Domestic Violence

Despite much progress in gender relations over the past few decades, domestic violence remains a serious issue. Though both men and women can be victimised by domestic violence, research indicates that domestic violence against men is rare, though about one in three women are eventually victimised by domestic violence. At Three Seas, we work with domestic violence victims to move past the pain and trauma. If you have a history of domestic violence or are in an abusive relationship, we may also be able to help you navigate these challenges.

The Difference Between Domestic Violence and Normal Conflict

Domestic violence isn’t just a tiff gone awry, and it’s not a natural reaction to intense conflict. It doesn’t matter what your partner has done or failed to do. Infidelity, disrespect, dishonesty, and a host of other problems are common in relationships, but they are not a valid excuse to hit your partner. If you believe such behaviours excuse domestic violence, then you are almost certainly an abuser.

So how can you tell if you’re trapped in a domestic violence relationship? Not all abusive relationships begin with physical violence. In fact, in most cases the violence starts small, steadily escalating over time. Some signs that your relationship is an abusive one, and that you’re not just experiencing normal conflict include:

Understanding the Cycle of Abuse

Domestic violence is cyclical in nature, so if your partner is nice to you sometimes, or even most of the time, this doesn’t mean you’re not in an abusive relationship. Most experts on domestic violence recognise three distinct phases to the abuse.

What is the tension building phase in an abusive relationship?

During this period, conflict steadily builds. You may argue about daily issues, work to please your abuser, or perform some combination of the two. In most cases, you can feel that things are steadily getting worse as the frequency of your partner’s kindness gradually decreases.

Battering

During the battering phase the abuser uses things that happened during the tension-building phase – such as infidelity, disagreements, or issues with your children – as a reason to lash out at you. Battering may take the form of physical or emotional violence, or some combination of the two. Battering tends to escalate over time, but each battering cycle may be different from the last.

What is the honeymoon phase in the cycle of domestic violence?

The honeymoon phase in the cycle of domestic violence is when the abuser temporarily stops battering, apologizes for their actions, and may take extraordinary measures to show remorse. This period, where the abuser is kind and apologetic, often keeps victims in abusive relationships, as they desperately want to believe things will improve. However, the batterer typically does not take meaningful steps toward improvement, such as seeking therapy or recognizing their participation in a cycle of abuse. The consequences of domestic violence, though, cannot be overstated, affecting victims in myriad ways, including trauma to children, severe injuries, death, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, PTSD, and difficulty with daily tasks. At Three Seas, we offer intensive counselling to help victims move beyond domestic violence and into a happy life, starting with managing current relationships and strategies for exiting if still in an abusive situation. For those already out, we help rebuild lives by addressing depression, anxiety, depleted self-esteem, fear, and difficulty establishing healthy relationships. For perpetrators, treatment begins with recognizing personal blame for abuse, focusing on non-violent expression, anger management, and understanding underlying factors like insecurity or depression. We also offer support for couples who want to pick up the pieces after moving beyond violent relationships, focusing on amends, communication, and healthy expression of needs and anger, though we do not offer couples counseling specifically for active domestic violence.
The honeymoon phase in the cycle of domestic violence is when the abuser temporarily stops battering, apologizes for their actions, and may take extraordinary measures to show remorse. This period, where the abuser is kind and apologetic, often keeps victims in abusive relationships, as they desperately want to believe things will improve. However, the batterer typically does not take meaningful steps toward improvement, such as seeking therapy or recognizing their participation in a cycle of abuse. The consequences of domestic violence, though, cannot be overstated, affecting victims in myriad ways, including trauma to children, severe injuries, death, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, PTSD, and difficulty with daily tasks. At Three Seas, we offer intensive counselling to help victims move beyond domestic violence and into a happy life, starting with managing current relationships and strategies for exiting if still in an abusive situation. For those already out, we help rebuild lives by addressing depression, anxiety, depleted self-esteem, fear, and difficulty establishing healthy relationships. For perpetrators, treatment begins with recognizing personal blame for abuse, focusing on non-violent expression, anger management, and understanding underlying factors like insecurity or depression. We also offer support for couples who want to pick up the pieces after moving beyond violent relationships, focusing on amends, communication, and healthy expression of needs and anger, though we do not offer couples counseling specifically for active domestic violence.
The honeymoon phase in the cycle of domestic violence is when the abuser temporarily stops battering, apologizes for their actions, and may take extraordinary measures to show remorse. This period, where the abuser is kind and apologetic, often keeps victims in abusive relationships, as they desperately want to believe things will improve. However, the batterer typically does not take meaningful steps toward improvement, such as seeking therapy or recognizing their participation in a cycle of abuse. The consequences of domestic violence, though, cannot be overstated, affecting victims in myriad ways, including trauma to children, severe injuries, death, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, PTSD, and difficulty with daily tasks. At Three Seas, we offer intensive counselling to help victims move beyond domestic violence and into a happy life, starting with managing current relationships and strategies for exiting if still in an abusive situation. For those already out, we help rebuild lives by addressing depression, anxiety, depleted self-esteem, fear, and difficulty establishing healthy relationships. For perpetrators, treatment begins with recognizing personal blame for abuse, focusing on non-violent expression, anger management, and understanding underlying factors like insecurity or depression. We also offer support for couples who want to pick up the pieces after moving beyond violent relationships, focusing on amends, communication, and healthy expression of needs and anger, though we do not offer couples counseling specifically for active domestic violence.
The honeymoon phase in the cycle of domestic violence is when the abuser temporarily stops battering, apologizes for their actions, and may take extraordinary measures to show remorse. This period, where the abuser is kind and apologetic, often keeps victims in abusive relationships, as they desperately want to believe things will improve. However, the batterer typically does not take meaningful steps toward improvement, such as seeking therapy or recognizing their participation in a cycle of abuse. The consequences of domestic violence, though, cannot be overstated, affecting victims in myriad ways, including trauma to children, severe injuries, death, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, PTSD, and difficulty with daily tasks. At Three Seas, we offer intensive counselling to help victims move beyond domestic violence and into a happy life, starting with managing current relationships and strategies for exiting if still in an abusive situation. For those already out, we help rebuild lives by addressing depression, anxiety, depleted self-esteem, fear, and difficulty establishing healthy relationships. For perpetrators, treatment begins with recognizing personal blame for abuse, focusing on non-violent expression, anger management, and understanding underlying factors like insecurity or depression. We also offer support for couples who want to pick up the pieces after moving beyond violent relationships, focusing on amends, communication, and healthy expression of needs and anger, though we do not offer couples counseling specifically for active domestic violence.

Contact Us for Appointment

General Enquiry

Frequently Asked Questions

1 How can The Three Seas Psychology help individuals experiencing domestic violence?

The Three Seas Psychology provides professional and confidential support for individuals impacted by domestic violence. Our experienced psychologists offer therapy to help you process trauma, develop coping strategies, and work towards safety and healing.

2 What is the prevalence of domestic violence, particularly for women?

Despite progress in gender relations, domestic violence remains a serious issue. Research indicates that about one in three women are eventually victimized by domestic violence, highlighting its significant prevalence.

3 What are the typical stages of the domestic violence cycle?

The cycle of domestic violence often includes distinct phases: tension building, followed by a battering incident, and then a "honeymoon" period of remorse or calm. Understanding this cycle can be crucial for recognizing and addressing abusive patterns.