If You have never had an arguing and fighting in your relationship, then you’re very lucky.
You just have to learn how. People don’t see eye-to-eye at all times, especially when they are in a relationship for many years – It happens to everyone. But if your disagreements are getting nasty, getting more frequent, leading to shouting which ended up unresolved in silence, rejection, hurt, then it’s time to see psychologist.
Psychologists are experts in human behaviour. They have studied relationships as their main profession. Also visiting to a couples’ counsellor is often revelation. Dance You’ve been doing all this time isn’t unique to your relationship.
If you have been arguing and fighting with your partner, couples counselling is great way to start changing the way you argue. Psychologist can help you explore ways to break the repetitive cycles so that you can learn to take the olive branch – rather than hitting your partner over the head with it. Psychologist will also work with you to discover if anything lies behind arguments. Anger sometimes comes from sadness. There are also often anxiety also depression factors involved.
It’s impossible to have a relationship without periodically having disagreements with one another. But when you don’t have the skills necessary to healthily manage those disagreements, you may find
yourself trapped in a perpetual cycle of arguing and fighting. Three Seas can’t remove conflict from your relationship, but we can teach you the skills you need to manage conflict in a way that doesn’t
result in intense fights.
Why Do We Argue and Fight?
Unless you clone yourself, it’s impossible to have a relationship with someone who agrees with you about everything. And who would really want that, anyway? Relationships help us change and grow,
while offering us new perspectives which we might never be able to access without the love and support of someone else. When you spend your life with someone different from you, with different
needs and beliefs, disagreements are inevitable. Fighting and arguing, though, doesn’t have to happen.
For most couples, fights center around a few key issues. There are some difference in your marriage you’ll never fix. Maybe you love television and your spouse craves quiet. Perhaps your spouse’s
cleaning just isn’t up to snuff. Or maybe your partner’s family is intolerable. These challenging issues may never change, but with good communication, you can find ways to manage them without fighting.
In most cases, fighting follows a predictable cycle. It starts with a single issue or two, but when you begin arguing, both sides are willing to say just about anything to “win.” Soon, you’re fighting about
the entire history of your marriage, everything you’ve ever thought, done, or said, and everything about your future. It doesn’t have to be this way. We’ll show you how to break this cycle so that you can stay
focused on the issue at hand.
The Role of Better Communication
Every couple wants better communication, but for most people, it’s tough to hone the skills necessary to actually master good communication. It’s easy to point the finger at your spouse, but good
communication is a joint undertaking. By mastering better communication skills, you make it possible to discuss disagreements without being disagreeable.
Research suggests that some communication styles are more damaging than others. Those include:
- Contempt, the practice of dismissing your partner’s feelings and behaving as if you don’t care.
- Stonewalling, the tendency to avoid conflict by actively or passively refusing to engage. For
- instance, you might leave the house or hang up on your partner.
- Defensiveness. When you respond to every allegation with a defense or by blaming your
- partner, it’s challenging for your partner to feel heard. This makes it nearly impossible to fix
- your problems.
- Criticism. Sometimes criticism is unavoidable, but in most marriages, both partners criticize
- one another too much and praise each other far too little.
Unfortunately, these behaviors are all too common in most marriages, and study after study has shown that they are major predictors of divorce. There are better ways of communicating, but you must be
willing to put in the work.
How Three Seas Counselling Can Help
Three Seas helps you address your issues in a variety of ways. First, we’ll work with you to understand the core problems in your relationship. From there, we help you tackle each problem one by one, in
a healthy and kind way. We’ll give you assignments for home so that you can practice what you’ve learned, and we’ll watch you discuss issues while offering meaningful feedback on what you can do
If we notice a prolonged pattern of unhealthy communication, we’ll work directly to help you disrupt this pattern. And if life stressors, mental illness, or unspoken disputes are at the heart of your
challenges, we can help you address these, too.