Relationship and Couples Counselling in Melbourne
Explore new and more satisfying ways of interacting with your partner with our relationship & marriage couples counselling in Melbourne. This is a very specialised field and the psychologists at The Three Seas Psychology group are fully trained to assist you and your partner, with appropriate relationship and couples counselling.
What is Marriage, Relationship or Couples Counselling?
Relationship counselling can help you build and maintain relationships that enrich your life. Unlock the potential of your relationship through couples counselling, a transformative journey that enriches your life. In the course of any relationship, it’s natural for complex issues like sex, co-parenting, or communication problems to arise – after all, we’re only human. Our expert couples’ counsellors specialise in helping you and your partner navigate these challenges, providing the support needed to get your relationship back on track. Invest in the well-being of your relationship by choosing the right couples counsellor to guide you through the complexities of life and love.
Insights from our Couples Therapists in Melbourne on the Benefits of Counselling
Couples counselling / couples therapy can help you to explore more satisfying ways of interacting with your partner, as well as to manage disagreements before they become toxic. With these new skills, you will learn to communicate effectively and seek to understand why and how you and or your partner become defensive. Therapy will explore and identify both your partner’s and your wants and needs. These skills may also identify and explore why many couples avoid talking about difficult topics such as sex or parenting decisions.
Effective counselling supports lovers and families to open and enrich their lives with more joy and happiness. Couples learn how to bring more patience and care into their conversations. Gradually, both may become more assertive about what’s important to each person without criticism or blame. Most people want those around them to feel comfortable and safe, but triggers and memories of a hard time often leave people ‘sitting on the fence’ when it comes to trying to form close relationships. Relationship therapists will help couples learn how to feel safer, more at ease and how to create meaningful connections.
Couple counselling can help you to:
- clarify your expectations
- enhance your communication skills
- increase couple intimacy
- bring back “the spark”
- make it possible for even troubled partnerships to flourish.
When to seek couple counselling?
- Constant, personal criticism replaces constructive feedback.
- Contempt is evident through eye-rolls, sarcasm, and ingratitude.
- Defensiveness prevails, making it difficult to accept different perspectives or offer apologies.
- Emotional or physical distance emerges, leading to a lack of deep conversations and intimacy.
- Fantasising about alternatives suggests dissatisfaction with the current relationship.
- Negative thoughts consistently overshadow positive aspects, indicating a bias towards negativity.
- Presence of adultery, addiction, or abuse requires professional intervention for healing and recovery.
Two Therapy Options: Individual and Marriage Counselling
No matter how difficult the relationship, both you and your partner may have contributed to the challenges you are currently facing. Counselling is effective when both parties work together. This strategy enables you and your relationship counsellor to work together and create a plan to help you become aware of your behaviour, feelings, thoughts and how to further improve the quality of your relationship.
But what if your partner is unwilling to go? Or what if you are not comfortable going to counselling together?
More than half of couples report that at least one member is reticent. Our skilled counsellors are well-prepared to deal with this common issue. Although joint counselling is the ideal, one person attending still creates positive change, including improving the following skills:
- Communicating your wants, needs, and frustrations more effectively
- Understanding your partner’s feelings
- Coping with unpleasant emotions.
- Resisting the urge to criticise or otherwise behave cruelly toward your partner.
In many cases, individual consultation is highly effective – the couple may resolve their issue after a few sessions. If one person in the relationship decides to seek help it does not mean they are the one with issues. Relationships are dynamic and complex. When one person changes, the other person may adjust their behaviour accordingly and this has the potential to create satisfying relationships.
How is Couples Counselling (Couples Therapy) Different from Individual Counselling?
Couple counselling has its unique experience. It’s far more than just individual counselling with two people, and not all individual counsellors are skilled couples’ counsellors. So, what’s the difference? And how can you choose an experienced relationship counsellor? Here’s what you need to know.
No ‘Taking Sides.’
In individual counselling, your therapist only ever gets one side of the story. The psychologist’s job is to act as your partner and ally, which means the therapist is on your side—even when they disagree with your behaviour.
Couples therapy is fundamentally different. Your therapist can and should challenge both you and your partner’s behaviour, thoughts, and feelings. A good counsellor will never take sides. No partner is to blame.
In a productive couple’s session, you will likely alternate between feeling like the counsellor is on your side and your partner’s. That’s because the counsellor is on neither side and is instead prioritising the relationship.
The Concept of Unconditional Positive Regard
In both couples and individual counselling, the therapeutic practice used is a concept known as unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard means, listening without judgment or shaming you. It does not mean approving of everything you do. You should feel that your therapist accepts and supports you unconditionally. It is also important to know that your therapist may challenge you if they believe your behaviour is damaging you and or your relationship.
In relationship counselling, this tendency to challenge clients is often more apparent, since your therapist aims to gain more information about your behaviour. If you feel judged or shamed, tell your therapist, however, expect that gentle guidance and correction are healthy and fundamental components of effective couples counselling.
Mediation Without Judgement
A good counsellor directs therapy in such a way that it helps you make progress and promotes meaningful discussions. Therapists do not endlessly talk about feelings or allow you to fight without intervening. In this regard, the most experienced counsellors are a lot like mediators, but with one crucial caveat: they don’t judge. A good couples counsellor, will not tell you that you are “wrong” or “evil,” but will instead encourage you to see how your problematic behaviour affects your relationship, your partner, and your overall well-being.
The Primacy of Homework
Couples counselling is typically only an hour or two a week. That alone is not enough to improve your relationship. To see real change, you may need to work on the skills that you learn in therapy and be aware that the more you practice the more opportunity your bad habits will dissipate. Many couples counsellors give homework to help you practice and develop new skills.
Even if your counsellor doesn’t give you homework, try making your own. Consider prioritising a particular relationship goal or dedicating yourself to noticing your partner’s needs. You may be surprised by how quickly doing so improves your relationship.
It is important to note this precaution: punishing your partner for the things they say in counselling can harm your relationship. If you cannot talk about problems without getting angry about what happens in counselling, it is important to bring this issue up with your therapist.
The Three Seas Group offers comprehensive counselling for couples at every stage of their relationship, from premarital counselling to counselling couples who have been together for decades. Let us show you a path to deep satisfaction in your relationships.
Couples’ Counsellors and Couples Therapists
We have over 40 psychologists across our four locations in Melbourne that cover four broad geographical suburbs:
Melbourne (CBD), Inner Eastern (Richmond), Northside (Northcote) and Southeastern (Knox). There are couples counsellors and couples therapists at each of our Melbourne locations.
Counselling requires an experienced and professional psychologist. Our practices are comfortable, discrete, and easy to find.
Our Client Connect Team is available to help guide you and find an appropriate therapist. You and your partner don’t need to do it alone.