Generated by All in One SEO Pro v5.0.0.1, this is an llms-full.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # The Three Seas Psychology The Three Seas Psychology ## Posts ### [Blog](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/) **Published:** November 1, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Explore a range of mental health issues & topics on The Three Seas Blog. We dive in to emotional, psychological & social well-being issues. [![Paperblog](https://m5.paperblog.com/assets/images/logos/minilogo.png)](http://en.paperblog.com/ "Paperblog : The best blog articles around") --- ### [GLP-1s and Mental Health: Body Image, Weight Loss and Psychological Wellbeing](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/glp-1s-and-mental-health-body-image-weight-loss-and-psychological-wellbeing/) **Published:** August 13, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## GLP-1's and Mental Health GLP-1 medications have changed the conversation around weight loss. Medications such as semaglutide have become increasingly visible in healthcare, popular culture and social media, bringing with them conversations about appetite, weight, health and what our bodies are supposed to look like. But there is another part of the conversation that receives considerably less attention: **what happens psychologically when your body changes?** For some people, weight loss may coincide with improved confidence, mobility or quality of life. For others, losing weight doesn’t necessarily resolve longstanding concerns about appearance, self-worth or their relationship with food. In some cases, rapid physical change can create entirely new psychological challenges. ## Do GLP-1s affect mental health? There isn’t a simple answer. GLP-1 receptor agonists influence processes involved in appetite, satiety and reward, and researchers are increasingly interested in their wider psychological and behavioural effects. At the same time, a person’s mental health while taking a GLP-1 isn’t determined by the medication alone. Our relationship with weight is influenced by many things: previous experiences, self-esteem, social comparison, cultural expectations, weight stigma, eating behaviours and the meaning we attach to our appearance. This means two people experiencing similar physical changes can feel very differently about them. ## When your body changes faster than your body image Body image isn’t simply what your body looks like. It’s the thoughts, feelings, beliefs and perceptions you have about your body. And those don’t necessarily change at the same speed as your physical appearance. Someone can lose a significant amount of weight and still experience the same critical thoughts they had beforehand. They may continue to mentally picture themselves at their previous size, focus heavily on perceived flaws or find that the goalposts for feeling “good enough” simply move. Instead of: *“I’ll feel comfortable with my body when I lose weight.”* it can become: *“Maybe I’ll feel comfortable if I lose a little more.”* This is one reason weight loss and improved body image shouldn’t automatically be treated as the same thing. ## Why weight loss doesn’t always improve body confidence It’s understandable to expect that changing something you’ve felt self-conscious about will make you feel better. Sometimes it does. But if someone’s self-esteem has become heavily tied to weight or appearance, physical change may not address the beliefs sitting underneath it. Thoughts such as: - “People will value me more if I’m thinner.” - “I need to look a certain way to feel attractive.” - “My weight says something about my self-control.” - “I’ll finally be confident when I reach a particular size.” can remain even after significant weight loss. The number on the scale may change while the underlying rules about worth, attractiveness and acceptance remain exactly the same. ## GLP-1s, food and the psychology of eating Another significant change people sometimes describe when taking GLP-1 medications is a reduction in appetite or preoccupation with food. For some people, this may feel freeing. For others, it can make an already complicated relationship with eating harder to recognise. Food is rarely purely physiological. Eating can also be connected with enjoyment, comfort, celebration, routine, culture, social connection and emotional regulation. Changes to hunger and appetite can therefore affect more than food intake alone. This is particularly important for people who have experienced disordered eating, restrictive eating, binge eating or intense anxiety around their weight. GLP-1 medications are increasingly being studied in relation to eating behaviour, but the relationship is complex. They may have different effects for different people, and researchers have cautioned that more evidence is needed around their use in people with current or previous eating disorders. ## The new pressure to lose weight There is also a broader psychological issue emerging around GLP-1s. As substantial weight loss becomes increasingly visible and seemingly more achievable, some people may experience increased pressure to change their body. Social media before-and-after photos, celebrity weight-loss stories and conversations about who is or isn’t taking a GLP-1 can reinforce the idea that weight loss should always be pursued. For someone already struggling with body image, this can intensify comparison. Questions can shift from: *“Do I want to change my body?”* to: *“If everyone else can lose weight now, why haven’t I?”* That distinction matters. Health decisions are personal. They don’t need to be justified by other people’s bodies, expectations or opinions. ## Weight stigma doesn’t necessarily disappear with weight loss Another complicated experience can occur when someone’s treatment by other people changes after losing weight. Receiving more compliments, attention or positive feedback at a lower weight can initially feel validating. But it can also be painful. It may lead someone to wonder why they weren’t treated the same way before, or reinforce a belief that being thinner has made them more worthy of attention or acceptance. In this way, weight loss can sometimes expose rather than resolve experiences of weight stigma. Understanding these reactions can be an important part of adjusting psychologically to significant body change. ## What happens if the weight returns? Body image can also become particularly vulnerable when a person’s sense of confidence becomes dependent on maintaining a particular weight. Bodies naturally change throughout life, and medication plans can change too. If self-esteem has become strongly connected to the results achieved while taking a GLP-1, the possibility of weight regain may create anxiety, shame or a renewed sense of failure. Developing a more stable sense of self-worth can therefore be valuable regardless of whether someone’s weight goes up, down or remains the same. ## How psychology can help Seeing a psychologist doesn’t mean there is anything inherently wrong with wanting to lose weight or with using medication prescribed by an appropriate medical professional. Psychological support can instead help you understand **the role weight and appearance have come to play in how you see yourself.** Therapy may explore areas including: - body image and body dissatisfaction - self-esteem and self-worth - perfectionism - social comparison - weight stigma - emotional eating - [binge eating or restrictive eating patterns](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anorexia/ "Eating Disorder Treatment Melbourne") - anxiety around weight regain - adjusting to significant physical change - developing a healthier and more flexible relationship with food and your body. The goal doesn’t have to be to love every part of your body. Sometimes a more realistic starting point is learning to experience your body without it determining how you feel about yourself. ## GLP-1s can change your body. Your relationship with your body may need attention too. The conversation around GLP-1 medications is often centred on kilograms lost, appetite reduced or physical health outcomes. But significant weight change can also raise important questions about identity, confidence, eating, relationships and self-worth. If thoughts about your weight, food or appearance are taking up a significant amount of mental space, or you’re finding it difficult to adjust to changes in your body, speaking with a psychologist can help. At The Three Seas Psychology, our psychologists work with a wide range of concerns related to body image, self-esteem, eating behaviours, anxiety and psychological wellbeing. **You can book an appointment with one of our psychologists in Melbourne or via telehealth to discuss what you’re experiencing.** *This article provides general information only and is not a substitute for individual medical advice. GLP-1 medications are prescription medicines and decisions about starting, changing or stopping medication should be discussed with your prescribing healthcare professional.* Can GLP-1 medications affect mental health? Research into the relationship between GLP-1 medications and mental health is still developing. Mental wellbeing can also be influenced indirectly by changes in appetite, eating behaviours, body image, social experiences and significant changes in weight. Speak with your prescribing doctor about medication-related concerns and a mental health professional about psychological changes you are experiencing. Can GLP-1 weight loss improve body image? It can for some people, but weight loss doesn’t automatically result in improved body image. Body image involves the thoughts, beliefs and emotions someone has about their body, which can persist even when their physical appearance changes. Can you still experience body dysmorphia or body dissatisfaction after losing weight? Yes. Concerns about appearance can continue despite substantial changes in weight. Some people find that the focus of their dissatisfaction changes rather than disappears. Persistent or distressing concerns about appearance are worth discussing with a psychologist. Can GLP-1 medications affect your relationship with food? They can change appetite, hunger and feelings of fullness, which may change a person’s experience of food and eating. For people with current or previous eating difficulties, these changes can be particularly important to discuss with their healthcare team. Should I see a psychologist while taking a GLP-1? Not everyone taking a GLP-1 needs psychological support. However, it may be useful if you’re experiencing significant concerns about body image, anxiety about weight, disordered eating patterns, difficulties adjusting to physical changes or if your self-esteem has become heavily connected to your weight or appearance. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [ADHD in Adults: Signs, Diagnosis, and How to Get Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/adhd-in-adults-signs-diagnosis-and-how-to-get-support/) **Published:** August 25, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Excerpt:** ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is often seen as a childhood condition, but for many, it continues into adulthood, frequently going unrecognized. If you’ve ever felt disorganised, overwhelmed, or like you’re always one step behind, you’re not alone. This article delves into the signs and symptoms of adult ADHD, how it’s diagnosed in Australia, and the effective treatment options available. Discover how understanding this condition can lead to better support and management strategies, helping you reclaim control over your life and well-being. Don’t let ADHD hold you back, learn more about your options today! **Content:** ## ADHD in Adults: Signs, Diagnosis, and How to Get Support Published: 25 August 2026 8 min read ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is not just a childhood condition. For many people, it persists into adult life, and for a significant number, it is not recognised or diagnosed until well into adulthood. If you have spent years feeling disorganised, overwhelmed, or like you are always one step behind, you are not alone, and you may not simply be “bad at adulting”. This article explains what ADHD looks like in adults, how it is assessed and diagnosed in Australia, and what evidence-based treatment options are available. ## What Is ADHD in Adults? ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition characterised by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity that interfere with daily functioning. While it is commonly associated with children, research shows that approximately 60 to 70 percent of people diagnosed with ADHD in childhood continue to experience significant symptoms as adults. Crucially, adult ADHD often looks quite different from what most people picture. The restless child who cannot sit still in class may become an adult who feels internally driven but struggles to prioritise, follow through, or manage time reliably. Hyperactivity in adults is more likely to show up as inner restlessness, racing thoughts, or difficulty switching off, rather than physical overactivity. According to the [DSM-5](https://adhdguideline.aadpa.com.au/about/about-adhd/) (the diagnostic manual used in Australia), ADHD in adults is classified into three presentations: - **Predominantly inattentive** (previously known as ADD): difficulty focusing, following instructions, and completing tasks. - **Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive**: restlessness, impulsive decision-making, and difficulty waiting or listening. - **Combined presentation**: features of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive types. ## Signs and Symptoms of ADHD in Adults The following symptoms are commonly reported by adults with ADHD. For a diagnosis to be made, these must be present in multiple settings (such as work, home, and relationships), cause meaningful impairment, and not be better explained by another condition. ### Inattentive symptoms - Difficulty sustaining attention on tasks, especially routine or repetitive ones - Frequently losing items such as keys, wallets, or phones - Forgetting appointments, deadlines, or commitments - Being easily distracted by external stimuli or unrelated thoughts - Difficulty organising tasks, managing time, and meeting deadlines - Starting many projects but struggling to finish them - Avoiding or putting off tasks that require sustained mental effort - Making careless mistakes in work or correspondence ### Hyperactive and impulsive symptoms - Feeling restless or unable to relax, even during downtime - Talking excessively or interrupting others in conversation - Acting on impulse without considering consequences - Difficulty waiting, such as in queues or during meetings - Impulsive spending, eating, or decision-making - Emotional dysregulation, including quick frustration or mood shifts ***A note on emotional dysregulation*** *Difficulty managing emotions is one of the most impairing, but least discussed, aspects of adult ADHD. Many adults with ADHD describe intense emotional reactions, low frustration tolerance, and difficulty recovering from setbacks. This is sometimes called rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and can significantly affect relationships and self-esteem.* ## Why Is Adult ADHD So Often Missed? Many adults reach their 30s or 40s before receiving an ADHD diagnosis, and some are never identified at all. There are several reasons for this: - **Compensatory strategies:** High-achieving adults often develop workarounds, such as over-scheduling, list-making, or relying on partners, that mask their difficulties until demands increase. - **Gender differences:** ADHD in women has historically been underdiagnosed. Women are more likely to present with inattentive symptoms, which are less disruptive in classroom settings and therefore less likely to prompt referral. - **Misdiagnosis:** Anxiety, depression, and burnout share many features with ADHD, and it is common for adults to receive multiple diagnoses before ADHD is considered. - **Stigma:** Many adults resist seeking help due to concern about labels or scepticism about whether ADHD is a “real” diagnosis in adults. - **Late diagnosis following a child’s referral:** A common pathway to adult diagnosis is a parent recognising their own traits when their child is assessed. ## How Is ADHD Diagnosed in Adults in Australia? In Australia, a formal ADHD diagnosis can only be made by a psychiatrist or paediatrician. However, the assessment process typically begins with a psychologist, who conducts a comprehensive evaluation to inform the diagnostic picture. A thorough adult ADHD assessment generally includes: 1. **A structured clinical interview** covering current symptoms, their impact on daily life, and how long they have been present. 2. **Standardised rating scales**, such as the ADHD Rating Scale or the Conners Adult ADHD Rating Scales, completed by both the individual and, where possible, someone who knows them well. 3. **A developmental history review**, including evidence that symptoms were present before age 12 (a DSM-5 requirement for diagnosis). 4. **Cognitive and neuropsychological testing** to assess attention, working memory, and processing speed. 5. **Differential diagnosis**, to rule out or identify other conditions that may be contributing to symptoms. Following the assessment, your psychologist can provide a comprehensive report to support a referral to a psychiatrist for formal diagnosis and, if appropriate, medication management. A GP referral is typically required to access Medicare-rebated psychological services. ### Considering an ADHD assessment? The team at Three Seas Psychology offers comprehensive ADHD assessments for adults across Melbourne. Our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/arti-raghuvanshi/ "ARTI RAGHUVANSHI – Richmond") work with you to understand your history, identify your strengths, and provide clear, actionable recommendations. [Learn about our ADHD assessment and support services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/ "Cognitive Assessments") ## How Is Adult ADHD Treated? Effective treatment for adult ADHD is typically multimodal, meaning it combines more than one approach. The right combination depends on the severity of symptoms, personal preferences, and any co-occurring conditions. ### Psychological therapy Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) adapted for ADHD is among the most evidence-supported psychological interventions. It helps adults develop practical skills for managing time, planning, organisation, and emotional regulation. CBT also addresses the self-critical thinking patterns, such as shame or low self-worth, that often develop after years of unrecognised difficulty. Other psychological approaches include ADHD coaching, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindfulness-based interventions, which can support sustained attention and reduce impulsivity. ### Medication Stimulant medications, such as methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta) and mixed amphetamine salts, are among the most studied and effective treatments for ADHD in adults. Non-stimulant options are also available for those who cannot tolerate stimulants or have certain co-occurring conditions. Medication must be prescribed and monitored by a psychiatrist or, in some cases, a GP with appropriate endorsement. ### Lifestyle strategies While not a substitute for professional treatment, lifestyle changes can meaningfully reduce symptom burden. These include regular aerobic exercise (which has demonstrated benefits for attention and executive function), consistent sleep routines, structured daily schedules, and reducing reliance on digital notifications and distractions. ## ADHD and Co-occurring Conditions ADHD rarely travels alone. Research suggests that the majority of adults with ADHD have at least one co-occurring condition. The most common include: - **Anxiety disorders:** Chronic underperformance, missed deadlines, and interpersonal difficulties associated with ADHD frequently generate significant anxiety. - **Depression:** Adults with ADHD are at elevated risk of depression, particularly if the condition has gone unrecognised and untreated for many years. - **Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD):** ADHD and ASD share overlapping features and can co-occur, which requires careful assessment to differentiate. - **Sleep disorders:** Difficulties falling asleep, maintaining sleep, and waking at consistent times are common and can significantly worsen inattention and emotional regulation. - **Substance use:** Adults with undiagnosed ADHD have higher rates of alcohol and substance use, sometimes as a form of self-medication. When co-occurring conditions are present, treatment planning needs to account for all of them. A good assessment process will identify these and help determine where to begin. ## When Should You Seek Support for Adult ADHD? You do not need a diagnosis to benefit from psychological support, but if several of the signs described in this article resonate with you and are meaningfully affecting your work, relationships, or wellbeing, it is worth speaking with a professional. A psychologist can help you understand whether your difficulties may be related to ADHD, explore other contributing factors, and support you regardless of whether a formal diagnosis follows. Starting with your GP to discuss a referral and a Mental Health Treatment Plan is a good first step, as this may allow you to access Medicare-rebated psychological services. If you are in Melbourne and looking for an experienced team to guide you through the assessment and treatment process, [Three Seas Psychology offers comprehensive ADHD assessment and psychological support for adults](https://thethreeseas.com.au/adhd-melbourne/). ## Frequently Asked Questions About ADHD in Adults Can adults have ADHD? Yes. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that persists into adulthood for approximately 60 to 70 percent of people diagnosed in childhood. Many adults receive their diagnosis for the first time in their 20s, 30s, 40s, or later, often after a child in the family is identified. Adult ADHD is a recognised clinical condition under the DSM-5. What are the signs of ADHD in adults? Common signs include persistent difficulty sustaining attention, chronic disorganisation, frequently losing items, struggling to follow through on projects, impulsive decision-making, emotional dysregulation, inner restlessness, poor time management, and difficulty managing responsibilities at work or home. For a diagnosis, symptoms must be present in multiple settings and not be explained by another condition. How is ADHD diagnosed in adults in Australia? In Australia, a formal diagnosis is made by a psychiatrist or paediatrician. A psychologist can conduct a comprehensive assessment (structured interviews, rating scales, cognitive testing, and developmental history) and provide a report to support a specialist referral. A GP referral is typically required to access Medicare-rebated psychological services. Can ADHD be treated without medication? Yes. Psychological therapies such as CBT adapted for ADHD, ADHD coaching, and skills-based interventions can meaningfully improve daily functioning and emotional regulation without medication. Many adults benefit from a combination of therapy and medication, though the right approach depends on the individual and the severity of their symptoms. Why is ADHD in adults often undiagnosed? Adult ADHD is frequently missed because symptoms present differently from childhood ADHD, because adults develop coping strategies that mask difficulties, because women with ADHD more commonly present with inattentive symptoms that are less visible, and because anxiety and depression can look similar to ADHD. Stigma and limited awareness among clinicians have also contributed to high rates of underdiagnosis. What is the difference between ADHD and ADD? ADD is an outdated term no longer used in clinical practice. The current DSM-5 diagnosis is ADHD, which covers three presentations: predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive, and combined. What was once called ADD refers to the inattentive presentation of ADHD. How long does an adult ADHD assessment take? An adult ADHD assessment typically takes two to four hours in total, often across one to two appointments. It includes a structured clinical interview, standardised questionnaires, developmental history review, and cognitive testing. Some services also gather collateral information from a partner or family member. Can anxiety cause ADHD-like symptoms? Yes. Anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, and trauma can all produce symptoms that overlap with ADHD, including poor concentration, restlessness, and forgetfulness. A thorough assessment helps distinguish between ADHD and other conditions. It is also common for ADHD to co-occur with anxiety or depression, meaning both may need to be addressed in treatment. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [Statement Regarding Recent Media Coverage](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/statement-regarding-recent-media-coverage/) **Published:** June 24, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** The Three Seas Psychology is aware of recent media coverage concerning a former psychologist who previously practised from our clinics. We acknowledge the findings made by the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal (VCAT) and recognise the significant impact this matter may have had on those affected. Our thoughts are with the individuals who experienced harm. We recognise the courage required to raise concerns about a health professional, particularly within a therapeutic relationship where trust, safety and vulnerability are central. We acknowledge that the process of reporting concerns and participating in investigations can be difficult and distressing. When concerns regarding this practitioner’s conduct were brought to our attention, The Three Seas Psychology followed its internal processes to assess and address the information available at the time. As further concerns emerged, the Principal Psychologist notified the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA). We also encouraged individuals who raised concerns with us to report directly to AHPRA so that their experiences could be formally considered as part of the regulatory process. Where appropriate, we supported individuals who wished to make reports to the regulator and assisted them in accessing ongoing psychological care and support. The practitioner’s contractual relationship with The Three Seas Psychology was subsequently terminated. Throughout the regulatory investigation, we cooperated fully with AHPRA and provided relevant information and documentation requested by the regulator. The Three Seas Psychology Group is committed to maintaining a safe, ethical and professional environment for all clients. We take concerns about practitioner conduct seriously and remain committed to supporting individuals who come forward with complaints. We recognise that recent media coverage may be upsetting for current and former clients. Any person who has been affected and would like support, information or assistance accessing services is encouraged to contact our practice confidentially. The wellbeing and safety of our clients will always remain our highest priority. – Robert Van De Berg, Founding Director The Three Seas Psychology Group **Categories:** General Health --- ### [What Grief Can Feel Like and When to Seek Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-grief-can-feel-like-and-when-to-seek-support/) **Published:** June 10, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## What is grief? Grief is the emotional, psychological and physical response to losing someone or something important. It is most often associated with the death of a loved one, but grief can also follow relationship breakdown, miscarriage, infertility, illness, job loss, estrangement, pet loss or the loss of a future you imagined. Grief can affect your mood, body, sleep, appetite, concentration, relationships and sense of identity. Some people cry often. Others feel numb, angry, anxious or disconnected. There is no single “right” way to grieve. ## What does grief feel like? Grief can feel different from person to person, and it can also change from day to day. Common grief responses include: - sadness or emptiness - shock, numbness or disbelief - anger or irritability - guilt, regret or “what if” thoughts - anxiety about the future - difficulty sleeping - changes in appetite - exhaustion - difficulty concentrating - withdrawing from others - feeling disconnected from normal life - waves of longing or yearning Some people feel grief strongly straight away. Others feel practical and composed at first, then experience the emotional impact later. This does not mean they are avoiding grief or grieving incorrectly. It may simply be how their mind and body are coping. ## What are the stages of grief? The most commonly known stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages can be useful because they describe emotions many people experience after loss. However, grief does not usually move through these stages in a neat order. You may feel acceptance one day and anger the next. You may feel numbness, sadness, guilt and moments of calm within the same week. Rather than thinking of grief as a set of stages to complete, it may be more helpful to think of grief as waves. The intensity may rise and fall. Some waves may be triggered by anniversaries, songs, smells, places, family events or unexpected reminders. ## Is grief the same for everyone? No. Grief is highly personal. How someone grieves can depend on many factors, including: - the type of loss - the relationship with the person or situation lost - whether the loss was sudden, expected or traumatic - cultural and spiritual beliefs - family dynamics - previous experiences of loss - existing mental health concerns - the level of support available - whether there are unresolved issues, guilt or conflict Two people can experience the same loss and respond very differently. One person may want to talk often. Another may need quiet. One may cry openly. Another may appear calm but feel overwhelmed internally. Different grief responses do not mean one person cared more than the other. ## How long does grief last? There is no set timeline for grief. For some people, the intensity of grief softens over months. For others, grief remains present for years, especially around birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and major life milestones. Healing does not mean forgetting the person or pretending the loss no longer matters. It often means the grief becomes less consuming over time. The loss may still be part of your life, but it does not take up the whole of your life every day. A helpful question is not “Should I be over this by now?” but rather: “Is my grief slowly changing over time?” “Am I able to function in some parts of life?” “Do I have moments of connection, meaning or relief alongside the pain?” ## Why does grief come in waves? Grief often comes in waves because the mind and body cannot process the full weight of loss all at once. You may have moments where you feel relatively okay, followed by sudden sadness, anger or longing. This can be confusing, especially if you thought you were starting to cope better. Waves of grief can be triggered by obvious reminders, such as anniversaries or photos. They can also be triggered by ordinary moments, such as hearing a song, seeing someone who looks like the person, visiting a familiar place or wanting to share news with them. This does not mean you are going backwards. It usually means grief is still moving through you. ## Can grief affect your body? Yes. Grief can have physical effects as well as emotional ones. People may experience: - fatigue - headaches - tightness in the chest - stomach discomfort - changes in appetite - disrupted sleep - muscle tension - restlessness - lower immunity - feeling heavy or physically slowed down Because grief activates stress responses in the body, it can leave people feeling exhausted even when they have not been physically active. ## What is complicated grief or prolonged grief? Most grief is painful, but it gradually changes over time. In some cases, grief can remain very intense and disabling for an extended period. This is sometimes referred to as prolonged grief or complicated grief. Signs that extra support may be needed include: - feeling unable to accept the loss - intense longing that does not ease over time - avoiding reminders to the point that life becomes restricted - feeling that life has no meaning - ongoing guilt, anger or blame - difficulty returning to work, parenting, study or daily routines - withdrawing from relationships for a long time - feeling stuck in the moment of the loss - relying heavily on alcohol, substances, overwork or avoidance to cope - thoughts of not wanting to live Seeking support does not mean your grief is abnormal. It means the pain has become too much to carry alone. ## Can therapy help with grief and loss? Yes. Therapy can help people understand, process and live with grief. A psychologist will not try to rush you, minimise your loss or force you to “move on.” Instead, therapy provides a safe space to talk honestly about what has happened and how it is affecting you. Grief therapy may help you: - understand your emotional responses - process guilt, anger, regret or unfinished conversations - manage anxiety, overwhelm or sleep disruption - make sense of sudden or traumatic loss - rebuild routines after life has changed - communicate your needs to family, friends or work - explore meaningful ways to remember - reconnect with identity, values and purpose - learn how to carry grief without being consumed by it Therapy does not remove the importance of the loss. It helps create space for life to continue around the loss. ## When should I see a psychologist for grief? You may benefit from grief counselling if grief is affecting your ability to function, connect or feel safe. Consider seeking support if: - grief feels unbearable - you feel stuck or numb for a long time - you are avoiding life because reminders feel too painful - guilt or regret is consuming you - your sleep, work, parenting or relationships are significantly affected - the loss was sudden, traumatic or complicated - previous losses are resurfacing - you feel isolated or unable to speak honestly with people around you - you are having thoughts of self-harm or not wanting to be here You do not need to wait until things are at crisis point. Many people seek grief counselling simply because they need somewhere private, steady and non-judgemental to talk. ## How can I support someone who is grieving? Supporting someone who is grieving is less about finding perfect words and more about being consistent, kind and present. Helpful things to say include: - “I’m here with you.” - “You don’t have to make sense of this today.” - “I’m thinking of you.” - “Would it help to talk, or would practical support be better today?” - “I remember them too.” Helpful things to do include: - checking in after the first few weeks, when other support may reduce - offering specific help, such as meals, errands or school pick-up - remembering anniversaries and important dates - allowing the person to repeat stories or feelings - not rushing them to feel better - not avoiding the person’s name if they want to talk about them Try to avoid phrases such as “everything happens for a reason,” “at least they lived a long life,” or “you need to move on.” Even when well-intentioned, these comments can make people feel unseen. ## What can I do when grief feels overwhelming? When grief feels overwhelming, small steps can help you get through the next hour or day. You might try: - taking a slow walk outside - eating something simple - drinking water - texting one trusted person - writing down what you wish you could say - resting without judging yourself - creating a small ritual of remembrance - reducing non-essential demands - speaking with a psychologist or GP The aim is not to “fix” grief in the moment. The aim is to support your nervous system while the wave passes. ## Grief counselling in Melbourne The Three Seas Psychology supports people experiencing grief, loss and major life transitions across Melbourne. Our psychologists can help you understand your grief, process difficult emotions, and find ways to live alongside loss while still honouring what has mattered. Appointments are available across Richmond, Fitzroy North and Wantirna South, as well as via telehealth. ## Frequently asked questions about grief and loss What are the 5 stages of grief? The 5 commonly known stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Not everyone experiences all of these stages, and they do not always happen in order. Is it normal to feel numb after a loss? Yes. Numbness is a common grief response, especially in the early stage after a loss. It can be the mind’s way of protecting you from the full emotional impact all at once. Is it normal to feel angry when grieving? Yes. Anger is a common part of grief. You may feel angry at the situation, yourself, other people, medical professionals, the person who died or the unfairness of the loss. Why do I feel guilty after someone dies? Guilt is common after loss. Many people replay conversations, decisions or moments and wonder what they could have done differently. Therapy can help you explore guilt with compassion and context. Can grief cause anxiety? Yes. Grief can trigger anxiety, especially when the loss changes your sense of safety, identity, routine or future. You may worry about more loss, being alone, coping with responsibilities or facing life without the person. How long is too long to grieve? There is no fixed timeline. However, if grief remains intensely painful, disabling or unchanged for a long period, it may help to speak with a psychologist or GP. Is there a right way to grieve? No. There is no single right way to grieve. People respond differently depending on the loss, their relationship, culture, personality, support system and previous life experiences. Can therapy help if the loss happened years ago? Yes. Therapy can help even if the loss happened months or years ago. Grief can resurface during anniversaries, life transitions, family changes or when previous losses were never fully processed. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [Signs Your Child May Need to See a Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-your-child-may-need-to-see-a-psychologist/) **Published:** June 3, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** As a parent, it can be difficult to know when your child is simply going through a normal stage of development, and when they may need extra emotional or psychological support. Children have big feelings. They can be anxious, angry, withdrawn, clingy or overwhelmed at different points in their development. But when these changes last for more than a few weeks, become more intense, or start affecting school, friendships, sleep, family life or daily routines, it may be worth speaking with a child psychologist. You do not need to wait until things feel severe or unmanageable. Early support can help children understand their emotions, build coping skills and feel more secure in themselves and their relationships. ## How do I know if my child needs therapy? Your child may benefit from therapy if their emotions, behaviour or worries are starting to interfere with everyday life. This might look like ongoing anxiety, frequent emotional outbursts, withdrawal from friends or family, school refusal, sleep difficulties, low mood, changes in appetite, or behaviour that feels unusually intense or out of character. All children have difficult days. The key question is whether the concern is persistent, escalating, or affecting your child’s ability to function, connect, learn or enjoy life. ## Common signs your child may need to see a psychologist Some of the signs that a child may benefit from psychological support include: - frequent emotional outbursts, meltdowns or anger that feel hard to manage - ongoing worry, fear or anxiety - avoiding school, activities, friends or situations they previously managed - withdrawing from family, friends or things they used to enjoy - changes in sleep, including trouble falling asleep, nightmares or waking often - changes in appetite or eating patterns - persistent sadness, irritability or low mood - clinginess or distress during separation that feels unusual for their age - difficulty coping with change, transitions or uncertainty - frequent stomach aches, headaches or physical complaints with no clear medical cause - perfectionism, fear of making mistakes or constant reassurance-seeking - difficulty concentrating or a sudden change in school performance - aggressive, destructive or risky behaviour - regressing to behaviours they had previously grown out of - struggling after a stressful event, grief, family separation, bullying or trauma These signs do not automatically mean that something is “wrong” with your child. They are signals that your child may be having difficulty coping and could benefit from extra support. ## When should I take my child to a psychologist? It may be time to take your child to a psychologist if the issue has lasted for more than a few weeks, is getting worse, or is affecting important areas of life such as school, friendships, sleep, behaviour or family relationships. You may also want to seek support sooner if your child seems highly distressed, is refusing school, is withdrawing significantly, has experienced trauma or grief, or if you feel unsure how to support them at home. Parents often wait because they worry they are overreacting. But seeing a psychologist does not mean your child has a serious mental health condition. Sometimes therapy is about giving children a safe space to express themselves, helping parents understand what is happening underneath the behaviour, and building practical strategies before things become more entrenched. ## What is the difference between normal behaviour and a concern? It is normal for children to feel sad, angry, worried or overwhelmed at times. It is also normal for children to test boundaries, have emotional reactions, or struggle with change. What matters is the pattern. A behaviour may be more concerning if it is: - lasting longer than expected - becoming more frequent or intense - happening across multiple settings, such as home and school - affecting your child’s relationships, learning, sleep or wellbeing - causing significant stress for your child or family - not improving with reassurance, routine or support For example, occasional worry before a new activity is common. But if your child is regularly avoiding school, asking for repeated reassurance, feeling sick with worry or becoming highly distressed in everyday situations, it may be helpful to seek professional support. ## Can a psychologist help with child anxiety? Yes. Psychologists commonly support children with anxiety, including separation anxiety, social anxiety, general worry, specific fears, panic symptoms, perfectionism and school-related anxiety. A child psychologist can help your child understand what anxiety feels like in their body, identify anxious thoughts, build coping strategies and gradually face situations that feel difficult. Therapy can also support parents with practical ways to respond to anxiety without accidentally reinforcing avoidance. For younger children, therapy may involve play-based approaches, emotional regulation skills and parent guidance. For older children and adolescents, therapy may include more direct conversations, coping tools and evidence-based strategies. ## Can a psychologist help if my child refuses to go to school? A psychologist can help children and families understand what may be driving school refusal or school-related distress. School refusal is usually not about a child being “naughty” or defiant. It is often linked to anxiety, overwhelm, social difficulties, bullying, learning challenges, separation distress, low mood or other stressors. Support may involve helping the child manage anxiety, working with parents on gradual return-to-school strategies, and collaborating with the school where appropriate. The earlier school refusal is addressed, the easier it can be to prevent the pattern from becoming more established. ## What does a child psychologist actually do? A child psychologist helps children understand and manage their emotions, thoughts and behaviours. Depending on your child’s age and needs, sessions may involve talking, drawing, play-based activities, emotional regulation strategies, problem-solving, coping skills, behaviour support and parent guidance. A psychologist may help with concerns such as: - anxiety and worry - low mood or depression - emotional outbursts - school refusal - grief and loss - trauma or stressful life events - family separation - social difficulties - low confidence or self-esteem - behavioural challenges - adjustment to change For many children, therapy is not just about reducing symptoms. It is also about helping them feel understood, supported and more capable of coping with life’s challenges. ## What can parents do at home? If you are worried about your child, there are some simple ways to support them at home. Start by noticing patterns. When does the behaviour happen? What seems to trigger it? What helps your child settle? What makes things worse? Try to name and validate their feelings before moving into problem-solving. For example, “I can see that felt really overwhelming” or “It makes sense that you felt nervous about that.” Validation does not mean agreeing with every behaviour. It simply helps your child feel understood. Keeping routines predictable can also help children feel safer, especially during stressful periods. Sleep, food, movement, connection and calm transitions can all support emotional regulation. It is also helpful to create low-pressure opportunities to talk. Some children open up more easily in the car, while walking, drawing, playing or doing something side by side. If things are not improving, you do not have to manage it alone. A psychologist can help you understand what may be sitting underneath the behaviour and what your child may need from you. ## Do I need a referral for my child to see a psychologist? You can usually contact a psychology clinic directly to ask about booking an appointment for your child. However, some families choose to speak with their GP first. A GP can help assess what support may be appropriate and may discuss whether your child is eligible for a Mental Health Treatment Plan, which can provide Medicare rebates for a set number of psychology sessions. If you are unsure where to start, speaking with your GP or contacting a psychology clinic can help you understand your options. ## When should I seek urgent help? If your child is at immediate risk of harm, has expressed thoughts of wanting to hurt themselves or someone else, or you feel unable to keep them safe, seek urgent support. In Australia, call 000 in an emergency. You can also contact a crisis support service such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800. ## Child psychologists in Melbourne If you are looking for a child psychologist in Melbourne, The Three Seas Psychology offers support for children, adolescents and families across a range of emotional, behavioural and mental health concerns. Our psychologists work with children and parents to better understand what is happening, build practical coping strategies and support healthier emotional development. If you are unsure whether your child needs therapy, it can still be helpful to make an enquiry. You do not need to wait until things reach crisis point before seeking support. Early support can make a meaningful difference. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [What Happens in a Psychology Session?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-happens-in-therapy-session/) **Published:** March 18, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## What Happens in a Psychology Session? (And Why It Feels Different Than You Expect) One of the most common questions people ask is: - “What actually happens in therapy?” - “What do I say in my first session?” - “Will I be judged?” For many, uncertainty about what to expect is one of the biggest barriers to starting therapy. This guide explains what really happens in a psychology session and why it may feel different from what you expect. ## What Happens in Your First Psychology Session? The first session is not about fixing everything immediately. It focuses on: - Understanding your concerns - Exploring your background - Identifying patterns - Beginning a formulation Your psychologist may ask about: - What brought you to therapy - Your current challenges - Personal history - Relationships and supports You are not expected to have all the answers. ## Do You Have to Know What to Say? A very common concern is: **“What if I don’t know what to say?”** This is completely normal. Many clients begin with: - “I’m not sure where to start” - “I just know something feels off” Your psychologist will guide the conversation. ## Will the Psychologist Judge Me? Another frequent question: **“Will my psychologist judge me?”** Psychologists are trained to approach conversations without judgement. Their role is to: - Understand your experience - Identify patterns - Support change Feeling judged is not part of effective therapy. ## What Do You Actually Talk About in Therapy? Sessions often include: - Current challenges - Emotional patterns - Relationships - Behaviour patterns - Thoughts and beliefs Over time, therapy may explore deeper themes such as: - Past experiences - Attachment patterns - Trauma - Identity ## Is Therapy Just Talking? No. While conversation is central, therapy also includes: - Skill-building - Behavioural strategies - Emotional regulation techniques - Reflection between sessions Therapy is an active process, not just discussion. ## How Do Psychologists Know What to Focus On? Psychologists develop a **formulation**, which explains: - Why difficulties developed - What triggers them - What maintains them This guides the direction of therapy. ## How Long Does a Therapy Session Last? Typically: - 50–60 minutes per session Frequency may be: - Weekly - Fortnightly This depends on your needs. ## How Long Does Therapy Take to Work? This varies. Some people notice changes within a few sessions. Others engage in longer-term therapy for deeper patterns. Progress depends on: - Goals - Complexity - Engagement ## What Makes a Therapy Session Effective? Effective sessions often include: - Open communication - Emotional safety - Clear goals - Active engagement Clients who participate actively tend to see stronger outcomes. ## Final Thoughts Starting therapy can feel uncertain, but understanding what to expect often reduces anxiety. You do not need to prepare perfectly. You just need to start. If you are considering therapy and want to understand what the process might look like for you, our team at The Three Seas Psychology is here to help. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [Does Therapy Work? Psychologists Explain What Makes Therapy Effective](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/does-therapy-work-psychologists-explain-what-makes-therapy-effective/) **Published:** February 17, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Many people begin therapy wondering, **“Does therapy work?”** Research and clinical experience show that therapy can be highly effective when several key factors are in place. While therapy approaches differ, psychologists consistently see that certain conditions strongly influence whether therapy leads to meaningful, lasting change. Understanding what makes therapy effective can help clients engage more confidently in the process and set realistic expectations about progress. ## What Makes Therapy Work? Several evidence-based factors influence therapy outcomes, including: - The therapeutic relationship - Readiness for change - Treatment approach fit - Session consistency - Engagement outside sessions Each plays a different role in shaping psychological progress. ## 1. Does the Relationship With Your Psychologist Matter? One of the strongest predictors of therapy success is the **therapeutic relationship**. Clients are more likely to experience progress when they feel: - Safe - Understood - Not judged - Able to speak openly This emotional safety allows people to explore vulnerable experiences, patterns, and memories that may otherwise remain avoided. If the relationship does not feel like the right fit, it is appropriate to discuss this or consider another clinician. Therapy works best when trust is present. ## 2. Does Therapy Only Work If You’re Ready? A common question is, **“Do you need to be ready for therapy for it to work?”** Therapy is most effective when clients feel willing to reflect and consider change, even if they feel nervous or uncertain. Readiness does not mean having everything figured out. It simply means openness to the process. Clients often enter therapy at different stages: - Crisis stabilisation - Insight building - Behaviour change - Long-term growth Psychologists tailor therapy approaches based on where someone is emotionally and psychologically. ## 3. Does the Type of Therapy Matter? Yes. Matching the therapy modality to the client’s needs is a key factor in effectiveness. Different psychological concerns benefit from different evidence-based treatments. Examples include: - [**CBT**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne-2/ "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne") for anxiety and depression - [**EMDR**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/ "Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)") for trauma processing - **Schema therapy** for long-standing relational patterns - **ACT** for values-based behavioural change Clients often ask, **“How do I know which therapy is right for me?”** Your psychologist will recommend an approach based on your formulation, goals, and history. ## 4. How Often Should You Go to Therapy? Therapy is cumulative, meaning progress builds over time. Regular attendance allows: - Trust to develop - Patterns to become visible - Skills to embed Irregular sessions can interrupt therapeutic momentum, particularly early in treatment. Many clients begin with: - Weekly sessions for acute concerns - Fortnightly sessions for moderate support Frequency is reviewed collaboratively. ## 5. Do You Need to Do Work Outside Therapy for It to Help? Another common query fan-out question is, **“Is therapy just talking, or do you need to do work between sessions?”** While insight is important, change often accelerates when clients apply learnings in daily life. Examples include: - Journaling reflections - Exposure exercises - Boundary setting - Communication practice - Nervous system regulation skills Therapy becomes most effective when it extends beyond the consulting room into lived experience. ## 6. Why Does Therapy Sometimes Feel Slow? Clients often wonder, **“Why isn’t therapy working yet?”** It is normal for therapy to include periods where progress feels slower. These plateaus can occur when: - Deeper material is approaching - Avoidance responses activate - Emotional risk feels high Rather than signalling failure, these phases are often clinically meaningful and may precede breakthroughs. ## 7. How Long Does Therapy Take to Work? There is no universal therapy timeline. Duration depends on factors such as: - Complexity of concerns - Trauma history - Support systems - Therapy goals Approximate ranges may include: - 6–10 sessions for focused issues - 3–6 months for moderate complexity - 12+ months for trauma or long-standing patterns Clients frequently ask, **“How will I know therapy is working?”** Progress is measured in multiple ways. ## 8. What Does Progress in Therapy Look Like? Change is not always immediate symptom reduction. Psychological progress may include: - Increased self-awareness - Improved boundaries - Emotional tolerance - Healthier relationships - Reduced avoidance Psychologists track both internal shifts and external behavioural changes over time. ## Does Therapy Work in the Long Term? When key change factors align, therapy can create lasting psychological growth. Long-term benefits often include: - Greater emotional regulation - Stronger identity clarity - Improved coping strategies - More secure relationships Therapy is not about “fixing” a person. It is about supporting insight, healing, and sustainable change. ## Final Thoughts Therapy is not a passive process done to a client. It is a collaborative experience shaped by relationship quality, readiness, modality fit, and engagement. When these elements come together, therapy can be highly effective in supporting meaningful, lasting psychological change. Does therapy actually work? Yes. Research shows therapy is effective for many mental health concerns when key change factors are present. How long does therapy take to work? It varies from a few sessions to long-term work depending on complexity and goals. What if therapy isn’t working for me? Discuss this with your psychologist. Adjusting approach, goals, or therapist fit can improve outcomes. Do I need to be ready for therapy? Openness to reflection helps, but uncertainty and nervousness are normal starting points. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [Managing Anxiety in Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/managing-anxiety-in-chidlren/) **Published:** June 24, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ### Anxiety in Children: How to Help Your Child Manage His or Her Anxiety Life as a kid is hard. Sure, there are no bills to pay or jobs to worry about, but it’s easy for adults to forget how tough it can be when you have no control over your life. [About a quarter](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/any-anxiety-disorder-among-children.shtml) of 13 to 18-year-olds struggle with a diagnosable anxiety disorder, with thousands more grappling with daily anxiety due to the stress of school, fractured families, and challenging relationships with peers. If your child struggles with [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/service/anxiety-symptoms/), [children counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) can help him or her move from panic and fear to relaxation and peace. There’s also plenty you can do at home to help your child feel happier. ### Give Your Child More Control When your child is panicking because life is stressful, it’s tempting to clamp down, take away his privileges, and give him even less control. But to an anxious kid, control is everything. Children who have some control over their lives tend to be much happier. Try giving your child choices, and when he panics, discussing why. Don’t tell your child, “Because I said so,” or remove his ability to control small decisions about his everyday life. ### Maintain a Regular Schedule All children, anxious or not, thrive when they know what to expect. Maintaining a regular schedule can help your child feel like life is manageable, all while giving her a stronger sense of control over her own life. No matter what else is going on, get your child to bed around the same time each night. Plan for family activities and independent time, and ensure your little one eats around the same time each day. For anxious children, small disruptions can add up to big distress, so if you’re going to be travelling or otherwise must disrupt your child’s routine, ease into it gradually. And don’t forget to talk to your child about the disruption before it happens! ### Limit Access to Media Violent television shows, frightening news reports, and online bullies can all make the world feel like an intimidating place. Talk to your child about his media consumption, and watch his favorite programs with him. Not only does this clue you into what your child is viewing; it also gives you something to talk about. Then limit your child to only an hour or two of media a day. Children who have free access to television are more likely to watch inappropriate programs, and therefore more likely to suffer from chronic anxiety. ### Get Plenty of Exercise Exercise isn’t just a recipe for a healthy body. It can also calm your child’s anxious mind. Encourage your child to engage in active play, whether it’s time outside, team sports, or video games that involve lots of jumping up and down. Every child needs between 30 and 60 minutes of exercise a day, and you can increase your child’s activity level by playing with him. Don’t just lock your child outside or force him to exercise, since doing so can make his anxiety worse, not better. ### Eat a Healthy Diet A healthy, balanced diet rich in protein and leafy greens can make a huge difference for children with anxiety. Some parents also report that multivitamins and supplements help, so talk to your doctor about whether your child might be missing any vital nutrients in his or her diet. Some children become intensely anxious when they get too much sugar, so ensure your child limits her consumption of junk food. Likewise, keep soda and other sources of caffeine out of your child’s diet, since this can lead to insomnia and chronic stress. ### Offer Unconditional Support Every child deserves to know that she is loved, no matter what. Talk to your child about her life, and take her problems seriously. Parents who minimize their children’s problems teach their children not to trust adults, and reduce the likelihood that the child will come to them with a serious problem, such as bullying or drugs. Instead, remind your child you love her each day, and encourage her to express herself—even if you disagree with what she says. Don’t punish your child for being sad or anxious, since doing so teaches her you don’t care about her, or her feelings. ### Nurture a Safe and Healthy Environment Though anxiety can be the result of mental health issues, it more frequently results from something in your child’s environment—a parent’s divorce, bullying at school, lack of friends, and similar challenges. Take your child’s concerns about her life seriously, and do what you can to provide a safe and nurturing environment, including by managing your own mental health. Children don’t typically become anxious for no reason, so if your child suddenly shows signs of anxiety, it’s time to look at what’s going on in her life, rather than blaming or labeling her. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents --- ### [What is the Gottman Method?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-the-gottman-method/) **Published:** October 24, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Understanding the Gottman Method which is A Proven Approach in Couples Counselling When relationships hit a rough patch, it can be challenging for couples to communicate effectively and work through their issues. This is where **couples counselling** plays a vital role in helping partners rebuild and strengthen their emotional connection. One of the most respected and research-backed approaches in **relationship therapy** is the [**Gottman Method**](https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/), developed by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. In this blog post, we’ll explore how the **Gottman Method** works, its core principles, and why it has become such a popular choice for **couples counselling** around the world. ## What is the Gottman Method? The **Gottman Method** is a structured form of **couples therapy** that aims to help partners build healthy, lasting relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. The method is rooted in decades of research, studying thousands of couples over time to identify the key factors that contribute to relationship success or failure. The core focus of the **Gottman Method** is to teach couples how to manage conflict constructively, improve communication, and deepen their emotional connection. By addressing these areas, couples can prevent breakdowns in their relationship and strengthen their bond over the long term. ### The Four Key Pillars of the Gottman Method The **Gottman Method** is built on four key pillars, each designed to address a critical aspect of relationship dynamics: 1. **Building Love Maps**: Love maps refer to the level of emotional awareness each partner has about the other’s inner world. Couples are encouraged to deepen their understanding of their partner’s needs, fears, dreams, and challenges. This foundation helps partners build a stronger emotional connection and fosters empathy within the relationship. 2. **Managing Conflict**: Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how couples handle conflict that determines whether they grow closer or drift apart. The **Gottman Method** teaches couples how to manage disagreements with compassion and understanding. Techniques like taking breaks, using “I” statements, and validating your partner’s feelings are all tools that couples learn to employ during **couples counselling** sessions. 3. **Turning Toward Each Other**: The way partners respond to each other’s bids for attention or affection is critical for maintaining a healthy relationship. By learning how to recognise and respond to these bids, couples can turn towards each other rather than away, strengthening their emotional connection and trust. 4. **Creating Shared Meaning**: Long-term relationship success is often rooted in shared values and life goals. The **Gottman Method** encourages couples to explore and create shared meaning together—whether it’s building family traditions, achieving personal growth, or working towards common life aspirations. ### Why Choose the Gottman Method for Couples Counselling? There are many reasons why the **Gottman Method** is widely recommended by therapists and highly effective for **couples counselling**: 1. **Science-Based Approach**: Unlike many therapy models that rely on anecdotal evidence, the **Gottman Method** is grounded in rigorous scientific research. The Gottmans spent over 40 years studying relationships in their “Love Lab,” which gives their method a strong foundation in empirical evidence. 2. **Practical Tools**: One of the major benefits of the **Gottman Method** is its focus on giving couples practical, actionable tools they can apply immediately. Whether it’s learning how to manage conflict or finding ways to nurture each other emotionally, couples leave therapy with clear strategies they can use in their everyday lives. 3. **Long-Term Benefits**: Couples who go through **Gottman-based counselling** report not only an improvement in their relationship in the short term but also long-lasting benefits. Many couples find that their communication continues to improve and their emotional bond deepens well after the **counselling** sessions end. 4. **Focus on Strengthening the Relationship’s Foundation**: While many therapy methods focus on solving surface-level problems, the **Gottman Method** dives deep into the relationship’s foundation. Couples learn how to build lasting intimacy, manage conflict in healthy ways, and create a partnership that is resilient to future challenges. ## How Can Couples Counselling Help You? If you and your partner are facing challenges in your relationship, seeking **couples counselling** based on the **Gottman Method** can provide you with the tools and support you need to rebuild your relationship. Whether you’re dealing with communication breakdowns, ongoing conflict, or feelings of emotional disconnection, **couples therapy** can help you work through these issues in a structured and compassionate way. The **Gottman Method** focuses not only on resolving current problems but also on equipping couples with the skills they need to navigate future challenges. This makes it an ideal approach for couples looking for lasting solutions and long-term growth in their relationship. ### Ready to Start Your Couples Counselling Journey? At The Three Seas Psychology, we focus on **couples counselling** using the **Gottman Method** to help couples reconnect, communicate effectively, and build stronger, healthier relationships. Whether you’re seeking support for conflict resolution, intimacy building, or navigating a life transition, our experienced therapists are here to help you every step of the way. [**Contact us today**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us") to schedule a consultation and take the first step towards rebuilding and strengthening your relationship. **Categories:** Blog, Couples Counselling --- ### [What is Mental Health: A Holistic Approach](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-mental-health-a-holistic-approach/) **Published:** February 17, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## What is Mental Health? Delving into the intricate fabric of human existence, mental health emerges as a foundational element shaping our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. But what exactly is mental health? In this exploration, we delve into mental health’s essence, history, influences, and well-being strategies. ## Unveiling the Essence of Mental Health At its core, mental health encapsulates the intricate interplay between emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It transcends the mere absence of [mental illness](https://thethreeseas.com.au/if-i-have-a-mental-illness-do-i-have-to-take-medication/), encompassing our ability to navigate life’s challenges, make meaningful connections, and fulfill our potential. Mental health is the cornerstone of holistic wellness, empowering individuals to lead fulfilling lives and contribute positively to their communities. ## Tracing Mental Health’s Historical Trajectory The genesis of mental health as a distinct field can be traced back to the aftermath of World War II, culminating in the founding of the World Health Organization ([WHO](https://www.who.int/)) in 1946. This pivotal moment heralded a paradigm shift, recognising mental well-being as an integral component of overall health. The evolution from “mental hygiene” to modern mental health initiatives underscores society’s evolving understanding and commitment to promoting mental wellness. ## Understanding Factors that affect Mental Health Life satisfaction, resilience, social support, and flexibility emerge as pivotal factors shaping mental health. Life satisfaction reflects our capacity to derive joy from life’s experiences, while resilience equips us to weather life’s storms with grace and fortitude. Social connections serve as a cornerstone of mental well-being, emphasizing the quality of relationships over mere quantity. Additionally, emotional flexibility fosters adaptability and resilience in the face of adversity. ### Navigating Challenges An array of challenges, including discrimination, trauma, socioeconomic disparities, and access to healthcare, can impede mental well-being. Recognizing these barriers is essential in fostering equitable access to mental health resources and addressing systemic inequities. Moreover, addressing issues such as low self-esteem, poor social skills, substance use, and social inequalities is paramount in promoting holistic well-being. ### Impact and Empowerment The impact of mental health transcends individual well-being, reverberating throughout communities and society at large. By prioritising mental health through proactive self-care practices, such as physical activity, adequate sleep, social engagement, and resilience-building activities, individuals can cultivate a culture of empowerment and resilience. Embracing a positive outlook and seeking support when needed are foundational steps in fostering a society that champions mental wellness as a cornerstone of human flourishing. ### Conclusion In essence, mental health embodies the intricate tapestry of human experience, encompassing emotional resilience, social connectedness, and holistic well-being. By unraveling the complexities of mental health and embracing proactive strategies for nurturing well-being, we can forge a path towards a society where mental wellness thrives. Let us embark on this journey together, empowering individuals and communities to embrace the transformative power of mental health. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [What is a Mental Fitness Gym?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-a-mental-fitness-gym/) **Published:** June 16, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## What is a Mental Fitness Gym? And how can it lead to a Healthier Life? In recent years, the concept of a “mental fitness gym” has emerged as a transformative trend in the realm of personal well-being. Just as physical fitness gyms help people strengthen their bodies, mental fitness gyms are designed to bolster emotional and psychological resilience. At The Three Seas Psychology, we believe that building [mental fitness](https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/mental-fitness) should be within everyone’s reach. That’s why we’ve created an online gym for your emotional muscles, making mental fitness accessible, convenient, and effective. ## What is a Mental Fitness Gym? A mental fitness gym is an innovative approach to mental health that focuses on proactive exercises to enhance your psychological well-being. Rather than waiting until mental health issues arise, a mental fitness gym encourages regular practice of activities that improve emotional strength, cognitive flexibility, and stress resilience. It’s about nurturing your mind with the same dedication you give your body at a physical fitness gym. ## Why is Mental Fitness Important? Mental fitness is crucial for managing daily stress, improving focus, enhancing relationships, and maintaining a positive outlook on life. Just as physical exercise improves your body’s health and endurance, mental exercises enhance your mind’s capacity to handle challenges and recover from setbacks. In our fast-paced world, where stress and anxiety are commonplace, mental fitness is more important than ever. ### Free Resources for Building Mental Fitness At The Three Seas Psychology, we are committed to making mental fitness accessible to all. Although we do not have a formal ‘mental fitness gym’ per se, our website offers a variety of free resources designed to strengthen different aspects of your emotional and psychological health. These resources can be easily integrated into your daily routine, helping you develop a robust mental fitness regimen. Our resources include: - Mindfulness Meditation Guides: Learn techniques to help you stay present and reduce anxiety. - Cognitive Behavioural Tools: Access tools to reframe negative thinking patterns. - Stress Management Tips: Discover strategies to manage and reduce stress effectively. - Emotional Regulation Techniques: Explore exercises to help you control and understand your emotions better. ### 3 Free Mental Fitness Exercises To get you started on your journey to better mental fitness, here are 3 simple yet powerful exercise that takes just five minutes a day. ### 1. Thought Filtering Exercise **Objective:** Challenge and reframe negative or unhelpful thoughts. **Exercise:** Create a “Thought Journal” where you write down any negative or unhelpful thoughts that arise during the day. Next to each thought, write down a more balanced or positive perspective. Reflect on whether the original thought was accurate or helpful. **Implementation:** Use a structured template for the Thought Journal to categorise thoughts and track your progress in identifying and reframing them over time. ### 2. Mindful Observation Exercise **Objective:** Improve concentration and present-moment awareness. **Exercise:** Choose a familiar object or scene (e.g., a flower, a candle flame, or a tree outside your window). Set a timer for 5 minutes and focus all your attention on observing that object. Notice its colours, textures, shapes, and any movements or changes. Practice bringing your mind back to the object whenever it wanders. **Implementation:** Use the “Noting” technique to jot down observations or sensations that arise during the exercise, helping to anchor your focus and cultivate mindfulness. ### 3. Grounding Exercise for Rumination **Objective:** Break the cycle of rumination and return to the present moment. **Exercise:** Develop a “Sensory Grounding Toolkit” with items that engage each of your senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste). When you catch yourself ruminating, reach for one of these items and spend a few minutes fully experiencing it. For example, hold a smooth stone and notice its texture, or listen to calming music to shift your focus away from repetitive thoughts. **Implementation:** Practice incorporating sensory grounding techniques into daily routines or stressful situations to build resilience against rumination. ### Conclusion Embracing the concept of a mental fitness gym can be a game-changer for your overall well-being. By incorporating regular mental fitness exercises into your routine, you can build a stronger, more resilient mind. While The Three Seas Psychology does not offer a dedicated mental fitness gym, our free online resources provide the tools and guidance you need to enhance your emotional muscles. Start today with our free 5-minute mindfulness meditation and experience the positive impact on your mental health. Explore our website to access a wide range of resources dedicated to mental fitness. Your journey to a healthier, happier mind begins here. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Understanding Suicide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-suicide/) **Published:** April 29, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Understanding Suicide: Taking Suicidal Thoughts and Actions Seriously. Unveiling the Shocking Reality of a Common Tragedy. ### Suicide: Warning Signs, Why People Kill Themselves What causes people to kill themselves? And how can you tell if someone you love is in danger of committing suicide? That requires careful, compassionate observation. ### Why Do People Commit Suicide? There’s no single cause that can explain every instance of suicide. Research shows that, for most suicide victims, it’s not a desire to die but a desire to no longer live. That might seem like a trivial distinction, but what it means is that suicide happens when its victims can no longer tolerate the circumstances of their lives. Some of the most common reasons people commit suicide include: - Mental illness. As many as two-thirds of people who commit suicide had [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) at the time of their death; mental illness is the single biggest predictor of suicide. - Isolation and loneliness: People who feel unloved or who are isolated from family and friends are significantly more likely to commit suicide. This is why ignoring the pleas of a suicidal loved one or discounting his or her threats is so dangerous. - The end of a relationship: Break-ups and divorces sometimes trigger depressive feelings that give rise to suicidal actions. - Loss of a sense of identity: People who lose their jobs, a home, or something else from which they derived a sense of identity are at an increased risk of suicide. - Physical health issues: Some people kill themselves because they do not want to be a burden to loved ones, or because their physical suffering feels too great to bear. ## Suicide Warning Signs People do not attempt or threaten suicide to manipulate loved ones, contrary to popular myth. You should take all suicidal actions and gestures seriously. Some common warning signs of suicide include: - A history of depression or mental illness. - Previous suicide attempts. - Threatening suicide; the more frequent and specific the threats, the higher the risk. - Creating a suicide plan or writing a suicide note. - Giving away beloved possessions. - Saying goodbye to loved ones. - Transitioning from severely depressed and suicidal to calmer and happier. If nothing has changed and the person has not sought treatment, this could be because he or she has decided to commit suicide. Some people feel relief once they have established a suicide plan, contributing to an outward appearance of sound mental health. ## How to Help a Suicidal Loved One You cannot stop a loved one from killing himself or herself, even if you watch him or her 24 hours a day. This means you should never hold yourself responsible for another person’s suicide. Someone who is bound and determined to commit suicide will do if he or she does not get help and has the opportunity. If, however, someone you love is suicidal, there are things you can do to help, including: - If the person is a child, alert a caring adult. This is often a parent, but not always. If the child’s relationship with the parent is strained or the parent is abusive, it might be better to talk to a grandparent, teacher, aunt, or uncle. - Spend time with your loved one, and offer to do something fun together to take his or her mind off of the suffering. This can remind your loved one that his or her life has value, and that a suicide would hurt the people your loved one cares about. - Encourage your loved one to seek treatment. [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can and does help people cope with suicidal feelings, even when they face extremely painful life circumstances. Contact emergency services if your loved one is in immediate danger. - Ask your loved one to give you any weapons in the house until he or she feels better. - Remind your loved one that things can get better. Offer to work with them on a plan to make life feel more bearable. - Ask what you can do to help. Sometimes this is all it takes. Three Seas regularly works with people who experience suicidal thoughts, so if you are struggling, please do not hesitate to contact us for help. Contact [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) 24/7 crisis support. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Unlock Your Child's Potential: Psychology in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-child-psychology-melbourne/) **Published:** May 15, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Understanding Child Psychology: When to Seek Help and What to Expect in Melbourne In today’s fast-paced world, parents often find themselves navigating various challenges when it comes to their children’s mental health and well-being. Child psychology, a specialised field focusing on understanding and addressing children’s emotional, behavioural, and developmental concerns, plays a crucial role in providing support and guidance to both children and their families. In this blog post, we will explore when parents might need to seek a psychologist for their child, what is involved in a child psychology session, the role of parents in the therapeutic process, the age appropriateness of therapy, and the types of therapy that work well for children. ## When to Seek Child psychology Help? Parents may consider seeking the assistance of a child psychologist when they observe persistent behavioural changes, emotional difficulties, or developmental delays in their child. Some signs that may indicate the need for professional intervention include: - Persistent sadness, anxiety, or mood swings - Behavioural problems such as aggression, defiance, or withdrawal - Difficulty coping with major life transitions such as divorce or loss - Academic struggles or learning disabilities - Traumatic experiences such as abuse, bullying, or accidents - Social difficulties or challenges in forming friendships - Developmental delays in speech, language, or motor skills ## What is Involved in a Child Psychology Session? Child psychology sessions typically involve a series of assessments, evaluations, and therapeutic interventions tailored to meet the specific needs of each child. During the initial session, the psychologist will conduct a comprehensive assessment, which may include interviews with the child and parents, standardized tests, behavioural observations, and gathering information from other relevant sources such as teachers or healthcare providers. Based on the assessment findings, the psychologist will develop a personalised treatment plan, which may include individual therapy, family therapy, play therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), or other evidence-based interventions. Therapy sessions may involve various activities such as talking, drawing, role-playing, or engaging in structured exercises aimed at addressing the child’s unique challenges and promoting emotional growth and resilience. ### The Role of Parents: Parents play a crucial role in the therapeutic process and are considered essential partners in their child’s treatment journey. While the child may be the primary focus of therapy sessions, parents are actively involved in setting treatment goals, implementing therapeutic strategies at home, and providing ongoing support and encouragement to their child. In some cases, parents may also participate in joint therapy sessions with their child to address family dynamics, communication issues, or parenting strategies. Additionally, psychologists may offer guidance and psychoeducation to parents on understanding their child’s emotions and behaviors, managing challenging situations, and fostering positive parent-child relationships. ### Age Appropriateness of Therapy: Child therapy is suitable for children of all ages, from early childhood through adolescence. Therapists are trained to adapt their approach to meet the developmental needs and cognitive abilities of each child, ensuring that therapy interventions are age-appropriate and engaging. Play therapy, art therapy, and expressive therapies are commonly used with younger children, while older children may benefit from more structured approaches such as CBT or dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). ### Types of Therapy for Children: Several types of therapy have been found to be effective in helping children overcome emotional and behavioral difficulties. Some commonly used therapeutic approaches in child psychology include: - [Play Therapy](https://apta.asn.au/faq): Utilises play and creative expression to help children communicate, process emotions, and resolve conflicts. - [Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne/ "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne") (CBT): Focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviours to promote positive coping skills and problem-solving strategies. - Family Therapy: Addresses family dynamics, communication patterns, and interpersonal relationships to improve overall family functioning and support the child’s emotional well-being. - Art Therapy: Uses art materials and techniques to facilitate self-expression, explore feelings, and enhance emotional awareness and regulation. Child psychology plays a vital role in supporting children and families facing emotional, behavioural, and developmental challenges. By recognising the signs that may indicate the need for professional help, understanding what to expect in a child psychology session, actively participating in the therapeutic process, and exploring age-appropriate therapy options, parents can empower their children to thrive and reach their full potential. If you’re seeking child psychology in Melbourne, don’t hesitate to reach out to qualified professionals who can provide the support and guidance your child needs. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [SCHOOLIES WEEK SAFETY](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/schoolies/) **Published:** November 14, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## **Schoolies: How to Help Your Teen Stay Safe and Celebrate Responsibly** ### What is Schoolies? Schoolies is a tradition in Australia where high school graduates celebrate the end of Year 12 with a week of parties, usually in popular holiday destinations. It’s a milestone filled with excitement, but also potential risks. We explore schoolies week safety. ### The History and Significance of Schoolies in Australia The Schoolies tradition began on the Gold Coast in the 1970s and has since grown into a national phenomenon. While it can offer a well-earned celebration, it also highlights the challenges teens face when stepping into adulthood — often without parental supervision. ### Popular Schoolies Destinations Some of the most common Schoolies spots include: - Surfers Paradise (QLD) - Byron Bay (NSW) - Lorne and Torquay (VIC) - Bali or Fiji for overseas celebrations These locations typically attract large crowds and party atmospheres, making **risk awareness even more critical**. Schoolies week is an exciting rite of passage for thousands of Australian teenagers — but it also comes with **real risks**. From binge drinking to peer pressure, Schoolies can sometimes result in **dangerous or even tragic consequences**. As a parent, it’s natural to feel nervous. So how can you help your teen **stay safe, make good choices**, and enjoy this milestone in a healthy way? ## 🧠 Understanding Risk-Taking in the Teenage Brain It’s important to understand that **risk-taking behaviour is hardwired** into the adolescent brain. It’s not a result of bad parenting or teen rebellion — it’s biology. During adolescence, the part of the brain responsible for logic and impulse control (the prefrontal cortex) is still developing. Meanwhile, their **dopamine reward system** is highly active — especially when they’re with peers. This means: - They’re aware of the risks of [drinking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/alcoholism-and-binge-drinking/ "Alcoholism and Binge Drinking"), drug use, speeding, or unsafe sex - But they often **lack the internal brakes** to stop themselves - And their behaviour is amplified **in social settings** — like Schoolies That’s why Schoolies can be such a volatile mix of excitement and risk. ## 🗣️ Why Talking to Your Teen Matters While you can’t control every decision your child makes, you **can influence their thinking**. The key is **open, respectful communication** — and starting the conversation before Schoolies begins. Encourage your teen to: - Reflect on their behaviour in group settings - Recognise when they’re feeling pressured to perform or impress - Use strategies to **pause and assess risks** before making impulsive choices Let them know you **trust and respect them**, and that your goal isn’t to stop them from having fun — it’s to help them start this next chapter in life **safely and confidently**. ### What the Data Tells Us According to a national report on substance use among Australian secondary students: - 6.4% of students drank more than four drinks in a single day in the week prior to the study - But during Schoolies, **over 70% of male school leavers and 60% of females** reported getting drunk on **most or all nights** The spike is clear — and so is the need for parents to **stay engaged and informed**. ## How Parents Can Help Teens Thrive During Schoolies Your [involvement](https://www.schoolies.com/parent-schoolies-information) doesn’t have to feel like policing. Here’s what works best: ### Support & Engagement - Be involved in **planning** their Schoolies trip — accommodation, transport, budget - Get to know who they’re going with and what their plans are ### Opportunities & Limits - Give them **age-appropriate independence**, but within clear boundaries - Talk about **non-negotiables** like drink driving, drug use, and consent ### Teach Self-Awareness - Help them notice when they’re “on stage” and acting for attention - Encourage “press pause” moments: stop → observe → evaluate → decide ## 💬 A Message to Your Teen > “I know how important this is to you, and I want you to celebrate. But I also want you to come home proud of the choices you made — not dealing with consequences you didn’t see coming.” Let them know that Schoolies should mark the beginning of something wonderful — **not the end of their safety, reputation, or wellbeing**. ### Need Extra Support? If you’re concerned about your teen’s readiness for Schoolies or substance use in general, our psychologists can help you: - Prepare for conversations with confidence - Understand your [teen’s behaviour](https://thethreeseas.com.au/youtube-what-parents-of-adolescents-should-know/ "YouTube: What Parents of Adolescents Should Know") through a clinical lens - Equip your family with **real-life tools** to navigate this major milestone 📞 **Call us today on (03) 9809 1000** Or [**book a confidential appointment**](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents --- ### [Relationship Struggles: When Love and Culture Clash](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/relationship-struggles-when-love-and-culture-clash/) **Published:** May 24, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Challenges and tips for interracial couples** Relationship Struggles: when love and culture clash, read on to learn more about the various challenges interracial or inter-cultural couples may face. We also highlight some tips to overcome these challenges and if you need further assistance, we have [therapists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/) & counsellors who have experience in [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) and marriage counsellors. Interracial relationships are becoming increasingly common in Australia, as the country becomes more diverse and multicultural. While the majority of Australians support interracial relationships, there are still some challenges that couples may face. 27.6% of Australians were born overseas and the majority of us have at least one parent born overseas (ABS, 2021). Whilst all marriages have challenges, for the third of marriages that are interracial, there are some unique challenges. ## Cultural Differences in Couples One of the biggest challenges faced by interracial couples in Australia is cultural differences. Partners from different cultural backgrounds may have different expectations, beliefs, and values, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. A common conflict occurs between members of collectivist (CC) and individualistic cultures (IC). Often people from CC will go to great lengths to help and take care of their family members. People from IC may view this as excessive and a lack of boundaries. Especially if the CC individual is frequently distressed due to their feeling of obligation to their family. ### Tip from a Counsellor: It is important to remember that family and identity are very influential over our personality and values. Try not to view your partner’s differences at face value. Instead assume they have the same importance to them as they have to you. ## Stereotypes & Prejudice experienced by Couples Another challenge is dealing with stereotypes and prejudice. Interracial couples may face discrimination from others who are not accepting of their relationship. They may experience negative comments, stares, or even harassment from strangers, acquaintances, or even family members. ### Tip from a Counsellor: You may not see the discrimination your partner endures. It is important to consider they may have experienced more discrimination earlier in their life. Furthermore, if you have no experienced discrimination in the same way you may not notice it. Remember to listen when they discuss their experience. Your job is to listen to their struggles not win an argument. ## Social Challenged experienced by Couples Interracial couples may also struggle with social isolation. They may feel like they don’t fit in with their partner’s cultural community or their own, leading to feelings of loneliness and exclusion. This can be particularly difficult for couples who are far from their families or support networks. ### Tip from a Counsellor: Often the little things can help to feel connected to our culture. This could be watching the footy, getting a weekly dose of the food our mum used to make or calls with family members. Our relationship satisfaction is separate to our feeling of cultural or familial connection. ## Couples and Culture Finally, interracial couples may struggle with the question of identity. They may feel pressure to choose between their cultural heritage and their relationship, leading to feelings of confusion and loss. This can be particularly difficult for children of interracial couples who may struggle with their own sense of identity and belonging. ### Tip from a Counsellor: You may not have thought about your cultural identity before dating someone outside of your culture. Consider it an opportunity to actively connect and explore your culture. It is also an opportunity to share your culture with your partner. ## Successful Relationships Despite these challenges, many interracial couples in Australia have successful and fulfilling relationships. The rise in internet dating has connected people who never would have in the twentieth century. Communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to learn and compromise are key to overcoming the challenges and building a strong relationship. By embracing their differences and celebrating their unique cultural backgrounds, interracial couples can create a rich and diverse relationship that is stronger than any challenges they may face. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”show” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **References** Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2021). *Cultural diversity: Census*. ABS. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities/cultural-diversity-census/2021. Calderon, P. S. P., Wong, J. D., & Hodgdon, B. T. (2022). A scoping review of the physical health and psychological well-being of individuals in interracial romantic relationships. *Family Relations*, 71( 5), 2011– 2029. **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, family counselling, marriage counselling, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [New Funding for Eating Disorder Treatment in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/new-funding-for-eating-disorder-treatment-in-australia/) **Published:** May 31, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** The Australian government has taken a significant step towards improving support for Australians grappling with eating disorders by announcing increased funding for treatment. This much-needed boost aims to address the growing concern surrounding these debilitating conditions, ensuring individuals receive comprehensive care. In this blog post, we will explore the details of the new funding for eating disorder treatment in Australia and its contribution to enhancing access to vital treatment options. ## Government Commits Additional Funding for Eating Disorder Treatment in Australia The Hon David Coleman MP, Minister for Health and Aged Care, announced that the [Australian government](https://www.health.gov.au/ministers/the-hon-david-coleman-mp/media/more-support-for-australians-with-eating-disorders) is investing $24.3 million to expand eating disorder services across the country. This commitment comes in recognition of the rising prevalence of eating disorders and the urgent need for accessible and comprehensive treatment options. ## Addressing the Growing Concern of Eating Disorders in Australia According to recent data, approximately one million Australians are affected by an eating disorder, with a higher incidence among young people. These conditions have severe physical, emotional, and psychological consequences, making early intervention and treatment crucial for recovery. The new funding aims to enhance access to evidence-based treatments and support for those suffering from eating disorders. By investing in treatment services, the government hopes to improve the overall well-being of affected individuals and reduce the long-term impact of these disorders on their lives. ## Expanding Treatment Options and Access One of the primary goals of the funding is to bolster the capacity of existing eating disorder treatment services and expand their reach. This will involve strengthening partnerships between public and private healthcare providers, community organizations, and specialized treatment centers. The aim is to create a comprehensive network of support that ensures individuals have access to the right resources at the right time. Additionally, the funding will support the establishment of new specialized eating disorder treatment centers across Australia. These centers will offer multidisciplinary care, including medical, psychological, and nutritional interventions, to provide holistic treatment for individuals affected by eating disorders. ## The Role of Psychology and Counseling in Eating Disorder Treatment Psychological support, including counseling and therapy, plays a vital role in the treatment of eating disorders. Recognizing this, the new funding emphasizes the importance of psychological interventions as part of a comprehensive treatment plan. With the expanded funding, more resources will be dedicated to increasing the availability of psychologists, counselors, and mental health professionals specializing in eating disorder treatment. This investment aims to reduce waiting times for therapy sessions and ensure that individuals receive the support they need promptly. ## Optimising Treatment in Melbourne: The Three Seas Leading the Way As part of this nationwide initiative, The Three Seas, will play a pivotal role in providing specialized care for individuals with eating disorders. With their team of experienced psychologists and counselors, The Three Seas is well-equipped to deliver evidence-based treatment tailored to the unique needs of each client. Whether it’s individual therapy, group counseling, or family support, The Three Seas offers a holistic approach to eating disorder treatment. With the expanded funding, they will be able to enhance their services, reduce waiting times, and make a more significant impact on the lives of those seeking help. ### Where Will the Money Go? Where exactly will the money go? The University of Sydney (InsideOut Institute): eClinic – $4,000,000 National Eating Disorders Collaboration: Right Care Right Place – $3,926,000 headspace National: Embedding eating disorder treatment in headspace centres – $1,530,000 The University of Sydney (InsideOut Institute): Digital GP Hub – $4,000,000 Butterfly Foundation: Virtual Intensive Outpatient Program (v-IOP) – $2,844,000 Eating Disorders Families Australia: Fill the Gap – $1,700,000 Eating Disorders QLD: Brief Intervention/Therapy for Eating Disorders (bITE) – $2,000,000 Medical Research Future Fund: Childhood Mental Health Research Plan\* – $50,000,000 The increased funding for eating disorder treatment in Australia represents a significant step towards addressing the urgent needs of individuals affected by these conditions. With a focus on expanding treatment options, improving access to care, and emphasizing psychological support, the government aims to provide a lifeline to those struggling with eating disorders. Organisations like The Three Seas are at the forefront of this transformative effort, offering specialised [psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) and counselling services in Melbourne. Through the combined efforts of government support, healthcare providers, and community organizations, we can strive for a future where comprehensive and inclusive eating disorder treatment is accessible to all individuals in need, promoting awareness, understanding, and recovery for those affected by these conditions. [![Paperblog](https://m5.paperblog.com/assets/images/logos/minilogo.png)](http://en.paperblog.com/ "Paperblog : The best blog articles around") **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist --- ### [Loneliness & the impact on your mental & physical health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/loneliness-and-mental-health/) **Published:** February 15, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Loneliness & the Impact on your Mental & Physical Health Many of us have experienced loneliness during our lives and the pain of social isolation. Loneliness is a phenomenon of growing global concern. It has made many of us aware of the importance of reaching out to someone (e.g. your elderly neighbour) to make sure they are okay. How does loneliness impact our mental & physical health? Unfortunately, the pandemic has highlighted the mental and physical impacts from loneliness. Research has helped us understand the power of human connection on our well-being. As human beings we need safe, secure and social surroundings to survive and thrive. It is a normal response to feel lonely in these socially restricted times. However, if you feel it is negatively impacting your daily life, you can chat to your GP or seek [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) for help. Loneliness is a subjective feeling that you may experience if you feel your relationships do not meet your expectations or needs. It is the state of being without any company or in isolation from community or society, and for many may signal a need to form a meaningful connection with others. Loneliness has been found to be a risk factor for many disorders like [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/4-simple-tips-for-breaking-the-cycle-of-depression/), anxiety, adjustment disorders and chronic stress. It has also been linked to higher risk of mortality, high blood pressure, overeating, faster progression of coronary artery disease, heart failure and poor sleep quality. Another recent study also found that loneliness may contribute to Alzheimer’s disease. Trends are also showing an increase in loneliness in emergency workers, hospital workers, mental health professionals, careers and young adults. Many of these professions are overworked and are finding it very difficult to establish meaningful relationships. Loneliness for many is negatively impacted their mental health. There are some very small mindful steps we can take that may help to reduce loneliness; - Make a special effort to connect with someone like a neighbour, a friend or a relative. - Connect with a group or society of likeminded people (spiritual, cultural, book club, etc) - Connect to nature – observing the beauty of a simple flower can lift the spirits - Exercise regularly – we are reminded that movement produces positive feelings and can help us calm down - Volunteering -your time in service to others can certainly create meaning and purpose for you and others. - Have a coffee with a friend - [Read a book](https://zenbooks.xyz/) you have always wanted to read - Listen or dance to your favourite music Think about what you enjoy doing – it may help beat loneliness! Ref: ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How to Manage Panic Attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-manage-panic-attacks/) **Published:** August 5, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## How to Manage Panic Attacks How to manage panic attacks? First, let’s jump into what a panic attack is. A panic attack is a brief episode of intense anxiety. Panic attacks can include symptoms such as a racing heartbeat, shallow breathing, dizziness, trembling and overwhelming feelings of anxiety. Panic attacks are common and can happen unexpectedly. Some people may fear having a heart attack or that they are dying. However panic attacks are harmless to us and can be managed. Tip 1; Understanding Panic Attacks Panic attacks are our body’s fight/flight/freeze response when we have feelings of anxiety. The body is getting ready to defend itself with our heart rate increasing, higher blood pressure and shallow breath. This is our bodies alarm system going off to alert us of potential threat. Panic attacks can occur even when there is no real threat present. Panic attacks are uncomfortable and can be scary but they are not harmful to us. You might feel you are going crazy, can’t cope or are having a heart attack, but this is not true. Panic attacks are often brief and will eventually pass. Often people will feel exhausted afterwards due to the amount of energy it takes up. Tip 2; Don’t Fight Your Anxiety. When we try to avoid anxiety or panic, this can often exacerbate the symptoms. Think of it like quicksand, the more you struggle and move around or try to get out, the more you sink down and get stuck. If you allow yourself to sit with the discomfort the feelings will pass, just as if you were to lay back in the quicksand without putting up a fight, you would eventually rise to the top. The goal is to manage your anxiety, not eliminate it. Tip 3; Breathing Techniques Hyperventilation occurs during a panic attack as we are breathing in too much oxygen. We can believe that we don’t have enough air or can’t breathe properly so people often further increase their rate of breathing. This can cause dizziness, faintness or rapid heart rate. The key is to slow down your breathing by controlling it. Deep breathing can reduce the physical sensations experienced during a panic attack. Take long deep breaths through the nose and out the mouth. A helpful breathing technique is boxed breathing. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat this several times to slow down your heart rate and reduce the amount of oxygen in your lungs. Tip 4; Identify your thinking patterns Panic attacks occur when we become anxious and begin to believe that we can’t cope. It’s important to remember that your thoughts are not facts. They are often false guesses about things that haven’t happened. Start by identifying what you are afraid of? Become aware of what is making you anxious and write it down. It is often the case that we overestimate or catastrophize situations. We begin to think the worst which makes us feel anxious. Once you’ve written down your anxious thoughts, challenge them. Look for the evidence for and against this thought. Is it realistic? Has this happened before? Challenge the belief that you can’t cope. These feelings might be uncomfortable, but they will pass. Consider talking to a therapist such as a [counsellor](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) or [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) to help you manage your anxiety and panic attacks. It is helpful to discuss your anxious thoughts to gain perspective from a health professional on how to manage them. Tip 5; Practise Mindfulness Panic attacks can cause feelings of detachment from the self and from reality. [Mindfulness](https://thethreeseas.com.au/daily-mindfulness-practices-you-can-use-everyday/) is a helpful tool to keep you grounded in your reality when things get overwhelming. Focus on the physical sensations around you. Feel the ground beneath your feet, wriggle your toes or notice the chair you’re sitting on. What does it feel like? Point out some of the things you can see, hear, touch and smell. Mindfulness is a good way to make your body feel safe and grounded. It reduces the perception that there is any threat present, which will calm the nervous system down. Remember that panic attacks occur because our bodies think a threat is present; we need to remind it that we are safe. Tip 6; Muscle Relaxation Progressive muscle relaxation involves tensing various muscles and then relaxing them to help lower tension and stress. Tense the muscles for 5 seconds and then relax for 10 seconds. Tense one muscle at a time and go through different parts of your body. This can include your shoulders, arms, hands, neck, legs and so on. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How to Access Affordable Mental Health Services in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-access-affordable-mental-health-services-in-australia/) **Published:** September 28, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **How to Access Affordable Mental Health Services in Australia** ## A Guide to Mental Health Care Plans The following provides a guide to Mental Health Care Plans and how to access affordable mental health care services in Australia. Including making psychological services & treatment more [affordable](https://thethreeseas.com.au/low-cost-counselling-melbourne/) and how you can find an appropriate service as quickly as possible. ### **Does Medicare pay for Mental Health Counselling or Psychology?** The Australian Government now subsidises up to 20 Psychology sessions in a Calendar year. It’s important to understand the requirements needed to access all 20 sessions. ### **Where do I start? What’s a mental health care plan?** Talk to your doctor. GPs expect to be the first person you talk to about mental health concerns. They are trained to consider immediate risks, long-term recovery and referrals to appropriate practitioners. They’ll do this by developing a [Mental Health Care Plan](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq/get-mental-health-care-plan/) (also called Mental Health Treatment Plan) by asking you questions about your circumstances and symptoms. There are two purposes for the Mental health Care Plan. Firstly, as the name suggests, it’s a holistic plan for the recovery of your mental health. Including phone numbers to call if you’re at risk of harm and when you should come back and see them again. The second purpose is to provide you with a referral to a Psychologist. An additional referral can also be written for a psychiatrist if medication is being considered. The Mental Health Care Plan, will typically allow you to receive 6 subsidised sessions from a Psychologist. Medicare will pay back between $89.65 and $131.29 for those initial six visits. I would strongly suggest booking a double appointment or even expect to have a follow up appointment the following week. This is because of all the factors that they want to consider and take care of. If you’re not sure what kind of appointment to book, call the reception and see what they recommend. ### **What do I do with a Mental Health Care Plan?** Your doctor may have provided you with a list of psychologists or clinics to contact. Currently, most doctors will ask you to research a practitioner or clinic then they will address the referral to them. This isn’t because they’re lazy or uncaring. Psychological services are in such high demand that it’s impossible for GPs to keep up with who is taking new clients. Most psychological clinics will have websites with profiles of their psychologists like [The Three Seas Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/). If you’re overwhelmed by the services on offer (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ERP, etc.), you can always call the clinics and they will help guide you to an appropriate practitioner (9809 1000). ### **Is it free to see a Psychologist?** Psychology services will only be free if they are able to [Bulk Bill](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-and-bulk-billing/) you. As this means a large reduction in income for the psychologist, they may only offer a handful of these spots, if any. Most psychologists will charge a gap fee. Currently the Australian Psychological society suggests a fee of $267 for sessions less than 60 minutes. After you have paid that fee you can receive a rebate from Medicare of at least $89.65 ($131.65 for clinical psychologists). Using the suggested fee the out of pocket expense would be $177.35. At the Three Seas we have 30+ practitioners who have varying rates, as well as low cost options. There are a variety of fees and some practitioners offer concession discounts too. ### **Why does it cost this much to see a psychologist?** Psychology is a very specialised service. They study and train for around 10 years in order to practice and provide these services. Especially, if you are seeking a highly specialised psychologist, the fees will reflect that. ### **What happens after I use my six sessions on the Mental Health Care Plan?** You will need to revisit your GP, who will check in and see how you are doing. During that follow up appointment they can write you a Mental Health Review for a further four sessions. This step is important to support your recovery and so that you can receive more subsidised sessions. ### **What are the COVID 10 sessions?** During the Pandemic the Government allowed people to get an additional Mental Health Care Review for [10 more sessions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq/will-medicare-cover-sessions-psychologist/). This has been made available until 2023 and may be extended after that. To access this, it is the same process as the first Review, visit your GP for a follow up appointment. ### **Is my Psychologist available 24/7?** No, Psychologists have structured schedules for you to [book appointments](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-bulk-billed/). This boundary is an important part of the treatment. Luckily there are many support lines available 24/7 which are listed below. [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) 13 11 14 [Beyond Blue](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/) 1300 22 4636 Written by Will Sutherland [wpdevart_like_box profile_id=”TheThreeSeasPsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”450″ header=”small” cover_photo=”hide” locale=”en_US”] **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Five Things You Can Do Now to Reduce Your Risk of Alzheimer's and Other Dementias](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-things-you-can-do-now-to-reduce-your-risk-of-alzheimers-and-other-dementias/) **Published:** February 19, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Five Things You Can Do Now to Reduce Your Risk of Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias. [Dementia](https://www.dementia.org.au/) is a leading cause of disability among seniors, and rates in Australia are rising at an alarming rate. Most evidence suggests that Alzheimer’s and other dementias have a strong genetic component, but this does not mean they are inevitable. Genes interact with the environment, and the right lifestyle interventions may slow or even halt the behaviour of genes associated with dementia. If you are concerned about developing dementia, or if Alzheimer’s runs in your family, the time to act is now. Read on for our five things you can do now to reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s and other dementias. Here’s how to [prevent](https://www.dementia.org.au/helpline/free-dementia-kit) this serious mental illness from affecting your life. ## Keep Your Mind Active and Engaged Maintaining an active, engaged mind is one of the very best things you can do to protect yourself against dementia. After all, use it or lose it! Your brain gets better at that which it frequently practices, so if you want it to keep working well into old age, continue challenging yourself. Challenge is the key here, so it’s ok if it’s not easy at first. Learning a new language or instrument, crossword puzzles, reading, or even taking up video games can all help. ## Get Plenty of Physical Activity Physical activity has always been one of the best thing you can do for your mental health. It may also prevent Alzheimer’s by improving circulation to your brain. Get at least 150 minutes of moderate physical activity, such as walking or swimming, each week. It’s even better if you can get more, so consider taking a dance class, joining an exercise group, or scheduling a daily walk with a neighbour. ## Eat a Healthy Diet Endless carbs and sugar can destroy brain cells and deplete motivation. Trim the waste out of your diet, and focus on getting lots of healthy, fresh foods. Protein is especially important for maintaining good brain health. Research consistently shows that the Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids found in fish, eggs, and some other protein can prevent dementia. Consider taking a supplement if you don’t get enough of these foods in your diet. Adding a daily protein shake, especially one made from vegetables, also can’t hurt. ## Maintain Close Relationships Loneliness doesn’t just feel bad. It could actually kill you. Social relationships keep your mind active and engaged. They also have been proven to reduce the risk of [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, and dementia. Schedule regular events with loved ones, and commit to a lifetime of making new friends—even if doing so gets more difficult as you age. ## Protect Your Cardiovascular Health You might not realise it, but your heart health and brain are inextricably linked. Poor circulation can lead to a type of dementia called vascular dementia. Strokes, high blood pressure, and other heart issues can also increase your risk of Alzheimer’s. Get a regular check up with your doctor, and ask what you can do to lower your cardiovascular risk factors. If your doctor says you need to be on medication, take that recommendation seriously. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** Alzheimers, counselling, counsellor, Dementia, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [Five Things Counselling Can Offer You](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-things-counselling-can-offer-you/) **Published:** September 29, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Five Things Counselling Can Offer You [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) has the power to transform—and maybe even save—lives. But taking those first few tentative steps into a counsellor’s office isn’t always easy. Spilling your feelings once you get there can feel downright impossible. [Counselling](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/counsellors-and-counselling) remains heavily stigmatised, despite its power to heal you and improve your life. Here are five things you’ll gain when you walk through our doors. ## Help Setting and Reaching Goals It seems simple enough: if you want to live the life of your dreams, you need to reach your goals. But all too often, setting reasonable, achievable goals is anything but easy. Your therapist can help you set clear and specific goals. Rather than the amorphous “lose weight,” you might focus on losing a specific quantity of weight, or eating healthier meals, for instance. From there, your therapist or [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help you break your goal into actionable steps that will steadily help you work toward your dreams. ## An Unbiased Perspective Have you ever gotten in a fight with your spouse and wished someone was there to tell you who is right and who is wrong? Or maybe you’re never sure whether your chronic anxiety is a predictable reaction to a stressful life, or the obvious product of an anxiety disorder. Your therapist has no biases regarding you or your family, and no reason to sugarcoat the truth. He or she can give you insight into your life, relationships, and behaviour. Equally important, your therapist can help you understand if there’s anything you’re doing to contribute to your challenges. For instance, he or she might notice that you tend to get easily defensive and point out that this behaviour can make it difficult to have fulfilling, deep relationships with loved ones. ## Assistance With Your Relationships Your relationships play a key role in your mental health. As social creatures, humans are defined by our relationships to others, which means that when your relationships are in trouble, so too is your happiness. Therapy can help you achieve better relationships by offering you [family counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) or [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/service/couples-counselling/). Even if you opt to go it alone rather than seeking therapy alongside someone else, though, you can still find a way to have better relationships. By improving your mood, communication skills, and awareness of others, therapy can help you steadily work toward better, longer-lasting, and more fulfilling relationships of all varieties. ## A Sympathetic and Nonjudgmental Ear Life is full of people who think they know better than you. Maybe your mother thinks if you lost weight, the rest of your problems would melt away. Or your spouse thinks your job—rather than your marriage—is the reason you’re stressed and unhappy. A therapist offers you an open mind and an open ear. He or she will listen to you without judging you, and that alone has healing power because this listening allows you to explore your own thoughts and feelings without guilt or shame. Over time, the sympathy your therapist offers you can help you finally see yourself as a good person worthy of love, support, and compassion. And that’s a winning strategy for a happy life. ## Strategies for Managing Your Symptoms Trying to move past [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, or the pain of a divorce can feel like banging your head against the wall. If you’ve been doing the same thing over and over again but haven’t gotten good results, a trained therapist may help you get to where you want to be. You may not know about strategies that work, or you may be too hopeless to try something new. Having someone there to encourage you to keep trying or to adopt a new strategy is often all it takes to get you moving toward recovery again. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Depression, Couples and Families, General Health, Individual **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [Couples Counselling Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/couples-counselling-melbourne/) **Published:** March 24, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Living in a world filled with frustrations, ranging from endless traffic to challenging work environments, can take a toll on relationships. Anger, a festering issue, often emerges at the least opportune times, affecting spouses, children, and families. In this article, we explore couples counselling in Melbourne, specifically focusing on anger issues and what individuals can expect from counselling. ## Couples Counselling For the Angry Spouse Few people are angry for no reason, so people who struggle with anger are often hesitant to go to counselling. After all, you’d be less angry if your life were better, right? Things are a lot more complicated than that. Anger is the product of frustrating emotions that you have not properly managed. Often it conceals sadness, inadequacy, and profound disappointment. Anger management in the context of [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/) helps you find more effective ways to manage your anger, even if the rest of your life does not change. Better still, in helping you to manage your anger, it can actually reduce the number of incidents—particularly conflicts with others—that make you angry in the first place. ### For the Spouse Married to an Angry Person People who live with angry people often develop issues with depression and self-esteem. Some even find they struggle to manage their own anger. Even if your spouse refuses counselling—as many angry people do—counselling can help you find better ways to manage your own reactions to your spouse’s anger. It can also help you understand why you chose to be with an angry person, and whether the relationship is merely frustrating or is outright abusive. ## Anger Management or Couples Counselling? Anger management and couples counselling are not mutually exclusive. Indeed, your couples counsellor can help you manage anger issues within the context of couples counselling. If your anger extends beyond the boundaries of your relationship, though, it might be better to pursue both couples counselling and anger management. Anger management specifically targets anger issues, cutting to the root of the problem more quickly and effectively than traditional counselling alone. It also helps you find ways to manage all varieties of anger—not just the anger you direct at your significant other. If anger is affecting more than just your relationship, consider trying anger management first. ## What to Expect from Couples Therapy? Couples counselling and anger management rarely use a single approach. Instead, your therapist will partner with you to better understand your life, your challenges, and devise a strategy that meets your needs while helping you achieve your goals. Some of the things you’ll talk about include: - How anger affects your life and relationship, and the ways in which it creates a cycle of more anger and more relationship problems. - Which specific stressors in your relationship and life most strongly contribute to your anger. - Healthy, normal expressions of anger versus destructive and abusive expressions of anger. - Common relationship problems, and how to safely and effectively address them without making your partner feel terrible. - Gentle questioning of your behaviour and habits; you can’t change if you do not know what’s wrong, and your therapist will help you and your partner identify problematic thoughts and feelings. - Help setting and working toward specific goals. - Assistance managing challenging emotions. - A judgement-free and compassionate space to discuss your feelings without worrying about those feelings being revealed to another person. - Help understanding whether this relationship is one worth preserving. At The Three Seas Psychology in Melbourne, we understand the challenging decision to seek counselling. We acknowledge the anxiety many clients experience and emphasize that counselling, including telehealth options, has the power to transform lives and salvage troubled relationships. With a customized treatment plan, we aim to make therapy beneficial and accessible, offering support for your needs, relationship dynamics, and life circumstances. For telehealth counselling or phone consultations, please call [(03) 9809 1000](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-bulk-billed/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Anger Counselling, Couples and Families, General Health, Individual --- ### [A Guide to Mental Health Care Plans in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/a-guide-to-understanding-mental-health-care-plans-in-australia/) **Published:** June 5, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** In Australia, mental health care is a critical aspect of overall well-being. Accessing appropriate support is essential for individuals facing mental health challenges. One avenue through which Australians can receive tailored assistance is via Mental Health Care Plans (MHCPs). In this comprehensive guide, we’ll delve into what MHCPs entail, how they work, and why they’re integral to the mental health landscape in Australia. ## What are Mental Health Care Plans? A [Mental Health Care Plan](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq/fees-medicare-and-private-health-insurance/ "Fees, Medicare and Private Health Insurance") is a strategic document designed to outline an individual’s mental health needs and the actions required to address them. It serves as a roadmap for accessing necessary treatments, therapies, and support services. MHCPs are typically developed by qualified healthcare professionals. Healthcare professionals include general practitioners (GPs), psychologists, or psychiatrists, in collaboration with the individual seeking assistance. ## Key Components of Mental Health Care Plans: 1. Assessment: The first step in creating an MHCP involves an assessment of the individual’s mental health status. This may include discussions about symptoms, past treatments, and overall well-being. 2. Goal Setting: Based on the assessment, specific goals are established to guide the treatment process. These goals are tailored to the individual’s needs and may focus on areas such as symptom management, improving coping strategies, or enhancing overall quality of life. 3. Treatment Plan: The MHCP outlines the recommended treatments and interventions, which may include therapy sessions, medication, lifestyle changes, or referrals to other healthcare professionals or support services. 4. Review Schedule: Regular reviews are scheduled to monitor progress, adjust treatment strategies if necessary, and ensure the ongoing effectiveness of the MHCP. # Who is Eligible for a Mental Health Care Plan? Individuals experiencing mental health issues that significantly impact their daily functioning and quality of life can access MHCPs. [Eligibility](https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/mental-health-care-and-medicare?context=60092) criteria may vary slightly depending on the specific requirements of healthcare providers or government programs, but generally, individuals must: - Be assessed by a qualified healthcare professional. - Have a diagnosed mental health condition or be at risk of developing one. - Require ongoing treatment and support beyond the scope of routine healthcare services. ## Benefits of Mental Health Care Plans: 1. Access to Subsidized Services: With an MHCP, individuals may be eligible for subsidized or partially subsidized mental health services through programs such as Medicare in Australia. 2. Comprehensive Support: MHCPs facilitate a coordinated approach to mental health care, ensuring that individuals receive holistic support tailored to their unique needs. 3. Improved Outcomes: By establishing clear goals and treatment plans, MHCPs increase the likelihood of positive outcomes and long-term recovery for individuals facing mental health challenges. 4. Enhanced Collaboration: MHCPs encourage collaboration between healthcare professionals, enabling better communication and coordination of care across different providers and services. ## How to Obtain a Mental Health Care Plan: 1. Consultation with a Healthcare Professional: To initiate the process, individuals can schedule an appointment with their GP or another qualified healthcare provider to discuss their mental health concerns. 2. Assessment and Diagnosis: During the consultation, the healthcare professional will conduct a thorough assessment to determine the individual’s mental health needs and whether an MHCP is appropriate. 3. Development of the MHCP: If deemed necessary, the healthcare professional will work with the individual to develop a personalised MHCP, outlining the recommended treatments and support services. 4. Implementation and Review: Once the MHCP is in place, the individual can begin accessing the recommended treatments and services. Regular reviews will be scheduled to monitor progress and make any necessary adjustments to the plan. In Conclusion: Mental Health Care Plans play a crucial role in supporting the mental well-being of individuals in Australia. By providing a structured framework for assessment, treatment, and support. MHCPs empower individuals to take control of their mental health journey and access the resources they need to thrive. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified healthcare professional. They can assist you in exploring the creation of a Mental Health Care Plan. Your mental health matters, and support is available to help you navigate your path to wellness. For mental health support, reach out to Three Seas Psychology today. Book a consultation with one of our experienced clinicians. Our team is committed to delivering compassionate and evidence-based care to assist you in achieving your mental health goals. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [5 Strategies for Managing Your Child's ADHD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-strategies-for-managing-your-childs-adhd/) **Published:** February 15, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## 5 Strategies for Managing Your Child’s ADHD ADHD is the single most common childhood ailment. And while popular press reports present it as little more than a minor annoyance—or even an altogether manufactured disorder—parents living with ADHD children know that it is very real. From forgetting everything, including basic hygiene, to constant complaints from teachers and peers, children with [ADHD](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/attention-deficit-disorder-add-or-adhd) face a number of challenges. They are more vulnerable to [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) and behavioural problems, and more likely to use drugs, engage in reckless behaviour, and have troubled romantic and platonic relationships. [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/) can help you and your child locate and implement effective coping strategies, while helping you process your feelings—which may include anger, frustration, resentment, sadness, and confusion. These five additional strategies can also help, and don’t require any special training or skill: ## Re frame Your Child’s Behaviour Whether it’s forgetting to do his homework, endlessly provoking her siblings, or constantly throwing tantrums, it’s easy to become frustrated and overwhelmed by your child’s behaviour. But children don’t behave badly on purpose. They behave badly because they are missing something they need, and this is even more true among children with ADHD. Next time you think you might lose it on your child, remind yourself that the problematic behaviour is not a choice; it’s the product of ADHD. Your job is to help your child find a solution, not punish him or her. ## Focus on Rewards Rewarding your child is more fun than punishing him, and it works better, too. Children with ADHD make mistakes because they lose control, not because they want to anger you. Give your child an incentive to make better choices by rewarding her when she does the right thing. A sticker-based reward chart, or a small daily reward for doing the right thing can both work wonders. ## Help Your Child Understand His or Her Brain Parents often avoid talking to their children about ADHD. Sometimes this is because they don’t know how or think their child is too young. Other times it’s because they worry that conversation will stigmatise the child or make her feel bad. But your child already knows, on some level, that he is different. Help him understand what’s going on by explaining that his brain processes things a bit differently. You can then use this as a springboard for discussion about how you can help him. If you need help getting the conversation started, a [family counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) can help. ## Stay Active Children with ADHD have more energy than other children, and will suffer immensely if they spend all day sitting in a classroom or in front of the television. They needs lots of breaks and lots of activity. Aim for at least 90 minutes of physical activity a day, and place your child in a school that encourages such activity. Don’t just throw your kid outside and tell her to exercise, though. Make it a family affair. Take up a sport together or go roller-skating. The goal should be to become more active as a group—not to ostracise your child and make him feel as though he has to to something different from the rest of the family. ## Look at the Role of Diet What your child eats matters. Children do not need and should not have caffeine, including in the form of sodas. Sugary snacks can also be a problem. This doesn’t mean you have to put your child on a restrictive diet; indeed, doing so can do more harm than good. But find ways to eat healthy meals as a family, and don’t buy the food that seems to most ignite your child’s ADHD. You might be surprised by how a few simple changes in diet can greatly improve your life. If you want further support, we have a range of therapists who have a wealth of experience in counselling families. You may also want to look at the [Australian ADHD website](https://www.adhdaustralia.org.au/) for further information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents **Tags:** ADHD, Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, counselling, family counselling, parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [5 Lifestyle Strategies for Better Sleep: Tips from Melbourne Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-lifestyle-strategies-for-better-sleep-tips-from-melbourne-psychologists/) **Published:** June 1, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## 5 Lifestyle Strategies for Better Sleep: Tips from Melbourne Psychologists If you’re experiencing insomnia, poor quality sleep, or other [sleep-related issues](https://www.sleephealthfoundation.org.au/) in Melbourne, consulting a psychologist or counselor specializing in psychological assessment is crucial. But if you’re short on time or motivation, don’t worry. This blog post will provide you with 5 lifestyle strategies for better sleep, with tips backed by expert advice from Melbourne psychologists. Take control of your sleep cycle and improve your overall well-being. 1. ## Reduce Caffeine and Sugar for Improved Sleep: Expert tips for better sleep If you find yourself dealing with insomnia, it’s crucial to avoid consuming caffeinated beverages such as tea, coffee, and sodas at least six hours before bedtime. Cutting out sugar from your diet can also be beneficial, as it provides a temporary energy boost that can lead to nightmares and disturbed sleep. Implementing these changes can be particularly helpful if you’re undergoing a psychological assessment to address your sleep issues. 2. ## Engage in Regular Exercise at the Right Time Exercise plays a significant role in boosting your energy levels and promoting better sleep. Engaging in regular physical activity releases endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals that can provide a temporary energy boost. However, it’s important to avoid exercising right before bed, as it may lead to difficulty falling asleep. Instead, aim to get plenty of exercise during the day, allowing your body to feel appropriately tired when it’s time for bed. This strategy is particularly relevant for individuals seeking counselors near them who can guide them through a comprehensive sleep improvement plan. 3. ## Establish a Healthy Sleep Schedule: Insights from our Psychologists Having a consistent sleep schedule is essential for maintaining healthy sleep patterns. Follow these tips to establish a healthy routine, especially if you’re covered by Medicare in Melbourne: - Wake up at the same time every day, even if you feel tired or didn’t get enough sleep the night before. Sleeping in can disrupt your ability to fall asleep the following night. - Keep daytime naps limited to twenty minutes, twice a day. Longer naps are more likely to interfere with your evening sleep. - Aim to go to bed around the same time each night. This helps your body develop a wind-down routine that facilitates easier sleep onset. - Avoid keeping your phone near your bed and resist the urge to check it if you wake up during the night. If necessary, consult with an online psychologist who can provide guidance on establishing healthy digital habits for better sleep. 4. ## Avoid Prolonged Wakefulness in Bed: Recommendations from Melbourne Psychologists It’s important for your body to associate your bed solely with sleep. If you’re unable to fall asleep within 30 minutes, it’s recommended to get out of bed and try again later. Staying in bed for extended periods without sleeping can create negative associations and perpetuate a cycle of tossing and turning. Similarly, in the morning, refrain from lying in bed awake while contemplating the day or looking out the window. Breaking this habit is crucial if you want to improve your sleep quality and seek effective solutions provided by online psychologists. 5. ## Effectively Manage Stress for Restful Sleep Stress is a significant contributor to sleep difficulties, particularly during nighttime. If you find yourself worrying about various aspects of your life, seeking counseling from a psychologist who specializes in psychological assessment can be highly beneficial. Additionally, consider incorporating these stress management strategies: - Repeat a calming mantra to yourself as you prepare to fall asleep. - Practice meditation twice a day to promote relaxation. - Engage in regular exercise, as physical activity can help alleviate stress. - Develop a proactive plan during your waking hours to effectively manage stress. If you’ve implemented these lifestyle strategies and still find yourself struggling with sleep issues, consider reaching out to [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) and counselors near you who offer [online sessions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/). They can provide the support and guidance you need to address your sleep. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [5 'Homework' Exercises to Get the Most Out of Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-homework-exercises-to-get-the-most-out-of-therapy/) **Published:** November 10, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## 5 ‘Homework’ Exercises to Get the Most Out of Therapy [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can change your life, but only insofar as you’re willing to let it. The truth is that an hour or two a week sitting in a therapist’s office talking about your problems is unlikely to change anything at all about your existence. It’s what happens in between sessions that matters most. Many good therapists and [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) give their clients specific homework assignments to encourage them to practice the skills they learn in therapy as part of their everyday lives. Read on to discover 5 ‘Homework’ exercises to get the most out of therapy or counselling sessions. ## Cultivate Mindfulness Mindfulness is the ability to live in the present moment, and research consistently shows that this skill can expedite the process of recovery while making everyday stress easier. Some strategies for cultivating mindfulness include: - Meditating for 10-20 minutes every day. - Slowing down and taking deep breaths for one minute every hour. - Taking time to ground yourself in your surroundings by noting where you are, how it feels, and what you’re doing a few times each day. - Doing a muscle relaxation exercise each day. ## Notice Your Automatic Thoughts A lifetime of stress teaches us all some bad skills. Whether you realize it or not, you probably have a number of automatic thoughts that undermine your wellness. Maybe you tell yourself your fat, or constantly reiterate that your significant other is going to leave you. Taking time to notice these automatic thoughts can help you understand how they harm you. Once a day, sit down and contemplate the most common negative thoughts you experience. Then consider an alternative, positive replacement. For instance, if you constantly tell yourself, “You’re a failure,” consider something like “You are trying your best and getting better every day” instead. These subtle changes in thinking can add up to big changes in your quality of life. ## Change Your Relationship(s) If one of the reasons you are in therapy is that your relationships are troubled, take every opportunity you can to change the way you relate to people. Every relationship problem requires at least two participants, so by changing your own behavior, you can steadily work toward changing the other person’s behavior, too. Some strategies to try include: - Commit to doing something, anything different in a troubled relationship. For instance, if your mother is needlessly intrusive and you’re not sure what to do, try calling her less, or only spending time with her when she is unobtrusive. - Say something nice to your significant other each day. - Commit to stopping all criticism of your children or spouse for at least a week. - Schedule a weekly date with your best friend, cousin, or another person who is a positive influence in your life. - Don’t forget about your relationship with your pets! Take your dog for a walk each day, or commit to 15 minutes of play time with your cat. ## Set Positive Goals You won’t get better if you’re not steadily setting, and striving for, specific goals. Sit down with your therapist and make a list of long and short-term goals. Then break these goals into actionable weekly, monthly, and daily steps. For instance, if yo want to lose weight, you might commit to giving up one soda each day for a week, then doing yoga one day a week the next week, then steadily increasing your exercise load until you’re running almost every day. Goals are achieved through lots of small steps, and by breaking daunting ambitions into manageable steps, you bring your dreams closer to reality. ## Stop Yourself From Automatically Reacting Life teaches us a number of skills, but sometimes those skills no longer serve us. You might have learned from your alcoholic father to constantly monitor other people for signs of anger. But maybe now, that fear affects your romantic relationships. Consider the ways you automatically react to things—with anger, fear, or aggression, for instance, then commit to stopping at least one automatic reaction a week. By steadily monitoring yourself, and thinking before you react, you slowly learn new skills that will serve you better. Our highly trained[ Client Connect Team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) can pair you with the right [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/) or counsellor for you. We’ll also be realeasing free mental health resources for you soon. So stay tuned! [wpdevart_like_box profile_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover_photo=”show” locale=”en_US”] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [3 Tips for Managing Hyperfocus](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/3-tips-for-managing-hyperfocus/) **Published:** June 24, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** In the dynamic landscape of mental health, certain topics gain traction due to their relevance and impact. This week, one of the top trending mental health keywords is “hyperfocus.” This term is particularly relevant in discussions surrounding [ADHD](https://www.verywellmind.com/hyperfocus-and-add-20464) and productivity, and it is essential to understand its implications, benefits, and challenges. ## What is Hyperfocus? Hyperfocus refers to an intense form of concentration that allows individuals to become deeply immersed in a task or activity, often to the point of losing awareness of time and surroundings. While hyperfocus can be a powerful tool for productivity and creativity, it is frequently associated with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). ## The Dual Nature of Hyperfocus Hyperfocus can have both positive and negative effects: Positive Aspects: 1\. Increased Productivity: Individuals can accomplish a significant amount of work in a short period, making hyperfocus a valuable asset in professional and academic settings. 2\. Enhanced Creativity: The deep immersion allows for innovative thinking and problem-solving. 3\. Mastery of Skills: Extended periods of focus can lead to the development of expertise in a particular area. Negative Aspects: 1\. Neglect of Other Responsibilities: While hyperfocused, individuals may ignore essential tasks, appointments, or social interactions. 2\. Exhaustion: The intense concentration can lead to mental fatigue and burnout. 3\. Difficulty in Shifting Tasks: Transitioning from a hyperfocused state to other activities can be challenging, leading to procrastination or disorganisation in other areas of life. ## Managing Hyperfocus For individuals, especially those with ADHD, learning to manage hyperfocus is crucial. Here are some strategies: 1\. Set Timers: Using alarms or timers can help break the cycle of hyperfocus, reminding individuals to take breaks and attend to other responsibilities. 2\. Create a Structured Schedule: Allocating specific time blocks for various tasks can ensure a balanced approach to work and leisure. 3\. Mindfulness and Awareness: Practicing mindfulness can increase awareness of hyperfocus patterns and aid in better managing transitions between tasks. ### Conclusion Understanding and harnessing hyperfocus can transform it from a potential challenge to a powerful advantage. By recognising its benefits and implementing strategies to manage its drawbacks, individuals can optimize their productivity and well-being. For those seeking assistance in managing hyperfocus, especially in the context of ADHD, the psychologists at The Three Seas are here to help. Our team includes therapists with deep experience in ADHD and the complexities of hyperfocus. We offer tailored strategies and support to help individuals harness the power of hyperfocus while mitigating its challenges. [Contact us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us") today to learn how we can assist you in achieving a balanced and productive life. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [R U OK? Every Day](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/r-u-ok-every-day/) **Published:** September 11, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## How Regular Conversations Can Change Lives At The Three Seas, we are passionate about fostering meaningful connections, not just on R U OK? Day, but every day of the year. Life is full of ups and downs, and the people we care about—our friends, family members, colleagues, and even acquaintances—are constantly navigating these changes. Sometimes, all it takes is one simple question: “Are you OK?” to make a significant impact on someone’s life. ### Why Ask R U OK? Regularly? While R U OK? Day, held on September 12th, serves as an important [National Day of Action](http://www.ruok.org.au/r-u-ok-day) to raise awareness about mental health, we encourage everyone to remember that meaningful conversations aren’t reserved for just one day. Mental health doesn’t follow a calendar, and people may be struggling in silence any day of the year. By checking in regularly, we create a safe and supportive environment where those around us feel more comfortable opening up. This helps break down the stigma that often surrounds mental health and promotes a culture of openness, trust, and genuine care. ### Building Trust Through Conversations When we ask someone how they’re doing and take the time to genuinely listen, we’re not just offering support—we’re building trust. Over time, these conversations help normalise discussing mental health, making it easier for people to seek help when they need it. Even if someone is doing well today, knowing they have someone who cares makes it easier for them to reach out when times get tough. ### What to Do When Someone Says They’re Not OK Sometimes, asking the question is just the beginning. If someone confides in you that they’re not OK, it’s important to be prepared to listen without judgment, offer your support, and encourage them to seek professional help if needed. This could be the turning point in helping them access the resources they need to feel better. At The Three Seas Psychology, we are here to support those going through tough times, offering a range of [services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/ "Mental Health Services") to help individuals and families navigate mental health challenges. Whether you need someone to talk to or you know someone who does, we encourage you to reach out. ### Make Every Day an Opportunity to Ask “R U OK?” Let’s make asking “R U OK?” a regular part of our interactions, not just on one day of the year. By checking in, showing we care, and being there for one another, we can create a community where mental health is openly discussed and supported, making a difference one conversation at a time. ### Need Support over and above “R U OK” Day? If you or someone you know needs help, don’t hesitate to contact us at The Three Seas Psychology. We offer compassionate, professional support to help you through life’s challenges. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Private Psychology: What’s the Difference?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/medicare-mental-health-check-in-vs-private-psychology-whats-the-difference/) **Published:** January 28, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** If you’re looking for mental health support under Medicare, it’s important to understand that not all services offer the same level of care, flexibility, or therapeutic depth. The Australian Government’s **Medicare Mental Health Check-In** service provides free, early-intervention support for people experiencing **mild or short-term emotional distress**. At **The Three Seas Psychology**, we provide **face-to-face psychological therapy in Melbourne** for **adults, adolescents, couples, and children** who require more personalised, relational, and ongoing care. This guide explains the difference between Medicare Mental Health Check-In services and private psychology, so you can choose the option that best fits your needs. ## What is the Medicare Mental Health Check-In? The **Medicare Mental Health Check-In** is a **free mental health service** funded by the Australian Government. It is designed to support people experiencing **mild or temporary emotional distress**, particularly as an early step before more intensive care. The service typically includes: - An initial assessment via the Medicare Mental Health phone service - Short-term, low-intensity psychological support - Telehealth sessions and/or self-guided digital programs - A structured, standardised therapy model, often CBT-based - A focus on early intervention and symptom management Because it is fully Medicare-funded, the service is designed to be **brief, standardised, and widely accessible**, rather than long-term or individually tailored. It is intended to **complement existing mental health services, not replace them**. ## What Does The Three Seas Psychology Offer? The Three Seas Psychology provides **ongoing psychological therapy** delivered by **fully registered psychologists** across Melbourne. Our psychologists undertake extensive postgraduate training and supervised clinical experience. This allows them to work effectively with **complex presentations**, developmental concerns, trauma, relationships, and long-standing mental health difficulties in **adults, adolescents, and children**. Our psychological care is: - Client-centred and relational - Tailored to your personal history, goals, and emotional needs - Delivered face-to-face (with telehealth available where appropriate) - Suitable for adults, adolescents, couples, and children - Focused on meaningful, sustainable change rather than short-term symptom relief ### Therapeutic Approaches We Use Rather than applying a one-size-fits-all model, therapy at The Three Seas is matched to the individual and their presenting concerns. Our clinicians draw from a range of evidence-based approaches, including: - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and treatment-focused CBT - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) - Schema Therapy - Interpersonal Therapy - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) - Play Therapy for children and adolescents Kim and the clinical team continue to refine and expand our therapeutic offerings to ensure care is developmentally appropriate, trauma-informed, and responsive to each client’s needs. ## Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Private Psychology Care ### Medicare Mental Health Check-In **Best suited for:** - Mild or short-term emotional distress - Early intervention or first-step mental health support - Adults comfortable with phone-based or digital therapy - People seeking free mental health support under Medicare **Considerations:** - Limited number of sessions - Less continuity with the same practitioner - Primarily phone-based or digital delivery - Standardised therapy model - Not designed for children, adolescents, trauma, or complex presentations ### The Three Seas Psychology (Private Psychology Care) **Best suited for:** - Ongoing anxiety, depression, trauma, or burnout - Relationship and couples counselling - Child and adolescent emotional or behavioural concerns - Eating disorders and complex mental health presentations - People seeking face-to-face psychologist care in Melbourne **Benefits:** - Ongoing work with the same psychologist - Access to multiple therapeutic approaches - In-person appointments across Melbourne locations - Immediate availability in many cases - No GP referral required ## Understanding Rebates and Payment Options While sessions at The Three Seas Psychology are privately paid, many clients are eligible for **rebates or third-party funding**, depending on their circumstances. These may include: - **Medicare rebates** with a Mental Health Treatment Plan from your GP - **Private health insurance** psychology rebates (depending on your cover) - **Third-party funding**, such as WorkCover, TAC, or other insurer-supported referrals Our team can help explain which rebate or funding pathways may apply to you and guide you through the process. ## Why Some People Move Beyond Medicare Check-In Services For many people, Medicare-funded early-intervention services are a helpful starting point. However, some find they need: - A stronger therapeutic relationship - More sessions than short-term programs allow - Face-to-face therapy rather than digital delivery - Support for children, adolescents, relationships, or trauma - Therapy that evolves as their needs change over time In these cases, **ongoing psychologist-led therapy** can offer the consistency, depth, and flexibility needed for meaningful progress. ## Not Sure Which Option Is Right for You? You don’t need to have everything figured out before reaching out. If you’re unsure whether the Medicare Mental Health Check-In is sufficient for your needs, or if you’re looking for **face-to-face psychological support in Melbourne** for yourself, your adolescent, or your child, we’re here to help. **Book an appointment** No referral required Immediate availability across Melbourne locations Work with a psychologist who understands you as a whole person — not just your symptoms. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [Australia’s New Porn Website Laws, What They Mean & When Porn Use Becomes Unhealthy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/porn-laws-australia-porn-addiction-help/) **Published:** March 10, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Australia is introducing new regulations that will require pornography websites to implement **age-verification systems** to prevent minors from accessing explicit material online. These laws are designed primarily to protect young people. However, the public discussion around pornography access is also prompting many adults to reflect on **their own relationship with porn**. For some people, pornography is simply a normal part of their sexual life. For others, it can gradually become something that feels **compulsive, difficult to control, or damaging to relationships**. At **The Three Seas Psychology**, we increasingly speak with individuals who feel their pornography use has become **unhealthy, distressing, or out of alignment with their values**. This article explains: - What the new porn website laws in Australia involve - How age verification is expected to work - Why these changes are prompting conversations about porn use - Signs pornography use may be becoming problematic - How therapy can help if porn use feels difficult to control ## What Are the New Porn Laws in Australia? Australia is introducing regulations that require pornography websites to implement **age-verification systems** before users can access explicit content. The goal is to prevent children and teenagers from viewing adult material online. Under the proposed approach, adult websites operating in Australia may need to confirm that users are over 18 before granting access. This is part of a broader effort to increase **online safety and accountability for digital platforms**. ## When Will the Porn Website Laws Start in Australia? Australia has been moving toward stronger online safety regulations in recent years, with government agencies exploring ways to enforce **age verification for adult content platforms**. While exact timelines and enforcement mechanisms may evolve, the direction of policy is clear: **pornography websites are likely to face stricter requirements to prevent minors accessing explicit content.** This reflects growing concern about **early exposure to pornography among young people** and its potential developmental impacts. ## How Will Porn Websites Verify Age? Age verification systems aim to confirm that users are adults before allowing access to explicit material. Possible verification methods include: - Government-issued ID checks - Digital identity verification services - Third-party age verification platforms - Secure verification tools that confirm age without storing personal data The intention is to **balance child safety with privacy protections for adults**. ## Why Are Governments Introducing These Restrictions? Research has shown that many young people encounter pornography **years before they fully understand sexuality, consent, or relationships**. Concerns raised by psychologists, educators, and policymakers include: - Unrealistic expectations about sex and relationships - Exposure to extreme or violent content - Confusion about consent and intimacy - Distorted views of bodies and sexual performance Age-verification laws are designed to **reduce early exposure to explicit material** and create safer online environments for children. ## Why Some Adults Are Reflecting on Their Porn Use For many adults, pornography is not inherently harmful. Some people consume it occasionally without it affecting their wellbeing. However, others begin to notice patterns that feel **increasingly difficult to manage**. Common concerns people bring to therapy include: - Spending more time viewing pornography than intended - Repeatedly trying to reduce use but struggling to stop - Porn interfering with work, sleep, or daily responsibilities - Reduced sexual interest in real-life partners - Secrecy, guilt, or shame about pornography use - Conflict within romantic relationships When these patterns become persistent or distressing, some individuals describe the experience as **porn addiction** or **compulsive pornography use**. ## Is Porn Addiction a Real Psychological Condition? The term **porn addiction** is widely used in everyday conversation, although clinicians often use more precise terms such as: - **Compulsive sexual behaviour** - **Problematic pornography use** These behaviours involve **repeated urges to view pornography that feel difficult to control**, even when the behaviour leads to distress or negative consequences. Not everyone who watches pornography develops these patterns. However, when the behaviour becomes compulsive, it can begin to resemble **other habit-forming behaviours such as gambling or excessive internet use**. ## Why Porn Can Be Difficult to Stop Watching For some people, pornography activates the brain’s **dopamine reward system**, which plays a role in motivation and habit formation. Over time this can lead to patterns such as: - Watching porn when feeling stressed, lonely, or bored - Developing automatic viewing habits - Escalating time spent searching for or viewing content - Strong urges when attempting to reduce or stop In these cases, pornography may start functioning as a **coping mechanism for emotional regulation** rather than simply a source of sexual stimulation. ## Signs Pornography Use May Be Becoming Unhealthy You may consider seeking support if pornography use is starting to affect your wellbeing, relationships, or daily functioning. Some common warning signs include: ### Increasing frequency or intensity You find yourself watching pornography more often or for longer periods than before. ### Difficulty controlling use You attempt to reduce or stop watching porn but repeatedly return to the behaviour. ### Relationship conflict Your partner may feel hurt, disconnected, or concerned about the secrecy surrounding porn use. ### Reduced sexual satisfaction Some people experience difficulty with arousal, performance, or intimacy with real-life partners. ### Emotional distress Feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, or loss of control can indicate the behaviour is no longer aligned with your values. ## Can Pornography Affect Relationships? Pornography can create tension in relationships when partners have **different expectations, boundaries, or values around porn use**. Common relationship concerns include: - Feeling emotionally disconnected from a partner - Arguments about secrecy or honesty - Comparisons with unrealistic sexual expectations - Reduced intimacy or sexual satisfaction These issues can sometimes be addressed through **individual therapy or couples therapy**, where partners can explore concerns in a supportive and constructive environment. ## How Therapy Can Help with Porn Addiction Many people feel embarrassed or ashamed discussing pornography with a psychologist, but therapy is a **confidential and non-judgemental space**. Treatment focuses on understanding **why the behaviour developed** and building healthier patterns. Therapy may explore factors such as: - Stress or emotional avoidance - Habit formation and behavioural conditioning - Loneliness or relationship difficulties - Anxiety, depression, or trauma - Difficulties with emotional regulation Evidence-based approaches may include: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Habit change and impulse regulation strategies - Emotional regulation skills - Relationship and intimacy work For many people, the goal is **not necessarily complete abstinence**, but developing a **healthier and more intentional relationship with sexual behaviour**. ## When to Consider Speaking to a Psychologist It may be helpful to speak with a psychologist if: - Pornography use feels compulsive or out of control - You feel stuck in a cycle of stopping and restarting - Porn use is affecting your mental health or relationships - You feel shame, secrecy, or distress about the behaviour Seeking support is not about judgement. It is about **gaining understanding, control, and alignment with your values**. ## Support for Porn Addiction at The Three Seas Psychology At **The Three Seas Psychology**, we provide confidential and evidence-based support for individuals experiencing: - Porn addiction or compulsive pornography use - Relationship concerns related to pornography - Sexual behaviour concerns - Shame, secrecy, or distress around porn use Our psychologists offer a **compassionate, non-judgemental approach** focused on helping you understand the behaviour and develop healthier patterns moving forward. If pornography use is beginning to affect your wellbeing or relationships, speaking with a psychologist can be a **constructive first step toward change**. ## Frequently Asked Questions Is watching porn unhealthy? For many adults, occasional pornography use is not harmful. Problems tend to arise when use becomes **compulsive, secretive, or begins affecting relationships or daily life**. What is considered porn addiction? Porn addiction generally refers to **repeated pornography use that feels difficult to control and leads to distress or life problems**. Why is porn so hard to stop watching? Pornography can activate the brain’s reward system and become tied to emotional coping habits, which can make it difficult to stop without support. Can therapy help with porn addiction? Yes. Psychological therapy can help individuals understand the underlying drivers of the behaviour and develop **healthier coping strategies and boundaries**. Do I need to stop watching porn completely? Not necessarily. Therapy often focuses on **developing healthier patterns and reducing compulsive behaviour**, rather than enforcing strict abstinence. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [Signs You May Be Stuck in a Trauma Response, According to Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-you-may-be-stuck-in-a-trauma-response-according-to-psychologists/) **Published:** February 24, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Trauma responses are not always obvious. Many people associate trauma with extreme events, yet psychological trauma can develop from ongoing stress, childhood experiences, medical events, or relational harm. When trauma responses persist, the nervous system can remain stuck in survival mode, even when danger is no longer present. Understanding these patterns is often the first step toward healing. ## The Nervous System and Trauma When we experience threat, the nervous system activates survival responses automatically. These are not choices. They are protective mechanisms designed to keep us safe. The four most recognised trauma responses are: - Fight - Flight - Freeze - Fawn Each presents differently in daily life. ## Fight Response The fight response prepares the body to confront danger. In modern settings, it can appear as: - Irritability or anger outbursts - Low frustration tolerance - Argumentative communication - Feeling constantly “on edge” - Difficulty relaxing Clients often report feeling overwhelmed by emotional intensity they cannot easily regulate. ## Flight Response Flight is the urge to escape threat. Psychologically, this can look like: - Chronic busyness or overworking - Avoidance of emotions - Perfectionism - Restlessness - Difficulty slowing down Many high-functioning professionals sit in flight mode without realising their productivity is anxiety-driven. ## Freeze Response Freeze occurs when the nervous system perceives escape or confrontation as impossible. Common signs include: - Emotional numbness - Dissociation - Shutdown during conflict - Low motivation - Feeling disconnected from self or others Clients often describe this as feeling “stuck” or unable to act despite wanting change. ## Fawn Response Fawn involves appeasing others to maintain safety. This response is strongly linked to relational trauma. It may appear as: - People-pleasing - Difficulty setting boundaries - Fear of disappointing others - Over-apologising - Prioritising others’ needs over your own Many individuals in fawn mode struggle with identity and self-worth. ## How Trauma Responses Affect Daily Life When survival responses become chronic, they can impact: - Relationships - Work performance - Emotional regulation - Sleep - Physical health People may not realise trauma is driving their patterns, instead believing: - “I’m just anxious” - “I’m bad at relationships” - “I’m lazy or unmotivated” Therapy helps reframe these experiences through a trauma-informed lens. ## How Therapy Helps Regulate Trauma Responses Treatment focuses on nervous system safety before deep processing. Approaches may include: - Psychoeducation - Somatic regulation strategies - EMDR - Trauma-focused CBT - Schema therapy - Parts work Clients learn to recognise triggers, regulate physiological responses, and build emotional tolerance. ## Signs It May Be Time to Seek Support You may benefit from trauma-informed therapy if you notice: - Persistent hypervigilance - Emotional shutdown - Repeated relational conflict - Panic responses without clear cause - Avoidance of reminders of past events Healing trauma is not about erasing the past, but helping the nervous system recognise that the present is safe. **Categories:** General Health --- ### [Navigating Perimenopause — Mental Health, Mood Swings and What You Can Do](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/navigating-perimenopause-mental-health-mood-swings-and-what-you-can-do/) **Published:** March 31, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Perimenopause, the transitional phase leading up to menopause, can bring about a range of physical and emotional changes. While symptoms like hot flushes and irregular periods are widely known, the mental health impacts of perimenopause are often overlooked. Anxiety, depression, mood swings, irritability, and brain fog are all common experiences during this time. At The Three Seas Psychology, we believe that understanding these changes is the first step toward managing them effectively. ## Understanding the Link Between Perimenopause and Mental Health Hormonal fluctuations—particularly declines in estrogen—can affect neurotransmitters in the brain such as serotonin and dopamine, which are key to regulating mood. This can lead to a heightened risk of: - **Perimenopause depression** - **Perimenopause anxiety** - **Mood swings and irritability** - **Fatigue and sleep disturbances** - **Perimenopause brain fog** These symptoms may come and go or persist for extended periods, impacting quality of life, relationships, and work performance. ### **Signs You Might Be Experiencing Mental Health Changes Due to Perimenopause** If you’re in your 40s or early 50s and experiencing the following symptoms, perimenopause may be a contributing factor: - Persistent low mood or unexplained sadness - Increased anxiety or [panic attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-panic-attacks-and-anxiety-attacks-in-melbourne/ "Understanding Panic Attacks and Anxiety Attacks in Melbourne") - Sudden mood changes or irritability - Difficulty concentrating or memory issues (brain fog) - Feelings of isolation or loneliness - Low motivation or energy levels ### **How to Support Your Mental Health During Perimenopause** **1. Talk to a Mental Health Professional** Speaking with a psychologist can help you understand what you’re experiencing and develop strategies to cope. **2. Consider Lifestyle Changes** Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and good sleep hygiene can significantly impact mood and energy levels. Reducing caffeine and alcohol intake can also be beneficial. **3. Build a Support Network** Connecting with friends, support groups, or a partner can ease feelings of loneliness or irritability. Sharing your experience with others can be incredibly validating. **4. Explore Treatment Options** In some cases, hormonal therapy or medication may be appropriate. Always consult with your GP or endocrinologist before starting any treatment. ### **What Makes This Phase Unique?** Unlike other life transitions, perimenopause can feel particularly unpredictable. One day you may feel fine, and the next you may be overwhelmed with sadness or anxiety. Understanding that these changes are biologically driven can help reduce self-blame and open the door to compassionate care. --- **Resources for Further Support** - [Australasian Menopause Society](https://www.menopause.org.au/) - [Healthdirect Australia](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/) - [Beyond Blue](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/) --- **Take Our Self-Reflection Checklist** Are you wondering if your mood changes might be linked to perimenopause? Use our self-reflection checklist below to explore how you’re feeling and consider your next steps. This checklist is informed by resources from the [Australasian Menopause Society](https://www.menopause.org.au) and Beyond Blue. **Self-Reflection Questions:** - Have I been feeling more anxious or irritable than usual? - Have I experienced sudden mood swings that feel out of character? - Do I have trouble concentrating or remembering things? - Have I noticed a drop in my motivation or energy levels? - Am I feeling persistently low, tearful, or emotionally overwhelmed? - Do I find myself withdrawing from social activities or relationships? - Have I been experiencing difficulty sleeping or frequent fatigue? If you answered “yes” to several of these questions, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional. The Three Seas Psychology is here to support you during this transitional stage. Mental health during perimenopause deserves just as much attention as physical symptoms. If you’re experiencing emotional challenges, know that you’re not alone—and support is available. The Three Seas Psychology is here to help you navigate this transformative stage of life with clarity, compassion, and confidence. --- *If you found this article helpful, consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. Or get in touch with our friendly team to find the right psychologist for you.* **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Understanding Anxiety. Symptoms, Causes and Evidence‑Based Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-anxiety-symptoms-causes-and-evidence‑based-support/) **Published:** January 31, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people seek psychological support. It can affect children, adolescents and adults, and may show up differently across life stages. While anxiety is a normal human response to stress or perceived threat, it can become overwhelming when it interferes with daily life, relationships, work, or physical health. At **The Three Seas Psychology**, we regularly support people experiencing anxiety in its many forms. This article explains what anxiety is, how it can present, and how evidence‑based psychological therapy can help. ## What Is Anxiety? Anxiety is the body and mind’s natural alarm system. It helps us anticipate danger and prepare for challenges. When functioning well, anxiety can be motivating and protective. However, anxiety becomes problematic when the alarm system stays switched on for too long, activates too easily, or responds to situations that are not genuinely threatening. Problematic anxiety is not a personal weakness or failure. It is a nervous system response shaped by biology, life experiences, stressors, and patterns of thinking and relating. ## Common Symptoms of Anxiety Anxiety can affect people emotionally, cognitively, physically and behaviourally. Symptoms vary between individuals and may fluctuate over time. **Emotional symptoms may include:** - Persistent worry or fear - Feeling on edge, tense or overwhelmed - Irritability or emotional sensitivity **Cognitive symptoms may include:** - Racing or intrusive thoughts - Difficulty concentrating - Catastrophic thinking or over‑anticipating negative outcomes **Physical symptoms may include:** - Tight chest or shortness of breath - Increased heart rate or palpitations - Muscle tension, headaches or jaw clenching - Gastrointestinal discomfort or nausea - Fatigue or disrupted sleep **Behavioural patterns may include:** - Avoidance of certain situations, places or people - Reassurance‑seeking - Over‑preparing or procrastination - Social withdrawal ## Types of Anxiety Presentations Anxiety is an umbrella term that includes several common presentations: - **Generalised Anxiety** – persistent, excessive worry across multiple areas of life - **Social Anxiety** – fear of judgment, embarrassment or rejection in social or performance situations - **Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder** – sudden surges of intense fear with physical symptoms - **Health Anxiety** – ongoing fear about health, illness or bodily sensations - **Specific Phobias** – intense fear of particular objects or situations - **Anxiety related to trauma or chronic stress** Anxiety can also co‑occur with depression, burnout, chronic pain, neurodiversity, or physical health conditions. ## What Causes Anxiety? Anxiety usually develops through a combination of factors rather than one single cause. These may include: - Genetic or biological vulnerability - Early life experiences or attachment patterns - Trauma or adverse experiences - Ongoing stress, burnout or life transitions - Perfectionism, high self‑expectations or people‑pleasing tendencies - Chronic illness or pain Understanding *how* anxiety developed is often an important part of therapy, as it allows treatment to be tailored to the individual rather than just addressing surface symptoms. ## How Psychology Can Help With Anxiety Psychological therapy provides a safe and structured space to understand anxiety and develop new ways of responding to it. At The Three Seas Psychology, our clinicians work collaboratively with clients using evidence‑based approaches that are adapted to each person’s needs. Depending on the individual, therapy for anxiety may include: - Identifying and shifting unhelpful thinking patterns - Learning nervous system regulation and grounding strategies - Gradual exposure to avoided situations - Developing emotional awareness and tolerance - Exploring relational patterns and attachment themes - Processing past experiences that contribute to anxiety - Strengthening self‑compassion and internal safety We work with adults, couples, children and adolescents, recognising that anxiety often shows up differently at different stages of life. ## Anxiety in Children and Adolescents Children and adolescents may not always have the language to describe anxiety. Instead, it may appear as: - Frequent stomach aches or headaches - School refusal or academic avoidance - Emotional outbursts or withdrawal - Sleep difficulties - Excessive reassurance‑seeking from caregivers Early support can help young people develop emotional regulation skills and prevent anxiety patterns from becoming more entrenched over time. Our clinicians work closely with families when supporting children and adolescents. ## When to Seek Support You may benefit from professional support if anxiety: - Persists for weeks or months - Interferes with work, study or relationships - Leads to avoidance or restriction of life activities - Feels unmanageable despite self‑help strategies Seeking help early can reduce distress and improve long‑term outcomes. ## Medicare and Rebate Options Psychological support at The Three Seas Psychology may be accessed through several pathways, including: - **Medicare Mental Health Treatment Plans** (GP referral required) - **Private health insurance rebates** (depending on your cover) - **Third‑party funding**, such as WorkCover or TAC, where applicable We also provide information to help clients understand the difference between brief early‑intervention services and ongoing psychological therapy, so they can choose the level of support that best meets their needs. ## Anxiety Support at The Three Seas Psychology At The Three Seas Psychology, we provide face‑to‑face psychological therapy across our Melbourne locations. Our approach is relational, evidence‑based and tailored to the whole person — not just the symptoms. If anxiety is impacting your life or the life of someone you care about, support is available. ### Related Support & Services If you’re seeking further information or support, the following pages may be helpful: - [**Mental Health Care Plans**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-care-plan-melbourne/ "Mental Health Care Plan Melbourne") Learn how a GP Mental Health Treatment Plan can help you access structured psychological support and Medicare rebates. - [**Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Ongoing Therapy**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-mental-health-check-in-vs-ongoing-psychology-support/ "Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Ongoing Psychology Support") Understand the difference between brief early-intervention services and ongoing psychological therapy, and which option may best suit your needs. - [**Child & Adolescent Psychology**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-in-children/ "Anxiety in Children") Explore how anxiety can present in children and adolescents, and how early psychological support can help young people build emotional regulation and resilience. **To learn more or make an enquiry, contact The Three Seas Psychology today.** *This article is intended for general informational purposes and does not replace individual psychological assessment or treatment.* **Categories:** General Health --- ### [When I Asked ChatGPT to Be My Therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/when-i-asked-chatgpt-to-be-my-therapist/) **Published:** September 11, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Recently, I did something unusual. Instead of booking a session with a therapist, I opened ChatGPT and asked it to help me make sense of my fear of flying. Not because I thought AI could replace a human, but because I was curious and a little desperate to understand why turbulence feels like the end of the world for me. To my surprise, it helped. [ChatGPT](https://chatgpt.com/) gave me language for things I had never been able to explain. It drew threads between turbulence and the unpredictability of my childhood: a dad who could be laughing one moment and erupting in anger the next; a mum who was warm and comforting most of the time, but in the big moments of fear, was overwhelmed herself. It helped me see why, in those terrifying mid-air jolts, I don’t just feel scared of planes, I feel like a child again, unprotected, waiting for disaster. **My Story** I didn’t grow up with a constant fear of flying. As a teen, I was fine and felw over 70 times. The fear only began after a train derailment when I was 21. In that moment, I watched my mum fling herself to protect my younger sister and I understood why — she was the youngest — but I was left exposed. It echoed something I’d felt before: when danger comes, I’m not the one who gets shielded. There were other moments too. Being tricked onto a rollercoaster as a little girl, screaming in terror while my dad laughed and enjoyed himself. Suddenly witnessing him lose the plot at home when I was 10, his eyes with a firey rage I had never seen before, while my mum ran and I was left in the middle of the chaos. Those moments left their mark. And when the plane dropped and shook over the Indian Ocean in 2024 — turbulence so relentless I was sure we’d plunge into the water — all those old echoes came roaring back. ## **What ChatGPT Did Well** • **Clarity:** It helped me connect the dots between my history and my fear of flying. • **Language:** It gave me words for fears that had always felt unexplainable. • **Accessibility:** It was there instantly, no waiting list, no diary juggling. • **Insight:** It reminded me what it feels like to finally *have a story that makes sense of your fear*. ## **What ChatGPT Missed** But here’s the truth: AI isn’t therapy. It can’t be. • It doesn’t pause when something hits hard. It can’t look me in the eye and say, *“That must have been terrifying.”* • It over-links. Give it a handful of memories and it will weave them into a grand theory. Sometimes I just wanted it to say, *“Yes, turbulence is scary,”* not pull apart my entire childhood. • Most importantly, it can’t *contain*. Therapy isn’t just about insight. It’s about another nervous system sitting with yours, helping you feel safe enough to explore what hurts. AI can give words, but not presence. ### **What I Learned (As a Client, and as a Therapist)** Using ChatGPT this way was strangely validating. I saw myself reflected back in ways I hadn’t expected. But the biggest lesson wasn’t about me as the client — it was about me as a therapist. It reminded me that what matters most in therapy isn’t clever interpretations or neat formulations. It’s the ability to sit with someone in their deepest fear, without rushing, without dismissing, without overcomplicating. To witness and hold them in that raw place. That’s what was missing with AI, and that’s what I want to make sure I never miss for my own clients. ### **The Takeaway** ChatGPT gave me insight and clarity, and for that I’m grateful. But it also left me cold. Because therapy isn’t just about words; it’s about being witnessed and contained by another human being. AI can inform, reflect, and even comfort in its own way. But healing still belongs to humans — to the warmth of someone who will sit with you in the turbulence and not look away. Author: [Misha Karipidis ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/michelle-misha-karipidis/ "MICHELLE (MISHA) KARIPIDIS – CBD, Fitzroy North & Richmond")AAPI Psychologist BPsychSc (Hons) | MProfPsychPrac **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [The Psychology of Infidelity](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-psychology-of-infidelity/) **Published:** July 24, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Understanding Why People Cheat and How to Heal Following recent headlines involving the **CEO of Astronomer** caught in a public act of infidelity at a **Coldplay concert**, many people are left asking: Why do people cheat? What drives someone in a position of power or prestige — or in any relationship — to betray their partner? At The Three Seas Psychology, we see moments like these as opportunities for reflection. While media stories often sensationalise infidelity, psychology offers deeper insight into the emotional and relational factors at play. ## What Is Infidelity? Infidelity is more than just a physical affair. It can also be emotional, digital or psychological. At its core, it involves a breach of trust. It disrupts the foundation of emotional security in a relationship, often triggering feelings of betrayal, confusion and grief. ## Why Do People Cheat? A Psychological Perspective There is no single reason for infidelity. It is usually the result of a complex mix of personal history, relationship dynamics and situational factors. Here are some common explanations: ## 1. Attachment Styles People with avoidant or anxious attachment styles may find emotional intimacy difficult. An anxious partner might cheat out of fear of abandonment, while someone with an avoidant style may use infidelity to create distance or regain a sense of control. ## 2. Low Self-Esteem or Need for Validation Cheating can serve as a short-term boost to a person’s self-worth. Being desired by someone else may provide temporary validation, especially if the individual feels unseen or unappreciated in other areas of their life. ## 3. Power and Opportunity Research suggests that people in positions of power are more likely to cheat. This may be due to increased opportunity, reduced fear of consequences or a sense of entitlement. Public figures may also be insulated from accountability, which can influence decision-making. ## 4. Emotional Disconnection in the Relationship When emotional needs are neglected over time, one partner may seek connection elsewhere. This is not always premeditated, but rather a response to long-standing feelings of loneliness or frustration. ## 5. Impulsivity and Risk-Seeking Behaviour Some people are more prone to acting on impulse or seeking novelty. For them, the secrecy or excitement of infidelity can feel like a form of escape, even if it leads to significant consequences. ### The Emotional Impact of Infidelity For the person who has been betrayed, the emotional effects of infidelity can be profound. Many experience: - Shock and disbelief - Anger and resentment - Anxiety or panic - Depression or emotional numbness - Intrusive thoughts and difficulty sleeping These reactions can mirror symptoms of trauma, which is why infidelity is often viewed through a mental health lens as well as a relational one. ### Is It Possible to Recover? Yes, but healing from infidelity requires time, commitment and often professional support. Couples who move forward successfully tend to: - Rebuild emotional safety through honest communication - Attend couples therapy to understand underlying dynamics - Engage in individual therapy to process grief, guilt or shame - Create new agreements and boundaries based on shared values At The Three Seas Psychology, our experienced therapists support both individuals and couples through the healing process. Whether you are dealing with the aftermath of betrayal or are struggling with your own actions, support is available. **Final Thoughts** The incident involving the Astronomer CEO may soon be forgotten in the news cycle, but the emotional pain of infidelity is a reality many people face. If you are affected by a breach of trust, you are not alone — and help is within reach. **Categories:** Blog, Couples Counselling --- ### [What to Do When Your Kids Won't Sleep in Their Own Rooms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/night-time-fights-with-kids-what-to-do-when-your-kids-wont-sleep-in-their-own-rooms/) **Published:** February 29, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** What to Do When Your Kids Won’t Sleep in Their Own Rooms. “I had a bad dream! Can I sleep with you?” It’s the siren song of children across the globe, much to the chagrin of countless parents. Parents who give in find themselves sacrificing their privacy for months or even years. Parents who hold firm must listen to endless sobs and worry that they are dooming their children to years of [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) to recover from the whole experience. There’s a better way, but it’s not always easy. Here’s what you need to know about children who won’t sleep in their own rooms. ## Why Won’t My Child Sleep in His Room? Parents are quick to dismiss annoying behaviour by children as deliberate or manipulative ploys. The truth is that, until the age of about 8, children simply do not have the intellectual or psychological wherewithal to be manipulative. And even then, their behaviour usually has to do with attempting to get their needs met—not a desire to manipulate you. For most of human history, children have slept in the same room as their parents. Infants typically slept in the same bed, while children normally slept in a small hut or home with parents only a few feet away. The way we do things now is a radical departure from how humans have evolved to sleep, so it’s no wonder that children struggle with it. Before you do anything, know this: your child can’t sleep in her own room because she is reacting to centuries of evolutionary heritage, not because she wants to be naughty or manipulative. Ultimately, there are two reasons children won’t sleep in their own rooms, and for most children, both factors are an issue: - Bedtime is a time for closeness and comfort, and children like being in contact with their parents. Your child’s desire to sleep with you is a sign that he or she has a healthy attachment to you. In other words, if your child keeps you up at night, it means you’ve done something right—hard as that may be to believe! - Night-time is scary. Ghosts and goblins, shadows and noises, and very real fears about burglars can keep children up all night. It’s easy to dismiss these fears, but children cannot. Think of the time you’ve been most afraid in your entire life. Odds are good that is what your child feels every time he or she goes to sleep. Consider this next time you find yourself getting angry about your child’s inability to sleep alone. ## Can Therapy Help? Refusing to sleep alone is developmentally normal for children under two, and children may continue to struggle through eight or nine. Thereafter, your child may need help. Additionally, consider [children counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) if: - Your child has extreme and unreasonable fears that do not relent. - Your child has recently experienced a trauma. - Your child shows symptoms of anxiety or [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/). - You have recently gotten divorced. - There is violence or verbal abuse in the family. ## A Plan for Independent Sleeping The key to getting your child to sleep alone involves three separate components: 1. Create a sleeping space that feels safe. Allow your child to remodel his or her room, and remove anything scary, such as a lamp that casts a creepy shadow. Install a quality night light and a white noise machine. 2. Show your child he or she can trust you. Do not lock the door to your room, and do not banish him or her from your room. Instead, keep bedtime rituals calm, loving, and full of reassurance. 3. Gradually move your child back into his or her room. This can take weeks or even months. Begin by asking him or her to sleep in the room alone for brief periods—10 or 15 minutes—and check on her in between these intervals. Gradually increase the time between checks until your child is successfully falling asleep alone. If you’re still having trouble after three months of trying, consider consulting a counsellor. At The Three Seas, we provide a range of counseling services including [emdr therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/), [psychoanalytic therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalysis-psychodynamic-therapy/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Parenting, General Health **Tags:** counsellor, parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [Christian Marriage Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/christian-marriage-counselling/) **Published:** June 24, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Five Reasons to Consider Christian [Marriage Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) [Sixty-one percent of Australians](http://www.christianpost.com/news/christianity-on-the-decline-in-australia-eastern-faiths-increasing-77018/) identify as Christian, making it the country’s dominant religion. Though not all Christians attend church regularly or even embrace everything their religion teaches, most Christians find their faith to be a source of immense comfort, particularly in the midst of life’s challenges. Three Seas does not discriminate on the grounds of religious beliefs, and we cater to people from all walks of life and all faiths, including atheists and agnostics. But we’ve found that Christians often benefit from a Christian perspective in [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), so if you’re hoping for therapy that draws upon your faith, we’re happy to ensure you get what you need. ### It Supports Your Values Good therapy always supports your values, but if faith is an important part of your life, it helps to have a therapist or [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) who “gets” it. Christian counselling relies on proven science but also draws upon the principles in both the Bible and Christian tradition. For instance, if you keep losing your temper with your spouse, a Christian counsellor might discuss with you how Jesus told believers to turn the other cheek—not lash out in anger. If you struggle to find purpose in your life or are overwhelmed by greed, your counselor might provide wisdom from scripture. When you seek Christian counselling, your counsellor will challenge you to live up to the best of your faith. You’ll also get to rest easy knowing that your therapist will never advise you to do something that disregards your values. ### It Offers Another Perspective The role of a good therapist is not to give you advice or tell you what to do. Indeed, in traditional therapy, this approach can actually cause harm. For example, if your counsellor tells you to try a specific strategy with your spouse, and that strategy fails, you could end up blaming your spouse. With Christian counselling, though, your counsellor will make recommendations based on your religious faith. This can deepen the perspective that therapy provides, offering you real, actionable solutions for everyday problems. And it means that, if a solution fails, you’ll be more likely to consider why it failed, rather than blaming your counsellor or your partner. ### It Can Deepen Your Relationship If a marriage is nothing but living together and sharing bills, it holds little meaning, especially when the going gets tough—or the bills don’t get paid. But for Christians, marriage is a sacred commitment made to your spouse, and to God. Christian couples counselling helps you renew this commitment, and reminds you that marriage is about more than just the challenges of today; it’s about carving out a future together, both for this life and the next. This approach can deepen your relationship, solidify your will to fight for your marriage, and give you and your spouse hope that things really can get better. ### It Can Deepen Your Faith Christianity is more than just a cultural label; it’s a deep and lasting affiliation. Committing to Christianity gives you every reason to want to deepen your faith, and that’s precisely what Christian counseling can help you achieve. Through counselling, you may learn things about your faith you never know. You’ll be encouraged to think more deeply and substantively about your faith, and you’ll have plenty of opportunities to discuss your beliefs with your spouse. This can help clarify your values, encourage you to embrace faith, and infuse your life with a deep and abiding sense of purpose. Research consistently shows that people of faith are happier and healthier, so deepening your faith is anything but trivial. ### It Gives You a Shared Pursuit Clients often come into our offices complaining that they have nothing in common, nothing to talk about, nothing to do together, and no fun. This is clearly a poor recipe for a happy relationship! When you embrace Christian counselling, though, that can all change. Your therapy sessions give you plenty to explore—both from the world of psychology and within the confines of your faith. You may find that counselling encourages you to become more active in your church, participate in more activities together, and sit down and really talk about your shared values and religious faith. Three Seas Counselling embraces the value of all forms of religious faith, and we’ll never proselytize to you. We will, however, support you on your Christian journey, because we know this journey can lead down a road toward longer-lasting, deeper love. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Couples and Families --- ### [Olympic Games Paris 2024 and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/olympic-games-paris-2024-and-mental-health/) **Published:** August 5, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Olympic Games Paris 2024 and the Championing of Mental Health for Athletes and Fans Alike As the world watches the Olympic Games Paris 2024, there is huge excitement not just for the thrilling displays of athletic prowess but also for the inspiring stories of resilience and perseverance. While the spotlight often shines on physical achievements, an equally important narrative is emerging: the crucial role of mental health in sports. At The Three Seas Psychology, we recognise the importance of this conversation and how it impacts both athletes and everyone else alike. ## The Pressure of the Olympics The Olympics represent the pinnacle of athletic competition, bringing together the best athletes from around the globe. With this honour comes immense pressure to perform flawlessly on the world stage. Athletes face rigorous training schedules, high expectations from their countries, and the weight of their personal dreams. This intense environment can lead to significant mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, and burnout. High-profile athletes like [Simone Biles](https://edition.cnn.com/2024/08/03/sport/simone-biles-rebeca-andrade-vault-final-paris-olympics-spt-intl/index.html#:~:text=Biles%2C%20who%20has%20talked%20about,work%20in%2C%20it's%20paid%20off.), Naomi Osaka, and Michael Phelps have bravely shared their mental health struggles, bringing much-needed attention to the issue. Their stories highlight that even the most successful athletes are not immune to mental health challenges, and their openness has sparked a global conversation about the importance of mental well-being in sports. ## Initiatives and Support Systems Olympics 2024 Recognising these challenges, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and other sports organisations have taken significant steps to support athletes’ mental health. For Paris 2024, various mental health programs and resources are available to athletes, ensuring they have access to the support they need. These initiatives include mental health hotlines, on-site counsellors, and workshops on stress management and resilience. By prioritising mental health, the IOC is setting a positive example for other sports organisations and events worldwide. This proactive approach aims to create a healthier, more supportive environment for athletes, helping them achieve their best both on and off the field. ## The Role of Mental Health Professionals Sports psychologists and mental health professionals play a pivotal role in preparing athletes for the Olympics. They help athletes manage the psychological aspects of competition, such as coping with pressure, building confidence, and maintaining focus. Insights from mental health professionals reveal that addressing mental health is not just about preventing issues but also about optimising performance. Athletes who feel mentally strong are more likely to perform at their best, highlighting the integral connection between mental health and athletic success. ## Impact on Olympic Fans and the General Public The Olympics also have a profound impact on fans and the general public. Watching athletes overcome obstacles and achieve greatness can be incredibly inspiring, motivating individuals to pursue their own goals with renewed vigour. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that the pressure to emulate these successes can sometimes lead to negative mental health effects, such as stress and low self-esteem. By promoting a balanced view of success and emphasising the importance of [mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-physical-symptoms-due-mental-health-issues/ "5 Physical Symptoms That Could Be Due to Mental Health Issues"), we can help fans enjoy the Olympics in a healthy and supportive way. The stories of athletes who prioritise their mental well-being can serve as powerful reminders that mental health is a critical component of overall success. ## Personal Stories and Testimonials Personal stories and testimonials from athletes who have triumphed over mental health challenges offer valuable insights and inspiration. For example, Michael Phelps has openly discussed his battles with depression and how seeking help transformed his life. Similarly, Simone Biles’ decision to prioritize her mental health during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics resonated with many, highlighting the importance of self-care and mental resilience. These stories remind us that mental health struggles are a part of the human experience, even for elite athletes. By sharing their journeys, these athletes help break down the stigma surrounding mental health and encourage others to seek support when needed. ## The Future of Mental Health in Sports The evolving landscape of mental health in sports is promising, with the Paris 2024 Olympics poised to set new standards. The increased focus on mental health initiatives and support systems marks a significant step forward in promoting well-being for athletes. This legacy will likely influence future sporting events, encouraging a more holistic approach to athlete care that includes mental, emotional, and physical health. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, don’t hesitate to seek support. At The Three Seas Psychology, we offer comprehensive mental health services to help you achieve your best, both mentally and physically. We invite you to share your thoughts on the topic in the comments below. How do you think mental health can be better supported in sports? Join the conversation and help spread awareness about the importance of mental health in the athletic community by sharing this article on social media. Together, we can make a difference. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How to Manage Your Post-Holiday Blues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-manage-your-post-holiday-blues/) **Published:** January 13, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## How to Manage Your Post-Holiday Blues Do you find yourself getting worked up into a frenzy every Easter or Christmas, endlessly decorating and buying gifts, only to feel a sense of depression or disappointment just after? When you get excited about a big event, it’s natural to feel a little disappointed when you have to return to the challenges and disappointments of daily existence. The good news is that a post-holiday drop in your mood isn’t unusual, and does not mean there is anything wrong with you. If your drop lasts more than a few days, leaves you feeling suicidal, or greatly interferes with your ability to work or care for yourself, it could be depression, not the post-holiday blues. Otherwise, try the following tips to get back on track. ## Schedule Something Fun Part of the reason the post-holiday season is so disappointing is that you’ve spent a month or more looking froward to a major event. But excitement isn’t just for the holidays; happy people are able to find things to be excited about all year. Schedule something you know you’ll love doing—a brief vacation, a shopping trip, a spa visit with a beloved friend—for shortly after the holiday, so you know you have something to look forward to. ## Manage How You Approach the Holidays Some people experience a post-holiday drop because of the choices they make in the prelude to the holidays. From spending too much money to fighting with loved ones, stress can feel unbearable when there’s not a holiday around to cushion it. Pay attention to the way you structure and manage your holidays and consider whether there is anything you can or should change about the way you do holidays next year. ## Spend Time With Loved Ones The holidays help us feel close to those we love the most, but when they return home at the end of the season, it’s easy to feel lonely. Depression and misery thrive in isolation, so schedule some time with the people you love the most—even if it’s just a quick Skype date. ## Practice Good Self-Care Self-care, as the name implies, is the art of caring for yourself. Many people neglect self-care during the holiday season, spending too much, eating too little, and not getting nearly enough sleep. Now’s the time to change that. Some steps toward self-care that can help you feel better now include: - Drinking enough water; drink a glass right now if you’re feeling bad. - Eating a healthy diet rich in protein and vegetables. - Drinking small quantities of caffeine, which has been shown to improve cognition and mental health. - Getting plenty of sleep; take a nap if you feel overwhelmed right now. - Doing things that make you feel happy and peaceful, such as exercising or writing in a journal. ## Know When to Seek Help Sometimes depression—particularly seasonal depression—masquerades as the post-holiday blues. If you feel bad for more than a few days, that may be what’s going on. Some other [warning signs of depression](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/depression) include: - Feelings of hopelessness - Being unable to enjoy once-beloved activities - Lack of motivation - Trouble sleeping - Changes in app - Unexplained muscle aches, stomach pain, or headaches - Feeling helpless in the face of your psychological distress visit a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). - Difficulty feeling affectionate toward loved ones - Feeling unable to do things that might help, such as eat a healthy meal - Trouble in marriage seek [marraige counsellors](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including depression treatment, [insomnia treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Low Libido? Five Strategies for Getting it Back](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/low-libido-five-strategies-for-getting-it-back/) **Published:** February 18, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Low Libido? Five Strategies for Getting it Back Low Libido? We’ve put together some strategies that you can try which might improve your libido & sex life. Sex is the spice of life. It gives you something to look forward to, solidifies your intimate connection with your partner, and helps you feel good about your body. But according to Australia’s largest sex and sexuality survey ever, many people struggle with a low libido. They want to want sex, but they can’t bring themselves to get into the mood. When libidos wane, relationships can erupt into conflict. The partner left without sex may feel angry and resentful, only further contributing to low libido. And the partner with decreased libido may experience a steady plummet in his or her self-esteem, only exacerbating the problem. It does not have to be this way. Some low libido issues are [medical](https://menshealthclinic.com/au/about/?msclkid=085a034b4c021654b20c6754f5828593&utm_campaign=437004605&campaignname=Generic-Last-Longer-Other&match=Exact&adgroupid=1345803818410046&adgroupname=Improves&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=&utm_term=e_How%20To%20Improve%20Sexual%20Performance&msclkid=085a034b4c021654b20c6754f5828593) [problems](https://www.menopausecentre.com.au/low-libido), but most can be fixed with lifestyle remedies. Three Seas [counsels’](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/alana-fishman/) people on a range of libido issues and can help you determine the nature of your issue & develop a strategy to assist you. In the meantime, try one of these below: ## 5 Strategies for Improving your Libido ### Change Your Surroundings Life can get dull after a lifetime of marriage, kids, working, and managing a house. If you feel bored with your spouse, the issue is not the person you loved and worshipped at one time. It might be your surroundings. Time to do something thrilling. Take a vacation together. Spend a night in a hotel. Do anything to get you out of your comfort zone and free of your habits. Can’t afford a lavish getaway? Just a night playing a sport together or roller-skating can help you break free from boredom. ### Take a Break Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Remember when you pined for your partner in between dates? Bring back the magic by spending some time apart. Ask your partner to stop asking you for sex for a week. Then spend the night in a hotel room all by yourself. You might be surprised by how libidinous you feel after this small departure. ### Talk About Your Desires Some people spend a lifetime together without ever sharing what they want sexually. Get over the same; [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can help. Talk openly with your partner about what you want. The conversation alone can be arousing once you get going, and you may be surprised by how many options are available—even after years, or even decades, spent together. ### Change the Way You Have Sex On television and movies, sex follows a predictable pattern: kissing, brief foreplay, then intercourse that quickly results in ecstasy. The reality is that foreplay begins well before you get into the bedroom, and most women cannot orgasm from intercourse. Consider removing intercourse from the table, and trying other approaches: oral sex, mutual masturbation, even working up to anal sex. Not only will the change be exciting; it also forces both you and your partner to get more creative. And sexual creativity is the antidote to boredom. You may even find that both you and your partner feel like adventurous kids, free of pressure and timelines, when you find alternatives to intercourse. ### Do Something Nice for Your Partner If you’re the libidinous partner struggling with a partner who has a low libido, stop asking about sex. Give them a break. Instead, find a way to reduce their stress load. A messy house, screaming children, and bills that need to be paid are not conducive to sexual desire. Instead, clean the house, make dinner, get a baby-sitter, and create a relaxing environment for a day or two. Then gently initiate sex—but be willing to take no for an answer. Otherwise, your partner will think you only do nice things when you want something in return. And that’s never a recipe for a satisfying sex life. If you’d like [support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) during this process, then we recommend reaching out to a [professional](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/) who has ample experience in dealing with low libido & relationships. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Sexuality, Couples and Families, General Health **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, couples retreat, marriage counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Top Predictors of Relationship Satisfaction - Advice from Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/top-predictors-of-relationship-satisfaction-advice-from-psychologists/) **Published:** March 15, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Top Predictors of Relationship Satisfaction – Advice from Psychologists The quality of our romantic relationships can impact our mental and physical health as well as our overall feeling of life satisfaction1. This is subject to a number of objective measures (e.g. conflict management and intimacy) that predict the success of our relationships as well as subjective measures. A common measurement used to assess and predict relationship quality is relationship satisfaction. The subjective appraisal of one’s experience of their relationship and how attracted they are to their relationship2. We look at some of the top predictors of relationship satisfaction with advice from psychologists. This measure is helpful because it accounts for an individual’s personal values within their relationship. For example, longevity, commitment, independence or freedom. Although how we appraise our relationship may differ there are several factors that predict a higher level of satisfaction for the majority of people. A 2020 study3 found that the most reliable relationship variables were perceived partner commitment (e.g., “My partner would never leave me”), appreciation (e.g., “I am so grateful for my partner”), sexual satisfaction (e.g., “How satisfied are you with the quality of your sex life?”), perceived partner satisfaction (e.g., “Our relationship makes my partner very happy”), and conflict (e.g., “How often do you have fights with your partner?”). Over the coming weeks, I will explore each of these factors. ## **Perceived partner commitment** A 2012 study4 found that how committed you feel your partner is to your relationship will influence how you respond to relationship threats. They found that those who perceive their partner to have high commitment compared to those who perceive it as low, responded with less distress and maintained a greater feeling of connectedness. Furthermore, our individual tendency towards connection or risk-aversion to threats can also influence our reactions. At face value this study might seem to condemn those with low perceived partner commitment to a lifetime of abject disconnection. However, it’s important to note that this study is about our perception of our partner’s commitment. This may vary drastically from their actual displays of commitment or their intention to remain committed. Our perception is influenced and distorted by various factors from our childhood and adult experiences as well as our circumstances. Psychological disorders such as OCD, [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/generalised-anxiety-disorder/) and Borderline Personality Disorder can significantly influence our perception of intimate connection, commitment and rejection. A sub-theme of OCD and Generalised Anxiety called Relationship OCD/Anxiety can induce distressing intrusive thoughts that cause a person to endlessly worry and/or try to get reassurance of their partner’s commitment to them. Ironically, this incessant assurance seeking can be such a burden on their partner that it leads to the end of the relationship. Even an empathetic and patient partner can feel hurt by constant doubt of their commitment. Although it is the person’s fault that they behave this way, it can be very helpful to seek help from a psychologist or couples counsellor to reduce the effect it can have on the relationship. ## Attachment Styles Explained Another factor that influences our perception of commitment is attachment styles 5. Attachment styles are a concept of measuring a person’s ability to healthily engage in relationships. Some people are more likely to reactively avoid relationships and others to excessively attach themselves to a person. There are several variances within the attachment style model, however Avoidant and Anxiously attached styles are relevant in this context. Those who are avoidant attached may perceive a healthy display of commitment (e.g. introducing them to their parents after dating for many months) as an egregious threat to their independence. In contrast, those who are anxiously attached may perceive a healthy boundary in a relationship (e.g. wanting to spend a weekend alone with their friends) as a severe rejection or abandonment. Although attachment styles are formed in early childhood and remain consistent through our lives, they can be improved with healthy relationships and psychotherapy. Many psychologists and couples counsellors have trained in attachment style therapy and can assist you in your relationship or dating life. The [Mark Grove’s](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-attachment-theory-nervous-system-connection-with/id1282044290?i=1000558593044) podcast on this topic is an excellent free resource for a further deep dive. ## Next Steps you can Seek through Therapy It’s normal for feelings of connection and commitment in a relationship to fluctuate. However, it’s important to remember that our perception of the relationship can be excessively distorted by erroneous factors. If you’ve got reason to believe this might be the case for yourself, then it may be worth seeing a [psychologist or couples counsellor](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] References 1. Meyler, D., Stimpson, J. P., & Peek, M. K. (2007). Health concordance within couples: A systematic review. *Social Science & Medicine*, *64*(11), 2297-2310. [https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2007.02.007](https://doi.org/https:/doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2007.02.007) 2. Bradbury, T. N., Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. H. (2000). Research on the nature and determinants of marital satisfaction. *Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62*, 964–980. 3. Joel, S., Eastwick, P. W., Allison, C. J., Arriaga, X. B., Baker, Z. G., Bar-Kalifa, E., Bergeron, S., Birnbaum, G. E., Brock, R. L., Brumbaugh, C. C., Carmichael, C. L., Chen, S., Clarke, J., Cobb, R. J., Coolsen, M. K., Davis, J., De Jong, D. C., Debrot, A., Dehaas, E. C., . . . Wolf, S. (2020). Machine learning uncovers the most robust self-report predictors of relationship quality across 43 longitudinal couples studies. *Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences*, *117*(32), 19061-19071. 4. Reyes, Norma L., “Perceived Partner Commitment and Implicit Self-Esteem Predicts Connectedness Accessibility in Response to Relationship Threat” (2012). Master’s Theses. 849. [https://ecommons.luc.edu/luc\_theses/849](https://ecommons.luc.edu/luc_theses/849) 5. Ainsworth, M. and Bell, S., 1970. Attachment, Exploration, and Separation: Illustrated by the Behavior of One-Year-Olds in a Strange Situation. *Child Development*, 41(1), p.49. **Categories:** Blog, Sexuality, Couples and Families **Tags:** counselling, couples counselling, couples retreat, marriage counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [What Predicts Relationship Satisfaction?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-predicts-relationship-satisfaction-2/) **Published:** April 9, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **What Predicts Relationship Satisfaction? Part 3: Sexual Satisfaction** The relationship between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction has been vigorously researched and debated in recent decades. Common arguments are that one influences the other, or that the influence is bidirectional or that there is no relationship between the two factors. If this has been vigorously researched, then why is it debatable? Firstly, relationships are complicated, varied and are influenced by many factors. Therefore, trying to boil down two significant variables in romantic relationships to a simple one or two-way relationship is challenging. Secondly, relationship factors don’t develop independently in a straight line. They are much more likely to develop systematically. Despite these challenges, recent research supports a bidirectional relationship (sexual satisfaction influences relationship satisfaction and visa versa) (Quinn-Nilas, 2020). This article will explain how to understand the relationship between sexual and relationship satisfaction and how to improve it in your own life. ## **Stress** It would come as no surprise to most people that stress moderates (alters) the relationship between sexual and relationship satisfaction. However, what is surprising is that those who are highly stressed experience a bigger impact on their relationship satisfaction the day after having sex (Zhao et al., 2022). Perhaps this means that highly stressed people appreciate the stress-reducing effects of sex and carry that appreciation to their relationship. Allred et al. (2016) suggests that people who are highly stressed tend to rely upon mental shortcuts. Therefore, they would generalize their feelings about their sexual satisfaction (or dissatisfaction) to their relationship satisfaction. Whereas less stressed people may consider multiple facets of their relationship in their appraisal. Whilst there is only so much, we can do about the level of stress we experience daily, there is something we can do to manage our perception of our relationship. TIP: Consider your [stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-strategies-dealing-stress-work/) level when you are feeling dissatisfied with your relationship. If you are highly stressed, you may be making unhelpful generalisations about your relationship or sex life. Especially considering that during highly stressful situations we tend to have less energy and time for intimacy. In those moments it may be helpful to reflect on the other satisfying and meaningful aspects of your relationship. ## **Gender and Sexuality** The research shows higher and more stable levels of sexual desire in men compared to women over the lifespan (Wieczorek et al., 2022). This was true for both homosexual and heterosexual men and women. Importantly around the age of 40 most women in the study experienced a steep decline in sexual desire towards their partner and attractive people in general. Whereas for men, their sexual desire peaked in their 20s and remained stable into their old age. Significant differences in sexual desire in romantic partners can lead to sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction. However, this is not limited to the data above, differences in desire level can occur in relationships with any combination of genders and sexualities. TIP: Whether you have a higher or lower sexual desire than your partner, it’s important to not take it personally. Firstly, because it’s likely that it’s not personal. There are many biological, contextual and psychological factors that influence a person’s sexual desire in a given moment. Secondly, how you respond to your partner declining sex is the greatest predictor of how frequently you will have sex in the future. Research from the [Gottman Institute](https://www.gottman.com/podcast/) found that those who responded with understanding and kindness had more sex in the future than those who were critical or pressuring. So, remember it’s not personal and being kind might get you laid. ## Relationship Counselling Sexual satisfaction is a primary predictor of relationship satisfaction. As we’ve seen, this can look very different for different people. The research suggests that taking a broad perspective of your relationship and treating your partner with understanding will likely improve your sexual and relationship satisfaction. If you still feel like you need further support and assistance, we have a range of [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/) & therapists who have experience in this. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”TheThreeSeasPsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **References** Józefacka, N. M., Szpakiewicz, E., Lech, D., Guzowski, K., & Kania, G. (2023). What Matters in a Relationship-Age, Sexual Satisfaction, Relationship Length, and Interpersonal Closeness as Predictors of Relationship Satisfaction in Young Adults. International journal of environmental research and public health, 20(5), 4103. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20054103 Quinn-Nilas, C. (2020). Relationship and sexual satisfaction: A developmental perspective on bidirectionality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(2), 624–646. Wieczorek, L. L., Chivers, M., Koehn, M. A., DeBruine, L. M., & Jones, B. C. (2022). Age Effects on Women’s and Men’s Dyadic and Solitary Sexual Desire. Archives of sexual behavior, 51(8), 3765–3789. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02375-8 Zhao, C., McNulty, J.K., Turner, J.A. et al. Evidence of a Bidirectional Association Between Daily Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction That Is Moderated by Daily Stress. Arch Sex Behav 51, 3791–3806 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02399-0 **Categories:** Blog, Sexuality, General Health **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, couples retreat, marriage counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [What Mental Health Services are available in Victoria?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-mental-health-services-are-available-in-victoria/) **Published:** October 31, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## What Mental Health Services are available in Victoria? What mental health services are available in Victoria? Read on to find out more. In Australia we have access to many effective mental health services. This article will answer common questions about how and when to access specific services. It will outline distinguishing features of the services so that you can access the appropriate one. The services range from 24/7 lifelines to community social activities and private practice psychology. It’s important to remember that in an emergency you should call 000. #### **How can I access Mental Health Services?** Each state and territory has specific services available through public and private organisations. Unless it is an emergency most people see their General Practitioner as an initial step. Their GP can help offer preliminary support and referrals. Most of the Government services are location dependent; where you live will determine which service you can access. Speaking to your GP can make this process easier to navigate for you. Government mental health services are divided into clinical and non-clinical1. Clinical involves psychological assessments and treatment for mental illness. Non-clinical involves various opportunities to get involved with community and social activities. A full list of available services can be found[ here](https://www.health.vic.gov.au/mental-health/about-victorias-mental-health-services). With the use of telehealth, private practice Psychology is more accessible than ever. Unlike government mental health services there are no requirements to see a private billing psychologist or counsellor. People often seek these services for mental illness, difficult circumstances or difficulty functioning in day-to-day life. The last includes sleeping, socialising, maintaining relationships and employment. There are many options to receive [subsidised](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq/how-does-the-rebate-work/) sessions with psychologists and counsellors. Seeing a private practitioner often provides more flexibility and options than Government services too. #### **What if I want a service that represents my demographic or affiliation?** There are many alternative or indirect ways which you can improve your mental health. This includes joining a sports team, book club, religious group or support group. Even if you are simultaneously receiving mental health treatment, these additions will likely improve the benefits of treatment. Research has shown that the circumstances of the patient, the support of loved ones, sense of meaning and involvement, accounts for a large portion of their recovery2. There are specific support groups that help people recovering from addiction, struggling with parenthood and are living in a new country. #### **What are the benefits of MHS?** Mental health services effectively help people to manage symptoms of depression and anxiety3. They can also help people navigate difficult life circumstances like financial stress, grief and relationship issues. Psychotherapy can assist in addressing dysfunctional behaviours and thought patterns3. This often improves overall life satisfaction. #### **Are mental health services a waste of time and money?** Mental health issues and dysfunctional behaviour can severely impact our lives. Psychotherapy alone has an effectiveness of 80%2. This is incredibly high considering the factors outside of the control of the practitioner and the client. Mental health services in Australia are highly regulated by the government and independent bodies like the Australian Psychological Society. So, the services operate at a high standard of effectiveness and harm-minimisation. #### **Why don’t people seek treatment when they need it?** Unfortunately, there are many reasons why someone might avoid or delay mental health services. This can include a bad previous experience, stigma against mental health treatment and financial barriers4. If that’s the case for you, it might be worth speaking to your GP about your concerns. Alternatively, websites like [Beyond Blue](https://www.beyondblue.org.au) share personal accounts of people who have received mental health services. By Will Sutherland References 1. 2. Duncan, S. C., Miller, B. E. Wampold, and M. A. Hubble (Eds.), *Heart and soul of change: Delivering what works in therapy* (2nd ed., pp. 357–392). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 3. Australian Psychological Society. (2018). *Evidence-based psychological interventions in the treatment of mental disorders: A literature review*. *Fourth Edition*. 4. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – Life on life’s terms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-life-on-lifes-terms/) **Published:** October 26, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Acceptance and Commitment Therapy [Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) use a variety of therapies in order to best relieve pain and suffering. There is a wealth of resources to help you navigate or investigate any particular therapy. Those who consider [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can empower themselves and make an informed choice as to the appropriateness of a particular approach. Today, we will discuss Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, also known as ACT. The ACT model, which originated with Steve Hayes in 1986, is a mindfulness-based behavioural therapy. The process aims to enhance psychological flexibility through acceptance, spirituality, and mindfulness. Research has found evidence in support of ACT for the treatment of anxiety, addiction, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and psychosis. In addition, ACT has been used in the treatment of eating disorders, chronic pain, substance abuse, and diabetes. Rather than a direct focus on symptom reduction, ACT aims to help individuals develop the skills necessary to cope better with the demands of daily life, and particular issues or events as appropriate. It gives us the tools to sit with the feeling of sadness, craving, or anxiety, and to accept temporary pain or negative emotion in the knowledge that it will pass. The therapy teaches us to focus, calm our mind and body, and remind us that we are not our memories. This process helps people become aware that they are moving towards their values through committed action. Individuals learn to live and behave in ways consistent with their personal values. In so doing, they are encouraged to embrace their thoughts and feelings, rather than avoid, fight, repress, or feel guilty about them. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy acknowledges that living a good life is not about simply ‘feeling happy’ all the time. Life has its ups and downs and brings with it a wide range of emotions, good, bad, and in between. ACT helps us embrace the entirety of the human experience no matter how painful or uncomfortable. ACT is all about the acceptance of life on life’s terms. ACT teaches us that it’s okay if our thoughts and feelings are painful or uncomfortable. This therapy encourages the individual to be in the ‘here and now’. ACT gradually promotes ease and wonder within, to create the desired space for people to embrace in a healthy way the challenges and complexities of life. References: Harris, R. (2008g). *The happiness trap: How to stop struggling and start living*. Boulder, Co: Trumpter T Hayes, S. C. (2005). *Get out of your mind and into your life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy*. Oakland, CA: New Haringer Publication. Inc. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [The Impact of the 2023 Federal Budget on Psychology in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-impact-of-australias-2023-federal-budget-on-psychology-in-melbourne/) **Published:** May 16, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## The Impact of Australia’s 2023 Federal Budget on Psychology in Melbourne ## Introduction The Impact of Australia’s 2023 Federal Budget on Psychology in Melbourne holds significant promise for psychologists and patients. This article explores the implications of the budget on the field of psychology, highlighting key developments and their potential impact. ## A Much-Needed Workforce Boost: The Federal Budget has recognized the importance of a robust psychology workforce in Melbourne and across Australia. The [APS media release](https://psychology.org.au/about-us/news-and-media/media-releases/2023/workforce-boost-a-win-for-psychologists-and-patien) highlights that the budget includes substantial funding to address the growing demand for mental health services. This investment aims to increase the number of psychologists available to provide crucial support to individuals in need. ## Improved Access to Psychological Services: One of the key objectives of the Federal Budget is to ensure enhanced accessibility to psychological services for all Australians, including those in Melbourne. The allocated funds will be utilized to reduce wait times and improve access to quality mental health care. This initiative acknowledges the significant role psychologists play in promoting mental well-being and will likely have a positive impact on the community. ## Funding for Research and Innovation: Recognizing the importance of ongoing research and innovation in the field of psychology, the Federal Budget allocates resources to support these endeavors. The APS media release emphasizes the budget’s commitment to fostering advancements in psychological research, which will contribute to evidence-based practices and further enhance the effectiveness of psychological interventions. ## Strengthening Telehealth Services: The COVID-19 pandemic has accelerated the adoption of telehealth services, including psychological consultations. The Federal Budget seeks to reinforce and expand telehealth initiatives to ensure continued access to mental health support, particularly in regions with limited resources. This development is especially relevant for residents of Melbourne who can benefit from remote consultations with psychologists. The budget includes [$202 million](https://kpmg.com/au/en/home/insights/2023/05/federal-budget-australia.html?pageAccordionID=0&nocache=true&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=ggl-nbrand&utm_campaign=1071472056dtl&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5PH_rev2_gIVEaGWCh2fNg3hEA) to extend telehealth services, enabling Australians to access quality healthcare remotely. The implication of telehealth services for psychological services is significant. By extending and strengthening telehealth services, individuals in need of psychological support can access care conveniently and remotely. This is especially beneficial for those who face barriers to in-person appointments, such as individuals living in rural or remote areas, those with limited mobility, or individuals facing transportation challenges. Telehealth eliminates geographical constraints, allowing individuals in Melbourne and beyond to connect with mental health professionals from the comfort of their homes. Moreover, [telehealth](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) can enhance accessibility by reducing wait times and increasing appointment availability. It also provides a more flexible and convenient option for individuals with busy schedules. The expansion of telehealth services in the Federal budget indicates a commitment to ensuring equitable access to psychological services and addressing the growing demand for mental health support. ## Collaboration and Integration: In line with the broader objective of strengthening the mental health system, the Federal Budget emphasizes collaboration and integration among different healthcare providers. The APS media release highlights the importance of working together to deliver coordinated and holistic care to individuals requiring psychological support. Such collaboration holds the potential to improve patient outcomes and foster a multidisciplinary approach to mental health. ## Conclusion: The Australia Federal Budget 2023 brings positive news for psychology in Melbourne. It focuses on workforce boost, accessibility, research, and telehealth. The aim is to meet the growing demand for mental health support. By investing in psychology, the government shows commitment to societal well-being. Expect positive changes and advancements in Melbourne’s psychology field. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] References: Australian Psychological Society (APS) – Workforce Boost: A win for psychologists and patients. Retrieved from: https://psychology.org.au/about-us/news-and-media/media-releases/2023/workforce-boost-a-win-for-psychologists-and-patien KPMG Australia – Federal Budget 2023. Retrieved from: \[https://kpmg.com/au/en/home/insights/2023/05/federal-budget-australia.html?utm\_medium=cpc&utm\_source=ggl-nbrand&utm\_campaign=1071472056dtl&nocache=true&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5PH\_rev2\_gIVEaGWCh2fNg3hEA **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [Autism Assessments for Adults & Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/autism-assessments-for-adults-children/) **Published:** February 16, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Autism Assessments for Adults & Children Studies have repeatedly debunked the notion that vaccinations, “bad parenting,” and other parental choices [cause autism](https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/about-autism/fact-sheets), Asperger’s, and related conditions. Instead, research increasingly points to the role of genetics. Environmental toxins, including exposure to some chemicals during pregnancy and early childhood, as well as the complex interplay between environment and genes may also play a role. For instance, children whose parents do not talk to them, or who do not seek early autism treatment may have more severe symptoms. More than [1 in 160 Australian children aged 6-12 have an autism-spectrum disorder](https://www.autismqld.com.au/page/65/What-causes-Autism), and the number is rapidly rising. ## Autism – Signs & Treatment It’s no wonder so many parents panic about their children’s development, especially given the devastating effects autism can have on a family. The good news is that autism is treatable, and many children with autism-spectrum disorders go on to lead happy, healthy, independent lives. Early interventions make a significant difference, so knowing the signs and seeking early treatment are both vital steps to helping your child. ## Early Warning Signs of Autism Every child develops differently. Some say their first words at 6-8 months, while some are almost mute for the first two years of life. Thousands of children hit milestones late and are perfectly fine, so exhibiting some of the following symptoms does not mean your child has autism. It does, however, suggests that he or she should be evaluated by a trained autism evaluator: - Any sudden loss of or regression in speech. Some children with autism talk early, then suddenly stop. - No smiles or other joyful expressions by six months. - No back-and-forth smiles, sounds, or expressions by nine months. - No babbling by a year. - No pointing, waving, or other gestures by 12 months. - No words by 16 months; note that the words might still be garbled or unclear, and that this is perfectly normal. - No two-word sentences, including repetition or imitation, by two years. Much depends on a child’s environment, and children whose parents engage with them are more likely to engage early. Thus you should, from the very beginning, interact with your child to promote social skills and verbal development—two powerful antidotes to autism symptoms. ## Where to Seek Help If you suspect your child might have autism, talk to his or her paediatrician. Paediatricians are experts on child development, and are the best starting point for referrals and basic information. However, it is generally not appropriate to rely on a paediatrician as your child’s sole source of treatment. Children with autism need a number of interventions, and the more intensive those interventions are, the more likely the child is to thrive. Some of the professionals from whom you might seek help include: - Doctors and therapists who specialise in autism. - Physical and occupational therapists. - Speech therapists. - Behavioural aides; these experts help modify your child’s behaviour and teach him or her social skills. - Teachers with special training in children with autism. - Play groups for children with autism. These groups hep children learn basic social skills. Remember, just because your child has autism, you should not give up on normal developmental activities. Continue taking him or her to the park, playing, talking, singing, and generally treating your child like a “normal” child. When children are stigmatised, they are more likely to regress or behave in unusual ways. ## The Role of Therapy and Family Counselling [Family counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) is indispensable for families struggling with autism-related issues. At Three Seas, we routinely work with children on the autism spectrum and their families. Remember, autism is not just a practical concern; it also affects the mental health of each family member. A few of the many ways high-quality [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can help you and your child include: - Helping you with the stress of caring for a child with autism. - Addressing communication issues and parenting disputes between you and your partner. - Helping your family find new ways to assist your child by adapting its routines. - Educating you about how autism will affect your child. - Helping you and your child set and commit to reasonable goals. Autism can be a devastating diagnosis, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the fun of parenting. Let us show you how autism can serve as a new beginning. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents --- ### [4 Key Benefits of Christian Marriage Counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/christian-marriage-counselling-in-melbourne/) **Published:** May 9, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Introduction to Christian Marriage Counselling in Melbourne: Marriage is often described as a journey of love, commitment, and growth. However, navigating through its complexities can sometimes be challenging, leading couples to seek guidance and support. In Melbourne, Australia, Christian [marriage counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-difference-between-couples-counselling-marriage-counselling/ "The Difference between Couples Counselling & Marriage Counselling") offers a nurturing environment for couples to strengthen their bonds, resolve conflicts, and deepen their faith. In this blog post, we’ll explore the significance of Christian marriage counselling in Melbourne, its benefits, and how couples can find the right guidance for their journey. ## Understanding Christian Marriage Counselling: Christian marriage counselling is grounded in the principles of the Christian faith, integrating biblical teachings with therapeutic techniques to address relationship issues. It provides couples with a safe space to explore their challenges, communicate effectively, and align their values with their marital goals. In Melbourne, there are numerous counselling services tailored specifically to Christian couples, offering a holistic approach to relationship healing. ## A Foundation of Christian Marriage Counselling: “The most important commandment is to love God completely, and most important after that is to love others,” or “Love your neighbour as yourself.” In the journey of marriage, couples are called not only to love each other but also to extend that love outward, mirroring the divine love they receive. This commandment emphasises the interconnectedness of love for God and love for one’s partner, family, and community. In the counseling room, couples are encouraged to not only resolve conflicts and strengthen communication but also to infuse their relationship with the love and compassion that flows from their faith. It’s a reminder that marriage is not just a union between two individuals but a partnership guided by divine love and purpose. As couples embark on the journey of Christian marriage counselling, they are reminded of the profound truth that loving God and loving one another are intricately intertwined, forming the foundation of a resilient and joy-filled marriage. ## The Importance of Seeking Marriage Counselling: Marriage is a sacred union, but it’s not immune to conflicts, misunderstandings, and hardships. Seeking counsel from a trained professional can provide couples with invaluable insights, tools, and strategies to overcome obstacles and strengthen their relationship. Christian marriage counselling in Melbourne offers a unique perspective, incorporating spiritual guidance and biblical wisdom into the counselling process. It encourages couples to deepen their faith, trust in God’s plan for their marriage, and cultivate forgiveness and compassion towards each other. ## Benefits of Christian Marriage Counselling: - ### Spiritual Guidance: > Christian marriage counselling integrates faith-based principles into the therapeutic process, helping couples reconnect with their spiritual beliefs and values. This spiritual foundation fosters resilience, hope, and a sense of purpose in overcoming marital challenges. - ### Communication Enhancement: > Effective communication is vital for any relationship to thrive. [Christian marriage counselling](https://thegodlymarriage.com.au/marriage/the-foundation-of-marriage-and-the-danger-of-love/) equips couples with communication skills that promote understanding, empathy, and active listening. By learning to express their needs and concerns openly and respectfully, couples can bridge the gap and build stronger connections. - ### Conflict Resolution: > Conflicts are inevitable in marriage, but how couples navigate them can make all the difference. Christian marriage counselling teaches [conflict resolution](https://thethreeseas.com.au/top-predictors-of-relationship-satisfaction-advice-from-psychologists/ "Top Predictors of Relationship Satisfaction – Advice from Psychologists") techniques rooted in love, humility, and forgiveness. By addressing underlying issues and fostering reconciliation, couples can heal wounds and cultivate greater harmony in their relationship. - ### Finding the Right Counsel: > When seeking Christian marriage counselling in Melbourne, it’s essential to find a counsellor or therapist who aligns with your beliefs, values, and goals. Conducting thorough research, reading reviews, and asking for recommendations from trusted sources can help couples identify reputable counselling services. Additionally, couples should feel comfortable and supported by their counsellor, fostering an environment of trust and collaboration. In Conclusion: Christian marriage counselling in Melbourne offers couples a transformative journey towards healing, growth, and spiritual renewal. By embracing the guidance of trained professionals and drawing strength from their faith, couples can navigate challenges with grace, resilience, and unwavering love. Investing in their marriage through counselling not only strengthens the bond between spouses but also deepens their connection with God, laying a foundation for a thriving and fulfilling relationship. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Finding the Right Psychotherapist in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/finding-the-right-psychotherapist-in-melbourne/) **Published:** November 6, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Finding the Right Psychotherapist in Melbourne** Navigating the world of mental health can be daunting. Especially when you’re seeking the right psychotherapist in Melbourne. This guide aims to simplify that process. It provides practical tips and resources to help you make an informed decision. Remember, finding the right psychotherapist is crucial for your healing journey. It’s about finding someone who understands your needs and can guide you towards better mental health. So, whether you’re seeking therapy for the first time or considering a change, this guide is here to help. Let’s embark on this journey together. ## **Understanding Psychotherapy in Melbourne** Psychotherapy covers a range of therapeutic approaches to mental well-being. In Melbourne, diverse psychotherapy options are available. These include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, and more. Each type of therapy has its unique techniques and focuses. For instance, CBT helps you change negative thought patterns, while psychodynamic therapy examines unconscious processes. Understanding these differences can assist in choosing the right approach for your needs. This empowers you in your mental health journey and ensures a tailored therapy experience. ## **Qualifications and Accreditations to Look For** Choosing a psychotherapist in Melbourne involves checking their credentials. Professional accreditation ensures quality and adherence to ethical standards. Look for therapists registered with the [Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency](https://www.ahpra.gov.au) (AHPRA). This registration indicates they meet professional requirements. Here’s a checklist for selecting a qualified therapist: - Verify AHPRA registration - Check for additional certifications - Assess their experience in your area of concern ## **Researching and Selecting a Psychotherapist** Begin your search by asking for recommendations from trusted sources. Friends, family, or your GP can provide valuable insights. Read reviews online to understand experiences other clients have had. These reviews often highlight the therapist’s strengths. Ensure the psychotherapist’s expertise matches your needs. Check their specialisations and consider their therapy style to fit your preferences. ## **Initial Consultations and Assessing Compatibility** An initial consultation is an opportunity to gauge comfort levels with the psychotherapist. Feeling at ease is crucial for effective therapy. During the consultation, ask questions such as: - What is your experience with issues like mine? - How would you describe your therapy style? - What can I expect from sessions? Assessing compatibility early can lead to better therapeutic outcomes. ## **Location, Accessibility, and Costs** Choosing a conveniently located psychotherapist in Melbourne can simplify regular appointments. Proximity to public transport or parking might be important factors. Costs vary; understanding fees and billing is essential. Check if sessions are covered by [Medicare](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq/fees-medicare-and-private-health-insurance/ "Fees, Medicare and Private Health Insurance") or private insurance, as it may reduce expenses. Consider these logistical aspects: - Office hours and scheduling flexibility - Cancellation policies - Cost per session and available payment plans Being informed about these details can prevent unexpected issues and help you maintain consistent therapy. ## **The Importance of Cultural Competence** Cultural competence in psychotherapy fosters a supportive environment. It ensures that your therapist understands and respects your cultural background. This understanding can improve communication and treatment effectiveness. Seek therapists in Melbourne who are knowledgeable about diverse cultures for a better therapeutic experience. ## **Setting Goals and Evaluating Progress** It’s essential to set clear therapy goals with your psychotherapist. Discussing and agreeing on these goals can guide your sessions effectively. Regularly evaluate your progress with your therapist. This evaluation helps ensure that the therapy is moving in the right direction for you. ## **When to Consider Changing Psychotherapists** Sometimes, therapy may not feel effective, or trust might not develop. It’s crucial to recognise these signs. If progress stalls or discomfort persists, consider seeking another professional who aligns better with your needs. ## **Resources for Immediate Support in Melbourne** Melbourne offers numerous resources for urgent mental health support. It’s vital to know where to find help. Several organisations provide immediate assistance for those in need. They can guide you through challenging moments. Here’s a list of some key resources in Melbourne: - Lifeline: 13 11 14 - Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 - Headspace: Visit local centers for youth support Reach out when you need them. Prioritising mental health ensures you’re supported during critical times. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Cost of Living Crisis in Mental Health Care](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/cost-of-living-crisis-in-mental-health-care/) **Published:** March 12, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Addressing the Cost of Living Crisis in Mental Health Care Psychologists urge Medicare changes amid cost-of-living crisis and mental health strain. Rising demand for mental health services prompts calls for government action amid increasing suicide and self-harm rates. Explore the latest updates to Medicare benefits and their implications for individuals seeking vital mental health support. ## Doubling Subsidised Psychology Sessions Amidst the cost-of-living crisis, affordable mental health care is harder to access for Australian households. [The Australian Association of Psychologists Inc](https://aapi.org.au/) is leading the charge for doubling the number of subsidised psychology sessions and reducing the growing gap fee, recognising the urgent need to address barriers to accessing care. ## New Year, New Mental Health Medicare Benefits With the arrival of the new year comes a [refreshing of Medicare sessions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-to-access-affordable-mental-health-services-in-australia/) for psychology for some individuals, offering hope for many in need of mental health support. The federal government is under pressure to increase the Medicare rebate for psychology sessions, with calls to lift it by more than $50 for certain sessions. Additionally, there are proposals to expand the number of subsidised sessions from 10 to 20, providing much-needed relief for individuals facing financial hardship. ## Equitable Access to Mental Health Care for all Australians While discussions surrounding Medicare benefits continue, it is essential to acknowledge the complexities of addressing mental health needs across diverse populations. The [Better Access program](https://www.health.gov.au/our-work/better-access-initiative), introduced by the federal government, has been instrumental in providing vital support to individuals with mental health conditions. Ongoing efforts are crucial for equal access to care for all Australians, no matter their situation. ![Cost of Living Crisis in Mental Health Care](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Low-Cost-Mental-Health_Hero-248x143.jpg "Cost of Living Crisis in Mental Health Care")Cost of Living Crisis in Mental Health Care ## Looking Ahead Amid the cost-of-living crisis, prioritise community and individual well-being. Advocate for better Medicare benefits and mental health services to support those in need. Together, we can work towards building a healthier future for all Australians. In conclusion, the renewed pressure on the federal government represent a step in the right direction towards addressing the mental health crisis gripping our nation. By recognising the importance of accessible and affordable mental health care, we can pave the way for brighter and more hopeful tomorrows. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Australian Cosmetic Surgery: Psychologist Safety Assessment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/new-cosmetic-surgery-guidelines-in-australia-doctor-referral-and-psychologist-assessment-for-patient-safety/) **Published:** April 25, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## New Cosmetic Surgery Guidelines in Australia ## Why a Doctor Referral and Psychologist Assessment is Essential for Patient Safety Learn about the new cosmetic surgery guidelines in Australia. These require patients seeking cosmetic surgery to obtain a referral from a doctor and undergo a mental health assessment by a psychologist. This blog post explains why these requirements are essential for patient safety and well-being. It provides information on how patients in Melbourne can find qualified psychologists for their assessment. ## The Importance of Patient Safety in Cosmetic Surgery In Australia, patients often need a doctor’s referral for cosmetic surgery to comply with the 2021 guidelines. These guidelines are to ensure safety and well-being. The new guidelines, outlined in this [article](https://www.9news.com.au/health/new-cosmetic-surgery-guidelines-australia-explained/0d21bd08-a122-4fa9-8ebd-bcb09fe8a26c) on 9news.com.au, require that patients seeking cosmetic surgery receive a referral from a GP or specialist. This is in addition to undergoing a mental health assessment by a qualified psychologist. These requirements aim to reduce the risk of complications and ensure that patients are mentally prepared for the procedure. ## Addressing Criticisms of the New Cosmetic Surgery Guidelines in Australia While some may criticize these guidelines, as noted in this [article](https://www.ladbible.com/news/influencer-slams-new-rule-mental-health-assessment-plastic-surgery-235123-20230420) on ladbible.com, it is important to remember that cosmetic surgery is a serious medical procedure. As such it should not be taken lightly. It is essential to prioritize the health and well-being of patients over any potential social media clout or personal desire for a certain look. ## Finding a Qualified Psychologist in Melbourne for Your Assessment Patients in Melbourne seeking a psychologist for their mental health assessment can search for “psychologist Melbourne” online. Patients can also consult with their GP for a recommendation. Therapy sessions with a qualified psychologist can help individuals prepare mentally for their procedure. Therapy can ensure that they are in the right headspace to undergo the surgery. In summary, the requirement for a doctor referral and mental health assessment before seeing a plastic surgeon in Australia is an important step in ensuring patient safety and well-being. Patients can seek out qualified psychologists, such as those in Melbourne, to help them prepare for their procedure mentally. As a result, this approach to cosmetic surgery is something that everyone should embrace. ## Prioritizing Patient Well-being at The Three Seas: Booking an Appointment with Our Experienced Psychologist [Booking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) with a qualified psychologist is essential for Australian cosmetic surgery patients, as required by new 2021 guidelines. At The Three Seas, patients get a thorough mental health assessment for mental preparedness. Our experienced psychologists navigate the emotional and psychological aspects of surgery, prioritizing patient safety and desired outcomes. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, Individual **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [Ethics in Psychology: A Guide for Clients in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/ethics-in-psychology-a-guide-for-clients-in-melbourne/) **Published:** April 8, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Psychology is a field that rests on the pillars of trust, respect, and ethical practice. Understanding these ethical guidelines can help foster a positive therapeutic relationship for clients seeking mental health support in Melbourne, Australia. It ensures that your needs are met with professionalism and integrity. Let’s explore some common scenarios as working examples that shed light on ethical considerations in psychology. ## Informed Consent: Informed consent is fundamental in psychology. Clients have the right to understand the nature of the services they will receive, any potential risks involved, and their autonomy in decision-making. Psychologists must provide this information in plain language, ensuring that clients can make well-informed choices about their treatment. Imagine a psychologist consulting with a minor client and their parents. The psychologist actively obtains informed consent from both the minor client and their legal guardians. This process entails explaining the purpose of the procedures, potential risks, and confidentiality. Despite the parents’ involvement, prioritising the autonomy of the minor client remains crucial. In situations involving family court orders and concerns about a child’s well-being in toxic family environments, it’s essential to note that ideally, both parents should be informed about the decision to initiate psychological services for the child. However, consent from one parent may be deemed sufficient, particularly if there are indications of abuse or other significant difficulties. This underscores the critical role psychologists play in advocating for the psychological well-being of vulnerable individuals, especially when navigating complex familial dynamics. By ensuring that at least one parent provides consent, psychologists can promptly address the child’s needs and provide necessary support in challenging circumstances. Similarly, when a family member seeks to make appointments on behalf of a loved one, ensuring that the client themselves consents to the services is crucial to respecting their autonomy and upholding ethical standards. ## Confidentiality: Confidentiality is another cornerstone of ethical practice in psychology. Additionally, clients have the right to expect that their personal information will be safeguarded, with few exceptions. Psychologists must responsibly collect, store, and share information to protect the confidentiality of their clients. There are circumstances where confidentiality may be breached. This includes situations where there’s a legal obligation to disclose information or when there’s a risk of harm to the client or others. It’s important for psychologists to communicate these exceptions clearly to clients, ensuring transparency and trust in the therapeutic relationship. ## Communication and Respect: Effective communication and respect are integral to fostering a positive therapeutic environment. Clients should feel valued, heard, and respected throughout their interactions with psychologists and clinic staff. Providers should provide clear explanations of services, fees, and treatment goals, empowering clients to ask questions and express concerns. Consider the importance of involving family members in meetings or explaining policies around appointment bookings. Open communication and respect for clients’ preferences are essential to building trust and ensuring a positive therapeutic relationship. ## Conclusion: As clients seeking mental health support in Melbourne, you have the right to expect ethical and professional conduct from psychologists and clinic staff. By familiarising yourself with the principles of informed consent, confidentiality, and respectful communication outlined by the [Australian Psychological Society](https://psychology.org.au/about-us/what-we-do/ethics-and-practice-standards) (APS), you can advocate for your needs and ensure that you receive the highest standard of care. At The Three Seas Psychology clinic, we are committed to upholding these ethical principles and providing a safe, supportive environment for our clients. If you have any questions or concerns about our practices, we encourage you to [reach out](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us") to us directly. Your well-being is our priority, and we are here to support you on your journey towards healing and growth. Remember, you have the right to expect ethical and respectful treatment in your therapeutic journey. Being informed and empowered enables you to navigate the complexities of psychology with confidence and trust in the process. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Exploring Sensory AI: Transforming the Future of Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/exploring-sensory-ai-transforming-the-future-of-psychology/) **Published:** July 3, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** The intersection of artificial intelligence (AI) and psychology has always promised exciting innovations, and sensory AI is one of the latest advancements gaining attention. But what exactly is sensory AI, how does it work, and what implications does it hold for the field of psychology? Let’s dive in to explore these questions. ## What is Sensory AI? Sensory AI refers to artificial intelligence systems designed to interpret and respond to human sensory inputs, such as sight, sound, touch, and even smell. These systems are equipped with advanced algorithms and sensors that allow them to process sensory data and interact with humans in a more natural and intuitive way. This technology goes beyond traditional AI by mimicking the human ability to perceive and understand the environment through multiple sensory channels. ## How Does it Work? Sensory AI works by integrating several technological components: 1\. Sensors and Cameras: These capture sensory data from the environment, such as visual images, sounds, and tactile information. 2\. Machine Learning Algorithms: These algorithms process the sensory data to recognise patterns and make sense of the inputs. For example, computer vision algorithms can interpret visual data, while natural language processing (NLP) algorithms can understand and generate human language. 3\. Multimodal Data Integration: Sensory AI systems combine data from multiple sensors to create a comprehensive understanding of the environment. This integration allows the AI to respond more accurately to complex stimuli. 4\. Actuators and Output Devices: These enable the AI to interact with the environment and users, providing feedback through speech, visual displays, or physical actions. ## Sensory AI in the Landscape of Psychology The integration of sensory AI in psychology offers numerous potential benefits: 1\. **Enhanced Therapeutic Interventions**: Sensory AI can be used to create immersive and interactive therapy environments. For example, virtual reality (VR) systems enhanced with sensory AI can simulate real-world scenarios for [exposure therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/phobia/ "Phobia"), helping individuals confront and manage their fears in a controlled setting. 2\. **Improved Accessibility**: AI systems can assist individuals with disabilities by interpreting sensory inputs and providing real-time assistance. For instance, AI-powered devices can help visually impaired individuals navigate their surroundings or provide speech-to-text transcription for those with hearing impairments. 3\. **Advanced Behavioural Analysis**: Sensory AI can analyse subtle cues in behaviour, such as facial expressions and tone of voice, to provide deeper insights into an individual’s emotional state and mental health. This capability can enhance diagnostic accuracy and tailor interventions to specific needs. ## The Future of Sensory AI in Psychology While sensory AI holds significant promise, it is still in the developmental stages. Widespread adoption in clinical practice may be a few years away, but research and pilot programs are already demonstrating its potential. Innovations in machine learning, sensor technology, and data integration are rapidly advancing, bringing us closer to a future where sensory AI is a common tool in psychological practice. ### Harnessing the Positives: To effectively harness sensory AI, psychologists and mental health professionals can: 1\. Stay Informed: Keeping up-to-date with the latest research and developments in sensory AI will allow practitioners to understand its capabilities and limitations. 2\. Collaborate with Technologists: Working with AI researchers and developers can ensure that sensory AI tools are designed with psychological applications in mind. 3\. Participate in Pilot Programs: Engaging in pilot studies and trials can provide valuable insights into how sensory AI can be integrated into therapeutic practices and improve outcomes for patients. ### Potential Risks: As with any emerging technology, and especially AI, there are potential risks associated with sensory AI: 1\. Privacy Concerns: The collection and processing of sensitive sensory data raise significant privacy and ethical issues. Ensuring robust data protection measures and ethical guidelines will be crucial. 2\. Bias and Accuracy: AI systems can inherit biases present in their training data, leading to inaccurate or unfair outcomes. Continuous monitoring and updating of AI algorithms are necessary to mitigate these risks. 3\. Over-reliance on Technology: There is a risk that practitioners may become overly reliant on AI tools, potentially overlooking the importance of human judgment and the therapeutic relationship in psychological practice. ### Conclusion Sensory AI is poised to revolutionise the field of psychology by enhancing therapeutic interventions, improving accessibility, and providing advanced behavioural analysis. While the technology is still evolving, staying informed and actively participating in its development will allow mental health professionals to harness its potential effectively. However, it is essential to navigate the associated risks carefully to ensure that the integration of sensory AI benefits both practitioners and patients. For more detailed information on the latest trends and developments in sensory AI, visit sources like [MIT Technology Review](https://www.technologyreview.com/) and [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/artificial-intelligence). **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How to Make the Most of Enhanced Walking for Mental & Physical Well-being](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-make-the-most-of-enhanced-walking-for-mental-physical-well-being/) **Published:** July 17, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** In today’s fast-paced world, finding time for exercise can be challenging. Yet, the need for physical activity is more critical than ever, especially given its profound benefits for mental health. One of the simplest and most accessible forms of exercise—walking—is undergoing a transformation. Dubbed “enhanced walking,” this new approach is making waves for its ability to boost both physical and mental well-being. Read on to discover how to make the most of enhanced walking for your mental and physical well-being ## What is Enhanced Walking? Enhanced walking takes the basic act of walking and elevates it through the incorporation of mindfulness, technology, and structured programs. Unlike regular walking, which many of us do without much thought, enhanced walking is intentional. It combines the physical benefits of walking with mental health practices like mindfulness and the use of technology to track and optimise the experience. ## The Mental Health Benefits of Walking Walking has long been recognised for its physical benefits, but its impact on mental health is equally impressive. Here are some key benefits: 1\. Reduces Stress and Anxiety: Walking triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters. This can help reduce stress levels and alleviate anxiety. 2\. Improves Mood: Regular walking has been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and enhance overall mood. 3\. Boosts Cognitive Function: Walking increases blood flow to the brain, which can improve cognitive functions such as memory and attention. 4\. Encourages Mindfulness: When combined with mindfulness practices, walking can become a form of moving meditation, helping individuals stay present and focused. ## How to Practice Enhanced Walking 1\. Mindful Walking: Instead of letting your mind wander, focus on the sensation of each step. Notice how your body moves, the rhythm of your breath, and the sights and sounds around you. This practice can help center your thoughts and reduce stress. 2\. Tech-Assisted Walking: Utilise fitness trackers or smartphone apps to monitor your steps, distance, and heart rate. Some apps even offer guided walking meditations and personalized walking plans to help you stay motivated and engaged. 3\. Social Walking: Join a walking group or find a walking buddy. The social aspect can provide additional mental health benefits through companionship and support. 4\. Nature Walks: Walking in nature can amplify the mental health benefits. Studies have shown that spending time in green spaces can lower cortisol levels and improve mood. ## How Enhanced Walking Aligns with Wellbeing Trends In line with the recent [Amex Trendex](https://www.thenewdaily.com.au/finance/2024/02/04/australians-wellbeing-goals-2024#google_vignette) report, Australians are increasingly prioritising wellbeing over ambition in 2024. With 69% of Australians determined to be healthier and 57% aiming to improve their mental health, enhanced walking fits perfectly into these wellness goals. The report highlights that Australians are keen on sustainable practices and mindful living, both of which are integral to enhanced walking. The practice encourages spending time outdoors and incorporates mindfulness, aligning with the 55% who prioritise [better sleep](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-lifestyle-strategies-for-better-sleep-tips-from-melbourne-psychologists/ "5 Lifestyle Strategies for Better Sleep: Tips from Melbourne Psychologists") and the 41% focusing on better-organised lives. Additionally, the social and community aspects of enhanced walking resonate with the 60% of Australians planning to reconnect through experiences and live events, demonstrating a broader societal shift towards holistic wellbeing. ### Conclusion Enhanced walking is more than just a trend; it’s a powerful tool for improving mental and physical health. By making walking a mindful and intentional practice, we can reap the numerous benefits it offers. Whether you’re looking to reduce stress, improve your mood, or simply stay active, enhanced walking is an accessible and effective way to enhance your overall well-being. At The Three Seas Psychology, we encourage everyone to explore this transformative practice and experience the positive impact it can have on their lives. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Understanding Dermatillomania](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-dermatillomania/) **Published:** August 27, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** **Dermatillomania**, also known as **Excoriation Disorder** or **Skin-Picking Disorder**, is a mental health condition characterised by the repetitive picking of one’s skin, leading to skin lesions and significant distress or impairment in daily functioning. Classified under the category of “Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders” in the **DSM-5** (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition), this disorder affects approximately 1.4% to 5.4% of the population, with a higher prevalence in females. ## **What is Dermatillomania?** [Dermatillomania](https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/conditions/dermatillomania-skin-picking) involves the compulsive urge to pick at skin imperfections or perceived flaws, such as scabs, pimples, or insect bites. This behaviour can result in open wounds, scarring, and infections, and can severely impact an individual’s quality of life. The picking may occur on various parts of the body, but the face, arms, and hands are the most commonly affected areas. ## **Diagnostic Criteria for Dermatillomania (DSM-5)** According to the DSM-5, the following criteria must be met for a diagnosis of Dermatillomania: 1. **Recurrent skin picking** resulting in skin lesions. 2. **Repeated attempts to decrease or stop skin picking.** 3. The skin picking causes **clinically significant distress** or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. 4. The skin picking is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., cocaine) or another medical condition (e.g., scabies). 5. The skin picking is not better explained by symptoms of another mental disorder (e.g., delusions or tactile hallucinations in a psychotic disorder). ### **Causes of Dermatillomania** The exact cause of Dermatillomania is not fully understood, but it is believed to result from a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. Some potential contributors include: - **Genetics**: A family history of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or related conditions may increase the risk. - **Neurobiology**: Imbalances in neurotransmitters like serotonin may play a role. - **Psychological Factors**: Anxiety, stress, perfectionism, and body image issues can trigger or exacerbate the condition. - **Environmental Triggers**: Stressful life events or trauma can initiate or worsen skin-picking behaviours. ### **What Does Treatment Look Like?** Effective treatment for Dermatillomania often involves a combination of therapy, medication, and self-help strategies: 1. **Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT)**: This is the most commonly used treatment, particularly a subtype called Habit Reversal Training (HRT). CBT helps individuals recognise the triggers and thoughts that lead to picking and develop healthier coping mechanisms. 2. **Medication**: Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are commonly used to treat depression and anxiety, may be prescribed to help manage the urge to pick. 3. **Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques**: These can reduce the anxiety and stress that often precede or accompany skin-picking episodes. 4. **Support Groups and Foundations**: Organisations like the **Picking Me Foundation** offer resources, support, and advocacy for those affected by Dermatillomania. Founded by Angela Hartlin, a Dermatillomania sufferer herself, the Picking Me Foundation aims to raise awareness, provide education, and connect individuals with the tools and support needed to manage the disorder. **The Role of the Picking Me Foundation** The [**Picking Me Foundation**](https://pickingme.org) is a pivotal organisation dedicated to providing support and raising awareness about Dermatillomania. Through education, advocacy, and peer support, the foundation helps individuals feel less isolated in their struggles and encourages them to seek appropriate treatment. The foundation offers a range of resources, including online support groups, educational materials, and outreach programs designed to destigmatise the condition and empower those affected. **Conclusion** Dermatillomania is a challenging condition that requires a compassionate and comprehensive approach to treatment. If you or someone you know is struggling with skin-picking behaviours, it’s essential to seek professional help. The Three Seas Psychology is here to support you with evidence-based treatments tailored to your individual needs. Remember, you’re not alone—resources like the Picking Me Foundation and professional [therapeutic interventions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalysis-psychodynamic-therapy-in-melbourne/ "Psychoanalysis & Psychodynamic Therapy in Melbourne") can make a significant difference in managing this disorder and improving your quality of life. ***I confirm the subscription of this blog to the Paperblog service under the username thethreeseas*** ». **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Autism Spectrum Disorder Assessments at The Three Seas](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/autism-spectrum-disorder-assessments-at-the-three-seas/) **Published:** October 8, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and the Importance of Assessment** At The Three Seas Psychology, we provide comprehensive Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) assessments led by our experienced psychologist, [Narisa Vormwald](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/narisa-vormwald/ "DR. NARISA VORMWALD – Richmond & Telehealth"). With a focus on delivering personalised, professional care, our assessments are designed to help individuals gain clarity and understanding of their needs. ## What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)? [Autism Spectrum Disorder](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/autism) (ASD) is a developmental condition that affects communication, behaviour, and social interactions. Individuals with ASD may face difficulties in understanding social cues, forming relationships, and navigating day-to-day tasks. The term “spectrum” highlights that autism affects individuals differently; while some people may have significant challenges, others may have milder symptoms or strengths in certain areas, like memory or attention to detail. ASD is not limited to children; it can affect individuals of all ages. Early signs of autism in children often include delayed speech, repetitive behaviours, or difficulty in understanding social interactions. In adults, the signs may be subtler, such as difficulty maintaining relationships, challenges with employment, or struggling with unspoken social rules. ## What’s the Difference between Child and Adult Autism? While autism is a lifelong condition, it can present differently in children compared to adults. In children, autism is often identified through developmental milestones, such as delayed speech, limited eye contact, and repetitive play. Paediatricians or teachers may be the first to notice signs that prompt further evaluation. In adults, autism may have been undiagnosed during childhood, particularly for those who have learned to mask their symptoms. For adults, the struggles may center around maintaining relationships, handling social anxiety, or navigating work environments. Many adults with ASD have found ways to cope or adapt, but an official diagnosis can help them understand their unique challenges and identify support options. ### How is ASD Diagnosed? An Autism Spectrum Disorder assessment is a comprehensive evaluation conducted by a trained psychologist. At The Three Seas Psychology, our assessments include a range of tests, interviews, and observations to determine if an individual meets the criteria for a diagnosis of autism. This involves exploring the person’s developmental history, current behaviours, and how they function in different areas of life, such as school, work, or relationships. The assessment process with Narisa Vormwald takes about four hours and includes: - A thorough evaluation of communication, social skills, and behavioural patterns. - A detailed report summarising the findings, typically delivered within two weeks. - A 30-minute Telehealth session to review the results and discuss next steps. ### Why is an ASD Assessment Beneficial? An ASD diagnosis can provide significant benefits for both children and adults. For many, receiving an accurate diagnosis is a relief, bringing clarity to long-standing questions or confusion about their behaviours and experiences. Knowing that you or your loved one is on the autism spectrum can: - Help inform personalised support strategies. - Unlock access to services and accommodations in educational or workplace settings. - Improve self-awareness and understanding, leading to better coping mechanisms. For parents, an early ASD diagnosis can lead to targeted interventions that support their child’s development. For adults, it can help improve their quality of life, offering validation and the chance to access tailored therapy or support networks. ### The Structure of the ASD Assessment Our ASD assessment, led by Narisa Vormwald, is thorough and designed to capture a complete understanding of the individual. The process typically includes: 1. A 4-hour assessment session (with a 1-hour break), where Narisa evaluates communication, social skills, and behavioural patterns. 2. A detailed report outlining the findings, which can be used for educational or workplace accommodations or supporting NDIS applications. 3. A follow-up Telehealth session to discuss the results and provide guidance on next steps. We recognise that the input of loved ones can provide valuable context to the assessment. With your consent, Narisa may involve family members or close friends in the process. Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) through a comprehensive assessment can provide valuable insights, whether for yourself or a loved one. It helps to clarify unique strengths and challenges, enabling more informed decisions about support and strategies. At The Three Seas Psychology, we believe that understanding is the first step toward meaningful growth, and an ASD assessment is a key part of that journey. With the right information, individuals and families can move forward with greater confidence and clarity. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Grounding Mats and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/grounding-mats-and-mental-health/) **Published:** October 17, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** In recent years, grounding mats have gained attention in wellness circles, with claims of benefits ranging from better sleep to enhanced mental clarity. As a psychology-focused practice, it’s essential to approach these trends with a critical eye and provide evidence-based insights to help individuals make informed decisions about their health and wellbeing. In this post, we’ll explore what grounding mats are, the theory behind them, and whether they hold true potential for improving mental health. ## What Are Grounding Mats? Grounding mats, also known as earthing mats, are devices designed to simulate the experience of physically grounding oneself by connecting to the Earth’s natural electrical energy. Typically used indoors, these mats are connected to a grounded outlet and aim to replicate the effect of walking barefoot on the ground—a practice long believed to have health benefits. The concept of grounding is rooted in the idea that modern lifestyles have disconnected us from the Earth’s energy, contributing to physical and mental health challenges. Proponents of grounding argue that by restoring this connection through direct skin contact with a grounding mat, we can neutralise free radicals, reduce inflammation, and experience various other health benefits, including improvements in mental wellbeing. ## The Theory Behind Grounding and Mental Health The science of grounding rests on the idea that the Earth carries a negative electrical charge. When we come into direct contact with the Earth, or through grounding mats, our bodies can absorb this energy, which is believed to have a stabilising effect on our biological systems. One study, published in [*Frontiers in Physiology*](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9855809/), suggests that grounding can positively affect mood and mental clarity due to its influence on inflammation and cortisol regulation—the hormone related to stress responses. Cortisol dysregulation is often associated with anxiety, depression, and poor sleep, so the potential for grounding mats to impact these systems is of interest. Other sources, such as [*Healthline*](https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding), explain that proponents of grounding claim benefits ranging from reduced stress and anxiety to improved sleep quality. The hypothesis is that by grounding, people may experience a calming effect, potentially reducing hyperarousal—an issue frequently seen in those with anxiety disorders. ## A Critical View: Do Grounding Mats Have Real Mental Health Benefits? While the theory of grounding mats is intriguing, it’s important to critically evaluate the evidence. Some studies and anecdotal reports indicate benefits, but the scientific community remains divided. Research supporting grounding mats often comes from small, preliminary studies that lack the rigour needed for widespread clinical recommendations. A detailed review in the [*Journal of Inflammation Research*](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9855809/) points out that while there are claims of physiological and psychological improvements, much of the research on grounding lacks large-scale, controlled trials to conclusively prove its efficacy. Moreover, many studies focus on physical health, such as inflammation and pain relief, rather than directly addressing mental health outcomes. Grounding practices have been shown to lower cortisol levels in some small studies, but the effects on mental health, especially regarding chronic conditions like depression or [generalised anxiety disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/generalised-anxiety-disorder/ "Generalised Anxiety Disorder"), remain uncertain. Larger clinical trials with rigorous methodologies are required before grounding mats can be confidently recommended as an effective mental health intervention. ### Psychological Impact and The Power of Belief From a psychological perspective, grounding mats may offer mental health benefits even if the mechanism isn’t directly related to electrical grounding. The placebo effect, or the power of belief in a treatment, could play a role in why some individuals report feeling calmer and more relaxed after using a grounding mat. The ritual of using the mat might encourage mindfulness, much like meditation or deep breathing exercises, both of which are well-documented for their positive impact on mental health. ### Grounding Mats in Mental Wellbeing While grounding mats are a growing trend in wellness, the science supporting their use for mental health remains inconclusive. Individuals who feel benefits from using grounding mats may be experiencing a combination of the placebo effect, relaxation, and stress relief, similar to other wellness practices. However, until larger, more rigorous studies are conducted, grounding mats should be considered a supplementary tool rather than a primary treatment for mental health concerns. A holistic approach to mental health integrates evidence-based practices such as therapy, mindfulness, and lifestyle changes. Grounding mats may offer a sense of calm for some individuals, but they should be approached with a critical mindset, particularly when addressing serious mental health conditions. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How to Help Someone Who Is Struggling with Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-help-someone-who-is-struggling-with-depression/) **Published:** December 3, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **A Guide to Support and Treatment of Depression** Depression is a widespread mental health condition that affects millions of people globally. For those in Australia, particularly in cities like Melbourne, finding the right support and treatment for depression can be life-changing. It’s not just the individuals experiencing depression who are impacted; their loved ones often struggle to know how to provide meaningful assistance. If someone you care about is battling depression, you may feel unsure of how best to offer support. This article outlines practical steps to help someone with depression while also exploring effective treatment options, including where to seek depression help in Melbourne. ### **Recognising the Signs of Depression** Before you can provide meaningful support, it’s important to recognise the [signs of depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/ "Understanding Depression and Treatment Options"). This condition can present as persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, low energy, difficulty concentrating, or noticeable changes in appetite or sleep patterns. These symptoms typically last for at least two weeks and often disrupt daily life. If you notice these changes in someone you care about, approaching the situation with understanding and compassion is the first step towards helping them access treatment for depression. ### **How to Support Someone Struggling with Depression** 1. **Listen Without Judgement** Offering a listening ear without interrupting or passing judgement can provide immense relief to someone who feels isolated. Sometimes, simply being there is enough to help them feel supported. 2. **Encourage Open Communication** Gently encourage your loved one to share how they’re feeling. Avoid pushing them to open up if they’re not ready, but let them know you’re there whenever they feel comfortable talking. 3. **Educate Yourself About Depression** Understanding what depression is and how it affects individuals will allow you to offer better support. Knowledge about the condition and its treatments will also make it easier to encourage your loved one to seek professional depression help in Melbourne or their local area. 4. **Offer Practical Assistance** Depression often makes everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Offering to assist with chores, run errands, or attend appointments with them can be an invaluable source of support. 5. **Encourage Professional Help** While your support is crucial, professional treatment is often essential for managing depression. Suggest that they see a psychologist or GP to explore options for treatment for depression, such as therapy or medication. If they’re based in Melbourne, you can help them research reputable providers like The Three Seas Psychology. 6. **Be Patient** Recovery from depression isn’t always straightforward, and progress can take time. Maintaining a patient, supportive approach will reassure your loved one that they are not alone, even during setbacks. ### **Exploring Treatment for Depression** Effective treatment for depression often involves a tailored approach that addresses the individual’s unique needs. Common treatments include: 1. **Psychological Therapy** Therapy is one of the most effective ways to treat depression. At The Three Seas Psychology, we offer evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which focuses on challenging negative thought patterns, and Schema Therapy, which addresses deep-rooted emotional difficulties. 2. **Medication** In some cases, antidepressant medication may be recommended. This should always be prescribed and monitored by a qualified healthcare professional. 3. **Lifestyle Adjustments** Incorporating regular exercise, a balanced diet, and consistent sleep patterns into daily life can help improve mental health. These small changes can complement professional treatment for depression. 4. **Support Groups** Depression can feel isolating, but connecting with others who have similar experiences can be incredibly comforting. Support groups offer a safe space to share and learn. ### **What Not to Do When Helping Someone with Depression** It’s important to avoid certain behaviours, even if they’re well-intentioned: - **Don’t minimise their feelings.** Comments like “It’s not that bad” or “Cheer up” can be dismissive and hurtful. - **Avoid acting as their therapist.** While your support is valuable, professional depression help is essential for recovery. - **Don’t push positivity.** Trying to “fix” their mood with overly optimistic statements may make them feel misunderstood. ### **When to Seek Emergency Help** If someone expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take it seriously and act immediately. In Australia, you can contact [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.au) on 13 11 14 for 24/7 support or visit the nearest emergency department. ### **Finding Depression Help in Melbourne** Melbourne is home to many excellent mental health services, including The Three Seas Psychology. If you or your loved one is seeking professional depression help, we provide personalised, evidence-based treatments in a safe and supportive environment. ### **Final Thoughts** Supporting someone with depression can be challenging, but your efforts to listen, assist, and encourage professional treatment make a significant difference. By offering empathy and helping them access the right resources, such as professional depression help in Melbourne, you can play a vital role in their journey to recovery. If you’re ready to explore treatment options, contact The Three Seas Psychology today. We’re here to help. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Psychological Strategies for New Year’s Resolutions Success](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychological-strategies-for-new-years-resolutions-success/) **Published:** December 31, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** As 31st December dawns, many of us reflect on the past year and set intentions for the future. New Year’s resolutions offer a structured opportunity for self-improvement, but studies indicate that up to 70% of these resolutions are abandoned within months. To enhance the likelihood of success, it’s beneficial to ground our resolutions in psychological principles. ## **Understanding the Psychological Drive Behind Resolutions** Setting New Year’s resolutions aligns with our intrinsic needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness, as outlined in self-determination theory. This alignment fosters a sense of purpose and motivation, essential for pursuing and achieving our goals. ### **Strategies for Crafting Effective New Year’s Resolutions** 1. **Set Specific and Achievable Goals**: Vague resolutions like “get healthier” can be overwhelming. Instead, specify actions such as “exercise for 30 minutes three times a week.” This clarity transforms aspirations into actionable steps. 2. **Employ Implementation Intentions**: Formulate resolutions as if-then statements to create automatic responses to specific situations. For example, “If I feel stressed, then I will practise deep breathing for five minutes.” This technique leverages the brain’s natural tendency to form habits, increasing the likelihood of adherence. 3. **Focus on Positive Behaviours**: Instead of concentrating on avoiding negative behaviours, emphasise adopting positive ones. For instance, rather than resolving to “stop eating junk food,” commit to “include at least one serving of vegetables in every meal.” This positive framing can enhance motivation and persistence. 4. **Involve Social Support**: Sharing your goals with friends or family can provide accountability and encouragement. Engaging in activities with others, such as joining a fitness class, can also increase commitment and enjoyment. 5. **Practise Self-Compassion**: Recognise that setbacks are a natural part of behaviour change. Treat yourself with kindness and understand that perfection is unattainable. This approach reduces self-criticism and promotes [resilience](https://thethreeseas.com.au/personal-resilience/ "Personal Resilience"), enabling you to continue pursuing your goals despite challenges. ### **The Role of Habit Formation in New Year’s** Resolutions Understanding that behaviour change involves altering existing habits or forming new ones is crucial. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for willpower, plays a significant role in this process. However, willpower is a limited resource. By creating specific action triggers and treating goals as programmes to foster new automatic behaviours, you can work with your brain’s natural tendencies to establish lasting change. #### **Conclusion** Grounding your New Year’s resolutions in psychological principles can significantly enhance their effectiveness. By setting specific, achievable goals, employing implementation intentions, focusing on positive behaviours, involving social support, and practising self-compassion, you can increase your chances of making lasting changes in the coming year. Here’s to a successful and fulfilling 2025! **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Understanding Childhood Trauma](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-childhood-trauma/) **Published:** March 5, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **The Role of a Childhood Trauma Psychologist** Childhood trauma can have a lasting impact on an individual’s mental and emotional well-being. Whether stemming from abuse, neglect, loss, or other distressing experiences, trauma in early years can shape how a person interacts with the world well into adulthood. A childhood trauma psychologist plays a crucial role in helping individuals process these experiences, develop coping mechanisms, and foster resilience. ## **What is Childhood Trauma?** Childhood trauma refers to any distressing or harmful event that occurs during a child’s formative years. This can include: - **Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse** - **Neglect or abandonment** - **Witnessing domestic violence** - **Loss of a parent or loved one** - **Bullying or social rejection** - **Natural disasters or accidents** - **Medical trauma or serious illness** Children who experience these traumatic events may struggle with trust, self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues later in life. ## **How Trauma Affects Children and Adults** Childhood trauma can manifest in various ways, including behavioral, emotional, and physiological symptoms. Some common signs include: - **Emotional dysregulation** – Frequent mood swings, aggression, or withdrawal. - **Anxiety and depression** – Persistent fear, sadness, or hopelessness. - **Difficulties in relationships** – Struggles with trust, attachment, and interpersonal connections. - **Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)** – Flashbacks, nightmares, or heightened alertness. - **Self-harm or risky behavior** – Engaging in dangerous activities as a coping mechanism. If left unaddressed, these symptoms can continue into adulthood, affecting work, relationships, and overall quality of life. ### **How a Childhood Trauma Psychologist Can Help** A childhood trauma psychologist specialises in diagnosing and treating individuals affected by early-life trauma. Through evidence-based approaches, they help patients navigate their emotions, reframe negative thought patterns, and develop healthy coping strategies. Some common therapeutic approaches include: - **Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT):** Helps individuals recognise and change harmful thought patterns and behaviours. - **Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT):** Specifically designed for children and adolescents to process traumatic experiences. - **Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR):** Reduces the distress associated with traumatic memories through guided eye movements. - **Play Therapy:** Utilises creative expression to help children communicate and process their emotions. - **Attachment-Based Therapy:** Focuses on building secure and healthy relationships to repair trust and emotional bonds. ### **Finding the Right Childhood Trauma Psychologist** If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of childhood trauma, seeking professional help is essential. A qualified childhood trauma psychologist will: - Offer a safe and supportive space for healing. - Tailor therapy approaches to meet individual needs. - Provide tools and resources to foster resilience and emotional well-being. - Work with families to create a nurturing and understanding environment. ### **The Three Seas Psychology Supporting Trauma Recovery** If you’re seeking support for yourself or a loved one, [**contact** ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us")The Three Seas Psychology today to schedule a consultation. Healing from childhood trauma is possible with the right guidance and support. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [SUPPORT MOVEMBER](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/movember/) **Published:** November 1, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Tom Selleck, David Boon, Errol Flynn, Ron Bergundy, Borat… They may not have invented the moustache but the duo who invented Movember have certainly brought it back to life! You might not know this but Movember was founded in a pub in Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, with two mates having a chat about how they could bring back the moustache. That’s right – Movember is a Melbourne thing! The two friends came up with the idea of rebranding the month of November, as ‘no’ was such a negative way to start a month anyway. They challenged some mates with an email: *“Are you man enough to be my man?*” and 30 said yes. The original beneficiaries of their efforts were the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia (PCFA), but they have now diversified their help into mental health. Movember started back in 2003, a lot has happened since then. There have been 4,027,688 Mo Bros and Mo Sistas . They have raised some $580 million and backed 770 men’s health projects since 2003. The concept has gone global with hairy top lips and money also being raised all over the world. And us Aussies aren’t the number one ticket holders for the moustache – the Canadians love them even more than us! The Three Seas love Movember and we encourage you to support any of your friends or family that are looking silly for a reason this month. Dig deep and remember the purpose behind the mo – men’s health. As a segue between the mo and the important and serious topic of mental health in men, here are three famous mo bros who have been man enough to talk about their battle with and recovery from [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) and a couple who very sadly didn’t make it. Jon Hamm was only 20 when his father died, and this event sent him into the abyss of depression. It is very common for major events to be a trigger for depression. Luckily he sought help and with [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) and antidepressant medication he was able to get back on track and become the superstar we all know and love. Owen Wilson’s on-screen personas didn’t give any indication that he might be capable of attempting to take his own life. But that’s the thing with depression: people you know very well can hide their mental health issues and sometimes, like Owen, if they’re using drugs and alcohol too, it can all just become too much and they can decide they don’t want to go on. Visit our Signs of Depression page to learn more about what to look for if you’re worried about a friend or family member. For David Arquette, alcohol abuse was at the heart of his depression. His separation from his wife Courteney Cox, again a major life event, triggered the sadness and he used the alcohol to dull the pain. Once he broke the cycle of alcohol abuse, he was able to conquer the depression. ![Movember1](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Movember1.jpg) ![Movember2](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Movember2.jpg) ![Movember3](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Movember3.jpg) Unfortunately for everyone, our very own Heath Ledger who had been troubled with depression, anxiety and insomnia, overdosed on a cocktail of sleeping pills, painkillers, and anxiety drugs. The rich and famous, are no more immune to the triggers of depression than anyone else, and after his breakup with actress Michelle Williams, the mother of his then two-year-old daughter, Heath began the familiar spiral down. If only he had sought counselling from a professional [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) instead of self-medication, we might have been watching his enormous talents for many years to come. Similarly tragic was the loss of Robin Williams to suicide. Williams, the ever exuberant and much loved international superstar comedian, was battling depression, alcoholism and also suffered delusions and paranoia brought on by his Parkinson’s disease. No one could have predicted he would take his own life. As a society, we have a long way to go before men feel ready to reach out and accept help about their mental health in the same way as they would about their physical health. We say “go Movember! Keep up the good work of raising the awareness on mental health and also all the useful cash! We love you!” ![Movember4](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Movember4.jpg) ![Movember5](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Movember5.jpg) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Addictions, Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Eating Disorders, Anger Counselling, Sexuality, Couples and Families, Corporate & Eap, Individual --- ### [Children diagnosed with depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/childrendiagnosedwithdepression/) **Published:** November 4, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** A new study suggests that children who were diagnosed with depression between the ages of 3-6 have a smaller brain region involved in emotion than those who were not depressed. ![news3](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/news3.jpg) *In the latest study, the anterior insula (red) on each side of the brain was smaller in preschool kids diagnosed with depression and those who experienced excessive guilt at early ages. Image credit: Early Emotional Development Program/Washington University in St. Louis* The researchers – led by Andrew Belden, assistant professor of child psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, MO – say their findings could help predict the risk of future depression, giving them an “anatomical marker” to use for those at high risk. The area of the brain they focused on is the right anterior insula; each side of the brain has an insula, a key brain area involved in emotion, perception, self-awareness and cognitive function. #### Preschool Depression Study To conduct their study, the team followed 306 children for 3 years as they aged from 3-6, as part of the Preschool Depression Study. They assessed the children for depression and guilt each year. In addition, all children had MRI brain scans every 18 months from the ages of 7-13. A total of 47 children received a depression diagnosis during their preschool years, while 82 were definitively identified as not having depression. Of those with depression, 55% showed signs of pathological guilt, while 20% of the non-depressed children had “excessive guilt.” The researchers explain that pathological guilt can be a symptom of clinical depression and other psychiatric disorders, such as anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and bipolar disorder. “A child with pathological guilt can walk into a room and see a broken lamp, for example,” Belden says, “and even if the child didn’t break it, he or she will start apologizing. Even after being told he or she is not at fault, the child will continue to apologize and feel bad.” But he adds that the important question is whether depressed children are more prone to guilt or whether children prone to guilt are more likely to be depressed. #### **Kids with smaller right insula more likely to be depressed when older** Results of the long-term study revealed that children with a smaller right insula were more likely to experience repeated bouts of clinical depression as they got older. The team also discovered that children diagnosed with pathological guilt between the ages of 3-6 have a smaller insula, which offers evidence that excessive guilt is a symptom of depression and is linked to the size of the insula. “That doesn’t come as a complete surprise,” says Belden, “because for many years now, excessive guilt has consistently predicted depression and has been a significant outcome associated with depression.” Belden adds: “Arguably, our findings would suggest that guilt early in life predicts insula shrinkage. I think the story is beginning to emerge that depression may predict changes in the brain, and these brain changes predict risk for recurrence.” So what does this mean for preschoolers with depression? The researchers note that though some children experience depression and recover, never experiencing another episode, other children experience chronic depression. As such, Belden says it is important to identify those at risk for the latter trajectory of depression. #### **Study is ongoing** Other studies show that depressed adults have a smaller insula compared to their non-depressed peers. A previous study conducted by Washington University School of Medicine found that depressed preschoolers were 2.5 times more likely to experience clinical depression in elementary and middle school than their non-depressed peers. Researchers plan to extend the study for 5 more years to track subjects through adolescence, a high-risk period for depression. Belden also aims to follow them into adulthood, exploring the effects of common adolescent challenges like substance abuse alongside clinical depression. For now, however, their latest study is the first to examine changes in the anterior insula as a potential biomarker for the trajectory of childhood major depressive disorder, results of which could help psychiatrists better understand the course of depression throughout an individual’s life. *Medical News Today* recently reported on a study that suggested stressed girls with a family history of depression may age faster than those without a family history of the illness. Written by Marie Ellis Ref: ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Here's one for chocoholics to chew on...](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/chocolate-effect-on-memory/) **Published:** November 7, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Excerpt:** gfd gdf gfdg dfg dfg fdg **Content:** After consuming drinks enriched with compounds found in cocoa beans for three months, the performance of people aged 50 to 69 on a memory test was akin to someone several decades younger. Problem is, if you want such a benefit from eating chocolate, you would have to eat staggering amounts. The small study is the latest to suggest that chemicals in cocoa called flavanols can have beneficial effects on the brain. Flavanols are a type of chemical found naturally in cocoa beans, blueberries, green tea and red wine. Previous studies have suggested that mice on a flavanol-rich diet showed enhanced memory and greater blood flow to certain areas of the brain. Scott Small, a neurologist at Columbia University in New York City, wanted to see what affect a similar regime might have on the human brain. To find out, his team instructed 19 volunteers aged 50 to 69 to drink 900 milligrams a day of powdered cocoa flavanols mixed with water or milk. This dosage was spread over two drinks each day. Another 18 people had to drink a similar beverage that contained just 10 milligrams of the compounds. Before and after the three months, people in both groups underwent fMRI scans. Comparing the scans revealed that after the regime, the high-dose flavanol drinkers had about 20 per cent more blood flowing to a particular section of their hippocampi, called the dentate gyrus, than they did before. The high-dose drinkers also had about this much more blood flow to the dentate gyrus than the low-flavanol group. Intriguingly, this region has been linked to age-related memory decline in people. Now you see it In addition, each person had to complete a memory test before and after the three-months. In each test, participants were shown 41 similar, abstract shapes, one after the other. Once these had all been presented, they were shown 82 more shapes and had to identify the ones they had seen before. Previous work by Small’s team has shown that from their twenties onwards, adults’ reaction times to identifying previously seen shapes decrease with age, by about 220 milliseconds for each decade of age. On average, the high-flavanol group reacted to each shape 630 milliseconds faster than the low-dose group. This is equivalent to the high-dose group performing as though they were three decades younger than the low-dose group. But don’t start stocking up on Mars bars just yet, cautions Small. “Yes, these flavanols exist in chocolate, but in a very miniscule amount,” he says. “You would have to consume so much chocolate to get it that you would damage your health.” Public health issue “Society is ageing, and we are always looking for interventions to delay the decline in cognition that goes with this,” says neurologist Madhav Thambisettyat Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore, Maryland. “This study tackles what is a fundamental public health problem.” He says he would like to see what affect drinking flavanols has on other types of memory test in a larger study – which is what Small plans to do next. Sebastian Jessberger at the University of Zurich in Switzerland agrees that more work is needed to tease out what the flavanols are doing. For example, he points out that it would be good to find out how long the effect on memory lasts, how much is needed to be effective, and if the compounds are causing changes in other parts of the body. “It’s naive to think that you take a drug or a compound and there’s only one area where something is changing,” says Jessberger. Ref: ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [UNIVERSAL CHILDREN'S DAY](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/universalchildrensday/) **Published:** November 8, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** “We were all children once. And we all share the desire for the well-being of our children, which has always been and will continue to be the most universally cherished aspiration of humankind.” *We the Children: End-decade review of the follow-up to the World Summit for Children Report of the Secretary-General (2001)* Since 1954, 20th November has been Universal Children’s Day. The date marks the day on which the UN General Assembly adopted the Declaration of the Rights of the Child, in 1959, and the Convention on the Rights of the Child, in 1989. The Three Seas Psychology Group are in full support of the ethos behind this yearly event. The importance of childhood is now well known from a psychological perspective, this is when the brain lays its foundations. The relationship a child has with its family from the beginning of it’s life make a huge difference to this development. Negative experiences like neglect or abuse contribute to the sorts of behavioural issues we see here on a daily basis. Our country is a wonderful place and we enjoy stable, economically prosperous times. This trickles down for most of our children to enjoy too. However, not for all, some of our youngest and most vulnerable populations are simply not seen nor heard. UNICEF research shows that 10.9 per cent of children in Australia live in relative poverty. The most at-risk groups are Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children, children in out-of-home care and children of asylum seekers. These children are often woefully below the barest of standards of health and nutrition. Along with nutrition and health, the way a child is cared for greatly influences the immature brain’s development. Literally trillions of neural connections are made during this period and the experiences and relationships that the baby has directly affect whether the brain develops in the right way. If you feel like making a contribution as part of Universal Children’s Day, to the support of our children, UNICEF Australia advocates on behalf of all children in Australia and works to ensure the government is held to account. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Eating Disorders, Couples and Families --- ### [The Australian Psychological Society](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/australian-psychological-society/) **Published:** November 10, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** For the third year, the Australian Psychological Society – representing more than 21,000 members around Australia – commissioned a survey to examine the stress and wellbeing of Australian adults (aged 18 and over) across the nation. This year the survey included a special focus on working Australians. Key survey findings - In 2013, Australians reported significantly lower levels of wellbeing and significantly higher levels of stress and distress than in 2012 and 2011. - Almost three-quarters of Australians (73%) reported that stress was having at least some impact with almost one in five (17%) reporting that stress was having a strong to very strong impact on their physical health. - In 2013, significantly more Australians (65% 2013 vs. 60% 2012) reported that current stress was affecting their mental health, with one in five people reporting it had a strong to very strong impact on their mental health. - One in four (24%) Australians reported mental health issues as a source of stress. - Significantly more Australians reported visiting social networking sites, eating or sleeping more to manage stress than in previous years. - Finances, family and health issues continued to rank as the top causes of stress for Australians. - Working Australians reported significantly lower overall workplace wellbeing in 2013 compared with findings in previous years. - Working Australians reported significantly lower levels of job satisfaction and significantly lower levels of interest in their jobs than in the previous two years. - Generally, working women were significantly more likely than working men to report that they felt valued and supported to do their job. - Women were significantly more likely than men to report being involved in their job. Ref: ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Christmas and families don't always mix well.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/xmas-and-families-dont-always-mix/) **Published:** December 12, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Getting along with your family can be tricky at the best of times. Tension and conflict between family members is quite common, especially at this end-of-year holiday period. Around this time of year, many individuals can feel worn out from a stressful year and the added pressure of needing to be here there and everywhere can add fuel to the fire. So what can you do to ensure you have a happier, healthier holiday period this year? Holiday stress can be caused by a number of things. It is important to understand what it is that gets you down about the holidays. Do you find the holidays remind you of unpleasant experiences from your past? Is there a reason you’ve been avoiding your family for the other 364 days of the year? Do you find your relatives toxic or unbearable? Sometimes the holidays can be a strong reminder of the undesirable changes we’ve faced, such as a divorce or the loss of a loved one. Comparisons between how things are now and how they used to be are common around significant dates, especially over the holiday period. It can be all too much to remember the people who aren’t with us on this special day. On the other hand, perhaps being reminded of what hasn’t changed can be the source of stress and upset over the holidays. It can be easy to criticise others or ourselves when we have such strong recollections of how dissatisfyingly similar things were ‘this time last year’. To notice that something we had wished would change hasn’t, can be flattening. It becomes increasingly difficult to deal with any or all of these stressors at a time when we are less likely to be looking after ourselves (eating poorly, drinking more, sleeping less) and feeling rundown after a long year. For some people, family gatherings can be a great source of stress and anxiety. Pre-existing conflict and tension can be highlighted when everyone gets together. It is common for old sibling rivalries to arise and parents to treat their adult children as small children again. When the family gathers together, people can easily slip into our old family roles. Maybe your older brother becomes the self-involved show-off he was in high school, maybe your younger sister withdraws and seems disinterested, or maybe you act like a rebellious teen. Research suggests that conflict between siblings or within the parent-child relationship should be more expected than unexpected when the family collides. Although incompatibilities within a family can be common and we all go through periods of conflict, the holiday time can really exacerbate tension. It is important to look after yourself and put some protective practices in place so that you can best enjoy your holiday time. Here are 7 tips: 1. Be realistic- if you have long-standing history of tension or conflict with someone in your family, don’t expect that miracles will happen just because it’s Christmas. In fact, given everyone is likely to be as stressed and worn out as you are, it may be more realistic to expect the worst. 2. Drive safely and plan your day wisely- try to avoid long drives or tight schedules that require you to race around. Be realistic about advising your arrival time if you are travelling and allow yourself enough time to get between events. 3. Put your health first- in the weeks leading up to Christmas make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy and not over-doing the festivities. The pressure to attend every event and please everyone else often overrides the need to look after you. 4. Practice saying no- if you do not want to do something or you feel burdened by an invitation, practice saying “no thank you”. Like putting your health first, we must practice putting our mental health first, too. No invitation or other person is more important than you are to you! So be kind to yourself- say no to that dinner with your cousins and have a night in, if you need. Listen to yourself. 5. Be mindful of others- it can be very easy to get caught up in the commotion and tensions that arise when everyone is together. Try to remind yourself that everyone is likely to be stressed too and not to take things too personally. Remember we cannot change or control other people. Sometimes acceptance of others or a situation gives us the biggest relief. 6. Limit your time with the people you find toxic- if you know you feel distressed when you spend too much time with certain people, limit your availability to them. Don’t be afraid to leave a family lunch early. Tell your family you have somewhere else to be before the event so that you have an early exit plan. 7. Set up support systems- invite a friend to your family event. If you can’t do this, let a friend know ahead of time that you may need their support on the day of your family’s celebration. Ask the friend to keep their phone with them or organise to meet up afterwards. 8. See if you can find one thing to appreciate at this time of year and focus on that. Amidst all the conflict and drama that can occur we can also use this time to reflect on the things we are grateful for. See if you can find just one small thing that can make you smile through the difficult times. Of course some families have their own ways of coping or have already worked out how to enjoy the xmas holiday period for others its not their time of the year to celebrate. Whatever your situation, The Three Seas Team wish you seasons greetings and hope that you find some joy and time to relax over the next month or so and that your find some positive meaning in the time you spend with your family. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Improving Your Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/improving-your-relationship/) **Published:** January 15, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** **Need a Better Relationship? Five Strategies You Can Implement Now** Couples often seek relationship [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) when they’ve arrived at a place of intense hopelessness. They may no longer feel connected to one another, and may struggle to remember that spark that initially brought them together. Sometimes all you need is a little nudge in the right direction to get back on track, and relationship counselling offers precisely this. Struggling with a more serious issue? You might be surprised to learn that changing the way you [communicate](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-07-05/esther-perel-boosting-intimacy-in-long-term-relationships/102522954) and interact with one another may be all that’s necessary to get things back on track. Here are five things you can do right now that research suggests will improve your relationship. **Give More Compliments Than Criticisms** Research suggests that you should give your partner five to 10 compliments for every criticism. Most couples, though, constantly criticize one another while rarely offering a compliment. Relationship counselling helps you slow down and see how frequently you criticize your partner. From there, you’ll gain the emotional control and self-awareness to recognize when you’re being unfairly critical. This can help you offer your partner more warmth and love, which will encourage your partner to provide you with the same. **Try Something New Together** Have you and your partner lost the spark in your relationship? You might think it’s gone forever, but think again. You can regain the spark. Several studies have shown that couples who do new things together report more feelings of excitement and romantic love. [Couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/service/couples-counselling/) can help you overcome any roadblocks to trying new things. For example, if your spouse is itching to go hiking but you’re afraid of wild animals, your therapist can help you find a compromise. Conversely, if you feel jaded and are worried that there’s nothing new under the sun for either of you, your counsellor can help you brainstorm new ways to have fun and be in love. **Turn Toward One Another** You may not realize it, but your partner often makes bids for your attention – by telling you a story, looking at you, complimenting you, or even by being mean. When a partner’s bids for attention are constantly rejected, the relationship can quickly deteriorate. To get back the spark and end the endless fighting, you and your partner need to get better at addressing one anther’s bids for attention. Oftentimes all this requires is simply slowing down and noticing what your partner needs. Likewise, happy relationships are those in which partners turn toward one another during times of stress. Many couples, though, avoid seeking support from one another because history suggests doing so is dangerous. Your counsellor will work with you to unpack the obstacles to turning toward one another. For example, if your spouse is excessively critical of your emotions, your counsellor can work with her to help her understand how this shuts down communication and destroys intimacy. Over time, this can help both of you rely on one another as strong sources of support, comfort, and love. **Know Your Partner** When you live with someone day after day, week after week, year after year, it’s easy to see that person as stagnant and unchanging. But we are all constantly evolving and changing, and the person you married five or 10 years ago may not be anything like the person you’re with today. Research has repeatedly demonstrated that happy couples know one another well, carefully keeping track of mutual growth, personality changes, life events, and changing interests. Ask yourself: Can you name major events in your spouse’s life? Do you know his or her fears, hopes, dreams, and hobbies? Do you understand why he or she likes the things he or she does? What is your partner’s favorite sexual fantasy? What’s stressing him or her out the most right now? If you can’t easily and correctly answer these questions, then you and your spouse have got some talking to do! Relationship counselling helps you get to know your partner once again. And if there’s anything there you don’t like – such as a changing sexual fantasy, a new hobby, or a changed political belief – your counsellor can help you learn to appreciate your differences, even if you don’t always understand them. Further, counselling encourages you to keep getting to know one another, by asking probing questions, listening with an open mind, and showing genuine interest for the rest of your lives together. **Understand the Different Types of Problems** Marriage counselling can help you understand the difference between and directly address both solvable and unsolvable problems. Solvable problems are often the source of petty ongoing disputes. They include specific behaviours your partner can change, such as the way he cleans the house, how he kisses you, or what words he uses to describe your relationship. Identifying these solvable problems and implementing specific behavioural changes is key to making progress in your relationship. But what about unsolvable problems? Famed relationship researcher John Gottman argues that every relationship has some unsolvable problems. This doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed to fail. Instead, it means that every couple faces some issues over which they will continue to have conflict. If you’re an extrovert and your spouse is a homebody, for example, this probably qualifies as an unsolvable problem. Unsolvable problems can be managed by making accommodations, consistently negotiating and renegotiating the rules of your relationship, and gaining an understanding of and respect for the differences between you and your partner. It’s not always easy to do what’s right for your relationship. If you find that you’re struggling to implement these changes on your own, this could signal a need for relationship counselling. You may be surprised to see how quickly a good counsellor can make a big difference. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Relationship Traps](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/relationship-traps/) **Published:** January 15, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** **Four Choices That Can Ruin Your Relationship** No one embarks on a new relationship hoping to wreck their well-being and their partner’s. But all too often, that’s exactly what we do. The bad habits you learn in one relationship tend to carry over into the next, and your parent’s relationship style can affect the way you behave in your relationship for the rest of your life. It’s common to be blind to these habits. In fact, many couples are engaged in ongoing disputes about whether a problem actually exists! Your spouse might loathe your constant criticism, while you struggle to accept that you’ve ever been critical at all. The reason for this is simple: our habits are a part of who we are. Like the fish who never notices the water in which he swims, our habits feel normal and comfortable to us – even when they hurt others. Famed relationship researcher John Gottman has dedicated a lifetime to studying habits in relationships. His research has been so effective that he can now predict divorce with near-100% accuracy by just spending a few minutes with a couple. How could this be? According to Gottman, there are four habits that can instantly kill a relationship. While it’s possible to eliminate these habits through couples [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), couples who persist with these dangerous choices are headed straight for divorce court. If you need help with these relationship habits, [relationship counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/service/couples-counselling/) may be your best bet. **Criticism** Healthy criticism is a normal and necessary component of marriage. Your spouse needs to know if she hurts your feelings or if you prefer a different sexual approach. Some criticism, though, is the death knell for a healthy and happy coupling. When you attack your partner’s personality or character, you’re directly endangering your relationship. Examples of such damaging criticism include: Excessive nit-picking; it’s fine to raise an issue every now and again, but Gottman has found that couples must offer five to 10 compliments for every criticism to remain happy. Name-calling. Hurling insults. Attributing motives. Say, “I feel neglected when you don’t take the trash out” instead of saying, “You didn’t take the trash out because you don’t care about me!” **Contempt** Contempt is the act of attacking your partner’s sense of self, or dismissing your partner’s needs, values, personality, or very existence as unimportant. Name-calling often plays a role in contempt, but contempt can also be more subtle. Ignoring your partner when he speaks, rolling your eyes, walking out of the room, or mocking your partner’s words all display contempt. Contempt is dangerous because it is the very opposite of love. When you convey contempt, you tell your partner that he or she simply does not matter. Often this creates a cycle in which you both display progressive levels of hostility, aggression, and contempt. Even in the best cases, though, contempt erodes your partner’s self-esteem, turns you into a bully, and helps to destroy the romantic spark that once kept you so close to one another. **Defensiveness** The natural inclination when someone attacks you is to defend yourself, but defensiveness in a relationship can slowly erode trust and communication. Why is defensiveness so bad? There are at least two reasons. First, people typically only become defensive when they’re repeatedly attacked, so defensiveness suggests that your partner is engaging in contempt, name-calling, or some other unhealthy relationship strategy. But second, your own defensiveness signals an unwillingness to work through problems in your relationship. Loving partners listen carefully to their partner’s concerns, but defensive partners subtly convey the message that they just don’t care about meeting their partner’s needs or listening to his or her feelings. **Stonewalling** It’s normal to need a few minutes to cool down from a fight. But when you deliberately avoid talking to your partner, you engage in stonewalling. Stonewalling inhibits communication and makes your partner feel as if they have little control over the relationship. If your partner struggles with jealousy, abandonment fears, or insecurity, stonewalling can trigger extremely negative emotions that give rise to a bigger fight. So how can you tell if you’re stonewalling? Some signs that you engage in this behaviour include: You hang up on your partner during telephone fights. You leave your house when you fight. You refuse to talk about problems with your partner. You talk over your partner, interrupting him or her until he or she just gives up. You try to control the conversation, preventing your partner from talking about his or her feelings. Stonewalling completely destroys your ability to confidently navigate disputes, and leaves your partner with ongoing feelings of uncertainty. The behaviour is most common among men, who are often raised to be uncomfortable with emotions and emotional conflict, though both men and women can engage in stonewalling. If you’re concerned about your stonewalling, commit to taking brief breaks from conflicts if you need to. Then give your partner a specific time at which you’ll be ready to discuss your dispute, then keep your word! If you find that you and your partner are repeatedly struggling with these issues, it may be time to seek relationship counselling. A counsellor can help you clarify your needs, communicate more effectively, and steadily regain the loving relationship you once shared. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [1 in 12 Australians Affected by Acquired Brain Injury (ABI).](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/1-in-12-australians-affected-by-acquired-brain-injury-abi/) **Published:** January 20, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** **Study Uncovers Potential Cause of Neurological Changes After Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)** Traumatic brain injuries are severe, potentially life-threatening head injuries that occur after a blow to the head. Though harder blows typically cause more problems, you don’t have to be hit particularly hard to experience a traumatic brain injury (TBI). And for many TBI sufferers, symptoms don’t begin until weeks or even months after the initial impact. Sometimes referred to as acquired brain injuries (ABI), particularly in the Australian press, these head injuries pose a major public health threat, with 1.6 million Australians affected. Researchers have long debated how to most effectively treat these injuries, which give rise to cognitive changes, psychological difficulties, and deteriorating health. A new study published in *Neurotherapeutics,* though, offers new insight into the anatomy and trajectory of TBI. **New TBI Research** The researchers, Alan Faden, MD, a neurologist and anesthesiology professor, and David Loane, PhD, an anesthesiology professor, present a new model of TBI. Inflammation has previously been linked to a host of health problems, ranging from [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) to rheumatoid arthritis. And now, with this new paper, researchers have linked TBI to inflammation as well. The researchers point to recent brain imaging studies, which indicate that a moderate head injury can cause persistent brain inflammation. This ongoing inflammation can persist for years, which may help explain why the symptoms of a TBI tend to persist long after the head injury appears to have healed. Unfortunately, though, much research into brain injuries has focused on chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a condition common among American football players who suffer a brain injury. This dogged focus, the researchers say, may have diverted attention away from other TBI research, as well as potential treatments. There’s good news, though. Faden and Loane argue that the inflammation that so often co-occurs with a brain injury could be treatable. Exercise programs, as well as some experimental drugs, may block brain inflammation. Among patients seeking treatment for the first time, aggressively advocating for these treatments could increase the odds of a substantive long-term recovery. **Symptoms of Brain Injuries** Because the symptoms of a brain injury can linger for years after the initial injury, it’s easy for brain injuries to be misdiagnosed as depression, behavioural problems, or even a degenerative neurological condition. If you or someone you love have experienced a brain injury, it’s critically important to tell your medical providers about this injury, even if it happened a long time ago. Know the symptoms of TBI, since doing so may save your life. Common symptoms include: Confusion, lightheadedness, or headache Dizziness Blurred vision Ringing sensations in your ears Strange taste in your mouth Exhaustion or suddenly falling asleep. You may also suffer a generalised loss of energy or a change in your sleeping habits. Sensitivity to sound or light Changes in your behaviour or mood Difficulty concentrating, remembering things, or focusing Loss of consciousness; this can last only a few seconds with a mild TBI, or for several minutes or even hours with a more severe injury. Vomiting or nausea immediately after the injury Numbness in the extremities Slurred speech A worsening headache Seizures or convulsions Restlessness or agitation Difficulty with coordinating your movements Enlargement of one or both pupils, or pupils of different sizes **What to Do After a Blow to the Head** If you suffer a blow to the head, it doesn’t matter if you feel fine; this is a serious, life-threatening medical emergency that warrants immediate medical intervention. An immediate trip to the hospital is necessary if the wound is open or if you lose consciousness; otherwise, simply seek medical care within an hour or two. Knowing proper first aid after a head injury can save your life or the life of another person. After a head injury, keep these life-saving tips in mind: Do not apply direct pressure to a head wound that is bleeding, particularly if you suspect a broken skull. Instead, stop bleeding by putting a clean cloth directly onto the wound. Stabilise the person’s head or neck, but do not try to move the head or ask the person to move, particularly if he or she has lost consciousness. If the person is unconscious and vomiting, roll the person onto his or her side. Because movement can be dangerous, though, ensure you move the body as one unit, rather than moving the head and then the body. Apply ice packs to any parts of the head or neck that are swollen. Do not attempt to crack or pop the neck or head back into place, even if you think the injury is minor. After receiving medical care, continue to monitor symptoms. Go to hospital immediately if you: develop a stiff neck or severe headache, notice that your pupils have become different sizes, lose consciousness for even a brief second, begin vomiting, or are unable to move any part of your body. An acquired brain injury has the power to change your life, affect your relationship, and even permanently alter your personality. Proper medical treatment, though, can make a difference. And if you’re struggling to adjust to life with an ABI, [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can help you make sense of your challenges and implement new coping skills to move beyond the injury. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Improve Your Mental Health With Exercise](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/improve-your-mental-health-with-exercise/) **Published:** January 20, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** **Ready to Get Moving This Year? Six Ways Exercise Improves Your Mental Health** If you’re like most Australians, the dawn of a new year brings a commitment to better living, often accompanied by resolutions to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better. Sadly, though, most people abandon these resolutions by February, returning to old habits that harm their bodies and minds. If you’ve committed to exercising more this year, know that exercise isn’t just a way to stay healthy, lose weight, and achieve the body you want. Need a little additional motivation to ensure that this is the year you finally stick to your exercise resolutions? Check out these six incredible ways exercise can improve your mental health and well-being. **A Better Mood** Exercise releases chemicals known as endorphins when you workout to the point of exhaustion. These feel-good chemicals offer a near-instant mood boost that can last anywhere from a few minutes to several hours after you exercise. For most people, the benefits of an endorphin rush – the culprit behind the phenomenon sometimes referred to as a “runner’s high” – begins within five minutes after exercising. **Alleviation of Depression** What if you don’t just want to improve your mood? There’s good news. [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) can be crippling, robbing you of your self-worth, your relationships, your motivation, or even your career. There’s good evidence, though, that exercise may be the magic ingredient in the recipe for combating the scourge of depression. One recent study found that three to five days per week of cardiovascular exercise was just as effective as selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) – the most popular type of antidepressant – for treating depression. Exercise can also help to alleviate chronic muscle pain, which can itself lead to depression, exhaustion, and other common mental health challenges. Additionally, exercise offers a temporary energy boost, which can be a powerful antidote to the lack of motivation that so many depression sufferers struggle with. To get the most benefits, shoot for at least 150 minutes of cardio per week, then commit to strength training – such as lifting weights or performing bodyweight exercises – at least two days per week. **Improved Anxiety** Anxiety isn’t all in your head; instead, chronic worry and restlessness often causes physical sensations that are hard to ignore – a lump in your throat, a fluttering heart, butterflies in your stomach, and even diarrhoea and vomiting. We don’t yet fully understand how anxiety in the mind leads to anxiety in the body, but one thing is for certain: exercise helps alleviate both the physical and emotional symptoms of chronic anxiety. Some of this may be due to the feel-good rush of endorphins that often follows exercise. Alleviation of muscle tension through exercise may also help burn off so-called nervous energy, and it’s equally possible that regular exercise changes the chemistry in your brain. Whatever the cause, fitness experts recommend getting three to five days per week of cardiovascular exercise to get the most out of your fitness plan. **Better Sleep** You might think more money, a different job, or a better relationship are the keys to happiness. Think again. Research suggests that sleep plays a vital role in mental health, and anecdotal evidence backs this up. Think about how well you function when you wake up in the middle of the night or are stretched to your breaking point of exhaustion. No one can function well with insufficient sleep, but about half of Australians struggle with insomnia or disrupted sleep at least once a week. There’s good news, though. Regular exercise can help you fall asleep more quickly, sleep more soundly, and have fewer nightmares and disturbing dreams when you finally settle into your nightly repose. To get the most benefits, exercise for at least 30 minutes. It doesn’t matter what type of workout you choose, though, since anything from intense cardio to relaxing yoga can work wonders. Just make sure you exercise early in the day. Exercising within three hours of your bedtime can give you a burst of energy that keeps you up. **A Smarter Brain** You already know that exercise offers you more physical energy, but a mounting volume of evidence suggests that working out can also keep your brain motivated and moving. Exercise increases serotonin while enabling your body to regulate the prevalence of a wide variety of neurotransmitters associated with mood and intelligence. Research has repeatedly demonstrated that exercise can even make you smarter, with students who exercise doing better on a test than students who don’t, and adults who exercise having less difficulty recalling long lists of data. Exercise also: Can help prevent or slow the progression of Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. May help reduce the effects of brain injuries. Is correlated with better memory in old age. Can help you overcome the effects of insufficient sleep. Can help prevent stress from undermining your ability to concentrate. **A Better Body Image** Given that exercise can help you lose weight, it’s probably fairly unsurprising that exercise can also improve body image. The surprising thing, though, is that exercise boosts body image even when you lose no weight. This is likely because exercise boosts your sense of bodily self-efficacy, helping you see what your body is capable of rather than judge your body based solely on its appearance. In a world where more than 90% of women report being unhappy with their bodies, improving body image is no small feat. Still struggling to get motivated? [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) with a skilled therapist can help you gain insight into your barriers to physical fitness, giving you the final push you need to – at long last – get moving. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How Body Image Affects Your Relationship and the Role Men Play.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-body-image-affects-your-relationship-and-the-role-men-play/) **Published:** February 2, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** **Study Suggests Men Affect Women’s Body Image: How Body Image Affects Your Relationship** Australian women are experiencing a crisis in body image. From photos of scantily clad, unbelievably thin women emblazoned on billboards and in advertisements to near-constant messages suggesting women should lose weight and conform to an unreasonable beauty standard, it’s no wonder so many women hate their bodies. Indeed, a stunning 91% of women report that they’re unhappy with their bodies or weight. Many men are frustrated by constantly hearing their wives or girlfriends complain about being fat or ugly. But researchers from Southern Methodist University in the United States have found that men may have more control over women’s self-esteem than men might suspect. **How Do Men Affect Women’s Body Image?** For the study, researchers recruited about 450 women, the majority of whom were white – suggesting the data might not hold up for women of other races, since those women may face different cultural messages and pressures. Researchers divided the women into two groups. One group saw images of very thin women, while the other saw images of larger women. The researchers then told the women that men were participating in the study, and that the men had seen the images, too. The researchers told one group that men preferred the thinner women, while telling the other group that men preferred women with fuller figures. After this trial, all of the female participants completed questionnaires on weight and body image. The women who heard that men preferred larger women reflected fewer body image concerns and reported greater satisfaction with their weight. Women who believed that men preferred thinner women, though, experienced more dissatisfaction with their bodies. Interestingly, a second trial using the same approach reveal that, when women thought other women preferred larger body types, this did not affect their self-esteem as strongly as their beliefs about what men prefer. **Why Are Men’s Opinions So Important?** So why is it that women’s self-esteem was so strongly affected by men’s beliefs? This might be especially surprising to men who repeatedly reassure their wives that they’re beautiful, only to hear insistences to the contrary. The researchers didn’t address this issue, but previous research has. Experts on women’s body image have proposed a number of explanations for why men’s beliefs are so important. These include: Women don’t believe men who reassure them. There’s good reason for this, too. A quick perusal of any message board will reveal hundreds of men making cruel comments about women that they would never share with their partners. Heterosexual women are heavily invested in pleasing men, particularly their partners, so hearing that men prefer a specific norm makes them more likely to believe their own partners prefer that norm, and therefore more likely to feel good about themselves. Women are constantly inundated with messages telling them to be thin, to be young, and to sexually objectify themselves. When they hear that men don’t want them to do this, it boosts their self-esteem. To know for sure why men’s opinions figure so prominently in women’s self-esteem, though, we’ll need to see more well-controlled studies. **How Self-Esteem Affects Your Relationship** If you’re experiencing trouble in your relationship or bogged down in the stress of everyday life, it’s easy to dismiss your partner’s self-esteem as a trivial matter. But the way your partner feels about herself, and in particular, the way she feels about her body, can have effects that reverberate far and wide, touching virtually every area of your relationship: Women who have low self-esteem are more likely to pass this onto their daughters, creating a vicious cycle of women who hate their bodies. Low self-esteem is a predictor of a number of mental health conditions, including [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, and eating disorders. These issues can cripple your relationship and harm your spouse. Eating disorders are particularly dangerous, with 10% of eating disorder sufferers eventually dying from their disease. Poor body image encourages substance abuse and drug addiction. People with low self-esteem are poorly equipped to solve relationship problems. For instance, if you calmly tell your spouse you’d like her to change something about her behavior, she may be unable to accept the criticism because she already feels so bad about herself, leading her to become defensive and further undermine your ability to communicate. Low self-esteem can give rise to affairs and infidelity. Women who do not love themselves are poorly equipped to support their partners, and may even lash out at the partners, projecting their low self-esteem outward. For instance, a wife who thinks she’s fat may begin calling her husband names as a way to deal with her anger and disappointment with her own body. **How Self-Esteem Affects Your Sex Life** More than half of married couples report that their sex life isn’t as good as it was when they first began dating. Most couples who walk through our doors want to increase emotional intimacy so that they can experience greater physical intimacy and more sexual pleasure. But trying to have rewarding sex with someone who hates her own body is a losing battle, for a number of reasons: Low self-esteem has been proven many times to lower women’s sex drive, so if your wife suffers from low libido, self-esteem issues could be the culprit. Women who are uncomfortable with their bodies are less likely to experience sexual pleasure. Even worse, the open communication that makes sexual pleasure possible – such as sharing sexual fantasies or explaining to a partner how you like to be touched – is very challenging for women who do not like their bodies. Low self-esteem is statistically correlated with a history of abuse. While most women struggle with self-esteem issues, severe issues may hint at a prior history of abuse, which in itself can compromise the quality, frequency, and overall intimacy of your sexual interactions. Anxiety and depression both negatively affect libido and desire, and the medications used to treat these conditions can also have negative effects. Many women who suffer from low self-esteem also struggle with poor body image. **What You Can Do to Promote Healthy Body Image** Though both men and women can suffer from low self-esteem and poor body image, in today’s society – with its emphasis on hyper-sexualised, incredibly thin women – women typically suffer more than men. Moreover, men frequently report that they are able to feel good about themselves even when they are displeased with their physical appearance; for women, by contrast, appearance and self-esteem are frequently inseparable. It’s important for both sexes, for people of all orientations, and for people in all sorts of relationships to prioritise their partner’s self-esteem. But as this latest round of research shows, men are uniquely positioned to boost women’s self-esteem, which means you have a moral obligation to help your wife or girlfriend work on body image issues. So what can you do? Both couples and individual [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can be deeply helpful. In [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/), you can explore options for boosting self-esteem together, in addition to discussing ways self-esteem issues affect your relationship. Individual counselling can make a big difference, too. For you, individual counselling helps you gain an understanding of self-esteem issues while exploring ways you can help, as well as ways your partner’s self-esteem issues affect you. And for your partner, individual counselling can be a key step in the journey toward healthy self-esteem and a happier life. What if you want to do something to help in addition to counselling? The following tips have been shown through various studies and through clinical practice to help boost self-esteem: Follow the 10 to 1 rule. For every complaint you make about your partner, be sure you offer at least 10 compliments. Do not tell your partner she needs to lose weight, change her body, wear more makeup, or otherwise change her appearance. If your partner is overweight, ageing rapidly, or otherwise suffering from appearance-related problems, she is already keenly aware of these issues. Raising them with her only makes her feel rejected and ashamed. Compliment your partner’s body, but don’t just focus on its appearance. Also focus on what her body can do. Research suggests that, when men fixate solely on women’s appearance, women begin basing their self-worth on their appearance. By praising your partner for her strong arms, endurance during childbirth, or commitment to breastfeeding, for example, you’re much more likely to raise her self-esteem than if you only talk about how beautiful she is. Of course, you must also talk about how beautiful your partner is, so don’t neglect this important job. Don’t make negative comments about other women’s appearance or weight. Explore the differences between standards your wife must live up to and the standards you face. Odds are good that your partner does her hear, wears makeup, and frets over clothing choices almost every day, whereas you may never have to think about some of these issues. If you have a request for something your partner could do to improve her appearance, consider whether you’d be willing to do the same thing. If not, the request is unreasonable. For example, if you think your partner should shave her legs more frequently, consider whether you’d be willing to shave your own legs, or shave them as frequently. If not, leave her alone. Create a healthy attitude toward food by cooking nourishing meals together. Exercise together. The endorphin rush may also help your sex life. Don’t police your partner’s food or exercise choices; if she needs to lose weight, she needs to choose to do so on her own. Remember that the image of beauty with which Australian men are presented is not only unrealistic, but unhealthy. Research suggests that most high-fashion models are so thin that they would be rendered infertile, and that most women could not be this thin even on starvation diets. Focus on your partner’s personality and intellect. These are things that do not fade with time, and by focusing on these unique gifts, you help your partner see that she is worth so much more than just her appearance. Appearance, in the grand scheme of things, is a trivial matter. What matters most is how your life touches others. By helping your partner realise this, you may take a giant step toward better harmony, more sex, and a happier spouse. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Pregnancy and Mental Health: Understanding Prenatal and Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, and Other Issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/pregnancy-mental-health-understanding-prenatal-postpartum-depression-anxiety-issues/) **Published:** February 10, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** For many women, pregnancy is the answer to a long-cherished dream, and giving birth to a child is fundamentally life-changing. For about 15% of women, though, pregnancy is a period of conflicted emotions and mental health concerns. If you suffer from [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) or anxiety during pregnancy, struggle to bond with your child, or experience postpartum depression, you are not alone. Seeking treatment now is the very best thing you can do for you and your child. **Common Pregnancy-Related Mental Health Issues** Women can struggle with mental health issues at any time during their lives, so it should come as no surprise that, for some women, these issues take root during pregnancy. Women who face depression, anxiety, and similar challenges during pregnancy may feel that they’ve done something wrong; many worry they don’t love their babies enough or that their “maternal instinct” is somehow not working correctly. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mental illness is not your fault, and just as you’d seek treatment for gestational diabetes or severe morning sickness, you also need and deserve treatment for pregnancy-related mental health problems. Pregnancy-related mental health issues fall into two broad categories: issues caused by or related to the pregnancy, and issues that pre-dated the pregnancy. *Mental Health Issues Related to Pregnancy* Among some women, pregnancy itself is a major contributing factor to mental health issues. The best-known pregnancy-related mental health issue is postpartum depression, which results from a variety of hormonal and environmental issues. But pregnancy can also trigger memories of trauma, giving rise to anxiety and PTSD, or can be so stressful that women develop generalized anxiety disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Pregnancy doesn’t typically cause personality disorders or bipolar disorder. *Mental Health Issues Predating the Pregnancy* Many women who struggle with mental health issues during pregnancy have faced mental health challenges for much of their lives. For these women – who can suffer from a variety of mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and similar issues – the pregnancy may compound pre-existing mental health problems by, for instance, re-opening old wounds or causing hormonal shifts. The pregnancy itself, though, is not the cause of the issues. Among women who have not sought proper treatment for mental illness, pregnancy can however be a strong incentive to finally seek treatment. **What Causes Pregnancy-Related Mental Health Issues?** A number of factors conspire to make pregnancy a dangerous time for women’s mental health. Some patients mistakenly believe that pregnancy-related mental health problems are solely a product of hormonal shifts, but this greatly oversimplifies the issue. After all, most pregnant women do not develop mental health issues, even though the undergo similar hormonal changes. Instead, a woman’s odds of developing serious issues increase when she faces many mental health risk factors. Some risk factors for pregnancy-related mental health issues include: - A family history of postpartum depression or mental illness. Both genetics and environment play a role here. A family history suggests genetic vulnerability to mental illness. But women who watched a family member experience pregnancy-related mental health issues may learn unhealthy coping mechanisms, or may feel that unhealthy ways of being – such as refusing to accept help – are actual normal. - A traumatic birth or delivery. Research has repeatedly shown that women whose babies are born sick, women who are injured during labor, and women who feel that control was taken from them during birth are more likely to have issues. - A prior history of mental illness. - Lack of social support. Women who are isolated from friends and family or whose partners do not do their fair share of childrearing are more vulnerable to depression. Some research suggests that help from a partner is the single most important factor protecting against pregnancy-related mental illness. - Poverty - Poor health - Conflicted feelings about the pregnancy. Women whose pregnancies came as a surprise, as well as women who considered abortion or adoption, are much more vulnerable to mental illness. - Inadequate preparation for the pregnancy. When women don’t have the supplies, money, or help they need, they’re more vulnerable to postpartum depression. - Having to return to work immediately after giving birth. - Not breastfeeding. Of course, some risk factors are more likely to cause issues than others, and some women develop depression and other symptoms even with no risk factors. Thus it’s important for every pregnant woman to have a care provider she trusts, the support of a loving family, and plenty of chances to contemplate what she wants for her pregnancy. **Recognizing the Symptoms** Antenatal and postpartum depression are, far and away, the most common pregnancy-related mental health problems. Unfortunately, depression often comes with a hefty dose of denial. Women with depression may blame themselves or be unable to recognize the symptoms. If you experience two or more of the following symptoms, though, you are likely suffering from depression: - Difficulty bonding with or relating to your baby, even several days after the birth. - Traumatic memories of the birth. - Unexplained anger at your partner, yourself, or your baby. - Insomnia or excessive sleep. - Sudden changes in weight or appetite. You may find yourself eating constantly or not at all. - Unexplained muscle aches and pains. - Unusual or unrealistic thoughts or perceptions. Rarely, postpartum depression causes postpartum psychosis, which can cause you to see things that aren’t really there or believe things that aren’t really true. - A desire to hurt your baby, yourself, or your partner. Some women with postpartum depression mistakenly believe that hurting their babies will be beneficial. For example, Andrea Yates, an American woman who killed her children due to postpartum depression, is purported to believe she was saving her kids from an evil and unkind world. - Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, shame, or inadequacy. - Loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed. - Chronic anxiety. - Withdrawing from your friends or family. - Difficulty concentrating, maintaining motivation, or going to work. Of course, postpartum depression isn’t the only mental illness pregnant women and new mothers face. There are hundreds of mental illnesses, and pregnant women are not immune to mental health issues. Some signs that you may have a mental illness include: - Experiencing unpleasant feelings that you feel you cannot control. - A sudden change in your personality or mood. - Emotions that aren’t appropriate for the situation. For instance, you might burst into tears at your birthday even though you’re surrounded by loved ones. - Changes in your habits or interests. - Difficulty doing everyday tasks or loss of interests in hobbies you used to enjoy. A strong relationship with a partner you trust can be very helpful, since your partner may recognize the signs even before you do. No matter what you’re suffering from, if you’re in immediate crisis, don’t delay seeking help. You can contact a crisis line by following this link. **The Challenges of Treatment** Pregnant women and new mothers face unique challenges when it comes to finding treatment for their mental health issues, which is why it’s so important to work with a skilled counsellor, in addition to finding a doctor who has experience working with pregnant women who face mental health issues. Though there is always at least one treatment that will work, you may experience difficulty finding treatment for several reasons: - Many highly effective psychoactive medications are not safe for pregnant or lactating women. - Hormonal changes during pregnancy can mean that a mental illness medication that once worked great no longer works at all. - New mothers and pregnant women may experience health problems that complicate treatment. - Parenthood is highly demanding work, and new mothers may not have time to attend [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) or may struggle to find childcare when they attend medical appointments. It’s important to be clear with your treatment provider about what you can and cannot do. For instance, if therapy three times a week is unrealistic for you, speak up rather than setting yourself up for failure. **Treatment Options** It might not feel like it right now, but there is hope that you can feel better. And often, feeling better takes much less time than you expect. Treatment works best when it is holistic, addressing biological, social, and environmental needs. Research has repeatedly shown that women suffering from postpartum depression do best when they pursue several simultaneous treatments. Some options include: - Medication – some drugs, notably Zoloft, are generally safe for pregnant and lactating women. - Therapy – therapy can help you understand what factors led to your depression, thereby helping you chart a course away from your suffering. - Lifestyle changes – research suggests that exercise can be as effective as some antidepressants. Likewise, adequate sleep and good nutrition are key to keeping both your body and mind healthy - Relationship counselling – if your partner isn’t helping you with the baby or is contributing to your depression, relationship counselling can help. If you’re in an abusive relationship, you may need to leave to feel better. - More social support – asking for help from loved ones, recruiting an occasional baby-sitter, and taking regular time for yourself can all help you fight your way out of despair. Postpartum depression can be scary, not to mention deeply isolating. But research is ongoing, and each year, clinicians get closer to understanding the unique mental health issues pregnant women and new mothers face. There’s no better time than now to seek help, and we’d be thrilled to help you find a way out of the cloud of depression and into the joys of motherhood. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families, General Health --- ### [The Three Seas Mind, Heart, and Body Couples Retreat](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/three-seas-mind-heart-body-couples-retreat/) **Published:** February 11, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** If you’re like many couples, things in your relationship just don’t feel the same as they did when you first met. Maybe you’re struggling to pick up the pieces of a shattered relationship after the pain of infidelity. Or perhaps your issues are more mundane, and you’re bored, exhausted, or overwhelmed. Join us at gorgeous Point Lonsdale for a relaxing and enlightening couples retreat on the Bellarine Peninsula. We’ll help you chart a course from the relationship you have to the relationship you want. **What Happens at the Retreat?** Have you ever wished you could escape the stress of everyday life so you could focus on your partner? Have you ever thought that, if only you didn’t have to worry about work, kids, and endless chores, your relationship would immediately improve? We offer you just that chance. Our retreat takes you away from the demands of everyday life and situates you in a beautiful waterfront setting, away from cell phones, family distractions, and endless busy-ness. This serene location is the perfect place to begin doing some work on your relationship. For many couples, the prospect of exploring their relationship is intensely frightening. They worry they’ll constantly fight, or that they’ll find something they don’t want to uncover. We make the process of exploring your connection fun and enlightening rather than terrifying and harmful. Our retreat features: - Full access to a private resort - A private consultation with a relationship expert who’s ready to listen and eager to help you sort out the unique challenges you face in your relationship. - Workshops designed to help you learn more about yourself and your partner. Featured workshops include understanding your story of your relationships and yourself, evaluating your emotional profile, exploring your shared story, and uncovering a new vision for your relationship. We also offer a men-only and women-only workshop. - Three excellent meals. - Gorgeous overnight accommodations. We believe that much strife in a relationship occurs when you neglect your relationship. We’ll work to help you dust off your relationship, put back together its tattered pieces, and turn it back into the beautiful work of art it once was. In fact, we’re so convinced of the power of our workshop that we think your relationship may even end up stronger than it was before. **Who Is This Retreat For?** Many couples are hesitant to attend a relationship workshop/retreat. Some believe their relationship is too damaged for a few hours to make a difference. Others think they don’t have enough problems to warrant such intensive focus on the relationship. But the truth is that it’s never too late or too early to work on your relationship. No matter where you are in your shared journey, we can help make the journey better. Our workshops aren’t just work, either; they’re fun, and by working together, you may uncover elements of yourself and your relationship you thought were long gone. - Our workshops are designed for couples who: - Are overwhelmed by the stress of everyday life and who need a chance to reconnect. - Have experienced a serious trauma, such as infidelity, a death in the family, or an unwanted move. - Want more from one another and from their relationship but who are unsure of how to get it. - Feel stuck. - Feel like they’ve lost the spark they originally shared, and who desperately want to get that magic back. - Struggle to find time for one another. - Are facing mental health issues. - Feel like they’ve lost track of one another and need to reconnect. - Crave more intimacy. - Want to know what truly, deeply connecting really looks and feels like. In short, this retreat can work for just about any couple. Whether you’re newlyweds just starting your journey, contemplating divorce, or been married for years and aren’t sure where you stand, we can help. We think you’ll be surprised to see just how much can be accomplished in a single retreat. **How Can This Retreat Help My Relationship?** - No matter where you are in your relationship journey, improving your relationship skills will make the journey a sweeter, more pleasant one. Through our workshop, you will: - Gain a deeper understanding of you and your partner’s emotional profiles, identify differences, and find ways to bridge gaps in your emotional styles. - Deeply explore one another’s minds and hearts to gain deeper intimacy and a better understanding of what makes one another tick. - Get a chance to talk about relationship challenges one-on-one with a trained relationship expert. - Have a chance to talk to other couples about their relationships; often, couples find that just knowing they’re not alone makes a huge difference. - Learn healthier ways to communicate your needs, find better ways to meet your partner’s needs, and gain a stronger understanding of how to mediate conflicts. - Learn to embrace one another’s differences. - Find better ways to show your appreciation and love for your partner, while simultaneously getting the appreciation and affection you crave. Don’t spend the rest of your relationship living together like roommates, but never really connecting. You both deserve someone about whom you feel passionately. Marriage and partnerships can be deep and rich, so if things have gotten stale, there really is hope. Let us help you explore your relationship’s challenges, then map the path to happiness. Your relationship is worth a day and a small fee, especially when that day may affect the rest of your lives together. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples Counselling --- ### [More Sex Won't Increase Your Happiness, But Marriage Counselling Could](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/more-sex-wont-increase-your-happiness-but-marriage-counselling-could/) **Published:** May 19, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Ask most married couples how they judge marital happiness, and odds are good that frequent sex is near the top of the list. Couples who have a lot of sex inevitably want more, or view their sex lives as a sign of a healthy relationship. And those whose sex lives are a bit lacking may believe that more sex will make them happy, or even that more sex is the inevitable product of more happiness. According to [a new study](http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/05/150508105814.htm), nothing could be further from the truth. For unhappy couples, the answer remains the same: [marriage counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/), a commitment to change, and the willingness to step outside of their comfort zone. ### Think Sex Equals Happiness? Think Again Researchers divided heterosexual couples ranging in age from 35 to 65 into two different groups. The first group continued having sex at their usual rate, whatever that was—whether twice a day or twice a year. The other group was instructed to double the rate at which they had sex. So, for example, a couple who usually has sex about twice a week would be required to have sex four times a week for the duration of the study. The couples completed a variety of surveys designed to assess their mental health and relationship satisfaction for the duration of the study. At the end of the study period, researchers found that the couples who increased their sexual frequency were not happier. Instead, they saw a slight dip in happiness. The study’s authors suggest that simply engaging in more sex is not enough, particularly when couples don’t address underlying relationship issues that contribute to a dearth of sex. Instead, they suggest, couples may be less happy when they pressure themselves to have more sex because doing so reminds them of relationship problems and forces intimacy that’s not actually there. ### Sex: One of Many Relationship Barometers Research has consistently shown that relationship happiness doesn’t necessarily amount to more sex. Some couple have lower libidos; some are asexual. Sex is not universally enjoyable, and everyone has their own views on sex. Some people also bring baggage to a sexual relationship. A history of rape or trauma, for instance, can make sex distinctly unpleasant—even traumatic. Couples should work toward a shared understanding of sex, not necessarily more sex. For instance, a couple in which both partners have a low libido may be much happier than a couple in which one partner has a high libido while the other has only moderate sexual desire. ### Why Sex Can’t Save Your Relationship Some couples mistakenly believe that, if only they have more sex, everything else will fall into place. Some even use sex as a shortcut for managing conflict. For instance, a couple might have sex after a fight, and the close feelings that result from sex may make them think the fight is resolved. Yet a few weeks or months later, when the same issue rears its ugly head, they’ll be back where they started—and may yet again turn to sex to manage a problem. So why can’t sex solve your problems? There are a number of reasons: - Sex produces powerful emotions, and can even change your physical sensations. These overwhelming feelings can make things feel okay even when they’re not. - Forcing yourself to have sex when you don’t want to can damage your relationship, your self-esteem, and even your health. - About 25% of women have a history of sexual trauma, so for these people, sex can actually make the relationship feel less close. - Sex isn’t without risk. If your partner is dishonest or unfaithful, having sex could expose you to diseases or the risk of an unwanted pregnancy. ### The Marriage Counselling Solution Marriage [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can improve the quality of your marriage and your sex life whether you’re just starting out, have been married for decades, struggle with serious problems, or just want to find better ways to cope. Your counsellor will help you gain a better understanding of the issues you face, serve as an unbiased mediator, offer helpful feedback about positive changes you can each make, and then encourage you to follow through with those changes. A good counsellor will also hold you accountable by questioning why you haven’t made certain changes, forcing you to see the way your behaviour impacts your partner, and working with you to explore how your own unhealthy habits may cause your relationship to deteriorate. At Three Seas, we know that sex is deeply important for achieving a healthy relationship, and we never dismiss the value of healthy sexuality. We talk to you about your sexuality without judgment or agenda, and we can help you whether you’re gay, straight, questioning, monogamous, polyamorous, committed, dating around, or somewhere else on the spectrum of sexuality. We know there’s no single “right” way to have sex, and our goal is to help you find the healthiest, most comfortable, and most pleasurable. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Sexuality, General Health --- ### [Managing Anxiety: Study Suggests Trauma More Prevalent Than You Might Think](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/managing-anxiety-study-suggests-trauma-more-prevalent-than-you-might-think/) **Published:** May 19, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Anxiety disorders affect more than a million Australians, and almost [10% of the population.](https://www.arcvic.org.au/what-is-anxiety) Such disorders include conditions like generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Though these conditions rank among the most common mental health conditions, they’re also some of the most treatable. And in an increasingly anxiety-driven world, that revelation may come as welcome news to anxiety sufferers. Unfortunately, though, sources of anxiety in our society are rapidly increasing, not declining like we might otherwise hope. Television and social media are home to an endless parade of violence, bad news, and scary imagery. According to a [new study](http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/05/150506164240.htm), these haunting images may have real consequences for mental health. Researchers found that people exposed to frightening imagery on social media might suffer symptoms of trauma, in spite of never directly experiencing trauma themselves. ### Media Trauma and Vicarious Suffering Nearly 200 participants with no mental illness and no previous history of trauma completed questionnaires about their mental health. Researchers also asked participants questions about recent exposure to traumatic imagery on Facebook. Common examples of such imagery might include stories about terrorism, images of school shootings, or news of violence against children and families. To the researchers’ surprise, those who had recently witnessed such imagery on social media showed symptoms similar to those associated with PTSD. Mental health experts have long thought that PTSD results only from experiencing a traumatic incident—such as a rape or natural disaster—firsthand. This study indicates that it may be possible to be vicariously traumatized by someone else’s traumatic experience if the imagery is powerful enough. Nearly a quarter of all participants scored high on a PTSD scoring measure. ### How Trauma Affects Well-Being Trauma poses a serious public health crisis. People exposed to trauma can suffer a range of ailments, most notably PTSD. The most common symptoms of PTSD include: - Intrusive memories, known as flashbacks, of the traumatic event - [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, problems with motivation, and difficulty concentrating - Unexplained health problems - Difficulty sleeping - Nightmares - Panic attacks - Intense fear - Avoiding stimuli associated with the trauma, such as people who witnessed the incident or the place where it occurred - Difficulty with emotional regulation - Relationship problems PTSD isn’t just a psychological issue, though. Research consistently suggests that trauma can lead to a host of personal and social ills, including: - An increased risk of addiction - Violent, angry, or criminal behavior - Health problems such as cancer, fibromyalgia, heart disease, and unexplained headaches; many trauma survivors develop physical health symptoms, particularly when they are unable to find healthy ways to cope with their psychological distress. - Economic loss. One study put the cost of childhood trauma alone at $9 billion annually. Traumatized people may be unable to work, or may suffer so intensely that they’re less productive and less able to live up to their potential. - Child neglect and abuse. Though traumatized people can and do go on to be wonderful parents, some are so distracted by their own trauma that they are unable to provide loving support to their children. If frightening media images are sufficient to induce trauma, then nearly everyone is at risk. It’s possible that a massive segment of the Aussie population isn’t living up to its full potential because of the ready availability of frightening imagery. This suggests that media outlets might actually improve public health if they used upsetting imagery more judiciously or more sparingly. ### How Counselling Can Help Trauma causes intense suffering, but it doesn’t have to. PTSD, anxiety, and other trauma-related symptoms are highly treatable, particularly when suffering people pursue treatment early in their recovery journeys. So what does [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) offer people struggling with trauma? A judgment-free environment where traumatized people can freely express their emotions can work wonders. Many people living with trauma are afraid to express themselves or worried about how their suffering will affect others. The right counsellor, though, helps traumatized people escape this fear. From there, your counsellor will work with you to gain a better understanding of the specific ways the trauma has affected you. Though you can’t go back in time and undo what happened, you can change the way you react to it. Pain and anger are normal and expected reactions, and your counsellor will help you feel and express those feelings. But eventually, these feelings can inhibit your life and your growth as a human being. When this happens, your counsellor will help you find new ways of coping while enabling you to abandon old, unhealthy strategies for coping with your suffering. At Three Seas, we know it’s not easy to reach out for help, but we also know that traumatized people both need and deserve assistance. We’re ready to be the helping hand that gets you over the hurdle of trauma, and back to enjoying how truly wonderful life can be. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Depression, General Health --- ### [5 Things Good Marriage Counsellors Do](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-things-good-marriage-counsellors-do/) **Published:** July 10, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** The Australian divorce rate [is notoriously high](http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/australia-datablog/2014/nov/28/kevin-andrews-says-australias-divorce-rate-is-too-high-here-are-the-figures), with more than 60% of divorces involving children who never asked to have their families split up. Divorce might seem like the easy choice when you’re trapped in a failing marriage. But a year or two down the road, when you’re fighting over custody, struggling with finances, or facing the loneliness of life as a single parent, you might have second thoughts. At Three Seas [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), we know that even the most troubled marriages can be saved with the right approach. Our counsellors help you explore issues within your marriage, offer practical solutions for managing these challenges, and provide an unbiased perspective on the topics about which you’ve argued for years. This doesn’t mean you should sign on for therapy with the first counsellor you stumble across, though. Good therapy is a fine skill honed with years of practice and education. Here are five things that separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to [marriage counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). ## Good Marriage Counsellors Respect Your Values No two couples are exactly alike, and there are a wide range of ways to conduct a marriage. Perhaps you want a feminist marriage where you share equally in childrearing and household chores. Or maybe you believe in a strict division of labor. No matter what your goals are, your marriage counsellor should ask about your values, rather than just taking them for granted. From there, the right counsellor will offer advice informed by your values, rather than pushing an agenda down your throat. Consider yourself warned, though: respecting your values doesn’t mean telling you everything you do is acceptable. If your husband believes that women are inherently unequal to men, the right counsellor will correct this belief. Respecting values doesn’t mean allowing you to hurt one another, or embrace dangerous philosophies. ## Good Marriage Counsellors Correct False Beliefs Many marriage problems have their roots in false beliefs about what marriage should be. A good marriage counsellor will help you understand that you don’t have to be like everyone else, don’t have to mimic your parents, and that not everything you read about marriage is true. If he or she catches either one of you espousing dangerous false beliefs—such as the idea that men can’t control the desire to cheat—your counsellor shouldn’t shy away from correcting you. ## Good Marriage Counsellors Give You Homework No matter how good your counsellor is, a few minutes spent discussing your problems each week won’t help you make lasting changes. Your counsellor should give you weekly assignments that allow you to build upon what you learned and discussed in therapy. Whether it’s taking time to compliment one another, agreeing to refrain from criticism for a week, or something else altogether, if your counsellor isn’t giving you regular homework assignments, you’re not getting everything that you could out of marriage counselling. Good marriages take work, and that work needs to continue even when your [therapy session](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) is over. ## Good Marriage Counsellors Take Sides (Without Bias) You might have heard that good counsellors are unbiased, and that’s true. But freedom from bias doesn’t mean your counsellor will never express an opinion—or tell you you’re wrong. This means that you may occasionally feel as if your counsellor is taking sides. If your husband constantly yells at you or your wife is unfaithful, a good counsellor shouldn’t shy away from telling your spouse these behaviors are wrong. Likewise, a good counsellor shouldn’t treat all emotions as equal. The pain of surviving a rape, for instance, is far deeper than the pain of not fitting in when you were a child. A counsellor who understands that not all emotions need to be treated equally is one who can help you make progress, correct you when you’re wrong, and quickly cut to the heart of your marital discord. ## Good Marriage Counsellors Help You Get Better Ultimately, you’re not going to therapy for entertainment or to waste time. You’re going there because you want your life and your relationship to improve. This means that you need to judge your counsellor not by how much you like him or her, or by how good you feel during or after sessions, but by whether or not you’re making progress. Some signs you’re progressing include: - You can name a handful of things you’re doing wrong, and you know what to do to correct them. - You have fewer fights with your spouse, and the fights you do have are shorter and less hurtful. - You feel more comfortable expressing yourself to your spouse. - You have a clearer idea of how to meet your spouse’s needs. - You spend less time blaming your spouse for your problems. - You have hope for the future of your marriage. - You’re able to separate your personal problems from the problems within your marriage. Couples counselling is neither a magic bullet nor a panacea. But it does work, if you’re willing to work. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [behavioral therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), [treating depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Couples Counselling, Couples and Families --- ### [Signs Your Child Might Have an Anxiety Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-your-child-might-have-an-anxiety-disorder/) **Published:** July 15, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Let’s face it: childhood isn’t what it used to be. From exhausting homework loads to the omnipresent clicking, ringing, and vibrating of technological devices, children are subjected to an endless stream of distractions and stress. The results are predictable: a near-epidemic of anxiety disorders over the past generation or so. Sadly, [most children with anxiety disorders](http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/childhood-anxiety-disorders) don’t get the treatment they need. The best treatment protocols blend [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), medication, and lifestyle changes. We can help you choose the best strategy from each category, ensuring your child gets first-rate care in a comfortable setting. But before we can help, you’ll need to be able to properly identify that your child needs help for an anxiety disorder. Here are five telltale signs. ## Anxiety Unrelated to Life Events Life is scary, but anxiety disorders don’t discriminate. If your child seems scared for no apparent reason, or suddenly is much more fearful than he used to be, he could have an anxiety disorder. Before determining that your child suffers from anxiety, it’s important to get a clear picture of what’s going on in his or her life, since bullying, a recent parental divorce, or even a change in schools can lead to intense anxiety. Some signs to look for include: - Taking longer than usual to recover from stressful events - Seeming stressed and fearful even during relaxing, happy times and events - Being targeted by bullies - Not wanting to go to school - Getting more fearful about stressful situations than he or she previously used to - Frequent sweating Oftentimes a stressful life even triggers an anxiety disorder, so it’s important to carefully monitor your child during times of stress. If he or she seems unable to bounce back from the struggles of daily life, it’s time to get help. ## Changes in Eating and Sleeping Habits Some kids, especially boys, deliberately try to conceal their feelings. But anxiety is as physical as it is psychological, so it’s important to look for physical signs of anxiety. Those include: - Changes in sleeping, especially difficulty getting up in the morning, sleeping too much, or insomnia - Changes in appetite; anxious kids often lose their appetites. - Complaining of headaches or other unexplained pains. - Frequent illnesses - Gastrointestinal problems such as diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting ## Behavioral Problems Children don’t always know how to express their feelings, so many turn to acting out to get relief from their anxiety. This phenomenon is especially common among children under 10 and boys, but can happen to any child. If your child is experiencing academic troubles, has begun bullying other kids, or suddenly has become very difficult to manage, it could be the result of a behavioral problem. Some other telltale signs of anxiety you might notice include: - Increased lying - Unexplained tantrums - A shorter temper - Violence and aggression toward other kids - Not going to school - Relying on alcohol or drugs - Smoking - Stealing ## Sudden Changes in Personality Childhood is a process of slow evolution and change, and it’s normal for kids to change their personalities or interests during major milestones. The child who once loved reading might suddenly, at puberty, prefer to spend her time texting boys, for example. But if your child’s personality or mood changes without explanation, it’s a major warning sign. Anxious kids will do anything to get relief from their anxiety, including giving up friends and hobbies they once loved. Some retreat into themselves; others begin acting out, desperate to get the attention and help they need. If your child doesn’t seem like himself, it might be because anxiety is making it too difficult to be normal. ## Difficulty Making Friends Many anxious children are introverts plagued by shyness. Some struggle with social anxiety. And almost all kids with anxiety disorders behave in ways that other kids find strange. Kids can be cruel, and they’re highly adept at detecting unusual behavior. If your child struggles to make friends, seems scared of going to school, is frequently victimized by bullies, or constantly complains of being isolated, these could be telltale signs of an anxiety disorder. Anxiety tends to get worse with age, so the best time to get your child’s anxiety under control is now. Let us show you what you can do to help. We’ll coach you and your child through the process of managing anxiety, offering compassion, support, and [children counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) that’s free of judgment. We also offer [childhood assessments](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents, General Health --- ### [5 Signs You Need Couples Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-signs-you-need-couples-counselling/) **Published:** July 15, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Divorce is tragically common across the globe, with Australia boasting depressingly high divorce rates. Before you give up hope, consider the benefits of [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). Think your marriage isn’t in trouble? You, too, might benefit from couples counselling, since some of the biggest harbingers of divorce have nothing whatsoever to do with how frequently you fight or happy you are with your relationship. If you experience any of these five symptoms of a troubled marriage, counselling with Three Seas can help you get back on track. We’ll teach you the [communication](https://thethreeseas.com.au/6-rules-for-better-communication-with-loved-ones/) and relationship skills you need to sustain a happy marriage for a lifetime. We’re the impartial voice to your marriage, the conscience that will tell you when you’re doing it wrong, and your one-stop shop for a blissful, sustainable marriage. ## You Keep Having the Same Fight Some conflicts define a marriage. Every married couple, no matter how happy or successful, has a few problems they’ll struggle with forever. Often these issues stem from deep [incompatibilities](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-signs-you-need-a-new-counsellor-or-therapist/). Maybe you’re an extrovert, while your spouse prefers the comforts of home. You’re not going to convince her to go out partying every night, and she’s not going to convince you of the benefits of relaxing at home. Conflict is the inevitable result, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether the fight is one you’ve had for 20 years, or something that’s just now reared its ugly head, we can help you find solutions to problems that seem unsolvable. When [technology](https://tek2u.com.au) cannot help, the only way to resolve issues is to get help from an experienced psychologist. By understanding each other’s perspectives and better addressing your own needs, you can steadily reduce conflict while building intimacy. ## You Feel Uncared for Believe it or not, it’s common for one or both spouses to experience times during which they do not feel loved. We all have different needs. Whether your [spouse](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-anger-issues-and-what-to-expect-from-counselling/) doesn’t know how to meet yours or is deliberately being cruel, we can help you get things back on track. We’ll show you how to identify and express your needs, then help both you and your spouse more competently show each other love and affection. If somethings holding one of you back from behaving in a loving manner, we’ll get to the heart of the matter. ## You’ve Fallen Out of Love Centuries ago, marriage only needed to last a few years because humans averaged pretty short life spans. Now, couples are looking at 40, 50, 60, and even 70 years together. It’s hard to sustain love for a lifetime, no matter how wonderful your spouse is or how deeply in love you were when you first met. Love isn’t an emotion, though; it’s a skill. Early in your relationship, it’s easy to do things that cultivate love, but as life and time interfere, sustaining love becomes more challenging. Rest assured, no matter how distant or resentful you feel right now, we can help you build lasting love. Let us show you how to bring back the romance and butterflies, so you can get to enjoying what really matters all over again. ## Bad Habits or Infidelity are Harming Your Relationship The overwhelming majority of couples who experience infidelity will need counselling to recover. The good news is that more than half of couples eventually cover from this painful betrayal. We can help with more than just infidelity, though. A host of bad habits—compulsive spending, gambling, alcoholism, drug addiction, aggression, anger, flirting with others, and neglecting household or financial responsibilities—can all lead to the downfall of your marriage. If you’re tired of stewing over your partner’s shortcomings, let us show you how to move beyond them. No person is perfect, but even the most flawed among us can have excellent marriages—if you’re willing to put in the effort. ## Your Spouse Won’t Agree to Counselling All too often, we hear from clients whose spouses are unwilling to pursue counselling. But don’t give up just yet. A partner’s unwillingness to consider [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is inevitably a sure sign that yo need therapy! It may be that your partner just feels too sad, overwhelmed, or misunderstood to believe that therapy can help. We routinely offer marriage counselling to just one side of the marital equation, and we can do this with you, too. You may be surprised to see how quickly things change, even when only one partner is willing to seek therapy. In many cases, the reluctant partner ultimately comes around after he or she sees how much counselling is helping. Don’t let your marriage spiral out of control. Even the best marriages require some work, and the occasional tune-up. Let us help you get things back on track. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families, General Health --- ### [Do I Need Counselling?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/do-i-need-counselling/) **Published:** July 29, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** At Three Seas, we’re accustomed to hearing all variety of myths about [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). From the mistaken belief that counselling is just about talking about feelings to the notion that therapists or [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) become counsellors to deal with their own psychological issues, we’ve heard it all. One of the things that we hear most frequently, though, is the claim that therapy is for “crazy” people. Therapy is for everyone, and it can benefit even the most emotionally healthy among us. Thus if you’re contemplating whether you need counselling, the truth is that almost everyone can benefit. Still on the fence? Here are some telltale signs that it’s time to consider counselling. ## Your Relationships Are All Troubled If you have problems in all of your relationships, the common [denominator](https://thethreeseas.com.au/do-i-need-counselling/) is you. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re causing the problems, but a history of troubled relationships suggests that you’re either choosing the wrong people, have poor relationships skills, or are consistently doing something that throws your relationships into turmoil. Without blame or [judgment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/will-therapist-judge/), we can help you discern what’s behind a long history of challenging relationships. ## You’re Unhappy or Unfulfilled It’s easy to blame the circumstances of your life for your dissatisfaction. But the truth is that people are able to remain happy even amid the most challenging circumstances—dire poverty, life-threatening health conditions, the death of a beloved family member. Counselling helps you cultivate the skills that make it possible to be happy. If you’re struggling with lack of fulfillment, feel shiftless and [directionless](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-relationship-skills-to-master-for-a-better-marriage/), or are at a major crossroads in your career or relationship, therapy can help yo make the right decision. ## You Keep Making the Same Mistakes We all have habits we find hard to break, no matter how frequently we resolve to do better. Whether it’s spending too much money, eating too much food, procrastination, negative thinking, picking fights with family members, or something else, understanding your pattern is the key to upending it. We’ll help you understand why you keep making the same mistakes, then work with you to ensure the drama ends once and for all. ## The Problem is With Everyone Else It’s not easy to admit, but if you’re having problems with everyone you know, the problem is likely you. If you think your unhappiness can be blamed on your [unaffectionate spouse](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-makes-happy-marriage/), your nagging [mother](https://thethreeseas.com.au/five-things-counselling-can-offer-you/), and your cruel boss, you’ve got it backwards. Happiness comes from within, and people who don’t realize this face an uphill battle when it comes to finding happiness and fulfillment. We’ll help you figure out what the real problem is, so you can fix it and live the life you deserve—at long last. ## You Struggle With Mental Illness Mental illness is common, and is no different from physical ailments. It’s not your fault, not something you can will away, and certainly not something you can cause. But too many Australians are hesitant to seek the help they need for their mental health difficulties. If you suffer from [obsessive-compulsive disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-2/), bipolar, [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, or another mental health difficulty, let us show you a path to hope, healing, and recovery. Mental illness does not have to ruin your life, and you might not even need to take medication to get better. ## You’re Overwhelmed Let’s face it: life is hard. Endless responsibilities, unreasonable expectations from [loved ones](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-ways-can-support-depressed-loved-one/), and myriad other challenges can leave you feeling exhausted, burned out, and overwhelmed. If you feel hopeless about your ability to cope, we can renew your sense of hope. So much so that some times [even the lights](https://designerlights.com.au/) can have an impact on how you feel. The right skills can help you cope with even the most stressful life events, and by steadily cultivating these skills, you can even learn to manage with [difficult people](https://thethreeseas.com.au/why-people-self-harm-and-how-to-get-help/). You don’t have to be overwhelmed, but you do have to reach out for help if you want hope for a better tomorrow. ## You Have Health Issues People with health issues are often reluctant to seek therapy. After all, if the problem is with the body, then how can counselling the mind help? Not so fast. The mind and body are interrelated, and stress, anxiety can undermine your ability to cope with your health issues. Some research even suggests that unexplained symptoms, especially chronic pain, headaches, and gastrointestinal distress, may get better with therapy. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Depression, General Health, Individual **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, depression, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Counselling for Grief: Five Things You Need to Understand About Grief](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/counselling-for-grief-five-things-you-need-to-understand-about-grief/) **Published:** July 29, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** [The tragic death of Phil Walsh](http://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/02/sport/adelaide-crows-phil-walsh-murder/), coach of the Adelaide Crows, has shocked everyone who followed the case. The fact that his son is allegedly responsible for the brutal stabbing makes the news even harder to swallow. At Three Seas, we often help clients cope with grief after the loss of a loved one. Grief is a normal part of life, of course, not a medical condition. But grief can trigger feelings of anxiety and [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling-for-grief-five-things-you-need-to-understand-about-grief/), and may even interfere with your health. Many grieving people find that [grief and loss counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) eases the pain of an unfathomable loss, but those who haven’t struggled with grief may not fully understand how grief can fundamentally and permanently change your life. Here’s what you need to know about grief—whether you’re a newly aggrieved person or a loved one trying to help a friend or family member cope with an unimaginable loss. ## Grief Can Make You Sick Particularly if you’ve never suffered through the agony of seemingly endless grief, grief might seem like little more than a minor inconvenience, a form of emotional exhaustion. But grief has profound effects on the body and mind, and research has consistently documented its surprising ability to wreck physical health. Some of the myriad ways in which grief can interfere with your physical health include: - Chronic muscle pain and headaches - Decreased immunity that makes you more likely to get sick - Increased risk of obesity - Increased risk of chronic illnesses such as diabetes and osteoarthritis - Making poor health choices, such as inadequate exercise or poor nutrition, that can further compound grief-induced health problems ## Grief Can Trigger Mental Illness Many of our clients mistakenly believe that the difficulties they experience at coping with everyday life are solely the product of their grief. The truth, though, is that grief can actually trigger mental illness. Grief changes the way your brain and body function, so if you’re already vulnerable to mental illness, you may experience depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and even serious symptoms such as psychosis. Once mental illness rears its ugly head, it’s not going to go away on its own. [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), though, can help address the challenges of grief and the symptoms of mental illness, enabling you to move forward with sound mental health and hope for the future. ## Grief Has No Set Timeline Popular media reports about the “stages of grief” have left many of our clients with the inaccurate impression that grief moves according to a predictable timeline, neatly progressing from one stage to another. Though grief does come in stages, these stages are not predictable or orderly, and they often repeat themselves. Moreover, grief has no expiration date. There’s no set amount of time to grieve that’s “normal.” Instead, the reality is that grief may last forever, particularly when the loss is a significant one. The pain may dissipate over time, but many grieving people find that their grief is re-triggered by life’s ups and downs. A woman whose husband dies may get back to normal after a year, only to find that their anniversary, his birthday, and the holidays are extraordinarily difficult. While we don’t promise to eliminate the pain of grief, we can show you more productive ways of dealing with it. ## Grief Shows Up Unexpectedly Grief is a fickle thing. Just when you think you’ve pinned it down, figured out when it’s going to rear its ugly head, it surprised you again. Many grieving people find that strange things trigger their grief. From happy events that remind you of the loved one who’s no longer there, to facing life’s biggest challenges alone, grief tends to come up over and over again. Grieving people don’t choose to feel bad, and their emotions are not cries for attention; treating them as such only compounds the isolation that grief so often produces. ## Grief Changes and Varies The grief you feel today might not look anything like the grief you experience tomorrow or next year. Grief tends to change over time. It also varies from person to person and loss to loss. For instance, a woman who loses her husband may eventually move on, particularly if he lived a long and happy life and did not die suddenly. But the loss of a beloved pet may spark unbearable emotions that trigger memories of many past losses. Likewise, one person might find the end of a marriage unbearable, while another may quickly recover. There’s no “normal” way to grieve, and applying external standards to your own grief—or to someone else’s—is a recipe for feeling worse, and needing longer to recover. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health, Individual --- ### [Preventing Anxiety and Phobias in Children: 5 Things Parents Can Do](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/preventing-anxiety-and-phobias-in-children-5-things-parents-can-do/) **Published:** August 11, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Between 5% and 16% of Australian children struggle with anxiety disorders each year, and most statistics suggest that the number of anxious children is steadily rising. Anxiety doesn’t just make life difficult for your child; it can cripple your entire family, turning the morning routine into a nightmare, giving rise to endless tantrums, and making even a simple doctor’s appointment into an exhausting chore. Anxiety is a real medical condition no different from [diabetes](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/) or asthma. It’s not something your child chose, and punishing your child for anxious behaviour will only make the problem worse. Likewise, if your child is anxious, it’s generally not your fault or something you caused. There are, however, things you can do to reduce your child’s anxiety, avoid exposing him or her to traumatic events, and help your child grow into a confident and anxiety-free adult. ## Give Your Child Some Autonomy It’s easy for adults to forget how very [little control](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-to-manage-panic-attacks/) children have over their own lives. Imaging how anxious you’d feel if you couldn’t decide what to wear, what to do, or when to go to bed. Children experience similar emotions. While you can’t allow a young child to direct his or her own life, you can give your child more choices. Only exercise your parental authority when it’s necessary for your child’s health or safety. Trying to control every aspect your child’s existence only stymies creativity and encourage anxiety. ## Don’t Restrain Your Child Particularly if your child is prone to fear, you might be tempted to [restrain](https://thethreeseas.com.au/preventing-anxiety-and-phobias-in-children-5-things-parents-can-do/) your child to keep him or her under control—especially at the doctor or dentist’s office. But restraining a frightened child can have long-lasting psychological impacts. Indeed, much research suggests that many phobias begin when a child is restrained. Instead, try reasoning with your child and offering a reward. Only restrain your child when the medical procedure is a true matter of life and death; a dental cleaning can wait for a better day. And if your child is consistently terrified of a medical provider, consider switching providers. Some doctors and dentists are abusive or unkind. In other cases, your child may be particularly sensitive, so if the problem persists, consider getting him or her some [children counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) to address the iss ## Provide a Safe and Comfortable Environment Research consistently shows that children who grow up in unstable, abusive, or otherwise stressful homes are significantly more likely to experience anxiety and other mental health problems. You can’t control everything that goes wrong in your own life, but you can control how it affects your child. Don’t fight in front of your child, or use your child as a pawn in your [divorce](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). Be consistently affectionate, with clear and predictable rules and reasonable punishments. Children who feel safe at home, who know what to expect from their parents, use their family as a secure base from which to explore the world, allowing them to become progressively more independent—and increasingly less anxious. ## Respect Your Child’s Views It’s tempting to try to use your role as a parent to make your child in your own image. Liberal parents want liberal children; religious parents want religious children. This strategy, though, can backfire when your child disagrees with you. Don’t force your child to adopt your opinions on everything. Instead, encourage him to speak his mind. When she differs from you on an issue small or large, [praise your child](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-in-children/) for her thoughtfulness and highlight how important critical thinking skills are. Sure, it’s not easy when your child disagrees with you, but respecting different opinions—even when those opinions are about you or your rules—is a hallmark of mature adulthood. Children who are able to share their ideas are more likely to grow into confident adults. ## Practice Authoritative Parenting Psychologists generally recognize two dimensions of parenting: warmth and control. Very controlling parents who aren’t very warm are called authoritarian parents. They constantly punish and control their children, and may have children who develop severe anxiety. Very warm parents who don’t have any rules are called permissive parents; their children, too, may struggle with phobias and anxiety. But authoritative parents have lots of rules and offer lots of love and affection. This ideal parenting style promotes strong mental health, and can reduce your child’s risk of anxiety, in addition to promoting her psychological, social, and intellectual growth. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Depression, Childrens and adolescents, General Health --- ### [What Makes a Great Counsellor? 5 Signs You've Chosen a Winner](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-makes-a-great-counsellor-5-signs-youve-chosen-a-winner/) **Published:** August 11, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Particularly if you’re new to the world of [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), you might think that one counsellor is just as good as another. But no two therapists or [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) are exactly alike. The warm-hearted former pastor might be an ideal choice for an older Christian man, while a young liberal woman could find the same counsellor completely unhelpful. Research consistently shows that the therapist’s style, clinical training, or philosophy matters far less than his or her relationship with the client. Indeed, a functional and trusting relationship between a counsellor and his or her client is the single best predictor of therapeutic outcomes. If you don’t like your therapist, know that there’s no such thing as an objectively good therapist. What matters is what your therapist does for you. Here are five signs you’ve chosen the perfect therapist. ## You’re Able to Be Honest We all have some skeletons in our closets, and we all struggle with shame about portions of our lives. Therapy can’t work if you can’t be completely honest—even about the facts that you wish were little more than dreams. A variety of factors influence whether or not you’re willing to be fully honest with your therapist, including his or her values, how well your therapist protects your confidentiality, and whether or not you feel judged. If you’re holding back, it may be time to find someone else. ## You’re Making Progress You’re not in therapy for your own amusement, nor are you pursuing counselling to line your therapist’s pockets. Therapy is supposed to improve your life, and the only way to tell if it’s working is to have clear treatment goals. Good counsellors discuss your goals for therapy from the outset; after all, the best therapists are uninterested in keeping you permanently dependent on them. Once your goals are clear, it’s easier to discern whether or not you’re making progress. The rate at which you can expect to progress depends on your goals. Moving past the trauma of being raped, for instance, typically takes more time than grieving the loss of a friend. Ask your therapist how long you can expect to be in therapy, then regularly evaluate whether you’re getting better. If you’re not making progress, ask your therapist to try a different approach. And if you’re getting worse, it’s time to try another counsellor. ## You Like Your Therapist It might feel trivial, but liking your therapist is anything but. Good therapists help you feel valued and respected. They laugh at your jokes and support your goals—even if they’d choose much different goals for themselves. You can’t expect life-changing results from someone you don’t even like, and a therapist who doesn’t “get” you is unlikely to understand how you want to live your life. If you don’t like your therapist when you first meet him or her, odds are good you never will, so trust your instincts, and remember that you deserve a therapist you look forward to seeing. ## Your Therapist Can Accept Criticism No therapist is perfect. Maybe he forgets that you had a bad reaction to an antidepressant, or she doesn’t understand why your religion plays such a seminal role in your life. You can’t expect your therapist to be a mind-reader, and he or she may occasionally give you advice that doesn’t pan out. Good therapists are willing to accept criticism. Indeed, they solicit it, because a therapist can’t help you get your life on track if he or she doesn’t have a keen understanding of what’s working and what’s not. Next time something doesn’t work out like you planned, tell your therapist and observe how he or she reacts. Remember, therapy is your chance to work through emotional issues—not a way for your therapist to feel good about himself! ## Your Therapist Supports Your Values In a world rich with diverse experiences, people, and cultures, few values can fairly be labeled as right or wrong. After all, there are arguments to be made for atheism, religious devotion, and an array of political beliefs. What matters is not that your therapist shares your values—though shared commitments can help deepen your relationship—but that he or she supports those values. Your therapist should not try to convert you to a religion or political ideology. He or she should also work to understand how your values inform your life and decisions. For instance, if you’re committed to the equality of men and women, a therapist who believes that the genders are inherently and unalterably different may not be a good fit. Your counsellor should discuss your values with you, then help you find ways to manifest these values in your daily life. If your therapist is unwilling or unable to do this, it’s time to find someone else. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, Groups, Couples and Families, General Health, Individual --- ### [If I Have a Mental Illness, Do I Have to Take Medication?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/if-i-have-a-mental-illness-do-i-have-to-take-medication/) **Published:** August 19, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Though on television and in the news mental illness is often treated as a shameful condition that produces “crazy” behavior, the truth is that mental illness is very common—and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re crazy! Research suggests that [about 14% of Australians](http://www.mindframe-media.info/for-media/reporting-mental-illness/facts-and-stats) will develop an anxiety disorder each year, with 5% experiencing a major depressive episode. Mental illness doesn’t have to consume your life, even though it’s the third-leading cause of disability in Australia. [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety disorders, and other mental illnesses are highly treatable. In fact, many people with mental illness wonder why they waited so long to seek treatment! But many are also concerned about the side effects of psychoactive drugs. You can treat your condition without medication, but you’ll need to develop a strong relationship with a provider you trust. At Three Seas, we can help you do just that. ## The Benefits of Medication Many people with mental illness are immediately resistant to medication, but this is due in large part to the stigma of mental illness. If you’ve suffered long enough, medication can be your best ally in the fight for good health. Some of the benefits of taking medication include: - Better results; research consistently shows that therapy and medication together are the most effective treatment for mental illness. - Faster results; even if you don’t want to take medication for the long-term, medication can offer you quick relief while you work through deeper issues in [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). - Better health; mental illness isn’t all in your head. It also undermines your physical health. By treating your symptoms now, you can improve your overall health, potentially contributing to a happier and more productive life. ## Why Some People Don’t Want to Take Medication Of course, medication is not for everyone, and good providers should listen to their clients’ concerns about taking medication. Some of the most common concerns our clients share with us include: - Feeling different; many people worry that medication will turn them into a zombie. While this is not a realistic worry, it’s still one that providers should treat with respect. - Side effects; just like medications for physical conditions, mental illness medications often come with some side effects. The good news is that these side effects often fade after your body grows accustomed to the drug. - Not getting better; medication doesn’t work for everyone, and many of our clients find that they have to try several medications before they arrive at the right choice. To some people, this “medication merry-go-round” is a source of immense discouragement. - Concerns about stigmatization. Some clients worry that taking mental illness medication means they’re “crazy.” Nothing could be further from the truth; you’re treating a medical condition that is not your fault. ## Do I Have to Take Medication? No one has to take medication, unless they’ve been ordered by a court to do so—and those situations are so rare that they might as well not happen at all. Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose whether or not you wish to take medication, and you should choose a provider who supports your choice—even if it’s not the choice he or she would make for themselves or a loved one. Sometimes, medication is the only option for getting better. If therapy hasn’t worked, your symptoms are getting rapidly worse, or your symptoms are so severe that they endanger your health and safety, medication could be your best option—and potentially even your only one. If you’re opposed to medication, give some thought to why this might be. Then consider whether a life filled with pain is really worse than taking medication. You may also want to contemplate your long-term future, since failure to take medication could land you in a mental hospital, costing you immense time and stress. ## Alternative Treatments Whether you’re willing to try medication, but want to try other treatments first, or totally opposed to taking drugs, a number of alternative options are available. Those include: - Counselling, the single most effective weapon against mental illness. - Lifestyle changes such as adopting a new hobby, establishing a regular schedule, or working to eliminate negative thoughts. - Exercise; some research suggests that regular exercise can be as effective as some medications! - Eating a healthy, balanced diet. - Using nutritional supplements. Though research is mixed, some herbal therapies, such as St. John’s Wort, may prove effective in the fight against mental illness. - Treating any underlying health conditions. At Three Seas, our [trained psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) offer comprehensive and personalized care. We’ll help you find the best treatment options for your needs, even if that means helping you uncover effective alternatives to psychoactive medications. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Depression, Childrens and adolescents, General Health, Individual --- ### [5 Signs You're Not Ready for Couples Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-signs-youre-not-ready-for-couples-therapy/) **Published:** August 19, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## 5 Signs You’re Not Ready for Couples Therapy When you’re trapped in seemingly intractable conflict with the person you once called your best friend, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by hopelessness. Many couples enter [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) convinced that there’s no way talking to a professional can help them work through infidelity, constant conflict, and other marital challenges. But research suggests that couples counselling is highly effective, with one study finding a stunning 98% satisfaction rate. You may still be wondering, when couples counselling won’t work: 5 signs you’re not ready for therapy. [Couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) isn’t for everyone, though. Sometimes it’s little more than a waste of time. Here are five situations in which couples counselling may not be able to help you after all. ## 1. Couples Therapy wont work if: You Want to Win and Be Right Marriage counselling is about taking responsibility for your own behavior. Even if you’re convinced, you’re right about everything, the best therapists and [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) have a knack for shaking you out of that belief and seeing the other side of things. But if you’re bound and determined to prove that everything is your spouse’s fault, you may be wasting time. Good marriages are founded upon a mutual respect and desire to change. They aren’t founded on the desire to “defeat” your spouse in battle. ## 2. Couples Counselling isnt right for you if: There is Active Infidelity Believe it or not, it’s possible to recover from infidelity. Even if you or your partner have cheated multiple times or with multiple people. Indeed, infidelity can be a powerful catalyst that shakes you out of complacency and inspires you to change your partnership for the better. But if there’s ongoing infidelity—unless you have an open marriage, of course—then that’s another story. You can’t work through the pain of infidelity if the cheating spouse is unwilling to address the source of the pain. Moreover, going to counselling when you’re still cheating shows a remarkable degree of disrespect for your partner. Disrespect has no place in the counselling room or in a marriage. ## 3. Marriage Counselling wont work if: One Partner is Abusive It’s normal to occasionally say unkind things to your partner—even if doing so is completely indefensible. But ongoing verbal or physical abuse can undermine counselling. The problem here is that counselling is founded upon the premise that you’re both to blame for the problems in your marriage, and by understanding one another, you can work yourself out of the hole you’ve dug. When one partner is abusive, though, nothing can explain or excuse the behavior. And counselling that attempts to blame the abuse on the abuse victim is, in and of itself, abusive. Further, research suggests that what happens in [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is sometimes used as an excuse by the abuser to intensify and worsen the abuse. If your partner abuses you, he or she need to seek independent help first. You should move out immediately, to [protect yourself](https://www.police.vic.gov.au/family-violence), and only consider staying for the long-term once your partner has completely ceased all abuse for at least six months. ## 4. Couples Therapy wont work if: One Partner Isn’t Committed You might be surprised to learn that couples counselling can be effective even when only one partner attends. But no matter how dedicated you are, counselling won’t work if one party isn’t committed to the relationship. Therapy can help you decide whether or not to split up. If you’re in disagreement about whether the relationship should last, this is something you need to address before counselling can help. Otherwise, you could end up sinking lots of time and money into counselling, only to have your noncommittal partner walk out the door. ## 5. Marriage Counselling wont work if: You Can’t or Won’t Be Honest Good relationships are built on a strong foundation of honesty. Many couples will find themselves in a counsellor’s office because they cannot stop lying to one another. There’s no shame in admitting to some past deception, but if you’re unwilling to change a pattern of dishonesty, therapy cannot help you. For counselling to work, you need to be honest, even when doing so feels uncomfortable. If you can’t commit to this, you’re behaving disrespectfully toward your partner. Don’t waste your money. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Groups, Couples and Families, General Health --- ### [5 Signs You Need a New Counsellor or Therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-signs-you-need-a-new-counsellor-or-therapist/) **Published:** August 26, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** At Three Seas, we pride ourselves on educating our clients about the benefits of therapy. We encourage you to seek help early if you struggle with mental health issues, because therapy can make a huge difference—even when things appear hopeless. As many as 20 studies have even demonstrated that [therapy can change your brain](http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/psychotherapy/how-psychotherapy-changes-brain). So if you’re investing in the sort of life-changing work therapy can provide, it’s worthwhile to ensure you’re getting the biggest possible return on your investment. Research consistently shows that a healthy, trusting relationship between a counsellor and his or her patient is the single biggest predictor of success in therapy. If you encounter any of these five warning signs, it may be time to come to Three Seas. You wouldn’t give up on medicine just because you had a bad doctor, so don’t ditch therapy just because your first therapist didn’t work out. ## Your Therapist Ignores Your Goals or Valu The best therapists or [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can work with people from all walks of life, even when their clients believe things radically different from what they themselves believe. But some therapists push their clients toward a particular political or religious ideology; others believe that a client’s failure to conform to the therapist’s values constitutes a personal failure. And a handful believe that a specific set of beliefs—such as belief in the equality of the sexes or a belief in God—are “wrong” and must be “cured” in therapy. Good therapists challenge your problematic beliefs. For instance, if you think all men are pigs or that promiscuity inevitably leads to rape, your therapist will make it clear that these beliefs are inaccurate and potentially harmful. You therapist won’t, however, try to change the personality traits that make you you, or attempt to turn you into a carbon copy of your therapist. Everyone is entitled to their own personal values, and therapy shouldn’t force you to compromise yours. ## Your Therapist Doesn’t “Get” You A therapist should make you feel heard and understood, but not all therapists are a good fit for all people. Maybe your therapist doesn’t understand your lifestyle. Perhaps he or she is a poor listener. Or maybe the two of you are just incompatible. If you feel like your therapist doesn’t understand you, it’s time to move on. Good [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) makes you feel less alone, not like a being so alien you don’t even make sense to your therapist! ## You’re Not Making Any Progress Sometimes the first therapist you try just doesn’t work for you. If you want to see changes in your life, you’ll need to be willing to put in plenty of work—and that includes looking at how your own behaviour holds you back. If, despite your best efforts, you’re still not seeing meaningful changes after three to six months, it may be time to move on. You’re in therapy to achieve your goals, not to endlessly talk to a paid listener. If those goals are no closer to your grasp after a few months, it’s time to find someone else. ## You Only Vent On television and in movies, therapy is little more than a chance to talk about your emotions. Your therapist absolutely needs to understand your emotions about your life to help you. But endless rumination about what’s wrong with your life may not help; indeed, it can potentially make things worse. Your therapist should not allow you to spend your entire session talking about your feelings. Instead, he or she should offer you a mix of attentive listening, gentle prodding, and strategizing about what you can do to improve your overall quality of life. ## You Don’t Get Homework If you want to master the art of living well—which is really what therapy is all about—then you need to practice more than once a week during an hourly session! Good therapists give you plenty of opportunities to practice by giving you homework. Of course, they may not call it that. Instead, your therapist might tell you to notice when you’re getting angry or respond to frustrations in a specific way. If you’re not getting specific guidance on how to respond to everyday stresses, you’re not getting what you deserve out of therapy. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, Childrens and adolescents, Groups, Couples and Families, General Health, Individual --- ### [5 Ways Counselling Can Help You Lose Weight](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-ways-counselling-can-help-you-lose-weight/) **Published:** September 10, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** If you’re fighting the battle of the bulge, you’re certainly not alone. [Sixty-three percent](http://www.aihw.gov.au/overweight-and-obesity/) —nearly 2 out of every 3—Australians are medically classified as overweight. You might think your weight is solely a health concern, but mental health is an important factor in your overall health! If diet and exercise aren’t working, or you can’t seem to get up the motivation to stick with a fitness plan, don’t waste time beating yourself up. Many people use food to cope with underlying psychological issues, and almost all overweight people have an unhealthy relationship with food that causes them to overeat when stress. You don’t have to live like this forever, though. [Research consistently proves](http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/750871) that [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is highly effective at helping people lose wight. Here’s how therapy can help you. ## Confidentiality and No Judgment When you go to the doctor, you may be worried that talking openly about your habits will yield nothing but shame and judgment. Maybe you lie to others, or even yourself, about how much you eat. Though this can shield you from the pain of exploring the factors behind your obesity, it won’t protect you in the long-term, and only enables you to continue packing on the pounds. Therapists and [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) specialize in listening without shaming or judging you, and they understand how difficult the battle against weight gain truly is. Your therapist cannot tell anyone about what you say in therapy, not even your family or spouse. And your therapist will never judge you. Instead, he or she will encourage you to talk honestly about your challenges so that together, the two of you can tackle your weight loss goals. ## Debunking Myths, Taking Responsibility Many people become overweight because they don’t have the knowledge they need to remain healthy. For instance, the notion that if your parents are overweight, you’re also destined to be can inhibit your desire to adopt healthy habits. Therapy encourages you to look at your own behavior, and to then find [new ways to deal with old problems](https://bellevueproject.com.au/). This allows you to take responsibility without fear of judgment. Your therapist may also use this time as a chance to educate you about healthy eating, and address any myths you believe about [weight](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obesity-in-children/) and diet. ## Getting a Plan in Place No matter why you’re going to therapy, the goal of therapy is ultimately to develop a clear plan for getting from where you are to where you want to be. Your therapist won’t ask you to do things you can’t do. Instead, he or she will take into account your current needs and challenges, then work with you to craft a plan you can stick with for the long haul. Having this plan makes it easier to [track your progress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/overcoming-your-fear-of-the-unknown/). And if you fall off the wagon and abandon the plan, your therapist will be ready to help you figure out why. ## Offering Emotional Support At their heart, most weight problems are actually emotional problems. People overeat because they’re anxious or sad. They avoid exercise because they’re ashamed or too stressed. And they continue gaining weight because they feel hopeless, worthless, or overwhelmed. Therapy offers you emotional support for every step of the weight loss journey. This support makes losing weight easier, and enables you to identify the specific challenges that make it tough for you to lose weight. Diet and [exercise](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-homework-exercises-to-get-the-most-out-of-therapy/) alone can’t do this; therapy begins treating the problem from the inside out, so that you can keep the weight off for good once you’ve lost it. ## Navigating Challenging Relationships Humans are social creatures; we literally cannot live without others. Deprived of human contact for long enough, people die or become severely ill. But our relationships with others can also be a source of pain and stress. If a troubled marriage, [friendship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/taming-your-temper/), or relationship with a parent leaves you tempted to overeat, therapy can help you find better ways to manage the relationship—all while encouraging you to take note of anything you are doing that might be contributing to the issues you experience. To make matters worse, many overweight people face a constant onslaught of pressure and [judgment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/will-therapist-judge/) to lose weight. Your therapist can help you address these challenges, without turning to food to help you cope. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Eating Disorders, General Health --- ### [Nervous About Trying Counselling? Here's What to Expect](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/nervous-about-trying-counselling-heres-what-to-expect/) **Published:** September 10, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Nervous About Trying Counselling? Here’s What to Expect Are you nervous about trying counselling? We break down what you can expect. Counselling truly has the power to change your life. Across the globe, more and more people recognize this. Indeed, [a recent poll](http://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug04/survey.aspx) found that almost half of Americans had sought mental health care in the last year alone! Though [20% of Australians](https://www.sane.org/information/factsheets-podcasts/204-facts-and-figures-about-mental-illness) experience a mental illness in any given year, our country remains behind the curve when it comes to mental health care. [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) remains somewhat stigmatized, and many Australians mistakenly believe that you have to be “crazy” to seek counselling. Nothing could be further from the truth. Anyone can benefit from counselling, and odds are good that counselling will look nothing like what you’ve feared—or what you’ve seen on TV. If you’re considering therapy and wondering what to expect from your first session, you can always give [Three Seas a call](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/). We’re happy to walk you through the process. No matter where you go, though, here’s what to expect. ## Your First Counselling Session The first session is a chance to get to know your therapist or [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/), share the basics of the challenges you face, and determine whether this counsellor is a good fit for you and your needs. You’ll probably fill out some paperwork, learn about the policies and procedures of the clinic you’ve chosen, and outline a rough treatment plan. It’s unlikely, though, that you’ll delve too deeply into your challenges, so try not to get too excited about the first session. Instead, use this session to ask lots of questions and learn as much as you can about what lies ahead. ## A Few Basics about Counselling If you’re new to counselling, you might be concerned about your privacy, safety, or other factors. Here are some rules that all good counsellors, no matter what they believe or whom they treat, do: - Counselling is confidential under the law, which means your therapist can’t tell other people what you said without your permission. - Your counsellor is not allowed to be your friend, or to engage in a romantic relationship with you. - Your therapist should not contact third parties about you. - Your therapist should work with any other medical professionals who are helping you, such as your psychiatrist. ## More Than Just Feelings In the popular imagination, therapy is little more than lying on a couch endlessly discussing your feelings and problems. But therapy is about a lot more than your feelings. Instead, your therapist will work with you to identify the specific problems you face, then help you create a master plan for successfully tackling these challenges. ## Change Your Attitudes, Change Your Behavior It might be hard to believe right now, but what you think affects what you do. And what you do affects the rest of your life. This doesn’t mean all of your problems are your fault, but the way you react to others affects how they treat you. For instance, a very anxious person might inadvertently alienate her friends, leading to even more anxiety. Therapy helps you identify problematic attitudes, then works with you—always at your own pace—to change these problematic attitudes so that you can change your behavior—and your life. ## The Importance of the [Relationship Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) No one has perfect relationships, and if you’re seeking counselling, odds are better than average that at least a few of your relationships are a source of stress and pain. You can’t change how other people behave, but you can adopt coping skills, all while exploring how your own reactions might affect the behavior of others. Your relationship with your therapist is a safe space to explore how you deal wit others. Through this relationship, certain issues may come to light. For instance, if your therapist notices that you’re always defensive when talking about your job, he or she can help you understand what this defensive attitude reveals about your emotions, as well as how it might affect your relationship with others. Over time, you’ll learn better coping skills and gain mastery over your most important relationships. ## Proactive Counselling and Homework The best counselling isn’t limited to just a session or two a week. Instead, your counsellor should be working with you, on an ongoing basis, to change the way you handle life’s challenges. One of the best ways to do this is to give you homework. You might, for instance, be asked to notice how often you complain, or to practice apologizing three times during the week. Doing this homework—in addition to taking every chance you have to practice the skills you’re learning in therapy—can help you steadily sculpt the life you want and deserve. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health, Individual **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, family counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Mental Health First Aid: 5 Things to Do When You Need to Feel Better Right Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/mental-health-first-aid-5-things-to-do-when-you-need-to-feel-better-right-now/) **Published:** September 18, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Mental health first aid: 5 things to do when you need to feel better right now. Though mental illness stigma continues to be a problem, mental health issues are common. [Fourteen percent of Australians](http://www.mindframe-media.info/for-media/reporting-mental-illness/facts-and-stats), for instance, report experiencing anxiety each year. Of the millions of people who struggle with various mental health issues, only about a third will seek help. At Three Seas, we’re on a mission to change that. Seeking [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is an act of courage and hope that has the power to forever change your life and shift your focus. Though counselling is important on the journey to feeling better, it’s certainly not the only tool. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis right now—whether it’s intense anxiety, thoughts of suicide, or severe [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/)—you deserve relief as quickly as possible. If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide, you need help immediately. Call a loved one, therapist, doctor, or suicide hot line. If you’re experiencing another mental [health](https://www.bizhealth.com.au/) crisis, try one of these surefire, research-backed strategies. ## Get Moving Exercise is great for your long-term mental health, and some studies even suggest it can treat depression and anxiety just as effectively as popular medications. But exercise is more than just a long-term solution; it’s also a quick fix. A quick aerobic workout gives you a burst of endorphins that can lift you out of a bad mood. In pain? That’s no excuse. Exercise offers both immediate and long-term benefits to chronic pain sufferers. ## Change Your Environment Sometimes boredom can feel a lot like depression, and a host of mental health issues, ranging from anxiety to schizophrenia, can sap your energy, convincing you you’re better off staying home. Changing your environment can help ease painful emotions. Try getting out for a cup of coffee, going for a brisk walk, or simply window shopping at your favorite boutique. Changing your scenery can give you a new outlook on the scenery of your life. ## Get Social When you’re feeling bad, talking to others may be the very last thing you want to do, but research consistently shows that human contact is one of the best ways to improve mental health. Don’t lock yourself away. You don’t have to talk to anyone about your feelings if you don’t want to, but the simple act of spending time with a friend or loved one can lift you out of your misery. Plan a weekly outing with someone you love, or simply go to a social event, such as a book club meeting or local festival. Make an effort to talk to people and you may be surprised to see how quickly your spirits improve. ## Meditate Meditation comes in many forms, from focusing on a single object to repeating inspiring mantras. And research shows that it doesn’t just make you feel better; it actually changes the way your brain responds to stress, making you more resilient and healthier over time. Commit to just 20 minutes of meditation a day, and you may see a long-term improvement. For now, though, meditate on the feelings you’d like to replace your current list with, and you may be surprised to see how fast the feelings you want become the feelings you have. ## Nourish Your Body Before you give up on the day or on yourself, ask yourself a simple question: when was the last time you ate? Hunger and dehydration can wreck your mood, even if things are going well. Before you pronounce this day the worst ever, drink a tall glass of ice water, and eat a meal high in protein and rich in fruits and veggies. In just 20 minutes, you might find that you feel better. If you find yourself chronically struggling with hunger-related anger, depression, or sadness, talk to a nutritionist, since deficits in your current eating habits might also help explain deficits in your mental health. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, depression symptoms, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [September is Suicide Awareness Month: 5 Things You Need to Know About Suicide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/september-is-suicide-awareness-month-5-things-you-need-to-know-about-suicide/) **Published:** September 18, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** This September, a wide swath of organizations will be doing their part to end suicide once and for all. September is International Suicide Awareness Month. [About 2,000 people](http://www.mindframe-media.info/for-media/reporting-suicide/facts-and-stats) die of suicide each year in Australia, with thousands more surviving suicide attempts—and often living with permanent disabilities resulting from these attempts. Many people contemplate suicide and want to look away; after all, it’s one of the most horrifying actions another person can take, and many people don’t want to believe that their loved ones are at risk of suicide. In honor of Suicide Awareness Month, here are five suicide facts you need to know. ## Suicide Often Comes With Warning Signs Popular wisdom suggests that people sometimes threaten suicide to get attention, but the research says otherwise. A person who threatens to kill himself or herself is in imminent risk of doing so. Suicide often comes with other warning signs, too, including: - Giving things away - A long period of depression followed by a sudden improvement in mood; some suicidal people feel relief after they make a suicide plan. - Threats to commit suicide; the more detailed the plan is, the greater the risk of suicide. - A history of anxiety or depression - Suffering a recent loss, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one - Access to weapons, or to other means to harm oneself, such as pills - A previous history of suicide attempts - **Addiction to drugs or alcohol** ## You Can Help a Suicidal Loved One If someone you love is feeling suicidal, don’t turn away and don’t shame him or her, since these actions can push your loved one closer to suicide. Instead, try some of the following: - Offer your loved one a distraction, such as a fun outing. - Listen to your loved one, and do not argue with him or her. - Ask what you can do to help. - Encourage your loved one to seek treatment or to call a suicide hot line. - Offer to help your loved one find a counsellor. - Remind your loved one that suicidal feelings are often temporary. - Ask your loved one to commit to not killing him or herself for another day or week; oftentimes, the feelings pass before the end of the promise comes. - **Don’t tell your loved one his or her problems are trivial, or that suicide is selfish. This will only cause your loved one to shut you out and feel more suicidal.** ## Mental Illness and Substance Abuse Are Linked to Suicide Most people who struggle with mental illness have contemplated suicide at one point or another, and substance abuse can compound the desire to die, since drugs and alcohol undermine judgment. If someone you love is struggling with addiction or mental illness, carefully monitor them for signs of suicidal thoughts or feelings. You may save a life if you do so. ## Suicide is Common Though only a small portion of Australians kill themselves, many more attempt to do so. Suicide is common, and it affects people of all ages and walks of life. There is not a “type” of person who kills himself, so don’t reassure yourself with vague proclamations that your loved one is emotionally healthy, or just not the sort to commit suicide. If someone you love is in psychological distress, suicide is a risk that you must take seriously. Ignoring suicide could endanger the life of someone you love. ## Suicide Affects Even the Very Young Young people have so much to live for, and so much time to achieve their goals. So it’s tragic that they are actually the group most likely to kill themselves. Inexperience dealing with life’s challenges, undeveloped brains, financial problems, lack of social support, and a host of other difficulties conspire to convince young people that suicide is the best—and maybe the only—way to manage their problems. Sadly, young people may not be willing to discuss their emotions, due to fear of punishment, mental health stigma, and concerns about whether they are “normal.” If a young person you love is at risk of suicide or struggles with mental health problems, don’t be afraid to initiate the conversation. Asking a loved one how they’re feeling, contrary to popular belief, won’t increase the likelihood he or she commits suicide; indeed, this may be the one thing that prevents another tragic suicide. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [How Long Does Therapy Take?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-long-does-therapy-take/) **Published:** September 22, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Life is stressful. There’s no escaping that simple fact, and all too often, the stress overpowers us. [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can be a powerful tool in the fight against stress, and if you suffer from a mental illness, therapy can prove invaluable. [Fully 14% of the population](https://www.sane.org/information/factsheets-podcasts/204-facts-and-figures-about-mental-illness) experiences a mental illness each year, but only about 10% of those people seek the help they deserve. If you’re considering therapy, you might be worried that the process will be endless, taxing, and pricey. Therapy is surprisingly affordable, though, and you don’t have to be in therapy forever to get results. ## The Role of Treatment Goals Therapy that works begins with clear treatment goals. After all, you have no way of knowing you’re making progress if you don’t know what progress looks like. Ultimately, the length of therapy depends on the complexity of these treatment goals. Working through decades of trauma, for instance, is typically more complex than trying to lose five or 10 pounds, and will likely take longer than a simpler goal. Likewise, the length of your treatment may depend on the number of treatment goals you set. You might enter [Marraige counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) to attempt to repair your marriage, but end up deciding you want to change the way you interact with people or lose weight. As you add treatment goals, therapy may begin taking a little longer. ## How Long is Long Enough? As with most things in life, it’s better to stay in therapy a bit too long than not long enough. Therapy takes time to work; a single session won’t change the way you’ve been doing things for your whole life. Instead, think about the severity of your problem and how much it has affected your life. Consider how difficult if has been to eliminate, then think calmly and reasonably about how long you think it will take to replace problematic old habits with better, healthier new ones. For most habits, that’s going to be somewhere in the vicinity of three to six months. ## A Collaborative Approach Therapy is not something that’s done to you; nor is it something you do all by yourself. The best therapy is a collaboration, which means you and your therapist work together to set treatment goals. From the outset, your therapist should discuss with you how long you can expect treatment to take. Be sure to ask what, if anything, you can do to expedite treatment. ## Time to Say Goodbye? Therapy doesn’t only end when you reach your goals; in some cases, you may exhaust your therapist’s resources. For instance, if you originally sought assistance for a problem in your marriage, but have since experienced a trauma for which you need treatment, your therapist might suggest you try someone else. No therapist can specialize in everything, and sometimes your therapist is no longer able to help—either because your issues change or because they turn out to be different or more complex than they first appeared. It’s time to say goodbye to your therapist if you’re no longer making progress. But it’s only time to quit therapy if you’ve achieved your goals, so be honest with yourself before deciding you’ve permanently graduated from the world of psychotherapy. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents, Couples and Families, General Health, Individual --- ### [Living and Dealing with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/living-with-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/) **Published:** September 22, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** In the popular imagination, post-traumatic stress disorder is reserved for those who have suffered truly horrific traumas, and horrific traumas are relatively rare. The research suggests otherwise. Trauma is common, [with 60% of adults experiencing a traumatic event during childhood alone](http://www.recognizetrauma.org/statistics.php). Nearly a million Australians [experience PTSD in any given year, ](http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-08-27/ptsd-depression-mental-illness/4915164)making this life-altering condition the second most common mental illness. Odds are good that someone you know has PTSD; it might even be you. Many people struggle with this condition without knowing that their symptoms have a name and a cause. But therapy can help you recover from the pain of trauma. ## What Causes PTSD? Though trauma and other life challenges can increase the risk of developing a host of mental health issues, PTSD is the only mental illness that can only occur if a trauma has taken place. Trauma is more than just daily stress or unpleasant events; you don’t, for instance, get PTSD from a bad hair day, a breakup, or stress waiting in line. Instead, you must experience something that causes you to fear for your own or someone else’s safety. So a breakup might make you vulnerable to PTSD if your ex stalks or abuses you, or if you find out your partner has had a child with someone else. Suffering a traumatic event is a necessary condition for developing PTSD, but trauma doesn’t always lead to PTSD. Indeed, most people experience some sort of trauma, but less than half will develop PTSD. Some research suggests that it’s the type of trauma that matters. Interpersonal traumas such as rape and domestic violence are far more likely to cause PTSD than impersonal traumas such as a natural disaster. A number of risk factors can increase your odds of developing PTSD. Those include: - Experiencing multiple traumas - Experiencing another mental health condition - A family history of PTSD or mental illness - Substance abuse ## What are the Symptoms of PTSD? Every person experiences PTSD differently, and you don’t have to experience every symptom to qualify for a diagnosis with this condition. Generally, PTSD is characterized by anxiety, particularly about the source of the trauma. For instance, a rape survivor might be afraid of going out alone or of unfamiliar men. Some other symptoms of PTSD include: - Difficulty regulating your emotions, including experiencing intense anger and fear. - Suffering intrusive memories of the traumatic event. - Experiencing “triggers” that can set off flashbacks of the trauma. For instance, a domestic abuse survivor might experience a flashback when she smells a cologne that smells like her abuser’s cologne. - Avoiding people, places, and things that remind you of the trauma. - Difficulty concentrating. - - Changes in eating or sleeping habits. - Sudden bursts of anger. ## How is PTSD Treated? PTSD fundamentally changes your brain chemistry, so it’s not that you’re having trouble adjusting to life after trauma; it’s that your brain has altered the way it responds to stress. Thus treatment focuses on meeting both your psychological needs and addressing the very real physiological changes PTSD produces. PTSD is treatable, and [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is indispensable in the treatment journey. Some strategies that often help include:Heather Ligouri Esposito we usually text a few times per day. He’s a nurse – so he doesn’t get much downtime. McKenzie Hildreth Ring A handful of random texts throughout the day. A call at night if we are not together. Every couple has different needs in terms of communication. I get crabby if people text or call me all day. It makes me feel smothered. Just do you. **Kate Anderson** Usually a good morning text, maybe something in the afternoon if he gets a chance; mostly they’re just xoxo texts back and forth (dorky mushy). If something is going on, we pass most stuff along by text. He’ll call if he needs to tell me something over the phone. It used to be he’d call once or twice a day, but I got tired of it after a while, because we had nothing really to discuss, and it was messing with the flow of my day. What we do now is perfect. **Gianna Karels** I run into the problem with my guy that he thinks because I work from home that I don’t work. He has a computer / desk job, so he sometimes screws around on the internet, sends me links, texts me, calls me, and I’m usually working so I don’t always reply or answer. This results in him thinking I’m ignoring him, I try to make him realize that just because I’m home doesn’t mean I’m not working. He still doesn’t quite get it. **Deb Turner Brown** We never talked during the day……she says 6-months into a separation unsure emoticon - Various trauma-focused therapies, such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy and trauma-centered cognitive-behavioral therapy. - Meditation to help you relearn how to relax. - Exercise to help you address your anxiety and [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/). - Lifestyle changes such as eating a healthier and more balanced diet. - The use of pharmaceuticals, such as anti-anxiety drugs and antidepressants. - Social support and family education about the challenges of PTSD When a traumatic event has overtaken your life, it’s tempting to think you can never put the pieces back together again. But people can and do recover from trauma, and with counselling from Three Seas, you can join their ranks. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Anger Counselling, General Health, Individual --- ### [5 Relationship Skills to Master for a Better Marriage](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-relationship-skills-to-master-for-a-better-marriage/) **Published:** September 29, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Every year, thousands of Australians divorce. Most of them believed they’d be together forever, and many fought valiantly to save their marriages. At Three Seas, we do [couple counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) every day, advising them how to stay together, minimise conflict, increase communication, and improve intimacy. We’ve found that some skills matter more than others when it comes to keeping your marriage together. Sure, you can talk about communication and love, but these are amorphous concepts. To really create a marriage that stands the test of time, here are 5 relationship skills to master for a better marriage. ## Quit Trying to Be Right Study after study has demonstrated that defensive behaviour destroys marriages. If you respond to every complaint with a complaint of your own, dismiss your partner’s concerns, or silently delight in the biting insult you just hurled in your spouse’s direction, then you’re spending too much time trying to be right. You might feel like you’ve won every fight, but you’ll soon be divorced if you keep up this behaviour. Rather than contemplating what you can do to win or vent your anger, consider what your ideal outcome is, then think about how to get it. For instance, if your wife tells you you’re not helping out enough around the house, consider your ideal outcome. Odds are good it’s an end to the conflict, and the fastest way to achieve that is to ask your wife what you can do differently. This may mean admitting you’re not always right, but it will also mean staying [married](https://jayshetty.me/podcast/jay-and-his-wife-radhi-on-how-to-stop-parenting-your-partner-and-the-perfect-relationship-myth/). ## Learn How to Listen Without Judgment When was the last time you really listened to your spouse? If you’re anything like most couples we treat, you spend a lot of time responding to what you think your spouse has said, not what he or she actually said. Master the art of listening without judgment or defensiveness, though, and you’ll have fewer conflicts. You’ll also have more to talk about. To hone this skill, ask your spouse to clarify when something sounds aggressive, or you don’t understand. And don’t fly off the handle if he or she initially attacks, since remaining calm can induce your spouse to tone down the rhetoric and retreat. For example, if your husband begins screaming that you’re irresponsible with money, ask him to clarify, then reflect to him his concerns to show that you understand them. In many marriage conflicts, simply acknowledging the conflict is enough to cause that conflict to dissipate. ## Master Sincere Apologies Everyone makes mistakes, even you. Many couples, especially those in high-conflict marriages, behave as though their partner’s failings mean they don’t have to apologise. The man whose wife cheated might feel no obligation to apologise for calling her names. But all hurtful behaviour warrants an apology, and if you’re unwilling to apologise, you may soon find yourself splitting up your family and possessions. To give a sincere apology: - Acknowledge what you did wrong. Speak in the active voice. Not, “I’m sorry you were hurt,” but “I’m sorry I hurt you.” - Tell your partner what you plan to do to avoid the behaviour in the future. - If the behaviour was especially egregious, plan on several apologies, and don’t forget to reassure your spouse regularly. - Don’t give backhanded apologies such as “I’m sorry you misunderstood me.” Apologise for your behaviour. ## Do Something Loving Every Day Everyone wants to feel special, but if you’re waiting for your partner to step up to the plate and become a master of romance, you’re doing it wrong. Model what you want by doing something loving for your spouse every day. It can be something small, like making her coffee or bringing him flowers, but the key is to repeat a kind action every day. People who do nice things for their partners have happier marriages, and report more positive feelings about their spouses. ## Dig Deeper In the early years of your courtship, things were more exciting because you were just getting to know your spouse. But your spouse hasn’t stopped growing and evolving, and neither have you. Asking lots of questions can help you get the conversation flowing, and may even help you get to know your spouse on a deeper level. Practice asking as many open-ended follow up questions as possible when your partner speaks. These questions enable you to steadily unearth parts of your partner you might never have otherwise known about. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Couples and Families, General Health, Individual **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, couples retreat, marriage counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [How to Choose a Psychiatrist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-choose-a-psychiatrist/) **Published:** October 19, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** How to Choose a psychiatrist? And what is the difference between a psychiatrist versus a psychologist (a very common question). If you think you might never need a psychiatrist, think again. Nearly half of the Australian population will face a mental health condition, such as depression, anxiety, or [obsessive compulsive disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-2/), at some point during their lives. It can be confusing to choose a provider—even more so when you need several providers. If you’re in need of a psychiatrist, here’s how to ensure you get a good one. ## Do I Need a Psychiatrist? First, a bit about terminology. In the popular imagination, psychiatrists treat mental health issues. More typically, it’s [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/), counsellors, and therapists addressing the daily challenges of mental illness. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in psychological issues, enabling him or her to prescribe psychiatric drugs. Thus a psychiatrist is the right choice if you’re interested in taking medication for your symptoms. Because treatment works best when you blend medication and therapy, you should consider seeing a counsellor in addition to your psychiatrist. ## The Importance of Listening Good psychiatrists listen, because without careful listening, they may miss important symptoms. When you first meet with a new psychiatrist, consider: - Whether he or she asks lots of questions, or appears to be rushing you out the door. - Whether she or her is willing to give you your full appointment time, and not just a few minutes. - Whether he or she appears to take your symptoms seriously, and treat them as worthy of rapid relief. - Whether he or she affirms your values and identity, even if you don’t want to take certain medications or have other concerns about treatment. ## Coordinating With Your Care Team Treatment works best when you receive both [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) and medication. But to truly maximize your benefits, your psychiatrist should work closely alongside your therapist. He or she must be willing to discuss treatment options regularly with your therapist, to support you in achieving therapeutic goals, and to discuss your treatment with your other medical providers. For instance, some psychiatric drugs can affect medications for high blood pressure, diabetes, and other conditions. To ensure treatment for one medical condition doesn’t undermine your recovery from another, your treatment team needs to remain in touch. ## Taking Your Concerns Seriously Taking psychiatric drugs isn’t always easy, and some drugs just don’t work for some people. Good psychiatrists take your feedback seriously, and listen to you if you say there’s a certain side effect you cannot tolerate. A psychiatrist who, by contrast, pressures you to try a drug with sexual side effects when you’ve already said you cannot tolerate these side effects is minimizing your emotions and ignoring your treatment needs. Having preferences is not a sign of mental illness, and a physician who treats you otherwise demands an immediate replacement. ## Offering Holistic Treatment In the popular imagination, holistic treatment means New Age spirituality, herbs, or crystals. In reality, holistic treatment is simply treatment that addresses your full needs—physical and psychological. Holistic psychiatrists don’t just send you home with a stack of prescriptions. The talk to you about your lifestyle, nutrition, and exercise habits. They assess whether you’re taking proactive and positive steps to get better. No matter how effective they are, no medication is side effect free, and a good physician will minimize the number of prescriptions you need by ensuring you receive the spectrum of care that can help you feel better. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression --- ### [Can You Treat Mental Illness Without Medication?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/can-you-treat-mental-illness-without-medication/) **Published:** October 19, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Mental illnesses are real illnesses, not failures to cope or ploys for attention. All too often, though, people with mental health issues forgo treatment for months or years, all because they feel ashamed of their condition. [One in four young people](https://mhaustralia.org/sites/default/files/imported/component/rsfiles/factsheets/statistics_on_mental_health.pdf), and almost half of the Australian population, experience a mental health condition at some point. The clients who patronize Three Seas are obviously brave souls who want help. But they also struggle with the same mental health stigma the general population faces. Oftentimes they’re hesitant to take medication, because they worry it will alter their personality, remove control over their lives, or otherwise decrease their overall quality of life. Medication works, and research consistently proves that [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) combined with medication is the most effective treatment for mental illness. It is sometimes possible to treat mental illness without medication, but it’s rarely the best option. ## Why People Avoid Medication Medication may save lives, but it’s not always easy to find the right drug or dosage. Most people who try mental health medications have to try a couple of different drugs before they arrive at one that works. This can be a demoralizing process, but is made less so when patients treat the process as an experiment. The issues don’t end there, though. Many mental health medication carry side effects. Side effects tend to appear early, and often disappear by the time the medication has begun to take effect. For many patients, simply being willing to tolerate side effects for a few weeks may be all it takes to find the right drug. But if the side effects are truly intolerable, you don’t deserve to suffer. ## Medication: Short-Term vs. Permanent Many of our patients don’t want to take medication because they worry they’ll have to do so for the rest of their lives. In some cases, this is true, especially if you have a condition like schizophrenia, or a lifelong history of mental illness. More frequently, though, medication is a stop-gap measure. It offers help as you work through your issues in therapy, and works to help re-align your brain chemistry. With enough time and effort, you may be able to reduce your dosage, or even stop taking medication altogether. Of course, you should never do so without first talking to your doctor. ## Brain Chemistry, Behaviour, and Lifestyle Discussions about medication often focus on brain chemistry, treating it as an immutable characteristic. But everything you do affects your brain, which is why therapy and lifestyle changes can be so effective at mitigating brain chemistry issues. A person whose brain doesn’t produce enough dopamine, for instance, can “teach” her brain to do so by exercising more, re-framing negative thoughts, and adopting other healthy lifestyle strategies. Over time, this can help you wean yourself off of medication. ## How Therapy Helps If you’re not yet ready to try medication, you can still pursue treatment. Therapy is effective at treating virtually every mental illness. It may not be enough on its own, but you won’t know until you try. Some of the ways therapy helps include: - Helping you identify and break unhealthy patterns. - Making healthy lifestyle recommendations. - Helping you more effectively relate to loved ones, while aiding you to discuss your condition with them. - Offering gentle feedback on your feelings, as well as an unbiased perspective on your actions. - Offering tips on coping with daily stress. ## Making the Decision Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether to take medication. No one can force you to take a drug you don’t want, and you have a right to set the course of treatment. But consider trying medication, since it can offer faster relief than therapy, in addition to strengthening therapy’s beneficial effects. If you’re on the fence, give [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) a try to see if it helps. You may find yourself interested in trying medication once you see the incredible progress therapy alone has offered. You’re in the driver’s seat, and at Three Seas, we honour all perspectives on treatment. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, Couples and Families, General Health --- ### [5 Strategies That Can Improve Your Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-strategies-that-can-improve-your-relationship-from-a-therapist/) **Published:** November 4, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Marriage may be a dying tradition as research consistently shows that the decline in marriage is due in part to the notion that marriage is no longer a recipe for happiness. Here are 5 strategies that can improve your relationship, from a therapist. Statistics shows that marriage rates [declined by 3.5% in 2013](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities/marriages-and-divorces-australia/latest-release)—the latest year for which such figures are available. High divorce rates, complaints about marriage in popular media, and the increasingly high demands couples place on their marriages. But a long-term relationship doesn’t have to be endlessly taxing, nor should it be a source of misery. The truth is that relationships are what you make them. It’s not what your partner does that matters most; it’s how you react. You really can create a happier relationship, even without making any changes in your partner. The critical insight is realizing that you are in control, and that your behavior has every bit as much to do with the happiness of your relationship as your partner’s. Here are five strategies that can improve any relationship. Our therapists have identified these 5 strategies that can improve your relationship, below: ## Improve your Relationship by doing Something Nice Every Day If you want kindness, you often have to offer it. When you are kind to your partner, he or she is more likely to be kind to you. Equally important is the fact that kindness will improve your partner’s quality of life, and ultimately, your relationship. Commit to doing one kind act for your partner each day, no matter what. You might cook dinner, do the laundry, send a love letter, or sneak in a few romantic texts. ## Improve your Relationship by Focusing on and Naming the Positive Humans gravitate toward the negative. It helps us ward off threats before they escalate, but it also causes us to be way too negative with those we love the most. Odds are good you criticize your partner more than you compliment. Remedy this by committing to giving your partner at least five compliments each day. Not only will it boost your partner’s self-esteem; it will also remind you of why you fell in love with this person in the first place, potentially bringing the spark back to your relationship. And, of course, once your partner sees you doing this, he or she might opt to do it for you, too. ## Improve your relationship by Abandoning the Four Horsemen Relationship expert John Gottman is so good at predicting divorce that he can do it with 90% accuracy, even in the early stages of a courtship. His research suggests that four behaviors, more so than anything else, increase the odds of a divorce. He terms these behaviors the “four horsemen,” after the Biblical horsemen that foretold the apocalypse. If you really want a better relationship, it’s time to abandon these four behaviors: - - Criticizing your partner; Gottman says you need to give 20 compliments for every criticism. - Stonewalling by avoiding discussion, leaving in the middle of discussion, or refusing to listen to your partner’s feelings. - Defensiveness: If your partner has a complaint, don’t attack him or her. Take the concern seriously. - **Contempt is when you react to your partner with disgust or hatred. This approach minimizes your partner’s feelings and humanity, and includes such behaviors as eye-rolling, name-calling, and trying to “win” fights by saying or doing unkind things.** ## Improve your Relationship by working on Yourself When you love someone, you see a lot of yourself in them. Next time you have a complaint about your partner, consider taking a long, hard look at yourself instead. For every complaint you have, find something about yourself you can work on. You may be surprised at how quickly this strategy improves not only your relationship, but also your career and social life. There are some excellent resources for self-improvement if this is something that interests you such as [Ailey Jolie ](https://www.instagram.com/aileyjolie/)or [free worksheets.](https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-style-worksheets/) ## Improve your Relationship by Cultivating Empathy Whether your partner is doing something specific that bothers you, or your relationship just doesn’t seem to have the spark it once did, it’s easy to fixate on how your partner is affecting your emotions. Much more challenging is seeing things from your partner’s perspective. Empathy is a game-changer in relationships. It can help you avoid saying hurtful things, quell anger, and even save a floundering marriage. For one week, commit to seeing everything from your partner’s perspective, without judging, criticizing, or getting angry. You may be surprised by how much your relationship changes as a result. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [children counseling services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/), [psychoanalytic therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalytic-psychodynamic-therapy/), and more! Browse our services today or [contact us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families **Tags:** counselling, couples counselling, couples retreat, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Quitting Medication? Here's How to Make the Transition Easier](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/quitting-medication-heres-how-to-make-the-transition-easier/) **Published:** November 6, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Some research suggests that short-term use of psychiatric medications may remedy chronic issues with neurotransmitters. But going off of psychiatric medications isn’t always easy. If you’re ready to wean yourself off, follow these tips to make the process more manageable. Australian [doctors](https://www.morelandgp.com.au/) write more than [30 million prescriptions](https://mhsa.aihw.gov.au/WorkArea/DownloadAsset.aspx?id=38654706051) for psychiatric medications each year. But contrary to popular belief, most people who receive psychiatric medications won’t take them forever. Psychiatric medications often fill in the gap between treatment and success. For instance, [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can effectively combat [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), but medication offers more rapid relief. Thus when a patient has gotten relief from therapy, he or she may opt to drop the medication altogether. Likewise, medication can help correct a brain chemistry problem. ## Consider Your Reasons No one wants to take medication for the rest of their life, but there is no harm in continuing to take a medication that works for you—even if you take it forever. Before you opt to wean yourself off of psychiatric medications, consider why you want to do so. Is it that you’ve made real progress, and want to try life without medication? Are you ready to stop worrying about side effects? Or are you just frustrated by the notion of having to take medication forever? If it’s the latter, talk to your doctor, since you likely do not have a good reason to go off of medication—of course, treatment decisions are up to you, which means your doctor should support your decision even if he or she does not agree with it. ## Talk to Your Doctor No matter how good you feel or confident you are in your decision, you should never stop taking psychiatric medications without first discussing your decision with your doctor. Your doctor will help yo weigh the relative risks and benefits, then will help you arrive at a final decision that maximizes your benefits while minimizing your risks. ## Enlist the Assistance of a Therapist If you’re not already in therapy with a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/), there is absolutely no reason to believe that quitting medication will be beneficial. Some people feel better on medication, then assume they’re cured—not that the medication is working. If you’re ready to manage life without medication, spend some time in therapy first. When you get to a point where you’re ready to quit the medication, a therapist can speed up the process by offering you the support you need. If it turns out you need to go back on medication, your therapist can help you manage your emotions until the medication kicks back in. ## Taper Down the Dosage Depending upon the drug you take, your best course of action might be to gradually taper down the dosage. Ask your doctor if this is an option for you, then follow the schedule he or she outlines. Psychiatric medications need time to leave your system, and steadily tapering down the dosage can help you avoid the misery of withdrawal. ## Manage Your Health and Nutrition Now is not the time to stop exercising, go on a crash diet, or make a life-changing decision. If you want to stay happy and balanced as you quit medication, you need to turn your attention to your physical health. Eat a diet rich in lean proteins, fresh fruit and vegetables, fiber, and whole grains. Get at least 150 minutes of exercise per week, and ask your doctor if a nutritional supplement could help you maintain your sound mental health. ## Monitor Your Symptoms One of the strangest things about mental illness is how the symptoms creep up on you. Few people wake up feeling depressed or anxious one day, after previously feeling fine. Instead, symptoms settle in slowly and imperceptibly, making it difficult to notice psychiatric warning signs when they first happen—which is often when they’re easiest to treat. Consider keeping a log of your symptoms for the first month after you quit medication. Small, imperceptible changes can steadily escalate out of control, but a log of symptoms allows you to catch these symptoms. Sure, you might not want to go back on medication, but if medication is the only thing separating you from misery, then it’s worth swallowing your pride. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [5 Myths About Domestic Violence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-myths-about-domestic-violence/) **Published:** November 13, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** No matter how you define domestic violence, no matter what you think about the topic, and no matter who you know who has been a victim, one thing is clear: Australia has a serious issue with domestic violence. More [than a third of Australian](http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/domestic-violence-statistics.php) women have experienced domestic violence, with a million women assaulted each year. We often work with domestic violence survivors, and we know it’s a long road from abuse to survival, and from survival to recovery. Sadly, a number of myths about domestic violence continue to deter victims from seeking help, and undermine the ability of bystanders to offer meaningful assistance. It’s time to finally put these domestic violence myths to bed. ## Therapy Can’t Fix Domestic Violence [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is the single most effective tool for victims trying to recover from the aftermath of domestic violence. If you are a survivor, you may need help to rebuild your self-esteem, move beyond [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), and avoid finding yourself in this situation again. Abusers often create a cycle of domestic violence, and after a survivor experiences abuse initially, they can perceive subsequent abuse as normal or even as an expression of love. Therapy helps you break free from that damaging cycle. But what about couples involved in domestic violence relationships. Research consistently shows that therapy can be dangerous if the abuse is ongoing. Therapy is built upon the notion that both partners share responsibility for their struggles, but the abuser—and the abuser alone—is the party responsible for domestic violence. If the abuse has stopped and the abuser is willing to take responsibility, therapy can help. Otherwise, we recommend that victims seek individual counselling instead of [couple counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) and that perpetrators seek assistance from a therapist or a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) who works with abusers. ## Domestic Violence Only Happens to Women About 90% of domestic violence perpetrators are men, but this does not mean that women are the only people who are abused. Abuse against men is increasingly common, particularly in same-sex relationships. But don’t allow yourself to be fooled by false claims about women’s violence. Though women can and do become violent, research shows that women’s violence is comparatively less severe, usually limited to slaps and other low-level forms of violence. Men are significantly more likely to kill or severely wound their partners. Therapists who treat a woman who slaps a man once and a man who bludgeons a woman into unconsciousness as equally responsible commit a grave error. ## Domestic Violence Victims Cause Their Own Abuse Abusers often blame victims, even when victims behave poorly or are unfaithful. However, the victim’s actions can’t justify violence; it’s solely the abuser’s responsibility. Domestic violence is the abuser’s fault. Aggression stems from violent individuals, even when provoked. Believing an attack was deserved indicates a serious violence issue. ## Domestic Violence is Rare and Inconsequential Research indicates frequent domestic violence, affecting roughly 1/3 of women and 3% of men. These assaults can be lethal, especially for women in Australia and globally causing harm and death. A single slap often snowballs into a sustained attack; men who initiate violence tend to persist beyond the initial instance. ## Anyone Can Snap Domestic abusers often say that thy snapped, or lost control. The truth is that normal, healthy people do not suddenly snap and attack people they love. Domestic violence is not normal, and it’s not acceptable to attack someone you claim to love. Love is about protection and service, not violence and control. If you or someone you care about is involved in a domestic violence relationship, please seek help now, before it’s too late. Abusers can and do kill their victims, but leaving before things get out of control could save your life. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog --- ### [Five Rules for Protecting Your Children Through a Divorce](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-rules-for-protecting-your-children-through-a-divorce/) **Published:** November 20, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** In the popular imagination, divorce marks the end of a family, and the beginning of a long and painful struggle over finances, custody, and why the marriage ended in the first place. No doubt, a divorce is always tragic, but sometimes it is also necessary. Research consistently demonstrates that divorce is damaging to children, **[producing lower grades, more emotional, psychological, and behavioural issues, and an increased risk of substance abuse.](http://www.children-and-divorce.com/children-divorce-statistics.html)** What many parents don’t know is that, while divorce is harmful, it’s the circumstances surrounding the divorce that compound the harm. Contentious custody battles, campaigns to alienate the children from one parent, and endless conflict all conspire to strain children’s resilience. If you’re getting divorced, here are five ways to minimize the damage. ## Consider Family Counselling or Relationship counselling If you’re still in the early stages and not really sure whether or not you want to get divorced, consider [family counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) or [relationship counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/), which can help you decide whether divorce is the right choice for you and your family. Even if you’re already set on your decision, though, family counselling can help. Your counsellor will work with you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse to craft new ways of communicating and relating that work for your new relationship. You may even be able to hammer out the details of your child custody arrangement. ## Share Custody of Your Children Sure, you’re mad at your ex. Maybe you even hate him or her. But your children do not deserve to be punished for your ex’s mistakes. No matter how angry you are, and even if your ex is a less competent parent than you are, depriving your children of one parent is a recipe for disaster. Unless your ex is abusive and dangerous, with no willingness to change, your children need him or her in their life. Don’t embark on a campaign to kick out your child’s other parent, since doing so will exact an immense toll on your children’s welfare. ## Don’t Badmouth the Other Parent Half of your child comes from your ex, and your child knows this. When you tell him or her that your ex is bad, you are therefore telling your child he or she is bad. No child deserves to feel this way. Moreover, when you bash your ex to your child, you force your child to either accept what you say, or to fight with you—two losing prospects for most children. And if your child tells your ex what you say, your words could intensify the conflict and even land you in legal trouble. ## Maintain Consistency and Routines Children thrive on routines and consistency. This is especially true when their parents are going through a divorce. Stick to your children’s current routings as much as possible. Now is not the time to move or change schools, and it’s certainly not time to take your children away from family by prohibiting your in-laws from spending time with them. It’s a parent’s job to protect that which children love, even when the parent is struggling with the pain of a divorce. If you’re having trouble maintaining consistently, consider talking to a counsellor who can help keep you on track. ## Don’t Rely on Your Children for Emotional Support Divorces are so painful that many divorcing people contemplate suicide. **[One study](http://www.suicide.org/divorce-and-suicide.html)** found that divorce increases the vulnerability to suicide by 300%. You deserve emotional support, so seek it—from friends, from family, from a counsellor. But don’t lean on your children for emotional support, and especially not when it’s their reaction to the divorce that causes you pain. Children deserve to feel that their parents are strong and competent, and having to parent a parent is inevitably damaging to children’s self-esteem and sense of security. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families, General Health **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, parenting, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [6 Rules for Better Communication](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/6-rules-for-better-communication-with-loved-ones/) **Published:** November 23, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** 6 Rules for Better Communication With Loved Ones from an expert psychologist. Humans have evolved to be complex animals with equally complex relationships. But the results are unsurprising: when communication fails, so too do relationships. Poor communication is the lading cause of divorce, and has contributed to the deaths of millions of friendships. When communication suffers, most people blame the other party, since it’s hard to accept that you’re imperfect. It takes two to communicate, and two to err in communication. So if you’re invested in improving your communication skills, it’s time to start with yourself. ## Ask Yourself What You Want Particularly during times of conflict, many of us become fixated on venting rather than communicating. Telling your mother all the ways she has failed you might feel good, but is unlikely to get you the result you want. Before you talk to another person about any issue, small or large, ask yourself what end result you hope for. Knowing your goal—an apology, better understanding of one another, or simple information—can help you construct a communication strategy that aids, rather than undermines, your attempts to achieve it. ## Don’t Attribute Motives Unless you’re inside of someone else’s head, you don’t know what they’re thinking. Don’t pretend you do. Attributing motives to another person– “You did this to hurt me;” “That’s because you’re lazy;” “If you really loved me you’d…”–tears down communication because it prohibits the other person from sharing their own thoughts. Don’t tell another person what he or she thinks. Ask them instead. And rather than telling a loved one why you think they did something, focus on how it made you feel. For instance, “When you forget to pick the kids up at school, it makes me feel like you don’t value my time, and like you don’t think about our family during the day.” ## Check Your Tone When you’re angry, scared, or frustrated, it’s easy to say things in a tone that sounds aggressive and accusatory. When the other person calls you on this, it’s equally easy to respond that your words weren’t hurtful. But if you really want to resolve conflict, you shouldn’t focus on “technically” following the rules. You should focus on communicating in a way that does not harm the other person. Monitor your tone throughout the discussion, and if it gets aggressive, apologize and alter the way you speak. ## Focus on Empathizing, Not Winning People embroiled in heated debates often lose sight of the obvious: they’re fighting because they love each other. Don’t become fixated on winning the dispute at all costs, because a temporary win is a long-term loss, especially if it hurts your loved one or destroys your relationship. When you feel tempted to say or do something mean to win, take a deep breath, then focus on understanding the other person’s perspective. ## Don’t Be Defensive No one is perfect. Not even you! A hallmark of a healthy relationship is the ability to accept and appropriately respond to criticism. If you find yourself deflecting or defending against each and every critique the other person offers, you’re doing things wrong. Criticism from someone who loves you offers you meaningful insight, as well as the chance to become a better friend, partner, or spouse. Listen carefully, and respond with love, not defensiveness. ## Offer Love and Affection Even in the midst of a fight, you should continue being loving. Doing so can remind you why you’re fighting for this relationship in the first place, and help you avoid angry outbursts. Before you say anything critical, say two things you love about the other person. Continue offering love and affection throughout the discussion, and never ignore the suffering of your loved one. If your conversation partner starts crying, it’s time to offer a hug and some reassurance. If you can’t manage to do this, it’s a sure sign you have a problem with anger and conflict management. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [treating insomnia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/), [psychodynamic therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalytic-psychodynamic-therapy/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog --- ### [5 Common Parenting Practices That Hurt Kids](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-common-parenting-practices-that-hurt-kids/) **Published:** November 24, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Think about the way you parent your children. Odds are good that you think the way you do things is the “right” way. But parenting is heavily influenced by culture, early experiences, and yes, psychological problems. An angry person who was abused as a child [might](https://thethreeseas.com.au/signs-your-child-might-have-an-anxiety-disorder/) see beating her child till he bleeds as normal, for instance. At Three Seas, we often work with families in crisis to encourage them to abandon unhealthy practices. If you’re willing to survey your own behaviour, though, you can stop these practices before they begin. Here are five [things even good parents](https://thethreeseas.com.au/preventing-anxiety-and-phobias-in-children-5-things-parents-can-do/) do that harm their kids. ## Spanking It doesn’t matter if your parents did it, or if you know spanked children who turned out all right. The [evidence](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-baby-scientist/201812/the-science-spanking) is universal that spanking harms children. You are not teaching your child how to behave; you’re teaching him or her violence and aggression. Some of the problems spanking has been associated with include: - [Mental illness](https://thethreeseas.com.au/if-i-have-a-mental-illness-do-i-have-to-take-medication/) - Drug addiction - Aggressive and violent behaviour - Bad grades in school - Lowered IQ - Violence toward parents - Difficulty concentrating - Breakdown of trust between parent and child Don’t be fooled by your parents or grandparents’ ideas about parenting. As we learn more, we know how to parent more effectively, and if you do something simply because your parents did it, you miss out on a chance to help your children achieve even more than you have. ## Shaming Shaming runs the gamut from telling a child he was “bad” to shaving a child’s head or insulting his appearance. Shame teaches children not that what they have done is bad, but that they themselves are bad, and it never works. Some children may temporarily behave better because shaming is so painful and they want to avoid it. Over time, though, shaming tears down children’s psyches, producing damaged, suffering, and often destructive adults. ## Isolation A generation ago, we learned that time-out was a more humane approach to parenting, because it helped parents avoid spanking their children. There’s nothing wrong with giving a child a bit of time to think about her behaviour, but isolating children for long periods of time is a terrible idea. Some children are frightened by being alone by themselves, and this can be traumatic in its own right. But even the bravest children are harmed by isolation. Don’t separate your child from the family just because you did something you dislike. ## Fear-Based Parenting Fear is the opposite of respect. Children do not respect parents they fear, no matter what you might have heard. If you us fear to motivate your child to do things, you’ll quickly produce a compliant child. That child, though, will comply with anyone—not just you—and that makes him or her vulnerable to peer pressure and a host of other ills. Worse still, fear-based parenting can lead to anxiety disorders, PTSD, substance abuse, and a gradual deterioration in the relationship between a parent and her child. Avoid this harmful strategy. ## Inconsistency Children who are only expected to behave sometimes learn that they never have to behave. For instance, a child who whines and then gets what he wants will learn that whining works, and perhaps even that it’s good. It’s tough to be consistent with kids, but some parents resort to enforcing the rules only when they are angry or their child’s behaviour becomes frustrating or annoying. A rule is a rule, no matter when it is broken, so remember that if you want well-behaved children, you must be universally consistent. Avoid punishing for solely emotional or convenience reasons. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents --- ### [The role of a therapist or psychologist. What Do Therapists Do, Anyway?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-role-of-a-therapist-or-psychologist/) **Published:** November 25, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** What do therapists do, anyway? and what can you expect from your therapist? We delve into the role of a therapist or psychologist in this article. Read on to find out more about therapy, psychology and psychologist services near you. You might have noticed that, at Three Seas, we talk a lot about what bad therapy looks like. After all, we want to ensure that potential patients get first-rate treatment, even if they don’t get it from us. But how do you know when you’re getting good therapy? What can you expect, and how long will it take? Here are six things you can and should expect out of therapy. ## A Judgment-Free Space You can’t talk about your deepest secrets and biggest challenges if you are afraid of being judged and stigmatized for doing so. Thus the highest goal of most good therapists is to offer their patients a space where they can safely share their thoughts and feelings. That means listening with compassion and objectivity, and never making you feel guilty or ashamed of who you are. Therapist or [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) often refer to this as “unconditional positive regard,”. This means that your therapist will treat you as a good person, diligently encouraging you to be the best self you can be, even when you reveal parts of yourself of which you are less than proud. ## Confidentiality You can’t share confidently if you are worried about your therapist telling your loved ones about what you said in [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). For this reason, all therapists offer their patients confidentiality. Your therapist can only break confidentiality in the most dire of circumstances, such as if you are a danger to others or have made a credible threat to harm yourself. Even then, your therapist can only tell people who are equipped to help you, and can only give them the information they need to help you—not intimate details of your personal life or feelings. ## Critical Feedback on Your Behaviour You can’t change the people around you, and you may not be able to change your job or your financial situation. Even if you can, these issues will never change if you don’t also change your behaviour. The ultimate goal of therapy is to change your thoughts and your feelings, so that you can take healthier actions that support, rather than undermine, your long-term goals. This means that good therapists will provide you with feedback by, for instance, pointing out that you seem to always blame other people or that you are chronically late. This feedback is not intended to insult you. Instead, its goal is to help you know what you need to do to live the life you want. ## Insight Into Your Patterns Most of us follow patterns of behaviour without even being aware that we are doing so. Maybe you chronically try to avoid abandonment, but your efforts actually chase people away. Or maybe you are dishonest because our parents frequently penalized dishonesty. The only way to change these patterns is to identify them and where they cam from. That is precisely what good therapy offers you—insight into your history and behaviour. ## Advice—But Not Instructions Good therapists occasionally give advice about the next steps to take toward your goals. But therapists are supposed to help you become yourself, not tell you who to be or model your life after their life. Expect to get advice and insight from your therapist, but don’t expect your therapist to tell you what to do, since good therapists will guide you to those decisions without giving explicit instructions. ## Compassionate Support Sometimes just having an open-minded listener is enough to inspire hope for a brighter tomorrow. Your [therapist](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/psychiatrists-and-psychologists) will listen to your thoughts and feelings, offering you affectionate and compassionate support. This helps you realize you still have value, even when you’re emotionally distraught. Over time, this compassionate support can inspire you to live more deeply, openly, and honestly, and may eventually take you closer to the life you’ve always wanted. We have a wide range of [30+ psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) working as part of the Three Seas Team. You can also reach out to our well trained & experienced [client connect team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-existing-customer/) who will be able to answer in of your questions. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How to Set Clear Boundaries at the Holidays](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-set-clear-boundaries-at-the-holidays/) **Published:** December 7, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** For a lucky few among us, the holidays are everything they purport to be: a relaxing chance to spend time with family, celebrate love, and bask in the glow of another year well-lived. But for too many people, thoughts of the holidays are more likely to call to mind images of screaming relatives, demanding parents, and endless debt. If the holidays inspire dread for you, you’re not alone. If you’ve spent any time researching how to better manage your family and your emotions, you’ve probably heard that you need to set better boundaries. What does this mean? Setting boundaries isn’t easy. After all, if it were, then everyone would do it and we all really could have blissful holidays. With a little commitment, an awareness of your own emotions and, if necessary, try [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), this holiday season can be the time you finally draw clear boundaries. ## Boundaries Are for You, Not the Other Person One of the biggest mistakes we see our clients make is believing that boundaries are for the other person. You cannot control how another person treats you; you can only control your response. Boundaries are about teaching people how to treat you, and making clear the consequences for treating you poorly. Some examples: - Bad boundary: “Mom, you will not be allowed to criticize me this year.” Good boundary: “I will end the conversation if my mom begins criticizing me.” - Bad boundary: “Dad, I’m not going to let you make racist jokes at dinner.” Good boundary: “If my dad makes inappropriate comments, I will ask him to stop, then leave if necessary.” - Bad boundary: “I’m not going to let mom get away with monopolizing my time this holiday season.” Good boundary: “I will set a clear holiday schedule and stick to it, even if my mom complains, whines, or tries to manipulate me.” Remember, boundaries address the problematic ways you allow others to treat you. A good boundary constrains your behavior, thereby limiting the range of reactions the other person can have. ## It Takes Two to Quarrel Like it or not, if you have a problem with another person, you are contributing to it in some way—even if it’s only by letting him or her get away with mistreating you. This year, focus on the role you play in your family’s conflicts. You can’t change your loved ones, but you can change yourself. And here’s a nice bonus: by adjusting the way you react to your loved ones, you may make strides in other areas of your life, too, so looking at your own behavior can help you improve more than just the holiday season. ## Mastering Communication Rules When your mother tells you you need to lose weight or your sister begins babbling about her perfect life, you might be tempted to grab the turkey knife and jump halfway across the table. Impulsive reactions are rarely effective, and saying what feels good can lead to a cascade of interactions that feel distinctly bad. Instead, focus on cultivating better communication skills. The following expressions can de-escalate a rapidly escalating family meal: - “I’m sorry you feel that way. I love you, and that’s now how I intended it.” - “You might be right.” - “I disagree. I think\_\_\_\_\_\_ instead.” - “Can we please change the subject? This conversation hurts my feelings.” - “I love you, and love spending time with you, but I won’t let you insult me.” When all else fails, change the subject to one of the few topics that’s bound to get everyone interested: children, pets, funny stories, and this year’s triumphs. ## Lowering Your Expectations No one wants to go into the holiday season expecting endless family feuds or disappointing presents. Unreasonably high expectations, though, inevitably lead to disappointments. Your family is not perfect; no one’s is. So if you anticipate a fiasco-free holiday, you’re bound to be disappointed. Learn to love your family’s imperfections, since these traits are what make it unique. Go easy on yourself, too. You might not be able to have a movie-worthy holiday, but with acceptance, patience, and a sense of humor, this holiday season could be your best on record. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Five Tips for Quitting Smoking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-tips-for-quitting-smoking/) **Published:** December 9, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Though smoking rates have dropped precipitously in recent years, Australia still has an uncomfortably high smoking rate of about 12%. Tobacco products [kill more than 15,000 Aussies](http://www.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing.nsf/content/tobacco-kff) each year, leaving a trail of family, economic, and social destruction in the wake of these tragic deaths. No matter how long you have smoked, quitting now can reduce your health risks, and staying quit can steadily reverse the damage cigarettes have already done. Research shows that most people have to attempt a quit several times before it sticks, but you can rise above the statistics with these five tips. ## Create a Quitting Plan Quitting smoking isn’t something you can do on a whim. You’ll need a strategy that helps you manage cravings while getting the support you need. Some steps you can take to adopt a healthy quit plan include: - Putting your quit date on your calendar so it’s part of your regular thought process. - Telling loved ones you plan to quit, and asking for their help. If you can, tell them exactly what they can do to help. - Creating a comfortable environment filled with plenty of water, your favorite foods, and lots of entertainment for when you quit; bored people often give into smoking. - Talking to your doctor about strategies that can help you quit. ## Be Wary of Quit-Smoking Products Nicotine replacement products are big business, with everyone from governmental agencies to physicians recommending them. But it’s not smoking you’re addicted to; it’s nicotine. So the use of these products just pushes quitting further down the line, potentially making the process harder. Research shows that, in spite of the bevy of quit-smoking products now available, most successful quitters [still do it cold turkey](http://whyquit.com/pr/053110.html). If you think you might need some assistance quitting, don’t go with nicotine replacement. Instead, talk to a physician about the range of medications that can help reduce cravings and stave off depression. These drugs are safe, and won’t feed your nicotine addiction. ## Be Prepared for the Challenge Here’s a difficult truth: quitting smoking is hard. Harder than you may realize. Harder even than some doctors are willing to admit! Some people become suicidal. Others spend hours crying or raging. We say this not to dissuade you from quitting, but to prepare you for the challenge. Anything worth doing is a bit difficult, but you’ll be rewarded with a healthier life and an end to your nicotine addiction if you stick with it. By being prepared for the challenge, you’re less likely to back out. Smokers who think it will be easy, by contrast, may be so overwhelmed by the challenges of quitting that they give up. ## Give Yourself Something to Look Forward To It’s normal to dread quitting, and even to mourn cigarettes. For many smokers, cigarettes become a constant friend and companion—there when they struggle, when they triumph, when they’re bored, and when they’re lonely. If you want to successfully quit, you need to find an alternative habit, such as exercising, writing in a blog, or playing with your dog. Even more important, create something to look forward to each day. Many smokers struggle with depression when they quit smoking, but staying inside and crying all day only increases your likelihood of giving into temptation. Plan brunch with a friend, a shopping trip with your cousin, or a night out with your sibling and you’ll have a reason to get up—not to mention a reason not to dread quitting. ## Create a System of Rewards In a culture that stigmatizes smoking, it’s easy to minimize the importance of quitting. Maybe you feel ashamed of your smoking habit, causing yo to fail tor recognize the incredible achievement it is to quit. Don’t do this to yourself! Quitting for a day, a week, a month, and forever are all accomplishments, so set up a system of rewards. At the end of a day, you might buy yourself a small treat. At a week, take the money you would have spent on smoking and sink it into something fun instead. The brain responds best when it’s rewarded for making the right choice, so offering yourself a steady stream of rewards for sticking with it can help you remain quit for the long-run. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Five Reasons to Get Moving](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-reasons-to-get-moving/) **Published:** December 11, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** We live in a society full of endless distractions: the draw of the television screen, the ping of text messages, the promise that this time you’ll win your favourite video game. But these short-lived sources of entertainment and satisfaction do little for our mental health. Indeed, research suggests that our attention spans have [shrunk dramatically in the few years since smartphones became mainstream.](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11607315/Humans-have-shorter-attention-span-than-goldfish-thanks-to-smartphones.html) We often work with clients who are miserable, overwhelmed, and anxious, but who have no idea why. All too often, a sedentary lifestyle figures prominently in the recipe for unhappiness. With so many distractions, it’s hard to get up and moving, but the benefits far outweigh the small effort you have to put forth. Whether it’s walking your dog, swimming at the local pool, or finally taking up that team sport or dance class you’ve always wanted to pursue, exercise is extraordinarily good for your mental health. Here are five reasons to give it a whirl. ## Exercise Can Treat Depression Think [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) means a lifetime of [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) and antidepressants? It might for some people, but exercise is a powerful antidote to the doldrums people with depression frequently experience. Indeed, some studies suggest that exercise is the single most effective treatment for anxiety and depression. ## Exercise Makes You Smarter We have all heard the stereotype of the dumb athlete, but it turns out this notion is nothing more than a fabrication. Exercise increases blood flow to the brain, increases neuroplasticity, and could even make you smarter. One recent study, for instance, found that schoolchildren learned more quickly after exercising. Another found that driving a stationary bike for even just 10 minutes improved memory and the brain’s ability to learn. ## Exercise Helps You Make Friends Shared interests are a foundation of many friendships. If you spend all of your time watching television on the couch, it’s tough to meet people, and even tougher to have something to relate to or talk about. Exercise, though, offers a chance to meet like-minded people in a fun and low-pressure environment. If you’re single and looking, you might find your next romance at a yoga class. But even if you’re happily partnered, friendship is a key to mental health. Get out there and get moving, and you may be surprised by how much more social your life becomes. ## Exercise Boosts Self-Esteem We all know that getting the body you want can make you feel better about yourself. You don’t have to shed weight or build muscle to love yourself, though. Exercise boosts self-esteem in several important ways. First, it increases the presence of feel-good endorphins that can break you out of depression and inspire a positive outlook. Second, it shows you what your body can do, inspiring the confidence that comes with self-efficacy. And finally, of course, exercise can help you meet your fitness goals, introducing you to a brand new you. ## Exercise Gives You Something to Look Forward To In our offices, we often work with clients who feel stuck, bored, and deeply hopeless. They worry they have done everything interesting they can, or that the joy of life is far behind them. Having something to look forward to—and ideally, something that challenges you at least a little—is a key ingredient in the secret recipe for happiness. Sure, getting active can be tough at first. But once you find something you love doing, physical activity gives you something to look forward to. If you’re suffering from a bit of existential ennui, there could be no better antidote than getting up off of the couch and moving your body! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [What is a Behavioural Addiction and Could You Have One?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-a-behavioural-addiction-and-could-you-have-one/) **Published:** December 14, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Think the fact that you don’t use drugs means you can’t possibly be an addict? Think again. behavioural addictions (sometimes called process addictions) are addictions to specific, highly rewarding behaviours, such as sex, gambling, shopping, and exercise. They are rising steadily, due in part to the fact that few people are aware of their existence, and even fewer understand how destructive these painful addictions can be. Indeed, research suggests that [as many as 9% of](http://www.shopaholicsanonymous.org/facts.htm) the population could be addicted to spending alone, with similar rates for gambling and sex addiction. At Three Seas, we can help you get your life back under control, but it’s up to you to take the first step. Here is what you need to know about behavioural addictions. ## What is a Behavioural Addiction? Behavioural addictions occur whenever you become addicted to a highly rewarding behaviour. Some of the most common behavioural addictions include: - Shopping addiction - Sex addiction - Gambling addiction - Exercise addiction - Eating disorders Many people with behavioural addictions spend months or even years in denial. After all, they tell themselves, if I’m not taking drugs, it must not be a problem, right? But behavioural addictions affect the brain in ways quite similar to drugs. They activate dopamine, a powerful reward-based neurotransmitter, that has the power to induce a seductive high. And just like bad habits such as nail-biting, many people with behavioural addictions quickly lose control. ## Signs and Symptoms of Behavioural Addictions Many addictive behaviours are also normal parts of everyday life, making it tough to discern when your behaviour has crossed the threshold from normal to addictive. Recognizing that any pleasurable activity can become addictive is half of the battle, but denial is still a powerful force. Some signs you might have a behavioural addiction include: - Indulging in a behaviour to such an extent that it interferes with the rest of your life; for example, shopping so much you end up in debt. - Using a specific behaviour to get relief from psychological distress. - Friends and family suggesting that you may have a behavioural addiction. - Being unable to curb a specific behaviour, even if you try. - Indulging in a behaviour significantly more than seems normal; for example, feeling like you “need” sex, or have sex infinitely more frequently than others. Be careful about using others as your rubric, though, since there is a range of normal behaviour. ## How Behavioural Addictions Affect Your Life You can’t overdose on a behaviour in the same way you can overdose on a drug, but behavioural addictions are every bit as dangerous. Some of the catastrophic consequences you can face as a result of your behavioural addiction include: - Serious financial distress. - Going into debt. - Interacting with dangerous people, such as gambling “bookies”. - Loss of important relationships. - Loss of your job. - [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, and loss of self-esteem. - Difficulty concentrating on anything but the addictive behaviour. ## Treatment for Behavioural Addictions Being unable to stop a behaviour that interferes with your ability to lead a happy, healthy life is the hallmark of a behavioural addiction. The good news is that you do not have to allow addictive behaviours to control your life. [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is remarkably effective at combating behavioural addictions. In therapy you will learn: - How to indulge in safe, healthy ways, such as by shopping only for what you need. - Alternative methods to fill emotional needs, such as talking to loved ones or taking up a new hobby. - How to resist temptation. - The individual factors, such as a history of abuse or exclusion, that predispose you to addiction. We understand that seeking help for a behavioural addiction is not always easy. When you’re ready, we’re here with our team of counsellors, [therapists and psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Addictions, Blog, General Health --- ### [Signs You Might Need Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-you-might-need-therapy/) **Published:** January 12, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Therapy is like medicine for your mind, serving a similar purpose to vitamin supplements and medication for chronic conditions. Sadly, because emotional pain is not nearly as visible as physical pain, therapy continues to be stigmatized, and the people who make the brave choice to pursue therapy often feel ashamed of their decision. Therapy isn’t for people who are “crazy” or “dysfunctional.” While it’s true that therapy can help with serious psychological problems, it can also help with the more mundane issues of achieving your dreams, having a better relationship, and coping with boredom and malaise. If you’re unsure whether therapy is right for you, ask yourself these questions. If you answer “yes” to more than three, then therapy could help you get things back on track: - Do you feel frustrated more frequently than you feel happy in your relationship? See [Couple counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) - Are you plagued by self-doubt? - Are you unsure how to achieve your goals? - Are you struggling to lose weight or get healthy? - Do you do things you don’t understand and want to stop, such as binge eating or shopping to excess? - Are you dependent on drugs or alcohol? - Are you overwhelmed by anger with your family?See[ Anger management](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) - Have you suffered a recent trauma, such as a sexual assault or job loss? See [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) - Are you plagued by thoughts of a past trauma, such as a rape or history of abuse? - Do you feel lonely or isolated? - Are you jealous of other people’s lives? - Are you plagued by creative blocks or procrastination? - Are you struggling to make an important decision? - Have you recently lost a loved one or relationship?See [grief and loss counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) - Do you often feel angry, sad, or overwhelmed? - Do you struggle with [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) or anxiety? Consider [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) - Do you harm yourself to cope with stress? - Have you thought about ending your life? - Do you suffer from chronic pain? - Are you facing a terminal or chronic illness? - Are you struggling with infertility or the loss of a child? - Do you feel misunderstood or ignored? - Do you feel like you have no one to talk to? - Are you struggling to break a bad habit? - Do you worry about whether you’ll ever be able to live the life you want? - Do you often feel hopeless? If you are not sure where to go from here and are struggling, let us help. Three Seas Counselling offers therapy in a warm and welcoming environment that protects your privacy, respects your dignity, and pays heed to your values. We know that life can be challenging, but we aim to help you tackle the challenges of your existence so that life feels manageable again. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [depression treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), [insomnia treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How therapy or psychology can work with you to lose weight](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/trying-to-lose-weight-this-year-five-ways-to-stick-to-your-goals/) **Published:** January 14, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Trying to Lose Weight This Year? FHow therapy or psychology can work with you to lose weight. Carrying excess body weight has catastrophic effects on your physical and mental health and can steadily erode your self-esteem. It’s unsurprising, then, that so many Australians resolve to lose weight as part of their New Year’s resolutions. New Year’s resolutions are common—so common, in fact, that [80% of people don’t stick to their resolutions](https://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2015-12-29/why-80-percent-of-new-years-resolutions-fail). [Sixty-three percent of Australian adults](http://www.aihw.gov.au/overweight-and-obesity/) are overweight or obese, and those figures continue to rise. Weight loss is never easy, especially given that health and hormonal issues often play a role in weight issues. If you want to stick to your guns this year, here are five keys to losing weight and keeping it off. ## Change Your Thoughts First Most people think that losing weight is about changing your exercise routine or what you eat. But the truth is that people don’t pack on the pounds for no reason. Underlying almost every weight issue is a disordered relationship with food. Some people are addicted to specific foods, such as sugar. Others use food as a source of comfort, or to fill an emotional void. And some rely on food to cope with the boredom of a stagnant life. Before you can expect to lose weight, you must change your relationship with food. Spend some time thinking about why you make the food choices you do. To persist with something that has health consequences as catastrophic as overeating does, you must be getting some kind of reward. Once you figure out what that is, you’ll be better suited to begin shedding weight. [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can prove invaluable in this process, so if you’re not sure what the problem is, or have tried and failed to fix it, consider coming into Three Seas for a session. ## Set Clear, Reasonable Goals If you resolve simply to “lose weight,” you’ve already failed. To keep a resolution, you first have to know what it is! Equally important is knowing how long it will take to achieve it, so that you’re not disappointed when the results are not immediate. Most people can lose about a pound per week, but may lose a bit more when they first start, due to loss of water weight. Talk to a doctor about what you can realistically expect, then set specific and clear goals so that you can begin tracking your progress. ## Get Support Let’s face it: losing weight is tough. It’s not something you can do overnight, and the pressure to overeat and abandon your workout plan is everywhere. The support of people you trust can work wonders. Consider recruiting a friend to be your accountability partner or join a local weight-loss group. Your therapist, too, can be an invaluable ally in the battle of the bulge. Better yet, reach out to a therapist or psychologist to explore possible underlying issues as to why shifting the weight might be a challenge. Your psychologist can work closely with your GP to approach weight loss in a holistic manner. ## Find Your Motivation Amorphous promises to get healthy or be more attractive won’t do much to inspire you when the going gets tough. You need to sit down and seriously think about why you want to lose weight. Do you want to live longer? Get pregnant? Be there at your child’s graduation? Take up a sport you abandoned long ago? Write each reason on a card, then review your motivators when you get overwhelmed. Keeping your eye on your ultimate goal helps you ignore that delicious plate of food your lunch companion is gorging himself on. ## Reward Yourself Sure, the ultimate reward is a better health and a body you adore, but that’s months—and perhaps even years—down the road. You need smaller rewards to keep you going. Try setting up a weekly commitment to yourself, such as a massage or outing with friends. Then, when you hit major milestones, reward yourself with something more significant. Whatever you do, though, steer clear of food-based rewards, since those only undermine your progress and nurture a dysfunctional relationship to food. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [depression treatment services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), [insomnia treatment services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Eating Disorders, General Health --- ### [5 Home Remedies for Insomnia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-home-remedies-for-insomnia/) **Published:** January 18, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Insomnia has the power to quickly turn a happy life into one clouded by exhaustion and misery. Insomnia interferes with your judgement, and can wreck your work or school performance. And sadly, it’s common. Today many Australians struggle to fall or stay asleep. While the problem can feel intractable and overwhelming, the good news is that you can often treat it on your own. Explore 5 home remedies for insomnia from our psychologists. ## Get Into a Routine In our fast-paced, high-speed world, few people maintain regular schedules. You might get up before the sun during the week, only to crash and sleep half of the day during the weekends. This can wreak utter havoc on your sleep patterns. It’s not easy to get up early, particularly when you’re already exhausted, but the payoff over time is massive. Commit to going to bed at the same time each night and getting up at the same time each morning, regardless of your schedule and exhaustion. Over time, your body will catch up to your newfound commitment to good sleep. ## Look at Your Diet Caffeine is a major culprit in insomnia, so cut out caffeine—including chocolate, soda, and other unlikely sources—at least six hours before bed. Very spicy foods can also keep you up, especially if they cause stomach discomfort. And for some, it’s hunger that keeps them awake at night, so consider doing a nightly protein shake to ensure you have a healthy, balanced source of nutrition before you drift into slumber. ## Practice Healthy Sleep Hygiene “Sleep hygiene” refers to the habits that help you sleep more effectively. It’s easy to cultivate better habits by following these tips: - Use your bed only for sleep or sex; otherwise, your body begins to associate being in bed with being active. - If you can’t fall asleep after 15 minutes or so, get up. Otherwise you will get used to tossing and turning, increasing the likelihood of continuing to do it. - Sleep in a dark, cool room. Your body temperature has to slightly drop for you to fall asleep, so a slightly cooler room can help. - Invest in a good mattress, sheets that feel comfortable, and a pillow you love. - Don’t sleep next to your phone. Instead, use an alarm clock. People awaken more when they sleep next to a phone, and checking your phone throughout the night can be psychologically harmful. ## Try Herbal Supplements The literature on herbal supplements is mixed, but many people have good luck with them. As long as you purchase your supplements from a mainstream source and get your doctor’s go-ahead, you should be safe. Some to try include: - Melatonin - Valerian root - Chamomile, especially in tea - Kava ## Meditate For many insomnia sufferers, it’s not high energy, but the stress of everyday life, that keeps them awake. If you can’t seem to slow your thoughts and quiet your mind, consider meditating for 10 minutes each day, and an additional 10 minutes as you try to sleep. Meditation [improves physical and mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/improve-your-mental-health-with-exercise/), and helps you practice the fine art of quieting your thoughts. Don’t expect it to work right away; meditation is challenging, and even frustrating, at first, but with persistence you may just find yourself finally getting a night of relaxing and undisturbed rest. When home treatments fail, consider [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) first. Though sleep medications may work in the short-term, they tend to lose efficacy over time and can become addictive. The skills you learn in therapy, by contrast, help you learn to [manage your anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/managing-anxiety-study-suggests-trauma-more-prevalent-than-you-might-think/) for the rest of your life. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [depression treatment services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), [insomnia treatment services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Individual --- ### [Five Tips for Keeping Your New Year's Resolutions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-tips-for-keeping-your-new-years-resolutions/) **Published:** January 19, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Five Tips for Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions Are you spending this week contemplating what you want to do differently in 2016? If so, you’re not alone. Though most people make at least one resolution, [a measly eight percent manage to bring these resolutions to fruition.](http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/) Life is a march toward betterment, and one of the primary goals of [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is helping you achieve your dreams. If you’ve long struggled to remain committed to a specific resolution, therapy could help you finally make progress. But first, consider trying these key resolution-saving steps. ## Set Specific Goals Most people set goals that are so amorphous you won’t even know when you’ve achieved them! “Lose weight,” “Be nicer,” and “Make more friends” all sound good in theory, but can mean vastly different things at different times. Make your goal clear and specific. Don’t resolve to lose weight; commit to losing 10 pounds. Don’t commit to being a better parent. Promise yourself you’ll spend an hour of quality time with your children each evening. ## Break Your Goals Into Manageable Steps Resolutions are supposed to be hard. Otherwise they wouldn’t be worth achieving! When life gets stressful or you experience self-doubt, you can expect that your resolutions will be the first item on the chopping block. Prevent this by breaking your goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. This way you don’t feel overwhelmed by the prospect of losing weight or making more friends. Instead, you have only to reach a small, specific goal. Fail to achieve it, and all is not lost; you can just try again next week. The ideal resolution can be broken down into monthly, weekly, and daily steps. For instance, if you wish to lose weight, you might commit to giving up processed foods this month and potato chips this week. On a daily basis, you might aim to replace one food item with something healthier. ## Don’t Aim Too High Most of us have been told to follow our dreams and aim high for our entire lives. When it comes to resolution-making, though, this is distinctly poor advice. Your goals should be realistic. After all, when you achieve a realistic resolution, you can always go back and add something more challenging. But goals that are unlikely to be achieved—such as losing 150 pounds in a year or publishing a novel despite no experience as a writer—can set you up for failure, which can sap your motivation. ## Track Your Progress You won’t know you’re making progress if you don’t track your steps toward your goals. Keep a log of the actions you take each week or month to achieve your goals, and watch your successes slowly accumulate. This log can serve as motivation when you get overwhelmed, and will also hold you accountable if you get sidetracked on your march toward the best year yet. ## Get Support Human beings are social animals who are more likely to thrive when they feel a supportive sense of community. This is why support groups are so effective at helping people lose weight, quit drinking, and achieve other challenging goals. Support group isn’t your thing? Then recruit a friend or loved one to work toward a resolution together. Alternatively, consider an online support group, which offers complete privacy, but constant access to support. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [20 Topics to Discuss With Your Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/20-topics-to-discuss-with-your-children/) **Published:** January 22, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** It is the perennial frustration of every parent: queries about what your child did at school are met with eye rolls and a perfunctory “Nothing.” As children grow older and stop worshiping their parents, maintaining your relationship can become a challenge. But relationships cut both ways. If you can’t seem to connect with your child, don’t blame it all on him or her. Instead, consider whether you really want to connect. Can you listen to your child without judging him or her? Are you willing to accept criticism? Here are 20 topics to discuss with your children to get you started. If you’re ready to reconnect, try asking these 20 questions. Just be prepared to respond with love and warmth even if you don’t like the answer. Communication means opening yourself up to vulnerability. Once your child sees that you’re willing to do that, and that you’re willing to listen, the floodgates may soon open even further. ### **Exploring Family Perspectives** - What’s the thing you like the most about our family? The least? - What’s something I think about you that is no longer true? - What values do you think we share? Do you think there are areas where we disagree? - What things about our childhoods are similar? Which are different? ### **Parent-Child Relationship** - If you could change one thing about the way I [parent](https://thethreeseas.com.au/preventing-anxiety-and-phobias-in-children-5-things-parents-can-do/) you, what would it be? - Do you ever feel like I am unfair to you? - Have you ever been afraid to tell me something? What was it, and why? - Do you ever feel like I expect you to behave in certain ways to earn my love? ## **School and Social Relationships** ### **Navigating School Life** - What is most important for fitting in at your school? - Do you think being a kid today is harder or easier than it was 20, 40, and 60 years ago? ### **Understanding Friendship** - What do you think the most important traits are in a friend? What traits make someone unworthy of friendship? - Have you ever changed your mind about a person after getting to know them? - Who is the meanest kid at your school? The nicest? ## **Personal Growth and Life Perspective** ### **Reflecting on Self and [Family](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/)** - If you could be doing anything in the world right now, what would it be? - What don’t you understand about me or your other parent? - If you could help me understand one thing about who you are, what would it be, and why? - If you could ask me anything and get an honest answer, what would it be? ### **Exploring Beliefs and Lessons** - What’s the most important life lesson you’ve learned so far? - What do you think of religion and spirituality? Have your beliefs changed over the years? ### **Future Aspirations** - Do you want to have kids of your own? - What will you do differently from me, and what will you do the same? Remember, kids may be reticent to talk at first, especially if you have a conflicted relationship. But with enough dedication and a willingness to truly listen, you may soon find yourselves engaged in deep, meaningful, and incredibly satisfying discussions. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [post traumatic stress disorder therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/), [cbt services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, family counselling, parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Want Your Best Valentine's Day Ever? Try These Tips](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/want-your-best-valentines-day-ever-try-these-tips/) **Published:** January 25, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Relationships are funny things. They are, by definition, about the other person. But all too often, we use our own experiences to judge the other, determine what is best for him or her, and make decisions about the relationship. Empathy is the ability to see things from another person’s perspective, and is a vital skill for ensuring your relationship lives a long and happy life. As the preparations for Valentine’s Day begin, now is a great time to take stock of your relationship and cultivate more empathy. Here are five incredibly easy ways to do so, ensuring your best Valentine’s Day yet. ## Listen You’ve heard it a thousand times: listen more, talk less. But sometimes the simplest advice is also the most profound. Especially in long-term relationships, it’s easy to fixate on what your partner is saying wrong, what you’re going to say next, or how you’ll get what you want from your partner. Listening for listening’s sake, though, is an easy way to cultivate deeper intimacy and actually, finally, understand what your partner needs you to know and hear. Commit to listening to whatever your partner has to say for a week, and you may find your whole life changing. ## Look for Unmet Needs Everyone has unmet needs, and you probably spend a lot of time focusing on your own. Maybe your partner nags you too much, doesn’t listen enough, or doesn’t buy you gifts you like. But if you have unmet needs, that means he or she does, too. Focus on figuring out what they are. Is there anything your spouse complains about a lot or asks you for? Anything that seems to chronically frustrate him or her? By meeting his or her unmet needs, you show a keen attention to detail and a willingness to continue evolving as a couple. ## Ask for Guidance It’s the most obvious thing in the world: if you don’t know what your spouse needs, simply ask. Too often, we’re afraid we won’t like the answer, or worried that asking means we aren’t knowledgeable about our loved one. But asking for guidance is a deep act of love that displays your commitment to giving your loved one what he or she needs—even when you aren’t able to independently do so. You may be surprised by how easy it is to meet your loved one’s needs, if only you seek to find out what they are. ## Practice Gentle Communication When you’re angry or frustrated, letting loose on your loved one can feel great—that is, of course, until you see the crushed look on their face and have to spend the next five hours fixing what you’ve broken. You don’t need to say everything you think, particularly if it’s negative. Commit to a week of gentle communication. Before you say anything to your spouse, ask whether it serves the relationship. If not, keep it to yourself. Sure, truthfulness is good, but love is even better. ## Don’t Bash Romance Especially if you’ve been in a long-term relationship for a long time, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the pressure of Valentine’s day, anniversaries, and other important holidays. It’s tempting to deride these holidays, minimize the value of romance, and even decide not to celebrate at all. When you do this, you tell your significant other that your relationship is no longer worth celebrating or commemorating. Romance should never die, whether you’ve been together for one month or 30 years. Commit to doing something special every now and again, and sit back and watch your relationship flourish. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [post traumatic stress disorder therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/), [cbt services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families --- ### [Five Reasons Not to Yell at Your Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-reasons-not-to-yell-at-your-children/) **Published:** January 28, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** If you think the kids of today are more distracted, disrespectful, and poorly behaved than the children of previous generations, you are certainly not alone. Ample evidence suggests that busy schedules, the draw of computer, television, and smartphone screens, and constant pressure have produced kids who parents increasingly struggle to control. The natural inclination is to lay down the law, become increasingly strict, and punish your children for every infraction. [But research suggests](http://www.thenational.ae/lifestyle/family/what-effect-does-yelling-have-on-your-child) this authoritarian parenting style is precisely the wrong approach to take. Children need clear rules and enforced boundaries, as well as lot of love and attention. What they don’t need is constant yelling and punishment. Here are five reasons to give up the yelling. ## It Causes You to Lose Authority Think about the last time you really yelled at your child. Chances are good you didn’t feel like a strong parent, but more like someone who had lost control and felt overwhelmed. Parents yell not to enforce rules, but because they have lost control of their own emotions. Yelling, then, produces inconsistency in your parenting, making you look weaker in front of your children. Children know that parents yell when they lose control, and they often use that lack of control to their advantage. ## It Destroys Your Relationship How do you feel when someone yells at you? Probably not very good. Yelling does not build up your relationship, and a loving, trusting, respectful relationship is key for getting your children to obey. Children who are frequently yelled at may become fearful and even develop problems such as [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/). In some cases, they even begin hiding things from their parents in an attempt to avoid more yelling and more bad feelings. ## It Harms Your Child Study after study has demonstrated that yelling hurts kids. Yelling activates the anxious parts of their brain, setting off a cascade of effects. In the immediate term, yelling inhibits your child’s ability to listen. Over time, though, yelling can destroy trust, erode your child’s attachment to you, and even cause her to believe that mistreatment is normal. Studies show, for example, that children whose parents often yell at them are more likely to have dysfunctional—and even abusive—romantic relationships. ## It Silences Communication It’s not easy to talk to someone who yells at you. And some children stop talking when their parents start yelling. Most Australian parents are desperate to elicit more honesty and information from their children, but yelling conveys a clear message to your child: you don’t care about his or her feelings, and you don’t care what he or she has to say. Rather than losing it and yelling, wait until you are calmer and talk to your child about the issue. Just make sure you’re prepared to listen to his side of things, since listening enables you both to learn. Better still, by modeling listening to your child, you encourage him to listen more closely to you next time. ## It Stresses You Out Simply put, yelling is stressful, and stressful parents are neither happy nor effective. Over time, yelling can become a bad habit that you resort to every time the going gets rough, leading to an endless cascade of stress. Children of stressed parents are more likely to misbehave, less likely to excel in school, and significantly more likely to report mental health issues. Remember, it’s not just your well-being at stake here, but also your child’s! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents --- ### [Twenty Ways Therapy or Psychology Can Improve Your Life](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/twenty-ways-therapy-or-psychology-can-improve-your-life/) **Published:** January 29, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ### Twenty Ways Therapy or Psychology Can Improve Your Life Read on to discover twenty ways therapy (therapist) or psychology (psychologist) can improve your life. Think you already know everything about therapy, or that therapy is about little more than endlessly dissecting feelings and navigating fights with loved ones? Well, think again. Therapy is like life skills coaching, mental health care, and goal planning all rolled into one. You don’t have to be mentally ill or in crisis to benefit from counselling. Here are twenty surprising ways therapy—or, as it is often called, counselling– can improve your life: #### Here are a number of ways therapy can help you: - Therapy can help you clarify your values and set goals that comport with those values. From there, your therapist can help you find the best options for reaching those goals. - Therapy can help you explore how your feelings change your behavior. - [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can help you better understand the ways you contribute to the problems in your life. - [Relationship Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) can aid you in seeing your role in the problems in your relationships. - Counselling can offer you reassurance that you are not alone. - Therapy can offer you unconditional positive regard. Whether you feel alone and isolated or have been subjected to a lifetime of abuse. #### Plus: - Therapy can help you resolve spiritual conflicts. - Therapy can help you unlock your creativity. - Counselling can help you deal with chronic stress, childhood trauma, and the ups and downs of daily life. - Counselling can help you understand why you do the things you do. - Therapy can help you become a better parent, employee, and even pet owner. - Counselling can help you manage seemingly unmanageable emotions, including anger, grief, fear, and phobias. - Therapy can improve your health by aiding you to make better choices and boosting mental health. After all your mental and physical health are, after all, inextricably linked. - Counselling can help you solve problems that you can’t seem to solve on your own, including struggling to lose weight or managing financial concerns. - Therapy offers you the opinion of an unbiased outsider, who will be honest with you about your choices without being unkind. - Counselling offers you access to new resources for improving your life, as well as advice about strategies that might work for your specific set of challenges. - Therapy can help you get “unstuck” when life feels unmanageable. - Counselling can help you improve your communication skills and eliminate fear of being honest. - Therapy can help you learn to love yourself by aiding you to move past guilt and shame. - Counselling can change any and everything about your life. To change your life, you must change your behaviour. And to change your behaviour, you must change your emotions. At Three Seas, we help you do precisely that. #### Decided that you now migh want to explore therapy further? Contact our expertly trained [client connect team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) who will be able to match you with the most appropriate therapist or psychologist, especially a psychologist near you. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Five New Rules for Parenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-new-rules-for-parenting/) **Published:** February 4, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** We hear it in almost every [family counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) session we do at Three Seas: the parents of today just can’t seem to control their children. Many respond by enacting authoritarian, restrictive measures, or even by spanking their children. The truth is that the reason children are so often out of control is not because they are not punished enough. It is because they are overstimulated, don’t get enough one-on-one time with their parents, and are not taught the skills they need to entertain themselves. A few simple parenting guidelines can change all of this. Forget about outdated discipline and controlling your child. We love Brene Brown’s [Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto](https://brenebrown.com/resources/the-wholehearted-parenting-manifesto/) as a starting point. We’ve also popped ‘five new rules’ for parenting below. ## Don’t Provide Constant Entertainment A generation or two ago, it was common for parents to check in on their kids every hour or two, but to largely leave them alone. Now, kids are endlessly scheduled, and parents’ lives revolve around their children. This is bad for both. It means mom and dad never get a break, never get to enjoy quality time alone, and see time with their children as a task or chore—not something meaningful and enjoyable. Children whose parents are constantly entertaining them lose independence, creativity, and the ability to entertain themselves; they may also never master the basics of keeping themselves safe and quiet when left unsupervised. Give children an environment in which they can thrive. Offer lots of art supplies, books, dress-up gear, and toys, but do not over-schedule your child! Do not provide him or her with constant entertainment. Consider even scheduling a family quiet hour, during which everyone entertains themselves. At first, you might have to repeatedly remind your child that it is quite time. Over time, though, your child will begin to master entertaining herself. ## Focus on Earning Rewards, Not Punishment Study after study has demonstrated something that few parents want to acknowledge: punishment simply does not work. Sure, it feels good. Sure, it might get your child to change his or her behavior, but only for a moment. Here’s why: children under the age of four or five have no concept of morality and little empathy, so punishment to them just feels like a parent being randomly mean. Children over the age of five have the ability to reason and negotiate. Punishing them, then, misses an opportunity to talk, teach, and improve their behavior for the future. If you need to change your child’s behavior, focus on creating rewards instead. Some options include: - Offering your child money for every chore completed. - Creating a “sticker chart.” Every time your child does something you ask, he gets a sticker. When the chart is complete, he gets a special reward. - Asking your child to earn things such as computer time and sweets with coupons she gets for good behavior. - Not buying your child things, taking him or her on outings, or offering other “bonuses” until your child has earned them. ## [Control the Environment, Not the Child](https://brenebrown.com/podcast/glennon-doyle-brene-on-untamed/) Try as you might, you cannot control your child’s thoughts, feelings, or even behavior—particularly when she gets too big to carry. All you can do is create an environment in which your child is likely to succeed. If you know your child throws tantrums when she’s bored, don’t take her on a big outing without some entertainment. If your child responds poorly to change, keep change gradual, rewarding her for reacting calmly so she can steadily learn to do better. Controlling other people is a losing battle, even when those people are your children. ## Children Will Do What is Available We often see parents who are stunned by how much time their children spend in front of the television, or how much junk food they consume. But you are the parent! Parents control their children’s environments, and therefore control what is available. If you do not want your child to eat junk food, the solution is very simple: don’t buy junk food. By only making available activities, toys, and food that are good for your child, you make it easy—and rewarding!–for him to make good choices from the very beginning. ## Limit Your Own Screen Time More and more parents are concerned about the effects of computers, smartphones, and endless television time on their children. And while it is important to prevent your child from spending every waking second of every day on these devices, it might surprise you to learn that it is even more important to control your own behavior. Children learn by example, so if your child sees endless screen time as a “grown-up” activity, she is infinitely more likely to want to imitate it. Likewise, the research consistently shows that it is parents, not children, who spend the most time on screens. Heartbreaking stories of parents ignoring first steps, bath time, and family mealtime put into painful perspective the cost of ignoring your child for a screen. If you’re interacting with your child, your phone does not need to be visible, let alone in your hands. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Parenting **Tags:** couples counselling, family counselling, parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Understanding Anxiety: What's Normal, and When to Seek Help](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-anxiety-whats-normal-and-when-to-seek-help/) **Published:** February 26, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health issues Australians face. Though anxiety can cripple your ability to manage your life and make even mundane daily events feel impossible to handle, anxiety is also among the most treatable mental health conditions. In many cases, it can even be treated without medication! If you find yourself waking up with anxiety every day, or so overwhelmed with nervousness that you can’t sleep, please know that you do not have to live this way. Three Seas can help. ## Anxiety: What’s Normal, What’s Not? We live in an increasingly complicated and stressful world. Normal anxiety includes: - Brief periods of anxiousness—two weeks or less—surrounding stressful events such as job transitions or money problems. - Anxiety before a performance, big meeting, or job interview. - Occasional anxiety related to diet, lifestyle, or other choices; for instance, you might feel jittery after drinking a cup of coffee. Some signs that your anxiety is unhealthy, and may indicate an anxiety disorder include: - Constant anxiety, even when you’re unsure of what you are actually anxious about. - Difficulty concentrating. - Anxiety that causes muscle pain, gastrointestinal problems, or sleeping difficulties. - Being unable to do things because they are so intimidating. - Feeling like you have no ability to control your anxiety. ## When Can Counselling Help? If you are bothered by your anxiety, there is good news: [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can help whether you struggle with daily stress or chronic anxiety. If your anxiety has a source, or if you’re simply overwhelmed with stress, your therapist can aid you to set reasonable goals and uncover lifestyle strategies that can help you recover. If you have generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, a phobia, or another form of unhealthy anxiety, your [therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help you better understand the issue while offering a range of treatment options. ## What Other Strategies Are Effective? Chronic anxiety is unlikely to go away on its own, so if you feel plagued by this unpleasant emotion, you need and deserve professional help. Nevertheless, a number of lifestyle strategies can help you reel in your anxiety, expediting the recovery process and supplementing the work you do in therapy. As part of therapy, or as you wait for a counseling appointment, try some of the following: - Limit caffeine and alcohol consumption. - Commit to at least eight hours of sleep each night, and go to bed at the same time each evening. - Find something to do each day that brings you pleasure, even if it feels silly or meaningless. - Reach out to friends and family for help. - Join a support group for people with anxiety. - Get plenty of exercise, which studies show may be as effective at reducing anxiety as medication. - Plan each day and avoid procrastination, since poor time management can lead to chronic anxiety. - Ask your partner for help managing household and childcare duties; these roles should be evenly split, rather than just falling to one partner. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Individual --- ### [Tips for Disclosing Your Mental Illness to Loved Ones](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tips-for-disclosing-your-mental-illness-to-loved-ones/) **Published:** March 10, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Sadly, mental health stigma is alive and well. Many people continue to believe that mental illness can be cured through willpower, conscious effort, or even prayer. But mental illnesses are every bit as serious and demanding of treatment as physical ailments. If you’re struggling to share your mental illness with someone you love, rest assured that there is nothing to be ashamed of. A little preparation and knowledge can go a long way. Our expert psychologists provide some tips for disclosing your mental illness to loved ones. ## Know That You Don’t Have to Disclose your Mental Status You are under no obligation to tell anyone about your mental illness. In fact, you don’t have to share that you’re sick at all, let alone that your troubles are psychological in nature. There’s no shame in lying to protect your privacy, particularly from the prying minds of co-workers and intrusive family members. You do not have to explain yourself or your behaviour to anyone. ## Choose What Part of your Mental Health you want to Share Even when you choose to disclose, it’s up to you to determine what you will and will not share. After all, a person who has diabetes is under no obligation to share his or her insulin schedule, so it similarly makes no sense that a person with depression would have to field questions about his or her use of medication or specific symptoms. If you’re ready to share your mental illness, but not to fully give up your privacy, it can be helpful to practice in advance what you want to say. Sometimes people can be quite intrusive, and preparing for this intrusiveness helps you become a more effective and zealous advocate for yourself. ## Be Prepared With Some Literature on Mental Illness/ Mental Health Even if you’re grown accustomed to discussing your mental health with your therapist, counsellor, psychologist or other professionals, you might be surprised by how emotional you feel discussing it with someone you love for the first time. This is especially true if the loved one is not completely supportive. For this reason, it can be incredibly helpful to have some literature ready. This way, you don’t have to field intrusive questions about your mental health status but can still educate your loved one about what life with mental illness means. The Centre for Clinical Interventions has some great [articles](https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself) on a variety of mental health issues. ## Share What You Need Even if the person with whom you’re sharing has no experience with mental illness or an imperfect reaction to your disclosure, odds are very good that he or she will want to help—particularly when the shock of your initial disclosure wears off. Of course, if the other person doesn’t have a particularly astute understanding of mental health, his or her attempts at helping might fall flat—and even undermine your mental health. Consider preparing with a list of ways your loved one might help. These could include: - Assistance with household tasks or child care as you work toward recovery. - Help finding a therapist or other treatment program. - Assistance sharing your mental health issues with other loved ones. - Help rebuilding your sense of self-worth. - Support for understanding that mental illness is not your fault. At The Three Seas, we provide a range of counseling services including [cognitive behaviour therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), [anger management classes](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/), [clinical psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) and more! Browse our services today or [contact us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, couples counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [How to Encourage a Loved One to Seek Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-encourage-a-loved-one-to-seek-therapy/) **Published:** March 11, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** How to Encourage a Loved One to Seek Therapy? Watching a loved one suffer with [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, PTSD, and other mental illnesses is a unique kind of misery. Often, people who need help the most are the least willing to seek it. They may be concerned about judgement, about finances, or convinced that the problem is a “bad life,” not mental illness. Indeed, this latter insistence—that life is terrible and nothing will help—is a hallmark of psychological problems. You cannot force someone to get help if he or she is not ready, but you can provide a supportive environment and a firm nudge toward treatment. ## Why People Refuse Help Understanding the motivations for your loved one’s refusal to seek help is key to moving him or her out of that place. Some of the most common reasons people refuse to seek help include: - Impaired judgement. Addiction and mental illness lie to people, instructing them that the problem is a bad life or impossible stress, not flawed thoughts and unhealthy patterns. - Embarrassment and shame. Mental health stigma is very real. Some people continue to treat the mentally ill as if their disease is a choice. A few even insist that medication is a sign of weakness, or that it’s possible to pray away mental illness. - Concerns about cost. Many people worry that mental health care will be expensive. - Fear that it won’t work. Sometimes trying something and experiencing failure feels worse than doing nothing at all. Some people with mental illness feel so hopeless that they would rather do nothing. - Concerns about privacy, or that other people will find out about therapy. - Mistaken beliefs about mental illness, such as that it’s a person’s fault, or that mental illness can be cured without treatment. - Emotional paralysis. Some people are so overwhelmed that they simply don’t know where or how to begin the search for help. - Stress and exhaustion. People who are already overwhelmed are often reticent to give up even more time to go to therapy, particularly if they are unconvinced that [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) will be effective. ## Talking About Mental Illness When you broach the subject of mental health with your loved one, the key is to come from a place of compassion and respect—not judgement and control. Try the following: - Talk about what you’ve noticed in your loved one, such as increased sadness. Do not talk about how his or her health affects you! Your loved one should feel that you are concerned about him or her, not selfishly advocating for your own needs. - Don’t be pushy or judgemental. - Don’t blame your loved one for the symptoms. - Research the symptoms first. Your loved one might not know much about mental illness, so being armed with information can prepare you for the discussion. ## Offering Practical Support Ultimately, you cannot and should not try to force another person into therapy. Doing so only robs the person of his or her agency, and that can actually undermine mental health. What you can do is make it easier to pursue therapy by: - Offering to help with financial support, if you are close to the person and in a position to offer such support. - Offering to drive your loved one to and from therapy appointments. - Offering to help your loved one get out of the house on a weekly basis. - Asking what else you can do to help; this may present you with options for helping that you never even realised existed. At The Three Seas, we provide a range of counseling services including [cognitive behaviour therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), [anger management classes](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual **Tags:** couples counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling --- ### [Couples Counselling: Inside Celebrity Marriages](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/couples-counselling-inside-celebrity-marriages/) **Published:** April 4, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Couples Counselling: Inside Celebrity Marriages Something about celebrity marriages can send even the calmest minds into a tizzy. Perhaps it’s the glamour and mystery. Maybe it’s the desire to aspire to greater success and more beauty. Whatever the case, a quick perusal of the gossip columns and magazine aisles reveals that we can’t get enough. Read on as we unpack couples counselling: inside celebrity marriages. We crave information about Blue Ivy’s famous parents, Beyonce and Jay-Z. We wonder whether Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are really as happy as they seem. We’re desperate to know how Amal Almamuddin convinced perennial bachelor George Clooney to settle down. And when things implode—as they do with so many celebrity couples—we’ll accept “information” from even the least credible sources just to get a tasty morsel of information. Celebrity marriages, of course, are not always what they seem, and on one—not even a counsellor—is equipped to dissect them from the outside. ### Life in the Spotlight: Life Isn’t Always What it Seems Celebrities make a living on creating an illusion. Whether they’re actors, directors, talk show hosts, or famous authors, much of a celebrity’s value rests upon his or her ability to cultivate a very specific persona. Once that celebrity enters a relationship, the couple may also have a persona. Witness the very public, over-the-top persona of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Afleck a decade ago. The relationship crumbled, but no one else knew it was in trouble. And when Brad Pitt began dating Angelina Jolie—possibly while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston—many hearts broke. The globe experienced a collective state of shock. Ben Afleck and Jennifer Garner continue to be fodder for tabloids and celebrity gossip mongers, especially in light of recent rumours that the couple cohabitates in spite of their separation. One thing this pressure makes clear is that, when it comes to celebrity relationships, things are not always what they seem. People whose livelihoods depend on the right persona can cultivate an air of apparent happiness even when things behind the scene are crumbling. Don’t believe the hype. The celebrities you admire likely face very similar challenges to your own, and money does not solve everything. If anything, it only serves as a complicating factor, giving couples more and bigger things to endlessly bicker over. Beneath the veneer of perfection often lie deeply insecure people—just like the rest of us. ### Why Celebrity Status Challenges Relationships Celebrities have frequently been lambasted for their short-lived marriages and courtships, but the criticisms might not be entirely fair. The divorce rate is sky high across the nation, and throughout much of the globe; the only difference with celebrities is that their divorces are much more public. They do, however, face some unique pressures. Those include: - A throng of adoring fans who can stoke the jealousy of even the most secure partner. - An endless range of romantic options. Bored in your marriage? An affair may be the easiest thing in the world as a celebrity. - Constant invasions of privacy from paparazzi, journalists, and endless speculation by everyday citizens. - Competing career demands. When one partner’s career is sailing high, the other’s might be in the tank. Public speculation and criticism can compound these stresses. - Financial issues; though celebrities make more money than the rest of us, they also have more money to waste—and more to fight over. ### A Little Celebrity in All of Us? Think the world of celebrities is greatly distanced from your own? Think again. The truth is that we all have a bit of celebrity in us. Every person must cultivate their public persona, particularly in a world ruled by social media. Often those public personas conflict with who we are at our core. And sometimes they even interfere with our relationships—such as when a popular blog attracts a bevy of admirers, or when Facebook flirtations escalate out of control. Likewise, most people face some form of outside pressure and speculation—whether from friends who do not approve of your relationship, in-laws dedicated to splitting you up, or the competing demands of your career and your home life. Relationships among normal people, then, are not that much different from celebrity relationships after all. Both can benefit from [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) teaches how to balance competing demands, control outside influences, and turn your attention toward the person who matters most—your partner—even when outside influences demand something else from you. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [emdr training services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/), [understanding depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families --- ### [What Makes a Happy Marriage?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-makes-happy-marriage/) **Published:** April 5, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Australia has one of the highest divorce rates in the developed world, yet time and again, couples choose to tie the knot. You can’t help but be inspired by this signal of love in the face of relatively poor odds. But many couples do not make it. This isn’t because of their specific personalities, or even because of relationship issues such as infidelity. ## Couples Counselling: What Makes Happy Marriage and How We Deal With Marriage Issues Couples with difficult personalities or who encounter apparently insurmountable obstacles find ways to make their marriages work each and every day. No matter how tough things have gotten, couples [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) really can pull you back from the brink. ## The Unique Needs of Each Couple Couples often ask us what makes for a happy marriage, but the truth is that there is no single recipe. A marriage is an agreement between two people, and should be structured around that couple’s values and goals. Some couples are zealously committed to equality. For them, an equal division of household labour is vital. Others find this arrangement stifling and frustrating. Most couples view monogamy as a hallmark of a healthy marriage, but even this value is not the same for everyone. Couples can embrace consensual non-monogamy and still have happy, thriving marriages. Ultimately, marriage is a continual negotiation between you and your partner. You don’t have to be the same; you just have to complement one another’s needs, while constantly working to better understand and meet those needs. ## What’s Necessary for a Happy Marriage? Because each marriage is different, the unique ingredients that make it good will vary from couple to couple. We do find that some general themes persist across relationships, even among radically diverse people. Those include: - The importance of continual communication, openness, and honesty. - Putting one another first by not taking other people’s sides in fights or diminishing one another’s feelings. - Doing whatever it takes to understand your partner. - Having at least a few activities you can enjoy and share together. - Having similar goals for the relationship. - Being willing and able to discuss your sexuality and address sexual compatibility issues. - Similar levels of commitment; a marriage is unlikely to work if one partner feels trapped. - Similar views on parenting, though education and [couple counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) can often help address parenting disputes. - Willingness to openly talk about finances, and to listen to your spouse’s financial goals, even if they substantially differ from your own. ## Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage So what is a troubled marriage? Ultimately a troubled marriage is one that makes you feel bad more frequently than it makes you feel good. Research shows that, to feel happy, couples need about five positive interactions for every negative interaction. When this ratio gets thrown out of balance, dissatisfaction is often just around the corner. Some signs that a marriage is in trouble include: - You don’t feel comfortable discussing sensitive issues with your spouse. - Your spouse consistently refuses to talk to you about sensitive issues, or diminishes your feelings. - You blame one another for the problems in your marriage, without taking any responsibility for your own behaviour. - You are physically abusive toward one another. - You call one another names or put one another down in an attempt to “win” fights. - Your spouse abuses your children. - You or your spouse lie to one another. - You or your spouse has been unfaithful. - You feel afraid of your spouse. - One of you is less committed to the marriage than the other. ## How We Deal With Marriage Issues There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to solving marriage issues, just as there’s no single right way to have a marriage. Our approach begins with talking to each member of the couple to determine what the problems are in the marriage, from each person’s perspective. We believe that our role is to address both side’s feelings, not to find some ultimate truth. We will also: - Offer insight into problematic behaviours. - Provide information on effective communication strategies, then help you each practice those strategies. - Offer parenting advice and support. - Protect the spouse who is begin abused by aggressively addressing any abuse that occurs. - Help you decide whether you want to save your marriage. - Help each of you find more effective ways to communicate your own needs while addressing the needs of your partner. Your marriage is your most important relationship, and it touches every facet of your life. When a marriage is in trouble, it is very difficult to be happy. Let us help you chart a course back to happiness through relationship counselling. It is possible, if you are willing to put in the work! At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [emdr training services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/), [psychodynamic therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalytic-psychodynamic-therapy/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples Counselling, Couples and Families **Tags:** couples counselling, couples retreat, marriage counselling, relationship counselling --- ### [Is Social Media Bad for Your Mental Health?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/social-media-bad-mental-health/) **Published:** April 28, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Think social media is just a convenient way to stay in touch with friends and family? Think again. An emerging body of research suggests that social media may actually undermine your mental health. Here’s what you need to know. ## Social Media Can Undermine Self-Esteem Social media does not represent reality. Instead, it allows people to craft a carefully honed portrait of themselves. For some people, this means sharing everything. For most, it means sharing only the good things—career successes, fancy vacations, engagement rings. This false positive impression can leave social media users feeling bad about their lives by comparison. After all, you know your own weaknesses, so if you only see other people’s strengths, feeling like your life is inadequate is a virtual inevitability. ## Social Media Can Make You Feel Depressed Social media can make you depressed, particularly if you compare yourself to other social media users. The risk is [especially high in teenagers](http://www.mainlinetoday.com/Blogs/Thinking-Forward/February-2014/Can-Too-Much-Social-Media-Cause-Depression/), who may not fully understand that social media is a fantasy world. The more time you spend on social media, the more likely you are to have [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/). This might be because social media can be addictive, pulling you away from more substantive, meaningful activities. ## Social Media Contributes to Relationship Turmoil It’s happened to just about every social media user: you friend a mild-mannered acquaintance on social media, only to witness them bullying everyone on their Facebook page. Social media creates opportunities for conflict that never would have occurred in real life. Many people have lost friends or instigated conflict with family members over the contents of social media. This creates wholly unnecessary conflict that can make life significantly more difficult than it needs to be. ## Social Media Exposes You to Bullying More than two-thirds of social media users have been bullied, and bullied can have serious consequences for mental health. Some social media sites do little to protect users. In other cases, users find that bullies follow them offline and begin calling them or stalking. Sharing your life online exposes you to people who might be unkind, and gives them the information they need to harm you. ## How to Intelligently Use Social Media This doesn’t mean you have to avoid social media altogether. Particularly for people who feel isolated or who have many loved ones they would like to keep up with across long distances, social media can be a great source of comfort. Some tips for positive use of social media include: - Limit your use of social media to only a few times per day. Constantly checking your account, particularly on your phone, creates a distraction and can interfere with healthy relationships. - Create privacy filters so that you only share things with people you know. - Think carefully about what you share on social media, and know that it can be made public and permanent with the press of a button. - Choose your social media friends carefully. - Use social media to stay in touch with others or promote your career, not to fight with others. If social media has become a problem, Three Seas can help. Internet addiction is increasingly prevalent, but [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) works. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How Parental Conflict Affects Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/parental-conflict-affects-children/) **Published:** May 16, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** How Parental Conflict Affects Children? It’s easy for adults to forget what it felt like to be children. And one of the most frequent things we see when this occurs is that adults think children don’t notice their surroundings. Married couples who endlessly fight think that their children don’t hear the yelling, notice the tension, or pick up on the subtle distance between mom and dad. Children are little, not stupid. Because they have little control over their environment, they may feel trapped when there are conflicts between their parents, and often struggle to articulate their emotions. Here’s what you need to know about how conflict affects your children. ## Your Children Know Children are keen readers of their parents’ emotions. Even if you manage to never fight, or even be cross, in front of your child, he or she will pick up on changes in your marriage. Whether it’s that mom and dad don’t spend as much time together, or observing that they’re just not as physically affectionate, don’t think you have your child fooled. Instead, your child is probably too anxious to bring up the conflict, for fear of upsetting you. ## Divorce Is Not a Solution Some parents embroiled in conflict think that by divorcing, they can save their children from the stress of endless parental conflict. Research consistently shows that, as long as there is no abuse in the home, divorce is actually a worse option for kids than parental conflict. Focus on doing what you can to fix your marriage. If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, consult Three Seas [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) for [relationship counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) or marital counselling or [children counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/). ## How Conflict Affects Kids Watching parents fight affects children in myriad ways, including: - Increased anxiety, since your child might worry about what will happen next and whether the fighting is his or her fault. - Difficulty concentrating. - Acting out at school or at home. - Poor relationship skills. - Decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities. - Changes in eating habits. - Increased fearfulness, nightmares, or difficulty sleeping alone. - Hostility toward one or both parents. - Regressing to an earlier stage of development. - Aggression. ## Fighting Constructively Every relationship has conflict, and it’s a myth that you should not fight in front of your kids. Instead, what mattes is that your child sees you resolving conflict in a loving way. Try calmly talking to one another when your kids are in the room, so your child can overhear you resolving conflict. If you can’t manage to do this, it’s time to seek counselling—and in the meantime, reserve your conflicts for when your children are not home. ## Offering Reassurance Some parents are reticent to talk to their children about conflict, fearing that these conversations incite fear rather than minimising it. But children need reassurance from their parents. Bring up the topic, and encourage your child to share his or her feelings and ask questions. Some strategies to try include: - Telling your child that the conflict has nothing to do with him or her, and that you will work to resolve the conflict. - Asking what you can do to help your child feel safer. - Reassuring your child that everyone, even grown-ups who love each other very much, fights sometimes. - Offering to give your child an adult to talk to, such as a counsellor at Three Seas. If you’re struggling to talk to your child about conflict in your family, let us help. We can help you craft an age appropriate solution to help your child better understand what’s happening while finding healthy ways to manage conflict. We can also help you and your spouse get back on track. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents, General Health --- ### [Understanding Psychological Abuse in Marriage](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-psychological-abuse-marriage/) **Published:** May 19, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Campaigns to end domestic abuse typically focus on the most visible, and perhaps most extreme, form of domestic violence: physical assaults. But there is a more common form of abuse that can be just as insidious, but very difficult to recognise. Psychological abuse sometimes precedes physical abuse, but some abusers limit themselves to psychologically torturing their victims only. When this happens, loved ones might not take the abuse seriously, and the victim might even question whether the abuse is real. ## What is Emotional Abuse? Like physical abuse, emotional abuse runs a gamut from moderate to quite severe. Every relationship has problems, and it’s not unusual for partners to say or do things they regret. Emotional abuse is characterised by a pattern, not by a single instance of name-calling that is swiftly followed by an apology. Both men and women can be psychologically abusive, and abusive women are more likely to engage in psychological, rather than physical, abuse. Men still remain the leading culprits in both physical and psychological domestic abuse. ## Signs of Emotional Abuse Some classic signs of emotional abuse include: - Refusing to apologise, claiming not to remember the abuse, or minimising the severity of the abuse. - Blaming the other person for the abuse. - Demanding rigid obedience or “respect.” - Controlling the other person’s finances. - Limiting access to friends or family. - Calling the other person names, or using intimate knowledge about the other person—such as her body image issues—to harm her. - Demanding the full attention of the other person, and being jealous of children, dogs, family members, and other loved ones. - Threatening to harm the other person. - Using threats of self-harm to extract obedience. - Being unwilling to negotiate or talk about problems. - Breaking objects that the other person cares about, or destroying household things in anger or an in attempt to intimidate. ## Understanding Gaslighting One of the most common techniques of emotional abusers is gaslighting. Gaslighting is the practice of causing the abuse victim to question his or her reality. Abuse victims often wonder whether their memories deceive them, whether they deserve the abuse, and whether the abuse even happened. Common gaslighting techniques include lying about the victim to third parties, denying that the abuse ever happened, finding ways to blame the victim for the abuse, or working to make the victim feel crazy or stupid. ## How Emotional Abuse Harms Victims Emotional abuse might not leave physical scars, but its emotional impacts are far-reaching. Victims begin to doubt themselves and their realities, potentially causing them to stay in abusive relationships long after they’ve suffered intense damage. Some other issues associated with emotional abuse include: - Damage to any children involved. Psychological abuse models abuse as normal, teaching children damaging approaches to relationships. - Mental illnesses such as [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, and PTSD. - Job loss, relationship problems, and loss of the ability to participate in most other areas of life. - Chronic self-doubt, even after the relationship ends. - Low self-esteem. - Financial difficulties. Psychological abuse leaves lasting psychological trauma. If you are concerned that you might be in an abusive relationship, Three Seas [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can help. Let us show you how to get out, and how to repair the damage the relationship has done to your life and self-esteem. Choose The Three Seas and find the [right psychologist for you](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/)! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families --- ### [5 Strategies for Dealing With Stress at Work](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-strategies-dealing-stress-work/) **Published:** May 25, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** For many of us, work is synonymous with identity. It’s the reason we answer the question “What do you do?” not with stories about household duties or hobbies, but with a succinct statement of how we earn money. Your life is so much more than work, but when work stress becomes overwhelming, it’s easy to feel like work is all that matters. And if you’re anything like most people, your work stress bleeds substantially into your personal life, making it feel impossible to ever get a break. If career issues feel like they’re ruining your life, or if you’re not sure how to manage the increasing stress of a demanding career, Three Seas can help. We offer career [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) and help with financial stress, as well as therapy to help you strike a healthy balance between work and the rest of your life. In the meantime, here’s what you can do to manage your stress. ## Work Smarter, Not More Many of us buy into the myth that we need to work long hours to be good workers. But research consistently shows that [people waste much of the time they spend at the office](https://www.weboptimizers.com.au/how-to-grow-your-business/). Focus on productivity, not face time. Control meetings so that they are productive, not meandering wastes. In so doing, you’ll reduce your stress, and may even get to go home early. ## Set Clear Boundaries You need clear boundaries between work and your life, so decide what they are going to be. Then remember, boundaries are for you—not other people. If you don’t defend your boundaries, no one else will. So when your boss calls you at 10 in the morning on a Saturday, remind him you don’t work weekends and don’t take the call. Opt for [employee assistance program](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program/) if your company has one. ## Don’t Take Work Home To maintain a clear boundary between work and home, do your work at the office. When you go home, commit to being done for the day. If you work from home, confine your work to one room of the house, and leave when you’re done—not before. Then turn off your phone, stop checking your email, and commit your time to your family. Work takes up so much of our lives that it’s tempting to make it an omnipresent part of existence, but this is a recipe for pure misery. Leave work at work, and don’t spend every evening at home endlessly rehashing the work day. ## Outsource What You Can Every job varies in the extent to which you can outsource things, but almost everyone can outsource something. From paying a content manager to write your practice’s blog to ask your secretary to mail things for you, outsourcing can help you focus on the work that only you can do. It’s easy to get so controlling that you don’t want anyone else to do anything for you, but this is a quick path to misery. Outsource the simple stuff so that you can focus on what really matters. ## Don’t Make Work Your Identity From childhood, many of us hear that we need to love what we do and be passionate about our work. That’s a fantasy—and a narcissistic one at that. It’s great if you’re lucky enough to find a career you love, but most people hate their jobs sometimes. And to get work you love, you often have to do work you hate. Don’t buy into the lie that you need to derive your identity from your job. Work is just one part of your life, and your identity may come from something else—being a parent, your garden, or your volunteer work, for example. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [How to Cope When Your Relationship or Marriage is In Trouble](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/cope-relationship-marriage-trouble/) **Published:** May 27, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** How to cope when your relationship or marriage is in trouble? Relationships make us human, so when your marriage or relationship is in trouble, it’s easy to feel as though your entire world is crumbling around you. Whether it’s the pain of dealing with infidelity or the ongoing frustration of poor communication, every relationship hits its rough spots. And though a troubled relationship absolutely deserves your attention, spending all of your energy focusing on your relationship’s sore spots can leave you feeling like there’s nothing good in your life, and no reason to press on in the face of stress. When your relationship is in trouble, here are some simple strategies for keeping the rest of your life from falling into disarray. ## Consider Psychological Help Relationships serve as a support, a source of self-esteem, and even a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If you’re struggling to retain your sense of identity in the midst of a troubled relationship, or if your relationship problems have damaged your hope for the future, consider seeking [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). [Relationship Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) can help you even if your relationship crumbles. Better still, even individual counselling can improve your relationship, since the skills you master in therapy can help you improve your communication skills in your relationship. ## Do Something Every Day That Makes You Happy It’s easy to spend all of your time looking for ways to fix your relationship or waiting for your partner to change their ways. But if you don’t protect yourself, you have little to offer to your relationship or partner when things do turn around. Do something you enjoy every day. This makes you a more appealing partner, giving your partner a reason to keep working. Even more importantly, this can help stave off [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) and anxiety, and remind you that you are so much more than just your relationship. ## Don’t Rely On Your Partner for Happiness If you convince yourself that you’ll only be happy when things turn around in your relationship, you’ve put your entire life in someone else’s hands. This is a recipe for misery. Don’t wait for your partner to come around. You can be happy even in a troubled relationship, and if the relationship ends, you can still be happy as a single person. If you have trouble believing this, consider pursuing counselling. ## Get Social When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s easy to prioritise your relationship at the expense of your friendships. This can leave you feeling isolated when your relationship deteriorates. Take some time to reconnect with your friends and family. Even a single outing or phone call each week can help you feel more connected. Struggling to make friends? Try joining a book club, taking a class, or participating in an activity with like-minded people. It will take your mind off of your relationship problems, and give you the chance to form meaningful, lasting friendships with people who enjoy the things you do and think like you. ## Remember Your Career Your relationship shouldn’t be your sole source of identity. If you work, consider throwing yourself full force into your career. Achievements at work, praise from your boss, and the sense that you’re doing something that really matters can all offset the pain of a relationship that’s floundering. Three Seas routinely helps couples struggling with relationship problems, as well as individuals trying to rediscover a sense of identity in the midst of relationship challenges. If you feel overwhelmed, let us help you chary a course out of the pain and into a happier, more fulfilling life and relationship. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Couples and Families, General Health --- ### [5 Physical Symptoms That Could Be Due to Mental Health Issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-physical-symptoms-due-mental-health-issues/) **Published:** June 3, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** The body and mind are strange things. And though we like to think of them as separate entities, they are intimately connected. We know, for example, that stress raises blood pressure, which in turn elevates the risk of heart attack and stroke. Likewise, [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) can lower immune function, making you more vulnerable to communicable diseases and chronic pain. Chronic physiological symptoms always warrant a trip to the doctor, but if your doctor can find nothing wrong with you, consider the possibility that your symptoms might actually have a psychological origin. These five symptoms commonly co-occur with a host of mental health issues. ## Chronic Muscle Pain Stress, anxiety, and depression can cause you to physically tense up. Over time, this creates chronic muscle tension. You might not even be aware that you’re tensing your muscles, potentially causing you to worry you have a chronic illness or a muscle injury. But if your muscles continually hurt, your doctor can find nothing wrong, and strategies such as exercise and massage offer only temporary relief, your mental health might be the real culprit. ## Unexplained Headaches When your head hurts, it’s easy to convince yourself something neurological is wrong. Most headaches are actually muscular in origin. When the muscles in your shoulders and neck tense up, the pain can travel to your head, causing long-lasting headaches. In some cases, stress may even change how your body processes neurotransmitters and hormones, adding to your head pain. If your doctor says there’s nothing wrong with your head, see if a massage of your neck or shoulders helps. If it does, you’re suffering from tension headaches that are likely psychological in origin. ## Gastrointestinal Problems A number of minor and major health problems, ranging from food allergies to cancer, can cause gastrointestinal distress. You should always get these issues checked out with a doctor first. If your doctor finds nothing wrong, anxiety could be the culprit. Digestion is a sensitive process, and small disruptions n your body can throw things off. Chronic diarrhoea, stomach pain, gas, bloating, and even vomiting may indicate anxiety or depression. ## Twitches and Tremors Almost everyone develops a short-lived twitch at some point, and these twitches—often in the eye—can be scary. They’re usually nothing to worry about, and are often related to stress and eye strain. Get checked out by your doctor if you’re concerned, but if the problem persists and your doctor finds nothing wrong, consider the possibility that the problem is stress. ## Insomnia Insomnia is almost always psychological in origin. From depression that disrupts your sleeping schedule to anxiety that keeps you up all night, it’s easy to fall into an unhealthy insomnia cycle. Try cutting out caffeine and getting plenty of exercise during the day. If that doesn’t help, it’s time to consult with your doctor and a counsellor. Three Seas understands the close connection between mind and body, and we can help you resolve issues that affect both. You deserve to feel better, and we can help you get there with [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [What to Do if Someone You Love is in an Abusive Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/someone-love-abusive-relationship/) **Published:** June 7, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Relationships make life worth living. So when a romantic relationship turns abusive, it can be hard to accept the urgent need to move on. Love for the abusive partner, fear of the unknown, low self-esteem, and a range of other issues can conspire to keep a loved one in an abusive relationship. If someone you love is trapped in an abusive relationship, know that it is not their fault. Nothing anyone can do can fore another person to abuse them, so don’t listen to the abuser’s excuses. You also need to know that, while you cannot force someone to leave an abusive relationship, your help can increase the odds that a loved one gets out safely. ## Talk to Your Loved One Helping your loved one out of an abusive relationship begins with a simple conversation. If your loved one denies the abuse, there’s not much you can do, but letting him or her know you care is still a vital first step that may encourage him or her to leave down the road. If your loved one admits to the abuse, talk about the reasons he or she is staying, then work to address those issues. For example, if your loved one thinks the abuse is deserved, help them understand that abuse is never acceptable, even in the face of infidelity and other problem behaviors. ## Don’t Confront the Abuser It’s tempting to confront, and even threaten, the abuser. Doing so is never a good idea. It may place you in danger. Even if it doesn’t, it almost certainly endangers your loved one. Abusers are controlling people who use abuse to manage the behavior of people they claim to love. If the abuser knows that the victim has reported the behavior, he may resort to extreme measures to control her. ## Design a Safety Plan If your loved one is not yet ready to leave, that doesn’t mean you have to give up. Work with them to design a safety plan in the event of an emergency. Outline whom to call, what to do, and consider helping them pack an emergency bag so that they can quickly leave if doing so becomes necessary. ## Offer Options Leaving a relationship often means leaving an entire life behind—and that includes pets and a beloved home. It’s not easy. So work with your loved one to devise and implement specific strategies to make leaving more manageable. For instance, you might allow your loved one to stay with you for a few weeks, offer some financial assistance, or provide child care to your loved one. Practical, specific support is far more helpful than vague reassurances that you care. ## Suggest Counselling Abuse is never the victim’s fault, but psychological issues cause some victims to stay with abuse people. Your loved one might have low self-esteem, have grown up in a family where men abused women, or truly believe that she deserves abuse. Consider encouraging your loved one to seek [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/)—not with the abuser([relationship counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/)), but on her own. If you’re struggling to find ways to help a loved one who is an abuse victim, Three Seas may be able to help you come up with effective strategies. Contact us today! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Couples Counselling, Depression, Couples and Families --- ### [Teen Eating Disorders: What Parents Can Do to Help](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/teen-eating-disorders-parents-can-help/) **Published:** June 9, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Research consistently shows that parents are concerned about bullying, substance abuse, and sexual behaviour among their children. But one of the most significant teenage risk factors might be one you never consider: eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. Most people with eating disorders first develop symptoms in adolescence. These disorders carry a higher fatality rate than any other mental illness, and can destroy your child’s health before you even notice the problem. Here’s what parents need to know about teens with eating disorders, and what they can do to help. ## Teen Eating Disorders: Know the Warning Signs Eating disorders thrive in secrecy, so knowing your teen and understanding what’s normal for her is vital to detecting symptoms before it’s too late. Some warning signs of eating disorders include: - Disappearing after each meal. - Unexplained tooth decay that may be due to vomiting food after a meal. - Sudden excess growth of body hair. - Unexplained weight loss. - Changes in skin texture or appearance. - Looking pale or weak. - Low self-esteem or [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/). - Anxiety or controlling behaviour surrounding food; your teen might refuse to eat in certain circumstances, or get defensive when you ask innocuous questions about what she wants to eat. ## Why Teens Develop Eating Disorders Between 90%-95% of people with eating disorders are women, though eating disorders are becoming more common among young men. The reason for this is fairly simple: teens, especially girls, face enormous pressure to conform to an unreasonable standard of beauty that demands thinness. In the face of this pressure, some teens suffer a loss of self-esteem that causes them to take serious risks with their health and eating habits. Some teens are more likely to develop eating disorders than others. Some risk factors include: - A history of sexual abuse. - Controlling parents. - Obsessive or perfectionistic tendencies. - Participating in sports that demand thinness, such as ballet, gymnastics, wrestling, or swimming. - Suffering a recent trauma. - A history of depression or self-esteem problems. - A family history of eating disorders. Of course, some teens develop eating disorders even though they have no risk factors, and others avoid disordered eating in spite of a range of risk factors. ## What Parents Can Do If your child has an eating disorder, your first inclination might be to get angry and even punish her. But attempting to control your child can actually make symptoms worse, since eating disorders are often about control and anxiety. Instead, talk to your child about her body image and ask what you can do to help. [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is of paramount importance. Don’t ignore the role your child’s psychology plays in her disordered eating, even if she promises to change or insists she’ll stop. Eating disorders are a lot like addictions; they happen for a reason, and [children counselling]() can help you and your child uncover the reason. At Three Seas, we partner with parents and their children to get to the heart of disordered eating. We can help you find ways to support your child as we work with your child to improve self-esteem and cultivate a lifetime of healthy eating. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Eating Disorders, General Health **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, depression symptoms, parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology, therapy --- ### [How Retirement Can Affect Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/retirement-can-affect-mental-health/) **Published:** June 24, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## How Retirement Can Affect Mental Health & Why Seeing a Therapist could ease this life transition. Many people spend their entire careers counting the years to retirement. We are eager to get a break from the endless hassle of demanding bosses, conniving co-workers, and chronic financial worries. But retirement can affect mental health in unexpected ways. Somehow, when you finally hit the finish line, everything seems to change. It’s common to struggle with [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, and self-esteem issues. The good news is that these problems often go away on their own as you settle into this new phase of life. Here are some of the most common challenges newly retired Aussies face. ### Loss of Identity Most people respond to queries about that they do with a response about their [jobs](https://saltmedics.com/) or careers. We are raised to see our identities as inexplicably linked to work, so it’s no wonder that many new retirees experience a loss of identity when they first quit working. You might feel like you don’t have much to contribute now that you’re retired or worry that you’re irrelevant—either to your chosen field or your family. One of the easiest ways to combat this sense is to embrace a new hobby or learn a new skill. ### Self-Esteem Issues Particularly if you felt forced out of your previous job, you may experience self-esteem issues. This can affect your relationships with loved ones, your ability to care for yourself, and even your ability to find new ways to spend your time. Sometimes these issues wane with time, but if they get steadily worse, counselling can help. ### Anxiety Anxiety is filled with uncertainty. Now that you’re not spending most of your day at work, you have more time to think about the things that concern you, and you may also have some new worries. Finances, health, your children and grandchildren, how you and your spouse will get along now that you’re spending more time together, and similar topics can all figure prominently in retirement-related anxiety. ### Unexplained Health Symptoms Your physical and mental health are not easily separated. Each affects the other. Retirees sometimes find that the additional time they have around the house is additional time to worry about medical symptoms they previously never noticed. Moreover, some find that their body responds to the shock of retirement with unpleasant symptoms such as headaches and muscle pain. It’s important to get a regular check-up with your doctor but know that everyone experiences periodic aches and pains. Some other changes are common as you age, and nothing to worry about. Don’t allow yourself to fixate on minor health symptoms, or you may soon find that those symptoms overtake your life. ### Depression Depression is common among seniors. Boredom, lack of purpose, fear about the future, anxiety about retirement, changing health, and even age-related cognitive changes can lead to depression. Worse still, depression can look a lot like dementia in older adults since depression inhibits your ability to think clearly. Left untreated, depression may even lead to cognitive decline. Many seniors remain resistant to treating mental health symptoms, but doing so is vital to your long-term health. If you experience persistent feelings of guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness, or sadness, seek professional [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/low-cost-counselling-melbourne/ "Low Cost Counselling Melbourne"). Seeing a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/) or [counsellor](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-are-the-differences-between-psychologists-counsellors-psychiatrists/) can assist with putting things into perspective and help you work through this sometimes-challenging life stage. Our [Client Connect Team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) is highly trained to match you with the right psychologist who specialises in this particular stage in life. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, marriage counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Four Things You Can Do to Improve Body Image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/four-things-can-improve-body-image/) **Published:** June 27, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Like it or not, we live in an increasingly superficial society. This means that body image is a major predictor of emotional well-being. People with a poor body image are much more likely to suffer low self-esteem and [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), even though appearance ultimately means little to nothing about who a person is. This problem is compounded by the images we see each day. Photoshopped models, waifish celebrities, and people plastered on billboards may not even look like the image you see! Make-up, plastic surgery, and endless editing all conspire to present a truly unrealistic and unattainable image of beauty. Of course, when you’re feeling terrible about your body, this is little comfort. If you’re struggling with body image, here are five simple steps you can take right now to feel better. ## Focus on Function, Not Form Your body serves a purpose, and that purpose is so much more than conforming to society’s standards. Rather than trying to lose weight or look a certain way, focus on what your body can do. Embrace the strength of your legs, or the ability of your arms to carry your child. Then set goals for your body that have nothing to do with your appearance. When you see your body as more than just a decorative object, achieving your goals becomes more satisfying and you may just find you love your body a bit more. ## Take a Media Break Research consistently shows that the media makes people feel worse about themselves. Fashion magazines were particularly damaging to body image. Take a media break insofar as you can. Block ads on social media pages. Stop reading fashion magazines. Pre-record television programs so you can fast-forward through the commercials. When you’re not exposed to an unrealistic beauty image, you are far less likely to aspire to it. ## Keep a Compliment Log We all get compliments from time to time, and we all occasionally have positive thoughts about our appearance. You deserve to benefit from these positive experiences! Begin maintaining a log of the compliments you receive, as well as any positive thoughts you have about your body. Then refer to it when you struggle with your self-esteem. People with a poor body image often think that others are judging them. Seeing that other people think only positive things about you can help pull you out of a negative thought cycle. ## Cultivate Your Other Talents Our culture gets things backwards. Your appearance is less important than everything else about who you are. Unfortunately, many people fixate on their appearance when they feel bad about other aspects of themselves, such as their careers and relationships. Three Seas [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can help you address these issues, but there’s something else you can do on your own. Focus on honing your other talents. Take a painting class or write that novel you’ve always wanted to author. Mastering challenges other than weight-loss and luscious hair put you back in touch with what matters and can help body image seem like a trivial and distant concern. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Why Parents Seek Counselling for Their Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/reasons-parents-seek-counselling-children/) **Published:** June 28, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Discover why parents seek counselling for their children? A popular misconception suggests that only children with severe psychological or behavioural problems need [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). The truth is much more nuanced. [Children counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) can help children with a range of issues, including the everyday stress of childhood. Therapy isn’t for broken or bad children, though it can certainly help even these kids. Instead, it offers a welfare boost for all children, helping kids move out of unhealthy behaviour patterns and adjust to life’s challenges. If you’re worried about your child, don’t wait till he or she is in serious trouble to seek counselling. Counselling can benefit your child right now. Here are the most common reasons parents seek therapy for their children, according to our clinical psychologists. ## Drug and Alcohol Use Drug and alcohol use is more common among teenagers than you might think. Studies consistently show that more than half of adolescents have tried alcohol and drugs. Left unsupervised and without intervention, casual use can quickly turn into an addiction. It can also severely disrupt your child’s healthy development. If your child is using drugs or alcohol, it’s time to seek outside help. ## Behavioural Difficulties If your usual discipline tactics have stopped working, or if they appear to be making things worse, don’t let things escalate out of control. Therapy can help with a range of behavioural problems, including disobedience, sneaking out, tantrums, sibling fights, and other common issues. ## Difficulty Making Friends Friends can enrich the life of every child, offering additional support at school and helping children master the social skills that will serve them well for a lifetime. When a child can’t make friends, a school can become a place of immense stress. Children who cannot make friends may also be exposed to bullying. Therapy can help your child master basic social skills, overcome social anxiety, and better understand the barriers she faces to strong friendships. ## Family Conflict Family life isn’t easy. After all, you have multiple people with different personalities and different interests living under the same roof for years on end. Conflict is almost inevitable. If your family is constantly fighting, counselling can help you understand the underlying problems so that you can fix them. ## Parents’ Divorce Even “good” low-conflict divorces are challenging for children. And if you and your ex are endlessly fighting, your child’s living situation has changed, or you can’t agree about custody, it is inevitable that your child will be affected. The more difficulties you and your ex have getting along, the worse, it will be for your child. Counselling helps your child cope, while offering you piratical ideas for managing your divorce, controlling your emotions, and getting along with your ex. ## Depression, Anxiety, and Other Mental Health Issues About 10% of children struggle with a mental health issue at some point. Your child is not choosing [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, or ADHD, and you cannot punish him out of these behaviours. Counselling can help you find ways for your family to manage your child’s symptoms, offer your child insight into her condition, and help you all move forward into happy, productive family harmony. ## Problems at School A school is a lot like your kid’s job. It has its unique stresses and challenges, and some children feel they just don’t fit in at school. Others can’t seem to master the academic routine or get their homework done. If your child struggles at school, it’s not his fault. We can help you understand what the problem is, aid your child to do better at school, and help both you and your child move beyond endless fights about education and academic achievement. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”show” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents **Tags:** parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling --- ### [Parenting Tips & How to Make Parenting Easier?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/make-parenting-easier/) **Published:** June 28, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** How to Make Parenting Easier? Some tips and advice from our therapists and psychologists to help you through the maze that is parenting. Parenting is, simply put, harder than it used to be. Parents face an avalanche of unreasonable expectations and are chronically plagued by the sense that they’re just not doing enough. Many parents who pursue [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) for their children find that they also need it themselves—both to manage the challenges of parenting a difficult child, and to cope with the myriad self-esteem issues that accompany contemporary parenting. ## Five Things You Can Do Right Now to Make Parenting Easier It doesn’t have to be this hard. Here are five things you can do right now to make your job as a parent so much easier. ### Choose Your Battles Sure, everyone wants a perfect child. But dos your child really need to follow your every demand? Successful parenting is about choosing your battles. Think about what really matters and stick to your guns. Then leave the small power struggles alone. It doesn’t really matter if your child reads in bed, doesn’t play the instrument you want him to play, or wants to pain her room a colour you dislike. If you don’t choose your battles carefully, you will spend your entire life as a parent fighting with your child—and you will probably lose most fights. ### Embrace Natural Consequences You don’t have to punish your child for every transgression. Most bad acts come with natural consequences, but you need to let your child experience these consequences. If she doesn’t eat her dinner, she’ll be hungry until the next meal. If he stays up too late, he’ll be exhausted at school. If he doesn’t study, he will incur his teacher’s wrath. Allowing your child to experience natural consequences makes your job easier, and it prepares your child for life in the real world. That’s a double win. ### Don’t Try to Control Everything It’s hard when your child isn’t exactly like you, or when you don’t understand something about your child. But trying to control things that don’t matter—your child’s political or religious beliefs, or his or her sexual orientation, for instance—is a recipe for failure and frustration. Don’t try to control things that are uncontrollable. Instead, focus on the basics—no drugs or alcohol, good grades, treating others with respect, and following family rules of decency. ### Enjoy Time With Your Child Parenting can feel like an endless stream of tasks: clean the kitchen, make dinner, help your child with homework. The list goes on and on, and few of these tasks are actually enjoyable. Time for a new set of priorities. Do only what absolutely needs to be done, and schedule more time for fun. Whether it’s a family movie night, a weekly hike, or just 30 minutes a night spent watching a favourite show together, you’ll enjoy parenting more—and cultivate a better relationship with your child—while getting a much-needed break from life’s most annoying tasks. ### Get a Break You do not have to spend every waking moment with your child to be a good parent. Your relationships with yourself, your friends, and your spouse also matter. Set aside time for each. Schedule a weekly date night. Go to the spa. Take an evening away from your kids. Parenting is hard work, and you’ll be better equipped to tackle it head on when you’re rested and feel good about yourself. If things get serious you can always come to us for [couple’s counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) or [children counselling. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/)We have a range of psychologists who specialise in [family therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents, Couples and Families, General Health **Tags:** parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology --- ### [Five Things You Need to Know About Antidepressants](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-things-need-know-antidepressants/) **Published:** July 6, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Read on to discover the five things you need to know about antidepressants. [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) is one of the most common mental illnesses. Sadly, many people struggle with depression for months or even years before seeking help. You cannot talk or think yourself out of your depression. You’re not weak. It’s not your fault. Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and no one is immune. If your depression is severe or if [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) has failed, your doctor might recommend antidepressants. So how do these drugs work? Here’s what you need to know about antidepressant use. ## Choosing the Right Antidepressant Can be a Challenge There are dozens of antidepressants on the market, and for good reason. Not all antidepressants work for everyone. Depression is a complex disease that remains poorly understood. It can throw many brain chemicals out of whack, so the key with antidepressants is finding one that address your particular brain chemistry. Unfortunately, there’s no test for this yet. It’s a matter of trial and error. Don’t be discouraged if your first antidepressant doesn’t work. Instead, be honest with your doctor and open to trying something new. Research consistently shows that most people must try two-three antidepressants before they find one that works for them. ## You Might Need to Tweak the Dosage Sometimes getting an antidepressant to work is a simple of matter of getting the dosage right. Most doctors start patients on a relatively small dose to monitor for side effects. From there, your doctor might steadily increase your dosing until you begin seeing results. If side effects become overwhelming, your doctor might opt to lower your dosing, or suggest pairing your current antidepressant with another drug. ## Antidepressants Take Time to Work Antidepressants aren’t like painkillers or most other drugs you’re accustomed to taking. They’re systemic drugs, which means they need time to build up in your body to work. You won’t feel better an hour or even a day after taking an antidepressant. If you do, it’s nothing more than a placebo effect. Most antidepressants need 2-3 weeks to accumulate in your system, and maybe even more if you’re starting with a small dose. ## Side Effects Sometimes Appear First One unfortunate reality of antidepressants is that, like all medications, they come with side effects. For many patients, these side effects appear early. They often go away after a week or two, so unless the side effects are severe—intense headaches or aggression, for example—or life-threatening—seizures or loss of consciousness—consider sticking with the drug for another week or two. Always advise your doctor of any side effects you experience, since there may be steps you can take to reduce the severity of certain side effects. ## Lifestyle Matters If you were on high blood pressure medication, you probably wouldn’t smoke, drink lots of alcohol, refuse to exercise, and continue eating an unhealthy diet. The same should be the case for antidepressants. Antidepressants amplify your current health; they are not magic pills, and will work far less efficiently if you do not take good care of yourself. Psychotherapy continues to be the single best thing you can do to increase the effectiveness of antidepressants. Some other actions that can help include: - Getting plenty of sleep each night, and maintaining a regular sleep schedule; don’t oversleep. - Eating a healthy, balanced diet. - Getting plenty of exercises; some studies show that exercise is as helpful for depression as antidepressants. - Maintaining a regular schedule. - Being socially active and working to cultivate new friendships. - Working a job, even if it’s not your dream job. Getting up and going to work every day can boost self-esteem. At The Three Seas we have a wide range of [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) who specialise in depression and who can work collaboratively alongside your GP or psychiatrist if you’re diagnosed with depression. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [What if Therapy Doesn't Work](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/therapy-doesnt-work/) **Published:** July 7, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** What if therapy doesn’t work? [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is a powerful tool to improve your mental health, but it’s not magic. It takes time and dedicated effort, not to mention the skill of a counsellor who specialises in the issues for which you have sought help. But what if therapy isn’t working? ## Help! Therapy is Not Working. What Should I Do? If you’ve been in therapy for more than a month and see no progress, or more than three months and the progress has stopped, you may be stagnating. Here’s what to do. ## Take Stock of What You’re Talking About Therapy isn’t just a place to vent about all your problems. For example, if you seek therapy to deal with trouble at work, but you spend half of each session venting about your spouse, you’re not wisely using your time in therapy. Likewise, if you’re more concerned about how your therapist views you than you are about making progress, you might not be sufficiently honest to get to the heart of what’s troubling you. Take some time to think about the information that is most important in therapy. Then talk to your therapist to craft a plan so that you can remain focused on each session. ## Consider What You Do Outside of Therapy You might only see your therapist or [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) once a week, but life happens every moment of every day. To get the most out of therapy, you should be practising and noticing what you’ve learned in each session. If you’re not, the process will be slow and laborious. To get more in between sessions, try: - Practising the skills, you have learned in therapy outside of therapy. For example, you might try sharing your feelings with your spouse or taking a deep breath before lashing out at a co-worker. - Observing trends in your interactions with others. You might, for instance, notice that you tend to be hostile when you are intimidated. - Listening carefully to feedback others give you rather than becoming immediately defensive. You can then share this feedback in therapy. ## Talk to Your Therapist Your therapist is a provider you’re paying to offer you value. If you feel like therapy isn’t offering you what you hoped, it’s time to have a talk. Ask the following: - Is there anything I can do to expedite the therapeutic process? - What are our therapeutic goals? - Can we try a different approach? - How will I know when I’m making progress? - Why do you think progress is so slow? ## Consider a Switch A good counsellor is invested in your success—not in a permanent paycheck or [relationship counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). If, after several months of therapy and a talk with your therapist, you’re still not making progress, it’s time to try someone else. Some therapists simply aren’t good at managing certain issues. It could also be that you’ve simply found a therapist whose style doesn’t mesh well with your personality. Maybe your therapist’s training is out of date, or your issues are too challenging for him or her. There are many possibilities here, but one thing is clear: finding the right therapist sometimes takes a few wrong turns. It’s not your fault if therapy is not working, but it’s up to you to make the decision to find a therapist whose style works for you. Three Seas can help. Call us today to be paired with the perfect therapist for your needs! \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [Do Counsellors Take Sides](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/counsellors-take-sides/) **Published:** July 13, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Going to [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) can be a difficult decision. But signing up for therapy in a group setting, alongside your spouse, family, or friends, is even more challenging. Not only must you discuss difficult emotions with a therapist; you’ll also be doing so in the presence of people with whom you find yourself in conflict. ## Do Counsellors Take Sides in Family, Group, Couples and Children counselling? Many people entering couples, [children counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) or [family counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) fear that their counsellor will take sides. It’s natural to fear judgement, especially if you already feel judged by the people with whom you attend therapy. But a counsellor’s role is not to take sides; indeed, the most effective counsellors adopt specific strategies to avoid even the appearance of taking sides. You should feel safe sharing even the most intimate details of your life in counselling. ## The Role of Unconditional Positive Regard Counsellors are trained to practice an approach known as unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard is the practice of treating you as a good and decent person, even when the therapist disagrees with something you say or do. Thus a good therapist never takes sides, never shames you or tells you it’s all your fault, but may make suggestions about how you could have a happier life. ## The Importance of Talking About Problem Behaviours You’re in therapy for a reason. If you can’t talk about that reason, then therapy is virtually useless. Counsellors understand this. They know that talking about painful issues in your marriage or family, such as infidelity, pornography addiction, or child abuse, is never easy. For this reason, a good counsellor will help you feel safe to talk about even the most embarrassing problems you face. Your counsellor might not endorse your behaviour, but he or she should never judge you or make you feel like it’s all your fault. ## What if I Feel Bullied? So what happens if you feel bullied in therapy? After all, a good therapist should not judge you, right? In some cases, people feel bullied because they’ve never been held accountable for their behaviour. In others, the problem really is the therapist. Ask yourself this: is the therapist criticising you, or your behaviour? Does your therapist comment on the behaviour of the other people with whom you attend therapy, or only on your behaviour? Do the comments your therapist make point you toward more helpful solutions? Are you and your loved ones making progress in therapy? Contemplating these issues can help you break through your initial defensiveness to better understand whether or not your therapist is a problem. ## Why Therapists Should Not Take Sides Many people attend family or [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) specifically because they hope the therapist will take their side and tell their partner they’re wrong about everything. This is little more than wishful thinking. It takes at least two people to create a relationship problem; both will have to change to fix it. In cases where there is abuse or violence, one party really is to blame. If you have acted violently, be prepared to accept full responsibility for it. Otherwise, prepare for a therapy session in which both you and the other people in therapy will have to look long and hard at your behaviour. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Will My Therapist Judge Me](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/will-therapist-judge/) **Published:** July 15, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Will my therapist judge me? Therapy saves lives, changes relationships, and makes it possible to see hope again when times are tough. Yet many people are highly reluctant to try therapy. The stigma associated with mental illness, coupled with the notion that therapists judge their patients and don’t offer much help, can keep even people in desperate need of help from seeking it. ## Help! I’m Afraid My Therapist Will Judge Me! Therapy is a place where you can share your thoughts and feelings free of judgement. This alone is often enough to inspire powerful change. But what if you’re still afraid of being judged by your counsellor? Here’s what you need to know. ## Acceptance, Not Judgement, in Therapy It’s easy to feel judged in the harsh world we all live in. From parents who never think you’re good enough to the sibling who is always competing with you, the shame associated with constant judgement sharply stings, and can severely undermine mental health. Counsellors are taught, from the earliest days of their training, to listen with an open mind, free of judgement. You should not feel judged by your therapist, though a good therapist and [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) should make recommendations about actions you can take to live a happier life. ## The Role of Confidentiality In Counselling Therapy is a place to freely share your feelings, even when you’re ashamed of them. To protect the sacred space that therapy provides, therapists are required to keep their clients’ secrets, even when they disagree with their clients’ behaviour. Your therapist cannot tell anyone else what you share in therapy, not even your spouse, parents, or child. Your counsellor is only permitted to break [confidentiality](https://thethreeseas.com.au/confidentiality-and-disclosure-of-personal-information/) if he or she believes you pose an immediate threat to yourself or others—even then, your therapist can only break confidentiality enough to protect you, not widely share your secrets with the world. ## Respect for Different Lifestyles We all have our own approach to the world, influenced by culture, religion, early family experiences, and so much more. Most of us believe that our way of viewing the world is the “right” one. For a counsellor, things are different. Counsellors are trained to respect a wide variety of choices and lifestyles. When you share your views in therapy, your counsellor works to help your life adapt to your views—not to make you change your mind about the issues that matter most to you. Rest assured that your therapist judges neither your lifestyle nor your beliefs. ## Why Honesty Matters If you’re anxious about being judged in counselling, you might opt not to share certain information about yourself. Counsellors know this, which is why the best therapists work so hard to make it clear that they are uninterested in judging their clients. If you are concerned about feeling judged, don’t shy away from discussing this issue honestly and openly with your therapist. Once you have some reassurance that your counsellor is not interested in judging you, it’s time to begin opening up. Honesty matters in therapy. Indeed, there’s a compelling argument to be made that honesty may determine how [effective therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychodynamic-therapy/) is. If you can’t open up about your feelings, you cannot change your life. Moreover, the feelings and actions of which you are most ashamed are very likely the ones you most need to discuss in in therapy. So if you feel uncomfortable talking about it, rest assured that this is a sign that you need to talk about it! And don’t worry, your therapist really has heard it all before. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [What to Do if You Feel Suicidal](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-to-do-if-you-feel-suicidal/) **Published:** July 18, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** What to do if you feel suicidal? Suicidal feelings can be overwhelming, lying to you and convincing you that you have no reason to go on. Don’t listen to them. Suicide survivors often remark that the first thing they thought upon moving to take their lives was that they wanted to live. Most people find that their thoughts of suicide dissipate with time. In other words, suicide is a very permanent solution to a solvable, temporary problem. Even if you are convinced that your feelings will never go away, ask yourself this: why do you need to hurt yourself now? Suicide will always be an option, which means there is no harm in waiting until tomorrow or next week. After all, such a permanent solution warrants much thought and contemplation. If you’re feeling suicidal right now and do not know how to cope, here’s what to do. ## Find a Distraction When you’re feeling suicidal, it’s easy to sink so deeply into your feelings that you can feel and think nothing else. Indeed, this sense of being trapped in misery is what convinces many people to take their own lives. Find a way to distract yourself from these fleeting thoughts. Go out for coffee with a friend. Go shopping. Get outside. Do anything that takes your mind off of the immediate misery of now. ## Call Someone You Trust Suicidal thoughts tell us the lie that we are isolated, and that all is hopeless. Don’t listen to this thought. Instead, reach out to someone you trust—a friend who has helped you before, or a family member who you know will not judge you. Avoid contacting people who tend to guilt or shame you, since being judged by a loved one can make you feel worse. ## Call a Hotline If you feel like you have no one to talk to, or you’re nervous about contacting a loved one with your difficult feelings, there is still help. Contact one of Australia’s many suicide hotlines for confidential and private help. You’ll be connected to a caring, trained advocate who can help talk you through what’s troubling you. ## Seek Help for the Underlying Problem People don’t become suicidal for no reason at all. [Divorce](https://thethreeseas.com.au/divorce-and-separation/), a break-up, a [death in the family](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/), financial turmoil, and even weight gain can all trigger thoughts of harming yourself. Once your crisis has passed, it’s time to seek help for the underlying problem. Every problem has a solution, even if you cannot yet see it. Therapy can be extremely helpful in solving a range of problems. Your [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) expert will listen to you without judgement, offering you compassion and support. He or she can then work with you to develop a plan to dig you out of whatever problem has brought you to this point. Your therapist will also help you address the underlying problems that led to your thoughts of suicide. At Three Seas, we work with suicidal people each and every day. Please know that you’re not alone. This feeling is temporary, and can and will go away with the right help. Give that help a chance before you make a decision you cannot take back. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health --- ### [Help! My Antidepressants Are Not Working](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/help-antidepressants-not-working/) **Published:** July 19, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) is a frustrating, and often seemingly intractable illness. So severe of a public health problem is depression that it is the leading cause of disability worldwide. So if you are struggling to find a workable solution for your depression, you’re not alone. It’s not your fault, and you’re not weak. Like many other illnesses, depression takes time, effort, and dedication to treat. If you’re thinking “Help! My antidepressants are not working”, here is what you need to know. ## Trial and Error With Antidepressants Antidepressants are just like any other medication. Sometimes they don’t work right away, and less frequently, they don’t work at all. Research consistently shows that most people need to try 2-3 antidepressants before they discover one that works for them. If your antidepressants are not working, talk to your doctor. You have a number of options: - Sometimes adding a new drug to your current antidepressant amplifies its effects, or reduces the severity of side effects. - You might switch to a new antidepressant. Even if the drugs are a similar formulation, patients sometimes find that a new drug works great, even when the old one did nothing at all. - Your doctor might need to increase your dosage. Sometimes you’re simply not getting an adequately high dose of the drug to benefit from it. ## The Important Role of Therapy and Counselling Antidepressants are not magic pills. You wouldn’t expect a heart condition to improve with medication alone if you were unwilling to adopt a heart-healthy diet. Antidepressants are much the same. They work alongside what you’re already doing, amplifying its effects. If you only take antidepressants but make no other changes, don’t be surprised if you don’t get better at all. Research consistently shows that people who pursue [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) alongside antidepressant treatment get better more quickly, are less likely to relapse, and may even be able to stop taking their antidepressants. Counselling offers numerous benefits, including: - Helping you better understand your relationships. - Empowering you to make healthy choices that reduce your feelings of depression and hopelessness. - Helping you make healthier lifestyle choices. - Offering you solutions that may amplify the effects of your medication. - Providing you with judgement-free support to process challenging emotions. - Helping you control your anger with [anger management](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/). ## Why Lifestyle Matters Counselling can help, but even counselling may not go far enough. To truly get the most out of your depression treatment, you need to show up for counselling every week prepared to learn, share, and discuss the choices that may be contributing to your depression. Therapy can continue outside the walls of your therapist’s office if you’re willing to try to put what you’ve learned into action. Some other strategies that may help your depression dissipate more quickly include: - Exercising for 30 minutes per day most days of the week. [Exercise](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/nike-training-club/id301521403) can be almost as effective as antidepressant treatment. - Eating a balanced, healthy diet. Your doctor can help you determine whether certain foods might increase the efficacy of your antidepressant. - Getting plenty of sleep each night, and not sleeping during the day. - Spending more time on activities you enjoy. - Taking time each day to socialise with friends and loved ones. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [Why Do Stalkers Stalk?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/why-do-stalkers-stalk/) **Published:** August 1, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Why do stalkers stalk? Stalking can be a terrifying and traumatic experience. We often work with stalking victims to help them pick up the pieces of what the stalker has broken. We can even aid stalking victims to create a safety plan to get out of a stalker’s grip. Many of our stalking survivor clients have the same question: Why did this happen to me? It’s not your fault. Stalking is a behaviour that resides in the stalker, not the victim, and there is very little you can do to avoid becoming a target of a dedicated stalker. However, understanding why stalkers stalk—what motivates their dangerous and intimidating behaviour—may help you make wise relationship decisions, and could even empower you to recognise stalking early, before it becomes a life-threatening emergency. ## Mental Illness Not all stalkers are mentally ill, and most mentally ill people are more likely to be the victims of violence than the perpetrators of violence. However, some people have a mental illness that interferes with their ability to have normal relationships, or that causes them to have delusional beliefs about their relationships. These stalkers can be especially dangerous, since they will ignore even the police, so if you believe someone is stalking you due to their mental illness, seek immediate legal assistance. ## A Desire for Control Most stalkers know their victims, and either had or wanted to have a romantic relationship with them at some point. For these stalkers, stalking is about retaining control over the victim. Some people equate control with love or are willing to substitute control when the other party does not like them. These stalkers can become violent when their desires are ignored or left unmet, so if you are concerned that a former romantic interest may be stalking you, you need immediate help. ## A Sense of Entitlement Many stalkers see their needs as simply more important than the needs of others. This feeling of entitlement compels them to engage in stalking behaviour. After all, if the other person says no, that doesn’t matter. What is important is how it makes the stalker feel—at least, that’s how the stalker views it. These stalkers will ignore polite requests to stop calling, insisting that you should take their calls or do what they want for no reason other than that it’s what they want. In most cases, the only way to get the stalking to stop is to involve the authorities. ## Poor Social Skills Some stalking is not particularly intrusive, only crossing the line occasionally. For example, a former romantic interest might call you every day or a friend might send you too many messages on the Internet. In these cases, the stalking is not a threat, just a source of annoyance. People who don’t understand boundaries and who cannot take subtle cues often lack social skills. You will have to be clear and direct, yet gentle. Occasionally, these stalkers escalate to other, more aggressive, forms of stalking, so be prepared to seek help if that occurs. ## Social Media Social media doesn’t directly cause stalking, but it does make it easier for people to stalk one another. People who might not otherwise engage in stalking may do so on social media since it’s easy to track another person with the mere click of a button or swipe of a phone. Protecting your social media account by making everything private and only friending people you know can help protect you from this form of stalking. Stalking can rob you of your sense of self and safety, but you don’t have to suffer in silence. Let Three Seas help you break free from stalking while addressing the ways stalking has undermined your well-being through [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Addictions, Blog, General Health --- ### [Abusive Relationship Warning Signs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/abusive-relationship-warning-signs/) **Published:** August 2, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** At Three Seas, we see the aftermath of abusive relationships every day. There are a range of abusive relationship warning signs that you can be on the lookout for. People who have been abused frequently struggle with self-esteem, flashbacks, anxiety, [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), and an ongoing pattern of unhealthy relationships. If you are currently in an abusive relationship, don’t believe the abuser. No one deserves abuse, and [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) is unlikely to make the abuse stop. The best thing you can do for yourself and your family is getting out as soon as possible. We can help you craft a plan to get out, or if you’re unsure if your relationship is abusive, we’re happy to help you determine whether this relationship is healthy for you. ## Five Abusive Relationship Warning Signs You Need to Know Abusive relationships, though, have the power to grip even the strongest minds. It’s easy to forget that abuse victims may legitimately love their abusers, so leaving is and can be intensely painful. The best way to avoid this pain is to prevent abusive relationships in the first place. Here are five red flags to watch for. ## Inability to Take Responsibility People with abusive personalities are unable to take responsibility for their own behaviour. Consequently, they blame others for their own faults, and never see their own role in the conflict. This is what enables them to emotionally and physically abuse people they claim to love. If your new partner blames everyone else for their problems, says all of their previous lovers were “crazy,” and can never admit to a personal failing, it’s a glaring red flag. ## Extreme Emotional Swings Abusive people aren’t abusive all the time. Indeed, that’s what allows them to get away with their behaviour. They seem charming and happy, so their victims wonder if the abuse is really that bad. Thus you may see extreme mood swings. One minute the person is fine, and the next they’re screaming, crying, or even breaking things. Extreme emotions, and mood swings that appear to happen for no reason are a bad sign. ## Reliance on Gender Stereotypes People are people, not stereotypes. But abusers see people as little more than types. If your new partner insists on telling you all women are one way, and all men are another, it’s a sure sign that they see people as archetypes—not as real, living human beings with feelings and needs. You should be especially concerned if the stereotypes are negative. For example, someone who asserts that all women are liars might use this belief as an excuse to abuse women. ## Excessive Intensity If the other person is excessively emotional early in the relationship, particularly if they seem too attached, this can be a bad sign. Abusers tend to shower their victim with love early, creating a dependency that eventually enables abuse. While feeling in love is not always a sign of a problem, if proclamations of love, a desire to move in together or become exclusive, and other signals of closeness come very early and are accompanied by other signs of abuse, you may be in danger. ## Exerting Control Early Abuse thrives in a climate of isolation since isolation allows abusers to more fully control their victims. Much of this control is subtle—turning you against your best friend by pointing out her faults, spending all your time travelling so that you become more isolated from your family, etc. It’s normal to want to spend lots of time together early in a relationship, but if your relationship has suddenly removed all other relationships, it’s a bad sign. And if your new partner wants access to your finances, to take over your bank account, or to be immediately added to your mortgage, you may be in imminent danger. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [Dealing With Animal Phobias](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/dealing-animal-phobias/) **Published:** August 4, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Read on to discover what to do when dealing with animal phobias. Animals are unpredictable, and they can hurt you if you scare them or encounter an animal whose behaviour is poorly controlled. It’s no wonder, then, that animal phobia is so common. A phobia is more than just a bit of fear. ## What to Do if You’re Scared of Dogs, Cats, or Spiders: Managing Animal Phobias Someone who is afraid of dogs may still be able to be around friendly dogs or walk past a dog without feeling afraid. But a phobia makes it nearly impossible even to look at a dog without feeling terrified. If you suffer from an animal phobia, you are not alone, but your phobia does not have to impede your ability to live a full life. ## Why You Need to Address Your Phobia A hallmark of phobias is avoiding the thing of which you are afraid, so many people with phobias are quite adamant that there is no need to address the issue. This works well, helping them avoid scary stimuli—that is, of course until a stray dog trots up the driveway or a giant spider is in the bathroom. Phobias, by definition, inhibit your ability to live a full life. A dog phobia can mean you are unable to live with the romantic partner of your dreams because they have a dog. A spider phobia can make it impossible to garden or enjoy the great outdoors. And a cat phobia could mean you never get to visit your close friend who has a cat. Life is better when you place no artificial limitations on it, so even if it feels scary, addressing your phobia now can make for a happier tomorrow. ## Controlling Your Environment Until your phobia is under control, negative interactions with the animal you are afraid of can make your phobia worse. So, it’s important to control your environment as much as possible. That means not going to places where the source of your fear is likely to be present, and not counting on others to protect you. If you are afraid of dogs, for example, you need to know that most dog owners view their dogs as special. So, counting on your friends or family to not expose you to their dogs or to prevent their dogs from licking you is a recipe for disaster. ## Enlisting the Help of Loved Ones If your phobia is relatively minor, you may be able to desensitise yourself slowly to the animal you are afraid of. If your friends or family are sensitive to your phobia, they may even be able to help. The key is to start slowly, with a level of exposure you are comfortable with, gradually increasing your exposure to the animal until you are able to tolerate it. ## The Role of Counselling Moving past a phobia is a complex challenge that requires you to challenge yourself without going too far too fast. For most people, eliminating a phobia—particularly of an animal—will need [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/). At Three Seas, we work with phobia clients to help them better understand the physiological and psychological effects of their phobias. We’ll craft a custom plan to help you slowly move from terror to comfort, and to eventually leave your phobia in the past. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [How to Break Destructive Relationship Patterns Once and for All](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/break-destructive-relationship-patterns/) **Published:** August 5, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Read on to discover how to break destructive relationship patterns once and for all. Most of what we learn in life isn’t in a classroom. Instead, we learn the subtle ways of being we pick up from our parents, friends, and earliest relationships. That’s why the child of a parent who practised spanking is more likely to spank her children, even when studies show the practice is damaging. Its why divorce is more common among children whose parents were divorced, and children of parents who read are more likely to love reading themselves. We do what we see, and nowhere is this more apparent than in the area of destructive relationship patterns. These patterns help explain why you keep dating the same person in a different body, or why the same conflicts seem to reappear continually in all of your relationships. You may know there’s something wrong, but not recognise the pattern that’s causing it. Or perhaps you know there’s a pattern—getting attached too quickly, spending too much on presents, or needing too much reassurance—but you have no idea how to break free. Here’s how to end the destructive relationship cycle once and for all. ## Look at Your Own Behaviour No one wants to believe they’re at fault for the problems in their life, but the truth is you have a lot of power over how your life and relationships go. Resolve to look for your own behaviour, not that of your partner, to uncover unhealthy patterns. You may find that specific actions you take trigger specific actions in your partners and that if you can break your own unhealthy patterns, you’ll also break your partner’s unhealthy patterns. ## Know That Destructive Behaviour Can Feel Good Perhaps one of the most exasperating things about destructive behaviour is that it feels good in the moment. The reason for this is simple: the patterns to which we are accustomed feel comfortable and safe. For example, if you grew up in a house where people frequently yelled at one another, you might feel totally justified screaming at your boyfriend or insulting someone on Facebook. You might even feel righteous for doing so. But ask yourself: is this a behaviour that works in the long-term? If it’s not and it feels good, you may have discovered one of the life’s destructive patterns. ## Ask for Feedback From Someone You Trust Destructive relationship patterns are often obvious to the people who love you the most. Your best friend probably knows that you always pick unavailable partners, or that you’re too eager for a commitment, but may be afraid to tell you so. If you’re truly hoping to end a cycle of unhealthy relationship choices, ask someone you trust if they’ve noticed any patterns. Then listen to them without getting angry. ## Seek Counselling Identifying unhealthy relationship patterns is just the beginning. Once you know how these patterns affect you, you may be able to reverse them on your own—particularly if you take proactive steps, such as listing the reasons you want to abandon unhealthy behaviours or meditating daily on healthier practices. But sometimes, destructive behaviours are so ingrained in our psyches that they are difficult to eliminate on their own. This is where [relationship counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) with a [trained psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help. Even if your partner does not come with you, Three Seas can make a major difference in your relationships by helping you identify and reverse unhealthy patterns. It can be painful to admit that you have a history of unhealthy choices, but recognising these choices gives you significant power over your life, and that can serve as a major source of hope and healing. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Couples and Families, General Health, Individual --- ### [5 Tips for Alleviating Stress Right Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-tips-alleviating-stress-right-now/) **Published:** August 8, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** 5 Tips for Alleviating Stress Right Now if you’re feeling stressed, depressed, or just downright hopeless? You might feel like you’ve heard all the same advice: eat better. Sleep more. Spend more time with loved ones. Take care of yourself. This is all so much easier said than done, particularly when you can barely muster the motivation to get out of bed. So what can you do to feel better right now, if you’re facing a moment that leaves you feeling like feeling better is entirely impossible? Here are five ways you can alleviate stress right now. ## When Things Fall Apart: 5 Tips for Alleviating Stress Right Now ### Eat a Healthy Meal In a fast-paced world where few of us take good care of ourselves, it’s easy to forget to eat—or to survive on Granola bars and protein shakes. Take 30 minutes to nourish your body with a large glass of water and a healthy, delicious meal. Feeling a little tired? There’s nothing wrong with getting a pick-me-up from coffee. In fact, research increasingly suggests that coffee is good for your physical and mental health in reasonable quantities. ### The Art of Touch Human touch can release powerful endorphins that make even the most difficult circumstances seem manageable. If you have a partner, spend some time snuggling, kissing, or having sex. Not in the mood? Try paying for a professional massage. The gentle strokes alleviate stress, and can help relieve muscle tension that you might not even have realised you had. ### Get Moving You might feel like you’ve heard that exercise is good for your health a million times before. That’s because it is the very best thing you can do for your physical and mental health. Exercise boasts the power to turn back the clock of ageing, improve cardiovascular health, prolong your life, and even reduce chronic pain. But you don’t have to wait around for the benefits of exercise to materialise weeks or months down the road. Exercising immediately releases endorphins, and can help ease tension and stress. Take a brisk walk or stretch for 10 minutes, and marvel at how quickly you feel better. ### Meditate Meditation slows down racing thoughts, releases hormones that can improve your mood, and may even improve your health. You don’t have to be a Zen master to meditate, or even have any special skills. Simply slow down your breaths, breathing deeply into your stomach, and count to 100 breaths. Alternatively, [practice mindfulness meditation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grounding-techniques-to-calm-your-mind/). Simply go to a quiet space and notice what’s around you, without judgement or distraction. Every time you think of something else, redirect your thoughts to the present space and moment. ### Do Something You Enjoy Sure, you might have a ton of obligations. Here’s the truth: if you feel terrible, you’re not going to get anything done sitting at your desk. Give up on meeting your obligations for an hour, and spend that time doing something you really enjoy—reading, taking a long bath, shopping, gardening, or even playing a video game. The key is that it has to be something you like, not just something you do by default or think that you should like. After an hour of enjoyment, you’ll return to the drudgery of work or household duties with more motivation and a greater sense of hopefulness, making you more efficient and helping you avoid the misery of endlessly wasted time. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Anxiety in Relationships, Blog, Depression, General Health --- ### [5 Psychological Benefits of Spending Time Outside](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-psychological-benefits-spending-time-outside/) **Published:** August 12, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Sound mental health doesn’t necessarily have to mean investing large sums in [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) and [psychiatric care](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychiatrists/). Sometimes a few minor changes in your lifestyle are all it takes. The way we live is a far cry from how our ancestors evolved. It shows in the myriad mental and physical health problems we face. Human beings are meant to spend time outside, but too many of us spend most of our lives chained to our desks, locked away in our homes, and perpetually avoiding the heat and cold of the great outdoors. But time outside can have immediate and long-lasting effects on your mental health. Just 30 minutes a day can spark a near-instant improvement in mental health. Here are five reasons you should spend as much time as you can outside. ## Natural Sunlight and Health You’ve probably heard a lot about how too much sun can cause skin cancer, rapid ageing, and a host of other health problems. But too little sunlight is every bit as dangerous. Indeed, sun deprivation [may be as bad as smoking](http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/860805). Regular sunlight can improve mood, and stimulate vitamin D production. Vitamin D is vital for healthy bones and tissue, and may even contribute to improving your mood. ## More Exercise Sure, you could run on the treadmill or go to an indoor pool, but this turns exercise into a chore. The best exercise is the exercise you enjoy, whether gardening, walking your dog, or playing an outdoor sport. Time outside almost inevitably means more activity. Exercise remains one of the best things you can do for your physical and mental health. Not only is exercise linked with a longer life, healthier heart, and reduced pain; it can also combat anxiety, improve self-esteem, boost body image, and may even be as effective at fighting [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) as some popular antidepressants. ## Cultivating Mindfulness Life indoors is filled with seemingly endless distractions—buzzing phones, the draw of the television or computer screen, and an endless array of obligations. When you’re outside, you get a break from all of this. You also get to see how animals and plants live in the natural world. This can help slow down your thoughts and help you cultivate a meditative state of mindfulness. Mindfulness is linked to higher intelligence, better mental health, lower stress, and even a healthier heart. By taking the time to enjoy the present moment, without worrying about the future or harping on the past, you give your brain and body a valuable gift that can serve you well long after you return to life indoors. ## A Break From Routine Let’s face it: the hustle and bustle of daily life, the routine of everything, the endless bills…they can all get boring. In fact, many of our most depressed clients complain to us that their real problem is boredom. In the great outdoors, something is always different, whether it’s the birds fighting in their nest or the new flower that’s bloomed just outside your window. Time outside gives you a break from your routine, a reminder that life does not have to be endlessly monotonous, and a few brief moments to enjoy your connection to nature, free of guilt or obligations. ## Opportunities to Socialise When you take a stroll around your neighbourhood or go to a local park, you have the chance to meet new people—a chance you’ll never experience locked away in your home. New social interactions, even short ones that last only a moment, can raise self-esteem, improve social skills, and sharpen overall mental health. You might even find yourself making new friends or cultivating a new romantic interest. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [bipolar disorder treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bipolar-disorder-treatment/), [ptsd treatment services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Sports Psychology, General Health --- ### [Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-seasonal-affective-disorder/) **Published:** August 16, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder Think [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) means year-round, non-stop misery? Think again. A type of depression known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD) afflicts people only during certain times of the year. While most people develop SAD during the winter months, SAD can also hit during the summer. Here’s what you need to know. ## What Causes Seasonal Affective Disorder? Seasonal affective disorder is different from traditional depression in that it appears to have a clear external cause that is not related to life events. In other words, people don’t get SAD because something has gone wrong in their lives. Instead, some other shift in the environment—weather changes, alterations in light, or something else that affects the way the body processes emotions—triggers depression. ## How is Seasonal Affective Disorder Different? Most cases of seasonal affective disorder occur during the winter, so experts think that SAD could be due to changes in access to ultraviolet light. But because some cases also occur in summer, this cannot be the sole cause. Mental health experts have suggested a number of potential explanations: - Seasonal changes that trigger physical shifts in the body; for example, seasonal allergies might trigger inflammation that alters neurotransmitter function, thereby changing the way the body processes and manages emotions. - Emotional changes related to changing seasons. Perhaps Christmas reminds you of a traumatic childhood, for example. - Some other as-yet-unidentified factor. Note that not all cases of apparent SAD are actually depression. Sometimes people just feel unhappy for a while and then move on, so don’t assume it’s depression without first consulting a mental health professional. ## Signs and Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder The seasonal affective disorder most commonly occurs in the winter, so if you get symptoms of depression only during the winter months, it’s a pretty strong signal that you might be dealing with SAD. Some other symptoms include: - Tiredness, malaise, and a general sense of feeling down and under the weather. - Feelings of guilt, hopelessness, or sadness. - Changes in sleeping or eating patterns; indeed, it is possible that some people experience natural shifts in these patterns during seasonal changes, potentially triggering an episode of SAD. - Intense feelings of sadness or emptiness that don’t change with your circumstances. If you’re sad about a break-up or financial woes, for example, it’s likely not depression. - Difficult in your relationship with other people. Note that the symptoms of SAD tend to be less severe than with traditional major depression. However, it’s still possible to experience thoughts of suicide. If you experience these thoughts, seek help immediately. ## Treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder The most common treatment for the seasonal affective disorder is a UV light since most cases of SAD occur during the winter. For many people, exposure to this additional sunlight offers near-immediate relief. If your symptoms occur during the summer, are severe, or light [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) does not work, your best bet is therapy. Counselling can help you discern the cause of your depression, craft a plan to free yourself from depression, and educate you about lifestyle choices that may help, such as exercise and dietary changes. If counselling fails or does not offer full relief, counselling blended with medication from our [psychiatrists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychiatrists/) can work wonders. If you’re ready to start the journey toward freedom from SAD, contact Three Seas today! At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [bipolar disorder treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bipolar-disorder-treatment/), [ptsd treatment services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health, Individual --- ### [Workplace Stress: What You Need to Know](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/workplace-stress-need-know-mental-health/) **Published:** August 18, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Workplace Stress: What You Need to Know. Our lives aren’t what they used to be. 100 years ago, working might have meant going to the family farm or local family store, not driving across town to a cold and impersonal office building. And things just keep escalating out of control. The innovations that were supposed to make life easier—email, faxes, cell phones—by offering immediate contact have created the world in which we are linked to our jobs constantly, with little opportunities for escape. It’s no surprise, then, that one of the most common issues we treat in our patients is burnout, work-related stress, and depression related to a dysfunctional workplace. If you’re struggling with a dysfunctional or abusive workplace, you are far from alone. Here is what you need to know. ## Workplace Stress Matters—And It’s No Joke Workplace stress is no small matter, and it’s certainly not something to joke about. Workaholism is a real mental health condition, and the drive to perfection at work can cripple even the soundest minds. Humans simply did not evolve to spend 8 or more hours a day away from their families, sitting at desks, with little stimulation and almost no exercise. If workplace stress has you overwhelmed, it’s not because you’re weak; it’s because you’re normal. Some of the many effects of job stress include: - Cardiovascular health issues - [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) - Anxiety - Burnout - Problems with family relationships when you take workplace stress home - Chronic pain, particularly if you sit at a desk all day - Insomnia ## You Can Curb Your Stress You can’t fully eliminate the stress you experience at work; and indeed, thinking you can is just a way of blaming yourself for an environment you did not create. But you can set clear boundaries so that work doesn’t follow you home. Remember that boundaries are rules for yourself. You can’t count on anyone else to follow them, so you must zealously defend your boundaries. Try some of the following: - Turn off your phone or work email when you get home. - Do not answer work calls or emails during the weekends or outside of working hours, and make sure that your clients and co-workers know that this is time reserved for your family. - Find a way to transition from work to home, such as taking a walk with your family or eating dinner together. - Take frequent breaks to stretch at work, since the sedentary life behind a desk can undermine health for the long-term. - Remember that you are so much more than your job. Don’t allow work to become your sole source of self-esteem or identity. Great work collegues and people can make it easy for you to enjoy your work. ## You Don’t Have to Take It A dysfunctional workplace can become a lot like an abusive relationship: you keep taking the abuse because you think you can’t do better, or that you deserve it. Maybe things will stop if you’re a better worker. Maybe your manager is just trying to motivate you. Maybe, maybe, maybe. No one deserves an abusive workplace, even if they’re not good at their jobs. So if you’re consistently exposed to abuse and intense stress at work and your workplace [employee assistance program](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program/) is not helping or does not exist, know that you don’t have to take it. Some forms of workplace bullying are even illegal, so if things are really bad, consider getting legal help. No matter the cause of the stress, though, it’s time to start looking for a new job if work is wrecking your life. And in the meantime, let the Three Seas help you. Not only can we teach you coping skills. We may even be able to help you winnow down your job prospects such that you never again work a job where you feel abused. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [anxiety treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/), [ptsd therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health, Individual --- ### [5 Ways You Can Support a Depressed Loved One](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-ways-can-support-depressed-loved-one/) **Published:** August 23, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Loving a depressed person is a frustrating and thankless task. They may seem fine one second, and totally despondent the next. They might blame you for their depression, insist that they are not depressed, and alternate between cruelty and hopelessness. It’s no wonder that so many caregivers to depressed loved ones end up depressed themselves. Read on to discover 5 ways you can support a depressed loved one. Illness as complex as [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) demands complex treatment. Your loved one cannot will their way out of it, but treatment can and does work—though it sometimes takes a while. This means that the very best thing you can do for your loved one is encouraging them to seek [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). In the meantime, here are five steps you can take to support your loved one. ## Don’t Demean Their Feelings You will not win an argument with a depressed person about whether they should feel the way they do. Sure, it might be tempting to try to talk them out of their negative thoughts, but doing so only makes them feel like you’re not listening and don’t care. Listen to their feelings and validate them. Then, if the stream of negativity seems like too much, change the subject. Don’t try to force them to find the positive or admit that things aren’t that bad. Doing so can cause them to shut down and feel worse. ## Provide a Distraction You cannot cure your loved one of their depression, but you may be able to distract them from their pain. Try taking them out for lunch at a favourite restaurant, or scheduling a date night. Sometimes a distraction from the pain can inspire your loved one to remember what life without depression was like. And that might just be the push they need to pursue the treatment they deserve. ## Encourage Healthy Living Healthy living, including regular exercise and a balanced diet, can help combat depression. You can’t force your loved one to lead a healthy lifestyle, and you should not try. You can, however, create an environment where health is easy to embrace. Walk the dog together each night, or ask your loved one to join you at a delicious new health food restaurant. Tending to the body can help calm the mind,and your loved one might simply lack the energy to do this on their own. ## Offer Unconditional Love People with depression often alternate between rejecting their loved ones and being terrified of abandonment. Rest assured that this behaviour has nothing to do with you, and is not a reflection of how much your loved one cares for you. Offer unconditional love, even when your loved one seems angry or flustered. By reassuring your loved one that you love them no matter what, you remove their sense of isolation and despair. ## Take Care of Yourself You cannot take care of your loved one if you are not taking care of yourself. There is no shame in taking a break to tend to your needs. Indeed, if you don’t, you might end up depressed. If you’re having trouble coping, know that therapy can help you just as much as it helps your loved one, so contact Three Seas today! At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [anxiety treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/), [ptsd therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, Depression, General Health --- ### [How Traumatic Events Affect the Brain and Body](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/traumatic-events-affect-brain-body/) **Published:** May 1, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** How Traumatic Events Affect the Brain and Body? Our world is full of tragedies. Rape is a common experience, particularly among women, and many people have been involved in abusive and violent relationships. Terrorism is constantly on the television screen, and natural disasters can quickly destroy lives. All of these experiences have one thing in common: they’re forms of trauma. ## What is Trauma? Trauma can lead to a range of mental health symptoms, including [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). So how does trauma affect people? The effects vary from person to person, and with life circumstances, but here are some things you need to know about trauma. ## Trauma Changes Your Body If you sustain injuries associated with your trauma, those injuries can serve as a constant reminder of what you’ve been through. But even if you experience no physical injuries, trauma can change your body. Trauma survivors are more likely to suffer cardiovascular disease, chronic pain, and a host of other conditions. Some research even suggests that trauma can cause people to die prematurely. Addressing the psychological pain of trauma can help you undo its physical effects. ## Trauma Changes Your Brain The psychological effects of trauma are more than just the product of emotional pain. And they’re far from a choice. Trauma changes the way your brain functions, altering neurotransmitter levels and changing the way your mind processes information. This can make you more vulnerable to other mental health conditions, in addition to creating a vicious cycle whereby you view progressively more experiences through the lens of trauma. ## Trauma Primes You for More Trauma People who have a history of trauma are more vulnerable to future trauma. They may react poorly to stressful life events, or even allow their trauma to colour their behaviour, placing them in danger. For example, some research shows that a previous rape increases the likelihood of a subsequent rape. Involvement in an abusive relationship can alter perceptions about what healthy relationships look like, thereby subjecting a victim to even more abuse. This increasing vulnerability to trauma after one traumatic experience makes it clear that trauma treatment doesn’t just make lives better; it can actually save lives. ## Trauma is Treatable Many mental health conditions spring from unreasonable or fanciful thoughts. Depressed people view the world through a needlessly negative lens; anxious people see danger where none exists. But the after-effects of trauma are based on something real. It’s hard to tell someone their thoughts don’t make sense when they spring from a very real and very terrifying experience. So [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) for trauma victims must be sensitive to the trauma they have experienced. Like our [grief and loss counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) offers help to victims who lose their feeling of safety after suffering a trauma. That’s exactly what we offer at Three Seas. We understand that the symptoms of trauma are different from those of other mental illnesses. Our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) know how to treat trauma survivors, so they can transition from victims to survivors, and lead thriving, happy lives. Trauma is treatable, no matter how bad it feels right now. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual --- ### [Coping Tips for Trauma](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/coping-tips-for-trauma/) **Published:** November 15, 2019 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Coping Tips for Trauma The effects of trauma can feel overwhelming and never ending and navigating through can seem impossible. There are some coping tips for trauma that can help reduce the distress and help you move through the process. These include: 1. Diaphragmatic breathing 2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation 3. Safe Place Imagery 4. Mindfulness Practice 5. Grounding 1. 5 senses 2. Colours 3. Categories ### **1.Diaphragmatic Breathing** *Note: If you live with a medical condition, consult with your doctor prior to beginning any type of relaxation training exercise.* When people are anxious, they tend to take rapid, short and shallow breaths that come from the chest rather than from the abdomen. This type of breathing upsets the oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in the body which results in an increased heart rate, dizziness, muscle tension and sweating. This signals a stress response to the brain which turns on our sympathetic nervous system – in essence kick starting the fight/flight/freeze response which can contribute to anxiety and panic attacks. Deep breathing helps you either avoid the fight/flight/freeze response or helps you ‘switch it off’. By consciously becoming aware of your breathing and regulating its depth and rate, you can decrease the likelihood of experiencing heightened anxiety or a panic attack. 1. Find a quiet place where you feel safe/comfortable. Lie on the floor or sit up straight in a chair with your feet squarely on the floor. Rest your hands in your lap or on the arms of the chair. 2. Place one hand on your upper chest and the other hand on your stomach. Take a slow, deep breath in from your abdomen as you mentally count to four. As you inhale the hand on your stomach should rise up. The hand on your chest should not move. 3. Hold your breath for two seconds and then slowly exhale through your mouth for six seconds. The hand on your stomach should fall back down slowly. 4. Continue this 4-2-6 pattern of breathing for five to ten minutes until you feel relaxed. The more you practice this, the quicker you will feel relaxed with use. ### **2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation** Muscle tension is commonly associated with trauma, stress, anxiety and fear as part of a process that helps our bodies prepare for potentially dangerous situations via activation of the sympathetic nervous system. We may experience neck/shoulder pain, headaches, jaw pain or abdominal cramping. One method of reducing muscle tension is through a technique called Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). In progressive muscle relaxation, you purposefully tense up particular muscle groups for a few seconds and then slowly relax them, paying particular attention to the differences in feelings between being tensed and relaxed. Once practiced for a few minutes, the parasympathetic nervous system comes online and induces a calming sensation throughout the body. ### **3. Safe Place Imagery** This can be based on a real place you have been to or an imaginary place in your mind where you feel safe and peaceful. ### **4. Practice Mindfulness** ### **5. Grounding** After a trauma it is normal to experience flashbacks and heightened anxiety. Grounding techniques help control these symptoms by turning attention away from intrusive memories and symptoms etc and refocusing on the present moment. Grounding techniques can include using your 5 senses to help you purposely take in the details of your surroundings, picking a particular colour and trying to pick out as many things in your surrounding area as possible with that colour, or choosing a category and naming as many items as you can in each one. Examples of categories may include movies, countries, cities etc. All of these techniques encourage your mind to stay in the present moment, therefore reducing re-experiencing symptoms. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Are Mental Illnesses Disabilities?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/are-mental-illnesses-disabilities/) **Published:** November 26, 2019 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ‘Mental illness’ is an umbrella term that covers several different conditions ranging from depression to schizophrenia, and anxiety to personality disorders. Knowing this, it’s important to recognise that one person’s experience with mental illness can be very different from another’s. While some may be able to continue their life with relatively little impact, others may have their functionality altered significantly. A person’s ability to function may also change over time. Therefore, there is no ‘hard and fast’ answer to this question. A condition may be considered a disability when an individual’s ability to function or participate fully in everyday life is strongly affected. While disability is often considered to be caused by physical conditions, it can also be a result of mental illness. The Australian Government’s Department of Health has claimed that mental illness is the largest cause of disability in Australia. The Australian Human Rights Commission has also confirmed that mental illnesses may be considered a disability according to the Disability Discrimination Act. There are many facets involved with having a mental illness that can lead to disability. Amongst others, challenges often arise from its unpredictable nature, the stress experienced when trying to keep a condition confidential, and medication side effects. These factors may lead to difficulties in maintaining consistent employment or engaging in schooling, or forming meaningful relationships with others. Despite this, it is important to recognise that people with a disability can still live fulfilling lives. Government and community services are available for support and advocacy. Additionally, having a mental illness does not necessarily mean that you have a disability. Your psychologist and general practitioner will be able to assist you to determine the degree that your functioning has been affected, and if needed can refer you to relevant support services. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] References - Australian Government: Department of Health. (2009). *Fourth national mental health plan: An agenda for collaborative government action in mental health 2009-2014. The magnitude of the problem.* Retrieved from: - Australian Human Rights Commission. (n.d.). *Mental illness*. Retrieved from: - Wellways. (2019). *Disability*. Retrieved from - World Health Organization. (2019). *Mental disorders.* Retrieved from ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [What Psychologists Mean by Personality](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-psychologists-mean-by-personality/) **Published:** November 26, 2019 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## **What Psychologists Mean by Personality** There are numerous quizzes on the internet that claim to determine your personality. Personality quizzes calculated by simply selecting your favourite food or leisure activity. Many people are drawn to pop quizzes like these in an attempt to more fully understand their behaviour. But have you stopped to consider what psychologists are actually referring to when they use the term “personality”? Personality is the pattern of thoughts, behaviour and feelings that make up an individual. These are considered to be relatively stable over time. While this pattern may indeed determine which leisure activity you like to engage in, it also influences many unseen parts of our lives such as our values and attitudes. Considering how an individual’s personality can have a big impact on how a person experiences the world, it is understandable that this has long been a topic of interest. ### The History of Personality Philosophers and scientists have sought to discover what determines someone’s personality for centuries. Hippocrates was the first to suggest a theory in 370 BCE. He believed that the way a person acted consisted of a balance of ‘humors’, or bodily fluids. Depending on the balance of humors that a person possessed, they would show a tendency towards particular traits (yellow bile would make a person grumpy, black bile would lead someone to be melancholy, phlegm would result in a calm nature and someone with a greater balance of blood would show more cheer). Several others have also put forth various theories in relatively modern times. Suggestions include that personality is influenced by early developmental experiences, responses to reward and punishment, one’s social environment, or by genetics and heredity. Another school of thought is that people there are different characteristics, or traits, that individuals possess to a greater or lesser degree (e.g. openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism etc). While each of these theories have merits and limitations, it is largely accepted that personality is likely to be influenced by a combination of factors. There are times when an individual’s personality can be so rigid and inflexible that it results in significant issues in relationships and difficulty functioning. In these cases, psychological distress may often be present. Possessing these signs or symptoms may indicate a personality disorder. ### Personality Disorders There are several personality disorders which psychologists are trained to detect and provide therapy for. Depending on the disorder, displayed behaviour can include extreme reliance on others, fear of abandonment, narcissism, or eccentricities or “oddness”, among others. Personality disorders often arise in adolescence or young adulthood, and can be present along with other psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Although personality disorders have previously been considered “difficult to treat”, please be assured that there is hope. Our psychologists use evidence-based therapies such as Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to reduce maladaptive symptoms for those with a personality disorder. If you feel that yourself or a close family member may need psychological therapy for a personality disorder, or to make an enquiry regarding our services, please call 98091000. References - American Psychological Association. (2019). *Personality.* Retrieved from Healthdirect. (2018). *Personality disorders: An overview.* Retrieved from - Lumen: Boundless Psychology. (n.d.). *Introduction to personality.* Retrieved from - May, J. S., Richardi, T. M., & Barth, K. S. (2016) Dialectical behavior therapy as treatment for borderline personality disorder. Mental Health Clinician, 6(2), 62-67. doi: 10.9740/mhc.2016.03.62 \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [When is Mental Illness Awareness Month/Week](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/when-is-mental-illness-awareness-month-week/) **Published:** November 26, 2019 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ### When is Mental Illness Awareness Month/Week It is just as important to take care of your mental health as it is your physical health and during the second week of October each year, the nation as a whole makes it a priority to bring awareness to the vital importance of our inner world and overall well being. In 2019 from 5 to 11 October, universities, councils and dedicated mental health institutes stage programs, support groups, exhibitions, fundraisers, forums, performances, workshops and general meetups in an effort to focus on helping each other through the hard times and how essential it is to connect with the mental health support services available to them. By shining a light on wellbeing and community, we can see the importance of taking time for the things that boost our mental wellbeing such as keeping active, giving, relieving stress, connecting and checking in on others, enjoying the moment and caring for all living things. #### How to have the Conversation During Mental Awareness Month (in Australia, this takes place during October), the conversation continues, giving Australians the opportunity to reflect on the mental health of those they care about and what we can do for ourselves when it comes to our own mental health. Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to have conversations with your friends, family and community about mental health and wellbeing. For some people, the thought of having a ‘mental health’ conversation may be uncomfortable or too difficult. The [RU OK](https://www.ruok.org.au/) website has great information on how to start off and have a mental health conversation. #### Mental Health Survey According to the [Mental Health Australia Report to the Nation](https://mhaustralia.org/report/2022-report-nation), the top 5 things important for the mental health and wellbeing of Australians are as follows: - Family/partner support and love: 21% - Friends/socialising with others: 20% - Physical activity/sport: 16% - Being positive/happy: 15% - Having time to yourself: 14% The first [Mental Health Australia Report to the Nation](https://mhaustralia.org/report/2022-report-nation) (2022) reveals that there are many things to celebrate in terms of the mental health and wellbeing of Australians. For the most part, this research suggests we are a happy and socially connected nation who support one another and have things in our lives to look forward to. When we need to, most Australians are able to reach out to a range of formal and informal sources of mental health and wellbeing supports and information, and overwhelmingly, when we access support this is safe, respectful, and effective in improving our mental health. However, there are many areas where our mental health and wellbeing at population level could be strengthened. We are more likely to help others than ask for help ourselves, and we commonly feel we should resolve our issues on our own, suggesting an opportunity to further encourage social connection through vulnerability. Fewer than half of us feel part of a community, and levels of financial and job security are worryingly low. Many of us are also feeling an impact from global threats such as climate change, war and social unrest. As economic and global instability and the threats of climate change evolve over coming years, they will continue to threaten the mental health and wellbeing of Australians. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/85924121656de536b9c706fe91d2b6fbe1d650c24606de36bbd75c6d3dca2a4d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Kimberly [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/noirin/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Essential tips for having a good night sleep! (8 tips for an 8-hour sleep)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/essential-tips-for-having-a-good-night-sleep-8-tips-for-an-8-hour-sleep/) **Published:** March 30, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** It is a dream for many people to have quality sleep every single night. Although this is not the reality for many. Studies have found that 1 in 3 Australians are [not getting enough sleep](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/). Poor sleep can lead to negative effects such as weight gain, increased risk of disease and reduced brain function such as difficulty concentrating. Optimal sleep lies between 7 and 8 hours per night. Sleep is essential for our brains to function throughout our day. Quality sleep can improve focus and increase our energy levels. So how can we improve our sleep? Here are some healthy habits you can implement into your daily life to ultimately improve the quality of your sleep. These ideas are broken down into daytime and night-time factors that you can adjust and become more conscious of. **Day time tips** 1. Spend some time in the sun! Getting outdoors is a great way to improve sleep. Our internal body clocks are regulated by light exposure. This means that when our bodies are subjected to sunlight, our brains also turn on the lights and become awake. Sunlight reduces our melatonin and normalises our circadian rhythm which is important for sleep. Studies have shown that individuals with insomnia who were exposed to daylight had an 83% reduction in the time it took to fall asleep! 2. Avoid that afternoon coffee break! This is the tip that many people do not want to hear! We all know the feeling of having that warm cup of coffee in the workplace which can increase your performance, uplift your mood, and increase your energy! However, drinking coffee late in the day can affect your sleep. Caffeine in coffee, tea and soft drinks can stay in your system for up to 8 hours! Try to have coffee in the mornings only. Alternatively, you can have decaffeinated coffee in the evenings to satisfy that craving. 3. Go for a walk! Daily exercise can boost your sleep quality. Finding the right exercise for you can increase your motivation to exercise regularly. Whether it is going for a walk or run, heading to the gym, or joining a Pilates class. Regular exercise has been shown to reduce insomnia by decreasing the amount of time it takes to fall asleep. So, what are you waiting for, make some time to get those steps in and get your feel-good endorphins running! 4. Be mindful with napping! There are numerous misconceptions around the benefits of napping. We have all found ourselves guilty of an afternoon nap after a stressful day or a night of tossing and turning in our sleep. Power naps can be beneficial when kept between 15-20 minutes. However, napping for more than 30 minutes can negatively affect our sleeping patterns. This effectively makes us more tired during the day and becomes harder to sleep at night. Try to avoid having long naps that are late in the day. **Night-time tips** 1. Turn off your phone! Easier said than done, I know! As we learnt earlier, light exposure tells our brains that we should be awake. Blue light exposure from our phones, laptops and tablets keeps our brains from winding down by reducing the production of melatonin. Melatonin is an important chemical that our body generates in order for us to feel tired and eventually doze off. Aim to disconnect from technology at least an hour before bed to get your body prepared for sleep. 2. Take the time to wind down! Having a night-time routine is a good way to train your brain to be ready for sleep. Winding down for 20 minutes before bed can help you feel more relaxed. Explore a light activity such as stretching, reading a book, listening to music (classical works best!) or even closing your eyes to a guided meditation. These activities can distract you from scrolling on social media and watching endless YouTube videos right before bed. Find the thing that works for you and stick to it! 3. Create a relaxing environment! Make your bedroom as comfy as can be! Our sleep environment has a lot do with our quality of sleep. We all know the difficulty of falling asleep on a hot summer night where we wish it would just cool down! Studies have suggested that cooler rooms lead to better sleep. Investing in a good mattress and pillows to support your neck and spine can also help. You can also try using essential oils, candles, or diffusers to create a more calming ambience. 4. Plan a sleeping schedule! Having a consistent sleep-wake cycle is vital in maintaining a good sleep routine. Scheduling a wake-up time each morning and time for bed each night can regulate our circadian rhythm. Our body clock will then create a habit for itself. Ensure you are getting to sleep early enough to get 8-9 hours of sleep each night. Consider some extra time to wind down before getting into bed. Consistency is key to achieving results for longer and deeper sleep. Overall, sleep is vital for our mental health and optimal brain function. Having a consistent sleep schedule with around 8 hours sleep is important for us to get through our daily lives. Think of the tip that resonates with you most and try to make that change today! If you find you are still having difficulty with sleep, you may consider getting some [professional advice from a GP](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) or Psychologist. Professional guidance can help with sleep issues such as [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/), insomnia, sleep apnoea or any other concerns you may have. References: \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Openness: How can I become a more open person?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/openness-how-can-i-become-a-more-open-person/) **Published:** April 6, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Openness: How can I become a more open person? “So tell me about yourself?” The common question we have all been asked. Most of us can get quite nervous when we are asked to talk about ourselves and disclose parts of who we are (especially during a job interview or meeting someone for the first time). It is important for us to have open communication so that we can build healthy, honest and [happier relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-strategies-that-can-improve-your-relationship/) with others and also with ourselves. Read on to explore openness: how can I become a more open person? Sometimes it can seem as though closing ourselves to others is the safest option. We may have experienced a lack of trust in other people or even get quite nervous about how they may judge us when sharing parts of ourselves. However, being open with our thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs are a way in which we can deeply connect with people to build trust and develop meaningful relationships. **What can I do to be more open?** [Body language talks](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/body-language) - Before we discuss what we can say to others, let’s take a look at body language. Our external body language can have a lot to say about our inner selves. Closed body language such as crossing our legs, avoiding eye contact and facing away from others can express that we don’t want to communicate. This type of body language can make others feel uncomfortable to start a conversation or to ask you a question. Becoming aware of our body language is the first step in creating this change. By using open body language, others will perceive us as more approachable, warm and friendly. A simple tip is to smile more often! Ask more questions - For most of us, creating small talk comes naturally. We are all quite used to those daily discussions on how our day at work has been or how Melbourne’s weather changes so rapidly. Getting on a deeper level can be more difficult. Although when we connect to our closest friends and loved ones by asking deeper questions, we can increase our connection and trust in our relationships. You may want to ask about your partner’s thoughts on religion, or what your best friends think about the universe! So get creative and curious about what you might like to ask and feel free to share your opinions in return! Stay true to you - Building trust with others means that we need to stay true to who we are! Nobody wants to be lied to or deceived. Speak your mind in an honest and open way and it will reward you. The only way people will accept our true selves is if we show it. Don’t be afraid to talk about your quirky interests, funny memories or personal experiences. By letting others know our authentic selves they will also be more willing to share their own personal stories. You may even find that they will relate to you with a similar experience! **Important things to remember:** Take the time to listen - Communication is a two way street. We all want to feel heard and understood when [speaking our mind](https://thethreeseas.com.au/6-rules-for-better-communication-with-loved-ones/), so it is important that we do the same for others. Take the time to listen to others when they are sharing personal information. By showing that we are active listeners, others will feel more at ease and comfortable to share their personal stories in a safe space. Be sensitive to their feelings as they are putting their trust in you to listen. Create a non-judgmental space - We all want to feel accepted when sharing our inner thoughts and experiences. Try to create a non-judgmental space to show others that you are open and accepting of their opinions, to allow them to also do the same with you. Agree to disagree when necessary, it is okay for us to think or feel a different way to others, that’s what makes us who we are. Acknowledging this can create a safe space for both people to feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgement. Consider who you talk to - We don’t need to share things with every person we meet. Some things are personal so it’s okay if we share some parts of ourselves and hold back others. Open communication can build your trust in relationships with family members, friendships and romantic partners. Take the time to consider who it is that you would like to feel more connected with and start there. There may be times where it is helpful for us to discuss personal matters in order to get help or advice, such as speaking to a loved one or a professional such as your [GP or psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). References [https://www.positivelypresent.com/positively\_present/2009/04/are-you-open-.html](https://www.positivelypresent.com/positively_present/2009/04/are-you-open-.html) \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Grounding Techniques to Calm Your Mind](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/grounding-techniques-to-calm-your-mind/) **Published:** April 22, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Grounding Techniques to Calm Your Mind When we are feeling anxious we often experience physical symptoms such as heavy breathing, a racing heartbeat and sweaty palms. In addition to this, we also experience psychological effects such as feeling stressed, overwhelmed and having our minds run a million thoughts per second. Anxiety is our innate capacity to prepare our bodies for potential threat. Imagine walking through the jungle and seeing a large bear in the distance. Our brains would immediately prepare us for action to either; fight, run away or freeze in the moment. In this instance, we would be thanking our bodies for being so readily prepared. However, anxiety in the modern world is very different. Increased frequency and intensity of anxiety in our everyday lives can cause negative impacts on our work performance, relationships and in going about our day in general. Grounding techniques are coping strategies that we can use to reduce symptoms of anxiety. These techniques can calm the body down and bring us back into the present moment where we can recognise that there is no threat or harm around us. Grounding techniques have been effective in reducing symptoms of [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-anxiety-whats-normal-and-when-to-seek-help/), panic attacks, unwanted flashbacks and difficult emotions. There are many different techniques you can use, so we have broken them down into simple and easy steps. 1. **Take a breath!** Breathing is one of the best things we can do to soothe ourselves when we feel overwhelmed. When things get tough we may feel like we are lacking control. But what we can control is our ability to breathe and our ability to consciously focus on it. Boxed breathing is a simple way to calm down the nervous system. - To begin, inhale deeply for 4 seconds - Hold your breath for 4 seconds - Exhale for 4 seconds - And then pause for 4 seconds Repeat the cycle for at least 4 times or more by deeply filling your lungs with air and then releasing. Keep in mind to focus on your breath, by counting to 4 each time, or by placing your hand on your belly to feel yourself inhale and exhale. 2. **Move your body!** Moving your body is another way to relieve [tension and stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/workplace-stress-need-know-mental-health/). Exercise can help to regulate our emotions and put us into a more clear state of mind. Whether it’s just 5 minutes of light stretching or a 30 minute run, getting our endorphins running can reduce the possibility of an oncoming panic attack. Try to find the right exercise that works for you! Think of something you enjoy. A simple walk around the block can be just the cure to get out of a foggy headspace. Clear air can lead to a clear mind! 3. **Mindfulness!** For many people, mindfulness may seem like a boring task where you sit with yourself for half an hour and close your eyes. However, I’m here to tell you that mindfulness can be approached in many ways that are not daunting and are quick and easy. Mindfulness activities have many benefits in regards to regulating our emotions and calming our nervous system. It is also a handy way to bring ourselves into the present moment to alleviate any fear about the past or the future. The 54321 Method - Start by naming 5 objects you can directly see - Name 4 things you can physically touch - Name 3 things you can hear - Name 2 things you can smell - And lastly name one thing you can taste By focusing on our 5 senses we can distract our minds from wondering off and maintain the present moment. This reminds us that we are safe and calm. 4. **State your surroundings!** This technique is helpful in getting our attention to our current state. When we are anxious we tend to be thinking about future situations. This can create a pattern of over thinking and evaluating different scenarios, or even thinking about worse case scenarios. The only thing we can control is our current situation. Right here right now. State your surroundings in terms of facts. You may say something like: - My name is (full name) - I am currently at home - I am in a safe place - I am sitting on a chair - My feet can touch the ground Try to remember where you are, who you are and why you are safe. Stating these facts out loud can help us feel secure and relaxed. Remember to take a deep breath in between each statement. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Coping with social anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/coping-with-social-anxiety/) **Published:** April 29, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** As humans we have all experienced times where we have felt nervous or anxious. It is very common to feel shy or uncomfortable in situations where we may be judged such as at a job interview, going to a party or presenting to a group of people. Generally, this anxiety will settle. [Social anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-anxiety/) is more intense than the feeling of nervousness or being shy. Social anxiety refers to the intense fear of social situations. People experiencing social anxiety often avoid social events altogether, due to an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or scrutinised by others. This level of anxiety is often quite severe, which can begin long before the event has occurred. For example, an individual may experience social anxiety towards attending a friend’s birthday party. They may ruminate about the event for weeks prior, make excuses to avoid the event and start having physical symptoms such as shaking on the way to the event. Social anxiety can disrupt one’s daily living and can often lead to withdrawal and isolation. However it is possible to recognise when this is happening and work through it with a bit of help and guidance. So how can we work on overcoming social anxiety? **Communication Skills** In social situations it can sometimes be scary to know when we can share parts of ourselves including our opinions, thoughts or experiences. When entering a group situation with new people it can be helpful to just listen in first. [Listening attentively](https://thethreeseas.com.au/essential-tips-for-having-a-good-night-sleep-8-tips-for-an-8-hour-sleep/) will help you grasp what the present conversation is about. You can then join in by making a comment on the current topic of conversation. We also respond to others using non-verbal communication. Having a relaxed posture and good eye contact can encourage others to react positively towards you as you [will appear more warm and approachable](https://thethreeseas.com.au/openness-how-can-i-become-a-more-open-person/). **Challenge Negative Thinking** Social anxiety can often lead us to misinterpret comments or facial expressions made by others in social settings. Social anxiety can cause negative thinking patterns such as; Mindreading; assuming that we know what others are thinking about, or they can sense how we are feeling. “They must think I’m silly” Personalising; assuming others behaviours are caused by you. “Everyone looks disinterested; I shouldn’t have spoken about that” Fortune telling; predicting the future and assuming you know that the worst case scenario will happen. “Everyone will laugh at me” Catastrophising; blowing things out of proportion. “Nobody here likes me” To combat this, we can challenge our negative thoughts to provide an alternative explanation as to what may be happening in social situations. 1. Think about a time where you felt anxious in a social setting 2. Write down your negative thoughts before, during and after 3. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself; 1. Is there any evidence for this thought 2. Could there be an alternative explanation By challenging our negative thoughts, we can begin to acknowledge that our anxious thoughts are often untrue and exaggerated. Try to find positive alternatives during this process. For example you may recognise that others may have been tired, rather than personalising their yawning towards you being a boring person. **Gradual Exposure** When we’re feeling anxious we often tend to avoid certain situations that make us feel this way. For example we might prefer to stay at home and watch a movie instead of going to dinner with a group of friends. In the short term avoidance can reduce emotional reactions such as [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/). However, the more you continue to avoid things, the more intense your fear can grow and generalise. This can really reduce your confidence and limit your life by avoiding new experiences and interactions with others. By exposing yourself to social situations, you can develop these skills and build on your confidence to interact with others. Exposure is a step forward to breaking the avoidance cycle. 1. Start by identifying the situations you avoid or feel anxious towards 2. Break this down into achievable steps 3. Gradually increase the difficulty as you A work scenario may look like: - Saying hello to a work colleague - Asking a colleague a work-related question - Asking a colleague how their day has been - Sitting in the lunch room - Making a comment in a group situation \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Daily Mindfulness Practices You Can Use Everyday](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/daily-mindfulness-practices-you-can-use-everyday/) **Published:** May 6, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Daily Mindfulness Practices You Can Use Everyday Most of us are often so busy with the demands of life that we are running from one moment to the next. Whether it’s going to work, cleaning the house, looking after the children, or catching up with friends. Amongst the hustle and bustle of life, we often don’t make the time to stop and smell the roses. Read on to discover a few practical strategies for daily mindfulness practices that can be incorporated into your everyday routine. Mindfulness is a practice that we can implement into our daily lives to improve our wellbeing. Mindfulness is defined by a nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment where you can just be. It involves the process of focusing your attention on the present moment, whilst allowing thoughts, emotions and physical sensations to pass by. Mindfulness takes practice to develop into a habit that can be used daily, and in mindfulness we can find joy, peace, and meaning within our lives. Here is a list of 6 mindful strategies that you can implement into your routine from today 1. ### Practice Gratitude Find a time during your day to focus on the things in your life that you are grateful for. We often tend to focus more on the negatives, the challenges and difficulties that come about in our lives. Find a good time to practice this, such as when you wake up each morning, as this can improve your mindset for the day ahead. 2. ### Find a quiet space Whether it’s on your lunch break, or right before bed, take a few minutes to [control your breathing](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grounding-techniques-to-calm-your-mind/). Take a few deep breaths and focus on how your body is feeling. Our days are often quite rushed and busy, so find a time to slow down and enjoy the present. 3. ### Meditate [Meditation](https://www.themindfulnessapp.com/) is the practice of mindfulness. It allows you to connect with your mind, body and spirit. Meditation is a helpful tool to increase relaxation and reduce [stress relief](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-tips-alleviating-stress-right-now/). Practicing meditation brings us into the present moment where we can connect with ourselves and just be. It is often helpful to begin with guided meditations when trying it out for the first time. 4. ### Acknowledge your feelings Allow yourself to feel your emotions as they arise. Don’t try to force positive emotions or avoid bad emotions. We all experience different emotions so allow yourself to acknowledge each emotion and label it. Be mindful of how you react, and try to let your thoughts pass without onto holding them. 5. ### Spend time in nature Being in nature is a good way to connect to the present moment. Simply taking a walk or sitting by a river with lots of greenery can get us in touch with ourselves and the now. Focus on what you can see, hear and smell. Enjoy and appreciate where and who you are. 6. ### Mindful driving Often driving can be irritating. Practicing mindfulness while driving can improve this experience. Try taking a few deep breaths each time you stop in traffic. You might enjoy listening to your favourite songs or a podcast to be in the present moment. If you start to feel angry or annoyed at other drivers, [identify your emotion](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-anger-issues-and-what-to-expect-from-counselling/) and take a few deep breaths. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Dealing with Grief and Loss](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/dealing-with-grief-and-loss/) **Published:** May 13, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Dealing with Grief and Loss Grief is a normal emotional response we all experience during loss. Read on to discover some helpful tips for dealing with grief and loss. Often people associate grief with the loss of a loved one. This is one of the more intense grief experiences we can endure, although there are lots of ways we can experience grief. This includes; going through a breakup or [divorce](https://thethreeseas.com.au/divorce-and-separation/), [retirement](https://thethreeseas.com.au/retirement-can-affect-mental-health/), loss of job, [death](https://thethreeseas.com.au/dealing-with-grief-and-loss/) of a pet, loss of [friendships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/coping-with-ongoing-lockdowns-during-the-pandemic/), abortion, or miscarriage. Often the pain we experience from loss can be overwhelming. There are many emotions that can arise through guilt, such as anger, sadness, [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-anxiety-whats-normal-and-when-to-seek-help/), guilt, disbelief, shock and frustration. It is normal to feel mixed [emotions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/taming-your-temper/) and to experience different emotions at different times. Grief is an individual healing process that takes time to overcome. Everyone experiences grief in their own way and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is completely normal to feel sad during this time, it is all part of the healing process. Here are some tips to remember if you are currently experiencing grief and loss. 1. ### **Observe your feelings.** It is okay to feel sad, angry or frustrated. Acknowledge that it is acceptable to experience different emotions during this time and that it is a normal part of the grieving process. It is also okay to experience positive emotions such as joy and happiness. This does not mean that you don’t care or have moved on; it simply means you are human. Observing your feelings can bring up lots of memories and stories you can share with family and friends. 2. ### **Grief is a unique process** We all experience grief in our own way. There is no rulebook to go by and no timeframe to fit into, and that’s okay. We may experience denial for a period of time, drift in between sadness and anger, cry and even laugh. All of these emotions are personal and are part of the healing process of accepting and [understanding the grief](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/). 3. ### **Reach out to family and friends** Take some time to chat with family or friends about how you are feeling. It can be helpful to share stories and memories you shared with your loved one. To remember the good times you had together and they impact they had on your life. Support from others can provide reassurance and [comfort](https://thethreeseas.com.au/coping-with-social-anxiety/) for the way you may be feeling. 4. ### **Write a letter** You may feel some regret towards not saying or doing something before the current loss. It can be helpful to have a think about what you would like to say or do and write this out in a letter. This can help alleviate any regret or bottled up emotions by getting it off your chest and into a meaningful letter that you can keep and read back on when you feel you need it. 5. ### **Take each day one step at a time** It can be hard to go about your usual routine during this time. Often we experience lack of energy and interest in the usual things we do. Try to maintain a schedule or routine that you can sustain to keep your eating, sleeping and exercise habits in check. This can help with [balancing your emotions throughout the day](https://thethreeseas.com.au/daily-mindfulness-practices-you-can-use-everyday/). 6. ### **Don’t let others tell you how to feel** We often hear phrases like ‘you’ll get over it’, ‘move on’ or ‘don’t be sad’. These phrases can make us feel misunderstood and invalidate our feelings. Remember that is okay to be feeling whatever emotions you experience. Allow yourself to feel without judgement from yourself or others. You will be able to accept that grief in your own time. 7. ### **Seek out support** If you are feeling overwhelmed and need someone to talk to you can always book an appointment with a counsellor or psychologist. [Mental health professionals](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) are trained to help and support you through this process in safe space where you can feel comfortable to express your feelings. They can also provide tips that are specific to your situation to help you with your healing process. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How can counselling help a broken relationship?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-can-counselling-help-a-broken-relationship/) **Published:** May 20, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** How can counselling help a broken relationship? Read on to discover the various ways it can help. [Couples therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) can often sound like a last resort when things have gotten at its worst point. Often many individuals view therapy as a negative experience where one partner might try to get the therapist on their side, or that one partner will be proved right and the other wrong. However, counselling is not like this at all. Therapy can help to better understand yourself, your behaviours and patterns within the relationship and to also understand your partner. The therapist can be seen as a mediator to manage conflict and help couples see eye to eye by taking turns to speak their mind. There are many varied reasons why couples may have difficulties in their relationship. Some common issues include; - Infidelity - [Communication issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/communication-issues/) - Financial problems - [Reduced intimacy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/intimacy-issues/) - Lack of trust - [Control or abusive behaviour](https://thethreeseas.com.au/abusive-relationship-warning-signs/) Every relationship is unique and there may be more than one issue at present. Some individuals may also feel like they have just grown apart and have lost their spark. Whatever the reason may be, counselling can be an effective way to work through these issues to repair relationships. However, it might not always work. There are some things you need to consider before engaging in couples therapy. Often partners may feel unhappy in their relationships, feeling unheard, disrespected or even stuck with mixed emotions. There is some stigma around coming to therapy to ‘fix’ the relationship, leaving the responsibility in the therapist’s hands. Although this is not the case. Counselling can help but it requires [being open](https://thethreeseas.com.au/openness-how-can-i-become-a-more-open-person/), vulnerable and honest with your feelings and issues at hand. Both individuals need to be open to change. If one partner is not willing to work through the relationship, and only sees a way out, this may cause difficulty. Partners need to be willing to work together and hear each other out in order to make any progress. Individuals also need to be willing to work on themselves. Often individuals may feel like it is their partner’s fault, placing lots of blame on the other person. In this instance we also need to ask ourselves whether we have the capacity to change as well. Couples therapy can help in the following ways; - To increase or [improve communication](https://thethreeseas.com.au/6-rules-for-better-communication-with-loved-ones/) - Manage conflict - Increase intimacy - Deal with financial stressors - Reduce blaming and criticism - Redefine values and strengthen relationship Therapy involves discussing past interactions, behaviours and patterns within the relationship. Therapy provides a safe space where both individuals can be heard, and are given time to discuss their thoughts and feelings. Couples might engage in weekly activities and interventions to strengthen their relationship and promote change. No relationship is perfect and many couples can benefit from early intervention before things get to their worst point of wanting to leave altogether. Counselling can also work towards repairing relationships at point of breakup but sometimes it might not work. Counselling can also be provided to go through a healthy breakup where you can evaluate the things that didn’t work well with the help and guidance of a [counsellor](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). Overall, counselling can provide an opportunity to improve communication, increase emotional connection and create new goals or priorities to work towards. Couples therapy is helpful for those who are willing to give it a chance, to reset and to move forward. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Forgiveness and the Importance of Forgiving](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/forgiveness-and-the-importance-of-forgiving/) **Published:** June 4, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Forgiveness and the Importance of Forgiving Forgiveness and the importance of forgiving. Why should I forgive even if often goes against our human instincts? We are programmed to avoid danger and hurt from anyone who has harmed us or broken our trust. Often people are quick to cut people off more so than trying to work things out and talk things through. If we choose to hold onto grudges and resent, we carry a heavy burden on ourselves. This can weigh us down with negative emotions. [Long-lasting resent](https://thethreeseas.com.au/taming-your-temper/) can also turn into anger or depression. You can continue to carry this burden but eventually, you will get tired and weak and will have no choice but to let go. The sooner you can move through this, the sooner the weight will be off your shoulders to invite a more peaceful and calm mind space. ## How to Forgive & Let Go Letting go of resentment can release unresolved past conflict. Forgiveness has been found to[ improve mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/), as we let go of the negative emotions and thoughts that we attach to past experiences. It is important to be honest and open with ourselves about what it is that hurt us and the challenges we will face to move forward from it. Those who struggle to forgive can often find it difficult to be open and loving in their relationships. Studies have also found that non-forgiveness can decrease self esteem, self worth and being able to accept ourselves and our mistakes. We can become too consumed by our thoughts that we are not able to enjoy the present and go on with life in a positive way. It can also affect our relationships with others and our meaning in life. ## Why Should I Forgive? You might be wondering, ‘Why should I forgive that person for doing something so bad!?’ Forgiveness isn’t always about having a conversation with the person that hurt you. It is an internal process of letting go of the negative thoughts and feelings of resentment, anger, bitterness and the need for revenge toward someone or something that happened to us. [Forgiveness](https://thethreeseas.com.au/why-should-i-forgive/) is not about excusing what happened, forgetting the past or condoning the act, but rather a process that promotes healing. For many people, holding onto grudges may feel like you hold back your power and strength. However, there is much more power held when we can listen to our pain and suffering, to find ways to manage it. By avoiding or suppressing our emotions we are only doing a disservice to ourselves. Only you have the power to witness your headspace, so let’s make it the most pleasant place we can be. Forgiveness has many forms which can include changes within; our thoughts, our behaviour, others behaviours, our emotional experience and decision making processes. It is possible to become more forgiving although it does take significant effort and change to do so. The best place to start would be to [acknowledge](https://thethreeseas.com.au/taming-your-temper/) our pain and begin with forgiving ourselves first. We are often our own worst critics. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, and that is okay. The sooner we can accept this of ourselves, the better. We can then extend this knowledge to forgiving others. ## The Importance of Compassion The practice of [compassion](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-to-encourage-a-loved-one-to-seek-therapy/) with ourselves can increase our empathy and understanding of others as well. It can also reduce our self-punishment. We can also try to look for meaning in our suffering. If we are able to analyse why we are hurt and learn from these experiences, only then can we get better at making decisions and going about our lives. We might find strength in our ability to cope and be resilient. Can you think of something you want to let go of? \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Are You Thinking About Suicide?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/are-you-thinking-about-suicide/) **Published:** June 10, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** If you are thinking about suicide, it might feel like that is the only option you have right now. But this is not the case! There are always other options or solutions, although it may be hard to see this right now, you can get through this. The pain you’re experiencing might feel very overwhelming and difficult to manage. Keep in mind that over time, these feelings will pass just like any emotion. By seeking out support, you can overcome whatever challenges you may be facing and whatever emotions you may be experiencing. Firstly, remember that you are not alone! Many people experience suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. We all have times where we feel no one understands us, life is getting too hard, or that we won’t be able to move forward from something. No matter what the case, time and support can help you get through it. Just because you may be going through a difficult time and are having these thoughts, does not mean that you are crazy, incapable or weak. It is just that you are dealing with more than you can cope with for the time being. It takes a lot of courage to deal with suicidal thoughts and you can learn new coping skills, so that you can redirect your courage to face life’s challenges instead. Emotions are ever changing. We often experience several emotions within just one day. We can go from feeling hunger to content to sadness to anxious to anger to calm and the list goes on. Our emotions constantly come and go and so to can our emotions and thoughts on wanting to give up. Your ability to experience positive emotions is just as equal as your ability to experience negative emotions. Consider the reasons that keep you wanting to live your life. You have family and friends that love and support you. There would be extensive grief if you were to leave your loved ones behind. There are also many things you can accomplish and achieve in your life. Think about your goals and aspirations you would like to experience in the future. Although it may seem like this is impossible right now, by reaching out for support you can continue your life path or make changes to keep you going. You may be wondering why you’re feeling this way. There are many different reasons individuals experience suicidal thoughts. Every reason is unique and personal depending on the circumstances and ability to cope at the time. When we experience intense emotional pain we have difficulty thinking rationally, and can push away the support from others when we need it most. [Counsellors](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), psychologists and even family and friends can help you through this time. They can provide insight, understanding and solutions that you may not have considered yet. There is always a way to make things better. Feelings can change, good things can happen, people can support you and the pain will go away over time. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution that can’t be taken back. All problems can be treated, even when we lose all hope. Those who experience [trauma](https://thethreeseas.com.au/coping-tips-for-trauma/), [loss of loved ones](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/), relationship breakdowns and even mental health issues such as depression or schizophrenia can go on with life in a positive way. There are many people who have been in your position. By reaching out for help you can find a solution too! If you are in a crisis right now and experiencing suicidal thoughts you can reach out to the following hotlines and support services. - [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) – 13 11 14 - [Suicide Line Victoria](https://suicideline.org.au/) – 1300 651 251 - Call 000 - Call your [mental health specialist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/) to make an appointment - Call a friend or family member for support \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [6 Steps to Increasing your Motivation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/6-steps-to-increasing-your-motivation/) **Published:** June 17, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** We all experience those sombre days where we feel unmotivated to do things. Sometimes it feels impossible to break this cycle leaving us feeling stuck or uninspired. Many people assume that motivation is something that happens to us. That it just waltzes along and kicks us into action. However, this is not always the case. Motivation is something that we need to create. If we wait and wait, motivation might not come around. Motivation starts with action. As we know, one action often leads to another. Motivation is often that first step between starting something new, beginning a new project or even cleaning up the house. Finding the energy to get started might feel like the hardest step. But with some helpful tips and a bit of a push it can be achievable to get that motivation going. 1. #### Make a to do list To do lists are a great way to get the mental clutter of what seems like a giant list to do, out onto paper. Often seeing the list written out can be helpful to [reduce our anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/). It can often feel like we have a million things to do when we keep it in our minds. So by writing a list, we can feel a sense of relief by recognising a 10 item to do list rather than what feels like a million. To do lists can also increase motivation to tackle one task at a time. 2. #### Break it down By breaking tasks down into smaller steps, it is more likely that the task at hand will be achieved. It can be overwhelming to think about a large goal that we want to achieve over time. For example you might have a 3000 word report due for work in a few weeks time. This can seem impossible as a whole, but when broken down into 1 hour blocks, or smaller chucks of 200 word paragraphs, it can feel much more achievable and increase your motivation to start the task step by step at your own pace. 3. #### Celebrate your success We can often fall into the trap of procrastinating. Focusing on our future goals and things we need to get done. It’s important to also remember how far we have come so far. Take losing weight, your goal could be to lose 10kgs in 1 year. If by 6 months you’ve lost 3kgs, celebrate this win! You are on the right track and have progressed towards your goal! If we focus on the remaining 7kgs or time frame of 6 months we can often lose motivation. Keeping track of our wins can increase our motivation to keep going and to push through when we might be feeling stuck. 4. #### Don’t compare yourself to others When we compare ourselves to others we can instantly lose motivation. We might feel like we’re not doing things the right way, we’re not doing enough or that we’re not where we should be. We each approach tasks in different ways and that’s okay. You can create your own goals based on your own pace, path and skills. Remember to do what works for you, even if it looks different or is done at a different pace. 5. #### Repeat, repeat and repeat again Starting new habits requires repetition. Our brains will wire new pathways which will strengthen overtime if we provide it with consistency. Just like brushing your teeth has become a morning ritual, beginning a new gym routine or practicing meditation can become a part of your routine if you are consistent over time. If you want to create a new habit, stick to it as best you can, and your motivation will create itself. 6. #### Tell your friends and family It can be easy to avoid working towards our goals. We often procrastinate, make excuses to do it later, or let ourselves off by taking breaks. By sharing our goals with friends and family this can help encourage us to stick to them. Our loved ones can provide us with tips, check in on our progress and keep us accountable which can increase our motivation to stay on track with our goals and tasks at hand. At The Three Seas, we also provide a range of counseling services including [behavioral therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), [depression treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/), and more! Browse our services today or contact us for more information. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Being Assertive: How to Express your Desire](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/being-assertive-how-to-express-your-desire/) **Published:** June 24, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Assertiveness is a core communication skill that can help you to express your needs and wants in an effective manner. For many, standing up for our beliefs and voicing our opinions can seem daunting, but with practice and a few tips, anyone can learn to become more assertive over time. Being assertive allows you to express your point of view, whilst considering the needs and wants of others in a respectful way. Building on this skill can help to boost your own self-esteem and [increase your communication skills](https://thethreeseas.com.au/6-rules-for-better-communication-with-loved-ones/) with others. It also allows for building on your self-respect, as you increase your confidence to convey your interests, thoughts, beliefs and emotions. Expressing yourself in a way that is either too passive or too aggressive can often lead to miscommunication. People will often respond and react to the delivery of your message which can cause conflict. This can reduce effective communication and decision-making processes. Passive communication can include being easygoing or shy, often going along with what others want in group situations. You may tend to avoid conflict altogether, putting your own wants and needs aside to please others. This can look like saying yes often, with difficulty being able to say no. This can worsen your internal conflict over time causing stress or anger by ignoring your own needs. Aggressive communication is where individuals may feel superior to others. They make decisions without considering others thoughts or feelings which can seem selfish. Aggressive communication can also entail humiliation and intimidation towards others. This communication style can lead to feelings of mistrust and disrespect by others. Assertiveness lies in the middle of this spectrum between passive and aggressive. It is a healthy way of communicating with others that provides mutual respect. It can avoid having others take advantage of you, [improve your self-confidence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-belief-and-confidence/) and decision-making skills, help to recognise your emotions and create honest relationships with others. #### How can we learn to be more assertive? 1. Assess your communication style In order to be more assertive, it is helpful to firstly take a look at your current way of communicating. Are you one to [voice your opinions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/openness-how-can-i-become-a-more-open-person/) or do you prefer to remain quiet? Do you often find it difficult to say no to others? Consider your current approach so that you are aware of the changes that need to be made. 2. Use I statements The best way to articulate our wants and needs is by using I statements. This lets others knows how we are feeling or thinking in any given situation. Statements can look like; I think that… I would like… I believe that… or I disagree with… This language allows for others to hear our perspective on situations in which they can then respond without feeling confronted. 3. It’s okay to say no Saying no is a healthy boundary that can often feel difficult to do. An alternative way to decline a request is to say, I can’t do that right now, I’ll do that at a later time, or I have a bit on my plate at the moment. Being direct is the most helpful way to convey your needs. If you need to explain why, keep it brief. Remember, it’s okay to say no, we all have boundaries and needs of our own, and its okay to put ourselves first. 4. Practice increases your confidence If being assertive is something foreign to you, start by doing it slowly. You could practice in low risk situations with friends or family to begin with. When you feel more confident in doing so, you can apply this to the workplace or in group settings. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [4 Simple Tips for Breaking the Cycle of Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/4-simple-tips-for-breaking-the-cycle-of-depression/) **Published:** July 1, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ### 4 Simple Tips for Breaking the Cycle of Depression [Living with depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/) can feel like a consistent drain of your energy, motivation and hope. Just thinking about the things you should do can seem impossible. It feels much easier to stay in bed or to watch TV than to get up and do the daily activities that most people seem to do each day. Read on to discover 4 simple tips for breaking the cycle of depression. Although it may seem difficult, the best way to overcome depression is to break this cycle. The cycle of ruminating on negative thoughts, keeping yourself isolated and avoiding activities altogether. When we experience depression, we might feel too exhausted to do anything or too ashamed to speak to a friend. Keep in mind this is your depression talking. Reaching out and taking the first step is not a sign of weakness. It takes strength to make the first move to recovery and it is possible. When we think about the things we need to do, such as household chores, going to the gym or making dinner, it can seem overwhelming and we can give up before we even try one of these tasks. The key is to start small and build from there. You can start by going out into the backyard for 5 minutes of sun, or calling a friend. Taking the first step is the hardest but it does get easier! It can help to boost your mood and get you on your feet even in the hardest of times. Here are some tips to start small and [break the cycle of ongoing depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/). - **Self Care** Practicing self care can take many forms and is a great way to boost your confidence. Doing something that makes you feel good such as listening to music, painting or playing with your pets can be just the thing to help you get back on your feet. Remember that you can push yourself to do something, even if you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised by how the activity will boost your mood. Try to think of one or two things that you enjoy and by starting off by doing this once daily. - **Don’t push yourself too much** Living with depression can make daily tasks seem overwhelming. The more we think about the things we should be doing, the more the list can pile up and we can feel like it will be impossible to achieve. It is important to start with small goals. You could try to break up tasks by each day. Monday’s could include washing the dishes. On Tuesday’s you could try going for a walk around the block and so on. Taking one step at a time can slowly [increase your motivation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/6-steps-to-increasing-your-motivation/) to build on these goals as time goes on. - **Spend some time in the sun** Studies suggest that being outside in nature, or in the sun can boost our mood significantly. It can reduce levels of depression, anxiety and stress. By going for a walk we can be more present in the moment, relieving us from negative thought patterns of the past and future. Practice listening our for birds chirping, people walking by, watching leaves falling down or even smelling some flowers along your walk. This can help with feelings of fatigue and increase your serotonin levels. - **Talk to someone** Although it may feel like the best option to isolate and withdraw yourself from social interaction, this will only exacerbate your depression. When we are alone, we are forced to be with our thoughts which can spiral into a negative circuit. Reaching out to friends or family can help to break this cycle. Calling a friend can help reduce feelings of loneliness and emptiness. Remember that you are not a burden, it is okay to get a helping hand from your loved ones. Trying this can make your day much better. If you are struggling with depression and would like to seek professional help, speak to your GP for a referral to either a counsellor or psychologist who can help you work through this challenging time. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Overcoming your fear of the unknown](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/overcoming-your-fear-of-the-unknown/) **Published:** July 8, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Fear is part of the human experience. It is caused by our own thoughts, feelings and limiting beliefs. These fears or limiting beliefs can impact our lives by holding us back from our goals. Fear of the unknown can keep us in our comfort zone, and block us from accepting change and experiencing new things. When we choose to live with fear of the unknown, this can impact the choices and decisions that we make. Overcoming this fear will help us to live life to the fullest, but this can only be done if we are prepared to face this fear. #### What is fear of the unknown? Some fears we have are based on what we do know. Such as a learned fear of dangerous animals like snakes. Other times we live in fear of things we are uncertain about. This can look like public speaking where we may fear judgment, or going for a job interview where we may fear failure. But how can we sure of this? Our fear holds us back from the possibility of success and achievement. These fears are irrational thoughts and beliefs about situations, outcomes and people that may feel scary when out of your comfort zone. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, which can result in thinking of worst case scenarios, leading to avoidance or fear. Often people want to feel in control of their lives, and when this is uncertain we might feel threatened. #### So how can we overcome this? 1. ##### Understanding fear Our brains are wired to think about the negative consequences of uncertain outcomes as part of our need for survival. Our brains want to keep us safe and avoid any sense of threat, anxiety and discomfort. However this can keep us in our comfort zones. Fear of the unknown is not based on reality, but on our beliefs about what we think will happen in a given situation. Understanding that we have these thoughts and that they are not always fact is the first step to overcoming them. 2. ##### Identify your fear Often fear can be the result of past experiences. If you have failed, been rejected, felt a lack of confidence or low self esteem, this could be stopping you from trying again or creating new goals. Our fear is there to protect us from getting hurt or feeling anxious but it can stop us from working towards our dreams and aspirations in life. When you have the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, take a look at your fear that arises. It can be helpful to write this down, so you can think of ways to cope. 3. ##### Question your fear One thing we are certain about is that the future has not happened yet. We don’t know what outcome we will receive, whether we will succeed or fail or whether we will like or dislike something until we give it a go. Once you identify you fear, start to question its truth. What evidence is there to support your fear? Think of times where you coped with this fear in the past. This can be helpful to see that our fears are not based on facts, and that our thoughts can often lie to us. 4. ##### Accept failure If we avoid failure, we avoid new possibilities and stick to what we feel comfortable doing. Learning to accept failure is a key step in reducing your fear of the unknown. Through failure, we have an opportunity to grow, learn and expand our knowledge for the next time we try again. Through failure we can learn from our mistakes and can only get better each time we practice new skills. Instead of thinking of failure as a negative outcome, consider it as an opportunity to grow. Think back to the first time you learnt to ride a bike. You got back on the bike each time, and eventually were able to balance on your own! With practice comes progression! 5. ##### Sit with your discomfort Get in touch with your feelings of discomfort when you are worried about uncertainty. It may feel uncomfortable and foreign to begin with, but remember that it is just an emotion. You can sit with it, and allow it to pass through your body. Once we can accept our anxiety and sit with it, it will eventually subside. It can be helpful to talk to friends and family about your feelings. If you would like to reach out for guidance you can also speak to a [mental health professional](https://thethreeseas.com.au). 6. ##### Trust yourself Often we may fear the unknown as we don’t think we will have the ability to cope when bad situations arise. Learn to [trust yourself](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-belief-and-confidence/). This includes your abilities, knowledge, skills and intuition. Think of times you have been able to cope in the past. Even during times where you felt uncomfortable you have been able to push through, seek support and find alternatives. There is always a different perspective or solution when things get difficult. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Taming your Temper](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/taming-your-temper/) **Published:** July 15, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Discover a variety of ways for taming your temper. Anger is a normal emotion that we all experience from time to time. Anger is a helpful emotion that can express our negative feelings towards a certain situation or issue. It can motivate us to make a change, express our opinion or move away from something that no longer serves us. An [experienced psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can guide you in the right direction via counselling. However if anger is not expressed in a healthy way, it can affect both your health and your relationships. It is important to learn how to manage anger, to avoid harming others and more importantly yourself. Often anger can lead to uncontrolled yelling, blaming, holding grudges and resent towards others and physical harm. There are healthier ways to [manage and express anger](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) when we start to feel irritable in certain situations. Firstly it is important to recognise when you’re feeling angry. This might look like clenching your firsts, yelling aloud, feeling flushed or having a racing mind. Acknowledge your symptoms so that you can then use the tips below to calm yourself down and express your anger in a better way. 1. Gather your thoughts Often we can find ourselves speaking and reacting out of anger without realising what we are saying. This can lead us to say things that might be hurtful and that we don’t mean, which can result in feelings of regret afterwards. Try to take a few moments to collect your thoughts to avoid any further confrontation or blame towards others. This also allows for others to do the same. 2. Take some time out When you notice feelings of anger or irritability, try to give yourself a break. A 5 or 10 minute time out can be really helpful to gather your thoughts, calm your anger and process your emotions. Try going for a walk, taking a step outside or even going into another room for some quiet time. This method is helpful to give you time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings so that you can then handle the situation in a helpful way. 3. Express your emotions calmly By [expressing anger in an assertive manner](https://thethreeseas.com.au/being-assertive-how-to-express-your-desire/), you can state your concerns and needs more clearly. This avoids hurting others and having the need to control the situation. Expressing anger does not need to be confrontational. Try to use ‘I’ statements to express your emotions, such as “I feel angry because…’ This lets the other person know how your feeling and why, which gives them the chance to respond in a more helpful way. 4. Come up with solutions Try to come up with some practical ways to solve the problem. You could try writing them out to help you decide what the best solution might be. You could also try to write out the pros and cons if you’re having difficulty with this. Problem solving can reduce any criticism or blame towards others. Reaching out to family or friends can also be helpful to give you some advice from a different perspective. 5. Let go of resent [Forgiveness](https://thethreeseas.com.au/why-should-i-forgive/) can often be the last thing on our minds when we feel hurt or angry. Although if you allow your anger to take over, this can lead to feelings of bitterness or holding grudges towards others. These feelings are unhealthy and unhelpful with managing anger as they can prolong your emotional state. It is important to learn from the situation in order to make things better and to strengthen your relationship with others. Letting go of these emotions are not only beneficial for yourself but also for others around you. 6. Relaxation skills Having a [toolbox of relaxation skills](https://thethreeseas.com.au/daily-mindfulness-practices-you-can-use-everyday/) can also be helpful for times when we feel our anger take hold. Deep breathing exercises are a key tool in calming down the nervous system and [managing stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-tips-alleviating-stress-right-now/). This can be done anywhere at any time. Remember to take long deep breaths, and exhale through your mouth to let go of any negative emotions. You can also try using mantras such as ‘take it easy’ or ‘I’ll get through this’. Writing in a journal or listening to some music can also help to reduce tension. If you are having trouble with managing your anger, consider reaching out for help from mental health professionals such as a counsellor or psychologist. Often it can be difficult to manage emotions on our own but with some guidance you can learn to express your anger in a healthy way. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Why People Self Harm and How to Get Help](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/why-people-self-harm-and-how-to-get-help/) **Published:** July 22, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** # Why People Self Harm and How to Get Help Read on to explore why people self-harm and how to get help? Self harm refers to injuring oneself intentionally. It is often an outer expression of internal pain. Methods of self harm include; cutting, scratching, burning, hitting or punching yourself, banging your head on hard surfaces and sticking objects into your skin. Other forms of self harm can include binge drinking, recreational drug use, unsafe sex and driving recklessly. Self harm is a way of dealing with distress and difficult emotions. Generally, those who engage in self harm find that it helps to feel a release from emotional pain when it might be difficult to put into words. This can provide a sense of relief for a short period of time however these feelings often return and individuals can feel the urge to engage in self harm again. ## Why do people self harm? Often individuals who self harm are dealing with overwhelming emotional pain. They may be going through a tough time and have [difficulty opening up to others](https://thethreeseas.com.au/openness-how-can-i-become-a-more-open-person/). Self harm can be a way to cope with feelings such as sadness, grief, depression, emptiness, loneliness or numbness. Individuals may feel a release of tension, feel more in control of themselves or their current situation or be punishing themselves for something that has happened. For those who feel numbness, self harm can be a way of being able to feel something again. Whatever the reason may be, there is help available if you want to stop. ## Consequences of self harm It’s important to know that self harm is a temporary solution. Relief is often short term and can be followed by feelings of guilt or shame. Self harm is an unhelpful way of dealing with difficult emotions and won’t solve the issue at hand. The consequence of self harm can lead to physical issues/injury, alcohol or drug addictions, major depression or suicide. The best way to stop self harm is to speak to someone you trust about your experience. Although you might feel like a burden or that no one will understand, it is important to remember that professional help is available and counsellor are trained to help and support you. ## How to stop self harming? 1. ### Speak to someone you trust As mentioned above, the best thing to do is to speak to someone. It can be a huge relief to get your emotions off your chest and let go of the tension you are carrying on your own. Deciding who to tell can be tricky. Consider those you trust most, feel supported and accepted by. This can be a close friend, family member, teacher or counsellor. Speaking to someone can help identify what is troubling you, what emotions you are struggling to deal with and provide some comfort and support for how to manage your current situation. 2. ### Focus on your feelings When talking to someone you trust about your experience, try to [communicate the emotions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/being-assertive-how-to-express-your-desire/) you are noticing to help them understand what it is your feeling. Remember that you have control over what you feel comfortable sharing. Don’t feel pressured to show your injuries or answer difficult questions if you’re not ready to. If you’re anxious about talking face to face, consider calling, emailing or texting someone by letting them know you would like their support. Remember you are not a burden! Its okay to not be okay and your support system will want to help as best they can. 3. ### Identify your triggers To reduce your desire to self harm, consider the reasons why you do this. Emotions such as sadness, grief, anger, loneliness or emptiness could be the cause. By understanding what function self harm serves, you can then figure out alternative ways to get these needs met. Noticing your emotions might sound challenging or confronting. Keep in mind that emotions come and go. Acknowledging your emotions can be the first step in sitting with your distress and managing it rather than numbing or avoiding it. 4. ### Try new coping skills Once you have identified the function or triggers of your harm behaviour, you can consider the following alternatives to release tension and express your emotions in a safe way. If you use harm to express pain and intense emotions you could try; journaling your emotions in a diary, writing down your negative emotions and ripping up paper, listening to music that expresses your emotion or painting/drawing your emotions. If you use harm to calm yourself you could try; taking a warm bath or shower, sitting and playing with your pets, getting a massage/massaging your head or hands or listening to calming music Whether you use harm to disconnect or to numb pain you could try; calling a friend, taking a cold shower, holding ice cubes or placing them on your body. If you use harm to release anger/tension you could try; exercising (running, walking, jumping, punching bags), screaming or punching pillows, using stress balls, ripping paper, making loud noises such as using instruments or playing loud music. Consider talking to a therapist such as a counsellor or psychologist if you are struggling with self harm. They can offer you a confidential space to discuss what you’re going through. Furthermore, therapists will offer suggestions and techniques to manage self harm and get to the root of why you might be doing so. They can help to manage difficult emotions and most importantly to manage your safety. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Coping with lockdowns during the pandemic](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/coping-with-lockdowns-during-the-pandemic/) **Published:** August 12, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Coping with lockdowns during the pandemic The ongoing uncertainty of Melbourne’s lockdowns is causing a heightened state of anxiety in the community. State lockdowns are often unexpected and unpleasant for most of us. Consistent lockdowns have led to long term [psychological](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) effects such as anger, anxiety, boredom, loneliness and depression. We also may experience fear in regards to catching the virus, having inadequate information and resources as well as financial stress due to loss of employment. It is normal to be experiencing fear and anxiety during this time. These feelings will typically subside once the pandemic is resolved; however we don’t know how long this will last and the current effects need to be managed to prevent prolonged anxiety and depression due to the pandemic. Most of us will be experiencing a mix of emotions including; frustration, fear, anxiety, sadness, irritability, fatigue and exhaustion. It is normal to be feeling this way due to the uncertainty and isolation that comes along with the lockdowns. The longevity of going in and out of lockdown is becoming exhausting and most of us are losing motivation to get our daily tasks completed. Below are some tips on managing your emotions during the ongoing lockdowns that we are facing. 1. Focus on what we can control It is important for us to focus on the things that we can control as most things feel like they are out of our hands during this time which can be overwhelming. It is quite unclear when things will go back to normal which can leave us feeling unsettled when plans are consistently cancelled or postponed and our sense of freedom feels taken away. Anxiety and fear arises when we feel out of control. Working on the things that we can control in our environment is important to [manage our mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/) during the lockdown periods. This can include things like our eating habits, exercise, managing hygiene, having a self care routine, wearing masks and reaching out to family and friends for support. Another important tip is to control our breathing! Our breath is the best free tool we have to reduce any feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, anger or fear. Whether you try following a meditation or doing a breathing exercise, this can be a very grounding tool to use to manage our emotions. One method of controlled breath is boxed breathing. This involves taking a deep inhale for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 4 seconds and then exhaling deeply for 4 seconds through the mouth. Repeat this several times and focus on your breath to calm yourself down at any given time. 2. Feel your feelings Acknowledging your feelings and allowing yourself to feel through it is an important way to manage your emotions. If you tend to block or avoid negative emotions they can come back at a later time in a more severe or intense way. It is important to listen to our mind and body, whether we feel like crying, releasing anger, or needing to relax due to feeling fatigued, try to give what your body needs. Remember that these emotions will pass and it is normal to be experiencing a mix of emotions during the lockdowns. When these feelings get too overwhelming, go back to step 1 and focus on what you can control such as your breathing to manage these emotions. Don’t forget to talk about your emotions. Speaking about how you feel during the pandemic is important. Remember that you are not alone; we are all going through this together. Although we have a physical restriction, reaching out to friends and family in the household or via phone or online will keep us feeling connected and supported. 3. Limit your exposure to news and social media Throughout the pandemic there are constant news updates and outbreaks which can often feel quite distressing to consume. Although it is important to be aware of what is going on, limiting your exposure to news is important for our mental health. Stick to reliable sources such as the [Australian Government ](https://www.australia.gov.au/)website or World Health Organisation. Mainstream media and news can often promote fear driven stories that exploit facts which can do more harm than good. Often this can lead to feelings of vulnerability or anxiety. Try to limit exposure to check in when necessary instead of being connected frequently. You might limit this to online reading only or 30 minutes of exposure a day. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”TheThreeSeasPsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Psychiatrist vs Psychologist vs Counsellor?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-are-the-differences-between-psychologists-counsellors-psychiatrists/) **Published:** September 28, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## **Psychiatrist vs Psychologist vs Counsellor? Choosing the right type of help can be tricky.** Every day the news tells stories of people’s plight as they struggle to cope with the seemingly endless lockdown. The pandemic has created unprecedented social isolation, job insecurity and uncertainty about what the future might look like. Victoria aims to lift the restrictions on 26 October, by which time Melburnians will hold the world record for the most locked-down city; some 267 days. Such an extended and extensive period of disruption has consequences, one of which has been a large increase in the demand for mental health services. But choosing between a psychiatrist vs psychologist vs counsellor can sometimes be challenging. [The Black Dog Institute](https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/) and the Australian Bureau of Statistics report the pandemic has caused a surge in presentations for anxiety and depression. As a result, additional resources have been provided by the Federal Government to cope with the demand. Unfortunately, there is evidence to suggest that a lot of people do not know what services are available. A degree of confusion or misunderstanding about various mental health practitioners is commonplace, even among other health professionals. Most people would have an idea of what they think about the term’s counsellor, psychiatrist and psychologist. For example, they may believe a psychiatrist is a super-[competent psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) and a psychologist a super-competent counsellor. They would be wrong. And when the mental health of so many people is at stake, it is important an effort be made to rectify any misconceptions. With that in mind and an aim to facilitate those who seek help make an informed choice, outlined below is what is meant by terms such as [professional counsellor](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) , psychiatrist, and psychologist – where they overlap, where they differ, what they are qualified to do, what they are not qualified to do, their specific qualifications, and the like. **Psychologists in Melbourne:** - Provide counselling services to individuals and/or families as well as [relationship counselling services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). - Have completed a three-year undergraduate degree majoring in psychology + a fourth year of tertiary training. - Following the fourth year, there are a few pathways psychologists can take. They can complete a further 1-2 years of post-graduate education, and/or supervised practice. Psychologists may hold a Master’s or Doctoral degree if they have chosen this pathway. Alternatively, they can secure an internship for a period of 1-2 years, during which time they practice as a provisional psychologist. - Hold provisional, general or clinical registration with the ‘[Psychology Board of Australia](https://www.psychologyboard.gov.au/)’ (always look up the psychologist’s reference number to make sure they are registered). - Trained in the science of how people think, feel and behave. - Trained to help people become self-aware and understand their habits and triggers. - Special training to diagnose and assess people with mental health conditions such as; depression, anxiety, stress, ADHD, loss, phobias, family and relationships, habits and addictions or anything that makes someone feel that life is becoming too difficult. - Psychologists can choose to receive an area of endorsement, or specific supervised training, in the following areas: - Clinical Neuropsychology - Clinical Psychology - Community Psychology - Counselling Psychology - Educational and Developmental Psychology - Forensic Psychology - Health Psychology - Organisational Psychology - Sports & Exercise Psychology Psychologists use similar techniques to counsellors. However, they are trained to delve deeper and try to help the person uncover core issues of concern. There is often further confusion when we hear the term ‘Counselling Psychologist’. They are generalist psychologists first, then do further university training to specialise in counselling. **Counsellors in Mebourne**: - Accredited counsellors complete a course of study from The Australian Counselling Association, The Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia, a Graduate Counselling certificate, or a Graduate Diploma of counselling. - Trained to use a ‘person centred ‘approach. This means that they will listen to your concerns and form a plan with you to manage and improve your health and wellbeing. - Support people experiencing **mild to moderate** symptoms of mental illness and aim to help people with the day-to-day practical concerns of life. - It’s important to note that counselling is not a regulated industry. This means that anyone who completes a one-day online course can call themselves a ‘counsellor’. It’s important to check the qualifications of your prospective counsellor before making an appointment. The key difference between counsellors and psychologists is that psychologists are trained to assess and diagnose people with **mild to severe** mental health issues. **Psychiatrists in Melbourne**: - Have completed a medical degree, an internship for one year in a hospital setting, then trained with the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists (RANZCP). - Prescribe medication. - Admit people to hospital if necessary. - Trained to understand severe mental health issues. The main difference between psychiatrists and psychologists is that psychiatrists attend medical school and become doctors. They are trained to link mental and physical problems and prescribe medication. Both psychiatrists and psychologists understand how the brain works and can assist with various mental illnesses. Some psychiatrists will also use talk therapy. Studies have shown that the most important factor in a healthy and healing therapeutic relationship is the trust that develops between the client and practitioner. It’s important to find someone that you connect with, and that is qualified to meet your needs. At The Three Seas Psychology Melbourne, we have appointments available with provisional, general and clinical psychologists, as well as a counsellor and psychiatrist. The psychologists, therapists, counsellors and psychiatrist are available conveniently across our 4 Melbourne locations. Find a psychologist or counsellor near you. Feel free to call 98091000 and speak with our Client Connect Team to determine which service is relevant for you. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Little Reminders to Self-Care](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/little-reminders-to-self-care/) **Published:** October 15, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Little Reminders to Self-Care The term ‘self-care’ comes up quite a bit these days, and often in a context that promises to be good for you ‘if you do it’. The apparent absence of urgency means many people place it on their ‘will get to it later list’, and never follow through. That’s a pity. Self-care originally came to light as a medical concept as far back as the 1950’s, though has really caught on in the last five years via its adoption by mainstream health professionals. Swept along by the demands of everyday life, it is all too easy to lose perspective. Somehow molehills become mountains and mountains become molehills. The point of self-care is to ‘right-size’ the issues of daily life and regain perspective. Just as exercise more than makes up for the time it takes with increases in energy and alertness, appropriate self-care (which may or may not involve exercise), can enhance our ability to deal with the many things that come our way – big, small, and in between. The pandemic and the monotony of lockdown have taken a big emotional toll on many of us. A self-care routine established now can help with today’s tough times, and if maintained will continue to be of value in tomorrow’s better times. The good news is that self-care ought not be difficult. In fact, there is likely a strong relationship between simplicity and effectiveness. Simple little reminders or small wins that are possible for all of us to activate every day. The activity is not especially important; it is the positive impact the activity has on the individual. Something that does wonders for one person might be a disaster for another. The trick is to figure out what works for you, be true to your needs, and operate within your limits. We need to be able to care for ourselves before we can care for others. Research findings suggest that self-care helps restore personal balance and contributes to good health in all its forms – including physical, emotional, mental, financial, and spiritual. A choice to avoid self-care unnecessarily invites heightened stress levels, burnout, medical issues, and many forms of mental anguish. What does self-care mean to you? Once you establish a path to self-care, the journey itself will take twists and turns but the benefits are well worth it – it can be the difference between existing and actually living. **SIMPLE LITTLE SELF-CARE REMINDERS:** - Honour yourself - Rest - Take a moment to look up into the sky or stars - Admire a tree or a flower - Take a moment to prepare and enjoy a cup of tea with ease - Actively listen to your favourite music without any technical distractions - Switch off all electrical devices for a few hours or even a day - Walk barefoot on the grass - Prepare a meal and share it with a special friend - Smile **Remember: if you are not sure what to do, ask yourself: ‘What brings you ease and joy?’.** References: [https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/07/self-care?utm\_source=linkedin&utm\_medium=social&utm\_campaign=apa-monitor-pandemics&utm\_content=self-care-for-psychologists](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/07/self-care?utm_source=linkedin&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=apa-monitor-pandemics&utm_content=self-care-for-psychologists) [https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/04/feature-imperative-self-care?utm\_source=linkedin&utm\_medium=social&utm\_campaign=apa-monitor-careers&utm\_content=imperative-self-care](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/04/feature-imperative-self-care?utm_source=linkedin&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=apa-monitor-careers&utm_content=imperative-self-care) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Striving for happiness could be making you unhappy!](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/striving-for-happiness-could-be-making-you-unhappy/) **Published:** November 11, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Could striving for happiness be making you unhappy? A desire to be happy seems to be something all people share. The idea of happiness has had the attention of many fields of inquiry, from philosophers and theologians to social and behavioural scientists. The persuasive ideas of Aristotle linked happiness to a life of virtuous and moral behaviours. Modern day research is largely supportive of Aristotle. Studies reveal that happiness is a state of mind. We can decide to be happy – it’s our choice. Happiness is not contingent on some person, place or thing. Whilst it is true that how people experience the world is shaped by their particular environment, a privileged environment does not guarantee happiness just as the opposite does not mandate misery. As [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) William James said, “The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.” Two sources of happiness Happiness can be an external or internal creation. When triggered by something or someone external, happiness is usually short-lived. When cultivated internally, by leading a life consistent with inner beliefs and values, happiness can be enduring. There is nothing inherently wrong with external sources of happiness, unless or until they become the only source of happiness for which we strive. A lot of people, myself included at times, seem to behave as if they will be happy when this person does this or that, or if this or that were to happen at home, or at work. This type of contingent happiness may or may not happen. If it does, it’s unlikely to last long, and will then need to be replaced. People can find themselves in a continuous search for the next ‘happiness hit’. Caught in this sort of happiness-seeking loop, people become despondent and can even feel a sense of shame or guilt for not being in the same permanent state of bliss they falsely perceive they see in others. As a state of mind, happiness cannot be forced, nor found; or lost for that matter. Happiness is much more than being in a good mood; it is a state of wellness that encompasses living a decent life in accordance with moral values, a sense of meaning and of purpose. Strategies to promote happiness The one thing that has been consistently associated with happiness is love, in all its forms. Behaviours that are less self-centred and more other-centred create and strengthen intimate bonds with others that protect us from hardships, delay mental and physical decline and promote long-term happiness. Give it away to keep it. Happiness can be as simple, or as tricky, as becoming more mindful by sitting still and focusing on your breath. Research shows meditation practice can help switch brain activity from the right side, which has been linked to depression, anxiety, and worry; to the left side, which has been related to happiness, excitement, joy and alertness. Further, recent advances in neuroscience have found the brain has a degree of plasticity, that is, an ability to regenerate and change. Not only can meditation redirect the attention of the brain, it can also enhance its overall capacity. One investigation conducted on a French monk, Matthieu Richard, found that whilst in the process of a ‘loving-kindness’ meditation, his brain recorded its largest capacity for happiness. Give meditation a go! One seemingly simple behaviour to foster happiness is to replace a frown with a smile; or as the saying goes, turn that frown upside down! It may sound silly, but there is a lot of evidence that links smiling and an elevated mood. That doesn’t mean substitute a frown with a fake insincere forced grin. What it’s really getting at is those who make an effort to behave in a less negative fashion, and so are less inclined to frown, will smile more often and generally feel more content. You can go a long way with an attitude of gratitude. Keep smiling References: Kane, S. (2017). 15 ways to increase your happiness. *Psych Central*. Retrieved from . Ruhl, C. (2020, Sept 28). William James biography and contributions to psychology. *Simply Psychology*. www.simplypsychology.org/William-james.html The Pursuit of Happiness (2018) Aristotle. Retrieved from . pursuit of happiness.org/history-of-happiness/aristotle ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Personal boundaries – simple but not easy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/personal-boundaries-simple-but-not-easy/) **Published:** November 23, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Our lives are made up of a host of different relationships. We have relationships with our partner, children, parents, friends, work colleagues, amongst others. If you are anything like me then these relationships, to a large extent at least, appear to pretty much maintain themselves on some sort of autopilot, until that is, something goes wrong. When that happens, we can become confused. A disturbance or rupture in a relationship, whether it be an argument, disappointment, frustration, irritation or whatever, can often be traced back to an absence of well-defined boundaries. The purpose of boundaries is to signal to others the types of behaviours that are acceptable, desirable, appreciated, and their opposite. **An absence of boundaries** Boundaries are an abstract idea, and therefore invisible. They need to be communicated in order for others to become aware. People are not mind readers. Unless we are told, we are just guessing how others want to be treated. Similarly, if we are silent, we force others to guess or assume about us. Healthy boundaries serve everyone – we get to be treated as we would wish, and we can be confident in our behaviours towards others. Boundaries are a foundation of [healthy relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). Without them, dysfunction can easily creep in. We might agree to do something we don’t want to do, or think is unreasonable; or we may disagree with an idea or course of action but say nothing and go along with it. We probably just want to keep the peace and avoid conflict. Later on though, an unrelated and seemingly innocuous incident can trigger a mini, or perhaps not so mini, explosion. **Setting boundaries** “Just set your boundaries”. Sounds pretty straightforward. It can be, though usually involves quite a bit of thought, what is often referred to as introspection. What do I value? What do I believe? What do I like? What types of things are okay? When we do this, we quickly discover we find it easier to answer these questions in the negative, and struggle to articulate what we want, rather than what we don’t want or like. Boundaries are abstract psychological lines that serve as signals between people that indicate what is desirable and what is not. Boundaries are broadcast through behaviour and perceived through attention. They are a two-way street; whilst they may not be symmetrical, they ought to be reciprocal. **Simple, not easy** Once an idea of boundaries has been developed, the hard part starts – sticking to them. Sticking to boundaries under stressful conditions can be quite a challenge. We tell ourselves it would be so much easier to go back to what we used to do. This can especially be compelling for someone who does not like to offend, who dislikes conflict and wants to keep the peace and it would be easier to regress to old habits, but only in the short run. Boundaries take some courage to define and a deal more to implement. As is so often the case with anything worthwhile, perseverance and flexibility are needed, because the process will have its downs and ups. There is nothing easy in pulling up someone about something they have done or said many times before. Others might well be surprised and perhaps confused by our new behaviours. We might not be taken seriously at first, which might cause us to regress. Or we might overstate our newfound boundaries and come across as uncompromising or even rude. In all likelihood, these and more will happen. In fact, they would probably happen if we were to set boundaries for a single relationship in our lives, let alone all the different relationships and contexts in which we find ourselves and are required to navigate. Boundaries can be a great help. At their core, boundaries are all about signalling to others how we wish to be treated and paying attention to similar signals from them about their wishes. At The Three Seas, we provide a range of[ counseling services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) with [trained psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). Browse our services today or contact us for more information. Dr Dana Nelson (2016). *Self-Care 101: Setting Healthy Boundaries.* Inner Journeys Counselling. . Medically reviewed by Bethany Juby, PsyD, Written by Leah Campbell (2021). *Why Personal Boundaries are Important and How to Set Them*. PsychCentral. . ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Personal Resilience](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/personal-resilience/) **Published:** December 7, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Personal resilience is not only powerful, it’s empowering! Many of us are naturally resilient but the exciting news is that it can be learnt! The American Psychological Association (2021) defines personal resilience as *“the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress*”. George Bonnano (2004), Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University described resilience as “*the capacity to continue to move forward in the face of difficulty”*. Whether it is the APA’s “adapting” or Bonnano’s “to move forward” – resilience is much more than bouncing back, it’s about harnessing adversity to acquire knowledge and skills to ‘bounce forward’. The ability to bounce forward and grow from adversity is the hallmark of resilient individuals. Resilience is not a coping but a learning construct. Instead of falling in a heap or hiding from life’s inevitable difficulties via a stream of unhealthy non-coping strategies, resilient people face them head on. It’s not that they experience less grief, pain or loss; they don’t. To be resilient means to replace the common either/or mentality with one of both/and. Flexibility of thought allows those who are resilient to harness the inherent energy in difficult situations to forge a path forward. There are six characteristics that resilient individuals typically exhibit: 1. Emotion regulation. The ability to stay calm under pressure. Emotions are kept in check and attention is paid to behaviour. Resilient people rarely let their desires get ahead of their rational mind when faced with a difficult situation. 2. Optimism. A belief that things will turn around. An ability to minimise subjectivity in the assessment of situations. Resilient people do not assume the worst and then extrapolate that out forever. 3. Causal Analysis. The explanatory style used to explain good and bad things. An ability to usefully identify the causes of problems, as well as successes, so as to not repeat the same mistakes. Usually coded on the three dimensions of personal (me/not me), permanent (always/not always), and pervasive (everything/not everything) ways of thinking. 4. Self-efficacy. A belief in one’s ability to be effective. Replace why me with why not me. 5. Empathy. The ability to notice the cues of others as to their psychological as well as emotional states. Although arguably less teachable than the other characteristics, people can still learn techniques to improve how they read people and situations. 6. Reaching out. Linked with self-efficacy, resilient people are comfortable asking for help. They do not see it as a sign of weakness. In fact, the opposite would probably be more accurate. So, all these can to some extent be developed if people are invested, motivated and tenacious. Some strategies for resilient living: \*Learn to take responsibility because we are all responsible for our actions. \*Seek to serve or help others-we can improve the quality of life around us. \*Practice daily gratitude. People who practice genuine gratitude do not take things for granted and have the inner knowing that even though they are going through difficulties all will be well. We learn not to be grateful not for tragic events but for our response to them. \*Failure is to be embraced NOT feared -it’s a prerequisite for success. It teaches us how to struggle with adversity and how to move forward with courage and understanding. \**The cup is half full not empty.* Reframing is an important skill for resilience. It is the ability to focus on what is right, useful, and beneficial. \*Capabilities that undertake resilience can be strengthened at any age. Age-appropriate activities that have huge health benefits can improve resilience. For example – regular physical exercise, stress reduction practices, programs that actively build executive function and self-regulation skills. \*Spend time laughing We can recover our resilience and eventually ‘bounce back’ with greater strength and courage, ready to handle future stress and hardship. At The Three Seas, we provide a range of[ counseling services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) with [trained psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). Browse our services today or contact us for more information. Bonanno, G. A. (2004). Loss, Trauma, and Human Resilience: Have We Understood the Human Capacity to Thrive After Extremely Aversive Events? *American Psychologist*, 59(1), 20-28. What is Emotional Resilience and How to build it? (2021, November 25). *Positive Psychology* http://positivepsychology.com>emotional Ackerman, C. (2021, November 25), *What is Resilience and Why is It Important to Bounce Back*. https//positivepsychology.com/what-is-resilience/ ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas Stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/its-beginning-to-feel-a-lot-like-christmas-stress/) **Published:** December 24, 2021 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Christmas is an opportunity to demonstrate true love and compassion to ourselves, our families, friends, and community but in truth why do we end up feeling so stressed? Christmas for many of us can be a magical time of the year. We connect with our precious loved ones and share family traditions. It is a time to reflect and remember the good times and the hard times. Unfortunately, the reality is that Christmas can be a very stressful time. I remember when the children were infants, I was so excited and determined to create what I thought was the ‘perfect’ Christmas. The entire extended family was invited for Christmas lunch. I had it all planed. My partner at the time oversaw the purchase of the Christmas tree. As soon as I saw it, I was so disappointed and started to stress because it didn’t reach the height of the ceiling. To this day, 27 years later, I still cannot believe my reaction! Upon reflection, it is amazing how something so trivial managed to stress me and the rest of the family. We still purchase a huge tree and I still find myself heightened around Christmas. However, these days I am more aware that this reaction and under my breath I find myself saying, ‘this day too shall pass’! There are many studies that indicate that Christmas seems to decrease our emotional well-being because of the pressure society places on individuals to strive for the ‘perfect Christmas day’. How many of us get caught up with the preparations and find that the list gets longer, we run out of time and money and the pressures start? We begin to panic. Remember, the ‘perfect Christmas’ is a myth. Unfortunately, humans seem to be wired in a way that we forget the stress and exhaustion we went through last Christmas and we expect that this Christmas will be better! We underestimate (or forget) how much time and effort it takes, and why we find ourselves physically, emotionally, and financially exhausted on the day. If we take a moment, we can choose to use the occasion to practice living in the moment and become aware of how we manage our expectations. Covid has also heightened our Christmas stress levels. This year we can add the travails of the past two years to the list. The threat of the Omicron variant does not help, and we may find some people we see during this festive period to have been quite impacted by the past two years. Loss, grief, separation, loneliness, isolation, toxic family members, financial stress are contributing variables that heighten our stress. There is no doubt that we have all been in challenging times and stress is unavoidable. Below are simple actions we may choose to spread some Christmas magic: – How can all family members contribute to Christmas preparations? – If the idea of gift giving is too stressful then communicate with all family members and work out the best strategy for your family. – If you are starting to feel overwhelmed, take a moment and ask yourself the question ‘what am I doing and am I okay doing it’. – How can I foster compassion (when we wish the very best for someone) and love amongst our loved ones this Christmas and beyond? – How can I show grace, gratitude, and kindness to my family members? – How can I choose to improve someone’s situation and bring them joy? Think of simple little things you can do to gift yourself and your families the magical spark of Christmas and reduce the stress. Happy happy Christmas to all… Mutz, M. (2015) Christmas and Subjective Well-Being: A Research Note. *Applied Research Quality Life* 11, 1341-1356. . Put Christmas Anxiety in its Place. (2017, December 14). *Guidelight Psychology.* . Social Isolation at Christmas Time. (2019, Jan 24). *Relationships Australia.* . ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [New Year’s Resolutions and Loosening the ‘Shoulds'](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/new-years-resolutions-and-loosening-the-shoulds/) **Published:** January 18, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** #### ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ – and loosening the ‘shoulds’ ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ – and loosening the ‘Shoulds’…When I was a child, I remember a lot of fuss and preparation was made by my mother leading up to New Year’s Eve. It was a tradition from the old country (Greece), whereby she bought her children new clothes, all house chores had to be completed, dinner and special cake prepared -all before 9pm on New Year’s Eve! The aim to all this fuss (as I found out many years later) was simple, it reminded the individual and the collective that a new year is approaching therefore another opportunity to let go of old habits, let go of all wrongs and start afresh! My parents literally came to this country with absolutely nothing and yet they never stopped believing that ‘tomorrow will be a better day’! There is something powerful about the human will and the realization that life’s most essential impulse is to grow, to evolve, to become. We do not simply have the instinct to just survive but also the longing to become something new and more whole. New Year’s Resolutions has been a practice dating as far back in Babylonian times over 4,000 years ago. The practice in those days was to remember to please the gods however today the focus is on the individual and self-improvement. Today we tend to focus on resolutions that are generic, such as finding a work-life balance, more exercise, healthy eating and so on. #### What does the Research Say? [Richard Wiseman a British Psychologist](https://richardwiseman.wordpress.com/) has shown in his research that 88%of all new year resolutions end in failure. The reason for this is that we place too much expectation around that time of the year and that our resolutions are not personally salient and meaningful which leads to a decrease in motivation and willpower. This being the case, perhaps this may be an opportunity to approach new year’s resolutions differently. Instead of aiming for the ‘should’ goals, we may ask ourselves ‘why’ we prefer these goals. Being aware of why we set goals may lead us closer to our truth which brings us closer to a meaningful resolve. Goals that align with our values are meaningful therefore we are more likely to stick to them. Neuroscientists have also recently discovered that new year’s resolutions are doomed to fail not because our willpower is lacking but that our prefrontal cortex is overloaded! The prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain that is responsible for abstract thinking and analysing behaviour. It controls a lot of who we are. In other words, our brains are tiered and simply cannot cope with more demands. This is so evident now as we navigate the never-ending challenges of the pandemic. #### So, what can we do? If our overloaded brain cannot support personal change then understanding ‘why’ may help us. Research informs us that by simplifying things we create space in our brain to cope. This mindset allows us to be flexible and open to change. When our mind is calm, we can think clearly. Forced into home isolation this New Year’s Eve due to Covid (my twenty-year-old daughter tested positive two days after Christmas) I observed within myself a feeling of hope, a mystical energy that made me feel that a better future is possible. I found comfort tidying up and preparing to welcome the new year as my mother does and generations before her did. There is something positive drawing on tradition in difficult circumstances. I found it took me away from being self-focused and by doing I was able to create space to calm the mind and accept what is. My daily practice of general reflection, contemplation, and self-examination is also a tool I have cultivated for many years which I found very helpful. There is always improvement to be made. We can start with easing off on the ‘shoulds’ in our life. Remember that very small, slow changes, will eventually bring about cumulative impact. With a little focused [intention](https://thethreeseas.com.au/nick-bonner-on-schema-therapy/) , long-term persistence, kindness to yourself and enjoyment, every day can bring about a meaningful resolve. At The Three Seas, we provide a range of[ counseling services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) with [trained psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). Browse our services today or [contact us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) for more information. **References** https://medium.com/@profbillyoconnor/blame-it-on-the-brain-why-breaking-new-years-resolutions-is-all-in-the-mind-ee4fe283f680 https://www.davidsonwp.com/blog/2014/12/the-neuroscience-behind-new-years-resolutions [wpdevart_like_box profile_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover_photo=”show” locale=”en_US”] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Social Anxiety is normal after self-isolation!](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/social-anxiety-is-normal-after-self-isolation/) **Published:** February 3, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** We have all been affected by the pandemic, and the latest covid variant -Omicron, has taken us all by surprise. Once again most of us have been forced into self-isolation, due to its highly contagious nature. In the last two months every aspect of our society both in Australia and the world, once again has been disrupted. As we are ‘learning’ to adapt to this new variant many of us are also finding it challenging to move outside of our homes, socially connect again and dealing with social anxiety. I was invited to the tennis grand finale for free and I was so excited. Finally, a social outing! However, that didn’t last long because I found myself beginning to worry about connecting with my friend and the idea of interacting with thousands of other people at the venue. Was it too soon to be out and about -there are so many cases – I’m immune compromised maybe it’s best I stay home! All sorts of issues started to pop into my head, and it made me feel anxious. Thank goodness the thoughts and feelings didn’t last! It is very normal to sometimes feel anxious especially in the context of the pandemic. It is not normal on the other hand to spend so many weeks isolated from loved ones and our community. If you experience social fear that is constant, or find yourself avoiding social situations, thoughts and behaviours that disrupt daily living then this may be an opportunity to chat to your GP or a [therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) to support you. Unfortunately, we are seeing a rise in social anxiety disorders manifest in adults and [children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-in-children/) due to the pandemic. It has also increased in prevalence in those individuals with a pre-existing social anxiety diagnosis. Social anxiety disorder is defined as an intense constant fear humiliation or embarrassment in a social setting. There are physical symptoms (rapid heart rate, difficulty breathing, trembling, shaking, blushing) and psychological symptoms (feeling panic before a social interaction, avoid social situations, missing work, or school). Many people are aware that their fears are unreasonable, and that the social anxiety is having a negative impact on their daily lives. It affects different aspects of a person’s life such as social activities, relationships, work performance and academic functioning. It is important to remind ourselves that it is normal to feel socially anxious especially when remerging from self – isolation. Research tells us that despite socializing less many people are stressing more about social connections. Many of us have adapted to spending a lot of time isolated at home and the thought of preparing to go back to the office or school may be daunting for many of us. I had to self-isolate a few weeks ago because my daughter tested positive! When I needed to go food shopping after eight days of being inside the house, I felt very apprehensive. Finding myself sanitising everything and keeping my distance from people. Adapting in this new way of living is a process therefore it will take time. If you are experiencing social anxiety whether mild of severe, please be kind to yourself. The good news is that the outlook is positive and there is excellent treatment for anyone seeking help. A few useful tools that may help keep fears under control. \*become familiar with triggers that make you feel nervous or out of control \*practice relaxation and breathing techniques \*meditation, or yoga References Hur J. (2020) Social Context and the Real -World Consequences of Social Anxiety. Journal Of Personality and Social Psychology,71, 796-809. Hoffman Y, Grossman E, BergmanY, Bodner E. (2021) The Link Between Social Anxiety and Intimate Loneliness is Stronger for Older Adults Than for Younger Adults. Aging Mental Health, 25(7),1246-1253 \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Is your relationship in decline?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/is-your-relationship-in-decline/) **Published:** March 2, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Is your relationship in decline? Most of us seek out a meaningful connection with another human-being. Many want to feel that special spark with someone and live the ‘happy ever after’. It is normal to experience bliss in the beginning of a new relationship but for many, reality hits and relationship satisfaction starts to plummet. You may be wondering if you need couples counselling? Read on… Every relationship will experience conflict but the great news is that this process can be an opportunity for personal development. This may sound counterintuitive but conflict can also help strengthen the relationship! Research indicates that marital conflict falls into two categories, a) issues that can be resolved or b) issues that will be part of your life for ever. Most marital conflict is perpetual. [Couples therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) may give partners the opportunity to improve how they communicate; however, both need to be committed and motivated in order to bring about change. Couples therapy also provides education and tools for couples to further navigate healthy relationships, including how to handle conflict, secure their bond and have vulnerable conversations without pushing the other person away. I had my first ‘couples therapy’ workshop last week as part of my professional development and was surprised when I heard the definition of what constitutes a relationship: ‘A relationship is satisfied when the following needs are met; empathy, intimacy and safety’. All three must be present otherwise you are not in a relationship. Couples [therapists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) may use road maps to explain the complex nature of relationships to clients. Research suggests that there are 6 stages couples go through in long-term relationships. However, not all couples will have the same experience or sequence. ### Stages of a Relationship In the beginning of a new relationship there is an initial meeting and attraction. It is a romantic love that ‘seems to be’. The second stage is when things suddenly become ‘real’. This is an important stage because adjusting to reality is where the ‘real’ relationship begins. In the third stage there is the power struggle where the both partners dig their heels and stand their ground – doubts creep in! The fourth stage is the re-evaluation stage. This is where the question of whether to go or stay arises. The couple may disengage. You may start noticing some differences or flaws. The fifth stage is the reconciliation stage. The couple may begin to change their mindset and accept that conflicts will exist in relationships and that there will be differences. They also may realise that these conflicts and differences may be viewed as an opportunity for personal development. The couple commits to each other. The final stage is that of acceptance – very few couples arrive at this stage! Each person has come to understand that they must take responsibility for their lives. Couples recognise that both partners are working to be present and meet each other’s physical and emotional needs in appropriate and meaningful ways. Other approaches couple therapists use include thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and research -based interventions. Once the therapeutic framework is established the couple decide on the frequency and duration of appointments. If your relationship is in decline or feels unhealthy, please feel free to contact us at The Three Seas Group. We have experienced Relationship Therapists who aim to help couples build stronger relationships and healthy ways to cope with issues. We have a variety of therapist, part of the Three Seas Team, who specialise in couples counselling. **References** 6 crucial stages to gauge if your relationship will last, according to experts. (2021, December 10) The Secret to love is just kindness. (2014, June 12) www.theraputic.com \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** couples counselling, psychologist near me, relationship counselling --- ### [Passive or passive- aggressive?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/passive-or-passive-aggressive/) **Published:** March 31, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Have you ever been confronted by a friend, co-worker or even a romantic partner who regularly engages in passive-aggression?We have all experienced negative feelings towards someone. While many of us have no hesitation with openly and directly expressing how we really feel, there may be times we may find it difficult to open up about [feelings of anger](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/), frustration or disappointment. However, by avoiding expression of these feelings directly to the person involved, we may cause them and ourselves a lot of harm. Behaviours that involve acting aggressive indirectly rather than directly are called passive-aggressive. Being assertive and emotionally open is not always easy. When standing up for yourself is difficult, passive -aggressive behaviour may seem like the easier option, Passive-aggressive people regularly exhibit resistance to requests or demands. People who are passive-aggressive make others feel uneasy because we are never quite sure about how that person really feels. Someone who engages in passive-aggressive behaviour may appear to agree but then fail to do what they have agreed on. Rather than complying with the request they may for example express anger or resentment by failing to follow through, being late, or missing deadlines. Some more signs of passive-aggressive behaviour: - Avoidance of direct and clear communication - Lack of cooperation, procrastination, or forgetting about things that you’d rather not do - Cynical, hostile attitude or stubborn attitude - Avoidance of problems and leaving things undone - Frequently complaining about feeling underappreciated - A tendency to pout, sulk or give people the silent-treatment - Habit of blaming others for problems - Fear of intimacy and competition - Hiding anger - Running late (this behaviour is occasionally deliberate, more commonly unconscious and always infuriating) - Silence Research suggests that there is no one cause for passive-aggressive behaviour, but there is a general view that it is a learned behavioural pattern that begins in childhood. As a young person if you were not allowed to challenge your caregivers, especially if you felt the rules to be harsh or unjust then, passive-aggressive behaviour may have offered the opportunity to obey while still resisting. If there was experience of abuse, neglect or rejection from family members or romantic partners in adulthood you learn the importance of keeping people happy to protect yourself. This can leave you with a habit of accommodating others by going along with whatever they suggest. However, what happens when you disagree with their suggestion and avoid asserting your needs is that you may find yourself expressing your frustrations indirectly such as through negative mood, anger and or irritability. Passive-aggressive behaviour is destructive and can interfere with relationships and cause difficulties at work. A person may want to avoid conflict but passive aggressive behaviours guarantee to provoke one. Chances are that we all have responded passive- aggressively at some point, and becoming aware of this negative behaviour can improve our relationship with ourself and with others. If you feel passive -aggressive behaviour is interfering with your relationships, [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) may help you manage emotions positively and productively. Reference: How to Recognize Passive-Aggressive Behaviour, (20 August 2020), https://www.heathline.com>health Passive-aggressive behaviour: Examples, definition, and more – Medical News Today, ( 14 May 2022), https://www.medicalnewstoday.com>… ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Nick Bonner on Schema Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/nick-bonner-on-schema-therapy/) **Published:** April 14, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ***Interview with Nick Bonner on all things Schema Therapy & more*** By Will Sutherland Key Points: - The importance of promoting client-autonomy - Utilising imagery and experiential techniques through Schema Therapy - The solitary nature of being a psychologist Nick is a [general psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) at The Three Seas Psychology in Richmond and Northcote. He works primarily with [Schema Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/salus-approach-relationship-therapy-couples/) and CBT and is working towards integrating EMDR into his practice. Nick also enjoys playing basketball and supports the Utah Jazz in the NBA. Will Sutherland (Interviewer) Thanks again for agreeing to do this. We haven’t pre-prepared for this interview, I think that’s good. Nick Bonner (Psychologist) Yeah, going in cold and not so staged. WS Okay, so the first question is, what are the sort of values that are important to you in your practice of psychology? NB I think probably the real core value is trying to promote client autonomy. So, allowing clients to have the flexibility to redirect things if things aren’t working for them. Also, trying to be very attuned to their own unique needs when it comes to [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). I try to roll with it even if there’s a part of me that might not agree with something. If that’s somewhere they want to go, I’ll try to just indulge that and let them guide the journey a little bit. So, I’d say promoting client autonomy is probably key. Then I think the other would be trying to be as authentic as possible about your experience with them. So, if you feel moved by something they’re saying, let them know. Try to cultivate a relationship with some level of self-disclosure. WS Do you think that ties into motivational interviewing and trying to discover their reasons for being there, too? NB Yeah, I think it does tie in with the kind of motivational interviewing approach, although I don’t tend to use it that frequently these days. Sometimes if you feel stuck as a therapist, I think it’s good just to sit back and drop all your therapy modes. Instead try to closely attend to what the client thinks is happening for them. And share your own experience of what you think’s happening with them. WS Could you talk about the development of different techniques over time in your practice? NB Yeah. So, I think the first love was always schema therapy. At uni, I remember the point when we started to come to schema therapy. That just felt like a real lightbulb, eye opening moment. I always felt a bit uncomfortable about purely working with thought alone. I always thought that that was a bit reductionist and overly sort of simplistic. And I think the schema therapy model made a hell of a lot more sense to me. It was a lot more holistic. It acknowledges the role that early life experience plays in clients later presenting issues. It’s just more of an integrative kind of therapy. The techniques that really appeal to me are probably more of the experiential techniques within schema therapy. I find they’re the ones that are often quite powerful for clients at driving change. So, I might use the Empty Chair Technique that schema has borrowed from Gestalt therapy, or imagery rescripting, which deals with these adverse early life experiences. They’re probably the techniques that have always been fascinating. WS And that probably also comes across to the client as well, that this is a technique that you’re passionate about. That probably brings that energy into the room as well. NB Yeah, definitely. I think clients can grasp it. They’ll say ‘I know these thoughts I’m having aren’t true. I don’t believe them but, I can’t help but feel that they’re true.’ Schema helps them understand that it’s these early life experiences and these memories that are still part of the problem for them. And they need to have a different experience from what they once had. I think they grasp that quite well. Often, they find the imagery and rescripting techniques quite helpful and powerful. When purely cognitive based therapy hasn’t been enough. WS Obviously, most jobs in the world, you’ve got co-workers working with you in the same room. Do you find that challenging being the only one in the working position, when practicing? NB 100%. Yeah. I think that’s one of the big challenges for any kind of health related, private practice. How do you attain support when needed? I think that’s particularly challenging after a difficult session. Luckily, I’m quite an introverted person. So, I probably can cope with that quite well. But I imagine if I was even 30% more extroverted, I’d probably really struggle with it. And there are still times where I might struggle with that a little bit. But I think that’s where the importance of supervision comes in. Even just little chats with people out in the hallway can help. Those little things matter. But it’s definitely a challenge. WS I heard this story about Bono from U2, that after they had been on tour for months, the first week or two after Bono’s wife has to keep telling him to get down off the dinner table, metaphorically. Because he’s still acting like he’s in front of thousands of people. Is there an equivalent for yourself in that? Are there times when you have to shift out of, I guess, the Psychologist Mindset when you’re talking with friends or even with your family? NB I’ve never really had a problem with that. I’ve always felt like none of your friends want you to be their psychologist and I don’t want to be theirs. So I feel like I’m pretty good with that boundary. There might be times when you’re, you know, something’s happening with a friend where you might sort of start indulging in some formulation. I actually find at the end of a workday I tend to want to listen to something that’s just completely unrelated to psychology. You know, so just podcasts on the way home. WS What led to your interest in working with childhood trauma and treating children and adolescents? NB Well, I don’t regularly treat kids and adolescents anymore. So, I’m probably much more interested in working with adults these days. But having said that, I think early childhood experiences are just so profoundly impactful. If you can understand that then you get a much better grasp of the client that’s in front of you. And it helps reduce any kind of judgement that you might have about the client. I think that’s one of the good things about psychology in general, is it helps make you a far less judgmental person. Because you have a much greater sense of empathy about how our clients had to learn to cope and adapt with the challenges in their daily life experience in their family or in their schooling life or whatnot. So yeah, I just think that more and more I’ve been attracted to therapy approaches that put childhood experience at the absolute core of the focus. I’m not sure if that answers the question. I just feel like, if you don’t understand that early childhood experience, I just don’t think you’re as well equipped to help a client with their presenting issues in the present. So it’s extremely important. WS What’s the strangest metaphor or example you’ve given to a client that you probably would never find in a psychology textbook, but has been effective? NB Yeah, that’s a good question. I’m probably not particularly novel about creating metaphors. I love it when a client develops their own metaphor and describes their experience. And I tend to just roll with that. And I find that that’s often really useful. Not only is it useful for helping understand their experience, but also as part of the change process. So, if you’re working with a metaphor that’s quite visual then it’s easier to get them to reimagine that. If you were in a more positive place, how might the actual metaphor change? How differently would it look? Yeah, I love it when clients come up with their own metaphors, but I’m probably not particularly creative at coming up with my own. But it’s a good question. For some reason, I always tend to just default to the ocean because I feel like it represents how varied life can be. How you might think that you’re on smooth seas and all of a sudden it changes or there’s something really horrible like a tsunami. WS Yeah. It’s a pretty universal image as well. NB Yeah, I think you can often adapt, like the conditions in the ocean to something that they utilise. I don’t I have anything particularly creative ones. I wish I was more creative. WS It sounds like a lot of the techniques that you use take people away from the purely thinking about something and potentially overthinking about it. Do you think that’d be a fair statement? NB Absolutely. Yeah, I think the core focus is what childhood needs weren’t sufficiently met for you. And how do we go about getting them met now. So that that can also mean reimagining their experience in their youth in a direction that’s far healthier for them. It also means looking at their relationships today, looking at the patterns of their behaviour and thinking is this helping you get that need met. Or is it counterproductive? I think that experience, from a behavioural focus, is particularly powerful. It not only means that clients can think in healthy ways, but they might actually believe it as well. So you might know that you’re not alone in the world but you might feel immensely lonely. These techniques help you actually feel like you’re connected and you’re bonded and not alone. That’s why they’re so damn integral as a successful change variable. WS What is your greatest achievement in basketball? NB I’m known in my team for being scared to take a shot. Perhaps that has something to do with my own schemas. And I’m a pretty cautious person temperamentally. So, for me, just to take the final shot in a game is, personally, a big achievement. I’d rather be trying to create a better shot for someone rather than to take it myself. And I’m not a particularly strong shooter, anyway. The other standout memory was being 15 and hitting a baseline fadeaway to win the game. Then probably the other one would be just as a kid when you throw up those full court shots. A bit of a tick tock moment, though we didn’t have that back then. WS Do you think there’s any room for basketball metaphors in schema or in psychology in general? NB The only time I’ve used anything to do with basketball and therapy would be more as a way of trying to bond with the client. So, we know that the therapeutic alliance is just integral to the change that you get in therapy. I think it’s sometimes underappreciated that the bonding part is actually really, really important. So when a client first walks in the door I want to think about ‘how close do I feel with this client?’ and ‘what could be some way of getting closer?’ So, if there’s any overlapping interests, maybe at the very end of the session I might have a very brief sort of touch point with the client about their interest just to basically say ‘hey, I’m interested in getting closer to you.’ That sense of bond is really important to allow them to feel vulnerable. Having said that, you have to be mindful about how much of your own personal life you share with the client. So, if you find yourself talking too much about yourself in the session, that’s a huge red flag and you should definitely be pulling back from that. I think with the right intentions and when you follow through it’s okay to share a little bit of yourself with the client. WS And as you mentioned before, it might be something to do at the end of the session. Do you think especially if it’s been a challenging session or you’ve had to challenge them a lot during the session, it’s kind of a nice way to come back to the connection before leaving? NB Yeah. 100%. I think that’s a pretty valid point. Letting go of some of the difficult stuff and being back in the present with them, with something that connects. WS I think we’ve also revealed the fact that what I want more than anything else is a basketball metaphor for psychotherapy. NB Maybe by the end of this discussion we can come up with something. WS I was thinking maybe Cross-Court Violation. Like going back on old habits is a violation, or something. NB Yeah, I’m think people often use sporting metaphors in the business world more than anywhere else. It’s hard to know how you could apply it. Actually, one that’s just come to me that I do use is when I’m talking about a client’s internal critical voice. I might say, look, it’s like you’ve got a bad coach, stuck in your head, you know? Then I might use the example of a good coach. I might actually draw upon personal experiences of less optimum coaches, and really helpful coaches. I’ll try and show the difference and how a good coach can still drive you. But they do so in a way that really gets the best out of you and still allows you to feel safe and accept who you are. So that’s probably the closest. WS I feel like that’s such an easily accessible image, that you wouldn’t have to think too hard to invoke. So, again, coming back to that notion of finding an alternative to purely cognitive and a cognitive spiral towards imagery. NB Totally. It’s the tone of the coach’s voice and it’s how the coach makes you feel. It’s not just the content, it’s the whole experience of this coach. If you can be aware of when the bad coach is there in their mind and separate from that, or try to cultivate this other good coach, it will get you where you need to go a lot better. Being stressed and afraid from the bad coach will never help you perform as well. So, that’s pretty easy to understand. WS Do you think as well, with that metaphor, a good coach could still be quite direct and direct tough love without being critical. So, I guess the question is, is it also that it allows for not such black and white thinking of this as a good thought or a bad thought? NB Absolutely. That there’s room to use less punitive, less demanding language. Instead using a more compassionate kind of tone when talking about those things. And certainly breaking it down from any black and white kind of rigidity, into a much more nuanced, grey, balanced place, which is always healthier. WS And the final question is, how does it feel to be on the receiving end of questions in this room for a change. NB Yeah, I think it’s going well. I mean, I’m not particularly used to talking about myself. Maybe that’s why we become therapists. Even in my intimate friendships, I’m not generally the one to start talking about my own experiences. So, if I’m honest, there’s a slight discomfort about that. But in another way, it’s quite refreshing. ![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/image-1024x575.png) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [R U not OK being not OK? Because that's OK!](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/r-u-not-ok-being-not-ok-because-thats-ok/) **Published:** April 26, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** *Why it’s important to be compassionate towards our hesitations and resistance to mental health treatment.* So, you’re thinking about going to therapy. Congratulations! And for some people that will be that. Their next phone call will be to a [psychology clinic](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) or to their cousin’s best friend, whose sister saw *that person* one time for *that thing*. ## Stigma of Seeing a Psychologist But for others, going from thinking about seeing a mental health professional to taking the next step can feel impossible. It can seem like an acceptable thing for others but not for you. It can feel so contrary to your personality that it seems ridiculous. And in the current period of increased awareness and publicly stated acceptance of mental health treatment, that can be a problem. It can all too easily feel like all Australians, except you, are totally at ease with [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/). However, stigma and barriers towards mental health treatment are complex and different for all of us. A myriad of factors are at play; from culture to country and gender to generation1. It is possible that it will always be that way. I wonder if attempting complete elimination of mental health stigma is feasible or even helpful. Perhaps initiatives like RUOK day will only ever ease these challenges. I think the final word on Mental Health treatment should be; do what *you* have to do to get *yourself* in the door. ## Reasons for Attending Therapy It may take more effort, patience and self-compassion than you would like to give. It may take longer for someone you love to get into therapy than it did for you. That’s okay. Some people need many, many reasons to get in the door and others need time. Some may wait for a huge life event to occur, some may feel a slow, subtle build over many years. You might need to open more than one door before you find the right room for you. Of course, some will need to read the article *Ten Reasons Why Ricky Martin Went to Therapy,* before they reflect on their own *La Vida Loca* (Crazy Life). Personally, for me, it took a 70+ year old New York acting teacher screaming ‘If you’re in this class you need to be in therapy’. A cliché I know, but one I’m grateful for. ## Resistance to Therapy If you do need any of these things and more, you are not alone. A 2020 Study showed that 3 in 5 Australians had been affected by mental health stigma2. Subsequently they either avoided initiating mental health treatment or did not reveal the true severity of their distress. In Australia we have seen how difficult it is to predict national mental health needs. Beyond Blue was proposed as a five-year program to help those with depression. In 2022 it has well and truly exceeded its expiry date by 17 years. In 2020 they received 273,845 phone calls, 69% higher than 20153. The extension of this widely accessed service is fantastic. However, even though more people are accessing mental health services, 60% of Australians still find it difficult to candidly begin treatment3. Clearly there is an ongoing need for sensitive public messaging that addresses real challenges. Any resistance or hesitation towards initiating treatment is ok. Do what *you* have to do to get *yourself* in the door. Good luck. 1. Sean Stickney, Daniel Yanosky, David R. Black & Natalie L. Stickney (2012) Socio-demographic variables and perceptual moderators related to mental health stigma, Journal of Mental Health, 21:3, 244-256, DOI: [10.3109/09638237.2012.670878](https://doi.org/10.3109/09638237.2012.670878) 2. Groot, C, Rehm, I, Andrews, C, Hobern, B, Morgan, R, Green, H, Sweeney, L, and Blanchard, M (2020). Report on Findings from the Our Turn to Speak Survey: Understanding the impact of stigma and discrimination on people living with complex mental health issues. Anne Deveson Research Centre, SANE Australia. Melbourne. 3. Beyond Blue, 2020. *Annual Highlights 19/20*. Annual Reports. \[online\] Available at: <[https://www.beyondblue.org.au/docs/default-source/about-beyond-blue/annual-reports/beyond-blue-annual-highlights-2019-20-web-with-fins.pdf?sfvrsn=b62e4ceb\_4](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/docs/default-source/about-beyond-blue/annual-reports/beyond-blue-annual-highlights-2019-20-web-with-fins.pdf?sfvrsn=b62e4ceb_4)> ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Self Compassion Part 1](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/self-compassion-part-1/) **Published:** May 11, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ***Mounting scientific support for self-compassion as a powerful catalyst in recovery.*** By Will Sutherland ***This is the first in a two-part series on the complementary benefits of compassion in recovery and psychotherapy.*** I love a good metaphor and I relish a broadly applicable simile. I take to figures of speech like a duck to cold water (*a duck that enjoys Wim Hof cold-water exposure*). This is one of the many reasons I love Improv Comedy, the art of improvising comedic scenes on stage. Which, due to its transient and ritualistic essence, is infused with beautiful and broadly applicable metaphors. I once took an improv class where the teacher asked us to consider ourselves ‘Bears riding Unicycles’. Meaning, creating novel and hopefully comedic scenes from nothing, is already complicated and impressive enough. Instead of trying to impress the audience with overly complicated choices, we were encouraged to keep it simple. We were also encouraged to take stock of the challenging endeavor we were undertaking. Just like with every other metaphor I come across, I started to try and fit this one to every aspect of my life. At times it was like fitting a *square* usb-b cord into a *round* usb-c port. Eventually, I realized that an improviser imagining themselves as a unicycle-riding-bear, greatly parallels the effect of self-compassion in [psychotherapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) and recovery. Simply engaging in mental health treatment is impressive and challenging enough. Any additional pressure to improve faster or greater, is unhelpful and counter-productive6. Berating and criticizing yourself to increase improvements, may appeal to you and even provide short term assurance. However, previous research strongly supports the positive and complimentary effect of a self-compassionate approach to mental health recovery5. Psychotherapy can be an incredibly challenging endeavor. So, anything that increases or decreases that challenge, is noteworthy. Especially something that is consistently beneficial for many different life challenges and psychological disorders8, 9, 10, 11. Compassion has long been a core tenet of many religions and cultures, most notably Buddhism1. Over the last few decades scientific research has supported Buddhism’s belief in the importance of compassion. Self-compassion refers to how a person treats themselves in response to failure or significant challenges4. It has been consistently shown to reduce depressive symptoms11, to increase the ability to self-regulate5 and to increase relationship quality4. Self-compassion is typically learned through modelling from our primary caregivers. Nurturing received in early childhood can be a template for how we can, as adults, emotionally self-regulate and deal with adversity3, 4. However, not everyone receives the nurturing and compassion necessary to replicate it in adulthood4. Alarmingly, low self-compassion can have a significant impact on later life. Recent studies have found strong associations between low self-compassion substance abuse2, PTSD4, eating disorders5, personality disorders and physical health issues4. This strong relationship between self-compassion and severe negative health outcomes, has compelled researchers to explore the reasons why it is so significant. One key theory suggests the association is due to the specific evolutionary development of human brains3. As far as we’re aware there was no brainstorming (pun intended) during the big bang about how human brain’s should be structured. Instead The human brain developed because of *Darwinian Selection to Function*3: Over millions of years higher-order parts of our brain developed over lower-order parts, in response to societal and environmental demands. Our modern-day challenge is to navigate the different, ad-hoc layering of our brain parts and their sometimes-conflicting motives. This can be quite the challenge, not unlike a *bear riding a unicycle*. One of the greatest factors influencing the evolution of our brains was social connections3. Strong motivations to make and maintain social connections would have increased our chances at survival3. So we are likely the descendants of those who were the most sensitive to social stimuli like connection and relational validation. In fact our brain chemistry is now significantly driven by social factors such as kindness, connection and mindfulness4. If these fundamental factors are modeled to us in childhood, they will then transfer to our *tool belt* of adaptive skills as an adult. However, without these skills both ordinary life stressors and psychological disorders are immensely harder to endure and recover from. The good part is that self-compassion is a skill that can also be learned in adulthood4. There is a growing body of research working to identify the functional components of self-compassion13. In the next article I will outline these components and corresponding techniques that can improve self-compassion. **By Will Sutherland** **Below are some phone numbers that are great for especially difficult times.** 13 11 14 – Lifeline Crisis Support Line 1300 22 4636 – Beyond Blue **References** 1\. Hofmann SG, Grossman P, Hinton DE. Loving-kindness and compassion meditation: potential for psychological interventions. Clin Psychol Rev. 2011 Nov;31(7):1126-32. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2011.07.003. Epub 2011 Jul 26. PMID: 21840289; PMCID: PMC3176989. 2\. Chen, Gila. (2019). The Role of Self-Compassion in Recovery from Substance Use Disorders. OBM Integrative and Complementary Medicine. 4. 10.21926/obm.icm.1902026. 3\. Gilbert, P. (2014), The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. Br J Clin Psychol, 53: 6-41. [ https://doi.org/10.1111/bjc.12043](https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjc.12043) 4\. Ferrari, M., Hunt, C., Harrysunker, A. *et al.* Self-Compassion Interventions and Psychosocial Outcomes: a Meta-Analysis of RCTs. *Mindfulness* **10,** 1455–1473 (2019).[ https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-019-01134-6](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12671-019-01134-6) 5\. Inwood E, Ferrari M. Mechanisms of Change in the Relationship between Self-Compassion, Emotion Regulation, and Mental Health: A Systematic Review. Appl Psychol Health Well Being. 2018 Jul;10(2):215-235. doi: 10.1111/aphw.12127. Epub 2018 Apr 19. PMID: 29673093. 6\. Lindsay M. Sutherland, Kent C. Kowalski, Leah J. Ferguson, Catherine M. Sabiston, Whitney A. Sedgwick & Peter R.E. Crocker (2014) Narratives of young women athletes’ experiences of emotional pain and self-compassion, Qualitative Research in Sport, Exercise and Health, 6:4, 499-516, DOI: [10.1080/2159676X.2014.888587](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/2159676X.2014.888587) 7\. Nathan A. Reis, Kent C. Kowalski, Amber D. Mosewich & Leah J. Ferguson (2022) ‘That’s how I am dealing with it – that *is* dealing with it’: exploring men athletes’ self-compassion through the lens of masculinity, Qualitative Research in Sport, Exercise and Health, 14:2, 245-267, DOI: [10.1080/2159676X.2021.1920455](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/2159676X.2021.1920455) 8\. Braehler C, Gumley A, Harper J, Wallace S, Norrie J, Gilbert P. Exploring change processes in compassion focused therapy in psychosis: results of a feasibility randomized controlled trial. Br J Clin Psychol. 2013 Jun;52(2):199-214. doi: 10.1111/bjc.12009. Epub 2012 Oct 24. PMID: 24215148. 9\. Kelly AC, Wisniewski L, Martin-Wagar C, Hoffman E. Group-Based Compassion-Focused Therapy as an Adjunct to Outpatient Treatment for Eating Disorders: A Pilot Randomized Controlled Trial. Clin Psychol Psychother. 2017 Mar;24(2):475-487. doi: 10.1002/cpp.2018. Epub 2016 May 30. PMID: 27237928. 10\. Lucre KM, Corten N. An exploration of group compassion-focused therapy for personality disorder. Psychol Psychother. 2013 Dec;86(4):387-400. doi: 10.1111/j.2044-8341.2012.02068.x. Epub 2012 May 17. PMID: 24217864. 11\. Cuppage J, Baird K, Gibson J, Booth R, Hevey D. Compassion focused therapy: Exploring the effectiveness with a transdiagnostic group and potential processes of change. Br J Clin Psychol. 2018 Jun;57(2):240-254. doi: 10.1111/bjc.12162. Epub 2017 Oct 17. PMID: 29044607. 12\. Kelly AC, Carter JC, Zuroff DC, Borairi S. Self-compassion and fear of self-compassion interact to predict response to eating disorders treatment: a preliminary investigation. Psychother Res. 2013;23(3):252-64. doi: 10.1080/10503307.2012.717310. Epub 2012 Aug 24. PMID: 22917037. 13\. Kristin D. Neff (2003) The Development and Validation of a Scale to Measure Self-Compassion, Self and Identity, 2:3, 223-250, DOI: [10.1080/15298860309027](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Self Compassion Part 2](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/increasing-self-compassion/) **Published:** May 18, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Part 2. ***Research-based suggestions for increasing your self-compassion.*** By Will Sutherland In the previous article on [Self Compassion](https://thethreeseas.com.au/unicycle-riding-bears-part-1/), I wrote about the mounting scientific support for self-compassion as a catalyst in psychotherapy and recovery. I also outlined the various evolutionary and attachment based theories that underpin this effect. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t until I finished the last article that I finally conceded: ‘Fine! I’ll start being self-compassionate!’. I naturally skew towards the *tough love* camp. Evidently, self-compassion was not the most appealing practice for me. However, I have reluctantly introduced some self-compassion practices. And to my delight, these practices and concepts have become a wonderful addition to my existing mental health practices. That’s the good part; compassion is a skill that can be learned4. There is a growing body of research identifying the functional components of self-compassion. In a pioneering study on self-compassion, Kristin D. Neff presents three components that make up self-compassion: self-kindness, connection and mindful self-regulation13. Self-kindness is reacting to your own failures with the same grace and gentleness that you would to a friend5. Additionally, it involves challenging self-critical thoughts. Those with eating disorders are typically low on self-kindness and experience very high levels of shame and self-criticism12. A twelve-week Compassion Focused group program for those with eating disorders, significantly reduced reports of shame, self-criticism and pathological-eating9. The study also significantly reduced another barrier to self-compassion; fear of compassion12. Fear of compassion is described as both: the belief that you’re not worthy of compassion and the fear that self-compassion will negatively affect how you are perceived by others9. The maladaptive view that self-criticism is necessary and helpful, is not reserved for those with eating disorders. Many athletes believe that too much self-compassion may encourage mediocre performance6. However, self-compassion not self-criticism increases your ability to through navigate the natural failures and successes in sport. Self-compassion is also likely to increase behavioral reactions in sport and reduce maladaptive reactions to failure7. The second component of self-compassion is connection to your common humanity13. This links back to the Buddhist notion that suffering is a universal part of human experience, and not an individual’s fault1. Also linked to attachment theory, connection to a common humanity is modeled after a caregivers unconditional acceptance4. This connection helps us to identify that all humans will experience suffering and help us to meet that suffering with compassion not shame. It also produces feelings of social connectedness and the related hormones that our brains, like oxytocin3. This may explain why a compassion focused intervention for those with Psychosis significantly reduced feelings of social marginilization8. Similarly, Compassion Focused [Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) resulted in significant reductions in depressive symptoms in many different groups11. One theory is that self-compassion may negate the Depressive Attributional Style14. Which involves attributing personal success to external factors and failures to your own fault. Thus viewing themselves as a disconnected and solely responsible failure; or, as the common recovery expression puts it, feeling like ‘a piece of shit in the centre of the Universe15. The opposite of connection to common humanity. The third component of self-compassion is mindfulness and self-regulation13. In this context, a practice of mindfulness helps us to self-regulate emotional and cognitive distress. This distress is theorised to be, in part, due to the evolutionary development of the human brain3. The ability to experience momentary distress whilst diffusing/detaching ourselves from them, is an invaluable tool in life and managing psychological disorders6, 8, 9. A helpful reminder used in recovery and CBT is *thoughts and feelings aren’t facts*. Emotional self-regulation and mindfulness work by engaging our para-sympathetic nervous system, which calms our autonomic responses like heart rate and cortisol release4. Especially those with substance abuse issues, emotional-regulation techniques are incredibly effective in recovery2. In fact mindfulness and emotional regulation are key components taught in both Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous2. Another common reminder used in Alcoholics Anonymous is the acronym HALT16. Before making a decision or launching into an action, addicts are encouraged to ask, ‘am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?’. Considering these basic human needs and recognising their influence over our perceptions can help to avoid jeopardising recovery2. Several recent meta-analyses3, 4, 5 have provided clinical support for Buddhism’s long-held belief in the importance of self-compassion compassion1. These studies highlight the efficacy and ease of implementing self-compassion for different populations and disorders8, 9, 10, 11. Self-compassion has theoretical support in evolutionary and attachment theory, linking its significance to our biological and social human needs3, 13. Although compassion is commonly modeled to us by our caregivers it is a learnable skill3. Through practicing self-kindness, connection and mindful self-regulation, self-compassion can help us navigate the natural highs and lows of life13. Engaging in mental health treatment can be a challenging and complicated endeavor, especially with the addition of self-criticism and shame. Self-compassion is an invaluable partner in any mental health or recovery journey, for all of us *Unicycle-riding-bears.* **Below are some extra resources for increasing self-compassion as well as some useful phone lines for especially difficult times.** Loving Kindness and Compassion meditation:[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM) 4 ways to boost self-compassion, Harvard Medical School: HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?): **13 11 14 – Lifeline Crisis Support Line** **1300 22 4636 – Beyond Blue** **References** 1\. Hofmann SG, Grossman P, Hinton DE. Loving-kindness and compassion meditation: potential for psychological interventions. Clin Psychol Rev. 2011 Nov;31(7):1126-32. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2011.07.003. Epub 2011 Jul 26. PMID: 21840289; PMCID: PMC3176989. 2\. Chen, Gila. (2019). The Role of Self-Compassion in Recovery from Substance Use Disorders. OBM Integrative and Complementary Medicine. 4. 10.21926/obm.icm.1902026. 3\. Gilbert, P. (2014), The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. Br J Clin Psychol, 53:641. [ https://doi.org/10.1111/bjc.12043](https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjc.12043) 4\. Ferrari, M., Hunt, C., Harrysunker, A. *et al.* Self-Compassion Interventions and Psychosocial Outcomes: a Meta-Analysis of RCTs. *Mindfulness* **10,** 1455–1473 (2019).[ https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-019-01134-6](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12671-019-01134-6) 5\. Inwood E, Ferrari M. Mechanisms of Change in the Relationship between Self-Compassion, Emotion Regulation, and Mental Health: A Systematic Review. Appl Psychol Health Well Being. 2018 Jul;10(2):215-235. doi: 10.1111/aphw.12127. Epub 2018 Apr 19. PMID: 29673093. 6\. Lindsay M. Sutherland, Kent C. Kowalski, Leah J. Ferguson, Catherine M. Sabiston, Whitney A. Sedgwick & Peter R.E. Crocker (2014) Narratives of young women athletes’ experiences of emotional pain and self-compassion, Qualitative Research in Sport, Exercise and Health, 6:4, 499-516, DOI:[ 10.1080/2159676X.2014.888587](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/2159676X.2014.888587) 7\. Nathan A. Reis, Kent C. Kowalski, Amber D. Mosewich & Leah J. Ferguson (2022) ‘That’s how I am dealing with it – that *is* dealing with it’: exploring men athletes’ self-compassion through the lens of masculinity, Qualitative Research in Sport, Exercise and Health, 14:2, 245-267, DOI:[ 10.1080/2159676X.2021.1920455](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/2159676X.2021.1920455) 8\. Braehler C, Gumley A, Harper J, Wallace S, Norrie J, Gilbert P. Exploring change processes in compassion focused therapy in psychosis: results of a feasibility randomized controlled trial. Br J Clin Psychol. 2013 Jun;52(2):199-214. doi: 10.1111/bjc.12009. Epub 2012 Oct 24. PMID: 24215148. 9\. Kelly AC, Wisniewski L, Martin-Wagar C, Hoffman E. Group-Based Compassion-Focused Therapy as an Adjunct to Outpatient Treatment for Eating Disorders: A Pilot Randomized Controlled Trial. Clin Psychol Psychother. 2017 Mar;24(2):475-487. doi: 10.1002/cpp.2018. Epub 2016 May 30. PMID: 27237928.10. 10\. Lucre KM, Corten N. An exploration of group compassion-focused therapy for personality disorder. Psychol Psychother. 2013 Dec;86(4):387-400. doi: 10.1111/j.2044-8341.2012.02068.x. Epub 2012 May 17. PMID: 24217864. 11\. Cuppage J, Baird K, Gibson J, Booth R, Hevey D. Compassion focused therapy: Exploring the effectiveness with a transdiagnostic group and potential processes of change. Br J Clin Psychol. 2018 Jun;57(2):240-254. doi: 10.1111/bjc.12162. Epub 2017 Oct 17. PMID: 29044607. 12\. Kelly AC, Carter JC, Zuroff DC, Borairi S. Self-compassion and fear of self-compassion interact to predict response to eating disorders treatment: a preliminary investigation. Psychother Res. 2013;23(3):252-64. doi: 10.1080/10503307.2012.717310. Epub 2012 Aug 24. PMID: 22917037. 13\. Kristin D. Neff (2003) The Development and Validation of a Scale to Measure Self-Compassion, Self and Identity, 2:3, 223-250, DOI:[ 10.1080/15298860309027](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027) 14\. Abramson, L. Y., Seligman, M. E., & Teasdale, J. D. (1978). Learned helplessness in humans: Critique and reformulation. *Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 87*(1), 49–74.[ https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.87.1.49](https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0021-843X.87.1.49) 15\. David, A. (2014, April 23). *Recovery Expressions That Blew My Mind*. HuffPost.[ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/addiction-recovery\_b\_5194789](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/addiction-recovery_b_5194789) 16\. *Alcoholics Anonymous : the story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism.* (2001). Alcoholics Anonymous World Services. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Gender and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/now-those-people-are-crazy/) **Published:** May 26, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** **A call to oust out-dated gender generalisations within mental health.** **By Will Sutherland** http://capmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13034-015-0088-x There’s an old story about Arthur Miller from the opening night of his play, *Death of a Salesman*. He watched from the back of the theatre as his play was brought to life publicly for the first time. Typically, it would be difficult to gauge the audience reaction to a drama during the play, but this one was different. Throughout the production Miller noticed a strange metronomic response to his play. The shoulders of the suited men in the audience started bobbing up and down, as they tried to subdue their tears. These men had seen themselves, their ambitions and their paternal relationships reflected to them, perhaps for the first time. Last year, at a party, I met a family member’s partner for the first time. He asked me what I did. I told him I’m studying to be a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) and with the quick draw of a Wild West sharpshooter, he responded with- ‘Psychologists are the most messed up out of everyone’. This guy, who I’d met maybe 15 minutes earlier, was suggesting that *all* Psychologists were more mentally unstable than the normal population. At that point I realised, this guy could not find out I used to be a part of the other group in society, considered equally as ‘messed up’: comedians. Now, telling someone they’re most-likely ‘messed-up’ is obviously a great conversation starter, but in other contexts generalising predictors of mental health is drastically neglectful. The first aim of this article is to oust out-dated gender generalisations within mental health. Secondly, to suggest we be a little more curious about the nuanced variables that moderate predictors of mental health. Otherwise stated, everyone is messed up’ but in their own way. I have especially noticed many reductive presumptions involving men’s mental health, that don’t align with my observations nor the research1, 2. The first presumption I notice is that men’s emotional distress could be eliminated or reduced if they simply *talked more about their feelings*. Perhaps this is extrapolated from how effective discussing emotional distress within social groups can be for women6, 7. The second presumption is that men experience mental health issues at greater rates than women. This may be a mis-attribution from the statistics indicating higher rates of substance abuse and suicide for men3, 8. Either way it’s important for us to continually assess our presumptions and reasoning. This will hopefully yield even more accurate and appropriate mental health assistance for those in need. In 2018 it was reported that 1 in 5 Australians suffered from a mental or behavioural condition1. Women have higher rates of psychological disorders at almost every age group and with almost all disorder types. This disparity is as large as 25% in the 18-24 age group1. Although, these statistics should encourage a proportionate response to these rates, there are additional variables that complicate things. Firstly, although women are more likely to have a mental health disorder, they are also 30% more likely to seek treatment, when in need3. Secondly, men are over-all three times more likely to die by suicide 8. Finally, how men and women typically process emotional distress is shown to be literally backwards from one another5. One study in particular supported this difference, showing that gender can moderate the benefits of social support in adolescents with depression5. The study found that a feeling of self-control mediated the relationship between social support and reduced depressive symptoms. However, both genders had a different order to this process. Boys benefited most from the ‘don’t talk about it approach’. This involves first engaging in unrelated physical and social activities without mentioning the distress. This can increase their feelings of self-control and autonomy over their circumstances, which gives them the confidence to discuss their distress. However, girls benefited most when they began by making their social group aware of their distress. Increasing the social group awareness led to restoring their feeling of self-confidence and agency over their life circumstances. The study is a small example of how differently we can experience and process mental health issues. Since it was published, research has been extended to explore other gender identities including non-binary and transgender populations. Culture has also been explored as a moderating factor within the relationship between gender and distress. The risks of neglected mental health issues can be terrifying and generalisations can ease this with a feeling of certainty. Yet, it is vitally important that we continue to challenge our assumptions and consider the individual nuances in a person’s mental health. **By Will Sutherland** If you or someone you know needs support please consider contacting one of these helpful support lines: **Lifeline:** 13 11 14 **Beyond Blue:** 1300 22 4636 1\. Australian Bureau of Statistics (December: 2018) *Mental Health\[**\],* ABS Website, 24th May 2022. 2\. Australian Bureau of Statistics (December: 2021) *First Insights from the National Study of* Mental *Health Wellbeing, 2020-21* \[\] ABS Website, 24th May 2022. 3\. Australian Bureau of Statistics (October: 2008) *National Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing: Summary of Results.* \[\] ABS Website, 24th May 2022. 4\. Sundberg, L., Agahi, N., Fritzell, J., & Fors, S. (2018). Why is the gender gap in life expectancy decreasing? The impact of age- and cause-specific mortality in Sweden 1997-2014. *International journal of public health*, *63*(6), 673–681.[ https://doi.org/10.1007/s00038-018-1097-3](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00038-018-1097-3) 5\. Martínez-Hernáez, A., Carceller-Maicas, N., DiGiacomo, S.M. *et al.* Social support and gender differences in coping with depression among emerging adults: a mixed-methods study. *Child Adolesc Psychiatry Ment Health* **10,** 2 (2016).[ https://doi.org/10.1186/s13034-015-0088-x](https://capmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13034-015-0088-x) 6\. Andrews, B., Brewin, C.R. & Rose, S. Gender, Social Support, and PTSD in Victims of Violent Crime. *J Trauma Stress* **16,** 421–427 (2003).[ https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1024478305142](http://doi.wiley.com/10.1023/A%3A1024478305142) 7\. María P. Aranda, PhD, LCSW, Irma Castaneda, PhD, LCSW, Pey-Jiuan Lee, MS, Eugene Sobel, PhD, Stress, social support, and coping as predictors of depressive symptoms: Gender differences among Mexican Americans, *Social Work Research*, Volume 25, Issue 1, March 2001, Pages 37–48, [ https://doi.org/10.1093/swr/25.1.37](https://academic.oup.com/swr/article-lookup/doi/10.1093/swr/25.1.37) 8\. Australian Bureau of Statistics (September: 2021) *Causes of Death, Australia* \[\] ABS Website, 24th May 2022. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Dialectical Behaviour Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/dialectical-behaviour-therapy/) **Published:** June 23, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ***What is DBT and Why it Saves Lives.*** *By Will Sutherland* We all struggle from time to time with our mental health and relationships. However, some people experience these struggles so severely and frequently, that it fundamentally affects their wellbeing and safety. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) was developed to assist those experiencing extreme difficulty in relationships, decision-making and emotion regulation. Although DBT is best known for assisting those with borderline personality disorder, it has also been consistently effective for those with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression and those engaging in self-harm and suicidality1. DBT is a broad system of therapeutic treatments that significantly reduce the rates of suicidality and hospital admissions2. One of the most important components of the treatments is the group skills training3. The Three Seas Group is now conducting a 12-week DBT Group Skills Training Program for adolescents and adults. The program will cover the four key components of DBT: mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness. Firstly the program begins with mindfulness techniques. This involves a process called Wisemind4, where participants learn to integrate their emotional self, logical self and intuition. This allows them to act more efficiently and to be more present in their experiences. Participants also learn to engage more fully in their lives by being mindful of what they are doing and how effective their choices are at reaching desired outcomes. Secondly, participants learn to tolerate distress. First participants learn to acknowledge that pain is a part of life and second, to chose tolerant behaviours instead of impulsive behaviours. These techniques are for daily life and crisis situations. One notable technique is TIP4, which works to address physiological symptoms. The technique suggests plunging your face into icy water (**T**emperature), engaging in **I**ntense exercise or slowing down your breathing (**P**aced)(see below), to reduce autonomic arousal that leads to distress. The third component is emotional regulation. Participants will learn how important emotions are to our actions and our relationships. Then they learn to identify their emotions and helpful techniques to manage more challenging emotions. Our emotions motivate us to act, however sometimes those emotions lead to unhelpful habitual reactions. The Opposite Action Technique4 teaches participants to identify an alternate behaviour to the one their emotion encourages. If a participant is angry and they feel like acting destructively, they can instead consider choosing a kind or constructive response. The fourth component is interpersonal effectiveness. This involves strengthening existing relationships, ending toxic relationships and creating new healthy ones. Interpersonal Effectiveness teaches participants techniques to develop relationships where their needs are met. These involve improving interpersonal communication, negotiation and mindfulness during conflict. One of these strategies is the DEARMAN technique4 (see below). The Three Seas Group DBT program is run in a classroom format, where practical and effective skills are taught through psycho-education. If you have any questions or would like to find out about our next in-take please call our Client Connect Team on 9809 1000. TIP **T**emperature – using cold or ice water. **I**ntense Exercise **P**aced breathing – slowing the inhale and exhale. See here for further information on TIP: https://dbt.tools/distress\_tolerance/tip.php DEARMAN **D**escribe the situation **E**xpress yourself **A**ssert yourself **R**einforce (reward) the other person Remain **M**indful of triggers and emotions **A**ppear confident and open **N**egotiate See here for further information on DEARMAN: [https://dbt.tools/interpersonal\_effectiveness/dear-man.php](https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php) 1. McCauley E, Berk MS, Asarnow JR, et al. Efficacy of Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Adolescents at High Risk for Suicide: A Randomized Clinical Trial. *JAMA Psychiatry.* 2018;75(8):777–785. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2018.1109 2. Behavioral Tech. (2021). *What is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)?* Behavioral Tech – Training, Continuing Education in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).[ https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/](https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/) 3. Mehlum, L. (2021, 2021/02/01/). Mechanisms of change in dialectical behaviour therapy for people with borderline personality disorder. *Current Opinion in Psychology, 37*, 89-93. Linehan, M. (n.d.). *Home*. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Tools. https://dbt.tools/index.php ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Money and Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/money-and-psychology/) **Published:** July 5, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** The reciprocal relationship that affects our financial decisions and mistakes. From winning the lottery to the global financial crisis; our psychology is intimately linked with our finances. Financial worries accounted for three of the four greatest concerns in 2021, only outranked by COVID-191. Specific professions like financial psychiatrists have been created to address these concerns. Money can influence our perception and choices. Conversely our personality can affect our finances. Here are some common ways this can happen. The sunk cost fallacy is the human tendency to let our previous investments and losses (sunk costs) influence our future decisions2. This typically refers to economics however it happens in politics, business and relationships. For example, the longer people spend in a relationship the more likely they are to stay because of the time they have invested. Similarly, if someone invests in a company, then the stock dives, they may double down on their investment in a desire to recoup the money they have lost. However, the previous loss does not necessarily predict the next outcome. When people make financial decisions, they’re often based on emotions not logic. Another recent psychological phenomenon is Sudden Wealth Syndrome. The term was coined by [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) Stephen Goldbart to describe the distress people experienced after suddenly making large amounts of money3. Typically, this happens to people who have made money through winning the lottery, inheritance, and even crypto currency. This sudden change in circumstances can affect their self-image, motivation, and relationships. It can be exacerbated if they put little to no effort into making that money, like buying a lottery ticket. Although it may be hard to empathise with the struggles of someone gaining incredible wealth, the symptoms can be severe. People often begin to disconnect from their friends and family as they start to distrust people’s motives. They also might fear losing their wealth, could become paralysed with new choices or worried about the impact on their children4. This doesn’t mean that having more money is a terrible thing, but it can be complicated. A personality trait that can affect the financial decisions we make is Extroversion. In her seminal book *Quiet: The power of Introverts*, Susan Cain suggests listening to Introverts could have reduced the severity of the Global Financial Crisis of 2007. In fact Cain provides multiple examples where Financial Institutions ignored and even demoted introverted employees, when they raised concerns. Many companies chose to promote and listen to extroverts preferring their positivity, high energy and confidence. Unfortunately, extroverts are also more likely to discount the potential risks when deciding. They are also more likely to have a sensitivity to rewards, which can drive them to make unreasonable decisions. Warren Buffet even suggests that people who are highly reward sensitive and unable to endure the natural highs and lows, shouldn’t be in the stock-market. The relationship between psychology and money can affect global, local and personal decisions. With the cost of living rising in many countries around the world, you might be more likely to make an emotional financial decision. It might be time to look at your financial plans from a different angle. You could run your plans by a friend or a financial advisor. If you think your emotions might be getting the better of you, you can speak to a psychologist or counsellor for more support. National Debt Helpline 1800 007 007. (9:30am to 4:30pm Monday to Friday) By Will Sutherland 1\. Gebrekal, T. (2021). What Worries the World? August 2021 \[Review of *What Worries the World? August 2021*\]. *Innovation & Knowledge : Society*.[ https://www.ipsos.com/sites/default/files/ct/publication/documents/2021-08/What%20Worries%20the%20World-August\_2021.pdf](https://www.ipsos.com/sites/default/files/ct/publication/documents/2021-08/What%20Worries%20the%20World-August_2021.pdf) 2\. Thaler, R. (1980). Toward a positive theory of consumer choice. *Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization*, *1*(1), 39-60. 3\. *Blog | MMC Institute*. (2010). Retrieved June 27, 2022, from[ http://www.mmcinstitute.com/about-2/sudden-wealth-syndrome/](http://www.mmcinstitute.com/about-2/sudden-wealth-syndrome/) 4\. *Wealth Psychologist*. (2019). Investopedia.[ https://www.investopedia.com/terms/w/wealthpsychologist.asp](https://www.investopedia.com/terms/w/wealthpsychologist.asp) 5\. Cain, S. (2013). *Quiet : the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking*. Penguin Books. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Psychologists & Psychiatrists, What's the Difference?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychologists-and-psychiatrists-whats-the-difference/) **Published:** July 19, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Navigating psychological disorders and life stressors can be a formidable task, and finding the right support is often perplexing. Two primary mental health professionals, psychologists and psychiatrists, play crucial roles in assisting individuals with similar challenges, yet their approaches differ. Psychiatrists, armed with a medical degree, specialize in mental health disorders and can prescribe medications, address medical issues, and employ psychotherapeutic techniques. On the other hand, psychologists delve into the science of human behavior and employ evidence-based therapies to tackle psychological disorders and life stressors. Both professionals often collaborate with general practitioners. For those grappling with severe disorders, engaging a variety of specialists, including psychologist Melbourne, can address diverse needs, although financial considerations may guide the choice. ## Psychiatrists ### What do they do? Psychiatrists are qualified to prescribe medications, address medical issues, and utilize psychotherapeutic techniques, working in hospitals, community health services, or private practice. ### When would you see one? Seek a psychiatrist if experiencing severe symptoms from psychological disorders like PTSD, severe depression, or anxiety. When psychotherapy or other interventions prove insufficient, considering a psychiatrist is appropriate. They can provide an official diagnosis of psychological disorders. ## Psychologists ### What do Psychologists do? Psychologists study human behavior and its relation to thoughts and feelings, employing evidence-based therapies for psychological disorders and life stressors. These may include anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, financial stress, relationships, parenting, crime victimhood, or aging. They work in hospitals, community health services, or private practice. ### When should one consider seeking assistance from psychology Melbourne? Engage a psychologist when experiencing significant distress that impairs crucial areas of life, especially when struggling to understand or function in various aspects. Psychologists, often the first line of intervention for mental health issues, can offer mental health assessments and, in some cases, an official diagnosis. **Key Differences** **Psychiatrists** **Psychologists** Prescribe Medication ✅ **❌** Officially Diagnose ✅ *Certain psychologists like clinical psychologists can. It’s best to check with the psychologist first.* Psychotherapeutic interventions *Some might specialise in diagnosis and medication and less so in psychotherapies and counselling. It’s best to check with the psychiatrist first.* ✅ General counselling *Some might specialise in diagnosis and medication and less so in psychotherapies and counselling. It’s best to check with the psychiatrist first.* ✅ **What next?** If you would like to see a psychiatrist or a Melbourne based psychologist, we suggest seeing your GP for assistance. They can give you specific advice and write you a referral. Most psychiatrists require a referral before you can see them, but you can see a Melbourne psychologist without one. A referral will entitle you to a significant rebate from Medicare. This resource from Health Direct ([*https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/question-builder*](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/question-builder)*) can help you to articulate yourself when speaking to a mental health or medical professional.* If you have any questions or would like to book in with our Melbourne psychologists or psychiatrists please contact our Client Connect Team on [9809 1000](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-existing-customer/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Personality Disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/personality-disorders/) **Published:** August 2, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ### What are they? Erratic behaviours, long-term dysfunction and tumultuous relationships. Personality disorders (PDs) are severe mental health conditions that cause distress and dysfunction. Personality can be defined as a pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are consistent across time and different situations. Our personalities are often viewed as the summation of different traits, like extraversion and agreeableness1. Similarly, those with PDs experience dysfunction and distress, in consistent and long-term patterns. Including difficulty forming relationships, perceiving the world and sustaining employment. ### How do they relate to Depression? PDs are similar but different from mood disorders. Depression and Borderline personality disorder (BPD) share similar symptoms like low mood. However, PDs tend to produce more dysfunctional behaviours and thoughts2. For example, BPD is more associated with suicidality and erratic behaviours in relationships. Whereas depression is more associated with mood and feeling. Another key difference between personality and mood disorders is the duration and frequency of symptoms. BPD and bipolar are both associated with mood swings. Those mood swings are typically more frequent and quicker to change with Borderline than Bipolar3. PDs are often ego-syntonic whereas other psychological disorders are ego-dystonic. This refers to how someone feels about their dysfunctional thoughts, feelings and behaviours4. A good example is OCD and OCD Personality disorder. Those with OCD are ego-dystonic, meaning their OCD behaviours and thoughts do not align with their values. They are aware of how much it affects their life. If they perform a compulsion it’s due to the intensity of the obsession not because of a genuine desire to do it. However, those with OCD Personality disorder are ego-syntonic, meaning their OCD thoughts and behaviours do align with their values. They may even believe that their OCD is beneficial, with no downside. People with PDs often can’t see the negative effect of their condition. This can make treatment more difficult. ### What are the different types? There are ten different types of PDs, which are divided into three clusters5. The different types within a cluster share common symptoms. Cluster A contains PDs involving odd and eccentric behaviours and thinking6. These include Paranoid, Schizoid and Schizotypal Personality Disorders. Cluster B containsPDs involving unstable emotions and impulsive behaviours. These include Antisocial, Histrionic, Borderline and Narcissistic personality disorders. Cluster C contains PDs involving anxious and fearful thoughts and behaviours. These include Avoidant, Obsessive-compulsive and Dependent personality disorders. PDs are commonly diagnosed by a psychiatrist or a psychologist. The first step is often consulting with your G­­­­P. PDs can be managed and treated with medication and psychotherapy. For example, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy is an extension of [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne/) designed specifically for BPD7. [Crisis management resources](https://www.vic.gov.au/current-mental-health-resources-support-services) are also important when personality disorders lead to harmful behaviours. *If you have any questions or would like to book in with our psychologists or psychiatrists, please contact our [Client Connect Team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) on [9809 1000]().* By Will Sutherland References 1\. *12.1 Personality and Behaviour: Approaches and Measurement – Introduction to Psychology – 1st Canadian Edition*. (2014, October 17). Opentextbc.ca. https://opentextbc.ca/introductiontopsychology/chapter/11-1-personality-and-behavior-approaches-and-measurement/ 2\. Health, P. B. (2022, April 12). *What’s the Difference Between a Personality Disorder and a Mood Disorder?* Promises Behavioral Health. https://www.promises.com/addiction-blog/difference-between-personality-disorder-and-mood-disorder/ 3\. *Mental Health Conditions*. (n.d.). NAMI Chicago. Retrieved July 2, 2022, from https://www.namichicago.org/mental-health-conditions 4\. *Syntonic and Dystonic*. (n.d.). Richard B. Joelson, DSW. https://richardbjoelsondsw.com/articles/syntonic-dystonic/ 5\. Robitz, R. (2018, November). *Psychiatry.org – What are Personality Disorders?* Psychiatry.org. https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/personality-disorders/what-are-personality-disorders 6\. Health direct. (2019, January 11). *Personality disorders: an overview*. Healthdirect.gov.au; Healthdirect Australia. https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/personality-disorders 7\. Behavioral Tech. (2021). *What is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)?* Behavioral Tech – Training, Continuing Education in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/ 8\. Mayo Clinic. (2016). *Personality disorders – Symptoms and causes*. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-­­­causes/syc-20354463 ‌ ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Trauma and PTSD: When trauma leaves its mark](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/trauma-and-ptsd-when-trauma-leaves-its-mark/) **Published:** August 22, 2022 **Author:** Robert **Content:** By Will Sutherland A [traumatic event](https://thethreeseas.com.au/traumatic-events-affect-brain-body/) involves fear-inducing circumstances, like actual or threatened death (war and natural disasters), serious injury and sexual violence1. However, people can experience trauma by witnessing or repeatedly being exposed to details of a fear-inducing event (first responders seeing dead bodies and police officers hearing details of child abuse). It’s normal for these circumstances to cause people distress. However, for some, that distress continues long after the event, including: hypervigilance, panic attacks and intrusive memories of the event2. Often, people will then avoid circumstances or stimuli to try and stop those symptoms from occurring. This prolonged experience of symptoms and avoidant behaviour are the main components of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). 75% of Australian adults have experienced a traumatic event at some point in their life2. 12% will develop PTSD3 from those events. Genetics factors, level of support and comorbid conditions are correlated with higher levels of PTSD. Additionally, sexual assault is more likely to lead to PTSD than other traumatic events. Although relatively few people will develop PTSD from a traumatic incident, prolonged PTSD can have serious effects. This includes using illicit substances to attempt to avoid their symptoms5. Others may have difficulty with their work and relationships due to difficulty concentrating, self-destructive behaviour and aggression. 80% of those with prolonged PTSD will also experience comorbid disorders like anxiety and depression. So, why does this happen? An evolutionary perspective suggests this was a survival advantage. Our brains likely developed a way of fortifying fear-inducing situations to memory to ensure we remember to avoid danger later7. In fact, the neurochemicals that help strengthen memories are mostly induced by stress and fear, like norepinephrine, and cortisol8. So, PTSD may be an unhelpful extension of what was an evolutionary advantage. Fortunately, there are many effective treatments for PTSD, including cognitive behaviour therapy, Eye-movement desensitization reprogramming, exposure therapy and medication. These can help people to manage their symptoms and reduce their severity and frequency. Trauma Informed Care (TIC), is a recently developed framework that assists many different practitioners to provide effective PTSD treatment. TIC takes into consideration the specific needs of those with PTSD, like safe spaces and empowerment6. Others find support and recover through [PTSD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/) support groups. Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprogramming involves guiding the patient through remembering the traumatic event whilst engaging in bi-lateral eye movement (left-to-right)9. This is a relatively recent development but is very effective at desensitizing someone to the intense negative symptoms associated with the memory. There are many promising treatment options for those with PTSD. However, it’s important to ensure the provider is trauma-informed and qualified. Unfortunately, improper treatment can re-traumatize people and make their symptoms worse6. *If you have any questions or would like to book in with our [trauma-informed practitioners](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/), please contact our Client Connect Team on [9809 1000](tel:98091000).* References: 1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). *Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders* (5th ed.).[ https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596](https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596) 2. *Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)*. (2015, August 11). SANE.[ https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/post-traumatic-stress-disorder#:~:text=How%20common%20is%20PTSD%3F](https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/post-traumatic-stress-disorder#:~:text=How%20common%20is%20PTSD%3F) 3. Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2018). *National Health Survey: First results* \[Review of *National Health Survey: First results*\]. Australian Government. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/health-conditions-and-risks/national-health-survey-first-results/latest-release 4. ‌Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2008, October 23). *National Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing: Summary of Results, 2007 | Australian Bureau of Statistics*. Www.abs.gov.au.[ https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/mental-health/national-study-mental-health-and-wellbeing/latest-release](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/mental-health/national-study-mental-health-and-wellbeing/latest-release) 5. Health Direct. (2019, February 3). *Anxiety – symptoms, treatment and causes*. Healthdirect.gov.au; Healthdirect Australia. https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/anxiety 6. *Trauma and young people: Moving toward trauma-informed services and systems*. (2015). Orygen. https://www.orygen.org.au/trauma 7. Cantor C. (2009). Post-traumatic stress disorder: evolutionary perspectives. *The Australian and New Zealand journal of psychiatry*, *43*(11), 1038–1048.[ https://doi.org/10.3109/00048670903270407](https://doi.org/10.3109/00048670903270407) 8. Sherin JE, Nemeroff CB. Post-traumatic stress disorder: the neurobiological impact of psychological trauma. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2011;13(3):263-78. doi: 10.31887/DCNS.2011.13.2/jsherin. PMID: 22034143; PMCID: PMC3182008. 9. American Psychological Association. (2017, May). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. *American Psychological Association*. https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/eye-movement-reprocessing ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/44232de4ae75dc9a5e7f9dcad7dc1938c35ebb91f1196a14a0c7d2d5744cd55b?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Robert [See Full Bio](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/author/developer/) **Categories:** Blog, Trauma --- ### [Couples Counselling & Marriage Counselling, the Difference](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-difference-between-couples-counselling-marriage-counselling/) **Published:** September 5, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## The Difference between Couples Counselling & Marriage Counselling Even the best [relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) have challenges and stressors. During the height of 2020 lockdowns there was a 314% increase in couples who were considering separation1. 60% of Australian adults are partnered. Many of those couples will need external support to get them through various stages of a relationship2. Understanding the kind of help that is available can avoid unnecessary confusion. You may have seen advertising for marriage counsellor, couples therapists, relationship psychologists or any combination of those. So, what is the difference between couples counselling and marriage counselling? Overall, there are no categorical differences between them. At least not consistently across different institutions. The terms are used interchangeably for different companies and professions. However, there are some tendencies that align with different methods. Understanding these tendencies should provide you with an initial guide. Though, it’s important to understand what is involved in a particular service before starting. ### Marriage Counselling Marriage counselling tends to be associated with more traditional values. It could be affiliated with a [particular religion](https://thethreeseas.com.au/christian-marriage-counselling/) or cultural group. If you are interested in getting help within a particular spiritual or cultural framework, then I’d suggest that begin there. Within that field of professionals you might find counsellors, psychologists or religious leaders who can assist you. Some organisations offer pre-marital therapy. Pre-marital therapy helps prepare a couple for married life. ### Couples Counselling Couples counselling is a broader term describing many types of relationship help. It’s important to research what a particular company means by couples counselling. When working with people, especially in relationships, there are no certainties. The same is true for couples counselling. Its important to be wary of services that make unrealistic claims too. Some organisations claim to be the only legitimate service and that all others are ineffective. At [The Three Seas Group](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) we have a number of experienced counsellors and psychologists who offer couples counselling / marital counselling. Our team assist all relationship types, including all genders, backgrounds and orientations. Some of our team have specialities that may suit your situation too. For example, certain psychologists have experience assisting couples with severe psychological disorders. Other practitioners are equally experienced assisting with parenting. There are many factors that might influence your decision. If you’re having trouble navigating the options you can try speaking to your GP. At The Three Seas Group our Client Connect Team is able to explain our services and match you with an appropriate practitioner. You can contact us on 9809 1000 or[ here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/). Read more about our services and approach[ here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/). References: 1. 2. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families **Tags:** couples counselling, psychologist near me, relationship counselling --- ### [Codependency](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/codependency/) **Published:** September 20, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Codependency – Health Relationships are not one size fits all: Since the inception of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1936, it has given rise to numerous other recovery programs. Most are based around subtle variations on the 12 steps (e.g ‘Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable’1). Some programs assist specific addictions like narcotics or sex addiction. Other programs assist those who were indirectly affected by addiction; the partners and children of addicts. Al-Anon is a program designed for children of addicts and co-dependence anonymous for those who partner with addicts. Codependents Anonymous (CoDa) started when the co-dependents realised their partners were not only becoming sober, but receiving great fundamental life lessons. They too had suffered, if indirectly, from the addiction and wanted to receive these lessons as well. The initial description of a codependent person was someone who had a tendency to partner with addicts2. Today, CODA’s only requirement for membership is a ‘desire for healthy and loving relationships’3. This shifted the focus from their attachment to an addict towards their own choices and values. The term codependency rose in popularity in the 90s, where it featured in print 27 times as frequently as it did in the late eighties4 . Much credit is due to Melody Beattie’s 1986 best-seller Codependent No More5. A resurgence of interest in the topic came about in 2013. Since then the term has been co-opted by relationship advice blogs and other sources that have removed nuance from the term in favour of a categorical pseudo-diagnosis. This is a problem in part because a [healthy relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) can look differently for different populations, cultures and individuals. One factor to consider is between individualist and collectivist cultures. From a Western perspective, some Asian cultures have blurred boundaries between an individual and their community6. What is considered a healthy family boundary for a Canadian would likely differ greatly to a South-Korean. This becomes especially significant when Western psychologists provide guidance for second generation immigrants. For example, if they’re feeling struggling with highly critical or intrusive parents, the psychologist might suggest drawing a firm boundary. This could include not seeing them for an extended period or refusing to discuss certain topics (e.g. marriage or career). Although this might seem like an effective solution, it ignores the fundamental family dynamics. The importance of staying connected to their community, including their parents, is likely a determinant of wellbeing6. A more culturally-sensitive solution would balance the importance of connection and their personal needs. Current interpretations of co-dependency need to carefully consider how culture influences our idea of a healthy relationship. It’s also important to remember that relationships are complicated and nuanced. An alternative to categorical rules of how a relationship must be is CoDa’s goal of ‘healthy and loving relationships’. This allows us to adopt a culturally-sensitive and individual interpretation of our relationships. References 1. Alcoholics Anonymous. (2014). *The big book study guides for AA.* Alcoholics Anonymous. 2. Wegscheider-Cruse, S., U.S. Journal Of Drug And Alcohol Dependence, Inc. (Pompano Beach, Fla, & Health Communications, Inc. (1984). *Co-dependency, an emerging issue : a book of readings reprinted from FOCUS on FAMILY and chemical dependency*. Health Communications, Inc. 3. Co-Dependents Anonymous. (2012). *Co-Dependents Anonymous*. Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. 4. Jean-Baptiste Michel\*, Yuan Kui Shen, Aviva Presser Aiden, Adrian Veres, Matthew K. Gray, William Brockman, The Google Books Team, Joseph P. Pickett, Dale Hoiberg, Dan Clancy, Peter Norvig, Jon Orwant, Steven Pinker, Martin A. Nowak, and Erez Lieberman Aiden\*. *Quantitative Analysis of Culture Using Millions of Digitized Books*. **Science** (Published online ahead of print: 12/16/2010) 5. Beattie, M. (1992). *Codependent no more : how to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself.* Taylor & Francis. 6. Kwon, S. (2022, April 28). *Collective or Codependent? | Psychology Today Australia*. [Www.psychologytoday.com](http://www.psychologytoday.com). **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families, General Health --- ### [When Does Anger Need Counselling?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/when-does-anger-need-counselling/) **Published:** October 13, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** # **When Does Anger Need Counselling?** ## **Anger Management; Anger Counselling & Treatment, Symptoms and Costs** Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. Most people will experience anger infrequently throughout their lives. Anger has a very important evolutionary purpose that we still need today; It allows us to respond to threats with assertive behaviours. However, people with anger issues have difficulty managing the intensity and frequency of their responses. The first problem is that we judge a threat by subjective and sometimes illogical processes. People with anger issues often misinterpret harmless events as a threat, a threat to their safety, identity or sense of justice, etc. In situations where anger is a healthy response, they might respond excessively or even violently. They might also have difficulty regulating their response to anger in order to make smart decisions. #### How do I know I have a problem with anger? There are no official diagnostic criteria for anger issues. Unfortunately, some people only find out they have an anger issue when they have damaged a relationship or are in front of a judge. #### Here are some things to consider: - Is your anger hurting others? Emotionally or physically. - Does your anger cause you to do things you regret? - Have you hurt yourself? This could be intentional or incidental. - Does your anger lead to physical symptoms? Increased blood pressure, muscle tension or tingling sensation? - Do mundane situations make you feel heightened emotions? Rage, Frustration, Irritability - Are you known for having a quick fuse or a short temper? - Do you frequently find yourself in arguments that don’t involve you? Sometimes, we feel totally justified in our anger and actions. It could be very helpful to talk to a loved one, a friend, medical professional or community leader. #### Is it free or subsidised? Effective anger management courses will most likely involve a fee. This ensures that your treatment is provided by a trained professional. There are free services available for short term and crisis situations, including, [Mensline](https://mensline.org.au/): 1300 78 99 78 and [Beyond Blue](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/): 1300 22 4636. Anger Management courses like the ones run by The Three Seas are eligible for a Medicare rebate as well. #### What causes anger issues? - Mental Health Disorders: Depression, Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and PTSD are often correlated with anger management issues. People with these disorders struggle with distorted thinking or severe distress and can lash out in response. - Fixed Thinking: People who see the world in black and white can struggle with anger. Their strict sense of justice and right/wrong can mean they have a hard time letting go of minor infractions. - Genetics: Some people inherit increased physiological or neurological tendencies to react with aggression. - Learned response: We learn a lot of coping strategies from our parents. If we have witnessed anger as a default response, then we will likely adopt that and have few other options for healthy responses. - Cultural influence: Many cultures have unspoken or overt norms around anger. This includes the expected response to an insult. If you don’t respond in a certain way, they may be shamed or ostracised. #### What if I have a court mandate? Often anger management counselling is mandated or recommended by the courts. This might be in response to an assault, threats or destruction of property. In this scenario the judge needs to see serious efforts to reform behaviour. Although you might want to attend just to tick a box, it is an important time to consider what else you might need from anger management. #### Individual or Group Therapy? Both have been proven to be effective in treating anger issues. Psychologists and counsellors can provide individualised treatment. This typically involves a process of understanding your triggers and learning skills to manage your anger better. [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/) is often used because it addresses harmful perspectives (cognition) and behaviours too. This often involves learning mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Group treatment can be a great option for many reasons. Firstly, it’s often more cost effective. Secondly, you will be listened to and learn from people who have similar struggles. Lastly, sharing and listening to others will help you develop awareness and empathy. #### Upcoming Anger Management Courses The Three Seas have run many anger management [group courses](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/). Currently we are in the process of finalising the dates for our next course. Please call us on 9809 1000 to find out more. We also have many Psychologists and counsellors available across our four sites. Many of our practitioners can begin effective anger management treatment within a matter of weeks. Written by Will Sutherland References https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.html https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anger/treatment-and-support/#AngerManagementProgrammes https://www.healthline.com/health/anger-issues#treatment https://psychology.org.au/for-the-public/psychology-topics/managing-your-anger \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, Anger Counselling --- ### [What to do in a Mental Health Emergency](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-to-do-in-a-mental-health-emergency/) **Published:** November 13, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## A guide on what to do in a mental health emergency and what will happen next. In Australia we have many different mental health support options that cover all levels of risk. But the last thing anyone wants to be doing in a crisis is trying to figure out who to call. What to do in a mental health emergency? Below is a helpful guide of who to reach out to in different crisis situations. Each option is followed by a description of what to expect when you contact these services. ### **Immediate Risk of Danger (suicide or harm to someone else)** **Call 000.** *What happens next?* Emergency services will arrive at your location. Ambulance and police services are not experts in mental health treatment. However, they are sufficiently trained to handle high-risk mental health situations and can then take you to services who can provide ongoing care. ### **Someone is Injured** If it’s safe to do so, **take the injured person to hospital**. If you are not able to transport them, **call 000.** *What happens next?* There they will receive treatment for their injuries and mental health risks. ### **A Serious Mental Health Situation (but no immediate harm risk)** **Call the** **CATT [(Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team)](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/crisis-management).** Each CAT team dispatches mental health professionals to specific locations called catchments. To contact your local CAT team, call your nearest hospital. If you’re not sure where that is, then call the state specific phone number below for more information: ACTCall **1800 629 354**NSW Call **1800 011 511**NTCall **1800 682 288 QLDCall 1300 MH CALL (**1300 642255**)SACall **13 14 65 TASCall **1800 332 388 VICFind the appropriate phone number here: [mental health services in your area](http://www.health.vic.gov.au/mentalhealthservices) or call NURSE-ON-CALL on **1300 60 60 24**.WACall **1800 676 822***What happens next?* A trained team of mental health professionals (nurses, social workers, psychiatrists or psychologists) will be dispatched to your location. Due to their expertise the CAT team will be able to help you or someone else navigate difficult mental health crisis situations. For example; a psychotic episode, a ‘break down’ or feeling suicidal (but not an imminent risk). ### **Immediately Need to Talk to Someone** If you are not in immediate danger but do need to speak to someone immediately, **call a 24/7 helpline**. Some examples of no-charge helplines are: WhoHowWhen do I call?[**Lifeline**](http://www.lifeline.org.au/) Call **13 11 14** In a suicide or crisis situation, but don’t need emergency services.[**SuicideLine**](https://www.suicideline.org.au/) Call **1300 651 251** I’m experiencing suicidal thoughts.*Or* A loved one is suicidal and I want to talk about it. [**Kids Help Line**](http://www.kidshelpline.com.au/)Call **1800 55 1800** For children and adolescents (5-25)someone to talk to.[**Poisons Information**](http://www.austin.org.au/page?ID=524)Call **131 126** If you have overdosed, been poisoned or made a mistake with your medications.[**Sane Australia**](https://www.sane.org/)Call **1800 187 263**Need help with a complicated mental health situation (schizophrenia, manic episode, Complex PTSD).### **I can’t see my psychologist for a while but I need to talk** The helplines above are suitable in crisis situations. However, other services offer 24/7 helplines when you need to talk but aren’t necessarily in crisis. Many of these services provide demographic specific services too. WhoHowWhen[**Mensline Australia**](https://www.mensline.org.au/) Call **1300 78 99 78** For Men who want help discussing life stressors, relationship and family issues.[**Beyond Blue**](http://www.beyondblue.org.au/)Call **1300 22 4636** For anyone experiencing difficulty from anxiety or depression.[**13 YARN**](https://www.13yarn.org.au/)Call **13 92 76**For Indigenous Australians who want to have a yarn when they’re feeling worried or no good.It’s always worth considering talking to a friend or loved one too. Especially now, people are more willing to discuss mental health concerns and everyday difficulties. Sometimes just sending someone a message or asking them ‘hey can we talk’ is a great place to start. ### **I’m not in crisis now but I think I may be at risk in future** A successful prevention strategy is to **create a Suicide Safety Plan**. This involves creating a document with strategies and resources that can be accessed in a crisis. This can be created by yourself, with a loved one or with a health professional. This can include deep breathing exercises, a list of things to look forward to and helplines. Beyond Blue even has an[ app](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning) which anyone can use to create a Suicide Safety Plan. **References** 1. 2. 3. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [How do I get help without my parents knowing?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-do-i-get-help-without-my-parents-knowing/) **Published:** November 26, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **How do I get help without my parents knowing?** During your teenage years, it’s normal to start becoming more independent from your parents or guardian. Even they will remember being a teenager and wanting to take responsibility for their own decisions. In some areas it’s clear when you can and can’t become independent. You may be wondering how do I get help without my parents knowing? You can’t drive on your own until you are old enough and have done enough hours. However, if you want help with mental health without your parents’ involvement or without them knowing at all, it can be a bit more confusing. Below we’ll explore a number of situations and questions you can consider to figure out what you want to do. Firstly, if you are in immediate danger and don’t feel comfortable talking to a parent or guardian, please call 000. If it’s not an emergency but you don’t feel safe or okay, then check out our page on different types of emergency mental health services. ### **What medical professionals can I see on my own?** Before you turn 18 there are some scenarios where you can see a GP without your parents’ involvement. All of these depend on how serious the issue is and whether the GP thinks you are mature enough to make a decision. Generally, they will have no problem seeing you independently for simple issues like common colds, minor viruses (e.g. the flu) or acne. Additionally, you can also see your GP for concerns around sexual health and pregnancy, without your parents knowing. This is because they understand there are reasons why teenagers might not want their parents to be involved due to their parents’ religious, cultural or personal reasons. ### **What if I want to see someone for my mental health?** Similarly, before you turn 18 there are some scenarios where you can see a psychologist or counsellor without your parents’ involvement. The main question they will consider is whether you are able to give informed consent. Which means, do you understand what you are signing up for, including the benefits and consequences. This is not a black and white rule and ultimately comes down to the psychologist’s expert opinion. Another thing they will consider is something called mandatory reporting. Which means, if they believe you are in danger or someone else is in danger due to your situation, they must report it to your parents and in some cases the police. ### **Why do people want my parents involved?** Teenage years are often some of the hardest. Most adults will recognise that it’s important to receive support during this time. Especially if you are experiencing mental health challenges. Research strongly suggests that, on average, involving parents is best for the teenager. However, this is a statistic and might not be true for your situation. In reality, what is most important is to receive support when you need it. This might be from friends, teachers, medical professionals or websites. ### **Are there online or anonymous services?** Yes! We are living in a great time for mental health support. This includes seeing a professional face to face, talking anonymously over the phone and engaging in online programs. We’ve already discussed seeing professionals face to face, so let’s move on to anonymous and online options. If you are experiencing severe symptoms in this moment like thinking about suicide, hurting yourself or feeling really overwhelmed, you can call [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) on 13 11 14 or [Kids helpline](https://kidshelpline.com.au/) on 1800 55 1800 (By Kids they mean anyone under 25). If you call Lifeline or Kids helpline, you will be connected to a helpful professional who is happy to talk through your problems with you. They will also be able to provide suggestions for additional help. When you call one of these services you will be automatically assigned to a person, if you call again it will likely be a different person. If you would like to get some help but it’s not urgent, consider creating a profile with [headspace](https://headspace.org.au/). Headspace is a fantastic youth run organisation which offers in person counselling, phone counselling and online activities. [Reach Out](https://au.reachout.com/) is another awesome platform that has forums, exercises and ways to connect with others who are going through similar issues. Their website is designed for young people, with an easy interactive website (see below). ![how do I get help without my parents knowing](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Picture2.png) **References** Australian Psychological Society. (2018*).* Ethical guidelines for working with young people. Code of Ethics. Melbourne: Author. Bird, S. (2011). Consent to medical treatment: the mature minor. *Australian Family Physician*, *40*(3), 159-160. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents --- ### [When ADHD Significantly Impacts Your Life](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/adhd-when-inattentiveness-hyperactivity-and-impulsivity-significantly-impact-your-life/) **Published:** December 7, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## ADHD – When Inattentiveness, Hyperactivity and Impulsivity Significantly Impact Your Life Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder affects around 5% of adults and 10% of children1. Symptoms of ADHD can include inattentiveness, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. All people, especially children, experience these symptoms to some degree but for those with ADHD these symptoms significantly affect functioning in their academic, occupational or social life2. Rates of ADHD diagnosis have risen by a third for boys and girls in the last 5 years3. There are three key diagnostic types of ADHD that are defined by the predominant symptoms a person experiences (see table below). ### Specific diagnosis2 TypeExample of symptomsPredominantlyInattentiveness Low attention to detail, difficulty focusing during presentations or conversations and seems to be daydreaming (in the absence of an obvious distraction.PredominantlyHyperactivity and Impulsivity Fidgeting and squirming, difficulty remaining seated when required, difficulty engaging in leisure activities quietly. Is often “on the go” and interrupting or intruding on others.CombinedWhen a person fits the diagnostic criteria for Inattentive and Hyperactivity/Impulsivity.Unspecified ADHDWhen someone meets some but not all the required criteria for ADHD. Must also experience significant functioning issues in life.### **Gaps in Diagnosis** There is a significant difference in the rates of ADHD diagnoses between boys and girls and between Native English Speakers and non-English [speakers.](https://www.adhdaustralia.org.au) However, research suggests this is largely due to under or misdiagnosis in non-whites and women. ### **Difficulty in diagnosis** Despite the increased rates of diagnosis, an ADHD assessment is typically a long process and can be hard to find. There are some neuro-biological similarities in those with ADHD, however there is no biological test that produces a clear diagnosis. Therefore, like many Psychological Disorders, ADHD relies on the diagnosis of a psychiatrist or psychologist based on the DSM-V or ICD-10. Not all diagnosticians will conduct ADHD assessments, this is largely due to the implications of a diagnosis. Namely, ADHD medications are amphetamines, which are very effective at treating ADHD however they can be highly addictive and easily abused by those without ADHD4. The diagnostic process is there to ensure the patient will benefit from this medication whilst minimising the risks involved. ### **ADHD Assessments** Practitioners will conduct a thorough assessment of symptoms, functioning and childhood symptoms when considering an ADHD diagnosis. Often, they will ask for input from family members or teachers. Typically, the assessment will require between 3-4 hours of interview (broken up into 1-2 hour sessions) and then an extensive report written by the practitioner. This process requires a lot of work and expertise, so expect to pay a significant amount for it. ### **Overdiagnosis or Misdiagnosis** It’s commonly believed that ADHD is overdiagnosed, yet there’s no research to support this. This seems to be largely linked to a distrust of the medical field and a misunderstanding of the disorder. Without understanding that ADHD medication is life-changing for many people, the concept of giving amphetamines to children might be confronting. #### Women and Girls Women and girls with ADHD have been consistently underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed compared to boys1. There are several theories as to why this is the case. Firstly, girls tend to be better or more motivated to hide their ADHD behaviours by Masking, which is the ability to observe and mimic the social behavioural norms around them. Whilst this can help them to fit in, Masking can be exhausting and can make diagnosis more difficult. Secondly, women and girls are more likely to present with Inattentive ADHD, whereas boys are more likely to present with Hyperactive or Impulsive ADHD. The latter two are more obvious as they can result in loud and disruptive behaviours. Despite this disparity of diagnosis, the gender gap is decreasing4. ### **Treatment** Treatment primarily involves medication and psychotherapy. Medication is reserved for those who are officially diagnosed, however psychotherapy is available to anyone who has identified that they experience some of these symptoms or difficulty in functioning. For more information about [The Three Seas ADHD assessment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/) or psychology and counselling to assist with ADHD symptoms call 9809 1000. Alternatively fill out the [online enquiry form](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Do I Have Depression?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/do-i-have-depression/) **Published:** December 27, 2022 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Do I Have Depression? #### *What is it and how to Spot it.* ### What is depression? We all experience ups and downs in how we feel and how motivated we are. However, for some, those experiences can fluctuate much higher, lower or last for much longer. When this happens for a period greater than two weeks and significantly affects a person’s ability to function it’s considered an Affective Disorder. Affective Disorders include Major Depression, Bipolar and Dysthymia. Major Depression is probably the closest to what people think of when people think of depression. Whereas, Bipolar includes periods of hyper or hypo mania (elevated mood and motivation) and Dysthymia is a less severe depression that lasts for much longer than a typical Depressive Episode1. ### The Most Common Affective Disorder Major Depressive Episodes are the most common Affective disorder in Australia and are the third highest overall mental health condition2. A Major Depressive Episode is a period of sustained sadness and/or lack of enjoyment in activities that previously provided pleasure, which lasts longer than two weeks1. It also commonly involves noticeable changes, such as: - Weight loss or gain, unrelated to diet and exercise - Reduced thinking and movement speed, observed by others - Feeling fatigued or low in energy nearly every day - Feeling worthless or excessively guilty when inappropriate - Indecisiveness or difficulty concentrating - Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation ### How depression might show up or keep going. #### Automatic Negative thoughts: ‘I suck, the world is terrible, and it will never change’ People with Major Depression tend to hold negative beliefs about themselves, the world and the future. For example, ‘I am an idiot, everyone is so mean to me and it will never change’. These negative thought patterns can reduce their motivation to engage in behaviours that protect against depression (e.g. exercise or healthy eating). The influence of negative thoughts and unhelpful behaviours have a reciprocal effect which leads to a deeper depression. If a loved one is experiencing this state, it’s important not to reject or belittle their experience. Obviously, you will disagree that they ‘are an idiot’, however telling them that their belief is wrong may further their feeling of stupidity. Instead try asking what is going on for them and responding with an honest reflection of how hard it must be to be experiencing that. #### Attribution: ‘Good things happened by chance, bad things happen because I suck’ An important part of being human is causal attribution. Causal attribution is what we perceive to be the cause of a particular event. In some instances, we can spend a lot of time examining the evidence which indicates the true cause of an incident. However, as this is quite time-consuming, we tend to make a lot of quick assumptions around the causes of most events. People with depressive tendencies tend to skew towards a pessimistic attributional style. This involves believing that positive outcomes are the result of random chance or external causes, whereas negative events are their fault (3). For example, if they get high grades in school or a promotion at work, they will tend to believe it was luck or a mistake, however if they get a low grade or are passed over for a promotion, they will likely believe they deserved it. Many of the psychotherapy treatments for depression concentrate on understanding and challenging the underlying negative beliefs that can perpetuate depression. These include psychodynamic therapy, cognitive behaviour therapy, and schema therapy. However, they each operate in different ways. #### Anhedonia One of the main symptoms of major depression is Anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure. Specifically in the activities that previously brought pleasure. Oftentimes when someone is experiencing a depressive episode, they might hide the symptoms of sadness or low mood. Whereas anhedonia can be easier to spot in a person’s behaviour. For example, they might stop seeing their friends, exercising or engaging in a hobby. During a depressive episode a person’s negative thoughts and beliefs will make them feel like there is no longer a point engaging in that activity. If they believe they ‘suck’ and that it will never get better, then going for a walk or seeing a friend will feel pointless. In these circumstances it might be appropriate to suggest alternative activities that could bring them some joy instead of forcing them to re-engage in the activities they previously enjoyed. Psychotherapy and various antidepressant medications can be very helpful in navigating bouts of anhedonia until they are able to re-engage in those activities or find equally beneficial alternatives. For people experiencing [depressive symptoms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-quiz/) or clinical affective disorders help is available at The Three Seas Psychology. Please call us on 9809 1000 or submit an online enquiry [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] References 1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). American Psychiatric Association. 2. *National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing, 2020-21 | Australian Bureau of Statistics*. (2022, July 22).[ *Www.abs.gov.au*](http://www.abs.gov.au).[ *https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/mental-health/national-study-mental-health-and-wellbeing/latest-release#prevalence-of-mental-disorders*](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/mental-health/national-study-mental-health-and-wellbeing/latest-release#prevalence-of-mental-disorders) 3. *Can Attributional Style Impact Depression?* (2022, May 13). Psych Central.[ *https://psychcentral.com/depression/attributional-style-and-depression-how-your-explanations-influence-your-mood#definition*](https://psychcentral.com/depression/attributional-style-and-depression-how-your-explanations-influence-your-mood#definition) 4. Beyond Blue. (2021). *Beyond Blue*. Beyondblue.org.au; Beyond Blue.[ https://www.beyondblue.org.au/](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/) **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [The Physical Symptoms of Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-physical-symptoms-of-depression/) **Published:** January 11, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## It’s Not Just In Your Head – The Physical Symptoms of Depression The emotional and cognitive symptoms of Depression co-occur with severe physical symptoms. Four of the nine diagnostic criteria for Depression are physical: changes in sleep, weight, psychomotor abilities and physical fatigue1. Those with Depression can be three to four times more likely to experience comorbid psychomotor, musculoskeletal and inflammatory diseases1. Although the two predominant symptoms involve mood and cognition, physical symptoms can be easier to observe. Therefore, they may be more useful in noticing a depressive episode in yourself or someone else. Research suggests that depression is the result of a combination of biological, physiological and social factors. Recently more attention has been paid to the co-occurrence of physical and psychological symptoms of depression. It’s well known that the physical and psychological symptoms of depression exacerbate each other, for example, physical fatigue stop someone from engaging in activities that boost their mood. Recently research has linked the co-occurrence of the psychological and some of the physical symptoms of depression to dysregulation of neurotransmitters (serotonin and norephedrine) and inflammation in the body2. #### Sleep and Fatigue A symptom of Depression is a change to regular sleep patterns experienced most days for more than two weeks. This can either be increased (Hypersomnia) or decreased (Insomnia) hours of sleep as well as difficulties breathing during sleep (Obstructive Sleep Apnoea)­3. It’s estimated that 75% of adults with depression also experience insomnia4. Notably, those with hypersomnia often don’t feel rested even after a long period of sleep. Another symptom of Depression is feeling fatigued or a loss of energy most days for at least two weeks. This is likely due to the dysregulation of serotonin and norephedrine, amongst other factors5. Many antidepressants assist in the release of serotonin and some additionally affect norephedrine. Serotonin is associated with calm, sleep and mood regulation whereas norepinephrine with attention and energy levels. #### Weight There are many reasons for weight changes including aging, hormones and lifestyle factors. For those with depression weight changes can occur for multiple reasons6. Firstly, changes in mood and stress that leads to depression can change dietary and exercise habits. People often eat excessive or unhealthy food in response to low mood or distress. Those with depression also lose motivation and interest in previously pleasurable activities, especially those with a delayed reward-like exercise. This combination paired with irregular sleep patterns often leads to fluctuations in weight. Everybody is different and depression manifests differently. Those with predispositions around disordered body image and food may start to lose weight, which is also highly correlated with depression. Unfortunately, some anti-depressants prescribed for depression can cause weight gain. Luckily there are many types of antidepressant treatments with differing side effects. #### Psychomotor Agitation and Retardation Another symptom of depression is psychomotor retardation or agitation. This involves changes in movement and speech: Speech typically becomes slower, with more pauses, lower volume and less expressivity; Gross body movement of the limbs, torso and head is slowed; Eye movement becomes more static and eye contact is less frequent; Posture tends to be more slumped7. #### Pain Those with depression are more likely to experience specific and general physical pain that has no other medical cause2. They also tend to have a lower pain tolerance and threshold8. It’s theorised that this is due to dysregulation of neurotransmitters and/or because of increased inflammation. Research suggests that inflammation is a contributing factor to depression and its resulting fatigue and pain. Those with depression frequently report headaches, back and neck pain. Women with depression may experience more severe period pain as well. #### Psychosomatic Manifestation of Symptoms People with depression often identify their physical symptoms before their psychological ones. If someone goes to their doctor for physical symptoms it can be upsetting to hear it’s caused by a psychological issue9. People tend to interpret this as ‘all in their head’ and not real. For those with depression, who often experience unnecessary guilt and shame, this idea can reinforce feelings of unworthiness and hopelessness towards the possibility of recovery1. Yet psychosomatic symptoms are real and can be just as severe as those that stem from diseases in the rest of the body2. The public perception of psychosomatic symptoms stems from the same bias that made amputation and physical scarring easier to discuss than Shell Shock (PTSD) in World War 1 and 2. Psychosomatic symptoms are more common in cultures where mental health is a taboo10. It’s often theorised that when internal distress is not able to be expressed in healthy ways it is forced to present in physical problems. The research into psychosomatic symptoms is challenged because it can present itself in vastly different ways depending on the person. #### In Summary The symptoms of depression stretch far beyond the psychological. Often physical symptoms can be easier to spot at the beginning of a depressive episode. Despite public bias against psychosomatic symptoms, these are just as valid and significant in recovery from depression. For someone without a history of depression, I considered myself well informed about the symptoms and pain that it can cause. Writing this article has opened my eyes to the many ways in which it can affect a person’s life. My respect for anyone who works their way through this disorder has doubled. If you or someone else needs help with their Depression or other mental health difficulties, please contact us at 9809 1000 or submit an online enquiry [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-existing-customer/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] ##### References American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders : DSM-5. American Psychiatric Association. Steffen, A., Nübel, J., Jacobi, F. et al. Mental and somatic comorbidity of depression: a comprehensive cross-sectional analysis of 202 diagnosis groups using German nationwide ambulatory claims data. BMC Psychiatry 20, 142 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02546-8 Schimelpfening, N. (2019). Physical Effects of Depression. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/physical-effects-of-depression-1066890 Nutt, D., Wilson, S., & Paterson, L. (2008). Sleep disorders as core symptoms of depression. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 10(3), 329–336. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2008.10.3/dnutt Newsom, R. (2020). Depression and Sleep. Sleep Foundation. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/mental-health/depression-and-sleep McMillen, M. (2021, August 20). Does Depression Cause Weight Gain or Weight Loss? What’s the Depression/Weight Connection? WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/depression-and-weight-connection Buyukdura, J. S., McClintock, S. M., & Croarkin, P. E. (2011). Psychomotor retardation in depression: biological underpinnings, measurement, and treatment. Progress in neuro-psychopharmacology & biological psychiatry, 35(2), 395–409. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pnpbp.2010.10.019 Schimelpfening, N. (2019). Physical Effects of Depression. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/physical-effects-of-depression-1066890 Zambito Marsala, S., Pistacchi, M., Tocco, P., Gioulis, M., Fabris, F., Brigo, F., & Tinazzi, M. (2015). Pain perception in major depressive disorder: A neurophysiological case–control study. Journal of the Neurological Sciences, 357(1-2), 19–21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jns.2015.06.051 O’Sullivan, S. (2017). When the Body Speaks | Psychology Today Australia. Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/201701/when-the-body-speaks **Categories:** Blog, Depression **Tags:** clinical depression, depression, depression symptoms, psychologist near me --- ### [Couples Counselling: Does it Work or Just End in Divorce?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/couples-counselling-does-it-work-or-just-end-in-a-more-expensive-divorce/) **Published:** January 27, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Couples Counselling: Does it Work or Just End in a More Expensive Divorce? Couples Counselling: Does it Work or Just End in a More Expensive Divorce? Even in the most solid partnerships, hurdles and tense phases are inevitable. Amidst the peak of the 2020 lockdowns, there was a staggering 314% surge in couples contemplating separation1. With 60% of Australian adults being in committed relationships2, it’s noteworthy that 50% of them have sought assistance from a couples therapist3. Below I’ve addressed some frequently asked questions people have before seeking help. #### **Does Couples Counselling Work?** A 2020 review of couples therapy effectiveness showed a consistently large effect on relationship satisfaction, self-reported and observed communication, emotional intimacy, and partner behaviours4. These results were sustained over short- and long-term periods too. For 25-30% of couples who attend counselling their relationship will end or not improve5. It is important to remember that this statistic also includes some relationships with abuse and should not be considered a loss if they end. #### **Do Women and Men Benefit from going to a Couples Counsellor?** Some studies have found greater effects in heterosexual relationships for women than men6. However, there is no difference between the improved level of relationship satisfaction experienced by men and women. #### **Is this just for straight couples?** The Medical and Behavioural sciences have a poor record for treating queer and gender diverse peoples. In recent decades the Australian Psychology Society has worked hard to rectify this and improve their engagement with gender-non-conforming and non-heteronormative people. Couples’ counsellors go through extensive and continued training to ensure they are respectful of all relationships. #### **Will they make us get divorced?** Short answer is no. However, if abuse is uncovered by the counsellor, they are mandated to report it to the authorities. They will then likely encourage the abused to leave the relationship. In other circumstances it would be inappropriate for a counsellor to suggest divorce unless you had highlighted it’s what you wanted. #### How to Choose a Relationship Counsellor in Melbourne? When selecting a couples counsellor in Melbourne, it’s crucial to consider factors such as experience, approach, and compatibility with your needs. The Three Seas Psychology stands out in the realm of couples counselling Melbourne, offering expert guidance and a tailored approach to address relationship challenges. Our dedicated team prioritises understanding and supporting each couple’s unique journey. For more information please call [9809 1000](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/). \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] References 1. *Separation advice soars during lockdown*. (2020, June 12). The Separation Guide. [*https://theseparationguide.com.au/separation-advice-soars-during-lockdown-sydney-morning-herald-feature/*](https://theseparationguide.com.au/separation-advice-soars-during-lockdown-sydney-morning-herald-feature/) 1. Wallis, S. (2021, June 2). *Marriage and divorce statistics 2021*. Finder.com.au. 2. Department of Health & Human Services. (2022). *Personal and relationship services*. [Www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au](http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au). 3. Roddy, M. K., Walsh, L. M., Rothman, K., Hatch, S. G., & Doss, B. D. (2020). Meta-analysis of couple therapy: Effects across outcomes, designs, timeframes, and other moderators. *Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 88*(7), 583–596. [https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000514](https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/ccp0000514) 4. Hunter, C., & Commerford, J. (2015). *Relationship education and counselling: recent research findings* \[Report\]. Australian Institute of Family Studies. 5. Javadivala, Z., Allahverdipour, H., Asghari Jafarabadi, M. *et al.* Improved couple satisfaction and communication with marriage and relationship programs: are there gender differences?—a systematic review and meta-analysis. *Syst Rev* **10**, 178 (2021). **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Valentine’s Day: Finding Connection in your Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/valentines-day-finding-connection-in-your-relationship/) **Published:** February 27, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ### Valentine’s Day: Finding connection in your relationship beneath the roses and chocolates. This year Australians will spend an estimated 485 million dollars celebrating Valentine’s day1. The average couple will spend $108 dollars, cards bought at supermarket checkouts to a $350,000 Lamborghini. The most common gifts bought are flowers (47%) followed by chocolates (29%) and sex toys (7%). Australians celebrate Valentine’s day in ways as varied as the varieties of flowers and [sex toys](https://chantelleotten.com) on offer. For some, the day is forgotten before the rose has wilted and the chocolate eaten. For others, it is an important day that involves elaborate planning and high expectations. Whichever route a couple takes, there are many psychological factors that can lead to a happy or horrible valentines day – and even breakups. Below are some research examples of those factors that may guide you and your valentine towards a successful day. #### **Know your Partner** The old adage ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ is unequipped to deal with the variations of identities and partners in 2023. However, the sentiment that opposites attract, may be worth considering. Often people will be attracted to someone who has a complimentary personality to them, especially in terms of raising a family and living a fulfilling life. Comedian Bill Burr says ‘Every relationship has the person that will tie the trash bag and then leave it slumped against the counter… and the person that actually takes it out’. The main takeaway is: taking the time to consider what you know about your partner may prove invaluable. Consider how they tend to communicate their wants and needs, not how you would like them to communicate. Are they clear about what they want? #### Love Languages Test A commonly used relationship tool is the [Love Languages test](https://5lovelanguages.com/). The test does not have a consistent level of validity compared to other psychometric tests 2, however, when taken with a grain of salt it can be helpful. The test will identify your preferred method of receiving love and for giving love. These are gift giving, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and quality time. Although it has inconsistent statistical support for its validity, many couples do find it helpful in remembering their partner may operate differently from them. #### **Attachment Style** A [psychometric test](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/) that is highly supported by research is Attachment Styles. An attachment style is developed in childhood and informs how you respond to intimacy. It is a complicated paradigm but in short people can be avoidant attached (distancing themselves from those who show them love), anxious attached (wanting constant reassurance that they are loved) or secure attached (a healthy balance of engagement and distance in their relationships). A recent study found that Valentine’s day enhanced the perception of those in a relationship for those with secure or anxious attachment styles3. However, those with avoidant attachment style are more likely to experience a decrease in relationship satisfaction or a desire to invest in their relationship on Valentine’s day. So, if your partner feels overwhelmed by overt displays of commitment, you may want to hold off on the roses. #### **Personality Traits** Similarly, another study found that personality traits can influence how we react to Valentine’s day4. Those with a high level of neuroticism tended to pre-empt and experience a more negative experience of Valentine’s Day. Those who are high in extraversion tended to pre-empt and experience a more positive experience of Valentine’s Day. There might not be much you can do to combat this. However, lowering your expectations of the day might help if you or your partner tend to be more neurotic and introverted. #### **Breaking up on Valentine’s Day** A study found that during the week of Valentine’s day, couples were more likely to break up compared to a typical week5. However, this was found to be more frequent in couples who were already likely to break up soon. If you find yourself in this situation and need support, please feel free to reach out to one of our many relationship expert [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) at The Three Seas. Overwhelming studies seem to suggest that our individual differences in personality and psychology make a huge difference in how we experience and anticipate Valentine’s day. Although there is no right or wrong way, it is important to try to cater any ideas you have to suit you and your partner. Finally, behind the Lamborghini and the chocolates, Valentine’s day is an opportunity to reflect on the importance of your relationship and express that to your partner. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] 1. Valentine’s Day set to bring $485m spending boom as lovers celebrate their freedom 2. Surijah, Edwin & Septiarly, Yashinta. (2016). Construct Validation of Five Love Languages. Anima Indonesian Psychological Journal. 31. 65-76. 10.24123/aipj.v31i2.565. 3. Chopik, W. J., Wardecker, B. M., & Edelstein, R. S. (2014). Be Mine: Attachment avoidance predicts perceptions of relationship functioning on Valentine’s Day. *Personality and Individual Differences*, *63*, 47-52. [https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.01.035](https://doi.org/https:/doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.01.035) 4. Hoerger, M., & Quirk, S. W. (2010). Affective forecasting and the Big Five \[Article\]. *Personality and Individual Differences*, *49*(8), 972-976. 5. Morse, K. A., & Neuberg, S. L. (2004). How do holidays influence relationship processes and outcomes? Examining the instigating and catalytic effects of Valentine’s Day \[Review\]. *Personal Relationships*, *11*(4), 509-527. 9-527. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2004.00095.x **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling --- ### [What Predicts Relationship Satisfaction?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-predicts-relationship-satisfaction/) **Published:** March 26, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** In part two of our series on relationships, what predicts relationship satisfaction? Appreciation. At the Three Seas, we know that appreciation is an essential ingredient in maintaining healthy and happy romantic relationships. In fact, research has shown that appreciation is one of the key predictors of relationship satisfaction and longevity1. In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of appreciation in romantic relationships and provide practical tips on how to incorporate appreciation into your daily routine. ## **Appreciation reduces stress and promotes mental health** Appreciation can also have a positive impact on mental health. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude and appreciation can reduce stress, depression, and anxiety2. When we feel appreciated, we experience positive emotions such as joy and contentment, which can help to promote overall well-being. ## **Appreciation improves communication and reduces conflict** Effective communication is essential for a healthy and strong relationship. When we appreciate our partner, we create a safe and supportive environment for communication3. This helps to reduce misunderstandings and conflict, and fosters a deeper understanding and connection between partners. ## **Appreciation fosters a culture of love and respect** Appreciation is a key ingredient in creating a culture of love and respect in a relationship4. When we appreciate our partner, we demonstrate our love and respect for them, which helps to create a sense of trust and security. This can lead to a stronger emotional connection, increased intimacy, and a deeper sense of love and commitment. In conclusion, appreciation is an essential aspect of a healthy and strong romantic relationship. By expressing appreciation for our partner’s positive qualities and actions, we can create a positive and supportive environment, promote mental health, improve communication, and foster a culture of love and respect. ## So how can you incorporate appreciation into your daily routine? ### Here are some practical tips: 1. Make a conscious effort to express gratitude and appreciation for your partner every day. This could be a simple thank-you for making dinner or a heartfelt expression of gratitude for their love and support. 2. Look for opportunities to compliment your partner and acknowledge their strengths and qualities. This could be a compliment on their appearance, their intelligence, or their kindness. 3. Write a love letter or a note expressing your appreciation for your partner. This is a great way to express your feelings and show your partner how much you care. 4. Practice active listening and validate your partner’s feelings and emotions. This shows that you value and respect their perspective, which is an important aspect of appreciation. ### Summary: Appreciation is Key appreciation is a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy and happy romantic relationship. By expressing gratitude and appreciation for your partner, you can create a positive emotional climate, build trust and intimacy, reduce conflict, and improve your mental health and wellbeing. So take the time to appreciate your partner today, and watch your relationship thrive! If you want to dive in deeper on this topic, [Jay Shetty](https://www.amazon.com/Rules-Love-How-Find-Keep/dp/B0BBRTNK3Y/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=relationship+books&qid=1679799630&s=books&sr=1-3) has a fantastic book. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **References** 1. Joel, S., Eastwick, P. W., Allison, C. J., Arriaga, X. B., Baker, Z. G., Bar-Kalifa, E., Bergeron, S., Birnbaum, G. E., Brock, R. L., Brumbaugh, C. C., Carmichael, C. L., Chen, S., Clarke, J., Cobb, R. J., Coolsen, M. K., Davis, J., De Jong, D. C., Debrot, A., Dehaas, E. C., . . . Wolf, S. (2020). Machine learning uncovers the most robust self-report predictors of relationship quality across 43 longitudinal couples studies. *Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences*, *117*(32), 19061-19071. 2. Monin JK, Poulin MJ, Brown SL, Langa KM. Spouses’ daily feelings of appreciation and self-reported well-being. Health Psychol. 2017 Dec;36(12):1135-1139. doi: 10.1037/hea0000527. Epub 2017 Jul 20. PMID: 28726476; PMCID: PMC5800303. 3. Davoodvandi M, Navabi Nejad S, Farzad V. Examining the Effectiveness of Gottman Couple Therapy on Improving Marital Adjustment and Couples’ Intimacy. Iran J Psychiatry. 2018 Apr;13(2):135-141. PMID: 29997659; PMCID: PMC6037577. **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, couples retreat, marriage counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [AI Psychotherapy: A Promising Development or a Doomed Future?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/ai-psychotherapy-a-promising-development-or-a-doomed-future/) **Published:** June 22, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** AI Psychotherapy: promising development or doomed future? exploring benefits and challenges. Discover the intriguing integration of artificial intelligence (AI) in psychotherapy. Despite being in early stages, AI’s potential to transform [mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/pregnancy-mental-health-understanding-prenatal-postpartum-depression-anxiety-issues/) treatment is immense. In this blog post, we explore the exciting possibilities of AI in psychotherapy, highlighting its benefits and addressing potential challenges. Join us as we navigate the intricacies of AI psychotherapy and its implications for the future of mental healthcare. ## **Potential Benefits of AI in Psychotherapy** ### Accessibility and Affordability in Mental Health One of the major advantages of AI in psychotherapy is its ability to expand [access to mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-to-access-affordable-mental-health-services-in-australia/) care. Virtual therapists powered by AI can be available anytime, anywhere, reducing the barriers associated with geographical limitations, long waiting lists, and high costs. This accessibility can provide support to individuals who [might otherwise struggle to access traditional therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/signs-you-might-need-therapy/) services. ### Personalised Mental Health Treatment Plans AI algorithms have the capacity to process vast amounts of data and identify patterns that may elude human therapists. By integrating information from various sources such as medical records, personal diaries, and wearable devices, AI can generate personalised treatment plans tailored to individual needs. This targeted approach can optimise therapeutic interventions and improve treatment outcomes. ### Enhanced Diagnostic Accuracy for Mental Illnesses Accurate diagnosis forms the foundation of effective therapy. AI algorithms can analyze a wide range of data, including verbal and non-verbal cues, speech patterns, and behavioral indicators, to aid in the diagnostic process. Machine learning algorithms can identify patterns and subtle markers of [mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-first-aid-5-things-to-do-when-you-need-to-feel-better-right-now/) conditions, assisting clinicians in making more accurate diagnoses and developing appropriate treatment strategies. ### Augmenting Therapist/ Psychologist Skills AI can serve as a valuable tool for therapists, complementing their skills and expertise. Natural language processing algorithms can analyze therapy session transcripts, providing insights into client responses, emotional markers, and potential areas of concern. This feedback can help therapists gain deeper insights and improve their therapeutic approaches, leading to more effective interventions. ## Potential Issues of AI in Psychotherapy ### Ethical Considerations The ethical implications of AI in psychotherapy cannot be overlooked. Privacy and data security must be prioritized to protect sensitive information shared by clients. Transparent and informed consent processes should be in place to ensure individuals understand how their data is used. Additionally, addressing issues of bias and fairness in AI algorithms is crucial to prevent potential harm or discrimination. ### Loss of Human Connection AI-powered virtual therapists may lack the human empathy and connection that are vital elements of the therapeutic process. While AI can provide valuable insights and support, it cannot fully replace the human-to-human interaction that many clients find essential for their healing journey. Striking the right balance between AI-driven tools and the presence of human therapists is essential for ethical and effective implementation. ### Limited Contextual Understanding AI algorithms primarily rely on data-driven analysis and may struggle to comprehend complex emotions or unique contextual factors that are central to psychotherapy. Understanding cultural nuances, interpersonal dynamics, and non-verbal cues require human intuition and sensitivity that AI may struggle to replicate fully. Human oversight and critical judgment are crucial to interpreting AI-generated insights appropriately. The potential use of AI in psychotherapy opens up exciting avenues for [improving mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/improve-your-mental-health-with-exercise/) care. From enhanced accessibility and personalized treatment plans to improved diagnostic accuracy and augmented therapist skills, AI can contribute significantly to the field. However, ethical considerations, the preservation of human connection, and the limitations of AI’s contextual understanding should be carefully addressed. By combining the strengths of [AI with the expertise of human therapists](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20211210-would-you-talk-to-an-ai-therapist), we can harness the full potential of this technology to create a future where [mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-media-bad-mental-health/) care is more accessible, effective, and compassionate. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, depression symptoms, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Exploring the Impact of Pet Ownership on Dating Preferences](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/exploring-the-impact-of-pet-ownership-on-dating-preferences/) **Published:** July 4, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Exploring the impact of pet ownership on dating preferences. Pets, particularly cats and dogs, have long been cherished companions for many individuals. But did you know that your choice of pet can predict who you end up date and who influence who you’re attracted to? In this blog post, we delve into the intriguing realm of pet ownership and its connection to dating preferences, specifically focusing on the age-old debate between cat lovers and dog people. Another study from ### Pet preference reveals personality traits? It’s commonly believed that dog people and cat people have fundamental differences in personality traits. Research from Alba and colleagues (2015) found that dog owners tend to be more preferred on social-dominance scales and competitiveness than cat lovers. One theory is that dog lovers prefer dogs because they align with social-dominance preferences as they can be trained and tend to respect hierarchy. Another study from Guastello and colleagues (2017) found that dog lovers were higher on warmth and extraversion whereas cat lovers were higher on general intelligence and self-reliance. ### Pet ownership, lifestyle and dating compatibility Owning a pet comes with specific lifestyle considerations. Dogs require regular exercise, outdoor activities, and structured routines, making them a suitable match for individuals with an active lifestyle. On the other hand, cats are generally more low-maintenance, making them a better fit for individuals with busier schedules or a preference for a more relaxed lifestyle. These lifestyle factors can influence dating preferences, as individuals may seek partners who align with their preferred pet ownership style. ### Do cat lovers/dog people care what their partner is? Research from Gray and colleagues (2015) looked into how cat and dog owners reacted to people that dislike their preference or don’t like either. They found that women were more likely than men to discriminate based on pet preferences. If their date did not like their pet or pets in general it more significantly influenced their choices. Evolutionary theorists [suggest this might](https://thethreeseas.com.au/managing-anxiety-study-suggests-trauma-more-prevalent-than-you-might-think/) be because women tend to view pet-preferences as an indication of parenting potential. ### Do cats or dogs help you get a date? Pets, particularly dogs, can serve as excellent conversation starters and icebreakers in social situations. Taking a dog for a walk in the park or attending dog-related events can provide opportunities for meeting new people and fostering connections. Similarly, shared interests and passions related to pet ownership, such as attending cat shows or volunteering at animal shelters, can create common ground and strengthen bonds between potential partners. ### Allergies and practical considerations when dating Allergies can significantly impact dating preferences when it comes to pet ownership. Some individuals may be allergic to cats or dogs, making it challenging to form [relationships with someone](https://thethreeseas.com.au/someone-love-abusive-relationship/) who owns a pet that triggers their allergies. Practical considerations such as housing restrictions or lifestyle factors, such as frequent travel, can also influence dating preferences, as individuals may seek partners who align with their pet ownership limitations or preferences. The variables of pet ownership, particularly the choice between cats and dogs, can [play a fascinating role](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-body-image-affects-your-relationship-and-the-role-men-play/) in dating preferences. Personality traits, lifestyle compatibility, emotional bonding, shared interests, and practical considerations all contribute to the complex dynamics at play. Whether you are a proud cat owner or a devoted dog lover, the important [thing is finding a partner who understands](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling-for-grief-five-things-you-need-to-understand-about-grief/) and appreciates your connection with your furry friend. So, embrace the joy of pet ownership, respect different preferences, and keep an open mind as you navigate the exciting world of dating and companionship. \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] **References** Alba, Beatrice & Haslam, Nick. (2015). Dog People and Cat People Differ on Dominance-Related Traits. Anthrozoos A Multidisciplinary Journal of The Interactions of People & Animals. 28. 10.2752/089279315X14129350721858. Gray, P.B., Volsche, S., Garcia, J.R., & Fisher, H.E. (2015). The Roles of Pet Dogs and Cats in Human Courtship and Dating. Anthrozoös, 28, 673 – 683. Guastello, Andrea & Guastello, Denise & Guastello, Stephen. (2017). Personality Differences between Dog People and Cat People. Human-animal interaction bulletin. 2017. 10.1079/hai.2017.0003. **Categories:** Blog, Couples and Families **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, couples counselling, couples retreat, psychologist near me, psychology, relationship counselling, therapy --- ### [Is Artificial Intelligence Dangerous for People with OCD?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/is-artificial-intelligence-dangerous-for-people-with-ocd/) **Published:** July 26, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## OCD and AI-ssurance Seeking Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), often referred to as The Doubting Disease, is a condition that impacts 3% of Australians, subjecting individuals to relentless Intrusive Thoughts that lead to severe distress. To alleviate these thoughts, individuals resort to compulsions, which typically involve repetitive actions, avoidance behaviors, and assurance seeking. In this blog article, we delve into the question: “Is Artificial Intelligence Dangerous for People with OCD?” Uncover the potential risks and benefits of integrating AI into the lives of those with OCD, exploring its impact on daily living, treatment options, and the significance of responsible AI implementation in supporting mental health. ### OCD Intrusive Thought Example and Assurance-Seeking Compulsion. Steve is bombarded with Intrusive Thoughts that he is a terrible human being and feels severe guilt from this. Steve hates these thoughts and the idea that he is a bad person. So, over time he has begun asking his friends ‘Am I a bad person?’ ‘Have I done anything to upset you?’. Now, Steve calls his friends multiple times a day to ask the same questions and frequently searches google for a definitive answer. In this example Steve is using the compulsion of assurance seeking to try and negate his intrusive thoughts, to prove them wrong. The problem is that when the brain receives this assurance it tends to strengthen the neural pathway of intrusive thought and compulsion. So the next time Steve has similar intrusive thoughts, he will likely feel even more compelled to get assurance. ### ChatGPT, Google Bard and OCD AI programs like ChatGPT and Google Bard have exploded in popularity. With chatgpt boasting 100 million users, which is growing by 10% each month. These programs offer people the chance to generate highly intelligent responses in seconds. For those with OCD this could present an opportunity for unlimited and instant reassurance. Whilst chatGPT has a fairly plain interface which might not compare to assurance from a friend, there are many AI alternatives that can provide other stimulation. For instance, character ai allows users to select a fictional, historical or contemporary figure with whom they want to talk to. So, people with OCD could choose to get reassurance from Brad Pit.ai, Doja Cat.ai or even Cleopatra.ai. Furthermore, AI technology now allows users to generate videos of these people speaking to them. All of this may make the likelihood of AI-susurance seeking more dangerous for someone with OCD. Especially, considering they are not actually talking to a friend who could encourage them to get professional help. ### Research on AI and OCD [Research](https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/chatgpt-artificial-intelligence-mental-health) into this area is non-existent due to the rapid rise in ai technology. However, there are signs from adjacent research that AI may be able to help those with OCD. Research into machine learning (ai for data) has already shown that it can detect depression by viewing someone’s tweets or their YouTube videos with > 80% accuracy. Furthermore, platforms like chatGPT seem to be working hard to make conscientious choices, such as refusing to engage in hate speech and terrorist related searches. Whilst the future of AI and how it may relate to OCD is uncertain (something people with OCD struggle with), in the short term it might be wise to use AI with caution. I have high hopes that AI developers will integrate psychological knowledge which could detect and even help those with OCD. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Redefining Feminism: The Barbie Movie and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/redefining-feminism-the-barbie-movie-and-mental-health/) **Published:** August 7, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** The newly released Barbie movie has sparked fervent discussions surrounding feminism and the changing role of women in society. America Ferrera’s powerful monologue, as reported in the Los Angeles Times, showcases the film’s dedication to [challenging stereotypes](https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/movies/story/2023-07-23/barbie-america-ferrera-monologue) and empowering women. As we delve into the impact of this thought-provoking speech, we also explore how the movie intertwines themes of mental health and self-empowerment. ## Embracing Diversity and Mental Well-being According to Health News, the Barbie movie’s commitment to representing diverse body types and backgrounds goes beyond societal standards; it addresses [mental well-being](https://healthnews.com/mental-health/self-care-and-therapy/barbie-movie-feminist-evolution/). The film recognises that unrealistic beauty ideals can have detrimental effects on mental health, particularly in young girls. By showcasing a more inclusive and accepting range of characters, the movie encourages viewers to embrace self-love and foster a positive [body image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/four-things-can-improve-body-image/), promoting mental well-being and self-acceptance. ## Challenging Stereotypes for Positive Mental Growth The [Time](https://time.com/6295515/barbie-feminism/) magazine article emphasises that dismantling stereotypes plays a significant role in mental health and empowerment. For too long, women have been confined to limiting roles, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. By challenging these stereotypes, the Barbie movie promotes positive mental growth, inspiring women to break free from limiting beliefs and pursue their passions without hesitation. ## Empowerment through Self-Care and Therapy As the Health News article highlights, the Barbie movie’s feminist evolution extends to discussions about self-care and therapy. In the film, Barbie models the importance of self-care and seeking help when needed. By normalising therapy and [mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/pregnancy-mental-health-understanding-prenatal-postpartum-depression-anxiety-issues/) practices such as mindfulness psychology, the movie encourages its audience to prioritise their emotional well-being and seek support when facing challenges, ultimately fostering resilience and empowerment. ## Gender Equality and Mental Health The Barbie movie’s advocacy for gender equality also [affects mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/retirement-can-affect-mental-health/). Gender inequalities can lead to feelings of worthlessness and frustration. However, by promoting gender equality, the film fosters an environment where women can feel validated and empowered, leading to [improved mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/improve-your-mental-health-with-exercise/) outcomes. ## Positive Female Relationships and Mental Resilience The Barbie movie’s emphasis on positive female relationships takes us back to the essence of girlhood and the unique connections formed during our formative years. Many films have explored girlhood through the lens of boys and puberty or focused on the mother-daughter relationship. Equally, the significance of Barbie for so many of us lies in the profound impact it had on our relationships with ourselves and our friends. Playing with Barbies was not merely about fashion and materialism; it was a window into our imagination, a reflection of our dreams and aspirations. Directed by a smart and feminist filmmaker like Gerwig, the new Barbie movie promises authentic portrayals of relationships. Its approach to foregrounding ambivalence, humor, and neon signals a willingness to explore friendship complexities. Recognizing the mutual support among friends, it profoundly impacts mental resilience. ## Barbie and Girlhood As the story unfolds, millions of girls’ intense, silly, and personal childhood play will be brought to life and acknowledged. This acknowledgment is an essential step towards validating and celebrating the experiences of countless individuals. Individuals who once found solace and companionship in their Barbie adventures. The royal Hollywood treatment of this cherished aspect of girlhood signifies that these connections are meaningful, worth exploring, and deserving of respect. Positive female relationships have an undeniable influence on mental well-being. The support and encouragement provided by friends during challenging times can act as a protective shield against mental health challenges. Whether it’s sharing dreams or simply having someone to lean on, the bonds formed during playtime can transcend into adulthood, helping individuals navigate life’s obstacles with greater resilience. The new Barbie movie aims for authentic portrayals of friendship, inspiring viewers to cherish their own relationships. Showcasing the strength and support from connections, it advocates for mental well-being and self-empowerment. ### Conclusion The Barbie movie, showcased in America Ferrera’s empowering monologue, offers hope for feminism, mental health, and women’s roles. Addressing diversity, challenging stereotypes, and promoting gender equality, it paves the way for a more inclusive future. By intertwining themes of mental well-being, self-care, and positive relationships, the film advocates nurturing emotional resilience and embracing true selves. The evolution of Barbie aligns with empowerment, mental health awareness, and a brighter future for women globally. Should any of these issues have resonated with you in terms of wanting to explore with a therapist, we are taking bookings with our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) across our four Melbourne locations. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Analyzing Masculine Psychology Through the Lens of "Barbie"](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/analyzing-masculine-psychology-through-the-lens-of-barbie/) **Published:** August 14, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Analyzing Masculine Psychology Through the Lens of “Barbie” ### Examining the Dynamics of Male Self-Esteem and Identity – [Misha Karipidis](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/michelle-misha-karipidis/ "MICHELLE (MISHA) KARIPIDIS – CBD, Fitzroy North & Richmond") In the thought-provoking “Barbie” movie, a nuanced portrayal of masculinity unfolds, shedding light on issues frequently encountered in clinical practice. Notably, Ryan Gosling’s portrayal of Ken highlights crucial aspects of male self-esteem and identity. We’re analyzing masculine psychology through the lens of “Barbie” in this blog. ### The Power of Gaze and Recognition Early in the movie, a pivotal distinction emerges between Ken and Barbie—the influence of Barbie’s gaze on Ken’s self-worth. Ken’s elation when acknowledged by Barbie underscores the substantial impact of her attention on his self-esteem. Conversely, his deflated demeanor when overlooked reflects a profound sense of shame and self-critique. This phenomenon closely parallels real-life situations observed in clinical contexts, particularly in [couples therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/when-couples-counselling-wont-work-5-signs-youre-not-ready-for-therapy/). The emphasis on a woman’s attention as a primary source of male validation echoes the experiences of men who grapple with feelings of rejection and isolation within [relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-body-image-affects-your-relationship-and-the-role-men-play/). Akin to the film’s portrayal, this dynamic often manifests in the realm of touch and intimacy. Men invest considerable emotional significance into their partner’s physical affection and sexual connection, leading to a pronounced sense of fulfillment or emptiness based on the frequency of these interactions. Recognizing this intricate interplay between recognition and self-worth can illuminate avenues for deeper exploration and understanding within therapeutic settings. ### From Loneliness to Sexual Longing The film aptly captures the transformation of existential solitude and anxiety into a pursuit of love and intimacy. Ken’s response to Barbie’s attempt to comfort him—misinterpreting it as an advance—exemplifies the conversion of emotional distress into a desire for physical closeness. This narrative mirrors the therapeutic process, where individuals may seek quick-fix solutions to address complex emotional states. The movie’s portrayal underscores the importance of genuine and authentic communication, suggesting that true healing transcends superficial gestures. Insofar as Barbie’s supportive approach, rather than yielding to Ken’s immediate desires, encourages self-discovery and personal growth. This approach resonates with effective therapeutic techniques that guide individuals toward managing their emotions independently, fostering authentic self-care, and nurturing genuine self-acceptance. ### Conclusion Incorporating these insights into clinical practice can offer clients a valuable framework for introspection and transformation. By addressing the intricate interplay between recognition, self-worth, and emotional responses, therapists can guide individuals toward a path of holistic self-discovery and self-care, mirroring the journey towards “Kenough” as depicted in the film. **Categories:** Blog, General Health, Individual **Tags:** counselling, psychologist near me, relationship counselling, therapist --- ### [YouTube: What Parents of Adolescents Should Know](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/youtube-what-parents-of-adolescents-should-know/) **Published:** August 18, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** YouTube: What Parents of Adolescents Should Know. Read on to discover more. The widespread adoption of YouTube among adolescents has prompted researchers to explore its potential advantages and drawbacks. With YouTube usage estimated at around 80% in developed countries (Ceci & Statista, 2023), the platform’s popularity soars even higher among adolescents, reaching 95% usage (Pew Research Center, 2022). This significant usage has raised concerns about the well-being of adolescents (Hasmin et al., 2023; Vahdati et al., 2022), as certain types of YouTube engagement have been linked to higher levels of [depressive symptoms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-physical-symptoms-of-depression/) (Chang & Ko, 2023). The potential connection between [social media](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-media-bad-mental-health/) usage and depression, particularly among adolescents, has further intensified these concerns (Orben, 2020). However, much of the existing research overlooks two critical variables that shape the relationship between YouTube use and adolescent depression: engagement type and support. ### **Engagement Type and its Impact** Passive Social Media Use (PSMU), content consumption without active engagement, relates to negative psychological outcomes (Verduyn et al., 2020). Active engagement yields positive effects, enhancing online/offline social connections (Bottaro & Faraci, 2022). YouTube’s content focus aligns with PSMU due to passive engagement (Zhang et al., 2020). Short-form videos (5-90 seconds) fuel YouTube addiction and Passive YouTube Use (PYU) (Wu et al., 2021). YouTube poses significant PSMU risk. PYU’s causal link with depression is unclear due to bidirectional associations (Cataldo et al., 2021). Research needed to explore causation for addressing detrimental effects of restricting/permitting PYU in depression. Universal vs. individual applicability of variables crucial. Bidirectional PYU-adolescent depression links noted, but confounding factors underexplored. ### **Individual Differences and Moderation** Individual differences are key in the interplay between PYU and depressive symptoms. Beyens et al. (2020) found 10% had depressed mood, while 46% improved mood with PYU, highlighting individual moderating effects. This underscores the need for pinpointing variables amplifying PYU-depression link. E.g., Lai et al. (2023) linked introversion-extraversion to effects on [social anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/coping-with-social-anxiety/). Further study required for depression. Cataldo et al. (2021) warn against artificially increasing PYU in experiments. Accurate approach: establish baseline PYU, monitor changes per depression’s episodic nature (APA, 2013). Novel methods like Alsagri & Ykhlef (2020), Sharma & Dey (2020) for social media use monitoring show promise. Adolescent depression’s connection to YouTube misconstrued as uniform (Valkenburg et al., 2022). Future focus: untangle individualized, episodic nature of depression and PYU. ### **Methods for Monitoring PYU and Depression** Monitoring an individual’s PYU and its potential impact on depression requires innovative approaches. Alsagri and Ykhlef (2020) and Sharma and Dey (2020) have reported encouraging findings in this realm. These methodologies pave the way for more accurate assessments of the interplay between YouTube engagement and adolescent well-being. As the episodic nature of depression is acknowledged, with episodes lasting a minimum of two weeks and ending within twelve months for most individuals (American Psychiatric Association, 2013), adopting techniques that capture fluctuations over time is crucial. These methodologies offer promise in unraveling the intricate associations between adolescent depression and YouTube engagement, specifically PYU. ### **Conclusion** Understanding the intricate relationship between YouTube engagement and [adolescent depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/) requires a nuanced approach. The type of engagement, individual differences, and episodic nature of depression all contribute to the complex web of interactions. Acknowledging these factors and utilizing novel monitoring methods will aid in deciphering the true impact of YouTube engagement on adolescent well-being. As researchers strive to shed light on this vital topic, parents can gain valuable insights into how their adolescents interact with YouTube, allowing for informed guidance and support. Adapted from: *The Nuanced Relationship Between YouTube Usage and Adolescent Depression.* ###### References ###### American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental ###### disorders : Dsm-5. American Psychiatric Association. ###### Beyens, I., Pouwels, J. L., van Driel, I. I., Keijsers, L., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2020). The ###### effect of social media on well-being differs from adolescent to adolescent. Scientific ###### Reports, 10(1), 10763. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-67727-7 ###### Bottaro, R., & Faraci, P. (2022). The use of social networking sites and its impact on ###### adolescents’ emotional well-being: A scoping review. Current Addiction Report, 9(4), ###### 518-539. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40429-022-00445-4 ###### Cataldo, I., Lepri, B., Neoh, M. J. Y., & Esposito, G. (2021). Social media usage and ###### development of psychiatric disorders in childhood and adolescence: A review ###### \[Systematic Review\]. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 11. ###### https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.508595 ###### Hasmin, N. A., Azizun, N., Amit, S. M., & Kadir, N. H. A. (2023). Detoxication of social ###### media addiction among adolescents through regulatory intervention. Journal of ###### Administrative Science, 20(1), 234-253. ###### Pew Research Center. (2022). Teens, social media and technology 2022. ###### https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2022/08/10/teens-social-media-and-technology- ###### YOUTUBE USAGE AND ADOLESCENT DEPRESSION 11 ###### 2022/#:~:text=REPORT%20MATERIALS-,Complete%20Report%20PDF,- ###### Topline%20Questionnaire ###### https://doi.org/10.3389/feduc.2022.818077 ###### Sharma, S., & Dey, M. (2020). Assessing viewer’s mental health by detecting depression in ###### youtube videos. arXiv pre-print server. https://doi.org/arxiv:2008.07280 ###### Zhang, B., Zaman, A., Silenzio, V., Kautz, H., & Hoque, E. (2020). The relationships of ###### deteriorating depression and anxiety with longitudinal behavioral changes in google ###### and youtube use during covid-19: Observational study. Journal of Medical Internet ###### Research, 7(11). https://doi.org/10.2196/2401 **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Early Childhood Experiences - Shaping Worldviews](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-early-childhood-experiences-can-shape-our-worldview-as-adults/) **Published:** September 11, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** [Schema Therapy](https://welldoing.org/types/schema-therapy) is a 3rd wave iteration of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It aims to identify and address schemas, which are mental constructs or ways of conceptualizing the world. Maladaptive schemas are counterproductive to our wellbeing and can affect interpersonal and personal outcomes. Schema therapy suggests that particularly influential, and possibly traumatic, childhood/adolescent experiences cause these maladaptive schemas. These schemas are gradually reinforced over time as we interpret similar experiences as further support for this schema. Read on to learn how early childhood experiences can shape our worldview as adults. There are five domains in which a maladaptive schema can fall, domain 1 is explored below: ### Disconnection and Rejection When a child’s [need to feel](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-first-aid-5-things-to-do-when-you-need-to-feel-better-right-now/) safe, secure and nurtured is not met, it will likely lead to a schema in the domain of disconnection rejection. There are 5 schemas in this domain, they are: 1. ABANDONMENT / INSTABILITY 2. MISTRUST / ABUSE 3. EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION 4. DEFECTIVENESS / SHAME 5. SOCIAL ISOLATION / ALIENATION A child who develops a schema of abandonment/instability will begin to view later life experiences in this vein. Even if the experience is objectively benign, like someone canceling plans, they are likely to consider this further evidence that people will always abandon them or are unreliable. For this person and their relationships, it can make normal relationship occurrences a source of distress and conflict. Schema Therapy employs various exercises, assessments, and techniques to tackle maladaptive schemas and the dysfunction they may cause. With the help of a schema therapy practitioner, people can learn to identify when they are acting out of maladaptive modes. Through the support and guidance of a psychologist, the person can learn to address their own needs that were not met during childhood. In turn, this will allow them to fully engage in relationships and other meaningful pursuits. For more information on our schema therapy practitioners at The Three Seas Psychology, call us on 9809 1000. **References** Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide. Guilford Press. **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, depression, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [Psychological Treatment for Anorexia Nervosa: A Comprehensive Guide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychological-treatment-for-anorexia-nervosa-a-comprehensive-guide/) **Published:** September 14, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Psychological treatment for anorexia nervosa: a comprehensive guide. Anorexia nervosa is a severe mental illness that demands thorough treatment, with a particular focus on psychological intervention. In this article, we explore the critical role of psychological treatment in the recovery process for individuals battling anorexia, with an emphasis on Melbourne psychologists and therapists specializing in eating disorders. #### **Overcoming Treatment Barriers** Regrettably, many individuals with [eating disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/teen-eating-disorders-parents-can-help/), including anorexia, face obstacles in accessing appropriate treatment consistent with clinical guidelines. These barriers may stem from an individual’s reluctance to seek help, limited screening, and the scarcity of suitable treatment options. #### **Assessment for Anorexia Nervosa: A Multifaceted Approach** Effective treatment begins with a comprehensive assessment. Clinical interviews are the gold standard for evaluating and diagnosing [eating disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/new-funding-for-eating-disorder-treatment-in-australia/). In this context, [Melbourne psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) play a pivotal role. The Eating Disorder Examination (EDE) serves as a valuable guide for assessment, while validated self-report questionnaires like the Eating Disorders Examination Questionnaire (EDE-Q) offer insights into recent eating disorder symptoms. Given the potential impact of eating disorders on physical h[ealth,](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources/) a medical assessment is also indispensable. [The National Practice Standards for Eating Disorders](https://psychology.org.au/for-members/publications/inpsych/2020/february-march-issue-1/eating-disorders) (NEDC, 2018) and the Australia and New Zealand Academy for Eating Disorders (ANZAED) provide comprehensive guidelines for eating disorder assessment. #### **Psychological Treatment for Anorexia Nervosa: Melbourne’s Expertise** In the realm of psychological treatment, Melbourne is home to [skilled](https://thethreeseas.com.au/relationship-ebook/) therapists who specialize in eating disorders. Here’s what you need to know: - **Interdisciplinary Treatment**: Effective anorexia treatment typically involves a multidisciplinary approach. It encompasses nutrition, medical care, and psychological therapy, often led by Melbourne therapists specializing in eating disorders. - **Specialized Therapist-Led Psychological Treatment**: Long-term specialized therapist-led manualized psychological treatment is vital, with a focus on addressing cognitive and behavioral aspects of the disorder. Melbourne psychologists are equipped to provide expert guidance in this area. - **Family-Based Therapy for Young People**: For adolescents, involving the family in the treatment process is particularly beneficial. Experienced Melbourne therapists actively facilitate family-based therapy to support young individuals. - **Hospitalization When Necessary**: In severe cases where there’s a significant medical or psychological risk, hospitalization is considered. Melbourne therapists collaborate with medical professionals to ensure comprehensive care. Keep in mind that individuals highly personalize their journey to recovery from anorexia. Psychological treatment, guided by Melbourne [psychologists and therapists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-role-of-a-therapist-or-psychologist/) with expertise in eating disorders, is central to addressing the complex cognitive and behavioral aspects of the condition. With the right support, commitment, and access to Melbourne’s specialized therapists, individuals can conquer anorexia and regain control of their lives. If you or someone you know is struggling with anorexia in Melbourne, don’t hesitate to seek help. Early intervention can make all the difference in achieving a successful recovery. **Categories:** Blog, Eating Disorders **Tags:** clinical depression, counselling, counsellor, depression, family counselling, relationship counselling, therapist, therapy --- ### [Understanding Panic Attacks and Anxiety Attacks in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-panic-attacks-and-anxiety-attacks-in-melbourne/) **Published:** October 23, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** In the fast-paced world we inhabit, it’s not uncommon for the pressures of life to manifest as overwhelming feelings of panic and [anxiety](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/anxiety). For many individuals in Melbourne, the bustling metropolis by the bay, navigating these emotions can be a significant challenge. In this article, we’ll delve into the intricacies of panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and shed light on how individuals in Melbourne can seek support. ## Unmasking Panic Attacks ### What is a Panic Attack? [Panic attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-to-manage-panic-attacks/) are sudden episodes of intense fear that trigger severe physical and emotional reactions. Symptoms may include heart palpitations, shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, and a sense of impending doom. These episodes can be debilitating and strike without warning. ### Recognising Panic Attacks in Melbourne In the vibrant city of Melbourne, where the hustle and bustle can be both invigorating and demanding, it’s crucial to recognize the signs of panic attacks. Understanding that these episodes are not a sign of weakness but rather a response to stressors can empower individuals to seek help. ## The Anatomy of Anxiety Attacks ### Decoding Anxiety Attacks Anxiety attacks, often used interchangeably with [panic attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks-in-children/), are characterized by overwhelming worry and fear. Unlike panic attacks, anxiety attacks may develop gradually and linger for an extended period. [Physical symptoms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-physical-symptoms-due-mental-health-issues/) can include muscle tension, restlessness, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. ### Navigating Anxiety Attacks in Melbourne In the dynamic and culturally diverse landscape of Melbourne, acknowledging the prevalence of anxiety is a crucial step toward destigmatizing mental health. Seeking support from qualified professionals in the field is essential for managing anxiety attacks effectively. ## Finding Support in Melbourne ### Professional Help for Panic and Anxiety Attacks Acknowledging the need for support is a strength. In Melbourne, a city that celebrates individuality and well-being, numerous [mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/improve-your-mental-health-with-exercise/) professionals specialize in anxiety disorders. From psychologists to therapists, seeking help is a positive step toward regaining control. ### Integrating Holistic Approaches Beyond traditional therapeutic methods, Melbourne offers a range of holistic approaches to mental health. Mindfulness practices, yoga, and meditation are gaining popularity for their ability to promote overall well-being and manage anxiety. ## Conclusion: Embracing Mental Wellness in Melbourne As we navigate the dynamic currents of life in Melbourne, understanding panic and anxiety attacks is a crucial aspect of maintaining mental health. By recognizing the signs, seeking professional help, and embracing holistic approaches, individuals can reclaim control and find balance in the heart of this vibrant city. If you or someone you know is experiencing panic attacks or anxiety attacks in Melbourne, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. The Three Seas Psychology team is here to guide you on your journey to mental wellness. Remember, seeking help is a courageous step towards a brighter and more balanced future. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Transforming ADHD Support Services in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/adhd-assessment-melbourne/) **Published:** November 13, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Australia is at a crossroads in tackling attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), as spotlighted in a recent Senate committee report. The report emphasises the need for reform in ADHD support services nationwide, intertwining crucial themes around psychologists in Melbourne, accessible ADHD assessments, attainable ADHD [treatment](https://www.adhdaustralia.org.au/) and local therapeutic expertise. ## **ADHD’s Impact in Australia** [ADHD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/adhd-when-inattentiveness-hyperactivity-and-impulsivity-significantly-impact-your-life/), affecting roughly 1 in 20 Australians, presents challenges in concentration and impulse control, predominantly surfacing in childhood. Diagnosing the disorder requires meticulous behavioral assessments, often involving specialists such as psychiatrists or pediatricians. ## **Senate Committee’s Deep Dive on ADHD Services in Australia** Initiated in March, the Senate committee’s investigation gathered insights from over 700 submissions, shedding light on the hurdles faced by Australians with ADHD. The comprehensive[ report](https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/Senate/Community_Affairs/ADHD), comprising 15 recommendations, advocates for a substantial overhaul of ADHD services. ## **ADHD Recommendations Unveiled** The recommendations span a spectrum of improvements. The report urges the government to enhance Medicare support for ADHD services, broadening access to treatment and considering the addition of more ADHD medications to the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme (PBS). Collaboration with advocacy groups and individuals with lived experiences is encouraged to formulate a national ADHD framework. Tackling stigma through public health campaigns and awareness initiatives also features prominently in the proposed reforms. ## **Inclusive Environments for ADHD: Schools and Workplaces** Recognizing ADHD’s impact on education and employment, the committee advocates for tailored strategies. These include flexible learning and working options, neurodiversity training for educators and employers, and minimum standards for accommodating ADHD in these environments. ## **Political Responses and the Road Ahead for ADHD Treatment** While Coalition Senators express initial support for the report, concerns about access to ADHD treatment in regional Australia are raised. Greens Senators propose additional measures, including the appointment of a Disability Minister and ADHD training programs for educators. With the government having three months to respond, the urgency of implementing these reforms is underscored, given that over 800,000 Australians grapple with the challenges posed by ADHD annually. ## **ADHD Assessment & Treatment Melbourne** As we navigate these transformative changes, it’s crucial to highlight the role of dedicated professionals. Three Seas Psychology stands out, offering ADHD assessments for both children and adults. Our team of highly experienced therapists with a strong focus in ADHD, providing invaluable support to those on this unique journey. Book now with one of ADHD focused Melbourne psychologists for [adults](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/?speciality=adhd-adult) and [children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/?speciality=adhd-child). **Categories:** Blog, Childrens and adolescents, Individual **Tags:** counselling, counsellor, family counselling, parenting, parenting tips, psychologist near me, psychology, therapy --- ### [10 NEW Mental Health Tips for a Better Workplace](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/10-mental-health-tips-for-a-better-workplace/) **Published:** November 28, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Navigating the intricacies of the professional landscape is a journey that many employees undertake. This article unveils 10 NEW mental health tips for a better workplace environment in 2024, fostering [resilience](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/work-related-stress), well-being, and fulfillment within the professional realm. ## **Finding Purpose at Work** Have you ever experienced a sense of disorientation in the daily grind? Many of us have. The pursuit of clarity regarding one’s role and purpose in the workplace has proven to be a pivotal game-changer. You could start with self-reflection. Reflect on your skills, strengths, and passions. What aspects of your work energize and engage you? Identifying these elements provides a foundation for understanding where you thrive. ## **Avoiding Burnout in the Work Place** Balancing deadlines and demands is no small feat. The vigilance in monitoring workload and the proactive communication about its intensity have become essential practices. There is no shame in safeguarding one’s mental energy. One way to do this is by categorizing tasks based on urgency and importance. Utilise techniques like [Eisenhower’s Matrix](https://asana.com/resources/eisenhower-matrix) to distinguish between tasks that demand immediate attention and those that contribute significantly to long-term goals. This strategic approach prevents a sense of overwhelming pressure and helps allocate energy where it’s most needed. ## **Equitable Treatment at Work** In the pursuit of fairness, one assumes the role of a superhero. Advocacy for equitable treatment for oneself and colleagues can help in fostering a healthier work environment. This is oftentimes easier said than done, but one of the ways this might be achieved is by promoting an inclusive environment, actively encouraging diverse perspectives and voices. Be an ally to colleagues from underrepresented groups, and champion initiatives that foster a culture of inclusivity. ## **Colleague Buddy System** The importance of a support system cannot be overstated. The cultivation of a culture of mutual support among colleagues acts as a lifeline. A simple conversation can metamorphose a challenging day into a more manageable one. One of the [ways to establish supportive](https://thethreeseas.com.au/5-ways-can-support-depressed-loved-one/) connections at work is to initiate candid conversations with supervisors, colleagues, or mentors. ## **Cheers to Recognition** Ever felt that your hard work goes unnoticed? This sentiment is relatable until the initiation of a personal celebration of victories, regardless of magnitude. This practice serves as a mood lifter. The old adage not to praise someone at work for fear they might then slack off, is counterproductive to fostering a healthy working environment. ## **Embrace a Healthy Work-Life Integration** Shift the perspective from work-life balance to work-life integration. Recognize that these two facets of life are interconnected, and strive to create harmony between them. This approach fosters a more sustainable lifestyle, reducing the risk of burnout associated with rigid compartmentalization. ## **Skills Upgrade** In moments of feeling stagnant, an investment in skills upgrade becomes empowering. Equipping oneself to navigate the unforeseen challenges of work adds a layer of confidence. Invest time in continuous learning and professional development if possible. Attend relevant workshops, seminars, or training sessions to acquire new skills that align with your role. This not only enhances your expertise but also reinforces your understanding of your professional identity. It may also go a long way to mixing things up and reducing the monotony of the regular. ## **Regular Check-Ins** Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to assess your job satisfaction and alignment with your role. Are you still enthusiastic about your tasks? What aspects could be adjusted or improved? Regular self-assessment fosters ongoing clarity. ## **Dealing with Workplace Drama** Navigating workplace drama and handling traumatic events require a delicate touch. Seeking assistance when necessary and establishing a supportive network become crucial pieces of armour. It’s almost inevitable that there will be some type of friction in the workplace, especially if your job is high stress. When conflicts arise, a shift into solution mode, identification of needs, active listening, finding common ground, and expressing the value of relationships can pave the way for constructive resolution. It’s crucial to engage in open communication, actively seek common goals, and, when necessary, take breaks to cool off. ## **Invest in Self-Care** Prioritise self-care as a non-negotiable aspect of your routine. This includes adequate sleep, regular physical activity, and activities that bring joy and relaxation. By consistently investing in self-care, you fortify your mental resilience and create a buffer against the stressors of the professional environment. Remember, work is a *part* of your life, not your *whole* life. « ***I confirm the subscription of this blog to the Paperblog service under the username thethreeseas*** » **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ### [Psychology and Money: Understanding Your Financial Behaviour](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/unlocking-the-mind-exploring-the-psychology-of-money/) **Published:** January 25, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Money, a ubiquitous part of our lives, often brings forth a complex web of emotions, behaviours, and relationships. In this article, we delve into the [psychology of money](https://www.amazon.in/Psychology-Money-Morgan-Housel/dp/9390166268), unraveling the intricate connections between our financial decisions and the workings of our minds. Drawing inspiration from real-life experiences and expert insights, we explore the emotional landscape surrounding money, its impact on our behaviour, and ways to navigate the intricate relationship we share with our finances. ## Understanding the Emotional Landscape No one is entirely rational when it comes to money. Our decisions about finances are deeply rooted in our emotions, and it’s crucial to acknowledge and understand these emotional undercurrents. Fear, guilt, shame, and envy are powerful emotions that often shape our financial choices. By becoming aware of these emotions, we can gain insights into our behaviours and take steps towards more informed decision-making. ## Fear, Anxiety and Money Fear of not having enough, looking foolish, or provoking envy can paralyze us when it comes to financial decisions. It’s essential to identify these fears and address them consciously to prevent them from driving impulsive actions. ## Guilt and Shame around Money Guilt may arise from having more than others or neglecting charitable actions, while shame is often associated with feelings of inadequacy or avoidance of financial responsibilities. Recognising these emotions is the first step towards breaking the cycle of avoidance and fostering healthier financial habits. ## Envy and Other Emotions Envy, greed, and excitement can also influence our financial behaviors. Being mindful of these emotions helps us maintain a balanced approach to money, avoiding extremes that might lead to financial pitfalls. ## The Vicious Cycle of Avoidance Shame often leads to avoidance, creating a detrimental cycle that hinders financial well-being. When faced with uncomfortable financial situations, the natural instinct is to avoid them. However, this avoidance only perpetuates more shame and further avoidance. Breaking this cycle requires confronting financial challenges head-on, even if it initially increases anxiety. The long-term benefits of facing reality outweigh the short-term relief of avoidance. ## Mental Health and Money Our mental health significantly impacts our financial well-being. Issues such as alcohol use disorder, depression, [bipolar disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bipolar-disorder-treatment/), and ADHD/ADD can have profound effects on our financial decisions. Recognising the connection between mental health and money management is crucial for seeking appropriate support and making informed choices. ## Family and Childhood Influences Our family and childhood experiences shape our attitudes toward money. Family stories, financial pressures, and childhood lessons contribute to the unique psychology of money that we carry into adulthood. Understanding these influences helps us navigate our financial behaviours and make conscious choices that align with our values. ## Harnessing Money Emotions Emotions, when harnessed correctly, can serve as powerful tools for understanding our passions and motivations. Anxiety can be motivating, and guilt can drive positive actions. The key is self-awareness, which allows us to channel these emotions constructively and make informed financial decisions. ## Identifying Your Money Mindset Four key aspects define our money mindset – spender vs. saver, nerd vs. free spirit, safety vs. status, and family and childhood influences. Recognising where we fall on these spectrums helps us understand our natural inclinations and allows for intentional adjustments to achieve a balanced financial life. Conclusion Money is not just a means of transaction; it’s a mirror reflecting our values, fears, and aspirations. By unraveling the psychology of money, we empower ourselves to make conscious, informed decisions that lead to financial well-being. Whether it’s navigating emotional landscapes, breaking the cycle of avoidance, or understanding the impact of mental health, acknowledging the intricate relationship between our minds and money is the first step towards a healthier financial future. **Categories:** Blog, General Health **Tags:** counselling, psychologist near me, psychology, therapist, therapy --- ### [Decoding the Enneagram: A Map to Self-Discovery](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/decoding-the-enneagram-a-map-to-self-discovery/) **Published:** February 7, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Decoding the Enneagram: A Map to Self-Discovery. Embarking on a journey of self-discovery can be both intriguing and transformative, and the [Enneagram](https://enneagramuniverse.com/) is a valuable tool that facilitates this exploration. While the system may initially seem complex, it is rooted in simplicity and offers profound insights into our basic personality types. In this article, we will break down the fundamental concepts of the Enneagram, guiding you through its structure, the nine basic personality types, and how it can serve as a roadmap to understanding yourself and others. We should call out from the outset that not all psychologists agree that the Enneagram has psychological merit. While interesting to consider, the Enneagram is not based on established psychological science and, similar to astrology, should merely be used as a tool for self-reflection and not determination. ## Understanding the Enneagram’s Structure The Enneagram’s structure is a circle with nine equidistant points, each representing one of the nine basic personality types. These types are interconnected by inner lines, creating a [pattern that reveals the relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/break-destructive-relationship-patterns/) between them. Notably, points Three, Six, and Nine form an equilateral triangle, while the remaining six points create an irregular hexagram. ## Your Basic Personality Type At the core of the Enneagram is the concept of basic personality types. From a broader perspective, there are nine distinct types, and each person resonates most strongly with one of them. This dominant type is shaped by inborn temperament and prenatal factors. It’s crucial to note that individuals do not switch from one basic personality type to another, and the Enneagram uses numbers to avoid value judgments, promoting an unbiased understanding of each type. ## Identifying Your Basic Personality Type The journey of self-discovery often begins with identifying your basic personality type. Utilizing tools like the Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI® version 2.5) can provide valuable insights. The Enneagram offers a range of descriptors for each type, allowing individuals to recognize their primary traits. For example, Type One is principled and perfectionistic, while Type Seven is spontaneous and acquisitive. ### The Instinctive Centers The Enneagram organizes the nine personality types into three centers: Instinctive, Feeling, and Thinking. Each center shares common assets and liabilities related to its dominant emotion. The Instinctive Center deals with Anger or Rage, the Feeling Center with Shame, and the Thinking Center with Fear. Understanding the emotional themes of each center enhances our comprehension of how individuals cope with their emotions. ### The Nine Enneagram Type Descriptions Let’s delve into the specifics of each Enneagram type to gain a deeper understanding: THE REFORMER (Type One) - The Rational, Idealistic Type: Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic. THE HELPER (Type Two) - The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive. THE ACHIEVER (Type Three) - The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious. THE INDIVIDUALIST (Type Four) - The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental. THE INVESTIGATOR (Type Five) - The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated. THE LOYALIST (Type Six) - The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious. THE ENTHUSIAST (Type Seven) - The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered. THE CHALLENGER (Type Eight) - The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational. THE PEACEMAKER (Type Nine) - The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent. ### Uses of the Enneagram The Enneagram works by sorting people into these nine different types, offering insight not only into an individual’s personality but also providing valuable information on how to better relate to others. ### Possible Applications of the Enneagram - Personal growth and development - Interpersonal communication, team building, and leadership development - Creating successful relationships at work and in other life areas - While the Enneagram theory needs further research to validate its use, it has gained popularity as a tool for building better relationships. - Businesses utilise the test within the field of industrial-organizational [psychology to improve](https://thethreeseas.com.au/twenty-ways-therapy-or-psychology-can-improve-your-life/) employee motivation and productivity. ### Impact of the Enneagram Critics note that the system is rooted more in a semi-mystical ancient philosophy than in scientifically valid research. However, some studies suggest that participants in Enneagram training programs showed improvements in ego development and personal growth. Further research is needed to explore the Enneagram’s applicability and usefulness. ### Sample Enneagram Test Questions Some Enneagram tests involve answering questions based on a sliding scale, while others only allow you to choose from two answers. Examples include questions about importance of others’ opinions, striving for perfection, and emotional depth. ### Tips for Using Enneagram Test Results It’s crucial to remember that personality is complex, and a simple online test cannot capture everything about your personality. While tests can be fun and interesting, they should not be taken too seriously. The Enneagram can serve as a starting point for gaining greater personal insight and self-awareness. ### Potential Pitfalls of the Enneagram There are pitfalls to consider, including criticisms of being pseudoscientific and descriptions being too general. It is essential to recognise that the Enneagram does not suggest any type is better than another; traits are subjective and culture-dependent. **Categories:** Blog, General Health --- ## Pages ### [Home](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) **Published:** December 2, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. ## Meet our psychologists. We have 40+ psychologists working across 4 sites in Melbourne We see women, men, children and adolescents. [ We see women, men, children and adolescents. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) ![Meet our psychologists. We have 40+ psychologists working across 4 sites in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/2-3-1.webp) ## A child’s mental health is inextricably linked to their physical health and their happiness. We have fully trained child psychologists. [ Book Now ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) ![A child’s mental health is inextricably linked to their physical health and their happiness.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/6-1.webp) ## Experiencing Depression? Counselling from a psychologist can help. [ Book Now ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/) ![Experiencing Depression?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/3-4-1.webp) ## Expertise in helping couples navigate real-life challenges. Get in touch today and take back control. [ Book Today ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/) ![Expertise in helping couples navigate real-life challenges.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Repairing-3.webp) ## Grief and loss are part of life but professional counselling can help with the pain. If you've lost a loved one get in touch today. [ Find out more ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) ![Grief and loss are part of life but professional counselling can help with the pain.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/4-1-1.webp) ## EMDR Therapy Powerful for Treating Trauma [ Book Now ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/) ![EMDR Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/edmr2.webp) ## Telehealth (online) and Phone Consultations Get in touch today. [ Find out more ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) ![Telehealth (online) and Phone Consultations](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/iStock_000030286120Small-1.webp) ## Blog Read our Blog [ Explore our free resources ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/) ![Blog](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Three-Seas-Blog-2.webp) [ ](#main-slider) [ ](#main-slider) ## MELBOURNE CBD Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 [ View Map ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) ## RICHMOND 637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 [ View Map ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 [ View Map ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) ## FITZROY NORTH 393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068 [ View Map ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) # Comprehensive Mental Health Support from Trusted Melbourne Psychologists ## Melbourne’s hub for individuals, couples and families seeking therapy, counselling, and psychological assessments. ## What We Help With [ **Couples Counselling** Support for relationship challenges and communication. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/) [ **ADHD Assessments & Therapy** Assessments and practical support for ADHD in adults and children. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/adhd-melbourne/) [ **Autism Assessments** Diagnostic and functional assessments for all ages. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-assessments-melbourne/) [ **Child Psychology** Emotional and behavioural support for children and teens. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) [ **Anxiety** Therapy for all types of anxiety and related conditions. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) [ **Depression** Support for low mood, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne-2-2/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/) [ **Trauma & PTSD** Healing support for trauma, flashbacks, and distressing memories. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ptsd-melbourne/) [ **Eating Disorders** Treatment for disordered eating, body image, and food-related anxiety. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anorexia/) [ **LGBTQIA+ Support** Safe, affirming space for identity, wellbeing, and relationships. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-three-seas-psychology-group/lgbtqai-affirming-psychologists-in-melbourne-safe-inclusive-therapy/) [ **Grief & Loss** Support through bereavement, life changes, and transitions. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) [ **Personal Growth** Therapy to build confidence, purpose, and self-awareness. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/life-coaching/) [ **Online Therapy** Convenient Telehealth counselling, anywhere in Australia. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling-faqs/) [ **And More** View our full range of psychology and counselling services. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne/) ## Why People Choose The Three Seas Psychology - **Experienced and Diverse Team:** Over 40 registered psychologists offering a wide range of evidence-based therapies tailored to individual needs. - **Convenient Melbourne Locations:** Clinics in the CBD, Richmond, Fitzroy North and Wantirna South for accessible mental health support. - **Flexible Appointments:** Weekday and Saturday appointments available in-clinic or via secure Telehealth, with extended evening hours to suit your schedule. - **Accepting New Clients:** New clients welcome, with some psychologists offering same-day availability. - **Collaborative Mental Health Care:** We work closely with GPs and other healthcare providers to deliver holistic support. - **Medicare Rebates:** Eligible clients can access rebates with a valid Mental Health Care Plan from their GP. - **Online Therapy Available:** Secure and confidential telehealth services for clients across Victoria. - **Support for a Range of Issues:** Including anxiety, depression, trauma, ADHD, autism assessments, and couples counselling. ## Our Psychologists Approach to Therapy - Collaboration with other mental health professionals, especially GPs - Client centred approach, humanistic in nature. - Ethical, caring, high quality care. CBT, [DBT](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-is-dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt/), Behavioural Therapy, Narrative, Mindfulness, Schema, IPT, Emotion Focused Therapy, Gestalt, [EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/), Family Systems Therapy, Gottman Method, Grief Therapy, Holistic Therapy, Positive Psychotherapy and more. ## The difference between therapy, counselling and psychology Therapy, counselling, and psychology, although often used interchangeably, have distinct differences. Counselling, represented by professionals in Melbourne, involves practitioners with varying levels of education, such as the Diploma Of Counselling, providing support for issues like grief, relationships, and stress. The focus is on processing emotions, making decisions, and empowering clients with coping skills. The word itself, counselling, (as in counselling skills) can be applied across professionals and this is sometimes the reason for confusion. On the other hand, psychology, requiring a minimum of 6 years of university education, board-certified internship, and ongoing training, delves deeper into psychotherapy, addressing unconscious triggers and conducting research. While both aim to improve clients’ lives, counselling suits sudden curveballs, while psychology is tailored for understanding oneself and addressing past trauma, as well as detailed knowledge of barriers to progress. Therapy is the specific collaborative process that happens between two or more people and a therapist (either a counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist with the overarching goal of helping that person live a better life). The key thing that changes across the different professions is the modality and focus of the mental health work. Wondering how to find the right psychologist? Read our [guide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/finding-the-right-psychologist-in-melbourne/) which provides some recommendations. Want more info on the difference between counselling and psychology? [Read more here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-is-the-difference-between-counsellors-and-psychologists/ "What is the difference between Counsellors and Psychologists?"). ## FAQs About Seeing a Psychologist in Melbourne How do I choose the right psychologist in Melbourne for my needs? Choosing the right psychologist depends on your goals, preferences, and the type of support you’re seeking. It’s important to consider areas of expertise such as anxiety, relationships, trauma, or stress, as well as practical factors like location and availability. Our team includes over 40 psychologists across Melbourne, allowing us to match you with the right clinician. What types of therapy do psychologists offer for anxiety, depression and trauma? Psychologists use a range of evidence-based therapies to support mental health, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and trauma-focused approaches such as EMDR. These therapies can help with anxiety, depression, stress, trauma, and relationship challenges, depending on your needs. How do I get a mental health care plan in Australia? In Australia, you can access a Mental Health Care Plan by visiting your GP, who will assess your needs and provide a referral to a psychologist. This allows you to receive Medicare rebates for a set number of sessions each year. At The Three Seas Psychology, we work with clients both with and without a referral, depending on your preferences and needs. How much does a psychologist cost in Melbourne and is there a Medicare rebate? The cost of seeing a psychologist in Melbourne can vary depending on the clinician and type of session. With a valid Mental Health Care Plan, you may be eligible for a Medicare rebate that reduces your out-of-pocket cost. Our team can guide you through fees, rebates, and options to ensure you find the right support. [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/fees-medicare-rebates-private-health) ### Fees & Rebates [ Check your eligibility ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq-and-rebates/?section=fees_rebates) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq-and-rebates/) ### FAQ's [ Find out more ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq-and-rebates/) [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-care-plan-melbourne/) ### Mental Health Care Plans [ Find out more ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-mental-health-care-plan-in-australia/) #### Always Available We have availability and can see someone almost immediately. #### Convenient We have a good footprint with 4 offices in Fitzroy North, Richmond, CBD, and Wantirna South. #### Psychs Specialists We have 40+ psychologists specialising in a broad spectrum of modalities and treating a lot of different types of people and conditions. #### High Quality Care All of our psychologists meet the competencies set by the Psychology Board/AHPRA and adhere to all relevant Codes of Conduct, ensuring the highest possible standards of care. --- ### [Proven EMDR Therapy for Trauma Healing in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/emdr-therapy-melbourne/) **Published:** June 20, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## EMDR Therapy Melbourne **Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence-based psychological therapy used to help people process traumatic or distressing experiences and reduce the emotional impact they continue to have.** At The Three Seas Group, our psychologists provide EMDR therapy in Melbourne for people experiencing trauma, PTSD, anxiety and other difficulties connected to distressing experiences or memories. If something from your past continues to affect how you feel, think, behave or respond in the present, EMDR may be an option worth discussing with a psychologist. **Book an appointment with one of our Melbourne psychologists to find out whether EMDR is appropriate for you.** ## What is EMDR therapy? EMDR stands for **Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing**. It is a structured form of psychotherapy that helps people process distressing memories and experiences that continue to cause emotional or psychological distress. During EMDR therapy, you are guided to briefly focus on a particular memory, thought, feeling or body sensation while engaging in bilateral stimulation. This may involve following the therapist’s hand movements with your eyes, although other forms of bilateral stimulation, such as tapping or sounds, may also be used. Importantly, **EMDR is much more than simply moving your eyes from side to side**. It is a structured therapeutic approach involving assessment, preparation, memory processing and ongoing evaluation. The aim is not to erase a memory. Instead, EMDR helps you work through the experience so that the memory can become less distressing and have less impact on your life. ## How can EMDR help? EMDR is best established as a treatment for **post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)** and trauma-related difficulties. It may also be considered when distressing experiences contribute to symptoms such as: - intrusive or upsetting memories - nightmares - anxiety or panic - strong emotional reactions to reminders of the past - avoidance of people, places or situations - feelings of fear, shame, guilt or helplessness - difficulty feeling safe - distressing physical or emotional reactions to particular triggers - difficulties associated with past trauma Whether EMDR is appropriate depends on your individual circumstances, symptoms, history and treatment goals. Your psychologist will assess your needs and discuss the most suitable approach with you. ## How does EMDR work? You may have heard that EMDR “rewires the brain” or that the eye movements mimic REM sleep. These explanations are sometimes used to describe EMDR, but the science behind exactly why bilateral stimulation contributes to therapeutic change is still being studied. One established model used to understand EMDR is the **Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model**. This proposes that some distressing experiences may not become fully processed and integrated, leaving memories that continue to feel emotionally or physically present. For example, you may know intellectually that an event happened years ago, but your body and emotions can still react as though the danger is happening now. EMDR therapy aims to help you process these experiences in a structured and supported way. As treatment progresses, the memory may become less emotionally intense, and the thoughts, feelings and physical sensations associated with it can change. ## What happens during an EMDR session? EMDR follows a structured eight-phase approach. Your psychologist will adapt the process to your individual needs rather than simply asking you to recall a traumatic event and immediately begin eye movements. ### 1. History and treatment planning Your psychologist will learn about your history, current difficulties and treatment goals. Together, you will identify what you would like to work on and consider whether EMDR is appropriate. ### 2. Preparation Before processing difficult memories, your psychologist will help you develop strategies for managing emotions and staying grounded. This preparation is an important part of EMDR and can help you feel more confident about the treatment process. ### 3. Assessment Your psychologist will help identify a specific target memory or experience and explore the thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and beliefs connected with it. ### 4. Desensitisation You will be guided to focus on aspects of the memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation. Your psychologist will regularly check in with you and guide the process. ### 5. Installation Treatment works towards strengthening a more helpful or adaptive belief about yourself in relation to the experience. ### 6. Body scan You will be asked to notice whether any physical distress remains when thinking about the memory. Your psychologist will help you work through any remaining disturbance. ### 7. Closure At the end of a session, your psychologist will help you return to a calmer state. If processing of a particular memory is not complete, the session can be closed safely and the work revisited later. ### 8. Reevaluation At subsequent sessions, your psychologist will review what has changed since the previous session and determine what should be addressed next. These eight phases are a core part of the EMDR approach and allow treatment to be structured around the individual rather than simply following a one-size-fits-all process. ## Do I have to talk about my trauma in detail? **Not necessarily.** One of the questions people often have before starting EMDR is whether they will have to describe every detail of a traumatic experience. EMDR does involve focusing on memories, thoughts, emotions and physical sensations associated with an experience. However, you do not necessarily need to provide your psychologist with a detailed verbal account of everything that happened. Your psychologist will explain the process, make sure you understand what to expect and work with you at a pace that is appropriate for your circumstances. If you are worried about talking about a particular experience, let your psychologist know. This is something you can discuss before treatment begins. ## Is EMDR effective? EMDR is an evidence-based psychological treatment with substantial research supporting its use for PTSD and trauma-related difficulties. It is also included among the psychological strategies recognised within Australia’s Medicare Benefits Schedule. As with any psychological treatment, EMDR does not work in exactly the same way for everyone. Your psychologist will consider your individual circumstances and discuss whether EMDR is an appropriate treatment option for you. It is also important to distinguish between **evidence for EMDR as a treatment** and claims about exactly how it works. Researchers continue to investigate the mechanisms responsible for the therapeutic effects of EMDR. ## Is EMDR only for PTSD? **No.** EMDR is particularly well established for PTSD and trauma, but psychologists may also consider EMDR as part of treatment for other difficulties where distressing experiences or memories are contributing to someone’s symptoms. Research and clinical applications continue to develop, so it is important not to assume that EMDR is appropriate for every mental health condition. Your psychologist can help you understand whether EMDR is suitable for your particular situation and, if not, recommend another evidence-based treatment. ## How many EMDR sessions will I need? There is no fixed number of EMDR sessions that everyone needs. The length of treatment depends on factors including: - what you are seeking help with - the number and complexity of experiences you want to address - your current level of distress - your ability to use coping and grounding strategies - your treatment goals - how you respond to therapy Some people may work on a relatively specific experience over a shorter course of treatment, while people experiencing complex or multiple traumatic experiences may require longer-term psychological support. Your psychologist can discuss likely treatment timeframes with you once they understand your circumstances. ## What does EMDR feel like? People experience EMDR differently. During a session, you may notice memories, thoughts, emotions, images or physical sensations arising as you focus on the target experience. Your psychologist will guide you through the process and check in with you throughout. You remain aware of what is happening and can communicate with your psychologist during treatment. The goal is not to overwhelm you. Preparation, pacing and the therapeutic relationship are important parts of the process. ## Is EMDR safe? EMDR should be provided by an appropriately trained mental health professional who can assess whether the treatment is suitable for you and support you throughout the process. Some people experience increased emotions or distress while processing difficult memories. This is one reason preparation and clinical assessment are important before beginning trauma processing. Your psychologist will discuss the treatment with you and help determine whether EMDR is appropriate based on your individual circumstances. ## EMDR therapy in Melbourne If you are looking for **EMDR therapy in Melbourne**, The Three Seas Group provides psychological services from our Melbourne practice. Our psychologists work with people experiencing a range of mental health concerns and can help you understand whether EMDR is the right approach for your needs. You do not need to know whether EMDR is right for you before making an appointment. Your psychologist can discuss what you are experiencing, answer your questions and explain the treatment options available to you. ### Looking for an EMDR psychologist in Melbourne? Choosing a psychologist is about more than choosing a particular therapy. It is important to find a clinician you feel comfortable with and who can understand your individual circumstances. If EMDR is appropriate, your psychologist will explain how the treatment works, what you can expect and how it fits into your broader treatment plan. [**Meet our psychologists**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Meet Our Psychologists") ## FAQs about EMDR What does EMDR stand for? EMDR stands for **Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing**. It is a structured form of psychotherapy that uses bilateral stimulation as part of the treatment process. Is EMDR a type of therapy? Yes. EMDR is a structured psychological therapy used most commonly to treat trauma and PTSD. Does EMDR really involve eye movements? Often, yes. A therapist may guide you to follow their hand movements with your eyes. However, EMDR can also involve other forms of bilateral stimulation, including auditory or tactile stimulation. Can EMDR help with PTSD? Yes. EMDR is an established evidence-based treatment for PTSD and trauma-related difficulties. Do I need to talk about everything that happened during EMDR? Not necessarily. EMDR involves focusing on aspects of a distressing experience, but you do not necessarily need to describe every detail of the event. Your psychologist will explain the process and work with you at an appropriate pace. How long does an EMDR session take? The length of an appointment can vary depending on the psychologist, your treatment plan and your individual needs. Your psychologist can explain what to expect when you book. How many EMDR sessions do I need? There is no standard number of sessions. Treatment length depends on your circumstances, treatment goals and the complexity of what you are working through. Can EMDR be done online? EMDR can be delivered through telehealth in some circumstances. Your psychologist can discuss whether online treatment is appropriate for you. Is EMDR suitable for everyone? No. Like any psychological treatment, EMDR is not appropriate for everyone or every situation. An assessment with a qualified psychologist can help determine whether it is a suitable option. ## Book EMDR therapy in Melbourne If traumatic or distressing experiences are continuing to affect your life, you don’t have to work out the right treatment on your own. Our psychologists can talk with you about what you’re experiencing and whether EMDR or another form of psychological therapy may be appropriate. **Call The Three Seas Group on 03 9809 1000 or book an appointment online.** ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-720x480.png) --- ### [Thank You](https://thethreeseas.com.au/thank-you/) **Published:** December 13, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # Thank You ## HOME ## Thank You Thank you for contacting The Three Seas Psychology Group. Your enquiry has been submitted. We will endeavour to give you a call in 24 hours. Please note that we will call **using a blocked number.** Our opening hours are Monday to Friday 8.30am-9pm or Saturday 9am-5pm. Feel free to call us during these hours or leave a message and we will get back to you. Our practice addresses are: - Melbourne City: Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 - Richmond: 637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 - Westfield Knox: Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy. Wantirna South, VIC 3152 - Fitzroy North: 393-395, St Georges Road, Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068 --- ### [Meet the Client Connect Team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-the-client-connect-team/) **Published:** June 23, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Client Connect Team (Reception & Client Support) Our Client Connect Team (CCT) plays a vital role in shaping each client’s experience with The Three Seas Psychology. From the moment you first reach out, you’ll be met with warmth, professionalism and genuine care. The team is trained in thoughtfully matching you with the psychologist best suited to your needs and supporting you throughout your therapeutic journey. Behind every appointment is a conversation — and our Client Connect Team ensures that conversation begins with trust, clarity and compassion. #### Ashleigh - Practice Coordinator at CBD ![Ash CCT](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/Ash-rathcc8yynkn9e3kv4wzqfqxz1p3c3tukwirziyrp4.jpg "Ash") Drawing on her many years of experience in the mental health field, Ashleigh is committed to ensuring that each client feels genuinely welcomed and supported from their first point of contact. In her spare time, Ashleigh enjoys reading, discovering new cafes, and exploring art galleries. #### Suzanne - Client Connect Team Member at Richmond ![Suzanne - CCT](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/IMG_0058-ratj1yk2znxcd4ld1rsj6vyrwdzbxsgdpw4okjlnso.jpg "IMG_0058") Suzanne has enjoyed providing administrative support to psychologists and their clients for over 6 years. She brings much experience, compassion & understanding to her role with a focus on providing a friendly & relateable approach to both clients & therapists. She enjoys keeping fit & healthy, getting out in the sun & discovering great recipes that work! #### Madi - Client Connect Team Member at All Locations ![Madi](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/IMG_9570-scaled-rbco5u3tkc1e5xroh42iepfym3474m05tha6z8ps54.jpg) Madi joined the Three Seas Group during her undergraduate studies in Biomedical Sciences. She enjoys being able to assist clients in accessing high-quality care and learning from the diverse experiences of clients, practitioners and fellow CCT! Madi loves all things footy, being by the beach surfing, and enjoys experiencing different cultures during her travels. #### Abbie - Client Connect Team Member at All Locations ![Abbie](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/IMG_5013-scaled-rbcobi2srdsm5bjee28jxryzip6uixhwxiuk4abcmw.jpg) Drawing on her psychology studies and experience in mental health client care, Abbie seeks to support clients at The Three Seas with patience and empathy. Her curiosity in people from all walks of life often leads to delightfully random yet thoughtful conversations. You will often find her hunting for the best matcha in town, baking homemade treats for family and friends, or jogging during golden hours. #### Katie - Client Connect Team Member at All Locations ![Katie CCT](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/Katie-scaled-rc7a3exbhap89hhr008gdq5zxmtbhmhavnv1uk8j3s.jpg "Katie") With a background in Music Therapy, Katie believes in the power of kindness and making genuine connections. She is passionate about providing support for those in need and promoting a warm and safe environment in the Three Seas and beyond. Outside of work, Katie enjoys painting, staying active, and escaping into nature with her furry friend Joy. #### Hannah - Client Connect Team Member at All Locations ![Hannah CCT](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/Hannah-scaled-rc7a5pn46pugn65lkzzmh5ak7jhmazloj19s2wtvw8.jpeg) As part of the Client Connect Team, Hannah feels privileged to share in each client’s journey in a small but meaningful way. She’s currently completing her Honours in Psychology and is enjoying her first steps into the world of research. Outside of work and study, you’ll find her baking from time to time, on a run somewhere or on a late-night dessert adventure with friends. #### Tim - Client Connect Team Member at All Locations ![Tim](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/Tim-rclumsjzv6meu6byby89c2lcsn1m376nfpj5n3nvlk.jpg) Tim has been a part of the team at The Three Seas for one year now. He has 10 years of experience working in the family physiotherapy clinic before deciding to return to university to train as a psychologist. Tim is currently undertaking his 4th year psychology studies and is passionate about wellbeing and human connection. Outside of work and study, Tim likes to meditate and spend time in nature. #### Desi - Client Connect Team Member at Richmond ![Desi CCT Team Member](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/elementor/thumbs/Desi-Head-shot-3-rgjyfcbvfzhdaf8lcti1is31cbpgjxk4xe7jgf4at4.png) Desi enjoys being part of a team that aims to deliver a safe and supportive environment. She has worked in support services for over 20 years and brings a lot of experience and understanding to her role. Outside of work, Desi loves to garden, watch movies, make pottery and go on long walks with her dog (and sometimes her partner!). --- ### [Fees, Medicare Rebates & Private Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/fees-medicare-rebates-private-health/) **Published:** December 10, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Fees, Medicare Rebates & Private Health ## ABOUT US # Fees, Medicare Rebates & Private Health ## Frequently Asked Questions Fees, Medicare and Private Health Insurance ### FAQ’s about Fees, Medicare and Private Health Insurance - #### How much is a therapy session at Three Seas? Our fees are as follows: - **General Psychologists**: - Individual appointments: $240 – $295 ($138.45 – $193.45 out of pocket) - Couples / family appointments: $265 – $320 - **Clinical Psychologists**: - Individual appointments: $285 – $340 ($135.95 – $190.95 out of pocket) - Couples / family appointments: $310 – $365 Please note: A few psychologists do not offer rebates for couples or family sessions. - **Counsellors**: - Individual appointments: $135 – $205 - Couples appointments: $160 – $230 (lowest couples rate not currently available) - **Provisional Psychologists**: - Individual appointments: $85 – $170 - Couples appointments: $110 – $195 (lowest couples rate not currently available) Some psychologists may offer discounts on the above fees, typically around 30%. If you have a health care or pension card, you may be eligible for a further discounted rate. - #### Is therapy covered by Medicare? Yes and no. Medicare will offer a rebate for 10 sessions per calendar year (January through to December) with a Mental Health Care Plan. Once you receive a Mental Health Care Plan you will be eligible for a Medicare rebate of **$149.05** for a clinical psychologist and **$101.55** for a general registered psychologist. For clients who have been diagnosed with an eating disorder, additional support may be available through an **Eating Disorder Treatment Plan (EDTP)**. An EDTP can provide access to Medicare rebates for a higher number of psychology sessions than a standard Mental Health Care Plan. An EDTP must be issued by a GP, psychiatrist, or paediatrician and is reviewed at regular intervals to continue accessing further sessions. Our team is happy to help you understand which referral pathway may be most appropriate for your circumstances and how to access Medicare support. - #### Does my private health insurance cover therapy? If you have private health insurance, you may be covered for psychological services. More than 40 health funds will offer a rebate for psychological services; however, this will be dependent on the type of cover you have. Please contact your health fund to confirm if you are unsure of your cover. - #### Am I eligible for a Medicare rebate? The Medicare rebate is dependent on receiving a Mental Health Care plan. If you want to be eligible for the Medicare rebate you will need to make an appointment with your GP who will assess your eligibility for a Mental Health Care plan. You can also make an appointment to get a MHCP from a psychiatrist or a paediatrician. Please note that if you don’t need a Medicare rebate or a Mental Health Care Plan, you can book directly with The Three Seas & do not need a referral. - #### How much do psychological tests / assessments cost? The Three Seas offer comprehensive cognitive assessments for children & adolescents, specifically the WISC-V & WPPSI-IV (read more about these [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/)). The total fee for this assessment is $1000. This includes the fee for three sessions, including assessment & report. - #### Does the Three Seas offer bulk billing? The Three Seas currently does not offer bulk billing. - #### Does The Three Seas offer third-party billings? The Three Seas accepts NDIS (self- or plan-managed), TAC, Worksafe, FAS and DVA clients. We also have EAP agreements in place for several Melbourne companies. Please note that a gap payment may be required for NDIS, Worksafe and VOCAT clients. - #### What is your cancellation policy? Your appointment time is reserved for you. If for some reason you need to cancel or postpone your appointment, we require at least 48 hours (to the hour) notice. Appointments cancelled or rescheduled less than 24 – 48 hours will incur 50% of the appointment fee. Appointments cancelled or rescheduled within less than 24 hours will incur 100% of the appointment fee. Please be aware that cancellation and rescheduling fees are NOT rebatable through Medicare. An appointment reminder is sent out via text, 72 hours prior to your appointment. This is a courtesy text message, and you should not solely rely on this due to it being sent through an automatic system. All appointment changes are to be made via phone or email. A voicemail can be left on our system after hours or over the weekend. - #### How do I book? Bookings can be made online through our booking portal here. Alternatively, you can call the client connect team on 03 9809 1000 or pop us an [e-mail](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) by filing in the form. You can also follow us on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/TheThreeSeasPsychology/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/thethreeseaspsychology/). **Do I need to pay a deposit?** - A 50% deposit is required to book (or confirm for online bookings) appointments for new clients only. - Payment over the phone is preferred, but can also be completed online or via bank transfer. - The amount may differ slightly for assessment bookings (i.e. some assessments require sessions to be prepaid). CCTeam discusses this in the intake call. - If appointments are cancelled or rescheduled outside 48 hours, the deposit can be refunded or applied to another appointment. - Cancellations / reschedulings within 48 hours or no shows mean that the deposit is forfeited. If another appointment is booked, it will require another 50% deposit. ## Fees & Rebates Our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) offer appointments from 8am-9pm Monday to Friday and 9am-5pm on a Saturday. Our friendly reception team is available between 8am-8pm Monday through to Thursday. 8:30am – 5pm on Fridays and 8:00am -1:00pm on a Saturday and will respond to any enquiries or bookings you wish to make. Please call us on 03 9809 1000 to book an appointment or enquire about our services. Services that relate to mental health (e.g. anxiety, depression) may be subsidised through Medicare. Concession Rates - To be eligible, the client needs to have a government-issued low-income health care card or pension card. - Not all practitioners offer a concession rate - For those who do, there’s usually a cap on the number of concession clients each practitioner will take on. - At time of booking, the client should inform our staff regarding having a concession card. Staff will inform whether their practitioner usually offers a concession rate or not. - If they do, clients are requested to bring their concession card to their first appointment to present to their practitioner. It is up to the practitioner’s discretion whether a concession rate is extended, and is NOT guaranteed. --- ### [The Three Seas Latest News](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-three-seas-latest-news/) **Published:** June 25, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Latest News Stay up to date with the latest news from **The Three Seas Psychology**, along with important updates from the wider psychology and mental health sector in Australia. ### **Statement Regarding Recent Media Coverage – 24 June 2026** The Three Seas Psychology is aware of recent media coverage concerning a former psychologist, Scott Barnett, who previously practised from our clinics. We acknowledge the findings made by the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal (VCAT) and recognise the significant impact this matter may have had on those affected. Our thoughts are with the individuals who experienced harm. We recognise the courage required to raise concerns about a health professional, particularly within a therapeutic relationship where trust, safety and vulnerability are central. We acknowledge that the process of reporting concerns and participating in investigations can be difficult and distressing. When concerns regarding this practitioner’s conduct were brought to our attention, The Three Seas Psychology followed its internal processes to assess and address the information available at the time. As further concerns emerged, the Principal Psychologist notified the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA). We also encouraged individuals who raised concerns with us to report directly to AHPRA so that their experiences could be formally considered as part of the regulatory process. Where appropriate, we supported individuals who wished to make reports to the regulator and assisted them in accessing ongoing psychological care and support. The practitioner’s contractual relationship with The Three Seas Psychology was subsequently terminated. Throughout the regulatory investigation, we cooperated fully with AHPRA and provided relevant information and documentation requested by the regulator. The Three Seas Psychology Group is committed to maintaining a safe, ethical and professional environment for all clients. We take concerns about practitioner conduct seriously and remain committed to supporting individuals who come forward with complaints. We recognise that recent media coverage may be upsetting for current and former clients. Any person who has been affected and would like support, information or assistance accessing services is encouraged to contact our practice confidentially. The wellbeing and safety of our clients will always remain our highest priority. — Robert Van De Berg, Founding Director The Three Seas Psychology Group *The Three Seas Psychology takes concerns about practitioner conduct seriously. We will treat enquiries confidentially and sensitively. If you wish to raise a concern directly with Ahpra, you can do so through Ahpra’s online notification process.* *This page is intended to provide support and information. It is not a substitute for emergency, crisis, legal or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger, call 000. For crisis support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, text 0477 13 11 14, or use Lifeline’s online crisis chat.* ### Please select the pathway that feels most relevant to you below: #### Victims who may need support #### Previous clients who did not experience misconduct but may be confronted by the news #### Clients who may have experienced misconduct but have not reported it [ Click here ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/vcat-support/#victims-support) [ Click here ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/vcat-support/#previous-clients-news) [ Click here ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/vcat-support/#unreported-concerns) --- ### [Teen Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/teen-mental-health/) **Published:** April 8, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ![Teen Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/images.webp "Teen Mental Heath - The Three Seas Psychology") ## Teen Mental Health Support ## **Teenagers and Mental Health: Guidance, Support & Professional Help** Adolescence can be one of the most confusing and emotionally intense times of a person’s life. As teenagers navigate the pressures of school, friendships, identity, and independence, it’s common for emotional struggles to surface. At The Three Seas Psychology, we help teens and their families understand these changes — and support them through it. ## **The State of Teen Mental Health in Australia** Mental health challenges are rising among young Australians. Research shows that by the age of 18, around **75% of teens** will experience clinically significant symptoms of **anxiety**, **depression**, or [**low self-esteem**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-esteem-counselling/ "Self-esteem counselling in Melbourne"). Early intervention and consistent support can make a lasting difference — helping young people build resilience, confidence, and self-awareness. ### **Common Mental Health Challenges in Teenagers** Every teen is different, but some of the most common concerns we help with include: - **Anxiety and Panic**: Social anxiety, school avoidance, performance anxiety - **Depression and Mood Swings** - **Low Self-Esteem and Confidence** - **Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts** - **Family and Relationship Struggles** - **Gender Identity and Sexuality** - **Grief, Loss, and Adjustment Difficulties** - **Sleep and Screen Addiction** - **Academic Pressure and Exam Stress** ### **Understanding the Teenage Brain** Teenagers are not simply “young adults” — their brains are still under construction. The **prefrontal cortex**, which manages logic, impulse control, and decision-making, is one of the last parts of the brain to mature. Meanwhile, the **limbic system**, which processes emotion and reward, is highly active. This means teens: - Feel emotions deeply - Respond strongly to peer influence - May take risks or act impulsively — without understanding why Psychological support during this phase can help teens **develop insight**, regulate emotions, and build healthy coping strategies. ### **How Parents and Carers Can Help with Teen Mental Health** As a parent, it’s not always easy to tell the difference between typical teenage moodiness and a deeper struggle. That’s why it’s important to look out for: - **Changes in sleep, [appetite](https://thethreeseas.com.au/teen-eating-disorders-parents-can-help/ "Teen Eating Disorders: What Parents Can Do to Help"), or behaviour** - **Withdrawing from friends, school, or hobbies** - **Outbursts, irritability, or loss of motivation** - **Talk of hopelessness, fear, or worthlessness** If you’re worried, **trust your instincts**. Opening a conversation — and seeking professional advice early — is a powerful act of care. ## **How Our Psychologists Help Teenagers** At The Three Seas, our team of experienced psychologists offer: ### ✅ Safe, non-judgemental spaces Teens often just need someone they can talk to — without fear of being punished or dismissed. ### ✅ Evidence-based therapies We tailor each approach using techniques like: - **CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)** - **ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)** - **Mindfulness-Based Strategies** - **Family Systems Therapy** ### ✅ Collaborative care We work with teens **and** their families to build understanding, reduce conflict, and create a shared plan forward. ### **Getting Started is Easy** You don’t need a referral to book. We offer: - In-person sessions at our 4 convenient Melbourne locations - Telehealth options for teens and families across Australia - Psychologists experienced in working with adolescents ### 📞 **Book a Confidential Appointment Today** We’re here to support your teen — and you. **Call:** (03) 9809 1000 **Email:** clientconnect@thethreeseas.com.au **Or [Book Online](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup)** ## FAQs ### What are the signs a teenager needs a psychologist? Signs may include persistent mood changes, withdrawal from friends or activities, changes in sleep or eating habits, academic decline, or expressions of hopelessness. ### How do psychologists support teenage mental health? Psychologists provide a safe space for teens to express themselves, teach evidence-based coping strategies, and work on emotional regulation, self-esteem, and resilience. ### Can parents be involved in therapy for teenagers? Yes, especially at the start. Psychologists often work collaboratively with families to improve communication and support structures at home. ### Is therapy confidential for teens? Yes, psychologists respect the teen’s privacy, but they’ll involve parents if there’s a risk to the teen’s safety or wellbeing. --- ### [Postnatal Support Group in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/postnatal-support-group-in-melbourne/) **Published:** June 10, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## RESOURCES ## Postnatal Support Group in Melbourne ## **The New Mum Reset** ## **Reclaim calm, confidence, and connection—just for you** ## **Program Overview** **This three-week series will run later in the year in 2026.** - Mum guilt, perfectionism and emotional overwhelm - Identity shifts and reconnecting with yourself - Navigating relationship changes and reconnection - Managing the mental load and burnout prevention - Building sustainable self-care that works - Setting healthy boundaries (with family, work, expectations) - Using tools to build emotional resilience so that you’re the strongest version of yourself for your family This group weaves together evidence-based therapy (ACT, CBT, Schema), mindfulness, and group reflection in a warm and non-judgemental space. You’ll leave with practical strategies and renewed emotional clarity. ### Register Your Interest ![women's group](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/968f71ad-a8c4-4b42-b751-ae89280440c1-720x480.webp) **Who Should Join?** This group is perfect for you if: - You’re a mum with a baby or toddler under 3 - You’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in guilt, or unsure how to prioritise your own wellbeing - You’re adjusting to a new work-life balance or relationship dynamics - You’re looking for connection, reflection, and professional support ![Postnatal Support Group in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/8A1FF2FE-C5B2-46E1-959F-E3D6A52FDE4E-e1749522396532-687x650.webp) ### **Meet Your Facilitator** #### **Jenny Klimovski – Senior Psychologist** [Jenny](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/jenny-klimovski/ "JENNY KLIMOVSKI – CBD & Richmond") is a warm and experienced psychologist with a deep interest in maternal mental health. She draws on over a decade of experience and postgraduate research in the postnatal space to help mothers feel empowered, validated and supported during one of life’s most demanding seasons. Who is this workshop for? This workshop is for new mums in the first few years of motherhood who are feeling overwhelmed, emotionally stretched, or simply craving time to reset, connect, and grow. It’s perfect if you’re looking for tools, support, and space to focus on you. How old should my baby be? Mums with babies from newborn up to 2 years are welcome. If your baby is slightly older but you still feel you’d benefit, feel free to reach out. What will we cover in the workshop? Each week we’ll explore a different theme including: - Navigating identity shifts and motherhood expectations - Managing overwhelm, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety - Changes in relationships and intimacy - Reconnecting with your body, values, and emotional balance - Practical mindset tools (ACT, CBT, Schema Therapy), mindfulness, and breathwork How long is the program and how many sessions? The workshop runs for 4 weeks, for 90-minute sessions each Saturday. Can I bring my baby? This is a mum-only space to allow full focus on your own wellbeing, growth, and emotional reset. What if I miss a session? If you miss a week, you’ll still receive the handouts and materials. While live attendance is ideal, each session stands alone. Please note: As this is a small-group offering with limited spots, refunds are not provided for missed sessions. Is this a therapy group? This is a psychoeducational workshop run by a registered psychologist with a background in perinatal mental health. There are elements of group sharing as well as developing tools and strategies to incorporate into daily life. I’m feeling nervous about joining a group. What if I don’t feel comfortable sharing? That’s completely okay. You’re welcome to participate as much or as little as feels right for you. While we encourage connection and discussion, there’s no pressure—this is your space, at your pace. Do I need a referral or mental health plan? No referral or plan is required. However in order to receive a Medicare rebate, a valid referral from your GP is required. How do I register? You can secure your spot by filling out the form on this page. Spaces are limited to keep the group small and supportive. --- ### [Thank You for Booking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/thank-you-for-booking/) **Published:** January 5, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Thank you for booking. --- ### [Refer A GP](https://thethreeseas.com.au/refer-a-gp/) **Published:** January 21, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ### Registration Form - Name First Last - Email\* - Phone\* - Preferred Time for a Call Back\*8 AM - 10 AM10 AM - 12 PM12 PM - 2 PM2 PM - 4 PM4 PM - 6 PM6 PM - 8 PM8 PM - 9 PM - Clinic Name - Referring Clinic Name - Comments Submit Δ --- ### [Individual Therapy in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/individual-therapy-in-melbourne/) **Published:** June 26, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Confidential, One-on-One Support for Your Mental Health** Individual therapy is a powerful tool for improving your emotional wellbeing and navigating life’s challenges. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, stuck, or simply seeking personal growth, speaking with a professional therapist in a private setting can make a lasting difference. At The Three Seas Psychology, we provide compassionate, evidence-based individual therapy tailored to your needs—in-person at our Melbourne clinics and online via Telehealth. ## What Is Individual Therapy? Individual therapy, also known as one-on-one therapy or individual counselling, is a private and confidential space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours with a qualified psychologist. Sessions are designed to support you in: - Gaining clarity and emotional insight - Building healthier coping strategies - Processing trauma, grief, or difficult life events - Improving self-esteem, confidence, and resilience - Creating meaningful change and personal growth Each session is uniquely tailored to your goals and needs. ## What Issues Can Therapy Help With? Individual therapy can support you across a wide range of mental health concerns and life circumstances, including: - Anxiety and stress - Depression and low mood - Trauma and PTSD - Grief and loss - Relationship challenges - Life transitions and identity shifts - Work-related stress or burnout - Self-esteem and body image issues - Anger management - Neurodiversity support (e.g. ADHD, ASD assessments) No issue is too big or too small. If something is affecting your mental health or quality of life, therapy can help. ## What to Expect in Individual Therapy Sessions Your therapy journey begins with an initial consultation to understand your concerns, history, and goals. From there, your psychologist will work collaboratively with you to develop a personalised treatment plan. We offer a range of therapeutic approaches, including: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Schema Therapy - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - Mindfulness-based therapies - Psychodynamic therapy - Solution-Focused Therapy All sessions are conducted in a safe, supportive, and non-judgemental environment. ## Why Choose The Three Seas for Therapy in Melbourne? - Over 25 years of experience supporting mental health across Melbourne - Registered, fully qualified psychologists with diverse specialisations - Flexible appointment options: in-person or Telehealth - Multiple locations across Melbourne - Evidence-based treatment tailored to you We’re here to walk alongside you—wherever you are on your mental health journey. ## Book an Appointment for Individual Therapy You don’t have to face things alone. Reach out to begin your therapy journey with one of our trusted Melbourne psychologists. **Call us today or book online** to schedule your first therapy session. --- ### [Parenting Challenges](https://thethreeseas.com.au/parenting-challenges/) **Published:** June 26, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Support for Parents Facing Emotional, Behavioural or Developmental Difficulties** Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding roles—but it can also be incredibly challenging. Whether you’re dealing with toddler tantrums, teen defiance, emotional overwhelm, or parental burnout, it’s normal to feel stressed, confused, or out of your depth at times. At The Three Seas Psychology, we support parents in navigating the complex emotions, responsibilities, and relationship dynamics that come with raising children. Our psychologists offer evidence-based strategies and compassionate support to help you strengthen your parenting approach and your wellbeing. ## When to Seek Support for Parenting Challenges All families experience ups and downs, but if parenting is leaving you feeling emotionally exhausted, disconnected, or constantly at odds with your child, therapy can help. We work with parents and caregivers experiencing: - Difficulty managing child behaviour or emotional outbursts - Stress related to parenting young children, tweens, or teens - Challenges setting boundaries or following through with discipline - Co-parenting conflict or separation-related parenting struggles - Feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety or anger as a parent - Burnout or emotional overload from balancing work, family, and personal needs - Worry about your child’s development, social skills, or school performance We understand that **no two families are the same**, and that parenting challenges can show up in many different ways depending on your child’s age, temperament, neurodiversity, and family circumstances. ## How Therapy Can Help Parents Working with a psychologist can give you a clearer understanding of what’s going on, why it’s happening, and how to respond in a way that builds connection rather than conflict. Through therapy, you can: - Develop practical parenting strategies tailored to your child - Learn how to regulate your own stress and emotional reactions - Improve communication with your child or co-parent - Build stronger parent-child relationships - Set boundaries that are firm, respectful, and consistent - Work through your own past experiences or triggers that affect your parenting We aim to help you parent with more confidence, calm, and compassion. ## Our Approach to Parenting Support At The Three Seas Psychology, we take a holistic and non-judgemental approach. Whether you’re parenting solo, as part of a couple, or in a blended family, we provide tailored support that respects your values and goals. We integrate therapeutic approaches such as: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for managing parenting stress and reactivity - Schema Therapy for exploring how your own upbringing affects your parenting - Emotion-Focused Therapy for building connection and emotional attunement - Behavioural strategies for consistent, positive discipline ## Parenting Support Available In-Person and Online We offer **face-to-face parenting therapy in Melbourne** as well as **online sessions via Telehealth**, so you can access support in a way that suits your schedule and lifestyle. ## Book an Appointment If parenting is becoming overwhelming and you’re unsure where to turn, we’re here to help. You don’t have to do it alone. **Call us today or book online** to speak with a psychologist who has extensive experience in helping with parenting challenges. --- ### [Resources](https://thethreeseas.com.au/resources/) **Published:** January 28, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Resources to Support Your Mental Health Journey At **The Three Seas Psychology**, we believe that understanding yourself is a powerful part of healing. Our Resources Hub brings together evidence-based mental health information, practical tools, and clinician-recommended learning to support you between sessions or as a starting point for care. Whether you’re seeking guidance for anxiety, relationships, trauma, parenting, or emotional wellbeing, these resources are designed to be accessible, compassionate, and grounded in contemporary psychological practice. ## Mental Health Blog Our blog offers thoughtful, clinically informed articles. Topics include: - Anxiety, stress, and emotional regulation - Relationships, attachment, and communication - Trauma-informed care and nervous system health - Parenting, childhood development, and adolescence - Mental health across life stages Each article is designed to provide clarity, reduce stigma, and help you make sense of what you’re experiencing, without overwhelm or clinical jargon. 👉 *Explore our [Mental Health Blog](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/ "Blog")* ## Mental Health Tools & Worksheets Practical tools can make a meaningful difference in everyday life. Our **mental health tools and worksheets** are designed to support reflection, skill-building, and emotional awareness. These resources draw on therapeutic approaches such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), and trauma-informed frameworks. You may find tools to support: - Emotional regulation and coping strategies - Anxiety and stress management - Values clarification and goal setting - Mindfulness and grounding - Communication and relationships 👉 *Access Mental Health Tools & Worksheets* ## Recommended Books & Podcasts Learning from trusted voices can help you feel less alone and more informed. Our psychologists curate **recommended books and podcasts** that align with evidence-based psychology and relational, trauma-aware practice. These recommendations are suitable for adults, parents, and carers looking to deepen their understanding of mental health and wellbeing. Topics may include: - Emotional wellbeing and resilience - Relationships and attachment - Trauma recovery - Parenting and child development - Neurodiversity and mental health 👉 [*Browse Recommended Books & Podcasts*](https://thethreeseas.com.au/recommended-books-and-podcasts/ "Recommended Books and Podcasts") ## Workshops & Events We regularly offer **workshops, talks, and events** designed to build psychological skills, foster connection, and provide accessible mental health education. 👉 *View Upcoming [Workshops & Events](https://thethreeseas.com.au/postnatal-support-group-in-melbourne/ "Postnatal Support Group in Melbourne")* ## Free Mental Health Resources We offer a small collection of free, psychologist-designed resources to support your nervous system, emotional regulation, and sense of grounding. These resources are designed to be gentle, accessible, and easy to integrate into daily life. They may be helpful if you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or simply looking for practical ways to support your wellbeing between therapy sessions. Our free resources currently include: - Guided journal prompts to support nervous system awareness and self-reflection - A short, guided meditation designed to promote calm and grounding - Tools that encourage slowing down, noticing, and reconnecting with your body These resources are not a replacement for therapy, but they can offer a meaningful starting point or a supportive addition to your mental health care.👉 *Explore [Free Mental Health Resources](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources/ "Free Mental Health Resources")* ## FAQs, Medicare & Rebates Information Understanding how psychological care works, and what support options are available, can feel confusing. We’ve created clear, plain-language information to help guide you. Our **[FAQs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/general-faqs/ "General FAQs") and [Medicare & rebate](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-and-bulk-billing/ "Medicare and Bulk Billing") resources** are designed to support people who are: - Exploring mental health support under Medicare - Unsure whether short-term or ongoing therapy is right for them - Seeking clarity around rebates, referrals, and out-of-pocket costs This includes guidance on the difference between the **Medicare Mental Health Check-In service** and **ongoing psychology support**, so you can make an informed decision based on your needs, stage of life, and the level of care required. 👉 *Read: [Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Ongoing Psychology Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-mental-health-check-in-vs-ongoing-psychology-support/)* ## Looking for Personalised Support? Resources can be helpful, but they’re not a replacement for personalised care. If you’re seeking tailored psychological support for yourself, your child, or your family, our psychologists offer face-to-face therapy across Melbourne. We work with adults, adolescents, children, couples, and families. 👉 *Learn more about our [Psychology Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/ "Mental Health Services")* 👉 *Contact The Three Seas Psychology* --- ### [Choose Your Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/) **Published:** May 24, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly --- ### [Couples Retreat](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-retreat/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Couples Retreat ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Couples Retreat This retreat is now over. Please ask us about our upcoming retreats by calling 03 9809 1000 **Looking for a couples retreat in Victoria?** The Three Seas Psychology does **not currently offer couples retreats**. However, we **do offer [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/ "Couples Counselling in Melbourne") in Melbourne** for couples who want support with communication, conflict, trust, intimacy, life transitions, separation concerns, or rebuilding connection. If you were searching for a couples retreat, couples therapy retreat, or relationship retreat in Victoria, our couples counselling service may be the best next step available right now. We also welcome expressions of interest from couples who would like to hear about any future retreat offerings. Many couples search for a **couples retreat in Victoria** when they want dedicated time and support to work on their relationship. Often, they are looking for help with recurring arguments, emotional distance, trust issues, major life stress, parenting pressures, or the feeling that the relationship has lost its sense of closeness. At The Three Seas Psychology, we do not currently run a live couples retreat program. What we do offer is **couples counselling in Melbourne** with experienced psychologists who support couples to better understand one another, communicate more effectively, navigate conflict, and work toward meaningful change. For many couples, counselling can be a practical and valuable first step. It creates space to slow down, talk honestly, and begin addressing the patterns that are keeping the relationship stuck. Whether you are facing long-standing difficulties or simply want support before issues deepen, couples counselling can help you move forward with more clarity and care. ## Couples Counselling May Help With: - ongoing conflict and arguments - communication difficulties - emotional disconnection - trust issues and [infidelity](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-psychology-of-infidelity/ "The Psychology of Infidelity") recovery - intimacy and relationship strain - parenting and family stress - [separation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/divorce-and-separation/ "Divorce and Separation") and relationship uncertainty - navigating life transitions together If you were hoping to attend a **relationship retreat in Victoria**, our Melbourne-based couples counselling service may offer the support you need now, without waiting for a future retreat intake. ## Why People Search for Couples Retreats People often search for terms like **couples retreat Victoria**, **couples therapy retreat Victoria**, **couples retreat Melbourne**, or **relationship retreat Australia** because they want focused support and a chance to reconnect away from daily pressures. In many cases, what they are really looking for is skilled, structured relationship support. While The Three Seas Psychology does not currently provide a retreat format, we do provide access to **professional couples counselling in Melbourne**, which can support many of the same goals, including better communication, deeper understanding, conflict resolution, and reconnection. ## Get Support for your Relationship Now If you are looking for help now, we encourage you to explore our **couples counselling Melbourne** service. **Book an appointment or contact our team to discuss couples counselling.** If you are specifically interested in a future retreat format, you can also **register your interest for future couples retreats**. ## Frequently Asked Questions Do you currently offer a couples retreat in Victoria? No. The Three Seas Psychology does not currently offer a live couples retreat program in Victoria. We have in the past and are currently accepting expressions of interest. Do you offer couples counselling instead? Yes. We offer **couples counselling in Melbourne** for couples seeking support with communication, conflict, trust, emotional disconnection, intimacy concerns, and other relationship challenges. Is couples counselling a good alternative to a couples retreat? For many couples, yes. If you are looking for structured support, better communication, and guidance through relationship difficulties, couples counselling can be an effective and accessible next step. It can offer some of the same foundational benefits as a more immersive couples retreat experience. What if I was specifically looking for a couples therapy retreat? If you were searching for a **couples therapy retreat**, **couples retreat Victoria**, or **relationship retreat Melbourne**, our couples counselling service may still be the most relevant option available right now. It offers professional support tailored to your relationship needs. Otherwise we are accepting expressions of interest for couples retreats. Can I register interest in a future couples retreat? Yes. If retreat programs become available in future, you can register your interest and our team can keep your details on file for relevant updates. What issues can couples counselling help with? Couples counselling may help with recurring arguments, communication problems, trust issues, emotional distance, intimacy concerns, parenting stress, separation decisions, and major life changes affecting the relationship. Where is couples counselling available? The Three Seas Psychology offers couples counselling across **four Melbourne locations**. Our team includes a number of psychologists with extensive experience in **couples-specific counselling**, and we welcome you to contact us to discuss availability, location options, and the most suitable next step for your circumstances. ### Take The Next Step If your relationship is under strain, support is available now through **couples counselling in Melbourne**. If you would like to hear about any future **couples retreat** offerings, you can also register your interest with our team. ## Enquire About Couples Counselling Please note: we are not currently offering a couples retreat program. This form is for couples counselling enquiries and future retreat interest. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [The GP Referral Hub](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-gp-referral-hub/) **Published:** October 31, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ![GP Referral Hub 2](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/GP-Referral-Hub-2.png "GP Referral Hub 2 - The Three Seas Psychology") ## Your guide to referring patients for psychology services under Medicare’s Better Access Initiative ## **Welcome to The Three Seas Psychology GP Referral Hub.** We work closely with GPs to provide timely, evidence-based psychological support for patients under Medicare’s Better Access initiative. Our team supports a wide range of presenting concerns, with both in-person and telehealth appointments available. We currently have **availability for new referrals**, with patients typically able to commence sessions within a short timeframe. Once a referral is received, our team will contact the patient within 24–48 hours to arrange their first appointment. Referrals can be sent via **email, fax or phone**, and we are always happy to discuss suitability, availability or patient needs prior to referral. You can also learn more about our team and areas of expertise on our [**Meet the Psychologists**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Meet Our Psychologists") page. [ Submit a Referral ](#) **Referral Contact Details** Email: clientconnect@thethreeseas.com.au Fax: 03 98091003 Phone: 03 98091000 ## How to Refer a Patient at a Glance 1\. Complete a Mental Health Treatment Plan Use MBS items 2700, 2701, 2715 or 2717. 2\. Write a Referral Letter Signed, dated, and addressed to The Three Seas Psychology. 3\. Send to Us Email or fax 4\. We Contact the Patient Intake completed within 24–48 hours. [ Refer a Patient Now ](#) ## Medicare & Better Access Explained ![GP Referral Info](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Referral-Info-720x405.png "Referral Info - The Three Seas Psychology") ### Understanding the Better Access Initiative Eligible patients can access up to 10 Medicare-rebated psychology sessions per calendar year under the Better Access Initiative. GPs create a Mental Health Treatment Plan and refer directly to registered psychologists. After six sessions, a brief review is required before further sessions are approved. [ Read full guide to Medicare referrals → ](#) ### How the Referral Process Works Step 1 — Assess and prepare a Mental Health Treatment Plan - Identify the patient’s presenting mental health concerns and confirm eligibility for Medicare rebates. - Complete a GP Mental Health Treatment Plan (MBS items 2700, 2701, 2715, or 2717). - Document the diagnosis and treatment goals to accompany your referral. Step 2 — Write and send referral letter Address the letter to The Three Seas Psychology *or* a specific psychologist if preferred. **Inclusions:**- Patient’s name - Patient’s date of birth - Patient’s address - Diagnosis - List of any current medications - Number of sessions the patient is being referred for - The GP’s signature and date of completion - GP provider number **Send the referral securely** via email or fax. Step 3 — Initial sessions and mid-treatment update - The patient attends up to six sessions with a registered psychologist. - We focus on assessment, treatment planning, and early intervention goals. - Practitioners will contact the GP after the 1st session is accessed on a referral, and then again after the final session is used. Step 4 — Review and extend sessions - The patient returns to you for a review after six sessions. - If continued care is appropriate, issue a new referral for up to four additional sessions. - We maintain communication to ensure treatment continuity and shared goals. Step 5 — Completion and final report - Once therapy concludes, we send a written summary of treatment outcomes and recommendations. - The report supports your ongoing management plan and any future referrals. - Patients can return for new sessions in the next calendar year if required. ## Why Refer to The Three Seas Psychology? #### Collaborative Care We keep you informed with progress reports and end-of-treatment summaries. #### Expert Psychologists All general and clinical psychologists are AHPRA registered and evidence-based. #### Flexible Access Face-to-face or telehealth sessions available. #### Medicare Our team provides timely correspondence to keep GPs informed of progress and outcomes. ## Frequently Asked Questions for Referring GPs How many psychology sessions are covered under Medicare? - 10 sessions per year. What information should be included in a GP referral? Address the letter to The Three Seas Psychology *or* a specific psychologist if preferred. **Inclusions:**- Patient’s name - Patient’s date of birth - Patient’s address - Diagnosis - List of any current medications - Number of sessions the patient is being referred for - The GP’s signature and date of completion - GP provider number Do referrals need to be addressed to a specific psychologist? - Yes, telehealth sessions are eligible for rebates Are telehealth sessions eligible for Medicare rebates? - Yes, telehealth sessions are eligible for rebates What happens after a patient completes their sessions? Once sessions are complete, clients can usually access private health insurance rebates (subject to their insurer and level of cover). In some cases, a GP may determine that a Chronic Condition Management Plan is appropriate. ## Resource and Downloads • **Better Access Fact Sheet (Health.gov.au)** [View](https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/2024-07/better-access-fact-sheet-professionals.pdf) • **AAPi GP Guide to Better Access** [View](https://www.aapi.org.au/Web/Web/Find-a-Psychologist/Refer-to-a-Psychologist.aspx) • **Valid Referrals to Psychologists under MBS Better Access** [Download](https://aapi.org.au/common/Uploaded%20files/2022-GP-Guide-Better-Access.pdf) • **Better Access Changes from 1 November 2025** [View](https://www.mbsonline.gov.au/internet/mbsonline/publishing.nsf/Content/Factsheet-Better+Access+changes+from+1+November+2025) • **Better Access Redesign – from 1 November 2025** [View](https://www.health.gov.au/resources/publications/better-access-redesign-from-1-november-2025?language=en) • **Meet Our Psychologists** [View](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) ## About The Three Seas Psychology The Three Seas Psychology is a Melbourne-based practice offering individual, couple, and family therapy. Our clinicians are experienced in treating a wide range of mental health concerns, working closely with GPs to provide coordinated, evidence-based care. – Reviewed by Kimberly Daniels Last updated, November 2025 --- ### [Psychology Workshops & Programs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources/psychology-workshops-programs/) **Published:** March 17, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** At The Three Seas Psychology, we offer a range of evidence-informed **mental health workshops and psychology programs** designed to support emotional wellbeing, relationships, parenting, and personal growth. Our **psychology workshops and courses** are created by experienced clinicians and focus on practical strategies people can apply in everyday life. Some programs are short educational workshops, while others are structured multi-week courses designed to create lasting change. Whether you are looking for support with parenting, emotional regulation, anger management, or personal development, our programs aim to provide practical tools in a safe and supportive environment. ## Current Psychology Workshops & Programs ### Anger Management Course Our anger management course helps individuals understand the psychological drivers of anger and develop healthier ways to respond to frustration, conflict, and emotional overwhelm. Participants learn evidence-based emotional regulation strategies and practical tools that can be applied in everyday situations. [ Click here ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management-course-melbourne/) ### New Mum Reset A supportive psychology program designed for new mothers navigating the emotional and psychological transition into parenthood. The program focuses on emotional regulation, self-care strategies, and practical tools to help mothers feel more confident and supported during early motherhood. [ Click here ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/postnatal-support-group-in-melbourne/) ## Frequently Asked Questions About Psychology Workshops What is a psychology workshop? Psychology workshops are structured educational sessions that teach evidence-based strategies to improve mental health, emotional regulation, relationships, and wellbeing. How are psychology workshops different from therapy? Workshops focus on learning practical strategies and psychological concepts in a structured format. Therapy involves personalised treatment with a psychologist tailored to an individual’s circumstances. Do I need a referral to attend a workshop? Most workshops and courses do not require a referral. However, eligibility may vary depending on the program. Are your workshops run online or in person? Workshops may be offered online, in person, or in hybrid formats depending on the program. --- ### [Anger Management Course Melbourne | Join Waitlist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management-course-melbourne/) **Published:** February 24, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Anger Management Course Melbourne ## Looking for an anger management course in Melbourne? Feel like your anger sometimes gets the better of you? You’re not alone. Many people struggle with managing anger at times — and change is possible. Our upcoming **anger management course in Melbourne** is a structured, psychologist-led program designed to help adults better understand anger, recognise triggers, and develop healthier ways of responding in difficult situations. The program focuses on practical tools and skills that can be applied in everyday life — whether in relationships, at work, or during stressful situations. We are currently accepting **expressions of interest for the next intake.** **Join the waitlist below to be notified first.** [ Join the Waitlist ](#waitlist-form) ### Confidential. Psychologist-led. No obligation. ## What Is an Anger Management Course? An anger management course helps people understand why anger escalates and learn practical strategies to respond differently. Most anger management programs focus on: - recognising anger triggers - understanding how thoughts influence emotional reactions - learning communication and assertiveness skills - developing tools to regulate emotional responses - responding to conflict in healthier ways The goal is not to eliminate anger, but to **develop healthier ways to manage and express it.** ## Who Is This Anger Management Course For? This program may be helpful if you recognise patterns such as: - your anger escalating quickly in stressful situations - regretting things you say or do during arguments - tension in relationships due to irritability or frustration - feeling constantly “on edge” or easily triggered - difficulty calming down once you become angry - being told by others that you struggle with anger - wanting practical strategies to respond differently in conflict situations Many people who join anger management programs are simply looking for **healthier ways to respond to stress, frustration, or relationship conflict.** Anger itself is a normal human emotion. The aim of anger management is to **develop more constructive ways of responding when anger arises.** Whether you are a parent, partner, professional, or simply wanting to better understand your reactions, this course focuses on **real-world skills you can apply immediately.** ## What Causes Ongoing Anger Issues? Anger is rarely “just anger.” For many people, chronic anger is linked to: - Anger is rarely “just anger.” For many people, chronic anger can be linked to underlying patterns such as: - unresolved stress or life pressures - past experiences or learned behaviour patterns - emotional sensitivity to criticism or rejection - feeling unheard or powerless in relationships - nervous system dysregulation or chronic stress Understanding these patterns is often the **first step toward meaningful change.** ## What Will You Learn in an Anger Management Course? Participants will learn practical skills to better understand and manage anger in everyday life. - understand the difference between anger and aggression - identify personal triggers and early warning signs of anger - recognise how thoughts and beliefs influence emotional reactions - develop strategies to interrupt reactive anger cycles - learn communication and assertiveness skills for conflict situations - understand the body’s fight-or-flight response - practise techniques to regulate emotional responses - express needs and boundaries in healthier ways - develop long-term strategies for managing anger in relationships and daily life The focus of the program is **practical and skills-based learning.** ## How the Waitlist Works We are currently finalising: - Group format structure - Duration and schedule - Facilitator team - Intake dates By joining the waitlist, you will: - Be notified before public release - Receive early registration access - Receive course details and pricing - Be able to ask suitability questions Spots will be limited to maintain psychological safety within the group. [ Join the Waitlist ](#waitlist-form) ## Is This Anger Management Program Court-Ordered? This program is a therapeutic skills-based course. If you require court-mandated anger management documentation, please contact us directly to discuss suitability. ## Is Anger Management Covered by Medicare? If facilitated by a registered psychologist and accessed via a GP Mental Health Care Plan, Medicare rebates may apply. Eligibility and structure will be confirmed once intake details are finalised. You do not need a referral to join the waitlist. ## Your FAQs Answered How long is the anger management course? Final duration is being confirmed, but the program is expected to run across multiple structured sessions to allow skill integration and practice. Is This Anger Management Course In-Person or Online? This anger management course will be delivered **in person in Melbourne** in a structured group format led by a registered psychologist. Group programs allow participants to: - Learn alongside others experiencing similar challenges - Practise communication skills in a safe environment - Gain perspective and reduce shame - Build accountability between sessions If there is sufficient interest in an online format in the future, this may be considered. Waitlist members will be notified of any additional delivery options. Is this suitable if I’ve experienced trauma? Yes. The course will be trauma-informed and grounded in nervous system regulation principles. Do I need a diagnosis to join? No diagnosis is required. The program is designed for adults wanting structured support to manage anger differently. --- ### [Understanding Mental Health Care Plan in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-mental-health-care-plan-in-australia/) **Published:** January 10, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) ## Understanding Mental Health Care Plan in Australia Accessing affordable mental health support is a key concern for many Australians. One of the most common pathways to subsidised psychology care is through a Mental Health Care Plan, developed by a General Practitioner under the Better Access initiative. Understanding how Mental Health Care Plans work, who is eligible, and how to access one can be an important first step toward receiving professional mental health support. ## What Is a Mental Health Care Plan in Australia? A Mental Health Care Plan in Australia is a GP-developed referral that provides access to Medicare-subsidised psychology sessions. It outlines treatment goals, referrals, and structured mental health support. A MHCP is a personalised, structured approach to managing mental health conditions. It outlines your mental health goals, recommended treatment approaches, and referrals to allied mental health professionals such as psychologists, social workers, or mental health nurses. The plan ensures your care is coordinated, evidence-based, and tailored to your individual needs. ## Who Is Eligible for a Mental Health Care Plan? To be eligible for a Mental Health Care Plan in Australia, you must: - Have a diagnosable mental health condition (assessed by a GP) - Be likely to benefit from structured psychological support Your GP will conduct an assessment, discuss your mental health history, and determine whether a plan is clinically appropriate. ## How Many Sessions Does Medicare Cover? Under the Better Access initiative, Medicare provides rebates for: - Up to 10 individual therapy sessions per calendar year - Up to 10 group therapy sessions These sessions can be delivered by: - Psychologists - Accredited social workers - Mental health nurses Medicare rebates help reduce out-of-pocket costs, making therapy more financially accessible. ## How to Get a Mental Health Care Plan To obtain a Mental Health Treatment Plan, follow these steps: **1. Book a GP appointment** Discuss your mental health concerns openly. **2. Complete a mental health assessment** Your GP will evaluate symptoms, functioning, and support needs. **3. Receive your plan and referral** If eligible, your GP will create your plan and refer you to a psychologist or specialist. **4. Begin therapy** You can then book Medicare-subsidised sessions. ## Why Seek a Mental Health Care Plan? A Mental Health Care Plan empowers individuals to access structured, evidence-based psychological care at a reduced cost. Whether you’re experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma, or life stressors, a plan can connect you with the right mental health professional and provide a clear pathway to support. ## Take the First Step If you’re considering therapy, speak with your GP about creating a Mental Health Care Plan in Australia. Early support can make a meaningful difference to your mental health and overall wellbeing. --- ### [What is the difference between Counsellors and Psychologists?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-is-the-difference-between-counsellors-and-psychologists/) **Published:** February 11, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Understanding the Difference and Finding the Right Support When seeking mental health support, many people wonder: what is the [difference](https://www.deakin.edu.au/articles/study-areas/psychology/whats-the-difference-between-psychology-and-counselling) between a counsellor and a psychologist? At The Three Seas, we offer professional counselling services in Melbourne to help individuals navigate life’s challenges, improve mental well-being, and develop effective coping strategies. ## What is a Counsellor? A counsellor is a trained professional who provides support, guidance, and strategies to help individuals address personal, emotional, and psychological challenges. Counsellors work with clients experiencing a wide range of concerns, including stress, anxiety, relationship issues, grief, and personal growth. ### Key Aspects of Counselling Services: - Focus on practical solutions and emotional support - Suitable for personal development and well-being - Ideal for individuals experiencing life transitions, stress, and emotional difficulties - Can assist with relationship and workplace challenges - Generally more cost-effective compared to psychological services, making them an accessible option for many individuals seeking support (ranging from $135 – $230) At The Three Seas, our experienced Melbourne counsellors offer a safe and supportive environment where you can openly discuss your concerns and develop strategies to enhance your well-being. We are proud to have two dedicated counsellors on staff: [Jaimee Krawitz](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/jaimee-krawitz/ "JAIMEE KRAWITZ – Fitzroy North & Richmond"), who focuses in helping individuals navigate stress and anxiety with a warm and compassionate approach, and [Matt Watson](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/matt-watson-richmond/ "MATT WATSON – Richmond"), who brings extensive experience in supporting clients through relationship challenges and personal growth. Their expertise ensures that you receive high-quality support tailored to your unique needs. ## What is a Psychologist? A psychologist is a registered mental health professional who has completed extensive education and training in the study of human behaviour, mental health conditions, and evidence-based therapeutic approaches. Psychologists often provide assessment, diagnosis, and treatment for mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, and trauma-related conditions. ### Key Aspects of Psychological Services: - Focus on diagnosing and treating mental health disorders - Use evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - May conduct psychological assessments and reports - Require registration with the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA) ## Should You See a Counsellor or a Psychologist? The decision between seeing a counsellor or a psychologist depends on your needs: - If you are experiencing general stress, emotional difficulties, or need guidance in navigating life challenges, a counsellor may be the right choice. - If you require diagnosis and treatment for a mental health condition, a psychologist may be more appropriate. ### Why Choose Counselling at The Three Seas? At The Three Seas, we believe that counselling is a powerful tool for self-improvement and mental well-being. Our counsellors in Melbourne are highly trained professionals who use evidence-based approaches to help you develop resilience, improve relationships, and achieve personal growth. With Jaimee and Matt on our team, you can be assured of professional, empathetic support tailored to your individual needs. Our Counselling Services Include: - Individual counselling - Relationship and couples counselling - Stress and anxiety management - Grief and loss support - Workplace and career counselling - Personal development coaching Book a Counselling Session in Melbourne Today! If you are looking for compassionate and professional counselling in Melbourne, The Three Seas is here to support you. Contact us today to schedule an appointment and take the first step towards a healthier, more balanced life. Get in Touch 📍 4 Convenient Melbourne locations 📞 Call us onCall us: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) 📩 Book [online](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) today --- ### [LGBTQAI+ Affirming Psychologists in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-three-seas-psychology-group/lgbtqai-affirming-psychologists-in-melbourne-safe-inclusive-therapy/) **Published:** April 29, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) ## LGBTQAI+ Affirming Psychologists in Melbourne At The Three Seas, we offer safe, inclusive, and affirming mental health support for LGBTQAI+ individuals. Whether you are seeking help for anxiety, depression, identity exploration, relationship challenges, or trauma, our experienced team is here for you. If you’re searching for a compassionate LGBTQAI+ psychologist near you, we invite you to experience care that honours and supports your unique journey. ## Why Affirming LGBTQAI+ Therapy Is Vital At The Three Seas, we understand that for LGBTQAI+ individuals, finding a psychologist who offers genuine, informed, and affirming support is essential for meaningful mental health care. Many members of the LGBTQAI+ community have faced barriers to accessing respectful services in the past, and we are committed to creating an environment where you feel seen, heard, and safe. ### Emotional Safety Emotional safety is the foundation of effective therapy. For LGBTQAI+ individuals, emotional safety means knowing that your identity will not be questioned, pathologised, or minimised. It means being supported in a space free from judgement or assumptions. At The Three Seas, we foster an environment where you are free to express yourself fully, explore your experiences openly, and feel empowered to work through challenges without fear of discrimination or misunderstanding. ### Historical Discrimination in Mental Health Historically, the mental health field has not always been a safe place for LGBTQAI+ individuals. Until relatively recently, diverse sexual orientations and gender identities were often pathologised rather than affirmed. This legacy of discrimination has led to understandable mistrust for many seeking psychological support. At The Three Seas, we acknowledge this history and are committed to providing therapy that is not only free from bias but actively celebrates the richness and diversity of LGBTQAI+ identities. We believe that therapy should empower, not erase. ### The Need for Truly Informed, Validating Support Affirming therapy goes beyond “acceptance” — it requires informed, continuous learning on the part of the psychologist. Our team members are dedicated to understanding the unique challenges faced by LGBTQAI+ individuals, from experiences of minority stress to the complexities of identity development. Validating support means recognising that your experiences are real, important, and deserving of compassionate care. It means therapy that centres your autonomy, respects your lived experience, and adapts to your needs, rather than trying to fit you into a predefined framework. ### Positive Identity Development A core goal of affirming therapy is to support positive identity development. Rather than viewing LGBTQAI+ identities as issues to be “managed,” affirming psychologists recognise them as healthy, valuable parts of who you are. Through therapy, we aim to help you build a strong, resilient sense of self, fostering pride, self-compassion, and confidence in your identity. This positive identity development can enhance mental health outcomes, improve relationships, and empower you to navigate the broader world authentically. ### The Role of Minority Stress and Intersectionality We recognise that many LGBTQAI+ individuals experience “minority stress” — the cumulative impact of facing stigma, discrimination, and marginalisation. For some, this may intersect with other aspects of identity such as race, disability, socioeconomic background, or cultural heritage, creating layers of complexity in lived experiences. At The Three Seas, we take an intersectional approach to care, recognising that no two journeys are the same. We are committed to understanding how your unique identities shape your experiences, and to working collaboratively with you to navigate these challenges in a way that feels empowering and respectful. ## Our Areas of Expertise Supporting LGBTQAI+ Clients - Identity exploration and affirmation - Support during coming out processes - Gender affirmation journeys (including transition-related support) - Relationship and family issues (chosen family support too) - Minority stress, stigma, and discrimination-related trauma - Depression, anxiety, and mental health conditions - Navigating workplaces, education, and societal structures as LGBTQAI+ - Support for LGBTQAI+ young people, adults, couples, and families ## Our LGBTQAI+ Affirming Psychologists At The Three Seas, our psychologists are committed to affirming and celebrating LGBTQAI+ identities. Every member of our team receives regular inclusivity and cultural safety training to ensure therapy is a safe and validating space for all. While not all of our psychologists identify as LGBTQAI+, we are dedicated to providing affirming, supportive care based on lived experience, ongoing learning, and respect for your personal journey. ## How Therapy with Us Works - No referral needed (unless claiming Medicare rebates with a GP referral) - In-person appointments across Melbourne (Fitzroy North, Melbourne CBD, Richmond, Wantirna South) - Australia-wide Telehealth sessions available - Confidential, non-judgmental environment - Flexible options to meet your needs ## Why Choose The Three Seas Psychology? - Over 20 years supporting Melbourne’s communities - [Trauma-informed](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ptsd-melbourne/ "Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)"), culturally sensitive care - Safe, welcoming spaces - Ongoing commitment to LGBTQAI+ inclusivity - Flexible appointment types (in-person and online) **Take the first step towards affirming support today.** Contact us to [book an appointment](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) with an LGBTQAI+ affirming psychologist. ## LGBTQAI+ Therapy – Frequently Asked Questions ### What is LGBTQAI+ affirming therapy? LGBTQAI+ affirming therapy is a supportive, inclusive approach to psychological care that respects and celebrates diverse sexualities, gender identities, and expressions. It acknowledges the impact of societal stigma and discrimination while focusing on building resilience, self-acceptance, and emotional wellbeing. At The Three Seas, affirming therapy means you are seen, heard, and valued exactly as you are. Our psychologists are trained to provide a safe, validating environment where your identity is celebrated, not questioned or pathologised. ### How do I find an LGBTQAI+ psychologist near me? When looking for an LGBTQAI+ affirming psychologist near you, it’s important to seek professionals who explicitly state their commitment to inclusivity and cultural safety. Look for psychologists who offer affirming services, have experience supporting LGBTQAI+ individuals, and demonstrate an understanding of the unique challenges the community may face. At The Three Seas, we offer affirming, inclusive therapy services across Melbourne and Australia through Telehealth, making it easier to access support wherever you are. ### Is therapy confidential? Yes, absolutely. All sessions at The Three Seas are strictly confidential in line with Australian privacy laws and professional ethical standards. Everything you share with your psychologist is private and protected, unless there is a legal obligation to act (for example, if there is an immediate risk of harm to yourself or others). We are committed to creating a safe space where you can explore your experiences without fear of judgement, stigma, or breach of confidentiality. ### Can I access Medicare rebates for LGBTQAI+ therapy? Yes, Medicare rebates are available for therapy sessions if you obtain a Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP) from your general practitioner (GP). This plan provides access to a number of subsidised sessions with a registered psychologist each calendar year. Our team can guide you through the process if you are unsure how to get started. At The Three Seas, we believe mental health support should be accessible and affordable for everyone. ### Do you offer Telehealth sessions for LGBTQAI+ clients? Yes, we offer Telehealth appointments Australia-wide. Whether you are based in Melbourne, in regional Victoria, or elsewhere across Australia, you can access affirming LGBTQAI+ support from the comfort and safety of your own space. Telehealth offers flexibility and convenience, particularly for individuals who may not have an affirming practitioner nearby or who prefer remote sessions. Our Telehealth services are conducted securely and confidentially, ensuring the same level of care as in-person therapy. ### What issues can LGBTQAI+ affirming psychologists help with? Our LGBTQAI+ affirming psychologists are experienced in supporting a wide range of concerns, including: - Anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions - Identity exploration and affirmation - Navigating coming out experiences - Relationship and family issues - Experiences of minority stress, stigma, or discrimination - Trauma and complex trauma - Gender affirmation journeys and transition-related support - Self-esteem, resilience, and wellbeing building Whether you are seeking support for general mental health challenges or wish to explore experiences specific to your LGBTQAI+ identity, our team is here to walk alongside you. --- ### [Understanding the Difference Between a Psychologist and Psychiatrist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-the-difference-between-a-psychologist-and-psychiatrist/) **Published:** July 28, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** If you’ve been exploring mental health support options, you may be wondering: *What does a psychiatrist do, and how are they different from a psychologist?* At The Three Seas Psychology, we understand this confusion is common, and we’re here to help clarify. ### A Psychiatrist Is a Medical Doctor A psychiatrist is a **qualified medical doctor** who has completed additional specialist training in psychiatry, the branch of medicine that focuses on mental health. This means that unlike psychologists, psychiatrists are able to: - **Diagnose mental health conditions** with consideration of physical health factors - **Prescribe medication** - **Offer medical advice** related to your symptoms - **Monitor and manage side effects** of medication - Refer for further testing if needed ## Psychologist vs Psychiatrist: What’s the Difference? The difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist largely comes down to **training and treatment focus**: - **Psychologists** are trained in talk therapy (e.g., CBT, ACT, Schema Therapy) and focus on thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. - **Psychiatrists** are medical doctors who can prescribe medication and manage more complex mental health conditions with a **biological and pharmacological focus**. In many cases, individuals benefit from a combination of both: medication prescribed by a psychiatrist, alongside therapy with a psychologist. ## When Should You See a Psychiatrist? While many people benefit from therapy alone, you may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist if: - You’re experiencing **severe or persistent symptoms** like suicidal thoughts, insomnia, hallucinations, or panic attacks. - You’ve tried therapy but **haven’t seen significant improvement** after several months. - You’ve previously been prescribed medication for a mental health condition. - You have a **family history** of complex or severe mental illness. - Your mental health symptoms are accompanied by **physical symptoms**, like nausea or elevated blood pressure. - Others have expressed concern about your wellbeing or changes in behaviour. Psychiatrists can play a critical role in stabilising symptoms so that therapy becomes more effective. ## What to Expect from a Psychiatrist Modern psychiatrists typically focus on **assessment, diagnosis, and medication management**. However, some may also provide talk therapy or collaborate with your psychologist. During a psychiatric consultation, you can expect: - A discussion of your **mental and physical health history** - Exploration of **treatment options**, including medication - Support for managing side effects - Recommendations around **lifestyle factors** (diet, sleep, exercise) - Collaboration with your GP or therapist to ensure continuity of care ## Questions to Ask a Psychiatrist Choosing the right mental health professional is important. Consider asking: - Have you treated people with similar concerns to mine? - Do you also offer counselling, or only medication support? - How do you decide which medication to prescribe? - What happens if I experience side effects or don’t respond well? - How do you work with other providers like psychologists or GPs? - How long do you anticipate I’ll need to stay in treatment? ## Psychiatry at The Three Seas At The Three Seas, we believe in a **collaborative and holistic approach** to mental health care. While **[Dr William Soo](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/william/ "WILLIAM SOO – CBD & Richmond"), our psychiatrist, is not currently accepting new clients**, our team includes highly trained psychologists who can assess whether a psychiatric referral may benefit your situation. We offer psychiatry-informed support for conditions such as: - **Anxiety and Depression** - **ADHD** - **Bipolar Disorder** - **Trauma-Related Disorders** - **Psychosis and Mood Disorders** Our psychologists can also work with your psychiatrist to ensure your care is well-integrated. ### Local Psychiatric Support in Melbourne If you are searching for a **psychiatrist in Melbourne** or want to understand more about the **difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist**, we’re here to guide you. We also accept clients with **Medicare referrals**, and can help you navigate rebates and care options. ## Access Care In-Person or Via Telehealth Whether you prefer to see someone **face-to-face in Melbourne** or access care via **Telehealth**, our team is ready to support your journey to improved mental health. --- ### [Sex Addiction Counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-addiction-counselling-in-melbourne/) **Published:** January 14, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Confidential and Professional Support from Expert Psychologists** Sex addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behaviour, can have a significant impact on relationships, personal well-being, and overall quality of life. At The Three Seas Psychology Group, we offer expert sex addiction counselling to help you regain control and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling life. ## What is Sex Addiction? Sex addiction involves engaging in sexual behaviours compulsively, often as a way to cope with underlying emotional issues such as stress, trauma, or loneliness. These behaviours may persist despite negative consequences, impacting your relationships and daily functioning. Recognising the signs and seeking professional help is a vital first step towards recovery. --- ## Meet Our Sex Addiction Special Interest Psychologists Our team includes highly experienced psychologists with expertise in addressing sex addiction. They provide evidence-based, personalised care to support your recovery journey. Here are the specialists available to help: ### **Dr. Qusai Hussain – Melbourne CBD** Dr. Qusai Hussain is a board-endorsed Clinical and Forensic Psychologist. He offers support for trauma, sexual abuse, relationships, and workplace stress, utilising therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Schema Therapy (ST). [View Dr. Qusai Hussain’s Full Profile.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/dr-qusai-hussain-cbd/) ### **Jaimee Krawitz – Fitzroy North and Richmond** Jaimee Krawitz is a registered counsellor and an accredited eating disorder clinician with ANZAED. Her vision is to foster an environment that promotes, educates, and empowers positive behaviours associated with mental health. Jaimee’s extensive experience in various settings—schools, hospitals, and community organisations—has provided her with a unique ability to connect with a diverse range of clients. She specialises in helping adolescents, couples, families, and individuals navigate challenges such as anxiety, depression, addiction, eating disorders, trauma, and life transitions. Jaimee utilises a combination of Solution-Focused and Person-Centred therapy, alongside approaches such as CBT for Eating Disorders, Narrative Therapy, Positive Psychology, Trauma Therapy, and Gottman’s Method for couples. Jaimee is a compassionate listener who supports her clients in achieving personal growth and developing coping strategies. She is available for appointments at our Fitzroy North and Richmond clinics. [View Jaimee Krawitz’s Full Profile.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/jaimee-krawitz/) --- ## Our Approach to Sex Addiction Treatment At The Three Seas, we take a holistic approach to treating sex addiction, addressing both the symptoms and the underlying causes. We provide: - **Individual Counselling**: Work one-on-one with a psychologist to explore your challenges and develop personalised strategies for change. - **Couples Therapy**: Strengthen your relationships by addressing trust and communication issues impacted by compulsive behaviours. - **Trauma-Informed Care**: For individuals whose compulsive behaviours stem from past trauma, we provide specialised therapies to promote healing and recovery. --- ## Why Choose The Three Seas Psychology Group? - **Expert Team**: Our psychologists are highly trained and experienced in treating complex issues such as sex addiction. - **Confidential Support**: We prioritise your privacy and ensure a safe space for you to discuss your concerns. - **Convenient Locations**: With clinics in Melbourne CBD, Fitzroy North, and Richmond, we make it easy for you to access support. --- ## Take the First Step Towards Sex Addiction Recovery Acknowledging the need for help is a brave and important step. [Contact our Client Connect Team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Call Us") today to book an appointment with one of our expert psychologists. **Phone**: 03 9809 1000 **Email**: clientconnect@thethreeseas.com.au **Locations**: Melbourne CBD, Fitzroy North, Richmond *All sessions are conducted with the utmost confidentiality and respect for your privacy.* --- ### [Sex Therapy & Intimacy Support in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-therapy-intimacy-support-in-melbourne/) **Published:** July 3, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Sex and intimacy are deeply personal parts of life. When difficulties arise, they can affect confidence, connection, and emotional wellbeing, often in ways that feel hard to talk about. At The Three Seas Psychology, our experienced sex therapists provide a safe, respectful, and non-judgmental space to explore concerns around sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. You may attend on your own or with a [partner](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/ "Couples Counselling in Melbourne"). ## What is sex therapy? Sex therapy is a specialised form of psychotherapy that focuses on the emotional, psychological, and relational aspects of sexual wellbeing. It is not about physical treatment or performance. Instead, therapy explores the thoughts, feelings, experiences, and relationship dynamics that may be influencing your sexual life. Our approach is grounded in evidence-based modalities, including: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) - Schema Therapy We work with individuals and couples across all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship structures. ## Common issues sex therapy can help with Our qualified sex therapists support people experiencing a wide range of concerns, including: - Low or mismatched libido - Erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation - Painful intercourse (dyspareunia) - Difficulties with arousal or orgasm - Sexual trauma and recovery - Intimacy and communication challenges in relationships - Gender identity or sexual orientation exploration **Compulsive sexual behaviour or pornography use** Some people prefer to explore this through a dedicated and highly private support pathway. You can learn more about our specialised approach on our [**Porn Addiction Therapy in Melbourne**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/porn-addiction/ "Porn Addiction Therapy") page. If you’re unsure whether your concern is “appropriate” for therapy, it is. Nothing is too small, too complex, or too uncomfortable to talk about here. ## What to expect in a session Sex therapy sessions are tailored to your needs and move at your pace. Your therapist may: - Help identify underlying beliefs or past experiences affecting sexual confidence - Explore attachment patterns and relationship dynamics - Support communication around needs, boundaries, and desire - Provide education around sexual wellbeing and intimacy - Work collaboratively on strategies to rebuild trust and connection All discussions take place in a professional, confidential therapeutic setting. ## Why choose The Three Seas Psychology? At The Three Seas, we offer: - Highly trained, sex-positive psychologists - Inclusive, non-judgmental care - Support for individuals and couples - In-person and Telehealth appointments - Multiple clinic locations across Melbourne We understand that talking about sex and intimacy can feel vulnerable. Our therapists prioritise your comfort, autonomy, and sense of safety throughout the process. ## Ready to talk? You don’t need to navigate sexual or intimacy concerns alone. Whether you’re seeking support for a specific issue or wanting to better understand yourself and your relationships, we’re here to help. [Book an appointment online](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup), or contact us if you’d like assistance choosing a therapist. --- ### [Porn Addiction Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/porn-addiction/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Porn Addiction Therapy in Melbourne **Private, confidential support — book directly [online](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup)** Porn addiction (also referred to as compulsive pornography use) is more common than many people realise, and help is available in a way that feels private, respectful, and non-judgmental. At The Three Seas Psychology, we support individuals who feel their pornography use has become difficult to control, is causing distress, or is impacting their relationships, mental health, or sense of self. **You can book directly online without speaking to our Client Care team.** All the information you need is on this page, and you are free to choose your psychologist and appointment time privately. ## When pornography use becomes a problem It’s normal to be curious about sex and sexuality. For some people, however, pornography use can shift from something occasional into a pattern that feels compulsive or hard to stop, even when it’s no longer enjoyable. You might be seeking support if you notice: - Repeated attempts to reduce or stop porn use that haven’t worked - Feeling shame, secrecy, or distress around your behaviour - Porn use interfering with relationships, intimacy, or work - Escalation in frequency or content over time - Using porn to cope with stress, loneliness, anxiety, or emotional numbness - Difficulty becoming aroused or present with a real-life partner Many people delay seeking help because they feel embarrassed or unsure how to explain what they’re experiencing. You are not alone, and you don’t need to have everything figured out before starting therapy. ## How therapy can help with porn addiction Porn addiction is rarely about sex alone. It’s often connected to emotional regulation, coping strategies, attachment patterns, and underlying stress or distress. Working with a psychologist can help you: - Understand the emotional and psychological drivers behind your porn use - Reduce shame and self-criticism around sexual behaviour - Develop healthier ways to cope with urges, stress, and difficult emotions - Break repetitive cycles of secrecy and compulsive behaviour - Rebuild trust with yourself or within a relationship - Clarify what healthy sexuality and intimacy look like for you Therapy is not about judgement, moralising, or forcing abstinence. It’s about understanding your patterns and regaining a sense of choice and control. ## Our therapeutic approach Our psychologists use evidence-based approaches tailored to compulsive and addictive behaviours, including: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) - Schema Therapy - Trauma-informed and attachment-based approaches Sessions move at your pace and focus on what feels most relevant to you, whether that’s behaviour change, emotional insight, or relationship repair. ## Psychologists with a focus on porn addiction We have psychologists with experience supporting individuals with: - Porn addiction and compulsive pornography use - Shame-based sexual behaviours - Co-occurring anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem - Relationship and intimacy concerns linked to pornography use You can view available therapists and book directly online. If you’re not sure who to book with, you can visit our [*Meet Our Psychologists*](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Meet Our Psychologists") page, filter by porn addiction, and read short therapist descriptions to help you find the right fit. ## Do I need to speak to someone before booking? No. **You can book directly online without contacting our Client Care team.** Many people prefer this level of privacy, especially when seeking support for porn addiction. If you do want help choosing a psychologist, our team is available, but it’s entirely optional. ## Is porn addiction the same as sex therapy? Not always. Some people prefer focused support specifically for compulsive pornography use, without exploring broader sexual or relationship issues. Others may choose to integrate this work within a wider exploration of intimacy or sexual wellbeing. If you’re interested in broader relationship or intimacy support, you can also explore our [**Sex Therapy & Intimacy Support in Melbourne**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-therapy-intimacy-support-in-melbourne/ "Sex Therapy & Intimacy Support in Melbourne") page. ## Appointments and locations We offer: - In-person appointments across multiple Melbourne locations - Telehealth sessions for privacy and convenience - Flexible appointment times All sessions are confidential and conducted in a professional, supportive environment. ## Ready to take the next step? You don’t have to manage this alone, and you don’t need to explain everything upfront. You can: - Book an appointment online at a time that suits you - Choose a psychologist who feels like the right fit - Begin therapy in a safe, respectful, and confidential space ## Frequently Asked Questions About Porn Addiction Therapy Can I book an appointment without speaking to someone first? Yes. You can book directly online without contacting our Client Care team. All appointment details, therapist information, and availability are available on this page, allowing you to book privately and discreetly. Is porn addiction a real mental health issue? Compulsive pornography use is a recognised behavioural concern that can cause distress, interfere with relationships, and impact emotional wellbeing. Many people seek therapy when they feel their use is no longer aligned with their values or sense of control. Do I need to stop watching porn completely? No. Therapy is not about judgement or enforcing abstinence. Your psychologist will work with you to understand your patterns, reduce distress, and support healthier choices that align with your personal goals. What causes porn addiction? Porn addiction is rarely about sex alone. It often develops as a way of coping with stress, anxiety, loneliness, emotional discomfort, or unresolved experiences. Therapy focuses on understanding these underlying drivers rather than just stopping behaviour. Is porn addiction treated through sex therapy? Sometimes, but not always. Some people prefer focused therapy specifically for compulsive pornography use, while others may explore it within broader sex or intimacy therapy. Both approaches are valid, and you can choose what feels right for you. Are sessions confidential? Yes. All sessions are confidential and conducted in a professional, non-judgmental environment. Your privacy is respected at all times. Do you offer Telehealth appointments? Yes. We offer both in-person and Telehealth sessions, allowing you to access support in the way that feels most comfortable and private for you. [ Book Online Today ](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) --- ### [Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Ongoing Psychology Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-mental-health-check-in-vs-ongoing-psychology-support/) **Published:** January 16, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Looking for mental health support under Medicare? Not all mental health care is the same. What works best depends on your needs, your goals, your age or stage of life, and the level of support required. The Australian Government’s Medicare Mental Health Check-In service offers free, early-intervention support for people experiencing mild or short-term distress. At The Three Seas Psychology, we provide ongoing, face-to-face psychological care for children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families who need deeper, more personalised, and relational support. This page explains the difference, so you can make an informed choice. ## What is the Medicare Mental Health Check-In? The Medicare Mental Health Check-In is a free, early-intervention service designed for people experiencing mild or transient mental health concerns. It typically includes: - An initial assessment via the Medicare Mental Health phone service - Short-term, low-intensity psychological support - Telehealth-based sessions and/or self-guided digital programs - A focus on symptom management and early support The Check-In service is intended to complement existing mental health services, not replace ongoing psychological therapy. ## What does The Three Seas Psychology offer? The Three Seas Psychology provides **ongoing psychological therapy** delivered by **fully qualified, registered psychologists**. Our care is: - Client-centred, relational, and evidence-informed - Tailored to complexity, history, and long-term wellbeing - Delivered primarily **face-to-face** (with telehealth available where appropriate) - Focused on meaningful, sustainable change, not quick fixes We work with **children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families** across Melbourne who are seeking care that goes beyond standardised or short-term support. ### **Therapeutic Approaches we Offer** Our psychologists are trained in a range of evidence-based therapies, allowing treatment to be matched to the person rather than forcing a one-size-fits-all approach. These include: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) - Schema Therapy - Interpersonal Therapy - Trauma-informed approaches - Play-based and developmentally informed therapies for children and adolescents This flexibility allows us to support both **presenting symptoms and underlying patterns**, particularly in complex or long-standing concerns. ### Medicare Mental Health Check-In ### The Three Seas Psychology **Best suited for:** - Mild or short-term distress - Early intervention or first-step support - People comfortable with digital programs or brief telehealth - Those seeking free, short-term assistance **Best suited for:** - Ongoing anxiety, depression, trauma, or burnout - Children and adolescents needing developmental or family-informed support - Relationship and couples counselling - Eating disorders and other complex presentations - People who value depth, continuity, and face-to-face care **Considerations:** - Limited number of sessions - Less continuity with the same practitioner - Primarily digital or phone-based - Not designed for complex, developmental, or long-standing concerns **Benefits:** - Work with the same psychologist over time - No triage phone line or centralised intake - Appointments available immediately - No referral required to book ## Fees, rebates, and payment options Sessions at The Three Seas Psychology are **privately billed**, with several rebate options available depending on your circumstances: - **Medicare rebates** are available with a GP Mental Health Treatment Plan - **Private health insurance** rebates may apply depending on your level of cover - **Third-party funding** may be available, including WorkCover and other approved schemes Our team can help you understand your rebate options and what may apply to you before your first appointment. --- ## Why some people move beyond Check-In For many people, early-intervention support is a helpful first step. However, some discover they need: - A stronger therapeutic relationship - More sessions than short-term programs allow - In-person care rather than digital delivery - Support that goes beyond symptom management When that happens, ongoing psychological therapy can provide the depth and continuity needed for real, lasting change. --- ## Not sure which option is right for you? You don’t need to have all the answers before reaching out. If you’re unsure whether the Medicare Mental Health Check-In is enough for your needs, or if you already know you want face-to-face, psychologist-led care, we’re here to help. **Book an appointment** No referral required Immediate availability Book directly with The Three Seas Psychology and start working with a psychologist who understands **you**, not just your symptoms. --- ### [Couples Counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/) **Published:** December 4, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Couples Counselling in Melbourne ## SERVICES # Couples Counselling in Melbourne ## Relationship and Couples Counselling in Melbourne Explore new and more satisfying ways of interacting with your partner with our relationship & marriage couples counselling in Melbourne. This is a very specialised field and the [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-the-role-of-a-relationship-psychologist/) at The Three Seas Psychology group are fully trained to assist you and your partner, with appropriate relationship and couples counselling. ## What is Marriage, Relationship or Couples Counselling? ![The Three Seas Couples Counselling Session](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Couples-Counselling-Session-248x143-1.webp "The Three Seas Couples Counselling Session - The Three Seas Psychology") Couples counselling is a highly effective way to strengthen and nurture your relationship, helping you build connections that truly enrich your life. Whether you’re facing challenges with communication, co-parenting, intimacy, or other complexities, professional couples counselling provides the tools and support you need to navigate these issues together. Our experienced couples counsellors are here to guide you and your partner on a transformative journey, helping you overcome obstacles and deepen your bond. Prioritise the well-being of your relationship by choosing couples counselling to create a healthier, happier future together. ## The Benefits of Couples Counselling Couples counselling / couples therapy can help you to explore more satisfying ways of interacting with your partner, as well as to manage disagreements before they become toxic. With these new skills, you will learn to communicate effectively and seek to understand why and how you and or your partner become defensive. Therapy will explore and identify both your partner’s and your wants and needs. These skills may also identify and explore why many couples avoid talking about difficult topics such as sex or parenting decisions. Effective counselling supports lovers and families to open and enrich their lives with more joy and happiness. Couples learn how to bring more patience and care into their conversations. Gradually, both may become more assertive about what’s important to each person without criticism or blame. Most people want those around them to feel comfortable and safe, ![Couples Counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/4-248x143-1.webp "Couples Counselling in Melbourne - The Three Seas Psychology") but triggers and memories of a hard time often leave people ‘sitting on the fence’ when it comes to trying to form close relationships. Relationship therapists will help couples learn how to feel safer, more at ease and how to create meaningful connections. Couple counselling can help you to: - clarify your expectations - enhance your communication skills - increase couple intimacy - bring back “the spark” - make it possible for even troubled partnerships to flourish. ## When to seek couple counselling? - Constant, personal criticism replaces constructive feedback. - Contempt is evident through eye-rolls, sarcasm, and ingratitude. - Defensiveness prevails, making it difficult to accept different perspectives or offer apologies. - Emotional or physical distance emerges, leading to a lack of deep conversations and intimacy. - Fantasising about alternatives suggests dissatisfaction with the current relationship. - Negative thoughts consistently overshadow positive aspects, indicating a bias towards negativity. - Presence of adultery, addiction, or abuse requires professional intervention for healing and recovery. ## The Role of a Relationship Counsellor - Facilitating Healthy Communication: A relationship counsellor helps individuals and couples develop effective communication skills, fostering understanding and reducing conflicts in relationships. - Addressing Core Relationship Challenges: From trust issues to conflict resolution, a relationship counsellor works with clients to identify and overcome obstacles that hinder emotional connections. - Explore Further: To dive deeper into the role of a relationship psychologist, [click here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-the-role-of-a-relationship-psychologist/) to read more about how they support individuals and couples in creating fulfilling relationships. ## Two Therapy Options: Individual and Marriage Counselling No matter how difficult the relationship, both you and your partner may have contributed to the challenges you are currently facing. Counselling is effective when both parties work together. This strategy enables you and your relationship counsellor to work together and create a plan to help you become aware of your behaviour, feelings, thoughts and how to further improve the quality of your relationship. But what if your partner is unwilling to go? Or what if you are not comfortable going to counselling together? More than half of couples report that at least one member is reticent. Our skilled counsellors are well-prepared to deal with this common issue. Although joint counselling is the ideal, one person attending still creates positive change, including improving the following skills: - Communicating your wants, needs, and frustrations more effectively - Understanding your partner’s feelings - Coping with unpleasant emotions. - Resisting the urge to criticise or otherwise behave cruelly toward your partner. In many cases, individual consultation is highly effective – the couple may resolve their issue after a few sessions. If one person in the relationship decides to seek help it does not mean they are the one with issues. Relationships are dynamic and complex. When one person changes, the other person may adjust their behaviour accordingly and this has the potential to create satisfying relationships. ## How is Couples Counselling (Couples Therapy) Different from Individual Counselling? Couple counselling has its unique experience. It’s far more than just individual counselling with two people, and not all individual counsellors are skilled couples’ counsellors. So, what’s the difference? And how can you choose an experienced relationship counsellor? Here’s what you need to know. ## No ‘Taking Sides.’ In individual counselling, your therapist only ever gets one side of the story. The psychologist’s job is to act as your partner and ally, which means the therapist is on your side—even when they disagree with your behaviour. Couples therapy is fundamentally different. Your therapist can and should challenge both you and your partner’s behaviour, thoughts, and feelings. A good counsellor will never take sides. No partner is to blame. In a productive couple’s session, you will likely alternate between feeling like the counsellor is on your side and your partner’s. That’s because the counsellor is on neither side and is instead prioritising the relationship. ## The Concept of Unconditional Positive Regard In both couples and individual counselling, the therapeutic practice used is a concept known as unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard means, listening without judgment or shaming you. It does not mean approving of everything you do. You should feel that your therapist accepts and supports you unconditionally. It is also important to know that your therapist may challenge you if they believe your behaviour is damaging you and or your relationship. In relationship counselling, this tendency to challenge clients is often more apparent, since your therapist aims to gain more information about your behaviour. If you feel judged or shamed, tell your therapist, however, expect that gentle guidance and correction are healthy and fundamental components of effective couples counselling. ## Mediation Without Judgement A good counsellor directs therapy in such a way that it helps you make progress and promotes meaningful discussions. Therapists do not endlessly talk about feelings or allow you to fight without intervening. In this regard, the most experienced counsellors are a lot like mediators, but with one crucial caveat: they don’t judge. A good couples counsellor, will not tell you that you are “wrong” or “evil,” but will instead encourage you to see how your problematic behaviour affects your relationship, your partner, and your overall well-being. ## The Primacy of Homework Couples counselling is typically only an hour or two a week. That alone is not enough to improve your relationship. To see real change, you may need to work on the skills that you learn in therapy and be aware that the more you practice the more opportunity your bad habits will dissipate. Many couples counsellors give homework to help you practice and develop new skills. Even if your counsellor doesn’t give you homework, try making your own. Consider prioritising a particular relationship goal or dedicating yourself to noticing your partner’s needs. You may be surprised by how quickly doing so improves your relationship. It is important to note this precaution: punishing your partner for the things they say in counselling can harm your relationship. If you cannot talk about problems without getting angry about what happens in counselling, it is important to bring this issue up with your therapist. The Three Seas Group offers comprehensive counselling for couples at every stage of their relationship, from premarital counselling to counselling couples who have been together for decades. Let us show you a path to deep satisfaction in your relationships. ## Couples’ Counsellors and Couples Therapists We have over 40 psychologists across our four locations in Melbourne that cover four broad geographical suburbs: Melbourne (CBD), Inner Eastern (Richmond), Northside (Fitzroy North) and Southeastern (Knox). There are couples counsellors and couples therapists at each of our Melbourne locations. Counselling requires an experienced and professional psychologist. Our practices are comfortable, discrete, and easy to find. Our Client Connect Team is available to help guide you and find an appropriate therapist. You and your partner don’t need to do it alone. [Book an appointment.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) ## [Our Couples Counselling Psychologists ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/?speciality=279&location=&claim_type=&client_age_group=) [![DR QUSAI HUSSAIN – CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/3-Seas-Original-Image_FINAL-2.webp "3 Seas Original Image_FINAL 2 - The Three Seas Psychology")](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/dr-qusai-hussain-cbd/)### [DR QUSAI HUSSAIN – CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/dr-qusai-hussain-cbd/) Dr Hussain has extensive experience working with distressed couples, including high-conflict relationships, communication breakdowns, attachment-related difficulties, and emotionally disengaged partnerships. His therapeutic approach is client-centred and humanistic, grounded in empathy, collaboration, and evidence-informed practice. Clients can expect a respectful, non-judgemental space where both partners feel heard, relational patterns are thoughtfully explored, and practical pathways towards reconnection, greater clarity, or conscious separation are developed together. [![Misha](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/mish-e1692929553515.webp "mish - The Three Seas Psychology")](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/michelle-misha-karipidis/)### [MICHELLE (MISHA) KARIPIDIS – CBD, Fitzroy North & Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/michelle-misha-karipidis/) Misha works with couples experiencing communication difficulties, trust issues, and recurring relational patterns. She draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy, schema therapy, and psychodynamic approaches to help partners better understand themselves and each other. Sessions are practical, contained, and focused on insight, accountability, and meaningful change. [![Five Things Counselling Can Offer You](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Johanna.webp "Johanna - The Three Seas Psychology")](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/johanna-hart/)### [JOHANNA HART – Fitzroy North & Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/johanna-hart/) [![PAUL MALONE - Telehealth Only](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/paul-scaled.webp "PAUL MALONE - Telehealth Only - The Three Seas Psychology")](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/paul-malone/)### [PAUL MALONE – Telehealth Only](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/paul-malone/) As a couples counsellor for the last 10 years, I know that relationships can become unfulfilling when unhelpful communication or behaviour patterns develop over time, especially during conflict. I help couples identify and change these patterns which otherwise weaken relationships and stop core needs from being recognised and respected. Clients who work with me are given the tools, understanding and support to achieve this outcome, in an environment that is non-judgmental and positive [![Psychologist Robert Van De Berg](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Robert-scaled.webp "Robert Van de Berg - The Three Seas Psychology")](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/robert-van-de-berg/)### [ROBERT VAN DE BERG – Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/robert-van-de-berg/) --- ### [Mental Health Care Plan Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-care-plan-melbourne/) **Published:** January 9, 2026 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Medicare-Rebated Psychology Support at The Three Seas Psychology If you’re searching for psychology sessions in Melbourne, **you do not need a referral or a Mental Health Care Plan to see a psychologist**. Many clients choose to access therapy privately, while others use a Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP) to help reduce the cost of sessions through Medicare rebates. At The Three Seas Psychology, we support adults, couples, and families across Melbourne to access evidence-based psychological care, with or without a Mental Health Care Plan**,** delivered by experienced, registered psychologists. ### **Seeing a Psychologist Without a Referral** You can book an appointment with a psychologist **without a referral**. A referral or Mental Health Care Plan is only required if you would like to claim Medicare rebates. Some people prefer private therapy because it: - avoids the need to see a GP first - offers more flexibility - supports continuity of care without administrative steps Both options are valid, and our team can help you decide what’s right for you. ## What Is a Mental Health Care Plan? A **Mental Health Care Plan** is one pathway to accessing psychology support. It is a structured treatment plan created by a GP (or psychiatrist) for people experiencing mental health concerns. It enables eligible individuals to access Medicare-rebated psychology sessions under the Australian Government’s *Better Access* initiative. You can learn more about Mental Health Care Plans directly via Services Australia: 👉 [https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/mental-health-care-plan](https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/eligibility-for-mental-health-treatment-plan?context=20) A Mental Health Care Plan may be appropriate if you are experiencing: - Anxiety, worry, or panic symptoms - Depression or low mood - Stress, burnout, or emotional overwhelm - Trauma or post-traumatic stress - Relationship or family difficulties - Grief and loss - Disordered eating or body image concerns - Difficulty regulating emotions You do **not** need to be “in crisis” to be eligible. ## How Many Psychology Sessions Can I Get With a Mental Health Care Plan? With a valid Mental Health Care Plan, eligible clients can access: - Up to 10 individual psychology sessions per calendar year, rebated by Medicare - An initial referral for up to 6 sessions - A GP review after the initial sessions - A further referral after review (so you can access more sessions, up to the annual Medicare limit) Mental Health Care Plan session limits reset each calendar year. If you have unused sessions remaining on an existing referral, these can still be used in the new year (so they don’t ‘disappear’). However, unused sessions don’t add to your annual Medicare session limit, you can still only access up to the yearly maximum. *Example: If you’re referred for 6 sessions in November and use 2, you can use the remaining 4 in the next year, but you’ll still only be able to claim up to the annual Medicare limit in that new year.* ## Medicare Rebates for Psychology Sessions Medicare provides a partial rebate for eligible psychology sessions under a Mental Health Care Plan. Key points to know: - Rebate amounts vary depending on whether you see a registered psychologist or a clinical psychologist - Medicare rebates are processed after your appointment You can view current rebate information via Medicare: 👉 [https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/medicare-rebates-for-mental-health-services](https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/requirements-mental-health-treatment-plan?context=20#accordion3) If you have questions about rebates, our team is happy to help. ## How Do I Get a Mental Health Care Plan in Melbourne? Getting a Mental Health Care Plan is a straightforward process: 1. Book a longer appointment with your GP 2. Discuss your mental health concerns openly 3. Your GP will assess whether a Mental Health Care Plan is appropriate 4. If eligible, your GP will prepare the plan and provide a referral to a psychologist 5. You can then book psychology sessions at The Three Seas Psychology We accept referrals from GPs across Melbourne and can assist if you’re unsure what to ask for. ## Do I Need a Referral to See a Psychologist? No, a referral is not required to see a psychologist. - You only need a referral if you want to claim Medicare rebates under a Mental Health Care Plan. - You can still see a psychologist **without a Mental Health Care Plan**, but Medicare rebates will not apply - You are welcome to book directly with us whether: - you’re accessing therapy privately, or - you’re using a Mental Health Care Plan If you already have a Mental Health Care Plan, you can contact us to book straight away. If not, our team can talk you through your options. ## Why Choose The Three Seas Psychology? At The Three Seas Psychology, we provide: - Experienced psychologists delivering evidence-based therapy - Support for a wide range of mental health concerns - Warm, professional, and non-judgemental care - Transparent fees and Medicare rebate guidance - In-person Melbourne appointments and telehealth options Our psychologists are registered with AHPRA and adhere to professional standards set by the Australian Psychological Society (APS): - APS: [https://psychology.org.au](https://psychology.org.au/) - AHPRA: [https://www.ahpra.gov.au](https://www.ahpra.gov.au/) We focus on sustainable mental health support, not quick fixes. ## Mental Health Care Plan FAQs ### Does a Mental Health Care Plan mean sessions are free? - No. Medicare provides a rebate, not full coverage. Most clients pay a gap fee. ### Can I use my Mental Health Care Plan at any psychology clinic? - Yes. You are free to choose your psychologist. ### Can my GP extend my sessions? - Your GP can review your progress and provide additional referrals up to the annual Medicare limit. ### What if my Mental Health Care Plan has expired? - MHCPs are indefinite unless otherwise stated, and do not have an expiry of 12 months. ## Start Your Mental Health Care Plan Journey If you’re looking for a psychologist in Melbourne, we’re here to help. Whether you’re beginning therapy for the first time or returning to ongoing care, our team can guide you through the process with clarity and compassion. [**Contact The Three Seas Psychology**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us") to learn more or to book an appointment. --- ### [Eating Disorder Treatment Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anorexia/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Eating Disorder Treatment Melbourne ### Compassionate, evidence-based support for anorexia, bulimia, and disordered eating Eating disorders are serious but treatable mental-health conditions that affect how a person thinks about food, body image, and self-worth. At **The Three Seas Psychology**, we provide a safe, understanding environment where recovery can begin. Our experienced clinicians offer specialised therapy for **Anorexia Nervosa**, **Bulimia Nervosa**, and other forms of disordered eating. We combine evidence-based psychological treatment with warmth, respect, and an individualised approach to help clients rebuild a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. ## **Understanding Eating Disorders** Eating disorders are not about food alone, they often develop as complex responses to emotional distress, perfectionism, low self-esteem, or trauma. They can affect anyone, regardless of gender, age, or background. Without professional support, eating disorders can have severe physical and emotional consequences. Early intervention and tailored therapy greatly improve recovery outcomes. ## **Our Clinicians** ### **Jaimee Krawitz – Registered Counsellor & ANZAED-Accredited Eating Disorder Clinician** Jaimee has extensive experience working with individuals, couples, families, adolescents, and children across community, school, and hospital settings. She combines **Solution-Focused** and **Person-Centred** approaches with **CBT**, **Narrative Therapy**, **Positive Psychology**, **Trauma Therapy**, and **Mindfulness** to support clients in overcoming personal obstacles and achieving lasting wellbeing. [View Jaimee’s full profile.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychologist/jaimee-krawitz/ "JAIMEE KRAWITZ – Fitzroy North & Richmond") ### **Lesley Osenieks – Registered Psychologist** Lesley brings broad experience in **Child and Adolescent Mental Health**, with a special interest in eating disorders, disordered eating, and higher-weight concerns. She integrates **Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)**, **Person-Centred Therapy**, and **Solution-Focused** approaches to create a culturally sensitive, compassionate, and practical treatment plan for each client. [View Lesley’s full profile](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychologist/lesley-osenieks-cbd/ "LESLEY OSENIEKS – CBD") Both clinicians provide support **in person at our Melbourne CBD clinic** and **via Telehealth** across Australia. ## **Anorexia Nervosa** Anorexia Nervosa is a life-threatening eating disorder characterised by: - Intense fear of gaining weight - Extreme food restriction or avoidance - Distorted body image - Significant weight loss and malnutrition Although most common in adolescence, anorexia can develop at any age. It often co-occurs with anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive traits. Treatment focuses on restoring physical health, challenging unhelpful thought patterns, and rebuilding self-esteem and body trust. ## **Bulimia Nervosa** Bulimia Nervosa involves cycles of **binge eating** followed by **compensatory behaviours** such as self-induced vomiting, excessive exercise, or misuse of laxatives. Those affected often appear outwardly healthy, which can delay diagnosis and support. Therapy helps clients: - Understand the emotional triggers behind binge-purge cycles - Break patterns of secrecy, shame, and guilt - Develop sustainable coping and self-regulation strategies ## **Causes and Contributing Factors** Eating disorders typically arise from a mix of biological, psychological, and social influences. Contributing factors may include: - Genetic or familial predisposition - Low self-esteem or perfectionism - Exposure to trauma or bullying - Societal and cultural pressures around appearance - Co-existing mental-health conditions such as anxiety or depression Understanding these factors allows our clinicians to tailor therapy to each person’s experience and goals. ## **How We Help** Treatment is always collaborative and centred on the client’s needs. Depending on the presentation, therapy may involve: - **Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT-E)** – evidence-based therapy specifically for eating disorders - **Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)** – building flexibility and self-compassion - **Schema Therapy** – addressing long-standing belief patterns and emotional triggers - **Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation** – improving awareness and self-soothing skills - **Family or carer guidance** – supporting loved ones in understanding and maintaining recovery - Accessing Medicare Support (**Eating Disorder Treatment Plans** – EDTPs) We also work alongside GPs, dietitians, and medical specialists to ensure integrated care when needed. ## **Why Choose The Three Seas Psychology** ✔️ Clinicians with recognised expertise in eating disorders ✔️ Personalised, evidence-based treatment plans ✔️ A warm, non-judgemental therapeutic environment ✔️ Flexible in-person and Telehealth appointments ✔️ Collaborative care with other health professionals Our goal is not just symptom management but lasting recovery and improved quality of life. #### **Eating Disorder Treatment Plans (EDTPs)** Clients who have been diagnosed with an eating disorder may be eligible to receive an Eating Disorder Treatment Plan (EDTP). An EDTP can be used to receive a rebate of $98.95 (general psychologist) or $145.25 (clinical psychologist), for up to 40 sessions. An initial EDTP must be issued to the client by a GP, psychiatrist or paediatrician, and will be for a maximum of 10 sessions. Clients are required to receive a review of their EDTP to after each 10 session block to access further sessions. ## **Book an Appointment** Recovery from an eating disorder is possible with the right support. If you or a loved one is struggling with anorexia, bulimia, or another eating disorder, reach out to our caring team today. We offer appointments **in Melbourne CBD, Richmond, Fitzroy North, and Wantirna South**, as well as **Telehealth** sessions for clients across Australia. [**Book an appointment**](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) or [**learn more about our psychologists**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Meet Our Psychologists"). --- ### [Medicare and Bulk Billing](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-and-bulk-billing/) **Published:** February 17, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## **Medicare and Bulk Billing** **Medicare Rebates:** Under the Medicare Health Benefit Scheme, psychology services are subsidised (rebated) by the Australian Government. Depending on your circumstances, [Medicare](https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/mental-health-care-and-medicare?context=60092) will cover part of your psychology fees for no more than 10 sessions per calendar year (January – December). Medicare will only offer a rebate if you hold a Mental Health Care Plan \[MHCP\], put in place by a GP, Pediatrician or [Psychiatrist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychiatrists/). Without this, you will need to pay the full fee. **Bulk Billing :** We are currently **not** offering limited bulk billing. Please be in touch with the Client Connect Team for further information. We also offer low-cost counselling; please visit the low-cost [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/low-cost-counselling-melbourne/) page for more information. If you are not eligible for a Medicare rebate, you may be able to use your private health insurance to reduce the cost. The rebate available through Private Health will be dependent on your extras cover. --- ### [Autism (ASD) Assessments Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-assessments-melbourne/) **Published:** December 4, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Autism (ASD) Assessments Melbourne ## SERVICES # Autism (ASD) Assessments Melbourne ## Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Assessment Melbourne, with Dr Narisa Vormwald At The Three Seas Psychology, we offer comprehensive Autism Spectrum Disorder ASD assessments in Melbourne, with our experienced psychologist, [Narisa Vormwald](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/narisa-vormwald/ "DR. NARISA VORMWALD – Richmond & Telehealth"). Our assessment process is designed to provide you with a thorough understanding of your needs, delivered with care and professionalism. **Please note:** our ASD assessments are designed for **adults aged 18 years and over**. ## What is Autism? [**Autism**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-asd-support-and-understanding/ "Autism (ASD) Support and Understanding"), or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a developmental condition that affects communication, behaviour, and social interactions. People with ASD may experience challenges in understanding social cues, forming relationships, or engaging in certain behaviours. These characteristics exist on a spectrum, meaning each individual with ASD may have different strengths and challenges. An **ASD assessment** is a thorough evaluation conducted by a trained psychologist to determine whether an individual meets the criteria for a diagnosis of autism. The assessment process provides valuable insights into a person’s unique profile, which can help inform support strategies, access to services, and educational or workplace accommodations. Receiving an accurate ASD diagnosis can be empowering, as it often brings clarity to long-standing questions and enables individuals to better understand themselves or their loved ones, leading to more effective support and intervention plans. ## What is the Value of an ASD Assessment? The fee for your ASD assessment is **$2000**, which covers both the assessment session and the detailed report. An additional **results session** will be held via Telehealth: - 30-minute results session (before 4pm): $150 - 30-minute results session (after 4pm): $162.50 Please note: - Payment is accepted via cash or credit/debit card (we do not accept AMEX). - There is no Medicare rebate available for this service, but you may be eligible for a rebate through private health insurance. Please contact your provider for more information. ### Assessment Structure The ASD assessment lasts approximately **4 hours**, including a **1-hour lunch break**. The assessment includes: - A thorough evaluation conducted by Narisa Vormwald. - A detailed report summarizing the findings, which will be provided within approximately 2 weeks after the session, depending on the prompt return of any additional information. - A 30-minute results session held via Telehealth to discuss the findings of the assessment. We aim to gather additional insights from your loved ones as part of the process, but this will only be done with your consent. Narisa will discuss this option with you during your assessment. ### Important Information Regarding NDIS and Ongoing Management While Narisa does not participate in the NDIS application process, the **assessment report** can be used as supporting documentation for NDIS applications. If the assessment confirms a diagnosis of ASD, the report and results session are sufficient to confirm the diagnosis. Please note that Narisa Vormwald does not provide ongoing management for ASD. However, The Three Seas Psychology has a team of psychologists who can offer ongoing support and therapy for ASD management. #### Location and Parking Information Your assessment will take place at our Richmond clinic: - Address: 637-639 Bridge Road, Richmond - Parking: Ample on-street parking is available on both sides of Bridge Road. Metered parking is enforced between 8:30 am and 4:30 pm on our side, with a clearway in effect from 4:30 pm to 6:30 pm, Monday through Friday. Unmetered, 1-hour parking is available on the opposite side of the street. Unrestricted parking is available in some surrounding side streets. [Book your assessment now.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us") ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Autism (ASD) Support and Understanding](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-asd-support-and-understanding/) **Published:** October 28, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Compassionate, evidence-based care for individuals and families Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference that shapes how people experience, communicate, and connect with the world. At **The Three Seas Psychology**, we celebrate neurodiversity and provide respectful, evidence-based support that helps people better understand themselves and live more fulfilling lives. Our psychologists work from a neuroaffirming framework that values individuality, strengths, and self-understanding. While our clinic primarily supports **adults**, the information on this page may also assist parents, carers, and families seeking to understand autism more broadly. ## **What Is Autism?** Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a developmental condition that affects communication, sensory processing, and social understanding. It exists on a spectrum — meaning each person experiences autism differently. Some individuals may find social interaction or sensory input overwhelming, while others excel in focused interests or creative problem-solving. Autism is not a disorder to be “fixed” but a difference to be understood and supported with empathy. ## **Common Traits and Experiences of Autism** Autism can influence many aspects of daily life, including: - Differences in verbal or non-verbal communication - Strong interests or attention to detail - Sensory sensitivities (to sound, light, touch, or movement) - Preference for structure, predictability, and routine - Challenges with social cues or change in routine - Exceptional memory, creativity, or analytical thinking These traits can bring both strengths and challenges, which is why understanding and support are key to wellbeing. ## **Recognising Autism in Everyday Life** Autism can present differently across individuals and life stages. Some people are diagnosed early in childhood, while others discover their neurodivergence later in life. Many adults recognise signs such as: - Feeling misunderstood or socially exhausted - Finding unstructured situations overwhelming - Needing time alone to recharge after social interactions - Difficulty multitasking or managing transitions - Sensory overload in noisy or unpredictable environments Whether diagnosed or self-identified, understanding your neurotype can be empowering — helping you make sense of past experiences and access the right support. ## **When to Seek Professional Support** If communication, sensory sensitivities, or social challenges are impacting your wellbeing, relationships, or work, connecting with a psychologist can help. Support may include therapy, self-understanding, or exploring whether a formal diagnosis would be useful. > 💡 **Considering an assessment?** > Learn more about our [Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Assessments for Adults](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-assessments-melbourne/ "Autism (ASD) Assessments Melbourne") with Dr Narisa Vormwald. ## **How We Help** At The Three Seas Psychology, our team provides: - **Autism assessments for adults** – to clarify diagnosis and guide support or workplace accommodations - **Therapy and counselling** – to address anxiety, burnout, or adjustment challenges - **Psychoeducation and skill-building** – to improve self-advocacy, communication, and daily coping - **Parent and carer guidance** – to strengthen understanding and support within families - **Telehealth psychology** – for accessible care anywhere in Australia All support is individualised, collaborative, and guided by current evidence. ## **Our Approach** We work from a **neuroaffirming** and **strength-based** perspective. This means we aim to understand each person’s goals, environment, and sensory profile rather than focusing on “deficits.” Our psychologists use evidence-based therapies such as: - **Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)** adapted for autism - **Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)** - **Schema Therapy** for long-standing self-belief patterns - **Mindfulness and emotion-regulation strategies** We also help clients explore identity, manage masking or burnout, and build confidence in expressing needs authentically. --- ### [Anxiety Treatment & Therapy in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Anxiety Treatment & Therapy in Melbourne ## CONDITIONS WE TREAT # Anxiety Treatment & Therapy in Melbourne ![Anxiety Symptoms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Anxiety-symptoms.webp "Anxiety Symptoms - The Three Seas Psychology") At The Three Seas Psychology in **Melbourne**, our experienced **anxiety psychologists** provide compassionate, evidence-based treatment to help you manage anxiety, stress, and panic. We offer sessions in-person across our Melbourne clinics and via telehealth Australia-wide. ## What Is Anxiety and How Do Psychologists Treat It? Anxiety is a natural response to stress, but for many people, it can become persistent, excessive, and interfere with daily life. Whether it’s generalised anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, or health-related anxiety, the impact can be significant—affecting your sleep, relationships, and ability to focus. If you’re asking, **“What can I do to help with my anxiety?”**, our team is here to provide clear answers and tailored support. ## Common Symptoms of an Anxiety Disorder Anxiety disorders have a range of symptoms, all of which may vary in severity. These include: - Feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness - Problems sleeping - Shortness of breath - Increased heart rate or heart palpitations - An inability to be still and calm - Cold or sweaty hands or feet - Muscle tension - Vomiting or nausea - Dry mouth and inability to talk - Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet - Difficulty concentrating ## When to Seek Support from a Psychologist If these symptoms are interfering with your daily life, work, relationships, or wellbeing, it may be time to speak with a psychologist. Our team specialises in helping people understand and reduce their anxiety through tailored psychological care. [ Ready to take the next step? Book an appointment with one of our Melbourne anxiety psychologists to start feeling more in control. ](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) ## How Our Psychologists Help You Manage Anxiety At The Three Seas, we don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all approach. Our psychologists draw from a range of evidence-based therapies to support you: - **Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)** – Identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts contributing to anxiety - **Schema Therapy** – Explore deeper emotional patterns and learn new coping strategies - **Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques** – Calm the body and mind using breathing and grounding practices - **Telehealth Appointments** – Access support from home, whether you’re in Melbourne or regional Australia Our goal is to empower you with practical tools while addressing the emotional root causes of anxiety. ## Why Choose The Three Seas Psychology? - 🧠 **Experienced Psychologists** – We specialise in anxiety, trauma, and emotional health - 📍 **Four Melbourne Locations** – Including Fitzroy North, CBD, Richmond, and Wantirna South - 💬 **Online or In-Person Sessions** – Flexible options to suit your lifestyle - 🌿 **Safe, Non-Judgemental Care** – A confidential, supportive space where you can feel understood We’re here to help you reduce anxiety—not just manage it. ## Anxiety Treatment Near You – Let’s Take the First Step If you’ve been searching for **“anxiety treatment near me”**, or wondering whether you need support, our team is here for you. With personalised treatment plans and a focus on long-term results, we’ll help you move from fear to confidence—one step at a time. 📞 **Call us on 03 9809 1000** or **[book online](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup)** to start your journey. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) ## Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) ## Do I need a referral to see a psychologist for anxiety? No referral is needed. However, you may be eligible for a Medicare rebate with a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP. ## How many sessions will I need? It depends on your goals and symptom severity. Many clients report improvements within 6 to 12 sessions. ## Can I access therapy online? Yes—our secure telehealth sessions are available to clients across Australia. ## Related Services [ Depression Counselling ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne-2-2/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/) [ Trauma Therapy ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ptsd-melbourne/) [ Telehealth Psychology ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-psychology/) [ Mindfulness Practices ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/daily-mindfulness-practices-you-can-use-everyday/) --- ### [Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/adhd-melbourne/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) ## CONDITIONS WE TREAT ## Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Are you searching for ADHD treatment in Melbourne or counselling services in Melbourne? At The Three Seas Psychology, we provide comprehensive ADHD assessments and treatment across our 4 Melbourne locations, tailored to support individuals and families navigating this complex condition. Whether you’re seeking ADHD treatment for yourself, your child, or counselling services, our team is here to help. We offer adult (18+) ADHD assessments with [Arti Raghuvanshi](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/arti-raghuvanshi/) at our Richmond location for a total cost of $1,300. ## What is ADHD/ADD? Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common childhood neurodevelopmental conditions, impacting millions of children worldwide. It’s characterised by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, which can significantly affect daily functioning. ADHD is not just a childhood condition—many adults also live with its challenges. Though the exact cause of ADHD remains unclear, research indicates a combination of genetic, neurological, and environmental factors. Family history, prenatal exposure to substances like alcohol, and environmental toxins are some potential contributors. ADHD is not caused by poor parenting, sugar consumption, or too much screen time—common myths often associated with the condition. ### Are There Different Types? Officially speaking, there are only two types of ADHD: attention deficit disorder, which primarily features attention difficulties, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which includes ADD plus hyperactive behaviour. Nevertheless, not all people with ADHD act the same. Often, ADHD manifests in the form of only one or two symptoms. For this reason, some experts focus on ADHD sub-types, which can yield behaviours such as: - Aggression and conduct disorder. - Extremely fidgety and hyperactive behaviour. - [Obsessive-compulsive behaviour, ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/)such as frequent hand-washing. - Depression, irritability, and low self-esteem. - Learning difficulties, especially when forced to sit behind a desk or participate in quiet work. - Anger. - Difficulties with memory. - Trouble with social relationships. Ultimately, these symptoms are all part of one larger umbrella diagnosis, but every person with ADHD is different. While one person might become depressed in response to the challenges of ADHD, another might cope with the stress by becoming aggressive. It’s important not to stereotype ADD, and to bear in mind that a range of symptoms can be related to ADHD. ## What are the Symptoms? The hallmark symptoms of ADHD are difficulties with paying attention (ADD) coupled with hyperactive behaviour (ADHD). However, these symptoms can manifest in many ways, including: - Falling behind at school in spite of high intelligence. - Difficulty with planning and organisation. - Difficulty remembering responsibilities, important dates, and deadlines. - Trouble listening or making eye contact. - Forgetting the topic of conversation. - Rapidly jumping from one conversational topic to the next. - Depression and low self-esteem. - Sleeping too much or too little. - Unexplained aggression or bullying of other children. - Easily frustrated. - Fidgety, nervous habits such as skin-picking, biting nails, or endlessly tapping the desk. - Difficulty getting along with others. - Trouble sitting still. - Learns better through experiences rather than lectures or reading. - Difficulties with impulse control. - Regressive behaviour; children with ADHD often behave like much younger children. For instance, a seven-year-old might throw tantrums similar to those thrown by a two or three-year-old when he is frustrated or overwhelmed. - Difficulty with change. - Chronic boredom. - A need for constant stimulation. ## How is ADHD Diagnosed? ADHD diagnosis involves a thorough assessment of an individual’s behaviour in multiple settings, such as home, school, or work. At The Three Seas, we use evidence-based diagnostic tools, such as interviews, standardised questionnaires, and observational methods, to evaluate symptoms and their impact on daily life. Our assessments consider a wide range of factors, including developmental history, family background, and current challenges. By understanding the unique experiences of each individual, we can provide an accurate diagnosis and a tailored treatment plan. ### Treatment Options ADHD cannot be cured, but it can be effectively managed with a combination of interventions, including: - **Therapy:** Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and other forms of therapy can help individuals develop coping strategies, improve emotional regulation, and build self-esteem. - **Parent Training:** Equipping parents with strategies to support their child’s unique needs is a vital component of ADHD management. - **Medication:** Stimulant medications, such as methylphenidate, are commonly used to improve focus and impulse control. Other medications, like antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs, may be recommended for co-occurring conditions. - **Lifestyle Adjustments:** Encouraging a structured routine, a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and reduced screen time can greatly enhance symptom management. At The Three Seas Psychology, we work collaboratively with families, educators, and healthcare providers to create an integrative ADHD treatment plan that promotes long-term success. ## How Therapy Can Help with ADHD Therapy can help both you and your child by helping you develop a family system that supports your child’s ADD/ADHD. For adults with ADHD, therapy helps you cultivate exceptional coping skills. Therapy also explains ADHD to children in an age-appropriate way, without stigmatising the child. Some of the other ways therapy can benefit you include: - Processing through the feelings associated with ADHD. - Helping to prevent ADHD-related depression. - Helping your family understand how ADHD affects you or your child. - Implementing specific coping skills that work for your life, so you can better manage your ADHD. ### How we can Help with You or Your Loved One? At The Three Seas Psychology, our experienced psychologists provide compassionate and evidence-based support for individuals with ADHD and their families. Whether you’re seeking an assessment, therapy, or guidance on managing symptoms, our team is here to empower you with the tools and strategies needed to thrive. **Contact us today** to learn more about our ADHD assessments and treatment options. Together, we can create a brighter future for you or your loved one. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Cognitive Assessments](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/) **Published:** December 4, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Cognitive Assessments ## SERVICES # Cognitive Assessments ## Cognitive Assessments in Melbourne **WISC-V and WPPSI-IV** The Three Seas Psychology offers comprehensive cognitive assessments for children and adolescents. Understanding the unique strengths and limitations of your child is an important part of supporting their development. The Three Seas offers comprehensive cognitive assessments that provide clear and informative reports. The WISC-V1 and the WPPSI-IV2 are the gold-standard of intelligence testing for children and adolescents. The WISC-V and WPPSI-IV assess a broad range of domains including Verbal Comprehension, Visual Spatial Skills, Fluid Reasoning, Working Memory and Processing Speed. The tests are designed to enable parents to proactively address their child’s needs and reduce the impact of future challenges. In addition to this, the report will effectively communicate your child’s needs to medical professionals and educators. **Who are the tests suitable for?** The WISC and WPPSI can be useful for all children including those who may have intellectual deficits, those in the mainstream and those with giftedness. **What ages can be assessed?** For children aged 6 to 16 and 11 months the WISC (Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children – fifth edition) is used and for children aged 2 years and 6 months to 7 years and 7 months the WPPSI (Wechsler Preschool & Primary Scale of Intelligence – fourth edition) is used. **What can the results be used for?** The test is widely recognized and can be used to accompany NDIS applications and school funding. The report will also be a valuable tool to help psychologists, educators and medical professionals in assisting your child properly. **How is the test administered?** The test is specifically designed for children and will be performed by one of our experienced Psychologists. It is administered in an age appropriate, warm and non-invasive way. **What are the costs?** The total fee for the assessment is as follows: $850 for a [provisional psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/sarah-king-richmond-fitzroy-north/) $1,300 for a general psychologist $1,500 with a clinical psychologist This includes the fee for: - 2 x history-taking session (1 with parents only, 1 with parents and child) - 1 x two-hour assessment session - Report - 1 x session going over the report details. *Only the 1st session is claimable via Medicare, if booked with a general or clinical psychologist.* **What is the process?** The process will take place over three sessions. In the first session the Psychologist will take a comprehensive history of the child. The actual assessment will be conducted in the second session, which will be two hours long. In the third session the results of the report will be discussed, and feedback will be given by the Psychologist. **When can I book?** We are currently taking new bookings. Please call reception on 9809 1000 to find the next available appointments. **For GPs**: If you are writing a referral to our clinic, please contact our reception on 9809 1000 for Psychologists currently performing these tests. ## ASD (Autism) Assessments now [available for adults 18+ years. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-assessments-melbourne/) ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Terms and Conditions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/terms-and-condition/) **Published:** October 2, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** [ Click here to see our Terms and Conditions ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Terms-Conditions-Website.pdf) [ Click here to see the APS Charter – what to expect when seeing a psychologist?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/aps-charter/) #### **Disclaimer** This agreement is governed by the laws of Victoria, Australia and by using this site you consent to those laws whether or not you are visiting the site from within Victoria. You may use this website for lawful purposes only. We assume no responsibility for any technical error, virus, bug or damage to any person’s computer related to the use of this website. Whilst we take care to ensure the accuracy of all our website content we assume no legal liability for this content and it does not represent advice, nor do we claim it to be error free. By using this website you specifically acknowledge and agree that your use of this website is at your own risk. Changes are periodically made to the information on and available via the website. The content on and available through this website is provided for information on the Three Seas Psychology Group business and is for marketing purposes only and does not replace the need for specific advice relevant to your particular circumstances. You acknowledge and agree that no information or advice provided on or available through this website constitutes any sort of advice. **Linking to this website** You may link to this website provided you do so in a way that is fair and legal and does not damage the Three Seas Psychology Group’s reputation or take advantage of it. No such link can in any way suggest any form of association, approval or endorsement. We reserve the right to withdraw linking permission without notice. **Intellectual property** The Three Seas Psychology Group’s name (and its abbreviated form The Three Seas), logo, corporate symbols and trademarks are the sole property of The Three Seas Psychology Group, and no permission is given in respect of their use. This website and its contents are protected by applicable copyright laws and other intellectual property rights. At all times The Three Seas Psychology Group is the owner of the copyright and all other intellectual property rights in this website and its contents. No part of this website may be reproduced, modified, copied or used for any commercial purpose without the prior written permission of The Three Seas Psychology Group. --- ### [Confidentiality and Disclosure of Personal Information](https://thethreeseas.com.au/confidentiality-and-disclosure-of-personal-information/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Confidentiality and Disclosure of Personal Information ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Confidentiality and Disclosure of Personal Information **Psychological service** As part of providing a psychological service to you, The Three Seas Group needs to collect and record personal information from you that is relevant to your situation, such as your name, contact information, medical history and other relevant information as part of providing psychological services to you. This collection of personal information will be a necessary part of the psychological assessment and treatment that is conducted. **Purpose of collecting and holding information** Your personal information is gathered as part of your assessment and treatment is kept securely and, in the interests of your privacy, used only by your psychologist and the authorised personnel of the practice (as necessary). Your personal information is retained in order to document what happens during sessions, and enables the psychologist to provide a relevant and informed psychological service to you. A more detailed description is provided in the practice’s “Privacy policy for management of personal information”, which can be obtained by contacting the Client Connect Team. The Privacy Policy contains information about how to access and seek correction of your personal information, and how to lodge a complaint about our management of your personal information. **Consequence of not providing personal information** If you do not wish for your personal information to be collected in a way anticipated by this Confidential Client Registration and Consent Form or the Privacy Policy, The Three Seas Group may not be in a position to provide the psychological service to you. **Access to client information** At any stage you are entitled to access your personal information kept on file, subject to exceptions in the relevant legislation. The psychologist may discuss with you different possible forms of access. **Disclosure of personal information** All personal information gathered by the psychologist during the provision of the psychological service will remain confidential except when: 1. it is subpoenaed by a court; or 2. failure to disclose the information would in the reasonable belief of the The Three Seas Group or your psychologist, place you or another person at serious risk to life, health or safety; or 3. your prior approval has been obtained to a) provide a written report to another professional or agency. e.g., a GP or a lawyer; or b) discuss the material with another person, eg. a parent, employer or health provider; or c) disclose the information in another way; or 4\. you would reasonably expect your personal information to be disclosed to another professional or agency (e.g. your GP) and disclosure of your personal information to that third party is for a purpose which is directly related to the primary purpose for which your personal information was collected; 5\. disclosure is otherwise required or authorised by law. Your personal information will not be used, sold, rented or disclosed for any other purpose. As part of providing a quality service, the Australian Health Practitioner Regulatory Agency requires that psychologists engage in regular clinical supervision. If discussed, all information that may identify you is kept confidential. Finally, recording of face to face/phone or Telehealth consultations is not permitted. **NON-ATTENDANCE REMINDER** - Appointments cancelled or rescheduled within less than 48 hours will incur 50% of the appointment fee. - Appointments cancelled or rescheduled within less than 24 hours will incur 100% of the appointment fee. The non attendance fee is a fee associated with all cancellations, rescheduling or non-attended appointments and applies irrespective of the reason. The fee will be charged to your credit card in line with the terms stated above. Please be aware that cancellation and rescheduling fees are NOT rebatable through Medicare. Read more about our privacy policy [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/privacy-policy/ "Privacy Policy"). --- ### [Privacy Policy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/privacy-policy/) **Published:** October 2, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** This Privacy Policy outlines how we manage and protect the privacy of your personal information in The Three Seas Group. Our practice is managed according to the Code of Conduct for Psychologists of the Australian Health Practitioners Regulation Agency. The Three Seas Group is committed to protecting your privacy in accordance with the Australian Privacy Principles set out in the Privacy Act 1988 (Cth). **Your information** Client files are held in: - a secure filing cabinet, and/or - an encrypted, cloud-based storage online booking system with medical grade security which is only accessible to your practitioner and the Practice Manager. The information on each file includes personal information such as name, address, contact phone numbers, medical history, and other personal information collected as part of providing the psychological and/or counselling service. Personal information will also be collected and held in a secure internet-based appointment scheduling program. Additionally, if you provide consent for your credit card details to be stored, they will be stored in a secure PCI-compliant, encrypted, cloud-based payment processing system. We hold all records for at least seven years. For clients under the age of 18, records are kept for either seven years or until the client turns 25, whichever occurs last. **How your personal information is collected** Your personal information is collected in a number of ways during psychological consultation. These include times when you provide information directly to the practitioner using soft or hardcopy forms, correspondence via email, when you interact directly with employees of The Three Seas Group such as the Client Connect Team, and when other health practitioners provide personal information to The Three Seas Group, via referrals, correspondence and medical reports. **Consequences of not providing personal information** If you do not wish for your personal information to be collected in a way anticipated by this Privacy Policy, your practitioner at The Three Seas Group may not be in a position to provide the service to you. **Purpose of holding personal information** Your personal information is gathered and used for the purpose of providing psychological services, which includes assessing, diagnosing and treating your presenting issue(s). The personal information is required to be retained in order to document what happens during sessions and enables the therapist to provide a relevant and informed service. **Disclosure of personal information** All personal information gathered during the provision of services will remain confidential except when: - it is subpoenaed by a court, or disclosure is otherwise required or authorised by law; or - failure to disclose the information would in the reasonable belief of your practitioner place a client or another person at serious risk to life, health or safety; or - the client’s, or consent of a parent or guardian who is legally authorised to act on their behalf, prior approval has been obtained to: 1. provide a written report to another agency or professional, e.g., a GP or a lawyer; or 2. discuss the material with another person, e.g. a parent, employer, health provider, or third-party funder; or 3. disclose to another professional or agency (e.g., your GP) and disclosure of your personal information to that third party is for a purpose which is directly related to the primary purpose for which your personal information was collected. - clinical consultation with another professional is required when any issues are identified that may interfere with your practitioner’s ability to provide effective and culturally safe clinical services. In these cases, practitioners may seek supervision or advice from another or more experienced practitioner. If this occurs, identifying details will remain confidential. A client’s personal information is not disclosed to overseas recipients unless the client consents or such disclosure is otherwise required by law. Clients’ personal information will not be used, sold, rented or disclosed for any other purpose. We will not disclose any identifiable information about you without your consent. You may provide consent for your practitioner to disclose or obtain information about you to or from other third parties. This consent is valid for a period of 12 months in the absence of significant changes. Your consent can be withdrawn at any time; if this occurs your practitioner will discuss the implications of this with you. In the event that unauthorised access, disclosure, or loss of a client’s personal information occurs the practitioner will activate a data breach plan and use all reasonable endeavours to minimise any risk of consequential serious harm. **Requests for access and correction to client information** At any stage a client may request to see and correct the personal information about them kept on file. The psychologist may discuss the contents with you and/or give you a copy, subject to the exceptions in the Privacy Act 1988 (Cth). If satisfied that personal information is inaccurate, out of date or incomplete, reasonable steps will be taken in this circumstance to ensure that this information is corrected. All requests by clients for access to or correction of personal information held about them should be lodged with their practitioner in writing. These requests will be responded to within 30 days, and an appointment will be made if necessary for clarification purposes. **Concerns** If you have a concern about the management of your personal information, you may inform your practitioner. If requested, a copy of the Australian Privacy Principles may be given to you, which describe your rights and how your personal information should be handled. Ultimately, if you wish to lodge a formal complaint about the use of, disclosure of, or access to, your personal information, you may do so with the Office of the Australian Information Commissioner by phone on 1300 363 992, online at http://www.oaic.gov.au/privacy/making-a-privacy-complaint or by post to: Office of the Australian Information Commissioner, GPO Box 5218, Sydney, NSW 2001. ***Please note: We undertake to treat all your information with respect and confidentiality. If you have any concerns with regards to these matters or require further clarification after reading this page, please discuss them with your practitioner or a member of our Client Connect Team.*** [Privacy Policy 2025](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Privacy-Policy-2025-1.pdf) --- ### [General FAQs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/general-faqs/) **Published:** July 28, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **General FAQs** - **How many sessions will I need to commit to?** Every person has a unique therapeutic journey. The number of sessions is largely dependent on the individual’s needs, the nature of why they are seeking therapy & what they ultimately want to achieve through therapy. Some people require only six (or fewer) sessions while others may require significantly more. This matter will be discussed with your psychologist after the first session & will be tailored to the unique needs of the individual. The Three Seas offers short-, mid- and long-term therapy sessions; however, our focus is less on how long the process will take and rather on ensuring that our clients effectively resolve their issues and achieve their desired outcomes. - **How do I choose the right psychologist for me to see?** Our highly experienced & trained Client Connect Team has thorough knowledge of our Melbourne psychologists and counsellors’ strengths and therapeutic approaches. They have been trained to make sure that you are paired with a psychologist or couples counsellor that suits your needs. Finding the right psychologist for you can be tricky. All psychologists bring their own methods, values, and personality to their care, so it’s important to find one that you click with. Similarly, it’s important that the therapist you choose is equipped with the skills to help you. Treatment approaches vary widely, from cognitive behavioural therapy to acceptance and commitment therapy. If the first psychologist you see doesn’t feel right, don’t give up! Trial and error will help you to find a psychologist that allows you to feel seen and heard. Our reception team is happy to discuss the best therapist options for you. You can always provide your psychologist with honest feedback and feel able to ask them about their credentials and registration. - **Locations & Opening Hours** The Three Seas is conveniently located in four locations across Melbourne. We have practices in the CBD, Richmond, Fitzroy North & Wantirna South. We additionally offer telehealth counselling which caters to patients across Australia and globally. Addresses for each practice can be found [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/). Opening Client Connect team hours are Mon – Fri: 8am – 8pm and Sat: 8:30am – 4:30pm Our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) offer appointments from 8am-9pm Monday to Friday and 9am-5pm on a Saturday. - How are we minimising COVID risks for our clients and team? The Three Seas Group takes its responsibility seriously to ensure the health and safety of its staff and clients. Our spaces are being cleaned regularly and frequently touched surfaces such as door handles will be cleaned with disinfectant wipes. We will provide hand sanitiser for you to use, although it’s important to note that thorough and frequent handwashing is the most effective way to reduce the spread of COVID-19. If your therapist is unwell or has been in contact with someone who is unwell, even if they’re not sure if the symptoms relate to COVID-19, they will move their sessions to Telehealth and will discontinue face to face sessions until they have confirmation of a clear COVID-19 test. - **How does the Client Connect team ascertain which psychologist will be appropriate?** Our highly experienced & trained Client Connect Team has thorough knowledge of our Melbourne psychologists and counsellors’ strengths and therapeutic approaches. They have been trained to make sure that you are paired with a psychologist or couples counsellor that suits your needs. In addition to this, they will assess the availability of the psychologists to ensure that you get an appointment as soon as possible in line with your needs & availability. - **How does confidentiality with a psychologist work?** All matters discussed with the Psychologist remain absolutely private and confidential. Information will remain confidential to all parties unless you give written consent to release information. - **What is a psychiatrist, and how is that different from a psychologist?** A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specialises in mental health. Unlike psychologists, psychiatrists can prescribe medication, diagnose complex conditions, and provide medical management of mental illness. They often work with people experiencing more severe symptoms such as psychosis, bipolar disorder, or treatment-resistant depression. [Read more about the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-the-difference-between-a-psychologist-and-psychiatrist/). Psychologists, on the other hand, are trained in talk-based therapies (such as CBT, ACT, or Schema Therapy) and focus on helping individuals understand and manage their thoughts, behaviours, and emotional responses. In many cases, psychologists and psychiatrists work together to provide integrated care — with psychiatrists focusing on medication and diagnosis, and psychologists supporting clients through therapy. At The Three Seas, we can assess whether a psychiatric referral might be beneficial as part of your overall care plan. --- ### [Our Approach & Values](https://thethreeseas.com.au/our-approach-values/) **Published:** June 23, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## ABOUT US # Our Approach & Values ## **Our Approach & Values** At The Three Seas Psychology, our mission is to deliver personalised, high-quality mental health services that support individuals through life’s challenges with a genuine personal touch. With four clinic locations across Melbourne and the ability to see clients Australia-wide via Telehealth, we offer care that is thoughtful, evidence-informed, and human-centred. ### What We Value Our practice is guided by seven core values that reflect both who we are and how we work: - **Curiosity and an Open Mind** – We approach every individual with genuine curiosity, seeking to understand their unique context, history and needs. - **Compassion in Every Interaction** – Kindness and empathy are foundational to every therapeutic relationship. - **Collaborative Care** – We believe in working *with* our clients, and with consent, their broader support team to foster continuity of care. - **Cherish Opportunities to Learn and Improve** – We are a learning-focused practice committed to ongoing growth and development. - **Create a Safe, Non-Judgmental Environment** – We strive to offer a space where all individuals feel safe, respected and accepted. - **Communicate with Authenticity** – Honest, clear and respectful communication underpins all that we do. - **Cultivate Excellence** – We hold ourselves to high clinical standards, grounded in research and responsive to change. ## Our Therapeutic Approach ### Individualised, Evidence-Based Care No two people are the same, and neither is their therapy. Our psychologists draw from a broad range of evidence-based modalities, tailoring each treatment plan to suit the individual’s history, goals and preferences. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, depression, trauma, life transitions or relationship difficulties, we offer therapy that is flexible, collaborative and aligned to your unique needs. ### A Human-Centred Alternative to Fast-Turnaround Therapy We don’t subscribe to a high-turnover, protocol-driven model. At The Three Seas, we prioritise quality over quantity, offering therapy that is relational, intentional and sustainable. Real psychological change takes time, a sense of safety and depth. That’s what we strive to provide. ### Collaboration with GPs and Allied Health Professionals We know that effective care often involves more than one practitioner. With your consent, we work closely with GPs, psychiatrists and allied health professionals to ensure continuity of care and a shared understanding of your mental health needs. ### Inclusive, Culturally Sensitive Care We welcome clients from all walks of life. Our practice is committed to providing a culturally safe, inclusive space for LGBTIQ+ communities, First Nations peoples, neurodivergent individuals and those from diverse cultural or linguistic backgrounds. Many of our clinicians bring lived or cross-cultural perspectives to their work. ### Professional Growth & Peer Support Our clinicians engage in regular supervision, peer consultation and ongoing professional development. This ensures our team stays up to date with best practices and continues to deliver high-quality care across all areas. ### Your Voice Matters Therapy at The Three Seas is a shared process. From the very first session, your goals, insights and preferences help shape the direction of your care. We want you to feel heard, respected and empowered every step of the way. ### Ready to Begin? To learn more or book an appointment, call us on **(03) 9809 1000** or use our [online booking form](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup). We’re here to support you with care that’s thoughtful, not rushed. --- ### [Understanding Depression and Treatment Options](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne-2-2/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/) **Published:** November 28, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **What is Depression?** Depression is a mental health condition that affects how a person feels, thinks, and behaves. Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in daily activities characterise it. Feeling sad sometimes is normal. However, depression is more serious. It can last for weeks or even months and affects every part of a person’s life. ### **Symptoms of Depression** Depression is common among Australians, with an average of 20% experiencing a depressive disorder in their lifetime. Common symptoms include: - ~Low mood - ~Persistent negative thoughts - ~Troubled sleeping patterns - ~Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness - ~Irritability and aggression - ~Loss of interest in daily activities - ~Changes in appetite - ~Increased drug or alcohol consumption - ~Difficulty concentrating - ~Reckless behaviour - ~Suicidal thoughts These symptoms can significantly affect relationships, work, home, and social life, as well as physical health. Depression can be mild or severe. In its worst form, it can cause low self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness. This may even lead to thoughts of suicide. If you are experiencing these symptoms, it’s important to reach out for help. Remember, you are not alone, and support is available. ### **Causes and Diagnosis** Depression poses a serious challenge and can stem from various factors, including genetics, environmental influences, or personal circumstances. Doctors often use the **Kessler Psychological Distress Scale (K10)** to see if someone has depression or just a low mood. The K10 scale includes 10 questions about emotional states, each with a five-level response scale. The results can indicate levels of psychological distress. If a doctor finds depression, they might make a Mental Health Care Plan. They may also refer the person to a psychologist. In some cases, doctors may also recommend anti-depressant medication. Take our [**Depression Quiz**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-quiz/ "Depression Quiz") to gain insights into your mental health and better understand your experiences for self-assessment. ### **Seeking Help and Treatment** Depression is a serious condition, but recovery is possible with the right support. Professional counselling helps individuals understand and manage depression. Our psychologists use evidence-based techniques, including **[Cognitive Behavioural Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne/ "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne") (CBT)**, considered the gold standard for treating depression. If you feel hopeless or have symptoms, talking to a mental health professional can help. They can give you support and tools you need. Our experienced psychologists will help you explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work towards recovery. **Additional Supportive Practices:** In addition to therapy and medication, certain lifestyle changes can support mental health improvement: - Regular exercise - Balanced diet - Sufficient sleep - Engaging in enjoyable activities - Spending time with loved ones - Practicing mindfulness or meditation Recovery takes time, so be patient with yourself. Celebrate small victories and allow yourself to heal at your own pace. ### **How We Can Help** At The Three Seas Psychology, we offer a range of services to support individuals struggling with depression: - A team of over 40 psychologists, provisional psychologists, and counselors - Convenient locations in Fitzroy North, Richmond, Knox, and Melbourne CBD - Family Therapy - Couples/Relationship Therapy - Medicare Rebates available - Open late/after hours Our client **Connect Team** will carefully match you with the most suitable psychologist based on your needs. Call us today at **(03) 9809 1000** to take the first step towards healing. **Remember, You’re Not Alone** Depression is treatable, and seeking help is a brave and vital step. Whether through therapy, medication, or lifestyle changes, there are paths to recovery. Talking to a trained psychologist is one of the best choices you can make for your mental health. Call to book an appointment now (03) 9809 1000 to take the first step towards feeling better. --- ### [Perinatal Mental Health Support in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/perinatal-mental-health-support-in-melbourne/) **Published:** June 23, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## CONDITIONS WE TREAT # Perinatal Mental Health Support in Melbourne ## **What Is Perinatal Mental Health?** *Perinatal mental health* refers to the emotional and psychological wellbeing of parents from conception through the first 12 months after birth. It includes antenatal (during pregnancy) and postnatal or *postpartum* (after birth) stages, as well as the developing parent–infant bond. ## **Why Early Support Matters** Left untreated, perinatal mood disorders can affect birth outcomes, infant development and long-term relationship health. Early assessment and therapy reduce complications, improve bonding and lower the risk of chronic mental health conditions later in life. ## **Common Conditions We Treat** ### Antenatal Anxiety & Depression - Persistent worry, intrusive thoughts, appetite or sleep changes during pregnancy. ### Postnatal Depression (PND) - Low mood, loss of interest, guilt or hopelessness appearing in the first year after birth. ### Birth Trauma & PTSD - Flashbacks, hyper-arousal or avoidance following a difficult or unexpected labour. ### Perinatal and Infant Mental Health Bonding Issues - Struggling to connect, feeling detached or fearful when caring for your baby. ## **Our Evidence-Based Approach** Our perinatal psychologists integrate: - Attachment-focused frameworks (e.g., **Circle of Security**). - Emotion-focused and compassion-based therapies. - Trauma-informed practices for those with previous loss, IVF, or NICU experience. We work closely with GPs, obstetricians and maternal-child health nurses to create a cohesive support plan—ensuring medication reviews, sleep strategies and practical supports are considered alongside therapy. ## **What to Expect at The Three Seas Psychology** 1. **Comprehensive Assessment** – including validated screening tools and a review of medical, hormonal and lifestyle factors. 2. **Personalised Treatment Plan** – tailored goals, session frequency and partner involvement where appropriate. 3. **Optional Group Programs** – such as *The New Mum Reset* (link) for structured peer support. 4. **Ongoing Review & Outcome Tracking** – because effective care adapts as you and your baby grow. ## **Fees, Medicare Rebates & Telehealth** With a **GP Mental Health Care Plan**, you may receive a Medicare rebate for up to 10 sessions per calendar year. Sliding-scale fees are available, and Telehealth lets you attend sessions while caring for an infant or living outside Melbourne. ## FAQs on Perinatal & Postnatal Mental Health Why is perinatal mental health important? Untreated perinatal disorders can impact maternal health, infant brain development and the parent–infant bond. Early intervention fosters secure attachment and reduces long-term health costs. How common is postnatal depression? Australian research shows about 1 in 7 new mothers and 1 in 10 new fathers experience PND within 12 months of birth. When should I seek help? If low mood, anxiety or frightening thoughts persist for **>** two weeks or affect daily life, speak with your GP or book a perinatal psychologist. Immediate help: [PANDA](https://www.panda.org.au/contact) 1300 726 306. Do you offer perinatal support courses? Yes we do. We have a brand new offering called [The New Mum Reset Support Group](https://thethreeseas.com.au/postnatal-support-group-in-melbourne/). --- ### [Recommended Books and Podcasts](https://thethreeseas.com.au/recommended-books-and-podcasts/) **Published:** June 26, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Recommended Books and Podcasts At The Three Seas Psychology, we believe that healing and growth extend beyond the therapy room. Whether you’re looking to deepen your understanding of mental health, explore strategies for emotional wellbeing, or simply feel less alone in your experiences, the right resource can be a powerful companion on your journey. Below, we’ve curated a list of books and podcasts that many of our clients and clinicians have found informative, comforting, or inspiring. These resources cover a broad range of topics, including anxiety, trauma, relationships, parenting, emotional regulation, and personal growth. ### **Recommended Books** #### [*The Body Keeps the Score* – Bessel van der Kolk](https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score) A groundbreaking exploration of how trauma reshapes the body and brain—and how innovative treatments can offer healing and hope. #### [*Lost Connections* – Johann Hari](https://johannhari.com/) This thought-provoking book challenges traditional views of depression and anxiety, focusing instead on the importance of connection, meaning, and community. #### [*Set Boundaries, Find Peace* – Nedra Glover Tawwab](https://www.nedratawwab.com/set-boundaries-find-peace) A practical guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships, at work, and with yourself—rooted in both psychological research and lived experience. #### [*The Whole-Brain Child* – Dr. Daniel J. Siegel & Dr. Tina Payne Bryson](https://drdansiegel.com/book/the-whole-brain-child) Essential reading for parents and caregivers, offering strategies to support children’s brain development and emotional regulation. #### [*Emotional Agility* – Dr. Susan David](https://www.susandavid.com/book/) Learn how to navigate life’s twists and turns with psychological flexibility, clarity, and courage. #### [*Attached* – Dr. Amir Levine & Rachel Heller](https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/about-the-book/) An accessible introduction to attachment theory and how our early relationships shape how we connect with others. #### [*Maybe You Should Talk to Someone* – Lori Gottlieb](https://lorigottlieb.com/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone/?) Part memoir, part clinical insight, this compassionate and often humorous book sheds light on the therapeutic process—from both sides of the couch. ### **Recommended Podcasts** #### [*The Psychology Podcast* with Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman](https://scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/) Insightful interviews with leading experts in psychology, creativity, and human potential. #### [*Where Should We Begin?* with Esther Perel](https://www.estherperel.com/podcast) Real-life couples’ therapy sessions with world-renowned therapist Esther Perel, offering deep insight into love, conflict, and intimacy. #### [*The Mindful Kind* with Rachael Kable](https://themindfulkind.libsyn.com) Short, digestible episodes offering mindfulness tips, mental health reflections, and simple strategies for emotional wellbeing. #### [*Unlocking Us* with Brené Brown](https://brenebrown.com/podcast-show/unlocking-us/) Honest, courageous conversations about vulnerability, leadership, mental health, and connection. #### [*Huberman Lab* with Dr. Andrew Huberman](https://www.hubermanlab.com) A science-focused podcast exploring how the brain and body work, with practical takeaways for sleep, stress, focus, and mood regulation. #### [*The Trauma Therapist Podcast* with Guy Macpherson](https://www.thetraumatherapistproject.com) Conversations with trauma-informed professionals sharing tools, experiences, and insights to support both therapists and clients. ### A Note of Encouragement While books and podcasts can offer comfort, clarity, and knowledge, they are not a substitute for personalised mental health care. If any of the topics you explore here resonate deeply—or if you’re feeling overwhelmed—we encourage you to reach out. Our team of qualified psychologists is here to support you, wherever you are on your mental health journey. --- ### [Grief and loss](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) **Published:** October 18, 2017 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## **Understanding the Grieving Process and When to Seek Support** Grief and loss are some of life’s most difficult emotional experiences. Whether you’re mourning the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a significant life change, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. At The Three Seas Psychology, we provide compassionate support to help you navigate these painful moments and begin your journey toward healing. ## What Is Grief? Grief is a natural response to any form of loss. While we often associate grief with bereavement, it can also occur after: - The death of a family member, friend, or pet - A divorce, separation, or relationship breakdown - Miscarriage, stillbirth, or fertility challenges - Job loss, redundancy, or retirement - Loss of financial independence or lifestyle - Chronic illness or significant health changes - Moving house or losing a sense of belonging - The loss of a long-held goal or future dream - Traumatic events that disrupt your sense of safety Everyone experiences grief differently. It can be brief or prolonged, visible or silent, and may resurface over time. Understanding your emotions is the first step toward healing. ## Signs and Symptoms of Grief The emotional and physical symptoms of grief can vary, but often include: - Intense sadness, crying, or emotional numbness - Feelings of guilt, regret, or helplessness - Anger, frustration, or fear about the future - Trouble sleeping (insomnia), changes in appetite - Physical symptoms such as fatigue, aches, nausea, or chest tightness - Difficulty concentrating or staying motivated These reactions are normal—but if they persist or interfere with daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. ## How to Cope with Grief and Loss There’s no single way to “get over” grief. Healing from loss is a personal journey that takes time, self-compassion, and support. You may find it helpful to: - Talk to trusted friends or family members - Express your emotions through writing, art, or movement - Honour your loss through rituals, memory books, or time in nature - Establish a routine to help stabilise your day-to-day life - Avoid self-judgment—there is no “right” timeline for grieving If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or isolated, working with a psychologist can offer the space and guidance you need to process your loss. ## Professional Grief Counselling in Melbourne At The Three Seas Psychology, we offer evidence-based support for grief and loss. Our registered psychologists are trained to help individuals process bereavement, trauma-related grief, and complex emotional responses. We offer flexible therapy options, including: - **In-person grief counselling** at our Melbourne clinics - **Telehealth grief support** (available Australia-wide) - **Phone consultations** and remote therapy sessions Whether you’re dealing with recent grief or unresolved loss from years past, we’re here to help you navigate your emotions and reclaim a sense of meaning. --- ## Book an Appointment Today You don’t have to face grief alone. Our compassionate team is here to support you with personalised, professional care. **Contact The Three Seas Psychology** to speak with a qualified grief counsellor or book your first appointment. --- ### [Employee Assistance Program](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program/) **Published:** December 4, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Employee Assistance Program ## SERVICES # Employee Assistance Program ![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/EAP-WEB-page-1024x548-1-720x385-1.jpg) ## What is an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP)? An Employee Assistance Programme, or EAP, is an employer-funded initiative that provides confidential counselling and support for employees facing personal and work challenges. EAP services are designed to help employees address issues that could impact their mental health, job performance, and overall well-being. EAP services are often accessible at no cost to employees and can provide immediate support for critical incidents. By offering EAP services, employers support a healthy workplace, reducing absenteeism and staff turnover, and promoting job satisfaction and productivity. Our EAP counselling sessions can be conducted face-to-face, over the phone, or via teleconference, allowing employees to access support wherever they feel comfortable. ## Benefits of EAP Counselling and Support Services Modern EAP services address a wide range of issues, from family and marital problems to workplace-related stress. Originally established to combat alcoholism and drug abuse, EAPs now offer confidential counselling for: - Job stress and managing workplace pressures - Family and marital issues, including support for family members - Coping with workplace bullying, harassment, or violence - Balancing caregiver responsibilities, such as child and elder care - Major life events (e.g., retirement, bereavement, divorce) - Financial or legal concerns - Adjusting to organisational changes, including company downsizing In Australia, where over 65% of the workforce spends a significant part of their lives at work, it’s essential to maintain a psychologically supportive workplace. ## Components of EAP Services at The Three Seas Our Employee Assistance Programme typically includes short-term counselling (3-6 sessions) by registered psychologists. In these sessions, our EAP counsellors assess the psychological health of employees and develop tailored treatment plans to address specific issues. If ongoing support is required, employees may be referred to suitable external mental health services. The counselling offered through EAPs is often “reactive,” meaning employees can reach out when facing specific mental health challenges. In addition to reactive counselling, The Three Seas offers proactive EAP services to support organisational health. These include: - Workplace health assessments to identify well-being needs - Leadership development programmes to support management teams - Mental health workshops focused on resilience and job engagement Research consistently shows that combining reactive and proactive EAP interventions leads to better outcomes for employees and organisations alike. ## External vs. Internal EAP Services Many companies choose to contract an external provider, like The Three Seas, for their EAP services. This approach allows for greater confidentiality and minimises any stigma associated with seeking help, as employees can access support outside their workplace. **Benefits of External EAP Services:** - Confidential access to counselling outside the workplace - Assurance of privacy and anonymity - Reduced risk of dual relationships with in-house staff Some organisations opt for internal EAP services, allowing employees easier access to counselling on-site and the benefit of counsellors familiar with the workplace culture. ## The Three Seas EAP Approach At The Three Seas, our Employee Assistance Programme goes beyond traditional short-term counselling. We offer a range of proactive services, including workplace well-being assessments, tailored mental health workshops, and leadership coaching. Our goal is to prevent issues before they arise and to build resilience within the organisation. Employees can schedule appointments directly with The Three Seas, assured of complete confidentiality. We provide monthly de-identified reports for employers, allowing them to monitor programme effectiveness and identify common challenges employees may be facing. Regular six- and twelve-month reviews enable us to tailor EAP services to meet the evolving needs of the organisation. With locations in Melbourne’s CBD, Richmond, Fitzroy North and Knox, The Three Seas offers accessible psychological services, including on-site support for employees unable to visit our clinics. We provide flexible appointment options, including after-hours and weekend availability, to ensure employees receive timely support. ## Get in Touch with The Three Seas EAP Team The Three Seas proudly partners with a diverse range of organisations across Victoria. To learn more about how our Employee Assistance Programme can support your team, [call us at 9809-1000](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us"). We’re here to help your employees thrive, both personally and professionally. Information for Employers: [HERE](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program-eap-information-employers/) ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Contact Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Contact Us ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Contact Us ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ Call our Client Connect Team for an appointment today 03 9809 1000. ## Our reception is open from: Mon – Fri: 8am – 8pm to Sat 8:30am – 4:30pm ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Forensic Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/forensic-psychology/) **Published:** August 14, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## What Is Forensic Psychology? Forensic psychology is focused primarily on addressing the mental health concerns of individuals who have come into contact with the legal system. Psychologists trained in forensic psychology provide a variety of services. For example, in the judicial system, they evaluate and assess the psychological functioning and capacity of individuals suspected or convicted of committing a crime. Within law enforcement, they provide psychological profiling and interviewing of offenders. They often work in correctional settings, conduct screenings and assessments of inmates in prison administering evaluations and provide mental health treatment on an individual basis or group therapy format with a focus on anger management, substance abuse treatment, and relapse prevention. [![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/abstract-art-black-and-white-724994-720x517.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/abstract-art-black-and-white-724994.jpg)Psychologists with training in forensics may work with forensic issues in a private practice setting. Typically, treatment is provided to individuals who present with concerns regarding domestic/interpersonal violence and abuse, anger management, criminal conduct and legal matters. A psychologist may also provide therapeutic interventions with victims of crime. A victim of crime is someone who has endured psychological, emotional, and physical injury and/or financial loss due to crime such as sexual assault, violent attack, robbery, assault and robbery, stalking, domestic/ family violence or conduct endangering life. A victim of crime may also include a person who has witnessed a crime or a family member of someone who was injured or killed. A victim of crime can be eligible for financial compensation/assistance for expenses incurred as a direct result of the crime such as, lost earnings, medical, funeral, safety and psychological counselling expenses through the Victims of Crime Assistance Tribunal (VOCAT). In order to apply for financial assistance through VOCAT, the crime must be reported to the police as soon as possible and must have occurred within the last two years. If the crime occurred outside of the two year time limit, an application for an extension of time must be made. In terms of accessing psychological counselling, VOCAT will usually pay for the first five hours (sessions) of counselling for adult applicants accessing counselling for the first time in regards to an act of violence. Applicants who have already accessed an initial five hours of counselling through VOCAT and desire additional counselling can make an application for additional counselling expenses. Most VOCAT victims have lawyers, as VOCAT generally pays for legal fees. A victim of crime seeking psychological counselling can either be referred to a psychologist through their lawyer or may self-refer (obtain a psychologist on their own). Some common symptoms that victims of crime often suffer from and seek treatment for include, repeated and distressing thoughts of the event, nightmares, flashbacks, irritability and restlessness, hypervigilance (“jumpy”), anxiety, fear, depression, anger, guilt, social isolation/withdrawing from others, sleep disturbance, and concentration and memory difficulties. --- ### [Alcoholism and Binge Drinking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/alcoholism-and-binge-drinking/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## **Alcoholism and Binge Drinking: Understanding the Risks and Seeking Help** Australia’s relationship with alcohol is well-documented — and troubling. With **1 in 12 Australians addicted to alcohol**, and sustained binge drinking increasing, particularly among **younger age groups**, it’s more important than ever to understand the risks and seek help when needed. ## **What is Alcoholism?** **Alcoholism**, also known as **Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)**, refers to a medical condition characterised by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. It’s not just about how much you drink — it’s about **how often** and **why**. Those who drink regularly to cope with stress, avoid emotions, or “numb out” may be at higher risk of developing dependency. Long-term health impacts of AUD include: - Liver disease and cirrhosis - Cardiovascular issues - Neurological damage - Increased risk of cancers - Mental health disorders like anxiety and depression ## **What is Binge Drinking?** **Binge drinking** isn’t strictly defined by a number of drinks. Instead, it refers to **the pattern of consuming large amounts of alcohol in a short time**, typically to the point of intoxication. In Australia, binge drinking is often normalised by our culture — and that’s part of the problem. Binge drinking can cause: - Dangerous loss of coordination - Impaired judgment and risk-taking behaviour - Vomiting, dizziness, or alcohol poisoning - Memory loss or blackouts - Long-term brain damage or liver failure ## **Signs and Symptoms** If you or someone you know may be struggling with alcohol misuse, look for these **warning signs**: **Physical signs:** - Frequent hangovers - Poor sleep quality - Deteriorating physical health **Psychological signs:** - Anxiety or mood swings - Using alcohol to cope - Depression or irritability **Behavioural signs:** - Drinking alone or in secret - Avoiding responsibilities - Increased tolerance or withdrawal symptoms ### **How to Know If You or a Loved One Needs Help** It’s not always easy to know when drinking becomes a problem. Ask yourself: - Do I often drink more than I planned? - Have I tried to cut back but couldn’t? - Is alcohol affecting my work, relationships, or mental health? If the answer is yes to any of these, it may be time to talk to someone. ## **How a Psychologist Can Help** Speaking to a trained psychologist can help you get back on track. At **The Three Seas Psychology**, our practitioners can work with you to: - Understand the **underlying reasons** behind your drinking - Identify **triggers** and create **personalised coping strategies** - Deliver evidence-based therapies like **CBT**, **DBT**, or even **EMDR** if trauma is involved If you’re a parent worried about your child or teenager, psychologists can also help **guide your family** through this process and support early intervention. ## **Support Services and Resources** In addition to psychological support, there are several services and hotlines available for those struggling with alcohol use: - [Alcohol and Drug Foundation (ADF)](https://adf.org.au/) - [ReachOut](https://au.reachout.com) - [Beyond Blue](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/) - [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) – 13 11 14 You can also contact **The Three Seas** for confidential, one-on-one support tailored to your needs. ### **Book a Confidential Appointment** If your alcohol use — or a loved one’s — is becoming unmanageable, **don’t wait**. 📞 **Call us today on (03) 9809 1000** Or [**book an appointment online**](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) --- ### [Drug Addiction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/drug-addiction/) **Published:** December 7, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Drug Addiction ## HOME ## Drug Addiction ## Understanding Drug Addiction and Common Challenges Drug use and drug addictions are very common amongst Australians, where the most common addictions are cigarettes and alcohol. Illicit drugs such as marijuana and heroin are far less commonly used. There are many different reasons why a person develops a drug addiction. Some people take drugs to dull physical or psychological pain, but it’s important to remember that this doesn’t make the root cause go away. In the long run, a drug addiction only makes the pain worse. The signs or symptoms of a drug addiction include: ## What Are the Common Signs of Drug Addiction? - Using drugs to cope emotionally - Neglecting work and social responsibilities - Increased conflicts with family, friends or colleagues - Engaging in risky behaviours (e.g. unsafe sex, drink driving or sharing needles) - Withdrawal symptoms - Inability to stop taking drugs ## Health Effects of Drug Addiction The health side-effects to a drug addiction vary widely according to the drug in question. The long-term impact of drug addiction can vary depending on the type of substance used, but many carry serious risks to both physical and mental health. Below are some of the most common health complications associated with ongoing substance abuse: - Brain damage - Psychosis - Cancer - Liver failure - Heart disease - Memory loss - Increased aggression and violence - Increased physical accidents ## Psychological Support for Drug Addiction Substance abuse can lead to a wide range of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and psychosis. [Psychological treatments](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help to break you out of the addiction. Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right psychologists for therapy. ## Get Help for Drug Addiction at The Three Seas Psychology If you or anyone you know has an addiction to drugs, call The Three Seas Psychology Group to make an appointment. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Anger Management](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Anger Management in Melbourne ## Gain insight into your anger and acquire skills to effectively manage it. ## What is anger? ![anger triggers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Anger-Triggers-Adult-1-248x143.jpg)Anger, though a natural emotion, may express itself in undesirable ways. Aggression and high adrenaline trigger physiological reactions such as a raised heartbeat, higher temperatures and palpitations. It can cause us to behave aggressively and inappropriately which can negatively impact on our relationships on either a personal or professional level. ## Signs you have anger issues - You often feel angry. - People close to you are worried about it. - Arguments often end in heated words or behaviours. - People are fearful of you. - It leads to problems at work or home. - You often become annoyed while driving. - You loose temper very quickly over small matters. - You are directing your anger onto those close to you. ## What are the anger triggers? If you struggle to manage your aggression, it is important to identify and actively avoid the most common triggers for it. The things that cause anger triggers may differ from person to person and for many people, the most common triggers are: - Driving – road rage - Frustration - Relationship conflict - Alcohol or drug use - Feeling powerless - Feeling that you have been treated unfairly - Running late for an appointment Speaking with a fully trained psychologist can help you to learn what to do when you can’t avoid a trigger and you start to get angry. ## What is Anger Management Counselling? ![anger Management courses for anger control image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Anger-Management-Adults-248x143.jpg) Everyone loses their temper once in a while, but when it starts getting out of control, it’s time to seek professional help. A psychologist can understand the causes and teach you ways to manage anger so that it doesn’t get out of control. Learning healthy ways to show feelings will assist in the treatment process. Aggression levels range from mild to extreme rage. Sometimes people who are experiencing extreme anger may be verbally or physically abusive and be unable to control their behaviour. That’s where anger management program comes into place. Aggression have very destructive effects on a person and their closest friends and family. If it is negatively affecting your life, your relationships or your work, it’s important to seek help. [Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) services can help with all anger problems or issues from mild irritation to explosive rage. At The Three Seas Psychology, we work with you to manage your aggression levels and to minimize angry confrontation or self-harm. #### How it can benefit you to manage anger? - Understanding the root causes of your irritability. - Examine the thoughts, feelings and behaviour that make you annoying. - Gain self-understanding and insight, including identifying triggers. - Improve your communication skills and self-expression. - Develop coping strategies to manage provoking situations. - Learn techniques and tools that are applicable for the long-term. When a person gets angry, their ‘fight or flight’ response is triggered and this releases hormones, such as adrenalin into the body. The long-term side-effects of extreme aggression can potentially be harmful to a person’s health and lead to other medical and psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and heart attacks. Out-of-control aggression is also often found in connection with alcohol or drug use. Check out the following video in which Psychologist Clinton Batty discusses psychological issues. The Three Seas Psychology Group [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Psychologists") are highly experienced in treating anger management issues. If you wish to seek the best treatment, make a booking by calling us on 03 98091000 today. ## Anger in Children and adolescents. Children and adolescents feel aggressive exactly the same way that adults do.The roots of aggression in humans are ancient: the original purpose was part of the generalised alarm response or the innate fight or flight reflex when faced with danger. This would have been useful when we were living in caves but in the modern world, aggression and rage serve little purpose. They often remove our ability to think logically and with reason. One thing is for sure: having even one angry member in the home impacts the entire family. It is important to realise that it is a natural part of life and that the way we manage it is the key to a happy life. The way we deal with it is crucial. Expressing aggression in most circumstances is not beneficial but neither is burying your feelings if you are upset about something. If you understand what is causing angry outbursts, you can begin to work on the problem from both ends. Here are some of the most common causes of anger: ### Annoyances Sometimes children and adolescents have a low patience threshold and are easily annoyed. This can be a learned behaviour from a parent or a unique trait uncommon in other family members. People are mainly annoyed by: people, animals or the actions of either – e.g. the incessant barking of a dog or the revving of an engine. ### Irritations Almost anything can get on a teenager’s nerves, especially when a younger sibling is concerned, and can be unnoticeable to an adult. Being interrupted, breaking something by accident or tearing a special piece of clothing can all cause an angry outburst. ### Stress Children and adolescents are sensitive to stress and when they don’t recognise the feelings in themselves, they may vent in the form of an angry outburst or be more finely tuned to another trigger. ### Frustrations Often children or teens feel frustrated with the world. Their lack of control in their lives can cause this, and they may direct their outbursts at siblings, parents, or teachers. ### Disappointment If a child or adolescent has been let down in a situation, the hurt they may be feeling can easily be transferred into aggression as a way of voicing their emotion. ### Resentment Broken promises or unmet expectations can build resentment and aggression in children and adolescents. ### Abuse Physical or verbal abuse and violence of any kind can cause the generalised alarm response and lead to anger. ### Bullying If a child is being bullied they may hide anger from the bully and internalize their feelings, then vent with parents or siblings. It might not be obvious to them that it has been held and transferred, or they may be hiding the fact they are being bullied, in either case they won’t communicate the cause of their aggression. ### Injustice or unfairness Children and adolescents often possess a highly sensitive moral compass and can become very angry if they perceive an injustice done to them or someone else. This anger can also arise from being lied to or misled. ### Trauma Traumatic life events can cause instant or delayed anger in children and adolescents. They may not be able to process what is happening for them at the time but be very angry later on. It isn’t always possible to limit or prevent the aggression triggers shown above. Arm your child or teen with the coping mechanisms to deal with whatever life throws at them. Getting help from a psychologist can be the fastest way to learning these skills. If you find that your child or adolescent are getting uncontrollably angry, our psychologists can teach them techniques for managing those feelings in order to avoid nasty, belligerent confrontations. Individual counselling sessions are available to assist you in anger management. **Call for an appointment today (03) 9809 1000** --- ### [Finding the Right Psychologist in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/finding-the-right-psychologist-in-melbourne/) **Published:** November 15, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## HOME ## Finding the Right Psychologist in Melbourne Navigating the world of mental health can be daunting. Especially when you’re seeking professional help for the first time. Finding the **right psychologist in Melbourne**, Australia, is a crucial step. It’s about more than just finding a qualified professional. You need someone who understands your unique needs. Someone who can guide you through your mental health journey with empathy and expertise. This guide aims to simplify that process. It will provide you with the necessary tools to find a psychologist that fits your needs.Whether you’re seeking help for yourself or a loved one, this guide will be your compass. It will help you navigate the search process, understand what to expect from therapy, and ultimately, find the right psychologist in Melbourne.Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength. And you’re already taking the first step.## **Understanding the Role of a Psychologist** Psychologists play a crucial role in mental health care. They provide support and guidance to individuals dealing with various psychological issues.A psychologist’s main task is to assess and diagnose mental health problems. This involves using various techniques and therapeutic approaches tailored to individual needs.In therapy sessions, psychologists help patients understand and cope with their emotions. They offer insights and strategies to manage stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.By building a trusting relationship with their clients, psychologists foster an environment for open communication. This openness is key in promoting better mental health and personal growth.## **The Importance of Mental Health and Professional Support** Mental health is as important as physical health. It affects how we think, feel, and interact with others. Seeking professional support can be a crucial step in maintaining mental well-being.Working with a mental health professional offers numerous benefits:- Access to expert advice and tailored therapeutic strategies. - A safe space to express thoughts and emotions. - Support in building coping mechanisms and resilience. Many people hesitate to seek help due to stigma or fear. Remember, prioritizing mental health can lead to improved quality of life and relationships. Professional support is key in navigating life’s challenges effectively.## **Types of Psychologists: Clinical, Counselling, and More** When seeking support, it’s vital to understand the types of psychologists available. Different types offer varied expertise and approaches. This helps cater to specific mental health needs effectively.Here are common types of psychologists:- **Clinical Psychologists**: Focus on diagnosing and treating mental illnesses. - **Counselling Psychologists**: Provide support through life transitions and relationship concerns. - **Educational Psychologists**: Specialize in learning-related issues and developmental support. Knowing the distinctions helps in making informed choices. It’s easier to align your needs with the appropriate professional. Whether it’s dealing with anxiety or needing career guidance, understanding the type of psychologist matters.## **Steps to Finding the Right Psychologist in Melbourne** Finding the right psychologist can be a rewarding journey. Begin by identifying what you want to achieve from therapy. Are you dealing with anxiety or looking for better relationship dynamics?Once your needs are clear, start researching psychologists in Melbourne. Use online directories and professional associations as valuable resources. Check if their specialization aligns with your goals. Consider their location and availability to ensure convenience for regular sessions. Taking these steps can guide you to a professional who meets both your logistical and emotional requirements.## **Factors to Consider When Choosing a Psychologist** Selecting the right psychologist involves several crucial considerations. Qualifications and experience top the list. Ensure the psychologist holds the necessary credentials and has substantial experience in their field. Look for a professional registered with a regulatory body like the AHPRA.Specialization is another key factor. Psychologists often focus on specific issues, such as anxiety, depression, or relationship counseling. Choose someone whose expertise matches your needs. Understanding their therapeutic approach can also be beneficial. Do they use cognitive-behavioral therapy or another method?Lastly, consider practicalities such as logistics, cost, and personal comfort. Here are some points to weigh:- Location and office hours - Availability for sessions - Gender preference - Cultural competence and understanding - Session cost and insurance coverage These aspects significantly affect your therapy experience. Ensuring you are comfortable with your psychologist is essential for effective treatment and progress.## **Verifying Credentials and Registration** Checking a psychologist’s credentials is a critical step. In Australia, the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA) maintains a registry of licensed professionals. This resource can help confirm that a psychologist is legally authorized to practice. Always ensure their registration is current and their qualifications meet your expectations.## **Therapeutic Approaches and Specialisations** Psychologists use different therapeutic approaches to suit diverse needs. Understanding thesecan enhance your therapy journey. Common methods include cognitive-behavioural therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and interpersonal therapy.Each approach offers unique benefits. Cognitive-behavioural therapy focuses on altering thought patterns. Psychodynamic therapy explores deep-seated emotional issues. Interpersonal therapy addresses relationship dynamics.- **Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT):** Focuses on changing negative thinking patterns. - **Psychodynamic therapy:** Explores deep-rooted emotional issues. - **Interpersonal therapy (IPT):** Concentrates on relationship dynamics. Select a psychologist whose specialisation aligns with your needs, such as anxiety, depression, or relationship issues. This alignment ensures you receive targeted support.## **Narrowing Down Your Search: Location, Availability, and Preferences** When searching for a psychologist in Melbourne, location is a major consideration. Choose someone nearby to make attending sessions easier. Proximity can reduce stress and save time.Availability is another key factor. Ensure the psychologist can accommodate your schedule. Check if they offer appointments during evenings or weekends. Flexibility can facilitate regular attendance.Your personal preferences also matter. Some individuals prefer a psychologist of a specific gender or age group. Establishing a connection is essential for effective therapy. Feeling comfortable with your psychologist is crucial for progress.## **Preparing for the Initial Consultation: Questions to Ask** Before your first consultation, prepare a list of questions. Inquire about the psychologist’s experience and therapy style. Ask what goals they set during therapy and how progress is measured. This preparation can help decide if the psychologist is right for you, ensuring an informed choice is made.## **The Role of Personal Recommendations and Online Directories** Personal recommendations from friends or family can be invaluable when searching for a psychologist. They often provide insights based on real experiences. Additionally, online directories, such as those provided by professional associations, offer a wide array of options. These resources can guide you towards licensed and reputable psychologists in your area, ensuring that you have access to verified professionals.## **Cost Considerations: Insurance, Medicare, and Session Length** Cost is a crucial factor when selecting a psychologist. Check if they accept your insurance or offer Medicare rebates. Consider the session length, which can vary, impacting the overall cost. Understanding these details helps you plan financially for your mental health journey.## **Telehealth Services and Online Therapy Options** In recent times, telehealth has become a popular choice for therapy. Online sessions offer flexibility and convenience, especially for those with busy schedules or mobility issues. It allows you to access support from the comfort of your home, expanding your options for finding the right psychologist in Melbourne.## **Assessing the Fit: What to Look for After a Few Sessions** It’s crucial to evaluate how you feel after a few sessions. Consider if the psychologist makes you feel comfortable and heard. Notice if the approach aligns with your needs and therapy goals. Trust your instincts; feeling at ease and understood is vital for effective therapy.## **Changing Psychologists and the Importance of Comfort** It’s okay to change psychologists if you’re not comfortable. Feeling at ease is crucial for progress in therapy. Don’t hesitate to switch professionals if your current sessions aren’t meeting your expectations. Remember, the right fit is key to effective mental health support.## **Conclusion: Taking the First Step Towards Better Mental Health** Finding the right psychologist in Melbourne can transform your mental well-being. Take that first step by exploring your options and reaching out. Embrace the journey to a healthier mind and life. Each step brings you closer to support and personal growth. --- ### [DASS 21](https://thethreeseas.com.au/dass-21-2/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # DASS 21 ## HOME ## DASS 21 ### Assessment: DASS-21 - The DASS is a clinical assessment that measures the three related states of depression, anxiety and stress. there are no right or wrong answers; please do not spend too much time on each statement. The following 21 questions will take about 3 minutes to complete. - The rating scale is as follows: - 0: Did not apply to me at all - 1: Applied to me to some degree, or some of the time - 2: Applied to me to a considerable degree, or a good part of time - 3: Applied to me very much, or most of the time - - Name\* First Last - - 1. I found it hard to wind down - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 2. I was aware of dryness of my mouth - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 3. I couldn't seem to experience any positive feeling at all - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4. I experienced breathing difficulty (e.g., excessively rapid breathing, breathlessness in the absence of physical exertion) - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 5. I found it difficult to work up the initiative to do things - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 6. I tended to over-react to situations - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 7. I experienced trembling (e.g., in the hands) - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 8. I felt that I was using a lot of nervous energy - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 9. I was worried about situations in which I might panic and make a fool of myself - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 10. I felt that I had nothing to look forward to - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 11. I found myself getting agitated - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 12. I found it difficult to relax - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 13. I felt down-hearted and blue - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 14. I was intolerant of anything that kept me from getting on with what I was doing - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 15. I felt I was close to panic - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 16. I was unable to become enthusiastic about anything - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 17. I felt I wasn't worth much as a person - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 18. I felt that I was rather touchy - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 19. I was aware of the action of my heart in the absence of physical exertion (e.g., sense of heart rate increase, heart missing a beat) - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 20. I felt scared without any good reason - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 21. I felt that life was meaningless - 0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - This field is hidden when viewing the form Depression Normal ( 0-4 ) Mild ( 5-6 ) Moderate ( 7-10 ) Severe ( 11-13 ) Extremely severe ( 14+ ) - This field is hidden when viewing the form Anxiety Normal ( 0-3 ) Mild ( 4-5 ) Moderate ( 6-7 ) Severe ( 8-9 ) Extremely severe ( 10+ ) - This field is hidden when viewing the form Anxiety: Normal Normal ( 0-3 ) Mild ( 4-5 ) Moderate ( 6-7 ) Severe ( 8-9 ) Extremely severe ( 10+ ) - This field is hidden when viewing the form Stress Normal ( 0-7 ) Mild ( 8-9 ) Moderate ( 10-12 ) Severe ( 13-16 ) Extremely severe ( 17+ ) Submit Δ --- ### [Psychology Melbourne City](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # Psychology Melbourne City ## HOME ## Psychology Melbourne City ## The Three Seas Psychology, Melbourne City Level 11 118 Queen Street Melbourne VIC 3000, Australia ## Contact Us Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Mon-Fri: 8am to 9 pm Sat: 9am to 5pm --- ### [Free Mental Health Resources](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources/) **Published:** December 4, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # Free Mental Health Resources ## RESOURCES ## Free Mental Health Resources At The Three Seas, we understand that mental health is a crucial part of overall well-being. That’s why we’ve created free mental health resources for anyone who needs them. We believe that mental health care should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their financial situation, and we’re committed to providing resources that can help people take care of their mental health. Our free mental health resources include a variety of tools that can help individuals manage stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. These tools include guided meditations, self-care tips, coping strategies, and more. We believe that everyone deserves access to quality mental health care, and we’re proud to offer these resources to our community. ![Free Mental Health Resources](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Picture1.webp) ## “By investing in mental health, we are investing in people’s well-being and productivity. It’s time to bring mental health out of the shadows and into the light.” – Vikram Patel Unlock the transformative power of the vagus nerve with The Three Seas’ journal prompts. Designed to help you tap into your body’s natural healing abilities, these prompts guide you through exercises that soothe your nervous system and promote overall well-being. Discover a deeper connection to yourself and unlock your potential for healing. Download now and start your journey to a healthier you. Take a moment to prioritize your well-being with The Three Seas’ 6-minute guided meditation. Our meditation encourages you to connect with your body and calm your nervous system, leaving you feeling grounded and at peace. This guided meditation is accessible to all, and the perfect tool for busy schedules. Download now and experience the power of mindfulness for yourself. ![The Three Seas Image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Untitled-design-12.webp) ![The Three Seas Counselor](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Untitled-design-11.webp) ## Fill out the form to access the journal prompts and meditation --- ### [Psychology Northcote](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-northcote/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # Psychology Northcote ## HOME ## Psychology Northcote ## The Three Seas Psychology Northcote has moved to Fitzroy North. ## Contact Us Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Mon-Fri: 8am to 9 pm Sat: 9am to 5pm --- ### [Psychology Westfield Knox](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us-2/psychology-westfield-knox/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # Psychology Westfield Knox ## HOME ## Psychology Westfield Knox ## The Three Seas Psychology, Westfield Knox, Victoria For those looking for a psychologist in Wantirna or nearby suburbs, you can find us at Level 5, Suite 503, Westfield Knox, 425 Burwood Highway. Our entrance is conveniently located within the Westfield complex, making access simple and stress-free for all visitors. Level 5, Suite 503 425 Burwood Hwy, Wantirna South VIC 3152 Australia ## Contact Us Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Mon-Fri: 8am to 8pm Sat: 9am to 5pm ![Psychology Westfield Knox](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/TrueLocal.webp "Psychology Westfield Knox - The Three Seas Psychology") --- ### [Call Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-bulk-billed/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # Call Us ## HOME ## Call Us Unfortunately, Bulk Billed appointments and our low cost services are not available within our Online Booking system. If you are interested in our bulk billing services, low cost services, or concession rates, please call us on 9809 1000 and our Client Connect Team will be able to assist you further with finding a suitable psychologist for you. [ Call Now ](tel:0398091000) --- ### [Psychologist Profiling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/pp/) **Published:** May 11, 2018 **Author:** Robert **Content:** # Psychologist Profiling ## HOME ## Psychologist Profiling - Name\* First Last - Date of Birth\* Please provide your date of birth so CCT can accurately respond when prompted by clients and/or third party payment streams (eg. Medicare). - What locations will you be working at?\* - Richmond - City - Knox - Fitzroy North - Registration\* - General - Clinical - Provisional - Counsellor - When is your first day at The Three Seas Group?\* - Areas Of Interest | Presenting Issues\*Please specify which presenting issues you are comfortable working with. Please be aware that CCT and online bookings are dependant on your selections, so please be sure to select the appropriate options to reflect your preferred practice. If you work in a very specific area, or your specialisations are not listed, there is an option to add other areas of interest at the bottom of the list. There is no limit to how many you can select (the more the better) - Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) - Addiction (Alcohol) - Addiction (Drugs) - Addiction (Gambling) - Addiction (Gaming / Computer) - Addiction (Porn) - Addiction (Sex) - ADHD (child) - ADHD (Adult) - Adjustment disorder - Anger - Antenatal anxiety/depression - Antisocial Personality Disorder - Anxiety/ Panic attacks - Assertiveness - Attachment Disorder - Autism/ Aspegers - Avoidant Personality Disorder - Bipolar - Body Dysmorphia - Borderline Personality Disorder - Career Counselling - Dependent Personality Disorder - Depression - Dissociative Disorders - Domestic Violence - Eating Disorders - Gender Dysphoria - General wellbeing - Grief/ Loss - Health (general) - Health (chronic, diabetes, MS, etc) - Histrionic Personality Disorder - HIV, Cancer, End of Life (terminal illness) - Infertility - Learning Disability - LGBTQIA+ - Life Coaching - Migrants/Refugees, Post disaster/Conflict survivors - Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) - Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - Paranoid Personality Disorder - Parenting - Phobias - Postnatal Depression - Pregnancy Support - Psychosis - PTSD - Relationships Individuals - Schizoid Personality Disorder - Schizophrenia - Schizotypal Personality Disorder - Self-esteem - Self Harm - Sexual Abuse - Sexuality - Sleep disorder - Sports - Stress - Transition - Trauma - Weight loss - Area of interest not listed above? — Please add below (remember; these selections are what informs CCT and online bookings, so please be sure to add your description broadly. - Therapeutic Approach(es)\* - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - Art Therapy - Bowen Family Systems - Business Coaching - Christian Counselling - Circle of Security - Coaching - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) - Dyadic-Parent-Infant Relationship Therapy - Early Start Denver Model - Emotion focused Therapy - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) - Family Therapy - Feminist Therapy - Hypnotherapy - Interpersonal Therapy - Mediation - Mindfulness - Motivational Interviewing - Narrative Therapy - Neuropsychotherapy - Person Centred Therapy (Rogerian) - Play therapy - Positive Psychology - Psycho - analytic - Psycho dynamic - Radical Exposure Tapping - Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) - Sand Play Therapy (16+) - Schema Therapy - Sex Therapy - Solution-Focused Therapy Select all therapeutic approaches you are familiar with and integrate into your therapy sessions. Again, if you work in an area that is not listed you can add other selections at the bottom of the list. - Therapeutic Approach not listed above? — Please add below (remember; these selections are what informs CCT and online bookings, so please be sure to add your description broadly. - Third Party Claiming\* - Bulk Billing - Concession - Employee Assistance (EAP) - Medicare (Pregnancy Support) - NDIS - TAC - Veterans Affairs (DVA) - VOCAT - WorkCover - None Please specify if you are willing to accept clients with third party funding including Medicare and Private Health. Please note : Medicare claiming for Pregnancy Support requires specific training and registration (please only select this if you qualify). - Client Groups\* - Infant (0 - 3 yrs) - Early Childhood (4 - 8 yrs) - Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) - Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs) - Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) - Adult (18 +) - Adult (21 +) - Couple - Family Select the client groups you are comfortable working with - Reporting / Assessments\* - ADHD screening - Assessment (Cognitive psychometric) - Assessment (general report) - Autism screening - Autism (ASD) full assessment 18+ years - Court reports - Forensic general report/risk assessment - Immigration report - University (fit for study) report - WISC (6yrs - 16yrs 11 months) - WPPSI (2yrs 6 months - 7 yrs 7 months) - None of the above Please select the services you are willing to offer. - Are you willing to take on same day bookings (new clients)?\* - Yes - No If you select 'No' you will not receive any last minute new client bookings (ie, within 24 hours). - ## Professional Biography We require a simple bio for use on the website and for marketing literature. Please write your bio with the following in mind : people want to engage with a person as a psychologist, not just a set of qualifications. - ## Extra Tips Be relevant. This bio is aimed at clients not at your peers. Think about the therapeutic approach you provide; the clients you see and how you would address them. Keep it short and simple and avoid complex industry jargon. Use 3rd person tense only. Talk about yourself objectively. E.g. “I have worked for many years in the private sector and I specialise in child psychology.” Becomes “Sarah worked for many years in the private sector and she specialises in child psychology.” Please also advise the year that you received full registration as a psychologist. - Biography\* Please write your biography here. - Bullet Points\* Six bullet points are featured on the website to compliment your biography. They provide (new) clients with a quick overview of some of your areas of interest, which could include: presenting issues, client groups, or additional services you provide. For example: 1. Anxiety/Panic 2. Gambling addictions 3. Trauma 4. Relationships (individual) 5. Couples counselling 6. Court reports Submit Δ --- ### [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne-2/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne ## SERVICES # Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne Discover how changing your thoughts can enhance your mental health through CBT therapy in Melbourne. The power lies in your thoughts when it comes to improving mental well-being. If you consult with a Melbourne based CBT therapist, you’ll likely receive this message. Let’s explore the ABCs of CBT, empowering you to make informed decisions about accessing mental health services. ## What Is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? ![The Three Seas Green and Pink](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Green-and-Pink_I-1024x1024.webp "The Three Seas Green and Pink - The Three Seas Psychology") The main goal of CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) is to train clients to identify their own unhelpful thinking patterns, which empowers them to take control of their emotional lives and any unhealthy behaviours that they might be engaging in. CBT practitioners see you, the client, as the expert of your own psychological world. In other words, rather than making you dependent on someone else, CBT trains you to become your own therapist. With a little bit of guidance and support from a psychologist, we can all develop the tools to effect positive change in our lives. ## Is CBT Effective? Are you wondering about the effectiveness of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? In Melbourne, our psychologists embrace CBT as a leading therapeutic approach, aligning with the preferences of clients seeking practical and results-driven interventions. CBT has gained immense popularity in recent years, endorsed not only by therapists but also recognized by national health organizations like the NHS and Medicare globally. What makes CBT stand out is its strong scientific foundation, supported by a robust body of evidence showcasing its success in treating a diverse range of conditions. For those in Melbourne seeking impactful therapy, CBT offers a distinct advantage with its relatively short-term nature. Treatment durations typically range from 5 to 20 sessions, making it an appealing choice for individuals looking to optimize their time and resources compared to other therapeutic methods. On the other hand, our present-focused CBT psychologists may be suited to individuals who prefer to focus on their challenges in the here-and-now, rather than spending too much time discussing the past. Furthermore, the underlying philosophy of CBT, which we discuss below, makes sense to many people because it is straightforward, practical, logical and easy to understand. ## How Does CBT Work? CBT practitioners believe that psychological problems are most often caused and maintained by the unhelpful thoughts that we carry about ourselves, the world and the things that happen to us. Let’s take a look at this hypothetical example to get a deeper understanding of how CBT works. Jenny lives in Sydney, and Karen lives in Melbourne. Both women have just gone through a difficult break-up. How do they respond? Jenny is shattered. She locks herself in her flat and spends the next week binge-eating, crying and feeling miserable. She stops socializing and tells herself that she is finished with dating because she’ll never find true love. Karen also feels incredibly sad, but she responds a bit differently. To cheer herself up, she goes out for a healthy meal and some laughs with her friends. She knows that she has been hurt but she decides that after taking some time to pamper herself, she’s going to get back into dating and find the right person for her. How is it possible that two people responded so differently to the same event? Karen was able to adopt a helpful way of thinking about the situation. By contrast, Jenny interpreted the break-up in a less helpful way. While Jenny’s way of thinking caused her to feel emotionally dejected, Karen’s thought process allowed her to feel a bit more hopeful and to behave in a way which further improved her mood. So, what does this tell us? Our ways of responding to situations are not a result of those *situations*, but rather of how we *interpret* those situations. This is the central idea of CBT: that by changing how we think, we can change our emotions and behaviours. ## CBT for Depression and Anxiety Disorders Clinical depression and anxiety disorders (including panic disorder, phobias, generalized anxiety and social anxiety) are among the most common and debilitating psychological problems around. In [Australia](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/mental-health/national-survey-mental-health-and-wellbeing-summary-results/latest-release), approximately one million adults are likely to have depression in any single year; whilst more than two million have anxiety disorders! The Royal College of Psychiatrists considers CBT “one of the most effective treatments for conditions where anxiety or depression is the main problem.” CBT is particularly helpful here because people with these conditions are more likely than other people to have what [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) call ‘cognitive distortions’. These are problematic and inaccurate thinking patterns which get people stuck into a vicious cycle of emotional distress leading to maladaptive thoughts. These thoughts then lead to even more emotional distress. But there’s the good news: [research ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15809409)shows that when it comes to depressive disorders, CBT is at least as effective than other forms of talk therapy. How does it compare to medication? CBT has been shown to be equally effective – and sometimes more effective – than taking antidepressants. For people who don’t respond to medication or therapy alone, combining the two can prove to be an incredibly efficient way of treating depression! What about anxiety disorders? The picture is much the same: [research](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4610618/) shows that CBT is an incredibly effective tool for managing a variety of anxiety disorders; and CBT is more effective than medication in the case of certain conditions, such as [social anxiety disorder](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(14)70329-3/fulltext). ## Who Can Benefit From CBT? CBT has been used as an effective treatment strategy for a huge range of psychological conditions. These include [bipolar disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bipolar-disorder-treatment/), [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/), PTSD, [eating disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/body-image-issues/), personality disorders, [panic disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks/) and [substance use disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/drug-addiction/). In addition, CBT has also been used as a way of assisting people who struggle with low self-esteem and anger. It can even assist with chronic health conditions such as diabetes, chronic pain and chronic fatigue. In summary, research consistently supports CBT as highly effective for various psychological disorders. Even without a referral, CBT can benefit anyone seeking greater control over behaviours and emotions. ## How Will CBT Help Me? Curious about how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can benefit you? In Melbourne, our experienced therapists offer a transformative journey where you collaborate to set personalised therapy goals, addressing psychological disorders and life challenges. Your therapist will train you to identify, challenge, and change problematic thinking patterns contributing to your psychological difficulties. You will learn first-hand how shifting your thoughts can help you shift your unhealthy behaviours and unpleasant feelings. You will also learn practical strategies for increasing the behaviours that make it easier to cope with the challenges. ## Where To From Here? CBT has clearly proved itself to be an effective treatment strategy. Research has shown this time and again. But is CBT for everyone? One thing to consider is that CBT relies on you making a commitment to the therapeutic process. The client plays an active a role and this can be hard work! But putting in this effort will only benefit you and is ultimately what makes CBT so empowering. Our recommendation is to explore CBT only under the guidance of a trained and experienced therapist. So, if you’re looking to achieve greater control over your mental well-being, don’t deliberate! Many of our Psychologists at The Three Seas use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to treat various mental health conditions such as [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/), [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/), low self-esteem, grief, [body image issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/body-image-issues/), and [phobias. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/phobia/)Each of our Melbourne-based CBT psychologists have extensive training and experience. **Call to speak to our Client Connect Team who will match you with a suitable CBT psychologist (03) 9809 1000** ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [EAP — Information for Employers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program-eap-information-employers/) **Published:** December 7, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## EAP — Information for Employers ## SERVICES ## EMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM # EAP — Information for Employers ![EAP The Three Seas Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/EAP--WEB-page-1024x548-1-720x385.webp "EAP--WEB-page-1024x548 1 - The Three Seas Psychology") Employee Assistance Programs, or EAPs with The Three Seas are not limited to short term counselling (reactive intervention). We also offer a variety of services that are proactive and which aim to improve organisational health and well-being before the problems arise via thorough workplace well-being assessments, tailored intervention programming with psycho-education, workshops, leadership coaching and 360 degree feedback/evaluations. ## Benefits for Employers The benefits of EAP’s for employers are broad. Three levels of value (short term and long term Return on Investment) have been identified. The three levels of value build on each other and include: 1. *Workplace Performance Value* – Savings from employee productivity, absence and other human capital areas such as workers compensation claims (e.g., due to high job engagement, job satisfaction, positive perceptions of the organization and reduced intention to quit). 2. *Benefit Cost Value* – Savings from health care, disability and other employee benefits. 3. *Organisational Value* – Savings from risk management and improved organisational development (staff morale, staff retention and recruitment). ## External versus Internal EAP In most cases, employers contract with an external third party (e.g., The Three Seas Psychology Group) to deliver and manage the EAP rather than providing the service in-house (e.g., via HR or a well-being unit). This arrangement is usually preferred for a variety of reasons. These include: - Employees feel more comfortable going outside of their workplace setting to seek and deal with personal problems. - Confidentiality is easily assured. - Reduced likelihood of exposure (e.g., from colleagues) when accessing the EAP services. - Reduced likelihood of dual relationships (e.g., your work colleague that you see in the staff room is also your treating[ psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/)). ## EAP contracts with The Three Seas At The Three Seas, we pride ourselves on providing immediate and accessible psychological services. We offer appointments in all of our three locations across Melbourne: CBD, Richmond, Fitzroy North and Knox. We also offer on-site services for employees who are unable to access our practice sites. Our psychologists are available in both normal office hours and after-hours and Monday to Saturday 8.30am-8.30pm, Saturdays 9am-5pm. We have same day appointments available and no longer than 48 hours of calling the practice would an employee need to wait to see one of our psychologists. Employees can call our practice directly to make an appointment and they can be assured that their anonymity and confidentiality is maintained, We provide monthly reports to employers (using de-identified information) so that employers are able to monitor the effectiveness of the program and the types of issues that their employees are facing. Six and twelve monthly evaluations and reviews are provided so that the program can be further tailored to the needs of the organisation. ## Confidentiality and Reports Confidentiality and anonymity is guaranteed. Employees will not be identified in any way to your company. The Three Seas Group will, however, provide monthly or quarterly reports with common trends and recommendations overall in order to assist you in continuing to provide the best culture and working environment for your employees. Elements of this monthly report will only be provided when we can ensure it does not contain identifiable information. Reports include the following types of information: - Most Common Presenting Issues which will include a Percentage Breakdown with descriptions of the variety of client issues being presented. Eg: Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Grief/Loss, Relationships, etc… - A Percentage Breakdown of attendance by males and females and whether the issue was Work Related or Personal. - A total report on the number of sessions being accessed by Employees over each month of the quarter. This will include an end of calendar report of all of this data. - A report with any recommendations submitted to us by our Psychologists, which they deem would be useful for you to be aware of. ## Critical Incident Stress Debriefings (CISD) The Three Seas Group recognizes the importance of planning for, and providing immediate and caring responses to, critical incidents that may impact the workplace. Examples of critical incidents that occur in and/or impact the workplace include the death of an employee or employee’s family member, on-the-job accidents, serious injury, natural disasters, violent acts, robbery, and workforce changes. In the event of a critical incident, managers can immediately consult with the EAP Critical Incident Stress Management team. The team will help the employer to develop a response plan which will often include Critical Incident Stress Debriefings (CISD). CISD’s are on-site group meetings, generally held within 72 hours of the incident, with the goal of allowing employees to express their reactions to the event and to receive guidance on how to move toward recovery. CISD’s have been demonstrated to accelerate the recovery of employees from traumatic events, helping business operations to get back to normal as quickly as possible. ## Professional Development and Management Coaching The Three Seas Group also offer the service of delivering tailor made Professional Development Presentations to suit the requirements of your company, should the need arise. In addition our Group has very highly trained Organisational Psychologists and Business Coaches who are able to deliver exceptionally high standard training and coaching to Management personal, should the need arise. We are currently the external provider for small and several large organisations in Victoria. If you would like to talk to us further about EAP’s with us, please do not hesitate to call us on 9809-1000. We also provide [EAP counselling services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program/). Contact us today for more information. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Child Psychologists in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) **Published:** December 4, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Child Psychologists in Melbourne ## SERVICES # Child Psychologists in Melbourne ## Looking for a Child Psychologist in Melbourne? When deciding on a **Child Psychologist in Melbourne**, it’s important to choose someone who understands child development and approaches their work with care, sensitivity, and kindness. At The Three Seas Psychology, our team is dedicated to getting on your child’s level, using gentle, compassionate techniques to make them feel comfortable and understood. We know that children process emotions differently, and our specialised care is designed to address a range of concerns, from behavioural issues to academic struggles, in a safe and supportive environment tailored to your child’s unique needs. This personalised, compassionate approach highlights the value of working with an **experienced child psychologist**. At The Three Seas, we understand how differently children think and communicate, ensuring our psychologists are highly trained and experienced in child development. With dedicated child psychologists available across all four of our Melbourne locations, we focus on providing expert care that is not only effective but also tailored to your child’s unique needs, supporting them quickly and cost-effectively. ## We can support children with ![Child Psychology Conditions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Child-Psychology-Conditions-2.webp "Child Psychology Conditions-2 - The Three Seas Psychology") FAQs for seeing a Child Psychologist ## When Should My Child See a Child Psychologist? - If your child is experiencing frequent anxiety, emotional outbursts, or difficulties adjusting at school or home, a child psychologist can offer support. Our psychologists use child-friendly techniques to help them express their feelings and work through their struggles in a safe environmen ## What Are the Benefits of Seeing a Child Psychologist? - Children benefit from professional support in many ways. Our psychologists not only help your child develop emotional resilience but also offer parents tailored strategies for managing difficult behaviors and improving communication. We take a child-specific approach, explaining complex issues in a way they can understand, helping them feel safe and supported throughout the process. ## How Do I Choose a Child Psychologist? - Choosing the right psychologist is crucial. At The Three Seas, our psychologists are specialists in child development with extensive experience. We work closely with parents to understand the unique needs of each child and develop a customised treatment plan that fits their situation. ## Will I attend sessions with my child? - In most cases, parents or caregivers may attend initial sessions, particularly for younger children, to provide context and background. The child psychologist may then decide whether future sessions will involve the caregiver or focus solely on the child, depending on the child’s needs. ## Does the caregiver see the child psychologist firs - Yes, it’s common for the psychologist to meet with the caregiver first to gather information and better understand the child’s situation before beginning direct sessions with the child. ## How many sessions will my child need to attend? - The number of sessions varies depending on the child’s needs and progress. Some children may benefit from short-term therapy, while others may require ongoing sessions over several months. ## I’m Looking for a Child Psychologist Near Me, Can You Help? - With four convenient locations across Melbourne and flexible Telehealth options, we make it easy for families to access high-quality child psychology services close to home. Whether you’re looking for in-person sessions or prefer online support, we’re here to help. ## Do you see children with ADHD? - Yes, we provide support for children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). ADHD is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental health conditions among Australian youth and can affect a child’s ability to focus, listen, and sit still. These challenges can impact their social skills, emotional well-being, and academic performance. Early intervention is key to managing symptoms and preventing further difficulties, such as depression or anxiety. We also support children with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), which involves attention difficulties without hyperactivity. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Psychology Services Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne/) **Published:** December 3, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Psychology Services Melbourne ## SERVICES # Psychology Services Melbourne Our team of Melbourne [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) at The Three Seas, offer counselling services for individuals, couples, and families. We have specialists in the fields of: - [ Individual Therapy ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling-faqs/) - [ Anger Management ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) - [ Couples Counselling ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/) - [ Child Psychology ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) - [ Cognitive Assessments ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/) - [ Life Coaching ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/life-coaching/) - [ Counselling ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-is-the-difference-between-counsellors-and-psychologists/) We deliver authentic client centered care and offer a wholistic approach to mental health and wellbeing. ## Counselling Services: - ADHD Assessment & Treatment - Marriage Counselling - Anger Management - [ Child Psychology ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) - [ Autism (ASD Assessments) ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-assessments-melbourne/) - [ Bipolar Disorder ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/life-coaching/) - [ Depression ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne-2-2/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/) - [ Eating Disorders ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anorexia/) - Grief - Life Changes - Stress and Trauma - [ Sex Addiction ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-addiction-counselling-in-melbourne/) Our range of Melbourne counselling services and psychology are available at any of our 4 practices: City (CBD), Inner Eastern (Richmond), Northside (Fitzroy North) and Southeastern (Knox). - 40+ Psychologists Team. - 4 Melbourne Locations. - Male/Female Psychologists. - Family, Couples-oriented therapy. - Fully registered AHPRA. - Medicare Rebates / Bulk Billing (conditions apply). - [ Low-cost counselling. ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/low-cost-counselling-melbourne/) - Open Late 6 Days/Week. - After Hours appointments available. - Genuine Warmth & Care Looking for a psychologist in Melbourne? Read our guide on how to find the right psychologist in your area, [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/finding-the-right-psychologist-in-your-area/). Curious about how we match you with a psychologist? Read our guide [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/match-with-a-psychologist-at-the-three-seas-psychology/). ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Meet Our Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) **Published:** October 22, 2014 **Author:** Robert --- ### [Life Coaching](https://thethreeseas.com.au/life-coaching/) **Published:** February 4, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Comparing Life Coaching and Therapy in Melbourne – What’s Right for You? Thinking about life coaching, but not sure how it differs from therapy? You’re not alone. It’s a common question we hear at The Three Seas—especially from people who know they want support, but aren’t quite sure what kind. Both life coaching and therapy can help you make meaningful changes, but they offer different types of support. Understanding the difference can help you choose the path that’s best suited to where you’re at right now. ## **What is Therapy?** Therapy, or counselling, is a space to explore what’s going on beneath the surface. It’s focused on helping you understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours—often by unpacking experiences from your past. At The Three Seas, our therapists support individuals, couples and families through a wide range of challenges. Whether you’re working through anxiety, relationship issues, grief, or low self-worth, therapy gives you the tools to navigate life with more clarity and confidence. **Therapy is ideal for you if you want to:** - Understand and shift unhelpful patterns - Process difficult life events or past trauma - Improve your emotional wellbeing and mental health - Build stronger relationships or communication skills Rather than giving advice, therapists work collaboratively with you—guiding you towards insight and change at your own pace. ## **What is Life Coaching?** Life coaching is about taking action. It’s future-focused, practical, and goal-oriented. If you’re feeling stuck, unsure about your direction, or want to level up in a particular area of life, a coach can help you get clear, create a plan, and stay on track. It’s not about therapy or diagnosis—it’s about progress. **People often come to life coaching when they want to:** - Set and achieve personal or professional goals - Build motivation, focus and accountability - Improve confidence and decision-making - Navigate life transitions or career changes Life coaching works well when you’re ready to take action, but need structure, support, or a fresh perspective. ### Not Sure Which One You Need? Here’s a quick guide to help you decide: Therapy might be best if you’re…Coaching might be better if you’re…Struggling with your mental health or emotional wellbeingFeeling stuck and wanting to move forwardProcessing past experiences or traumaReady to set goals and take actionDealing with anxiety, depression, or relationship issuesWanting support with clarity, confidence or motivationUnsure why you’re feeling overwhelmed or reactiveFocused on performance, growth or productivity### When Therapy Should Come First Life coaching is a great tool—but it isn’t the right fit for everything. If you’re dealing with deeper emotional distress or mental health concerns, it’s important to speak with a registered therapist first. **We recommend starting with therapy if you’re experiencing:** - Ongoing low mood, anxiety or emotional overwhelm - A history of trauma, abuse, or addiction - Thoughts of self-harm or hurting others - Behaviour that feels out of your control - Symptoms of a mental health condition ### Let’s Help You Find the Right Fit You don’t need to figure it out alone. Our warm and experienced **Client Connect Team** is here to listen, talk through your needs, and help match you with the right support—whether that’s a coach, a therapist, or someone who offers both. We offer life coaching and therapy services both **in-person across Melbourne** and **online via [telehealth](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/ "Telehealth and Telephone Counselling")**—so you can access support from wherever you are. 📞 **Call us today** or [**reach out online**](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/ "Contact Us") and let’s find the right next step together. ## Take a Step Toward the Life You Want Whether you’re ready to get clear on your goals or work through what’s holding you back, we’re here to help. At The Three Seas, we believe everyone deserves the chance to grow, heal, and thrive—with the right support behind them. ✅ *Enquire about life coaching today* ✅ *Explore therapy options if you’re looking for emotional support or mental health care* --- ### [The Three Seas Group Fee Structures](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-three-seas-group-fee-structures/) **Published:** November 27, 2019 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** At The Three Seas Group we value our position as pre-eminent healthcare providers and put in our best efforts to make our services affordable for everyone. With almost half of Australians suffering from mental health issues throughout their lifetime, only 54% of these Australians access treatment. Cost can be a major barrier in enabling access to psychological services, universally. Therefore, we offer a range of services at different costs to ensure all our clients are equal in their opportunities for treatment. --- Provisional PsychologistFeeMedicare RebateOut-of-pocket1 hr Consultation$85 – $170\* \*concession rates available for those with a government-issued health care or concession cardNot applicable$85 – $170\* \*concession rates available for those with a government-issued health care or concession card --- For more information about what a provisional psychologist can offer, please refer to our page on [low cost counselling.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) Please also not that provisionally registered psychologists are still undertaking training through a Masters program in Clinical psychology. Although they have studied for 4-5 years (sometimes more) prior, they do not hold the same level of expertise as general and clinically registered psychologists. --- CounsellorFeeMedicare RebateOut-of-pocketRates$135 – $205Not applicable$135 – $205--- General PsychologistFeeMedicare RebateOut-of-pocketRates$240 – $295$96.65$143.35 – $198.35--- Clinical PsychologistFeeMedicare RebateOut-of-pocketRates$285 – $340$141.85$143.35 – $198.35--- Couples / FamiliesFeeMedicare RebateRates$205 – $365*\*please enquire within (03) 9809 1000*--- PsychiatryFeeMedicare RebateOut-of-pocketInitial Consultation$375$237.45$137.55Subsequent appointments$311 – $179$167.55 – $78.85$143.45 – $98.60--- All of our psychologists and psychiatrists are registered with AHPRA and can offer a Medicare rebate under the Better Access Scheme. To be eligible for this rebate, a Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP: from a GP, Psychiatrist, or Pediatrician) is required; however, you can still access psychological services at a full fee rate if you do not wish to seek a MHCP. You may be eligible for a rebate through your Private Health fund (depending on your extras cover); though this cannot be claimed simultaneously with Medicare. For more information about Medicare and rebates, please refer to our [FAQ’s](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq-and-rebates/) on the topic. To make a booking, or if you have further questions, please call our Client Connect Team on (03) 9809 1000. --- ### [Careers With Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/careers-with-us/) **Published:** December 13, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** # Careers with The Three Seas Psychology The Three Seas Group is a well established private practice of Psychologists, Psychiatrists and Counsellors. We offer counselling, coaching and consulting to individuals, [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/), groups and organisations with a wide diversity of presenting issues. We are professional and ethical practitioners who deliver authentic client centred care and quality services to all our clients. Our well designed and integrated administrative processes support our practitioners to deliver client centred care and to maintain a strong therapeutic focus. We are currently recruiting and welcome your application. **Psychologists —** Please email careers@thethreeseas.com.au for more information. **Psychiatrists —**We are seeking expressions of interest for psychiatrists with an interest in private practice. If you would like to discuss the role in more detail please contact Robert van de Berg (9809 1000) or email careers@thethreeseas.com.au. **Provisional Psychologists —** Applications for a 5+1 placement in 2025 are now closed. **Administrative / Reception —** We do not currently have any vacancies across our locations. **Work Experience —** Due to the sensitive and confidential nature of our business, we regret that we are unable to offer work experience placements. --- ### [Low Cost Counselling Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/low-cost-counselling-melbourne/) **Published:** September 11, 2019 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## **Low-Cost **Counselling Melbourne**** At Three Seas Psychology, our commitment is to the well-being of each individual. We understand that resources may be limited, making it challenging to access affordable therapy, even with available rebates. If you’re facing difficulty with out-of-pocket expenses, including low-cost counselling in Melbourne, our alternative options are here for you. Explore affordable therapy solutions with us, featuring compassionate psychologists near you. ## **Provisional Psychologist Services** Counselling and psychological assessments can be offered by a number of our provisionally registered [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). A provisional psychologist is registered under a ‘provisional’ status, meaning they are in the final stages of their study; undertaking a Masters Program in Psychology/Clinical Psychology and soon to be registered and practicing as a General Psychologist. All our provisional psychologists are under the guidance of Principal Psychologist, Robert van de Berg. Whilst they are yet to be fully qualified psychologists, they have undergone a minimum of 4 years study prior to their placement with The Three Seas Group, and are in regular consultation with a clinical supervisor. They are passionate about providing high quality, empathetic and holistic care. You do not need a referral or a Mental Health Care Plan to access a service with a provisional psychologist. A provisional psychologist can offer the following services: - General counselling for anxiety, depression, stress, career counselling, life coaching, minor sleep concerns, panic attacks, assertiveness, health related issues, relationships concerns, self esteem, and helping to cope with life transition and adjustment. - Assessment based consultations, such as, administration of the WPPSI and Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children (WISC: IQ testing) - Skills based counselling; such as, mindfulness and meditation. - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (to read more about this [click here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne/)) Seeing a provisional psychologist can be great way to get started with counselling and have the skills to work with you, collaboratively, in coming up with effective strategies to help cope with the struggles of life. The costs associated with seeing a provisional psychologist are: General Counselling1 hour sessionSkills Based Sessions$85 – $170AssessmentsEnquire with Us\*Clients who hold a concession card, health care card, pensioners card, or disability card, can access the service at a reduced cost. Please enquire with us on: [(03) 9809 1000](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-existing-customer/) --- ### [Match with a Psychologist at The Three Seas Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/match-with-a-psychologist-at-the-three-seas-psychology/) **Published:** January 30, 2025 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Match with the Right Psychologist for Your Journey At The Three Seas Psychology, we believe that the foundation of successful therapy lies in the connection between you and your therapist. That’s why we’ve developed a tailored psychologist-matching process to ensure you’re paired with someone who truly understands your needs, preferences, and goals. Our matching service is designed to take the guesswork out of finding the right psychologist, empowering you to start your therapeutic journey with confidence and ease. ## Why the Right Match Matters Therapeutic outcomes improve significantly when there’s a strong client-therapist connection. Research shows that trust and rapport are key to a successful therapy experience. At The Three Seas Psychology, we prioritise this connection by offering a personalised matching process that considers: - Your unique concerns and goals. Preferences for therapeutic styles and approaches. Availability that fits your schedule. Gender or cultural preferences, if important to you. We’re here to make sure you feel comfortable, supported, and understood from your very first session. ## How Our Matching Process Works 1\. **Initial Contact** Once you reach out to The Three Seas Psychology, our friendly Client Connect Team will guide you through an intake process designed to understand your needs. You’ll share details such as: - The challenges you’re facing. - Your therapy goals (e.g., improving anxiety, navigating relationship issues, or managing stress). - Any preferences for therapist traits, including gender, cultural background, or therapeutic modality. 2\. **Personalised Recommendations** Using the information provided, our team carefully reviews the profiles of our experienced psychologists. We consider: - Areas of expertise. - Availability for sessions. - Preferred therapeutic methods, such as CBT, schema therapy, or mindfulness-based approaches. 3\. **Confirming Your Match** You’ll receive a recommendation for the psychologist best suited to your needs, along with detailed information about their background and therapeutic style. If you’d like to adjust your match, we’re here to help until you feel confident about your choice. 4\. **Your First Session** Your therapeutic journey begins! Your psychologist will spend your first session learning more about you and setting a foundation for trust, support, and growth. ## What Sets The Three Seas Psychology Apart? - Expertise: All of our psychologists are highly qualified, registered professionals with a wealth of experience in their respective areas. - Personalised Approach: Our matching service is tailored to you, ensuring the best possible start to your therapy journey. - Flexibility: Choose from in-person sessions at our locations or telehealth options, making therapy accessible wherever you are. - Ongoing Support: We’re always here to adjust your match if your needs evolve. ### **Start Your Journey Today** Finding the right psychologist shouldn’t be overwhelming. With The Three Seas Psychology’s matching service, you’re not alone—we’re here to guide you every step of the way. Need more options? Use the filters on our [*Meet the Psychologists*](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Meet Our Psychologists") page to find the best fit for you. **Call us on 03 9809 1000** or [**Book Online**](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) to begin your journey toward improved mental health and well-being. ### **FAQs** **1. What if I don’t feel comfortable with the psychologist I’m matched with?** That’s completely okay! We encourage open communication and can re-match you with another psychologist who better suits your needs. **2. Do I need a referral to use the matching service?** No referral is needed to start. However, if you’d like to claim Medicare rebates, a referral from your GP is required. **3. Can I access the matching service for telehealth sessions?** Absolutely! Our matching service applies to both in-person and telehealth appointments. --- ### [Anxiety in Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-in-children/) **Published:** February 28, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Anxiety in Children ![Anxiety in children ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Anger-Management-Children.jpg) Anxiety in children occurs when it interferes with a child’s ability to live their life. About a quarter of children struggle with anxiety disorders. If your child is plagued by chronic anxiety, it’s easy to feel hopeless, and perhaps even to blame your child for his or her emotions. Anxiety in children is a normal part of life, but an anxiety disorder occurs when anxiety either interferes with your child’s ability to live her life or when the anxiety is not appropriate for the situation. For instance, a child who experiences [panic attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks-in-children/) before going to school might have an anxiety disorder, while a child who gets anxious before a test probably doesn’t. The good news is that anxiety is treatable, and treatment doesn’t always mean putting your child on powerful medication. Counselling can work wonders with even the most anxious of children, and at Three Seas, we specialise in childhood anxiety disorders. Here are five things you need to know if your child struggles with anxiety. ### Family Factors Can Cause Anxiety When one member of your family struggles with anxiety, the entire family suffers. For this reason, we offer both [family](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) and [individual counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) when children struggle with anxiety. [Couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) as a whole is also a good way of addressing [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) in each partner. The right family environment can make a meaningful difference in your ability to handle your child’s emotions. We’ll work with you to help you: - Institute effective discipline that doesn’t cause anxiety. - Talk to your other children about your child’s anxiety. - Explore how your family dynamic might make your child more vulnerable to anxiety. - Address whether any adults in the family are “teaching” their anxiety to your child. Oftentimes, children become anxious because they’ve seen their parents struggle with anxiety. ### Less Self-Control Over His or Her Anxiety When kids are overwhelmed with anxiety, it can look a lot like they have control over their emotions. After all, many anxious kids are able to conceal their feelings around friends, or may not show symptoms at school or during extracurricular activities. Don’t be fooled, though. Anxiety is a biological issue, not something your child is choosing. After all, who would willingly choose to feel miserable and frightened all the time? If it seems like your child’s in control, it’s more likely that your child feels less anxiety in some contexts than in others. By exploring his or her triggers for anxiety, you can more effectively help him or her. ### Diet and Exercise Can Contribute to Anxiety Your body is a lot like a machine. Fill it up with shoddy fuel, and it will quickly malfunction. But offer your child’s body lots of anxiety-fighting nutrients, and their brain will work at optimal capacity. While dietary changes rarely eliminate anxiety altogether, they can make a meaningful difference. And research consistently shows that exercise has the power to undermine both depression and anxiety in children. To get the most benefits, encourage your child to get between 30 and 60 minutes of moderate exercise each day, but don’t push your child; pressuring a child to exercise can have serious negative consequences. If you’re interested in exploring dietary changes, try some of these tips: - Minimize the use of caffeine, refined sugars, and energy drinks. - Encourage your child to drink 8 glasses of water each day. - Ask your doctor about the right multivitamin for your child. - Offer your child lots of fruits, vegetables, dark leafy greens, and lean proteins ### Anxiety Can Harm Health Think your child’s anxiety will fade with time or that chronic stress is no big deal? Think again. Anxiety in children is a serious, and potentially life-threatening, problem. The longer your child’s body is exposed to chronic anxiety, the worse the health consequences will become, but a few of the health effects of anxiety include: Headaches, muscle aches, and chronic pain - Decreased immunity - Increased risk of heart attacks and strokes - Weight gain - Difficulty with attention - High blood pressure - Increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol addiction Your child’s anxiety is undermining his or her health, and the longer such anxiety lasts, the harder it will be to treat. We can help you get the treatment you need for dealing with anxiety in children—and the peace your child deserves—today. ### Anxiety Can Undermine Academic Performance Anxiety in children at school: Testing anxiety can dramatically affect your child’s school performance, and generalized anxiety may undermine your child’s ability to listen, behave in class, or understand what the teacher is saying. Once anxiety undermines a child’s academic performance, that child may feel stigmatized. Worse still, this process can cause a child to stop trying, leading to even more academic problems. You won’t know your child’s full academic potential until you help him or her learn to manage anxiety. The Three Seas knows how painful it can be to manage a child with a mental health problem. ## Anxiety Symptoms And Treatment for Children **Not all children are affected by anxiety in the same way adults are.** However, children can reflect similarities in their anxious behaviours to their parents. This can be in part genetic but also learned by watching their parents. For some children the anxiety was initiated by an overwhelming experience like getting bitten by a dog. Parents can exacerbate it by being overprotective which can have a short-term benefit but can increase the child’s anxiety in the long-term. Children with anxiety often catastrophise or perceive a threat or danger to be far greater than it is. Thinking about the situation makes them worried and tense, so they may work out their own avoidance techniques to deal with the distress. Sometimes this involves getting a parent to deal with it for them. This behaviour means the child won’t learn to cope with everyday stresses at home, at school and in social settings. Seeking help from a fully trained [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can break this cycle. **Anxiety can cause many physical symptoms varying in severity, including:** - hot and cold flushes and sweating; - uncontrollable blushing; - fatigue and exhaustion; - sleeping difficulties; - increased toilet use; - being unable to concentrate; - being restless and easily startled; - recurring headaches, stomach aches, backaches **Full-blown panic attacks are the most severe form of an anxiety reaction and can include:** - heart palpitations; - choking or being unable to talk; - dizziness; - hyperventilation, shortness of breath, or breath holding; - muscle tension; - trembling or shaking; - numbness or ‘pins and needles’ in the limbs; See the [panic attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks/) page for more information including detail on symptoms. **In addition, children and young people experiencing anxiety may display a number of behaviours:** - in young children – clinging to parents; - reassurance seeking; - throwing tantrums; - refusal to go to school; - withdrawal: from friends and family / from activities that were previously enjoyed; - avoidance of particular objects/situations; - perfectionism; - shyness; - negativity and pessimism; - substance abuse; **Speaking with a psychologist can help children to gain techniques for coping with these symptoms of anxiety.** **Call today and make an appointment (03) 9809 1000** \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] --- ### [Anger Management Group Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management-groups/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## If you or someone you know suffers from uncontrollable anger, an anger management groups may provide the support and understanding needed. If you struggle with out of control anger, have harmed loved ones, or worry that rage is taking over your life, one of our [anger management](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) groups may be the perfect solution to your difficulties with anger. **Anger: What’s Normal, What’s Not?** Everyone feels angry from time to time, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with this emotion. Indeed, anger helps you react appropriately to injustice, defend yourself against an attacker, and know when something’s not right in your relationship. For some people, though, anger becomes a way of life. People with anger management issues feel anger above and beyond other emotions, steadily allowing anger to dominate their lives. So what counts as abnormal or unhealthy anger? Some signs that you may have an anger problem include:[![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/old-man-muscles-650x650.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/old-man-muscles.jpg) - Regularly getting into fights or confrontations with strangers - Physically or psychologically assaulting your spouse or children - Being unable to calm down after getting angry - Experiencing physical symptoms of anger, such as shaking, a red face, or sweating - Sudden, unexplained anger that doesn’t seem related to anything in your life - Anger related to a drug or alcohol problem - Being arrested because of anger - Losing an important relationship because of anger - Breaking things when you are angry - Hurting yourself when you are angry - Behaving abusively or aggressively toward animals or pets when angry - Stalking someone - Feeling anger more frequently than other emotions - Feeling anger as a proxy for sadness, frustration, or other unpleasant emotions. **What Causes Anger Management Problems?** Anger is a normal human emotion, not a diagnosis or a mental illness. For some people, though, anger quickly spirals out of control. The more risk factors you have for anger management, the more likely you are to experience anger issues. Men are particularly vulnerable to anger issues. Our society encourages men to behave aggressively, and teaches boys that other emotions – such as jealousy or sadness – are signs of weakness. For some men, then, anger becomes the only “safe” way to express strong emotions. Mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety can also lead to anger, as can a recent loss or trauma. A history of experiencing injustice in the form of sexism or homophobia can also predispose some people to anger. Though anger may be a fair reaction to these challenges, it can also impede your ability to function in healthy, happy ways. Prolonged anger has a markedly deleterious effect on your health and well-being. Anger causes your body to release cortisol, a stress hormone that can cause you to gain weight, increase your vulnerability to a host of diseases, and leave you feeling chronically anxious. In this way, anger tends to perpetuate itself. When you feel angry, you may react in ways that make others angry. This, in conjunction with cortisol, can expose you to even more ire-inducing events, steadily leading to an out-of-control cascade of anxiety and anger. **The Perils of Untreated Anger** Anger tends to justify itself. You might recognise your anger is a problem while simultaneously feeling like it’s totally justified. And maybe it is. Anger is, after all, often a reaction to a very real slight. But when anger escalates out of control, it can destroy lives – even kill. Some of the perils of anger left untreated include: - Losing your most cherished relationships - Isolation and loneliness - Chronic, long-term health problems - Arrest and incarceration - Loss of reputation - Problems at work - Loss of your job - Inability to be productive - Getting into dangerous and potentially lethal fights with strangers - Road rage-induced auto accidents - Serious injuries **What is Anger Management?** Many people seeking help for their anger problem for the first time mistakenly believe that doing so means getting rid of anger altogether. Perhaps that goal feels impossible to you. But anger management doesn’t mean abandoning anger altogether. Instead, anger management allows you to feel anger while keeping your emotions under control. Rather than trying to dissuade you not to feel anger, anger management helps you learn how to deal with feelings of anger when they rear their ugly head. **Why Group Treatment?** Group treatment might seem like a strange option, particularly if you think of therapy as an individual undertaking, not a group exercise. But group treatment can be highly effective at helping you manage your anger. Group treatment offers you a ready-made community of people who face issues similar to your own. This allows you to draw from the experience of people who have been there and who get it. And when you explore your group mates’ experiences, you may understand why anger is such a serious problem. Hearing stories of acquaintances who have been arrested or divorced as a result of anger may be the incentive you need to abandon anger for good. Group treatment offers something more, though. It offers you a real-time chance to practice the skills you learn in group. It’s almost inevitable that a group member will eventually make you angry. When this happens, you have a safe space to put your new skills to work, and to address any lingering challenges. Rather than practicing on people who love you, you practice on people who, like you, are committed to moving past anger. Three Seas can help you move beyond the pain of anger. We’ve seen the pain anger can cause, but we also know that there’s hope for a way out. Let us help you find it. In an anger management groups setting, individuals can talk freely about their experiences and work through with the [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) how the techniques learned in an individual session can be implemented. Topics that are often discussed in a group anger management setting include: - Why people get angry - The difference between healthy and harmful anger - The triggers for anger - The symptoms of an uncontrolled outburst - Tips for coping with anger - The effects of the anger on friends and family - How to change angry behaviours People who have attended anger management groups often find that they work well in unison with the individual sessions. They are a good opportunity to hear from others what has worked for them and to realize that anger isn’t unique. Anger can be controlled and huge improvements can be made on people’s lives. ### Make an appointment today for the next Three Seas anger management group and regain control over your anger (03) 9809 1000 --- ### [Psychology Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Psychology Fitzroy North ## The Three Seas Psychology, Fitzroy North – NOW OPEN. 393-395 St Georges Road Fitzroy North VIC 3068 Australia ## Contact Us Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Opening in 2 September, 2024. --- ### [School and university stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/school-and-university-stress/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## School and university can cause extreme stress for children and adolescents. School and university stress can be driven by many different factors, including but not limited to: pressures to do well, making friendships and fitting in, expectations from parents, teachers or coaches, difficulties in learning and understanding, deadlines, financial pressures and changes in environment. Some stress can help with getting work done, allowing for more focus and more sustained concentration, but too much stress can overwhelm children and adolescents, often interrupting or inhibiting their studies. Stress often has accompanying physical symptoms such as: headaches, stomach aches, butterflies or nausea and exhaustion. If your child has been complaining of any of these symptoms regularly and in relation to school or university events such as starting new classes or exams, they may be under stress. Children and teenagers may find it difficult to recognise and convey when they are experiencing [stress](http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/stress), but it may be demonstrated through changes in their behaviour. Common changes can include: - Moodiness or irritability - Teariness or crying - Withdrawal from long-time friendships for a new set of peers - Withdrawal from activities that used to give them pleasure - Expressing new hostility toward family members and teachers - Seeming worried and anxious - Complaining more than usual about school or college - Displaying surprising fearful reactions - Being clingy to parents or teachers - Sleeping too much or too little - Eating too much or too little - Confiding in peers and avoiding parents If you recognise some or all of the above, you may be a parent of a young person who is suffering with stress. If so, it is best to get help from a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) who is trained in how to treat stress in children and adolescents. They can help your child to recognise their stress and arm them with effective coping strategies for future episodes. ### Call today to make an appointment. --- ### [Choosing a Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choosing-a-psychologist/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Choosing a Psychologist ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Choosing a Psychologist Choosing the right psychologist for you can be challenging. Discover optimal mental health support with our team of expert psychologists in Melbourne at The Three Seas Psychology Group. We have four locations that cover broad geographical areas across Melbourne – City (CBD), Inner Eastern (Richmond) Northside (Northcote) and Southeastern (Knox). Our psychology clinics are not in GP clinics. They are purpose-built for client comfort, confidentiality and easy to find. Choose The Three Seas Psychology Group for trusted psychologists in Melbourne committed to your well-being. Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right psychologists for therapy. Contact them anytime throughout the week: Monday – Friday 8:00am-8:00pm Saturday 8:30am-4:30pm (03) 9809 1000 or via email on clientconnect@thethreeseas.com.au ## How to Find the Right Melbourne Based Psychologist? Finding the right psychologist for you can be tricky. All psychologists bring their own methods, values, and personality to their care, so it’s important to find one that you click with. Similarly, it’s important that the therapist you choose is equipped with the skills to help you. Treatment approaches vary widely, from cognitive behavioural therapy to acceptance and commitment therapy. If the first psychologist you see doesn’t feel right, don’t give up! Trial and error will help you to find a psychologist that allows you to feel seen and heard. Our reception team is happy to discuss the best therapist options for you. You can always provide your psychologist with honest feedback and feel able to ask them about their credentials and registration. ## A Referral Source Can Help Find A Clinical Psychologist When searching for a Melbourne psychologist, your GP’s referral is common but not mandatory. Trust your GP’s recommendations or seek referrals from friends, but consider crucial factors: - Their Mental Health: Choose someone whose mental health improved with a psychologist. - Shared Values: Ensure alignment on aspects like medication views for a suitable match. - Desired Experience: If your friend’s psychologist sounds promising, go ahead; otherwise, explore other options. Remember, you do not have to go to the psychologist your GP refers you to, and you can ask your GP to refer you to a particular provider of your choice. If you prefer, you can find the right service or you can speak to them. Your GP can recommend a psychologist who will have an interest in your mental health and help you with a referral. ## Ask Psychologists About Credentials and Registration It is equally important that your psychologist is registered with a registration board. Unregistered psychologists may have been disciplined or lost their right to practice. Some may even be fakes, pretending to be professional when they have no formal training at all. Some questions you may want to consider asking about credentials include: - Are you registered to practice? - How long have you been registered to practice? - Where did you attend university, and when did you graduate? - Have you ever been disciplined for professional misconduct? ## Choose a Highly Experienced Psychologist Choose a therapist equipped to address your specific challenges. In mental health, there are numerous conditions and treatment options, so prioritize experience in your therapist’s expertise. Opt for evidence-based treatments for effective care. You may consider researching your condition to find out what the preferred treatment approaches are. As an example; eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing therapy ([EMDR](https://thethreeseas.com.au/eye-movement-desensitisation-and-reprocessing-emdr/)), exposure therapy, [cognitive behavioural therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), or [psychoanalytic](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalytic-psychodynamic-therapy/) therapy are all highly effective in treating [PTSD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/), so if this is what you present with, it is wise to choose a therapist familiar with these approaches. Some therapeutic approaches have been discredited, and a few, such as primal scream therapy for example are dangerous. Take a few moments to [Google](https://www.google.com.au/) any specific treatment protocols the therapist mentions. It allows you to assess how well you and your therapist will work together, in addition to affording you the opportunity to ensure that the treatment your therapist wants to use is efficient and safe. Some important questions you need to ask prospective therapists or psychologists about their experience with your unique set of circumstances include: - What is your speciality? - Have you published any books or studies about my condition? - How many clients with challenges like mine have you treated in the past? - Did you complete any university level coursework specific to my mental health difficulties? - What is the most efficient way to treat my condition? - What do you do to stay up to date in your field? - What kind of results do your clients get? How long does it take to get these results? - For how many years have you seen clients with symptoms like mine? ## Talk About Values When Doing Therapy Therapy is an intensely personal undertaking during which you may discuss your innermost thoughts, your political beliefs, your religious ideals, and your goals for your life. Your therapist does not have to share all your values, but they must respect them. Many people find that a [therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/) with values like their own is a good fit. A devout Christian, for example, may thrive under the care of a therapist who specialises in Christian counselling; using such an approach with an atheist, though, would be damaging and potentially unethical. If any values are especially important to you, be sure to mention these at the beginning of your session. If for example you identify as a feminist, you may ask how this will affect therapy and whether your therapist is sympathetic to the challenges of dealing with sexism. When booking, clients who identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community may like to confirm that their chosen therapist is an ally. You should work with a psychologist who respects your gender identity, pronouns, and sexuality. Some questions you might want to consider asking include: - Does religion play a role in treatment? - What is your political orientation? Are you comfortable with mine? - Can you treat someone who does not share your values without forcing your values upon them? - What will you do if we have a disagreement? ## Ask Psychologists About Treatment Options Melbourne psychologists collaborate with you to create and adapt a personalized treatment plan based on your feedback and progress. Open communication is encouraged, allowing you to voice concerns and provide input into your therapy. To understand your therapist’s approach, ask about treatment modalities and how they tailor them for effectiveness. Regularly revisit the treatment plan and address concerns about progress or the need for medication. Explore our couples counselling services for relationship-focused therapy. The therapy “interview” is ongoing, aiming to enhance your well-being without diminishing your self-worth. Assess the therapeutic process by gauging your comfort, feelings after sessions, and the therapist’s responsiveness to your concerns. During initial sessions, evaluate the psychologist’s punctuality, office environment, staff friendliness, privacy, and clear financial policies. Ensure the therapist listens actively, refocuses discussions when necessary, and follows through on discussed topics, fostering a positive and effective therapeutic relationship. ## Trust Your Instinct When Choosing a Psychologist or Counsellor Trust your instincts when choosing a psychologist. If you feel uncomfortable, it’s okay to stop therapy without apology. Consider the following: - Professional Boundaries: A good psychologist avoids initiating romantic relationships or sexual contact. - Reassurance: You shouldn’t feel obligated to reassure your therapist; their focus should be on helping you. - Confidentiality: Sessions should be confidential, and billing policies clear and upfront. - Clear Treatment Approach: Effective therapy is directive, progressive, and flexible. If your psychologist avoids essential topics, consider moving on. - Feedback: Good psychologists welcome both positive and negative feedback. - Lifestyle Suggestions: Psychologists may offer lifestyle advice to improve your health. - Referrals: Ethical psychologists refer you to others if they can’t provide necessary treatment, such as medication. - Values and Insults: Psychologists shouldn’t force values on you, insult, or diminish your values. - Accountability: Therapists gently hold you accountable, question behaviors, and offer alternatives. Invest time in finding a skilled therapist for invaluable positive impacts on your mental and physical well-being. Our treatment options can be conducted face-to-face with our trained psychologists in addition to other options such as online via [zoom counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/), Telehealth and phone consultations. If you have a concern and would like to speak with a private psychologist in Melbourne, call us today, and our Client Connect Team can answer any questions you might have. You can also Meet our psychologists via the link to find out more about the right therapist for you. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Codependency Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/codependency-counselling/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Codependency Counselling ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Codependency Counselling ## Codependency Counselling ## Finding The Best Way Forward What’s the hallmark of a healthy relationship? It’s the idea that you and your partner both give one-another emotional support and a sense of fulfilment or belonging. But what happens when one person becomes so dependent on their partner that their own needs and identity fade into the background? This is what we call ‘codependency’ – a term that has become popular amongst the public and mental health providers alike. In this article, we’re going to explore what Codependency looks like, how common it is and when one should seek help. We’ll also explore some available treatment options. Read on to learn more. ## What is Codependency? In a codependent relationship, one person is overly dependent on the other to meet their emotional needs. As a result, codependent relationships tend to be one-sided, dysfunctional and at times even abusive. For example, in codependent relationships, one person typically spends a huge amount of time and energy trying to tend to their partner’s needs. They may become exploited in the process and end up feeling helplessly trapped. It makes sense, then, that codependent people [often](https://search.proquest.com/openview/92998ebce4d838b7061637891e4016d2/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=47399) struggle with boundary setting, [low self-esteem](https://search.proquest.com/openview/92998ebce4d838b7061637891e4016d2/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=47399), abandonment issues, an excessive need to help others and a difficulty in asserting their own emotional needs. It is also worth noting that codependent relationships aren’t always romantic or marital in nature; codependency can be experienced within the context of a friendship or family bond as well. ## When Is It Unhealthy To Depend On Your Partner? Hang on – aren’t we encouraged to depend on our partners for emotional sustenance? Of course, in a healthy relationship, there will be a certain amount of emotional dependence: this is normal, and we call it *interdependence*. So, what’s the differ ence between (healthy) interdependence and (unhealthy) codependence? ![Codependency Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Screen-Shot-2018-04-13-at-103256-am-720x483-1.webp "Codependency Counselling - The Three Seas Psychology") The main difference is that in codependent relationships, one person usually represses their true feelings and desires so that they can prioritize their partner’s needs. This is different from interdependent relationships, where one can maintain one’s own sense of self whilst also recognizing that one’s partner is needed and appreciated. Furthermore, a healthy relationship is *mutually* beneficial, rather than one-sided: it’s balanced to the extent that you both support and rely on each other. ## How common is it? [Some studies](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/23421994_Prevalence_of_Codependence_in_Young_Women_Seeking_Primary_Health_Care_and_Associated_Risk_Factors) suggest that as many as one in four people are affected. Having said that, a vast number of signs and symptoms have been linked with codependency, which makes it tricky to get an accurate estimate of its prevalence. It is also not officially recognised as a medical condition due in part to the disorder not being [clearly defined](https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.uct.ac.za/docview/198715098?pq-origsite=gscholar), which makes it harder to track the exact statistics. Nevertheless, for people in codependent relationships, the struggle is very real. Read on to find out more about this complex condition and the available treatment options. ## Links With Addiction The idea of codependency started gaining traction back in the 1980s due to action by the Al-Anon– a support group for family members or partners of people struggling with alcoholism. They started using the term because they noticed that the spouses and family of members of alcoholics often suffered greatly due to their loved one’s addictive behaviour – and yet they seemed to engage unintentionally in behaviour that often fuelled their partner’s behaviour. For example, one common behaviour pattern is called enabling: this is where one partner finds ways of protecting the other from the damaging consequences of their addiction in order to fulfil an underlying need to remain needed. ## What Causes Codependency? While researchers have yet to fully understand all of the possible causes, codependency is thought to be linked to the childhood experience of having had a parent (or parents) who demanded that more attention be placed on their own needs, rather than the child’s. Perhaps the parent had a mental illness, excessively difficult life circumstances or an addiction. In these cases, the child’s needs tend to be neglected; and the child develops a pattern of selfless behaviour as well as a deep-seated belief that his/her needs are less important than those of other people. ## Who seeks Codependency Counselling? People in codependent relationships are often wracked with powerful feelings of shame and guilt. In addition to re-experiencing dysfunctional relationship patterns, codependents are frequently affected by a low self-esteem and a powerful fear of abandonment. So, in sum: people who struggle with codependence experience a range of difficult emotional and interpersonal situations – it’s these experiences that usually bring them to therapy in the first place, long before they are aware of the codependent dynamics that underlie their struggles. This means that even though codependency itself isn’t an officially recognized psychiatric disorder, people who struggle with it still stand to benefit from therapy. ## What Kinds of Codependency Counselling are Available? Family therapy Codependency issues exist in the context of relationships – and often these problems are born in the family. Therefore, family therapy is well-suited to people seeking codependency counselling, especially to the extent that it targets unhealthy patterns of engagement between family members. Your therapist will work with the family to bring about a greater awareness of problematic dynamics, new ways of relating to one-another and different strategies for managing relationship problems when they arise. Through this process, the family has an opportunity to learn healthier ways of interacting and communicating with each other. Addiction therapy This may be indicated in cases where one person struggles with drug use, alcohol use, or behavioural addictions (such as gambling). In these situations, it is important for both partners to attend therapy and work together to reach common goals. The partner presenting with codependency will learn how their behaviours may be enabling the addiction and what they can do to break this cycle.It is important that both issues are addressed at the [same time](file:///C://Users/danie/Downloads/codependencytreatmentsystematicreview2015%20(2).pdf), given that codependency, enabling and addiction all feed powerfully off one-another. Group-based interventions Your therapist may suggest group therapy as an additional way to treat codependency. A therapy group serves as a safe space to explore codependency issues and work towards specific therapeutic outcomes, such as becoming more assertive and self-assured. Less focussed (but also helpful) codependency support groups may also available in your area – these aim to provide you with a greater sense of support and belonging by bringing you closer to people who are in a similar situation. Individual therapy Common therapy goals include learning to set healthy boundaries and improving your self-esteem. Other forms of individual therapy focus more on understanding the origins of your codependent tendencies by making links with your past experiences. Through all of this, you will be supported and empowered in putting your own needs and ideas first, without the experience of unnecessary shame! By addressing your codependency concerns through individual therapy, you stand to benefit from a stronger sense of self; and healthier, more balanced relationships with your family, partner and friends. Furthermore, commonly co-occurring mental disorders, such as depression and anxiety, can also be managed within individual codependency counselling. ## Where To From Here? As we have learned, codependency is a complex condition that can manifest in various ways. At the end of the day, we’re all individuals – and different support plans should be tailored according to your own specific needs. If you identify with some of the signs of codependency discussed here, you may want to consider speaking with a trained professional who can guide you regarding the best way forward. Remember: there is help available! Through therapy, you can gain a better sense of trust, respect and confidence in yourself as the full person that you are. ## If you have a concern and would like to speak with a private psychologist in Melbourne, call us today, and our Client Connect Team can answer any questions you might have. You can also Meet our Psychologists via the link to find out more about the right therapist for you. ## References Abadi, F. K. A., Vand, M. M., & Aghaee, H. (2015). Models and interventions of Codependency treatment, Systematic Review. *Journal of UMP Social Sciences and Technology Management*, *3(2),* 572-583. Granello, D.H. & Beamish, P. M. (1998). Reconceptualizing codependency in women: A sense of connectedness, not pathology. *Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 20*(4), 344-358. Noriega, G., Ramos, L., Medina-Mora, M.E., & Villa, A.R. (2008). Prevalence of codependence in young women seeking primary health care and associated risk factors. *American Journal of* *Orthospsychiatry, 78*(2), 199-210 Rotunda, R. J., & Doman, K. (2001). Partner enabling of substance use disorders: Critical review and future directions. *American Journal of Family Therapy, 29*(4), 257-270. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Communication issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/communication-issues/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Communication issues ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Communication issues ## Depression in relationships can cause all sorts of communication issues. Relationships are hard enough a lot of the time without this added dimension. Even eloquent talkers and good listeners can come unstuck when depression is thrown into the mix. A depressed person won’t necessarily act like you think they will or comply with the normal ‘rules of engagement’. They may feel so bad that getting words out of them at all might be like getting blood out of a stone. This can cause a partner’s emotions to flow and they may experience sadness, worry, confusion or anxiety about their partner and their relationship. Being human, the closer the relationship affected by depression, the deeper the effect of the communication breakdown. Depressed people can clam up, but they can also lash out, unable to clearly communicate how they are feeling. It is important not to throw fuel on the fire and start to repeat counterproductive communication habits. Talking with an [experienced psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help couples recognise the signs of these repeat behaviours and where depression lies within them. The things you will learn from a psychologist that will help you to communicate with a depressed person include: - How to be truthful but not hurtful in your communication - Active listening techniques - How to communicate regularly and in a calm state of mind - How to be understanding and compassionate with your partner - Mindfulness – being present, physically and emotionally with your partner - How to give your partner the chance to speak so they feel heard - How to avoid generalisations or insults and talk about feelings and needs instead - How to pay attention to the other person during communication and controlling your tone of voice, volume, face etc. - How to relate to your partner and see similarities between your needs - Relaxation techniques When communication issues are bad and depression is at the heart of the issue, the problem can seem unsolvable. This isn’t the case. Psychologists are experts in depression, the causes of depression and the way people communicate with their partners when they are depressed. **Seeking help from a professional is the best first step, call today and make an appointment with a Three Seas Psychologist.** **We now also offer online therapy options such as telehealth, [zoom counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) and phone consultations. To enquire, please call [(03) 9809 1000](tel:0398091000).** ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Conflict — Arguing and Fighting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/arguing-and-fighting/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Conflict — Arguing and Fighting ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Conflict — Arguing and Fighting ## If you have never had an argument or fight in your relationship, then you’re very lucky. Arguing ‘well’ is an acquired skill, and one that can only improve with practice. People don’t see eye-to-eye at all time, especially when they are in a relationship for many years – everyone experiences relationship turbulence; its completely normal. But if your disagreements are getting nasty, becoming more frequent, and leading to shouting and aggressive behaviours, the only end you will see is unresolved conflict, usually silence, rejection, hurt, and resentment — it’s time to see psychologist. ![Conflict — Arguing and Fighting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Screen-Shot-2018-03-01-at-11.27.33-am-1.webp) [Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) are experts in human behaviour. They have studied the foundations of relationships, and continue to investigate, analyse and observe as their main profession. Seeing a psychologist is often a revelation — you may come to realise that the dance you’ve been doing all this time isn’t unique to your romantic relationship, but a pattern of behaviour that can be recognised in all of your relationships in general, be it; professional, family, friends, colleagues. However, the process of therapy is gradual, and often requires that you overcome one milestone at a time before tackling any major habituated behaviours. If you have been arguing and fighting with your partner, this would be a good place to start. [Couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) is a great way to learn how to argue ‘well’ and ultimately communicated better (broadly). A relationship psychologist (or ‘couples counsellor’ — they are on in the same) can help you explore ways to break the repetitive cycles of communication breakdown, so that you can learn to grab ahold of the olive branch – rather than hitting your partner over the head with it. Psychologist will also work with you to discover if anything deeper lies behind the arguments you’ve been having. Anger and aggression sometimes comes from sadness, and avoidance is oftentimes a consequence of resentment. [Anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) and [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/) for each individual can also play a major role in communication. It’s impossible to have a relationship without periodically having disagreements with one another. But when you don’t have the skills necessary to manage those disagreements in a healthy way, you may find yourself trapped in a perpetual cycle of arguing and fighting. The Three Seas Group can’t remove conflict from your relationship, but we can teach you the skills you need to manage conflict in a way that doesn’t result in intense fights. ## Why Do We Argue and Fight? Unless you clone yourself, it’s impossible to have a relationship with someone who agrees with you about everything — who would really want that, anyway? Disagreements and healthy debates in relationships help us change and grow, while offering us new perspectives which we might never be able to access. When you spend your life with another person with different needs and beliefs, disagreements are inevitable. Fighting and arguing, though, doesn’t necessarily need to be hurtful. In most relationships (couples or otherwise) fights will inevitably centre around a few key issues. In a marriage for example, each of you may envision a different lifestyle for the both of you —maybe you love television and your spouse craves quiet time alone, or perhaps your spouse likes to be pedantic about cleaning, and you don’t value cleanliness in the same way — there are some differences between people that will never change; and as independent individuals, like it or not, we cannot control another persons behaviour. What we can do, however, is learn to [communicate empathically](https://thethreeseas.com.au/communication-issues/): that is, understanding the needs and feelings of the other and communicating for the sake of honesty and compromise. Maybe the core of your arguments is that you find your partner’s family is intolerable — this is a challenging issue, and it may always be challenging. We are unable to control anyone else’s behaviours aside from our own. With good communication, an issue such as this, can be managed without constant fighting and arguments. Stubborn conflict is never a means to an end. Fighting and arguing will often follow a predictable cycle; it starts with a single issue or two, but when you begin arguing, both sides are willing to say just about anything to “win.” Soon, you’re fighting about the entire history of your relationship, everything you’ve ever thought, done, or said, and everything about your future. It doesn’t have to be this way. We’ll show you how to break this cycle so that you can stay focused on the issue at hand. ## The Role of Better Communication Every couple wants better communication, but for most people, it’s tough to hone the skills necessary to actually master good communication. It’s easy to point the finger at your spouse, but good communication is a joint undertaking. By mastering better communication skills, you make it possible to discuss disagreements without being the antagonist. [Research suggests](https://www.gottman.com/research/research-faqs/) that some communication styles are more damaging than others. Those include: - Contempt — the practice of dismissing your partner’s feelings and behaving as if you don’t care. - Stonewalling — the tendency to avoid conflict by actively or passively refusing to engage. For instance, you might leave the house or hang up on your partner. - Defensiveness — when you respond to every allegation with a defence, or by blaming your partner. It’s becomes challenging for your partner to feel heard. This makes it nearly impossible to effectively address the issue at hand. - Criticism — sometimes criticism is unavoidable, but in most relationships, both partners criticise one another too much and praise each other far too little. Unfortunately, these behaviours are all too common in most relationships or marriages, and study after study has shown that they are major predictors of divorce. There are better ways of communicating, but you must be willing to put in the work! ## How The Three Seas Counselling Can Help Three Seas helps you address your issues in a variety of ways. First, we’ll work with you to understand the core problems in your relationship. From there, we help you tackle each problem one by one, in a healthy and kind way. We’ll give you assignments for home so that you can practice what you’ve learned, and we’ll watch you discuss issues while offering meaningful feedback on what you can do better. If we notice a prolonged pattern of unhealthy communication, we’ll work directly to help you disrupt this pattern. And if life stressors, mental illness, or unspoken disputes are at the heart of your challenges, we can help you address these, too. Our [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) practices are comfortable, discrete, and easy to find, and our Client Connect Team are warm and helpful ## If you are tired of frustrations caused by old problems or feel your partner isn’t listening to you, call us and make an appointment to see a psychologist for couples counselling — (03) 9809 1000 ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Psychology Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Psychology Richmond ## The Three Seas Psychology, Richmond, Victoria 637-639 Bridge Rd Richmond VIC 3121 Australia ## Contact Us Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Mon-Fri: 8am to 9 pm Sat: 9am to 5pm --- ### [Counselling FAQs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling-faqs/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Counselling FAQs ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Counselling FAQs ## Counselling FAQs Read on to discover our most common counselling FAQs. ## What is the cost of counselling, and what if I need it but can’t afford it? Please refer to our [Medicare Rebates](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-and-bulk-billing/) page. ## How will I benefit from counselling? Research suggests that finding a good match between counsellor and client is the most significant predictor of successful therapy, even more important than the therapists’ training, experience, or approach to therapy. Counselling isn’t just for people struggling with mental illness or major life transitions. A therapist can help you navigate a host of issues, bringing clarity and progress to challenges you might not even have been consciously aware of! ## I’m struggling with uncontrollable emotions, how will counselling help me? Uncontrollable emotions are complex and sometimes difficult to identify. With guided support you will learn to identify these emotions and be given tools to accept and or modify these difficult behaviours. Our reactivity to certain stressors doesn’t have to be negative, instead, you can learn to channel your feelings into proactive behaviours. Anger for example, doesn’t have to be viewed as a negative response. Counselling services help you understand these tricky emotions and in time with practice accept and learn to respond effectively. A therapist can also help you determine if your emotions may be the product of a predominant mental health concern, or disordered thinking. Mental illness is common, with about 20% of Australians experiencing a mental illness every year. Mental health conditions are nothing to be ashamed of and to remember that it takes courage to reach out and seek support in the hope to improve your life. Some common mental illnesses and their symptoms include: - Depression: recurrent sadness, difficulty sleeping or getting out of bed, appetite changes, anger, hopelessness, guilt, shame, difficulty concentrating, inability to enjoy previously beloved hobbies and activities. - Generalised anxiety disorder: chronic anxious thoughts and feelings, racing heart, muscle tension, unexplained aches and pains. - Post-traumatic stress: recurring intrusive memories or flashbacks of the traumatic event, anxiety, depression, nightmares, phobias, emotional reactivity, anger. - Personality disorders: difficulty with relationships, unusual emotional reactions, behaviour that is harmful to yourself or others, extreme emotions. - Obsessive-compulsive disorder: anxiety and paranoia, obsessively engaging in compulsive behaviour such as counting, tapping, checking locks, or handwashing. - Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: difficulty concentrating or listening, high energy, anger, trouble managing time and completing tasks, disorganisation, frustration, anxiety, depression. Mental health conditions can undermine your quality of life. If you have symptoms of a mental health issue a psychologist can help. ## What type of counselling do you offer? Psychologists provide counselling depending on the individual need of the client. At The Three Seas, we provide several options including. - face-to-face - [phone consultations](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) - Telehealth ## How can you benefit from a Counsellor? Finding the right therapist for your needs is often the key to success. Research suggests that a good fit between the counsellor and client is a significant predictor of the therapy’s success and more important than the therapists’ training, experience, or approach to treatment. Counselling isn’t just for people struggling with mental illness or major life transitions. It can also help you to: - learn to sit with uncomfortable emotions - navigate a host of issues - bring clarity and progress to challenges - unlock your potential - move past trauma - form healthy habits - improve your interpersonal relationships - work towards your goals - live a value-based life ## What’s the process for seeing a Psychologist? Contact our friendly and professional Client Connect Team for an appointment. Call or email them, and they can find the best counsellor who specialises in situations like yours. The right therapist will work with you through the process. You may be eligible for assistance from Medicare. Our team will help you understand how to be assessed by your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan, which could significantly reduce your fees. Our team will also provide information which can help you to find the right therapist and the right location. At The Three Seas, we also offer a variety of [online therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) including phone counselling, telehealth counselling, and more! ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [COVID-19 Update : Psychological Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/covid-19-update-psychological-services/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## COVID-19 Update : Psychological Services ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # COVID-19 Update : Psychological Services ## COVID-19 Update **Thursday 26th March, 2020** The recent COVID-19 pandemic is a global challenge we all face together. As the situation evolves rapidly, we endeavour to keep our clients updated on the most recent developments as they pertain to our practice and the services we offer. Please find relevant information below : - [Psychological services in Australia ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/)are considered Essential. Maintaining your mental health during this time is of critical importance. In response to increasing[ anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/), stress, grief,[ PTSD ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/)and other psychological difficulties. The Three Seas Group will remain open for both face-to-face consultations, unless directed otherwise by the Federal or State government or if a decision is made that this is no longer in the best interest of clients or ourselves. Telehealth (online) and phone consultations will continue to be provided where needed. - Our consultation rooms provide enough space to comply with social distancing guidelines; however, if this concerns you, [Telehealth or phone consultations ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/)are available and encouraged. - Some practitioners in our clinics have chosen to self-isolate and as such will deliver the service either online via Telehealth or over the phone. For information about who this includes, please call (03) 9809 1000. - In special circumstances, Bulk Billing and discounted fees can be applied. To enquire about this, please call (03) 9809 1000. ## Telehealth (online) and Phone Consultations. A psychologist has undergone extensive training in order to help individuals effectively manage stress, anxiety, panic, [grief](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) and other psychological concerns. Whether this is face-to-face, online, or over the phone, it is extremely important to seek professional help if you are experiencing psychological distress. It is encouraged that we all stay connected at this time, particularly in light of increasing social restrictions. As such, **some of our psychologists are encouraging new, existing, or former clients to engage with our services even if for a brief ‘Check in’ (10-15 mins) via phone or Telehealth.** In some circumstances there may be little or no fee associated with this. To enquire, please call (03) 9809 1000. You can book an appointment via Telehealth using the above line ‘BOOK NOW’. Appointments are available for both NEW and EXISTING clients. ## For more information about Telehealth Consultations, please visit our FAQ page HERE, or call (03) 9809 1000. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [DBT Group Skills Training](https://thethreeseas.com.au/dbt-group-skills-training/) **Published:** December 7, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## DBT Group Skills Training ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # DBT Group Skills Training **12-week *Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Group Skills Training* for Adolescents and Adults.** We all struggle from time to time with our mental health and relationships. However, some people experience these struggles so severely and frequently, that it fundamentally affects their wellbeing and safety. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) was developed to assist those experiencing extreme [difficulty in relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/), decision-making and emotion regulation. Although DBT is best known for assisting those with Borderline Personality Disorder, it has also been consistently effective for those with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression and those engaging in self-harm and suicidality1. DBT is a broad system of therapeutic treatments that significantly reduce the rates of suicidality and hospital admissions2. One of the most important components of the treatments is the group skills training3. The Three Seas Group are now conducting a 12-week DBT Group Skills Training Program for adolescents and adults. The program will cover the four key components of DBT: mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness. The program is run in a classroom format, where practical and effective skills are taught through psycho-education. Unlike other group therapies, DBT skills training is heavily structured, involves minimal personal divulging and no discussion of self-harm/suicidal attempts. The program aims to promote happiness and stability by assisting the participants to create a life worth living. The skills they learn in the program are specifically designed to assist them in different areas of life including relationships, work and safety. **How long will the program take?** The program will run over twelve weeks, consisting of weekly two and a half hour sessions. It is expected that participants will attend the entire program. Our group has a strong focus on skills application. **Who should attend the course?** Those seeking effective life skills to assist in managing Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and/or self-harm and suicidality. **When will the program occur?** Due to high demand, we will be commencing another Adult program (18+ years) on **Wednesdays between 4:30pm and 7:00pm** at our Northcote office, **commencing 28 September 2022**. Please call 98091000 register your interest. **How much the course cost?** The course will cost $60 per session over 12 weeks, the total cost being $720. A 50% deposit ($360) is payable at the time of booking, and the balance ($360) is payable on the day of the first session. Please note, the deposit is non-refundable within 7 days of program commencement. **Should I get a Mental Health Care Plan?** The program will most likely be run by two experienced provisional [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). In that case, there is no rebate available. However, if a general or clinical psych is present, the fee will become $82.55 per session and you can receive a Medicare rebate of $22.55. In either case the out pocket expense will be $60. **We would encourage you to get a Mental Health Care Plan, in case a Clinical or General psychologist is present.** **Where can I find out more or book?** Please call our Client Connect Team on 9809 1000 to discuss further or to book in for our next in-take. **Does the program include individual sessions with a Psychologist?** Individual sessions with a psychologist can be an effective addition to the DBT Skills Program. However, it is not included in the program. If it is of interest to you, we recommend for participants to consider attending individual therapy outside the skills training for additional support, main treatment planning, crisis management and of course further skills acquisition, generalization and rehearsal. **Program Structure (per week):** *Mindfulness (2 weeks)* 1\. Introduction to DBT skills training, Life worth living goals and values, 3 states of mind. 2\. What and How skills. *Emotion Regulation (4 weeks)* 3\. Understanding and describing emotions and the model of emotion, mindfulness of current emotion. 4\. Accumulating positive events short and long term (+values and goals) 5\. Building mastery, coping ahead and taking care of your body (PLEASE) 6\. Options for problem solving, checking the facts and opposite action. *Distress Tolerance (4 weeks).* 7\. Crisis survival skills: STOP, TIPP and pros and cons 8\. Distracting: ACCEPTS, improving the moment and self-soothing. 9\. Radical acceptance and turning the mind. 10\. Willingness and mindfulness of current thoughts. *Interpersonal Effectiveness ( 2 weeks)* 11\. Goals for interpersonal effectiveness with DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST skills + mindfulness of others 12\. Dialectics, validation and self-validation. **Please call our Client Connect Team on 9809 1000 to discuss further or to book in for our next in-take.** ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Depression Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) **Published:** December 7, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Depression Treatment ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Depression Treatment Dealing with Depression? The Three Seas provides effective depression treatment and counselling services for people who seeks help for depression, which is a serious medical illness. ![depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Signs-of-depression-corporate.webp "Signs of depression corporate - The Three Seas Psychology") About 6% of Australians – or about one in 16 – experience depression each year. Over the course of their lives, almost half of Australians experience a mental health condition. Although depressive disorders may make you feel alone, you most assuredly are not. Worldwide, it’s the second-leading cause of disability, so it should come as no surprise that it exacts a heavy social toll. Current estimates suggest that [mental health disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/) cost the Australian economy $20 billion every year. This mental health condition convinces you that all is hopeless, that nothing can end your misery. The truth is that this condition is highly treatable, even curable. Though you may have to experiment with a few different treatment options before you arrive at a strategy that works for you, depression counselling at Three Seas can get you well on your way to recovery. ## What is Depression? It is a complex brain disease that affects its sufferers in different ways at different times. Though the classic presentation of this mental health disorder leaves its victims feeling sad and hopeless, some also experience intense anger and anxiety, and others may mistakenly believe that problems in their relationships or lives are at the root of the condition. This condition was not well understood until the 20th century, leaving untold numbers of people to suffer needlessly. Many ended up languishing in asylums, where dismal conditions and harsh treatment made symptoms even worse. Though we’ve made much progress, there’s still work to be done. Researchers are still working to uncover the various causes that contribute to this mental health condition, and it’s likely that we will eventually identify several distinct subtypes of the disorder. This mental health condition is a notoriously slippery disease to treat. What works for one person might make another feel worse. For instance, many sufferers have great luck on SSRI drugs, but others experience side effects that make things worse. Consequently, it’s of paramount importance to report the full continuum of symptoms to your provider, and to work collaboratively with him or her to arrive at the right treatment option. Because mental disorders manifest differently in different people, many mental health providers are increasingly treating the disease from a biopsychosocial perspective. This perspective recognises that treating a depressive person has many components. The biological side of dealing with a depressive person is the brain chemistry you so often hear about. Though changes in brain chemistry can cause this condition, depressive thoughts can also change brain chemistry, creating a vicious cycle in patients who do not seek treatment. The psychological side of dealing with a depressive person involves the thoughts and emotions that contribute to the severity of the disorder. Brain chemistry shifts can cause these thoughts, which lead their sufferers to feel hopeless and sad. But a steady stream of negative thoughts can also aid for feeling depressed, which means a variety of psychological mechanisms contribute to the disorder. The social side of this mental health condition is the way that it affects relationships. Many people withdraw from relationships when they become depressed, or even behave cruelly toward their partners making them progressively feel isolated. Likewise, problems in social relationships including [divorce](https://thethreeseas.com.au/divorce-and-separation/), breakups, social isolation, family conflict, or fights with friends. At Three Seas, we offer help for depression as an individual, working diligently to combat all three components of this mental disorder while listening carefully to your needs, goals, and values. ## Causes of Depression Disorder It isn’t caused by a single factor that doctors are able to clearly identify. Some people have several risk factors and never get the disorder while others with no risk factors at all struggle severely. As research continues, we may uncover new causes of the disorder. Because this mental condition has biological, social, and psychological components, it’s likely caused by a complex cocktail of circumstances. Therefore unlikely we’ll ever uncover a single and specific cause. **Genetics** This condition of a person tends to run in families, and some research points to a genetic component of the disorder. This does not mean that this condition is caused by a single gene, though. Instead, research points to a complex interaction between genes and environment. A group of genes may predispose someone to develop the symptoms, but only in the right environment or at the right time. This means that, even if everyone in your family are depressed, you won’t necessarily get it if you take preventative measures. **Family History** We all learn things from our family of origin. Your mother’s tendency to ruminate and your father’s angry outburst might feel normal to you, causing you to adopt these coping skills in adulthood. But the coping skills you learn from loved ones may not be healthy, and can sometimes depress the person. Likewise, children who are raised by depressed parents are more likely to be depressed themselves because of the ongoing stress and trauma associated with being exposed to someone else’s mental health condition. In fact, people caring for or living with depressed people are significantly more likely to experience this condition themselves. **Trauma and Abuse** A history of trauma or abuse, particularly during childhood, greatly increases the risk of developing a depressive feeling. Trauma and abuse undermine self-esteem, destroy healthy coping mechanisms, and give their victims a painful memory that can be challenging to move beyond. **Stress** Stress is a significant predictor of the mental health condition. Indeed, with sufficient stress levels, anyone can become depressed. When you’re under stress, your brain doesn’t work as well, and chronic anxiety can even alter brain chemistry. Unfortunately, the mental health condition can make stress even worse, creating a vicious cycle. **Health Issues** Health challenges, particularly chronic and terminal illnesses, can be deeply challenging to live with. For some people, these challenges give rise to a depressive feeling while in other cases, the health issue itself is the cause. For instance, the symptoms of many brain disorders, as well as disorders of the endocrine system, may mimic this condition, so it’s of vital importance to rule out other causes first. Occasionally, the medications used to treat some health conditions can as well be the cause, so be sure to tell your medical provider about any and all drugs you take. **Social Well-Being** People with poor social lives, those in abusive relationships, and those who feel isolated or rejected are significantly more likely to experience mental health disorder. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth are 400% more likely to kill themselves than their heterosexual peers, suggesting that social rejection plays a key role in affecting the mental condition of the person. **Lifestyle** Lifestyle issues, such as addiction, poor coping skills, or a career that makes you miserable, can all increase your vulnerability to feeling depressed. And when you develop this condition, your sense of hopelessness and futility is more likely to cause you to make choices that keep you depressed. For instance, you may be unable to get out of bed, causing you to lose your job or your friends. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what caused the depressive feeling. Whether it’s a single cause, the culmination of a lifetime of challenging events, or you have no idea why you’re depressed, counselling really can make a difference. ## How Does Clinical Depression Affect Society? People suffering from this condition truly believe that they are worthless, that their lives don’t matter, and that things will never get better. They struggle to understand that this condition is treatable, so arguing with them is often a frustrating exercise in futility. Some people resign themselves to misery, telling themselves that no one cares anyway, so it doesn’t matter. The truth, though, is that the depressive feeling exerts exacts a hefty toll not only on its victims but also on those who love a depressed person. The loss in productivity, economic costs, and the decreasing in quality relationships extend well beyond the people who love a depressed person and into the larger community. The condition of feeling depressed is truly an international public health issue. One of the most serious consequences of this mental health disorder is its ability to destroy relationships. Anne Sheffield, an American therapist, coined the term ‘depression fallout’ to refer to its effects on people involved in close relationships with a depressed person. This mental condition causes its sufferers to behave in ways they otherwise never would. The consequences to their loved ones include: - Lost self-esteem - Increased workload; many people who love a depressed person spend lots of time trying to help the loved one accomplish tasks or attempting to get him or her to pursue treatment. - Depressive feeling; as half of people who live with a depressed person become depressed themselves. - The end of the relationship. It’s common for caregivers to be victimised by verbal or even physical abuse. Some leave. And in some cases, the depressed person may mistakenly blame his or her loved one for the mental health condition, then end the relationship. - Career difficulties - Health problems - Never express negative feelings toward the coparent to the child If you love someone who is depressed, [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) can help, but you may also benefit from individual counselling to help you more effectively manage your everyday challenges for dealing with depression. For children who live with a depressed parent, the consequences are truly dire. Research has repeatedly proven that children of depressed parents are more vulnerable to becoming depressed themselves. These children are also more vulnerable to addiction and drug use, as well as dropping out of school, so prompt treatment for a depressed parent can make a world of difference for his or her children. ## How Do I Know If I am Depressed? This mental health disorder fundamentally alters the way your brain processes information, colouring your judgement and impeding your ability to make good decisions. For this reason, many sufferers are in denial about their condition. They mistakenly believe that their lives really are worthless, and their mental health condition is the product of challenging circumstances, or that if people just treated them better, the person would feel free. This is known as denial, and can cause people to delay treatment for weeks, months, or even years. The mental condition of a depressed patient tends to get worse with time, so delaying treatment only makes the journey to recovery harder when you do finally seek help. So how do you know if you are depressed? Most people with the disorder experience several of the following symptoms. **Intense Sadness** Most – though not all – experience intense feelings of sadness that may manifest as sudden crying, the inability to think about anything other than what is wrong with your life, or a profound sense of grief. You may not know why you’re sad, or you may become depressed for a specific reason. In either case, feeling depressed is different from normal sadness because it doesn’t go away. Your sadness may temporarily lift when you do something you enjoy or something good happens, but it will quickly return. **Feelings of Guilt, Shame, or Worthlessness** Depressed people often turn their feelings of sadness inward. They are plagued by feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness. These feelings often contribute to a sense of hopelessness. You may believe your life has no value, will never get better, that no one cares, or that you do not have the skills you need to get better. That’s the depressed state of your mind talking, not a reflection of your actual reality. **Thoughts of Suicide** Most people entertain thoughts of suicide, even if they don’t intend to actually follow through. You may fantasize about dying, or be tempted to kill or harm yourself. More than half of all people who kill themselves suffer from some sort of mental disorder. **Anger** A few decades ago, few mental health professionals acknowledged the role anger plays in this health condition. Now all of that has changed. People may experience intense anger at themselves, others, or society. It’s especially common for men who are depressed to experience anger, and some may even lash out against intimate partners with angry diatribes or abusive treatment. **Relationship Difficulties** Given that this condition cripples your ability to engage with the world, to think clearly, and to make good decisions, it’s wholly unsurprising that it can also cause relationship problems. Many people experience increased conflict in their romantic relationships, more difficulty getting along with friends, or increased problem behaviours from their children. **Anxiety** This mental condition often leads to feelings of anxiety, and for some people, chronic anxiety is the underlying cause. For some people anxiety treatment can provide only temporary relief. **Difficulty Paying Attention** Depressed feeling divides your attention between the task at hand and your intense emotional pain. Thus, it can inhibit your ability to concentrate and make good decisions. Some people with ADHD, a condition that inhibits attention, depresses the person as a result of their chronic attention challenges. **Abandoning Previously Beloved Activities** It’s a myth that depressive feeling makes you unable to ever feel happiness, but it is difficult enjoying even the activities you once loved. You may not have the energy to pursue beloved hobbies, or you may no longer get excited about major life events. In some cases, this condition may even cause you to lose interest in your children, spouse, family, or other people you love. **Changes in Lifestyle** Most people with depressive thoughts experience lifestyle changes. They may lose interest in their jobs or family, struggle to get sufficient sleep, or sleep way more than they need to. Others experience changes in eating habits, unexplained aches and pains, or the sudden onset of physical health challenges. ## What are My Depression Treatment Options? Depression Treatment is both an art and a science. To get better, you’ll need to be willing to try several different strategies, and to keep trying something till it works. But with the first-rate care of Three Seas, it truly is possible to move past this dreadful disease. Your treatment options include: **Medication** Medication is the first line of defence against a depressed person’s mental condition, it completely eliminates symptoms. More frequently, though, medication needs to be combined with other treatments. Research has repeatedly shown that medication works best when combined with therapy, so at Three Seas, we are big advocates of both therapy and medication. A number of medication options can work, and you may need to try several drugs before you find the one that works for you. Be sure to report any side effects you experience to your doctor since there may be an alternative that comes with fewer side effects than the drug you currently take. **Therapy** Depression therapy can help you explore the history behind your mental condition. Many depressed people aren’t sure why they feel so bad, but recognising the cause of your feelings is the first step toward eliminating them. In therapy, you’ll learn how to get rid of negative thoughts, control your feelings before they control you, and more effectively manage your relationships. Your therapist can also help you implement lifestyle remedies, and can work with you and your spouse or family to navigate family conflicts. **Lifestyle Changes** A depressive person has the impacts of his mental condition in every area of your life, so making simple lifestyle changes can speed up your recovery. It’s important to note that lifestyle changes alone are rarely sufficient to combat this condition, but when combined with medication and therapy, the right environment can make a big difference. Some lifestyle changes to consider include: - Meditation, which can change the way your brain responds to stress and help you avoid automatic negative thoughts. - Exercise, which some studies have shown can be as effective as popular antidepressants. - Social support. If you want to get better, you need to be able to lean on people who love you. Reaching out to friends – or making new friends – can help you get on the road to recovery more quickly. - Healthy eating. Some people insist that changing their diet changed their life. - A regular sleep schedule. Getting up at the same time each day and going to bed at the same time each night can help you more effectively manage your symptoms. - Developing a hobby. Sometimes forcing yourself to do the things you once loved enables you to get back on track. - Never express negative feelings toward the coparent to the child **Hospitalisation** If you are a danger to yourself or to others, hospitalisation can help you get the treatment you need in a supportive environment. Three Seas offers referrals to qualified psychiatric hospitals and work with your hospital medical providers. A hospital stay isn’t a cure; rather, hospitalisation helps stabilise you so you can pursue treatment options such as therapy and medication. **Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)** A generation ago, ECT was a potentially dangerous treatment that people often underwent against their willing. Today, ECT is safe and only done with your consent. ECT works by delivering a small shock to the brain. This shock induces a seizure that can help to rewire your brain, potentially eliminating the depressive thoughts. ECT carries some risks – including the loss of short-term memory – so is considered a treatment of last resort. For patients who don’t get better with other treatments, though, ECT can be a godsend. As many as 90% of patients see an improvement with this approach. You do not have to suffer in silence and isolation. Don’t believe the lies your mental health condition tells you about the hopelessness of treatment. Treatment can and does work, and Three Seas can be an excellent ally in your battle for wellness and happiness. You can get better, and Three Seas will show you the way through its hotline. It’s up to you to take the first courageous step, by reaching out and asking for help. You deserve it. Don’t suffer another day. Depression destroys lives, but counselling can cut to the heart of even the worst mental health condition. **At The Three Seas we offer face-to-face consultations as well as a variety of [online therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) options such as telehealth, zoom counselling and phone consultations. To enquire, please call [(03) 9809 1000](tel:0398091000).** ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Divorce and Separation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/divorce-and-separation/) **Published:** December 7, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Divorce and Separation ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Divorce and Separation The end of your marriage can wreak havoc on your [mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/), even if you were unhappy in your relationship or are the one who wanted the divorce. We counsel couples and individuals as they navigate the trials and tribulations of the divorce and separation process. Here’s what you need to know. ## The Complex Emotions of Divorce and Separation The end of a relationship can spark a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Your marriage forms a core part of your identity. So when you go through the end of a relationship, you are also experiencing a significant disruption in your sense of self. Marriages, even bad ones, provide people with something to do, a sense of purpose, and hope for the future. Thus even the loss of a bad marriage can send you into a tailspin of confusion, sadness, and frustration. It is normal to feel different, and completely conflicting, emotions from one moment to the next. You might find yourself so depressed you cannot get out of bed one day, only to be excited about your new-found independence the next. Some of the many emotions you can expect to experience as you navigate your journey into a new life include: - [Anger](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) at your spouse for mistreating you during and after your separation, or for taking from you the life you thought you would have. - Jealousy of your spouse’s new partner, and envy of the life your spouse has, especially if he or she is making more money, has a better job, or appears to be adjusting to the separation better than you have. - Low self-esteem, particularly if your spouse is the one who sought the divorce. - Depression over the[ loss of your partner](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) and the life the two of you made together. - [Anxiety over the future.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) You may also feel anxiety if you are not sure what’s going to happen in your relationship, or if you hope to reconcile. Joy at new-found independence. - Fear of living alone, paying your bills on your own, or even of your spouse. ## Understanding the Grieving Process Decades of research into the grieving process suggest that grief follows a specific pattern. The stages of grief often include: - Denial: In the early days, you may be in a state of shock. You might not believe your marriage is ending, or insist that, if you only try the right strategy, you can stop the divorce. - Anger: Divorce is painful, but sometimes it is easier to get angry than sad. When you are struggling to accept that your life will look much different than you planned, it is natural to feel angry. You might also be angry at your spouse if he or she mistreated you, cheated, or has already moved on with a new partner. Newly divorcing couples are often surprised by how intense the anger they experience feels. - Bargaining: During the bargaining stage, you may attempt to regain control. You might beg your spouse to come back or try to find ways to dull the pain of the divorce, such as by seeking revenge or fighting over custody of your children. You might also try to understand better why you are getting divorced, or tell yourself that if only you had done one thing differently, things would have been better. It is common for people in the bargaining stage to obsess over single conversations or long-since-irrelevant marital spats. - [Depression: ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/)As you move further into your journey out of your marriage, you will eventually come to realise that the changes in your life are permanent—and that they might not be easy. At this point, you may become depressed, hopeless, and even suicidal. - Acceptance: At some point, you will grow to accept your divorce, and begin a new life. This eventually happens to almost everyone, even people who did not want the divorce or who could not imagine life without their spouse. In time, it is possible to adjust to almost anything. You will not necessarily go through the stages of grief in any particular order, and you may move in and out of each stage several times. It is normal to spend more time in one or two stages; for example, some people spend a lot of time angry, but very little time in a state of denial. There’s no predetermined timetable for your grief, either. Some people move into acceptance within a matter of months. For others, it takes years. The length of your marriage, your quality of life, your emotional health, how much support you have, how happy you are with your spouse, how contentious your divorce is, and numerous other factors can affect how quickly you grow to accept your divorce. ## Why Your First Impulse Might Not Be Your Best Trust your instincts. We have all heard it a thousand times. When you are going through a divorce, though, you might be better off ignoring your instincts. The grief of a divorce can spur you to behave in cruel, retaliatory, and profoundly self-destructive ways. Remember: your feelings are not facts; just because you feel it does not make it true. Moreover, the fact that something feels good in the moment—like yelling at your spouse, sleeping with a stranger, or burning your ex’s clothes—does not mean it is good for you in the long-term. These four principles can help you make wise choices when your feelings overwhelm you: - The more time you spend with your spouse, the worse you may feel. That includes time spent fighting. Seek as much distance as you can. - Retaliating against your spouse will ultimately make you feel more emotional, more out of control, and much worse. - Staying busy is always a good choice. The depression of a divorce can pull you into a state of withdrawal that leaves you isolated and with little fulfilment. Force yourself to go to work, spend time with friends, and cultivate new hobbies, even when your pain tempts you to do nothing at all. - Good physical health can help you feel better fast. Exercise, eat healthy foods and take 20 minutes each day to meditate or pray. Don’t forget the value of good sleep! Go to bed at the same time each night, and avoid oversleeping—even when sleep feels like the only break you get from the pain of your separation. ## Triggers, Anniversaries, and Other Recurring Stressors: What You Need to Know Grief is a funny thing. Even when you feel better or begin to accept your divorce, powerful emotions can come out of seemingly nowhere. Triggers are life events that remind you of the trauma of your divorce. Understanding this process can help you prepare, thereby reducing your pain. It is common to feel sad or angry when: - Your wedding anniversary rolls around. - The holidays mean embracing new traditions without your spouse. - Your spouse begins dating someone new. - You break up with your first post-divorce romantic partner. - Your children appear to enjoy time with your spouse even without you. - You are otherwise feeling depressed, angry, or vulnerable. Sometimes we look for things to justify our feelings. So if you have a bad day at work, you might start blaming your negative emotions on your divorce instead of your boss. ## How Divorce and Separation Affect Mental Health In the popular imagination, depression is a chemical imbalance. The truth is more complicated. Life events can trigger mental illness, or make the mental illness you already have worse. It is common to feel anxious, depressed, or obsessive when going through a divorce. However, for some people, the divorce triggers feelings they cannot seem to escape. Everyone can benefit from counselling during a divorce, but therapy can be particularly beneficial if: - You feel suicidal. - You cannot eat or sleep. - You cannot concentrate. - You do not enjoy activities you once found pleasurable. - You have lost your sense of self. - You are still very depressed a year after your separation. ## How Counselling Can Help You Survive and Thrive People facing difficult life events can be reluctant to seek counselling. “The problem is not me; it is my life.” So goes the thinking. The truth is that the way you think about your life affects how you feel. How you feel affects how you behave, and your behaviour can make your life better or worse. Counselling can help you: - Find healthy coping strategies. - Identify patterns in your past relationships that might cause problems in your next relationship. - Understand your role in your divorce; no matter what your partner did, it is never just one person’s fault. - Identify unhealthy thoughts and feelings. - Feel supported by someone who will never judge you. Counselling can even be a joint endeavour, during which you and your ex-devise strategies for divorcing in a less harmful way. In this approach, your counsellor serves as a mediator who helps you arrive at a better way of relating. At Three Seas, we do individual and [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) at all stages of the divorce process. There’s a better life ahead of you. Let us show you how to find it.With dozens of [private psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) to choose from, you deserve to get the very best possible care. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Domestic Violence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/domestic-violence/) **Published:** December 7, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Domestic Violence ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Domestic Violence Despite much progress in gender relations over the past few decades, domestic violence remains a serious issue. Though both men and women can be victimised by domestic violence, research indicates that domestic violence against men is rare, though [about one in three women](http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/domestic-violence-statistics.php) are eventually victimised by domestic violence. At Three Seas, we work with domestic violence victims to move past the pain and trauma. If you have a history of domestic violence or are in an abusive relationship, we may also be able to help you navigate these challenges. **The Difference Between Domestic Violence and Normal Conflict** Domestic violence isn’t just a tiff gone awry, and it’s not a natural reaction to intense conflict. It doesn’t matter what your partner has done or failed to do. Infidelity, disrespect, dishonesty, and a host of other problems are common in relationships, but they are not a valid excuse to hit your partner. If you believe such behaviours excuse domestic violence, then you are almost certainly an abuser. So how can you tell if you’re trapped in a domestic violence relationship? Not all abusive relationships begin with physical violence. In fact, in most cases the violence starts small, steadily escalating over time. Some signs that your relationship is an abusive one, and that you’re not just experiencing normal conflict include: - Your partner threatens your physical safety. - Your partner shows you weapons as a veiled threat. - Your partner has isolated you from friends and family. - Your partner controls the finances in your house, or won’t let you work outside of the home. - Your partner is excessively jealous, or frequently accuses you of things you didn’t do. - Your partner abuses your children or pets. - Your partner breaks things in the house, especially your things. - Your partner controls your behaviour to minimise your chances to talk to someone else about your problems. - Your partner calls you names, spits on you, yells at you, or punishes you. - You are afraid of your partner. - Your partner coerces you or forces you to have sex when you don’t want to. - Your partner makes you feel worthless. - Your partner forces you to care for him, but does not offer you care or compassion in return. - Your partner monitors your communication or otherwise interferes with your ability to communicate with people outside your relationship. **Understanding the Cycle of Abuse** Domestic violence is cyclical in nature, so if your partner is nice to you sometimes, or even most of the time, this doesn’t mean you’re not in an abusive relationship. Most experts on domestic violence recognise three distinct phases to the abuse. ## Tension Building During this period, conflict steadily builds. You may argue about daily issues, work to please your abuser, or perform some combination of the two. In most cases, you can feel that things are steadily getting worse as the frequency of your partner’s kindness gradually decreases. ## Battering During the battering phase the abuser uses things that happened during the tension-building phase – such as infidelity, disagreements, or issues with your children – as a reason to lash out at you. Battering may take the form of physical or emotional violence, or some combination of the two. Battering tends to escalate over time, but each battering cycle may be different from the last. ## Honeymoon During the honeymoon phase, the abuser stops battering temporarily, apologises for his actions, and may take extraordinary measures to show his remorse. Importantly, the batterer does not take meaningful steps toward improvement, such as seeking therapy or recognising that he is participating in a cycle of abuse. The abuse victim may so desperately want to believe that things will be better that she sticks around. It is the honeymoon period, during which the abuser is kind and apologetic, that keeps most victims in abusive relationships. **How Domestic Violence Affects Victims** Domestic violence is a complex social problem, and victims stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons, ranging from financial security to concerns that they’ll be killed if they leave. And, of course, for many victims, love figures prominently. It can be intensely painful to end a relationship, even an abusive one, and this alone is sufficient to keep many victims subjecting themselves to abuse for years. The consequences, though, cannot be overstated. Domestic violence affects victims in myriad ways, including: - Trauma to children; children who witness domestic violence face a host of health and psychological problems - Severe injuries such as broken bones, injured organs, brain damage, wounds, and head injuries. - Death; more than half of murdered women are killed by a current or former romantic partner. - Depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. - Feeling disconnected from reality; abusers are often so good at convincing a victim it’s her fault that the victim begins to feel as though she can’t trust herself. - Post-traumatic stress disorder. - Difficulty working, paying bills, or performing other daily tasks. - Post-traumatic stress disorder. - Nightmares, disturbed sleep, or difficulty sleeping. - Changes in eating or exercise habits. - Distorted body image. - Chronic pain. **Treatment for Domestic Violence Survivors** At Three Seas, we offer intensive counselling to help victims move beyond domestic violence and into a happy life. The process begins with helping you manage your current relationships. If you’re still in a domestic violence relationship, we’ll work to help you leave. Together we’ll discuss strategies for exiting, in addition to exploring any psychological barriers to leaving. For example, if low self-esteem causes you to believe you couldn’t function on your own, we’ll help you move beyond this distorted belief. If you’re already out of an abusive relationship and are trying to put the pieces back together, we can help. Domestic violence victims often struggle with depression, anxiety, depleted self-esteem, fear, and difficulty establishing healthy relationships. We tackle each issue one by one, helping you steadily rebuild your life so that you never again have to live with the pain and fear of domestic violence. **Treatment for Domestic Violence Perpetrators** If you are a perpetrator of domestic violence, treatment begins with recognising that you, and you alone, are to blame for the abuse your partner has suffered. We work with domestic abusers who are ready to more effectively manage their anger and avoid ever harming another partner. Some of the issues we can help you address include: - Finding non-violent ways to express your needs and resolve conflict. - Making amends to a partner whom you have abused. - Controlling your anger. - Recognising that violence is never an appropriate response to anger. - Understanding any underlying factors that contribute to your anger, such as insecurity, depression, or a childhood history of abuse. We often find that people who engage in violence against others have an underlying mental illness, such as depression. If this is the case with you, we’ll offer you comprehensive and compassionate treatment. We are non-judgment and understanding, and we know it takes courage to recognise that you need help controlling violent behaviour. But our services don’t end there. We know that it takes more than compassion to end the cycle of domestic violence. For that reason, we challenge you when necessary. When we notice you sharing a false belief, a thought that leads to violence, or an idea that blames your partner for your violence, we’ll call you on it. Moving past domestic violence means recognising your own dangerous or problematic ideas, and we help you do precisely that. We offer a number of services for perpetrators who want to have peaceful, gentle, nonviolent relationships. Individual counselling can help perpetrators understand the cycle of violence and move beyond violent coping skills. And our anger management group allows you to get support for your anger from other people who know what it’s like to live with overwhelming anger each day. **Treatment for Couples Involved in Domestic Violence** Most experts on domestic violence agree that couples counselling [will not solve domestic violence. ](http://www.thehotline.org/2014/08/why-we-dont-recommend-couples-counseling-for-abusive-relationships/)Violence is the fault of the perpetrator, not a shared problem in the marriage. But when it is treated as such, counselling can become an avenue through which the abuser further abuses the victim. In some cases, counselling can even become a tool for the abuser to blame the victim for her own abuse! Consequently, we don’t offer couples counselling to work specifically on domestic violence. What we do offer is assistance for couples who want to pick up the pieces after moving beyond violent relationships. When a perpetrator is sufficiently committed to change, it can be possible to move into a healthy, happy relationship. In couples counselling, we’ll help you: - Find ways to make amends to your partner and nurture a sense of safety. - Understand better ways of communicating. - Express your needs to one another. - Express anger and frustration in a healthy, non-harmful fashion. If you’re not ready for [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/), we’ll offer you each individual counselling. With Three Seas, you can both move past a history of domestic violence. Don’t allow violence to undermine your well-being for another second.Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) for therapy. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Drug use](https://thethreeseas.com.au/drug-use-2/) **Published:** December 7, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Drug use ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Drug use ## Children becoming adolescents gain increasing freedom from the family fold and with this comes greater exposure to all sorts of adult activities – some of these may even be illegal. The increasing availability of illicit drugs in society means that it isn’t always possible to keep your child away from drugs. If your child does encounter and experiment with drugs, it’s important to know that you can get help with how to handle the situation from a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). **Why do kids experiment with drugs?** Imagine a young person kept in isolation and unable to encounter the outside world where adults drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, and where heroes in movies do drugs and break the law. To avoid references to drug use, they would need to avoid advertising, celebrity gossip magazines, TV, movies, and the internet – clearly an impossible scenario. The innate curiosity of children means they will want to try things, sometimes before they are legally of age, and sometimes even if they know it is completely illegal. **So what drives this behaviour?** The need for acceptance in young people makes peer pressure incredibly powerful in motivating children and especially adolescents in their behaviour. Often this is the key driver to trying drugs or maintaining a habit. If adolescents are in with the right or wrong crowd it can make the biggest difference in their adoption or resistance to bad habits. Mixing with the wrong crowd can cause adolescents to override their parents’ wishes or even their own values. Children who experiment with drugs often seek out experiences that produce thrills and excitement that their day-to-day lives can’t duplicate. This is not unusual and adults often seek adventure and thrills such as white water rafting, car racing, bungee-jumping, affairs and illicit sexual relationships etc. The difference is taking drugs is illegal and potentially harmful. Some people say we are wired to seek out thrills and the dopamine ‘hit’ of the thrill can be as strong as the ‘high’ of the drug use. Often there is an element of rebellion in amongst the motivations for adolescents to try drugs, where it shows an independence from the thinking and behaviours of family and society. Sometimes, children aren’t rebelling against their parents they are copying them. Drugs can provide an escape route. Young people on drugs often talk of being able to ‘zone out’ from the pressures of life, in a way they can’t do without chemical assistance. There is also often a feeling that the consequences of drug abuse and even addiction don’t apply to them. This immortal feeling in young people is important for taking risks and having adventures when you are in a time of your life when you have less to lose, as long as it is managed and doesn’t get out of control. ## If you are worried about your child or adolescent and would like them to speak with a psychologist, call today and make an appointment. Alternatively, you can speak with a psychologist about your child confidentially. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Coparenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/coparenting/) **Published:** December 6, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Coparenting ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Coparenting ## It can be challenging enough raising children in a family, but coparenting or shared parenting can place further stress on parents. After a separation or divorce, there is a range of emotional issues for the parties to deal with. When you share the parenting responsibilities of a child, these issues can be exacerbated, but nevertheless, they need to be worked through for the sake of everyone involved. Some coparents may not see eye-to-eye and find it difficult to agree how best to raise a child. Conflicts between coparents affect children and therefore need to be addressed in a safe and professional environment. Counselling from a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help specifically for coparenting or shared parenting. Some of the areas where counselling can help coparents include: - Encouraging cooperation between coparents - Encouraging communication and flexibility - Learning to compromise, so that everyone feels that they have a voice and a say - Acting as a mediator in the process of coming to agreements - Learning how to talk about your coparent in a respectful way that does not harm your child - Dealing with the neglect of a coparent - Joint custody arrangements - Identifying and correcting behaviours where coparents place children in the middle of their issues - Helping a parent deal with the other parent moving on It is central to the coparenting counselling process to remember that the well-being of the child is the most import thing. Children need a stable and calm environment and a key step towards achieving this is to develop a harmonious relationship between coparents. With the right help, it is possible to create a coparenting relationship that works for the coparents and, most importantly, for the child. Tips for successful coparenting: - Keep the channels of communication open - Focus on the best interests of the child - When communicating with a coparent, use clear, simple language that conveys the message clearly - Avoid getting emotional in correspondence - Learn to compromise - Never put the child in the role of go-between or messenger - Never express negative feelings toward the coparent to the child ## To discuss coparenting with a fully qualified psychologist call The Three Seas Psychology Melbourne today. We have a range of professionals near you, across The Three Seas Melbourne locations, to assist with coparenting challenges. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Business Coaching](https://thethreeseas.com.au/business-coaching/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Business Coaching ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Business Coaching ## What is Business Coaching? For many business owners, a business—whether small or large, local or international—represents the bringing to fruition of a lifelong dream. Owning your own business allows you to treat your employees the way you deem appropriate, provide a service that meets your own exacting requirements, avoid the hassles of daily interacting with a boss, and provide something of value to your community. That’s precisely what we have endeavoured to do at Three Seas. Three Seas Counselling is a mental health practice, but it is also a business. We understand the challenges and triumphs of running a business, and we know that much of your identity, well-being, and sense of purpose might be wrapped up in your business. That’s the problem. It’s tough to separate your business from yourself, which means you might not detect problems—or uncover new solutions—until your business is already in trouble. [More than 60% of Australian businesses close within their first three years of opening](http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2015/09/28/small-business-failure_n_8187166.html). It’s in your best interests to do everything you can to help your business thrive. Coaching is an easy way to maximize your success without spending lots of money. ## Why Businesses Need a Coach? You wouldn’t take up a new sport or instrument without a teacher. But for some reason, people think they can run a business without any assistance. When you’re running a business, you’re charged with at least two tasks: 1) the actual work, which may include providing services or consumer goods, as well as maintaining your license or educational credentials; 2) all of the tasks associated with running a business, such as managing employee payrolls, overseeing daily operations, applying for loans, authoring grants, and managing public relations. Few people can manage all of these tasks, and the knowledge of how to do them is anything but innate. Coaching equips you with the skills you need to manage all sides of your business. It can also help you admit when you don’t know how to do something, so you can find someone who does. For instance, few people are able to competently write SEO-optimized, professional-sounding web content. Outsourcing the work to someone who knows how to do it can save you time and money, while improving your business’s search engine rankings and public image. A business coach may draw your attention to this by pointing out that your website—which you thought was well-written and compelling—makes your business look bad. ## What Coaching Offers? So what can your business get out of coaching? Just as it’s hard to pin down what a baseball coach or piano teacher can offer your child, coaching is as diverse as the people who seek it. Your coach looks at the big picture, blending an astute knowledge of business culture and human psychology to encourage and inspire you to get where you want to be. Some of the benefits include: - Assistance dealing with employee and managerial issues. Sometimes a little bit of compassion, an awareness of effective management styles, or an understanding of human psychology are all it takes to get better results from your staff. - An unbiased perspective. It’s hard to be critical of your own business; it’s like your child. A business coach gently points to your weaknesses, empowering you to find ways to overcome them. - The ability to build upon your strengths. If you’re not particularly assertive, then why waste your time trying to be a manager? Your coach can help you uncover your unique strengths, then outsource the work that you’re not equipped to do. - Insight into what sets your business apart, and how you can help others see that which makes your business uniquely valuable. - A friend, partner, and mentor for the good and bad times. Need to vent about an unfair supplier or a nightmare employee? Call your coach so you can avoid a screaming fit or bad decision that hurts your business. ## Who Can Benefit From Business Coaching? Business coaching can benefit every business, from small to large and new to old. Indeed, there is no business for which business coaching will be a net loss. Some signs that you could especially benefit from coaching include: - Your business is failing, and you don’t know why. - You’ve suddenly experienced high employee turnover. - You have a lot of difficultly getting along with employees or suppliers. - You have recently faced an economic downturn or decreased interest in your product. - You feel overwhelmed and uninspired about your business. - Your business is going through a major change. - You are expanding or downsizing. - You have just opened a business, or have migrated to a new market. - You are struggling to make a profit. - Your business is being sued. - You’ve been subject to a slew of negative reviews. ## Is Coaching the Same as Therapy? Many small business owners are reluctant to seek business coaching, particularly from a counsellor. They worry that doing so will mean little more than endlessly ruminating on their feelings. In today’s cut-throat business climate, such as practice can leave some managers feeling weak and exposed. Moreover, it may be a privacy violation for businesses to require employees to undergo therapy. Here’s the good news: business coaching is not therapy. Therapy gently guides you to explore your own psyche and arrive at healthy conclusions that then propel you toward actions that improve your life and relationships. Business coaching is a shorter-lived and more directive undertaking. You won’t be delving deeply into your own mind—or the minds of your employees. Instead, you’ll work with your coach to set clear, specific goals. You’ll then break the steps to achieving those goals into manageable actions. Your coach’s job is to hold you accountable, and to help you determine which barriers prevent you from achieving your goals. ## Why Seek Coaching With a Counsellor? Anyone can call themselves a business coach, but counsellors in Australia have years of training. At Three Seas, we’ve seen it all, from troubled marriages to disturbed children. This gives us a unique window into the human psyche. While coaching is not therapy, you can still benefit from our therapeutic expertise in the following ways: - We can offer you insights into promoting a healthy, balanced workplace culture. - We can help you understand how to more effectively relate to difficult people—something all business owners must do. - We can help you identify how your own psychological concerns may be a barrier to your success. - We can gently guide you toward embracing your desire for success and moving beyond shame, guilt, and fear of self-promotion. ## What’s Involved in Business Coaching? Every business coaching session is as unique as the businesses we serve. We truly believe that there is no one size fits all approach. Instead, effective business coaching takes into account your goals, current challenges, and unique skill set. We work with you to devise a coaching plan that works for your schedule, needs, and budget. During our first session we will: - Get to know you and your business, ask questions about your current operations, and learn all we can about your particular niche. - Explore your challenges and strengths. - Ask you about your goals. - Discuss your personality, how it interacts with your employees’ personalities, and what you’d like to do to improve your business. - Set a timeline for future coaching sessions, including a tentative list of business goals and action-items. ## How Long Does Business Coaching Take? The short answer is that business coaching takes as long as it needs to. There is no set timeline. Some businesses thrive with just a single session. Larger, more complex, and more troubled businesses may need multiple sessions. Ultimately, it will be up to you. Our job is to work with your needs and budget, so if finances are a concern, please let us know. ## How Will I Know Business Coaching is Working? Whether you work with us or another business coach, we want you to get the most out of each and every coaching session. So how will you know if coaching is working? After all, there is no guarantee that any business will succeed. Some signs that you’re getting what you need include: - You’re achieving more of your goals, and crossing more items off of your to-do list. - You feel like you understand your staff better. - You have a clear idea of the specific steps you need to take to achieve your business goals. - You spend less time worrying about your business. - You know why you do the things you do, rather than acting on impulse or emotion. - You feel fully understood by your business coach. - You begin to see your business as fun again. - You feel a deeper sense of ownership and control over your business. - You begin to develop creative ideas for how you would like your business to look and feel in the future. With dozens of private [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) to choose from, you deserve to get the very best possible care. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Bullying Behaviours and Being Bullied](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bullying-behaviours-and-being-bullied/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Bullying Behaviours and Being Bullied ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Bullying Behaviours and Being Bullied ## Bullying behaviours and being bullied by someone in children and adolescents is common. In many ways dealing with situations where people disagree is a vital learning curve in how to deal with people in general. [Bullying ](http://bullyingnoway.gov.au/)behaviours and being bullied by someone however is a very different behaviour altogether. Bullying is a repeated psychological, physical or social tormenting of one person by another or a group. It can happen face to face, at a distance by rumours or exclusion or even using technology. It is important as a parent to keep an eye out for signs that your child or adolescent is bullying or being bullied. Indicators of a bullying victim include: - Changes in their behaviour - Reduced self-esteem - Newly fearful and anxious - Changes in friendships and what they say about their friends - Loss of friends - Not wanting to participate or attend - Changes in mood – often teary - Drop in performance at school *Physical changes* - Ripped clothing - More bruises or scratches than normal - Missing or broken belongings - Drop in physical health In the case of cyber-bullying, some of the above will also apply but may also include: - Receiving random calls, emails, notes or even postal items - Hiding their online activities - Seeming anxious when they receive a message - Being upset after reading messages - Seeming hesitant to go online but spending more time then seems normal online - Withdrawing from normally pleasurable activities and friends Your child may possibly be the bully. In order to identify whether they are, ask yourself the following questions: - Is your child the dominant member of a group? - Do they tease or torment one person inside or outside the group? - Do they isolate one person and pick on them mentally, verbally or even physically? - Do they lack compassion for this person? - Do they talk about this person behind their back and seek to exclude them. Whether you are dealing with a bully or a victim of bullying, as parents it is important to seek help for yourself and your child. Speaking with a [trained psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can make all the difference. ## Call today for an appointment. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Bulimia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bulimia/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Bulimia ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Bulimia ## Bulimia nervosa (bulimia) can affect both sexes and span all ages, socioeconomic, ethnic, and racial groups. Most commonly, however, it occurs in adolescent girls and young women. Bulimia is an eating disorder in which uncontrollable eating of large amounts of food (binges), is followed by intentional vomiting and/or misuse of laxatives, enemas, fasting, or even excessive exercise in order to control weight (purges). The sufferer will often hide this behaviour and to all outward impressions be perfectly normal and with a normal weight. Although these young people look fine, they also tend to have low self-esteem and a distorted idea of their body image. The process of bingeing and purging gives them a feeling of control, removing the anxiety for a while. They sometimes describe the feeling as being numb, which is better than the pain they feel otherwise. These feelings then make way for those of shame and guilt often followed by stress and depression. There isn’t one single cause for why a child or adolescent will become bulimic. The combination of their genes, backgrounds and what is happening for them in their lives, along with social attitudes and family influences, can all play their part. Sometimes an event might be a trigger for the onset of the disease. Symptoms of bulimia may include but are not limited to: - Anxiety - Obsession with food, weight, and body shape - Rapid uncontrolled binge eating – secretive - Self-induced vomiting – scarring on the back of the fingers from this process - Excessive exercise - Fasting and peculiar eating habits or rituals - Inappropriate use of laxatives or diuretics - Irregular or absent menstrual cycle - Unwarranted unhappiness with oneself and bodily appearance - Depression - Overachieving and impulsive behaviours ## In an increasingly image-focussed world, the rise of eating disorders is a distressing reality. An eating disorder is a mental illness that can affect people of any age, background or culture. Bulimia nervosa is when a person binge eats and then purges by either vomiting or exercising excessively. Bulimia mainly affects women, with adolescents and young women most commonly affected. A person suffering from bulimia often experiences feelings of shame, disgust and guilt. They will often hide their eating, purging, dieting, and exercising behaviours from their friends and family. People with bulimia regularly have a normal body weight making hiding their condition easier. Bulimia can cause serious health issues such as stomach ulcers, acid reflux and osteoporosis. The cycle of bulimia can lead to obsessions with food, diet, exercise and body image. As with other eating disorders, bulimia is sometimes found in connection with low self-esteem, negative body image, anxiety and depression. If you suffer from bulimia, it is vital to seek professional help. A [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can support you through the recovery process to relearn your approach to food and understand the reasons for your behaviour. With the right help, you can recover. ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Body Image Issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/body-image-issues/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Body Image Issues ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Body Image Issues ## Body image is the way a person feels about their body, and in a society increasingly focused on looks, body image issues are common. In Australia, body dissatisfaction has grown significantly in the past few decades and is now one of the main concerns for young people. The way that a person feels about their appearance can be affected by what they see or hear in the media, as well as how they are treated by their family, friends, acquaintances and teachers. Body image issues – [as well as the eating disorders they often cause](https://nedc.com.au/eating-disorders/eating-disorders-explained/the-facts/eating-disorders-in-australia/) – are steadily rising. A near-constant stream of impossibly perfect, dangerously thin photo-shopped models bombards us all. If you’re already vulnerable to body image problems, then, these images may push you over the edge. At [Three Seas Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling/), we know that body image issues are more than just superficial concerns. Your body image affects everything from your self-esteem to your ability to have healthy romantic relationships. No one deserves to suffer from body image issues alone, and we’ll help you put the pieces of your self-esteem back together. **Body Image Issues and Mental Health** Research suggests that [nearly half of women](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/body-image-and-diets) in a healthy weight range mistakenly believe they’re overweight. While body image issues often centre around weight, they can take many forms. You may find yourself obsessing over perceived imperfections, spending endless hours grooming yourself, desperately trying to lose weight, or outright hating just about every part of your body. When body image issues are so severe that they cripple your judgment, body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is the result. BDD causes you to believe things that are objectively false about your body. For instance, you might believe that you’re fat, or see the crow’s feet under your eyes as evidence that you look 100 years old. BDD is a legitimate mental health condition that necessitates prompt treatment. Even if you don’t have BDD, though, problems with your body image may eventually lead to BDD or eating disorders and can undermine virtually every facet of your life. **Why Are Body Image Issues a Problem?** Those who don’t struggle with body image issues are often eager to dismiss those who do. Body image isn’t a superficial issue. Problems with self-esteem can lead to a number of medical conditions, most notably eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. Tragically, more than 10% of people who struggle with these afflictions eventually die. Depression is similarly common among those with body image challenges. And if you’re in a relationship, you might find that difficulties with body image compromise your relationship, too. Some people with body image issues are unwilling to have sex or be nude in front of their partners. Others seek outside validation by cheating on their partners or gratuitously flirting with people outside the relationship. Body image issues are unlikely to go away on their own. The good news, though, is that these issues are highly treatable, so there’s little reason to suffer alone. **What Causes Body Image Issues?** Body image issues are rarely caused by a single factor. Instead, a complex array of issues increase your odds of struggling with poor body image, including: - [Excessive media consumption. ](https://users.ssc.wisc.edu/~jpiliavi/357/body-image.htm)Even a few minutes spent reading fashion magazines have been shown to lower self-esteem in women. Commercials, billboards, and exposure to images of supermodels can have similar effects. - A history of abuse or trauma - A history of [eating disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anorexia/) - Health problems - Sudden changes in appearance; women who gain weight after pregnancy, for instance, often struggle. - Domestic violence; abusers sometimes tear down their victims’ body image in an attempt to gain more control. - A history of mental illness - Addiction or health problems **How Therapy Can Help** Three Seas Counselling works to uncover the root causes of your body image issues. In most cases, a number of factors combine to destroy your self-esteem. We’ll help you sort through the morass and adopt strategies for coping with unhealthy influences. If negative thoughts about your body cripple your self-esteem, we’ll help you learn to detect these thoughts – while replacing them with more positive ideas. Oftentimes, education about what normal bodies really look like and the challenges of an unrealistic beauty image can work wonders. You don’t deserve to loathe your body; it’s your only home! Let Three Seas help you get back your self-esteem and finally, at long last, learn to love your body, your home. Poor body image can affect every facet of a person’s life. Feeling dissatisfied with your appearance can be damaging and may lead to destructive behaviours such as unhealthy eating, depression, self-medication, unhealthy exercising patterns and even self-harm. Negative body image may further lead to a range of eating disorders such as binge eating, anorexia and [bulimia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bulimia/). Having a positive body image is important for self-esteem, satisfaction and general happiness. Breaking the negative thoughts and behaviours and learning to accept how you look is one of the key factors in achieving a healthy body image. If you are experiencing body image issues, it’s important to seek professional support. A psychologist can help you to learn to change negative thought patterns and behaviours. Choose The Three Seas and find a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) near you! ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Bipolar Disorder Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bipolar-disorder-treatment/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Bipolar Disorder Treatment ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Bipolar Disorder Treatment Bipolar disorder is sometimes also called manic depression. Approximately one in 50 Australians will develop this disorder in the course of their lifetime. ## Bipolar disorder is characterised by extreme moods and mood swings. A person suffering from this condition may experience extreme moods which vry from very low and depressed (depression) to high and over-excited (mania). These moods may last days, weeks or even months. Some people experience more of the manic symptoms than the depressive symptoms, while for others the opposite is true. The severity of the symptoms may also vary from person to person. In extreme cases, a person may experience the symptoms of psychosis where they are unable to distinguish reality from fantasy. Some of the common mania bipolar symptoms include: - Thinking and speaking very quickly - Going without sleep for long periods - Feeling euphoric or energetic - Delusions of importance or grandeur - Irritability and aggression - Reckless behaviours, such as overspending or unsafe sexual activity - Grandiose or unrealistic plans. ![bipolar disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Bipolar-Disorder.webp "Bipolar Disorder - The Three Seas Psychology") The depression bipolar symptoms are the same as those for depression and include: - Extreme low moods - Withdrawal from people and activities - Feelings of sadness and hopelessness - Changes in eating patterns and weight loss or gain - Changes in sleeping patterns - Feelings of anxiety or guilt - Difficulty concentrating - Suicidal thoughts and behaviour The causes of bipolar disorder are under debate, but there is agreement that genetic predispositions and drug or alcohol abuse play a role. Treatment for it may include medical and depressions treatment such as mood stabilising drugs or antidepressants and psychological treatments such as [cognitive behavioural therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/). Often these treatments are used in conjunction with one another. When people experience an acute episode of either mania or depression they may need immediate care and treatment. During these episodes, a person can be of danger to themselves or others. If you or someone you know is suffering from bipolar disorder it is important to get the right help. You can also Meet our [Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) via the link to find out more about the right therapist for you. ## Call out Client Connect Team to book an appointment (03) 9809 1000 ### Contact Us for Appointment General Enquiry - Contact Us for an Appointment - Full Name\* - Phone\* - Preferred Location\*Please SelectMelbourne CityRichmondKnoxFitzroy North - Email\* Submit Δ ## MELBOURNE CITY [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) [ Level 11, 118 Queen St. Melbourne, VIC 3000 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) ## RICHMOND [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) [637-639 Bridge Rd. Richmond, VIC 3121 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) ## WANTIRNA SOUTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) [Level 5, Suite 503, 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South, VIC 3152 ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-westfield-knox/) ## FITZROY NORTH [ ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) [393-395, St Georges Road Fitzroy North, VIC, 3068](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) --- ### [Assessment: YSQ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ysq/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Assessment: YSQ ## [HOME](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) # Assessment: YSQ ### YSQ: Schema Questionnaire - ## Instructions Listed below are statements that people might use to describe themselves. Please read each statement, then rate it based on how accurately it fits you over the past year. When you are not sure, base your answer on what you emotionally feel, not on what you think to be true. A few of the items ask about your relationships with your parents or romantic partners. If any of these people have died, please answer these items based on your relationships when they were alive. If you do not currently have a partner but have had partners in the past, please answer the item based on your most recent significant romantic partner. Choose a score from 1-6 on the rating scale below that best describes you. 1 = Completely untrue of me, 2 = Mostly untrue of me, 3 = Slightly more true than untrue, 4 = Moderately true of me, 5 = Mostly true of me, 6 = Describes me perfectly. - Name First Last - - Name of Practitioner\*Alex Fluker-SmithAnneka RichmondArti RaghuvanshiBarbara ZavrosChloe ChamberlinChristine KerriganGabriel RaeGemma BrownJaimee KrawitzJenny KlimovskiJohanna HartKatarina SimurinaKate MerckelKerry ShortLesley OsenieksMatthew WatsonMisha KaripidisNarisa VormwaldNick BonnerOlivia GracePaul MaloneQusai HussainReeva AshtonRobert van de BergSamantha MordechSarah KingSue ChandrasekaranWilliam SooI dont know Please select the name of your practitioner below. If you are unsure please select 'I dont know' - - 1. I haven’t had someone to nurture me, share him/herself with me, or care about everything that happens to me.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 2. I find myself clinging to people I’m close to because I’m afraid they’ll leave me.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 3. I feel that people will take advantage of me.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 4. I don’t fit in.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 5. No man/woman I desire could love me once he or she saw my defects or flaws.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 6. Almost nothing I do at work (or school) is as good as other people can do.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7. I do not feel capable of getting by on my own in everyday life.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 8. I can’t seem to escape the feeling that something bad is about to happen.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 9. I have not been able to separate myself from my parent(s) the way other people my age seem to.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 10. I think that if I do what I want, I’m only asking for trouble.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 11. I’m the one who usually ends up taking care of the people I’m close to.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 12. I am too self-conscious to show positive feelings to others (e.g., affection, showing care).\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 13. I must be the best at most of what I do; I can’t accept second best.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 14. I have a lot of trouble accepting “no” for and answer when I want something from other people.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 15. I can’t seem to discipline myself to complete most routine or boring tasks.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 16. Having money and knowing important people makes me feel worthwhile.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 17. Even when things seem to be going well, I feel that it is only temporary.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 18. If I make a mistake, I deserve to be punished.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 19. I don’t have people to give me warmth, holding, and affection.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 20. I need other people so much that I worry about losing them.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 21. I feel that I cannot let my guard down in the presence of other people, or else they will intentionally hurt me.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 22. I’m fundamentally different from other people.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 23. No one I desire would want to stay close to me if he or she knew the real me.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 24. I’m incompetent when it comes to achievement.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 25. I think of myself as a dependent person when it comes to everyday functioning.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 26. I feel that a disaster (natural, criminal, financial, or medical) could strike at any moment.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 27. My parent(s) and I tend to be over-involved in each other’s lives and problems.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 28. I feel as if I have no choice but to give in to others more than myself.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 29. I am a good person because I think of others more than myself.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 30. I find it embarrassing to express my feelings to others.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 31. I try to do my best; I can’t settle for “good enough”.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 32. I’m special and shouldn’t have to accept many of the restrictions or limitations placed on other people.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 33. I can’t reach a goal, I become easily frustrated and give up.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 34. Accomplishments are most valuable to me if other people notice them.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 35. If something good happens, I worry that something bad is likely to follow.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 36. If I don’t try my hardest, I should expect to lose out.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 37. I haven’t felt that I am special to someone.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 38. I worry that people I feel close to will leave me or abandon me.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 39. It is only a matter of time before someone betrays me.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 40. I don’t belong; I’m a loner.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 41. I’m unworthy of the love, attention, and respect of others.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 42. Most other people are more capable than I am in areas of work and achievement.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 43. I lack common sense.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 44. I worry about being physically attacked by people.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 45. It is very difficult for my parent(s) and me to keep intimate details from each other without feeling betrayed or guilty.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 46. In relationships, I usually let the other person have the upper hand.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 47. I’m so busy doing things for the people that I care about that I have little time for myself.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 48. I find it hard to be free-spirited and spontaneous around other people.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 49. I must meet all my responsibilities.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 50. I hate to be constrained or kept from doing what I want.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 51. I have a very difficult time sacrificing immediate gratification or pleasure to achieve a long-range goal.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 52. Unless I get a lot of attention from others, I feel less important.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 53. You can’t be too careful; something will almost always go wrong.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 54. If I don’t do the job right, I should suffer the consequences.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 55. I have not had someone who really listens to me, understands me, or is tuned into my true needs and feelings.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 56. When someone I care for seems to be pulling away or withdrawing from me, I feel desperate.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 57. I am quite suspicious of other people’s motives.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 58. I feel alienated or cut off from other people.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 59. I feel that I’m not lovable.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 60. I’m not as talented as most people are at work (or school).\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 61. My judgment cannot be counted on in everyday situations.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 62. I worry that I’ll lose all my money and become destitute or very poor.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 63. I often feel as if my parent’s are living through me – that I don’t have a life of my own.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 64. I’ve always let others make choices for me, so I really don’t know what I want for myself.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 65. I’ve always been the one who listens to everyone else’s problems.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 66. I control myself so much that many people think I am unemotional or unfeeling.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 67. I feel that there is constant pressure for me to achieve and get things done.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 68. I feel that I shouldn’t have to follow the normal rules or conventions that other people do.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 69. I can’t force myself to do things I don’t enjoy, even when I know it’s for my own good.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 70. I make remarks at meetings or when introduced in social situations, it’s important for me to get recognition and admiration.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 71. No matter how hard I work, I worry that I could be wiped out financially and lose almost everything.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 72. It doesn’t matter why I make a mistake. When I do something wrong, I should pay the consequences.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 73. I haven’t had a strong or wise person to give me sound advice or direction when I’m not sure what to do.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 74. Sometimes I am so worried about people leaving me that I drive them away.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 75. I’m usually on the lookout for people’s ulterior or hidden motives.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 76. I always feel on the outside of groups.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 77. I am too unacceptable in very basic ways to reveal myself to other people or to let them get to know me well.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 78. I’m not as intelligent as most people when it comes to work (or school).\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 79. I don’t feel confident about my ability to solve everyday problems that come up.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 80. I worry that I’m developing a serious illness, even though nothing serious has been diagnosed by a doctor.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 81. I often feel I do not have a separate identity, from my parent(s) or partner.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 82. I have a lot of trouble demanding that my rights be respected and that my feelings be taken into account.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 83. Other people see me as doing too much for others and not enough for myself.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 84. People see me as uptight emotionally.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 85. I can’t let myself off the hook easily or make excuses for my mistakes.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 86. I feel that what I have to offer is of greater value than the contributions of others.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 87. I have rarely been able to stick to my resolutions.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 88. Lots of praise and compliments make me feel like a worthwhile person.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 89. I worry that a wrong decision could lead to disaster.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 90. I’m a bad person who deserves to be punished.\* - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - This field is hidden when viewing the form Emotional Deprivation - This field is hidden when viewing the form Abandonment - This field is hidden when viewing the form Mistrust - This field is hidden when viewing the form Social Isolation/Alienation - This field is hidden when viewing the form Defectiveness/Unlovability - This field is hidden when viewing the form Failure to Achieve - This field is hidden when viewing the form Practical Incompetence/Dependance - This field is hidden when viewing the form Vulnerability to Harm - This field is hidden when viewing the form Enmeshment - This field is hidden when viewing the form Subjugation - This field is hidden when viewing the form Self Sacrifice - This field is hidden when viewing the form Emotional Inhibition - This field is hidden when viewing the form Unrelenting Standards - This field is hidden when viewing the form Entitlement/Superiority - This field is hidden when viewing the form Insufficient Self Control/Self-Discipline - This field is hidden when viewing the form Admiration/Recognition Seeking - This field is hidden when viewing the form Pessimism/Worry - This field is hidden when viewing the form Self-Punitiveness Submit Δ --- ### [What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-is-dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt/) **Published:** November 8, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that combines elements of Mindfulness and [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne/ "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne") (CBT) to help individuals manage intense emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Originally developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, DBT was designed to treat individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and those experiencing suicidal thoughts or behaviours. Over time, its applications have expanded, and DBT is now used to effectively support people facing a range of mental health challenges, including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, eating disorders, substance use issues, and emotional dysregulation. DBT is especially valuable for those struggling with overwhelming emotions, self-harm, or other unhelpful coping patterns. It provides practical tools for managing distress and improving emotional and interpersonal functioning, helping individuals lead more balanced and fulfilling lives. ### How Does DBT Work? Traditionally, DBT treatment includes both individual therapy sessions and group skills training on a weekly basis. This dual approach has been shown to provide comprehensive support, allowing clients to apply skills learned in group settings to their personal experiences in individual therapy. However, not everyone is able to commit to group therapy, and DBT-informed individual therapy can also be highly beneficial. In individual [DBT therapy](https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt), you work with your clinician to set personalised goals and focus on specific behaviours or emotions that need to be managed. ### Core Components of DBT DBT is structured around four key skill areas, each designed to target specific challenges: 1. **Mindfulness**: This skill helps individuals become more aware of their thoughts, emotions, and actions in the present moment, promoting acceptance and reducing impulsivity. 2. **Distress Tolerance**: These skills provide strategies for handling difficult or painful situations without resorting to harmful coping mechanisms, fostering resilience in times of crisis. 3. **Emotional Regulation**: DBT teaches tools for understanding and managing intense emotions, enabling individuals to reduce emotional extremes and react more calmly. 4. **Interpersonal Effectiveness**: This component focuses on enhancing communication and relationship skills, helping individuals assert their needs and manage conflicts in a healthy way. These skills can be learned in group programs or in individual sessions, depending on your specific needs and therapy goals. ### Is DBT Right for You? DBT may be a suitable approach if you experience challenges with emotional regulation, self-destructive behaviours, or if other forms of therapy have not fully addressed your needs. Talking to your GP or psychologist can help determine if DBT is the best fit for your therapeutic journey. Together, you can explore whether a structured DBT program or DBT-informed individual therapy might be beneficial for your personal growth and well-being. --- ### [Understanding Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/) **Published:** November 11, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** [thethreeseas.com.au/…-us/melbourne-city-2](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) ### Counselling from a professional psychologist helps in understanding depression and anxiety in either a loved one, or yourself. Depression is a serious disorder and can be caused by any number of things. Depression is common among Australians, with an average of 20% of us experiencing a depressive disorder in our lifetime. While everyone feels down from time to time, feelings of depression last for weeks or months, and are generally quite severe. [![PTSD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/iStock_000019248590_Large-cp-720x480.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/iStock_000019248590_Large-cp.jpg) Other symptoms of depression can include: - Low mood - Persistent negative thoughts - Troubled sleeping patterns - Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness - Irritability and aggression - Loss of interest in daily activities - Changes in appetite - Increased drug or alcohol consumption - Difficulty concentrating - Reckless behaviour - Suicidal thoughts Depression can impact so many areas of our lives, from our relationships, to our work, home and social lives, as well as physical life. But there’s help out there, and you don’t have to be alone in this. Our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) are trained in a wide range of techniques to help you to understand and work through your depression, including the gold standard cognitive behavioural therapy. While it may not be easy, recovery from depression is possible, and we are here to support you, for as long as it takes. Our client Connect Team will match you up with a suitable Psychologist based on your needs. Call today (03) 9809 1000 - [40+ Team of Psychologists, Provisional Psychologists & Counsellors](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) - 4 Melbourne Locations — [NORTHCOTE](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/northcote/) | [KNOX](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/westfield-knox/) | [RICHMOND](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/richmond/) | [CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/melbourne-city/) - [Family Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) - [Couples/Relationship Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) - [Medicare Rebates available](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq-and-rebates/) - Open Late / After Hours ## Depression Test A depression test is a means of determining whether a person is depressed or just experiencing a temporary low mood. The Kessler Psychological Distress Scale (also known as the K10 scale) is one of the most common test methods used by your GP to simply identify and measure levels of psychological distress. The K10 scale consists of 10 questions about a person’s emotional states each with a five-level response scale. For each question, a score is given depending on the answer on the five-level scale. The total tally indicates a person’s level of distress. If your GP finds you are depressed then they will recommend putting in place a [Mental Health Care Plan](https://www1.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing.nsf/content/mental-ba-fact-pat) and refer you to a psychologist for counselling. You can request to see a Three Seas [Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) at this point. They may also recommend anti-depression medication. Take our [Depression Quiz](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-quiz/) for self reference. ### Depression Signs in Children and Adolescents It is often differently expressed from children to adults. What they have in common is that counselling from a professional psychologist helps. Here is a non-exhaustive list of signs of depression in children and adolescents: - Mentions feeling hopeless or worthless. - Changes in behaviour like being: sad; irritable; withdrawn and unemotional; lacking in energy, and suddenly bored a lot of the time. - Have trouble concentrating, thinking, or making decisions. - No longer taking pleasure in things he or she used to enjoy. - Sudden loss of interest in friends. - Sudden weight loss or gain. - Over or under sleeping. - Think about death or suicide a lot. - They may complain of headaches or stomach aches. - A child may be more anxious or clingy with caregivers. - Some teens and children with severe depression can even hallucinate or have delusions. It’s important to recognise the depression symptoms in children and yourself. Depression Symptoms in children might be a bad mood or negative feelings that have been present all the time. Here is a list of the types of symptoms you might notice or they might be feeling and describe to you: Behaviour changes you might notice: **Your child seems:** - overwhelmed - irritable - frustrated - lacking in confidence - indecisive - disappointed - Your child is not going out anymore - Your child is withdrawing from close family - Your child gives up activities that they usually enjoy - Your child may be relying on alcohol and sedatives to unwind **Teachers may give feedback:** - that your child is unable to concentrate - is not getting things done at work/school - is withdrawing from friends - is more uncommunicative **They may say they feel:** - sad all the time - miserable - guilty - useless **They may feel or say they feel:** - Their Life’s not worth living. - Nothing good ever happens to them and no one cares. - They’re at fault for unknown reasons. - They have failed or are a failure. - They are worthless or useless. - People would be better off without them around. **Physical symptoms include:** - Exhaustion - Lethargy - Run down - Headaches - Muscle pains or cramps - Butterflies in the stomach - Tiredness and fatigue - Trouble with concentrating - Sleeping problems - Change of appetite - Weight gain or loss It ranges from mild to severe and one who feels a bit unhappy most of the time for a year or more may have a milder, ongoing form of depression called dysthymia. In its most severe form, it can cause low esteem and make you feel hopeless with the feeling of no longer wanting to live. It is treatable and talking to a fully trained psychologist is one of the best options. Help with [depression](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/depression) can often start with a visit to a GP who can give them/you a test to help diagnose the problem more accurately. If they have depression they can get a referral to see one of our psychologists and begin the healing process. **Call to book an appointment now (03) 9809 1000** --- ### [Telehealth and Telephone Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) **Published:** March 26, 2020 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Our psychologists have undergone extensive training in order to help individuals effectively manage stress, anxiety, panic, grief and other psychological concerns. Whether this is **face-to-face, online counselling, telehealth and telephone counselling**, it is extremely important to seek professional help if you are experiencing psychological distress. ## Telehealth FAQ’s **How do Telehealth (online) consultations work?** At The three Seas Group, we use a videoconferencing platform called [Zoom](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/). Once an appointment has been arranged with your psychologist, we share a link with you via email. Once you have clicked on this link, your video session will automatically launch. **What (if any) devices do I need in order to access Telehealth (online) services?** You will need a device (computer or smartphone) with internet connection in order for the link to work. You may want to consider a quiet location in your home (or car) to secure your own privacy during these sessions. **Do I need to download Zoom on my device to access my online session?** You are not required to download any software in order for the link to work. **What happens if I click the link before my appointment has been scheduled?** Your Telehealth session will be scheduled for a specific time, so there may be restrictions on accessing your session before this. You can test this if you like (no dire consequences if you do). The link will expire at the conclusion of your appointment. **Do I need an email address?** Yes, you will need an active email account in order for us to share the link with you. **Is my session recorded?** No. We comply with Privacy laws and treat client confidentiality with utmost importance. To read about our confidentiality agreement, please read : **Can I see both my own and my psychologists face during the session?** The platform, Zoom allows you to see both your own and your psychologist’s face. Your psychologist’s face will be in the centre of the screen while he/she is talking; and your face may appear in a separate smaller window to the left or right of your screen. To avoid seeing your own face (if this is uncomfortable for you), a small ‘X’ will appear in the corner of the window within which your videocam appears. This will hide the view of your face on your screen but not the psychologists screen. If you feel uncomfortable with videoconferencing, phone consultations are available as an alternative. **Talking to my psychologist through my computer or phone seems strange and impersonal. What feedback do you have about this?** [Research](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29257195?log$=activity) has indicated that therapeutic interactions where the client and psychologist are physically present in the same room or space have no significant advantage over other face-to-face interactions such as video-conferencing (ie via platforms such as Zoom, Skype, or FaceTime). So long as the practitioner and the client can directly observe one another’s face, the therapeutic benefits of Telehealth (online) services are much the same as with physical presence. Having said this, we do understand that it can be a strange experience the first few times you engage in online [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). Here are some tips to help ease any discomfort you may experience before, during, or after your Telehealth experience. 1. Find a comfortable, quiet space within your home. Make sure this is private and away from distractions or other loud noises. Some recommendation from psychologists is to conduct the session in your car using your phone or other device. 2. Find a pair of headphones to use throughout your session. This will increase privacy measures. 3. If you wish to hide your face from your own view, please click the ‘X’ in the top right corner of your videocam view (the window that shows your face only). Some clients may find the view of their face distracting or uncomfortable. 4. Utilise the chat function to share links or resources with your practitioner. This is a major advantage of online therapy. If you would like to share homework (therapeutic), questionnaire/assessment results, or other relevant documentation, you can do this easily by sharing a link or PDF document with your practitioner. You can book an appointment via Telehealth using the above link ‘BOOK NOW’. Appointments are available for both NEW and EXISTING clients. --- ### [Suicide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/suicide/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## If you are contemplating suicide, ## please call Lifeline 13 11 14 or 000. It is not uncommon for children and adolescents to have feelings so bleak they become suicidal thoughts. Fortunately though, according to official data, child suicide (5-15 years’ old) is a rare event in Australia and Victoria had the second lowest standardised rates of suicide over a five-year period (9.7 per 100,000). These figures do not belittle how important it is to monitor the mental health of children and adolescents. There are many stresses, strains or events in a young persons’ life that can make them feel hopeless, trapped, depressed, angry and worthless with no sense of purpose. Triggers can include: - Depression - Family troubles - Abuse – sexual, physical or emotional - School or university - Relationship break-ups - Drug or alcohol problems - Major grief and loss e.g. death or the suicide of a friend or family member - Feeling like they don’t belong anywhere - Any problem for which there appears no solution High-risk groups include: - People who have attempted suicide before - People with major depression, psychotic illnesses and eating disorders - People recently discharge from hospital or when treatment has been reduced - People who abuse alcohol or drugs - Males are around 3.3 times more likely to die by suicide than females. - Young Aboriginal Torres Strait Islander males (15-19 years) are 4.4 times more likely to die by suicide than are other young Australian males. Similarly, young Aboriginal Torres Strait Islander females (15-19 years) are 5.9 times more likely to die by suicide than are other young females. With dozens of private [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) to choose from, you deserve to get the very best possible care. ### If you are concerned about a child or adolescent’s mental health and worry they may be at risk of suicide, call the Three Seas Psychology Group today for an appointment to see a psychologist. --- ### [Social media and gaming addiction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-media-and-gaming-addiction/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## The internet has reinvented how we socialise, access information and entertain ourselves. It is easy to suffer from social media and gaming addiction since we are more socially connected than ever before, with games, web apps. and social media. Sometimes, online connections with friends, family, peers and colleagues can in itself become an social media and gaming addiction. Some feel an overpowering urge to always know what is happening for others or to over-share details from their own lives. This is an addiction and is driven by the same dopamine hit that many other [addictions ](http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Internet_addiction)are caused by. If this behaviour starts interfering with [relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) and [life goals](https://thethreeseas.com.au/life-coaching/), it’s important to seek help from a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). Gaming is a similar addiction with a dopamine reaction being given each time a goal is achieved. Games are created with this in mind and often there are penalties for not continuing to play. Gaming is also now socially connected with many gamers from around the world playing the same game. Living in the virtual world also allows gamers to escape who they are in the real world and be someone else entirely. Internet usage, social media usage and gaming are similar in their effects on the brain and can remain harmless if they are controlled. Out of control and as addictions they can be harmful and, in extreme cases, may lead some people to play or interact all night and to neglect meals and other responsibilities. **If you have a problem with social media, gaming or internet usage generally, a Three Seas Psychologist can help.** **At The Three Seas we offer face-to-face consultations as well as a variety of online therapy options such as telehealth, zoom counselling and [phone consultations](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/). To enquire, please call [(03) 9809 1000](tel:0398091000).** --- ### [Social Anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-anxiety/) **Published:** February 28, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## What is Social Anxiety? Everyone feels shy or anxious from time to time, but social anxiety goes much deeper than normal social jitters. People with social anxiety feel terror around others, and may be so debilitated by their anxiety that they cease attempting to create new relationships. Social anxiety is intensely isolating. Many people with the condition desperately seek connections (we all do!), but don’t have the skills necessary to overcome their anxiety and build strong relationships. Without connections and valuable relationships, you can easily find yourself thrown into a cycle of self-loathing, depression, and isolation. For some, the fear of social interaction is so strong that they develop [agoraphobia](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/agoraphobia): a fear of leaving the home. Others experience intense [panic attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks/) that can make it frightening to be alone in public or interfere with their ability to interact socially. ### What Are the Symptoms of Social Anxiety? If you think you have social anxiety, check out these common symptoms: - Persistently avoiding social situations. - Sacrificing career or educational goals because of fear about social interactions - Experiencing anxiety or panic during social interactions - Being preoccupied with concerns that people don’t like you or are judging you - Being afraid to leave your home The physical and psychological symptoms of a social anxiety disorder include: - An urge to flee from the social situation - Perspiration and sweaty palms - Muscle tension - Trembling - Stomach pain - Increased heart rate - Diarrhea - Nausea - Blushing - Stammering - Dry mouth and difficulty talking - Feeling faint or light-headed - Feelings of self-doubt - Difficulty concentrating Often a person who is suffering from these symptoms fears that others will notice the symptoms and this exacerbates the anxiety. Sufferers of social anxiety will avoid situations that they fear will trigger their anxiety. This can negatively impact on a person’s life. ### What Causes Social Anxiety? Social anxiety is not well-understood, which means that, as research progresses, we may gain keener insights into why some people experience social anxiety even as others do not. For now, we know that a number of risk factors increase your likelihood of developing social anxiety. These include: - A family history of social anxiety —children of people with social anxiety may develop the condition through genetic means, or could “learn” social anxiety after a lifetime of watching mom or dad struggle with it. - A history of trauma —people who have experienced violence at the hands of other people are especially vulnerable to social anxiety. - A prior history of mental illness - A childhood history of abuse or trauma - A recent life transition — someone who’s recently gone through a divorce or moved halfway across the country may feel increasingly anxious in their new surroundings. Of course, these are just risk factors. It’s possible to get social anxiety disorder for no clear reason, and many people with no risk factors at all also develop the condition. What matters most is not why you have social anxiety, but what you can do about it. And at Three Seas Counselling, we offer you world-class assistance to move beyond the pain of social anxiety. ### How We Can Help — Its Time To Overcome Social Anxiety As with other anxiety disorders, social anxiety is often found in connection with other mental health issues such as depression, low self-esteem and alcohol and drug abuse. It is important to seek help if you are experiencing stress and anxiety in social contexts. Social anxiety can be treated using medical (drug) or psychological approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy. Three Seas offers intensive counselling that can help you: - Understand why you are anxious - Dissect choices that may be contributing to your anxiety - Offer you coping mechanisms - Help you master new social skills - Offer you a path out of anxiety Our counsellors work with you to develop a tailored approach that will treat your anxiety in a way that feels safe and comfortable. We offer confidential, judgment-free settings for [anxiety counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) where you can safely explore your emotions. We know it’s not easy to seek counselling when you struggle with social anxiety, but we use the therapeutic relationship as a testing ground for working beyond anxiety. You can get better, but you won’t without treatment. Let The Three Seas do the heavy lifting to pull you out of a life of anxiety and into a life of engaged social commitments. ### Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) for therapy,To book an appointment please call (03) 9809 1000 --- ### [Sex Addiction Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-addiction-counselling/) **Published:** April 6, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Do you control your sex life, or does it control you? Sex addiction is a controversial condition – one which has become a hot topic for conversation after celebrities like Michael Douglas, Tiger Woods and Russel Brand have opened up about suffering from it. But what exactly is sex addiction? Is it a real disorder, or just an excuse drawn upon by cheaters and celebrities when they get into trouble? Read on to learn more about the psychology of sex addiction and what can be done to treat it. #### **What is Sex Addiction?[![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/6-650x650.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/6.jpg)** Sex addicts struggle with overpowering compulsions to think about and act out their sexual urges. [Research](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4500883/#s3title) suggests that between 3 and 6 percent of people around the world struggle with this condition. Some red-flag behaviours include: - Having extra-marital affairs and/or multiple sex partners - Excessive masturbation or porn-viewing - Frequently having risky sex - Using prostitutes - Sexually harassing others Having said that, just because you watch porn, forget to be safe in bed or think about sex several times a day, that doesn’t make you a sex addict. > ## Believe it or not, sex addiction isn’t really about sex – it’s about control. What do we mean? It’s normal and expected to have a healthy sexual appetite. In fact, someone who *doesn’t* enjoy sex might be struggling with an underlying psychological or medical condition! Sexual behaviours only become problematic when we lose our control over them, when we become completely dependent on them to cope with our emotions or when other aspects of our lives start to suffer because of our addiction to sex. ![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Screen-Shot-2018-04-06-at-10.24.43-am-1.png) For example, sex addicts might spend so much time watching porn or masturbating that they fail to get a full eight hours of sleep. They would then find it difficult to stay alert the next day at work – and their work performance might also suffer because they spend much of their day thinking about sex. The relationships of sex addicts also suffer: your partner might experience you as distant or there might be conflict because of repeated incidents of cheating. You could also find that you’re struggling financially after spending huge amounts of money on porn or prostitutes. Sex addicts often feel overwhelming guilt and shame about their behaviour. Nonetheless, they depend on sex as a coping mechanism to block-out and distract them from the difficulties of life. They need sexual pleasure in the same way that an alcoholic needs a drink after a difficult day. Many sex addicts want to cut-down and they realize that their behaviour is causing serious problems in their life; but no matter how hard they try, they can’t seem to curb the addiction. #### **Is It Real?** Sex addiction is a controversial condition. Some organizations, such as the World Health Organization and the American Society of Addiction Medicine, say that excessive sexual behaviour should be treated just like any other addiction. Others, such as the American Psychiatric Association, say that there isn’t enough evidence to recognize it. Of course, this might just mean that not enough research has been done! What does the science say about it? Although conclusive research is limited, one [study](http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0102419) used brain imaging technology and found striking similarities between the brains of sex addicts and people using illegal drugs, such as heroin. What does this tell us? Compulsive sexual engagement leads to real, observable changes in the brain; and the brain of a sex-addict behaves in a very similar way to the brains of drug users. This sort of research shows us just how real and overpowering the urges of sex addicts can be. As a result, many doctors [around the world](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/add.13366) are taking this disorder seriously, often using medical loopholes to diagnose and treat their patients despite the disorder’s lack of official recognition. Here in Australia many medical doctors [reportedly](http://www.news.com.au/national/doctors-see-a-rise-in-australian-patients-seeking-treatment-for-sex-addiction/news-story/3ca2dc44780493209b1298ab1e873916) see sex addiction as a serious condition; and it seems that our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) are getting more and more requests to assist clients in managing this condition. #### **How Can The Three Seas Help?** There are a wide range of treatment options for people who need support in regaining control over their sex lives. However, unlike approaches to drug or alcohol use, sex-addiction interventions don’t aim for complete abstinence. Rather, we would help you to foster a more balanced and healthy relationship to sex. Let’s take a look at some of the more common approaches for achieving this: [*Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)*](https://thethreeseas.com.au/3221-2/) is a popular form of individual therapy. It’s usually done face-to-face, over a period of several weeks. CBT targets problematic thought patterns which often lead people to engage in unwanted sexual behaviours. When you engage in these behaviours, you are also likely to feel ashamed or remorseful about them, which leads you to engage in even more sexual acts as a way of making yourself feel better. CBT aims to break this vicious cycle, by giving you the tools to change the way that you think, feel and act. Another option is [*Psychodynamic Therapy*](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalysis-psychodynamic-therapy/), which focuses on the unconscious forces that often underlie addictive behaviour. For example, experiences of sexual or emotional abuse that happened earlier on can lead us to develop a fragile self-esteem and difficulties with regulating our emotions. All of these can make it more likely for us to engage in sex-addicted behaviours and psychodynamic therapy provides a space for understanding and working through those things that happened in our past, thereby helping us to take control of our current behaviour. *[Couples therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/)* and *family therapy* are both useful when a one’s sex addiction has had a detrimental impact on one’s relationships. For example, these approaches are great for addressing emotional wounds and trust-ruptures that have been caused by sexual infidelity. Couples and family counselling seek to understand the underlying factors in the relationship that are causing or enabling a person’s sex-addicted behaviour; and they also work towards strengthening the communication pathways necessary for having relationships characterised by trust and safety. [*Group Therapy*](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) for sex addiction is usually based on the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program. This treats sex addiction in the same way that it would for other problems such as drug or alcohol use. From this perspective, the group provides a supportive space in which to discuss and manage your addiction. New participants are usually paired with a ‘sponsor’ – a more experienced group member who endeavours to guide and support the newcomer through their process of recovery. When it comes to *pharmacotherapy* (i.e. medication), [evidence](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11795580) suggests that a type of antidepressant (SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) can reduce the number of powerful sexual urges that addicts experience. Many people who struggle with sex addiction may [also have depression](http://pegasus.cc.ucf.edu/~drbryce/Treating_the_Sexually_Addicted_Client.pdf); and in these situations, medication can help address both problems at the same time. #### **Summing Up** Because sex addiction is such a controversial topic, the people who struggle with it often feel embarrassed and ashamed about speaking out and looking for help. It certainly doesn’t help that the psychiatric world is filled with debate and uncertainty as to how exactly sex addiction should be categorised and diagnosed. But despite all the politics and debate, one thing is for sure: there are those among us who desperately need help in controlling their sexual behaviours. Fortunately, support is available. If you feel that you or someone you know is struggling with sex addiction, speak to us about getting the support that you need and deserve! --- ### [Self-harm](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-harm/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Self-harm is on the increase and is found in young people of any age. There is no single cause for self-harm but rather than being a cry for help or an attempt at suicide, it is often a way for overwhelming emotions to be released by young people when they can’t express how they’re feeling. Self-harmers often say they can feel the release and actually feel better afterwards. This can often be short-lived, and along with the danger of the act and pain, it is often backed up by other negative emotions like guilt. Unfortunately some self-harming can be copied or learnt, this can be transmitted within friendship groups or by copying from the media. The harm itself can take many forms: cutting, biting and burning are all common and the cause of the self-harm isn’t always clear and the reasons for such a strong response are often not even understood by the child themselves. There is often a link between depression and self-harm and the self-harmer is often found to be a victim of abuse, bullying or just overwhelming pressure of some kind. They sometimes say they have to punish themselves for some reason. Things to look for are: - Changes in behaviour and withdrawl The physical effects, which they may seek to hide: - Bruises - Missing patches of hair – pulled out - Cuts - Scratches - Depression including low self-esteem and self-blame - Changes in eating habits; sudden weight loss or gain - Risk taking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs Speaking with a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help the self-harmer to understand the root cause of their trouble. Strategies can be put in place to help them deal with the stress of their situation without leading to this extreme behaviour. To the uninitiated, self-harm can seem like an attempt at suicide. The truth is that self-harm is a highly complex issue, and not all people who harm themselves want to die – or even be hurt. Maybe you know why you hurt yourself. Perhaps you’re worried about someone you love. Or maybe you engage in self- harm but you’re not sure why. Three Seas Counselling can help you explore issues related to self-harm, gain a deeper understanding of why you hurt yourself, and help you put in place the tools you need to stop hurting yourself once and for all. Self-harm is particularly prevalent among teenagers, [one in 12 of whom hurt themselves](http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/11/17/us-self-harm-idUSTRE7AG02520111117), according to one study. ## What is Self-Harm? Self-harm is a continuum of behaviors ranging from accidentally harming yourself in reaction to stress to more deliberate harming. At one end of the continuum, for instance, a person might become so upset that she begins scratching her face without even knowing it. At the more severe end, a person might cut her arms or wrists to deal with intense emotional pain. People who harm themselves do not do so intending to commit suicide, though they may also experience suicidal feelings. Importantly, it’s possible to accidentally develop serious injuries as a result of self-harm, and some people even accidentally kill themselves. Some suicides may actually be self-harm episodes gone awry. ## Why Do People Hurt Themselves? There’s no single reason people engage in self-harm. Many, though, report that it’s an easier way of coping with emotional pain. When the physical pain begins, people who self-harm experience a sort of release of built-up emotional pressure. For this reason, many people who self-harm do so on a cyclical basis. Some people engage in self-harm because they’ve simply learned that it’s the only way to cope with their feelings. Perhaps a parent, friend, or sibling self-harms, or maybe they saw it on television and it seemed like a good idea. Though self-harm is not itself genetic, the mental health problems that can lead to self-harm are often genetic. Thus a person whose family members experience depression is much more likely to engage in self-harm. A popular misconception about self-harm is that it’s an attention-seeking, manipulative behavior. People don’t engage in self-harm to manipulate others, and treating them as if they do can exacerbate the behavior, not to mention the painful emotions that underpin it. Self-harm is a misguided attempt to deal with challenging emotions, and stigmatizing those who engage in self-harm will not help them. ## What Can I Do to Stop? If you or someone you love engages in self-harm, the key to kicking this behavior to the curb is to address the emotions that underlie it. It’s not possible to eliminate painful feelings, but counselling can help you find better ways of dealing with these feelings. Your therapist will first help you gain a better understanding of why you harm yourself and what benefits you get from self-harm. After all, you wouldn’t do it if you didn’t get something out of it. From there, you’ll work to uncover safer, healthier coping mechanisms. If you have an underlying mental illness, such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, your therapist can also help you manage these conditions without harming yourself. In some cases, you may need to take medication to reduce your symptoms. Three Seas can help you select a prescribing physician and select the perfect medication. We’ll also work with you to determine whether any healthy lifestyle choices, such as exercise, making more friends, or adopting a new hobby, might help you cope more effectively. ### Call the Three Seas Psychology Group today to book an appointment for yourself or your child. --- ### [Self-esteem counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-esteem-counselling/) **Published:** November 6, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Low self-esteem in adults can be a very limiting factor to their enjoyment of life and can also hold a person back from succeeding in all areas of their life. A person can develop a low opinion of themselves in a few different ways, but it is often due to their upbringing or a relationship. Abuse can trigger low self-esteem because the abuser often puts down the victim as part of asserting their emotional control over them. When you look into the mirror, what do you see? Do you struggle to look past your failings? Do you consistently feel like you don’t measure up when compared to others? Are you preoccupied by concerns that, if other people really knew you, they most certainly would not like you? Self-esteem issues can turn you from a vibrant, happy, productive member of society into a bitter, self-loathing pessimist. Your self-esteem affects everything you do because it determines what you think you can do. And, of course, people are much more likely to succeed when they think they can do something! Three Seas offers comprehensive counselling for people struggling with an array of self-esteem issues. WE can help you finally feel good about the person you see looking back when you glance in the mirror. **Self-Esteem Matters** It’s easy to write self-esteem off as a trivial matter, but a positive self-image is anything but. Self-esteem touches virtually every component of our lives. Why? Because people who have faith in their own abilities are more likely to persist in the face of difficulty. And of course, the willingness to keep going increases your chances of success and boosts your confidence in yourself. For children self-esteem is even more important. Positive self-esteem is correlated with everything from a reduced risk of using drugs to a better chance at graduating high school. Positive self-esteem may even [help you live longer](https://www.creators.com/read/david-lipschitz-lifelong-health/12/13/high-self-esteem-is-a-powerful-predictor-of-a-longer-and-happier-life)! Sadly, people with low self-esteem often think they don’t’ deserve to feel any better, but this is simply untrue. Everyone deserves to feel good about himself or herself, and the right counselling intervention can help you adopt a healthier approach to your self-image. **What is Healthy Self-Esteem?** Some clients come into our offices worried that increasing their self-esteem will turn them into narcissistic megalomaniacs. But healthy self-esteem is about self-acceptance, not self-aggrandisement. People with healthy self-esteem believe that they have inherent worth. They’re confident that with hard work they can accomplish their goals, but they’re also not delusional about their abilities. When they experience setbacks, they may be disappointed, but they rely on themselves to get back to the drawing board and work harder and smarter next time. In other words, healthy self-esteem isn’t about thinking you’re the best at everything. Instead, it’s about accepting yourself, practicing self-reliance, and resilience in the face of setbacks. While low self-esteem makes life worse and offers you nothing of value, healthy self-esteem enables you to thrive even in difficult circumstances. **Signs of Self-Esteem Issues** One of the cruel ironies of low self-esteem is that many people with self-esteem problems actually believe they deserve to feel badly about themselves! But feeling badly about yourself only harms you; no one deserves this suffering. Some signs you may be struggling with low self-esteem include: - A chronic sense of shame, guilt, or embarrassment - Believing that you deserve for bad things to happen to you - Difficulty accepting help - Poor body image - Suicidal thoughts and feelings - Depression - Isolation and loneliness - Difficulty accepting criticism - Difficulty making or keeping friendships - Lying to cover up your failings - Believing that you do not have the power to make your life better - You feel envious of others - You think your life is worse than just about everyone else’s - You think everyone else is better at most things than you are **How Therapy Helps** Low self-esteem is often the product of a lifetime of pain. From failed relationships to childhood bullying, myriad factors can convince you that you’re simply unworthy. Oftentimes the negative thoughts you repeat to yourself, the false narratives of failure you contemplate over and over, and your willingness to believe the bad things other people say about you play a role. At Three Seas Counselling, we unpack these false negative beliefs. We know everyone has value, and we diligently work to help you uncover your own value. We offer you healthy coping skills, tools for addressing automatic negative self-talk, and the safety of a non judgmental space where you can share freely. You don’t have to suffer with low self-esteem forever. Indeed, you may find your life totally transformed after just a few counselling sessions. Symptoms of low self-esteem which you may recognise in yourself or others include, but are not limited to: - Self-deprecation and not putting yourself first - Self-neglect - Socially withdrawing - Trouble accepting compliments - Feeling anxious - A drop in self-confidence. - Depression - Dwelling on the negative in oneself - Exaggerated concern for other people’s opinions - Treating yourself poorly - Worrying that you have treated others badly - Avoiding challenges - Lack of trust in your own opinion - Expecting a bad life for yourself You can’t make someone believe they are better by duress. Professional counselling from a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) is one of the only ways to break through this negative thought process and often rigidly held belief system. ### Call today if you are suffering with low self-esteem and make an appointment to see a psychologist. --- ### [Self belief and confidence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-belief-and-confidence/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** If you had to pick one aspect of a person’s upbringing that can lead to their success in life and overall happiness, it would have to be how deeply their self-esteem and self-belief foundations are laid. Parents who create these feelings of self-worth in their children and adolescents are sowing the seeds for future confidence, mental health and social happiness. Psychologists are experts in how the early stages of brain development affect the adult later in life and speaking with a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can arm you with tools to lead a happier life. Poor self-esteem very often leads to behavioural problems. Children and adolescents who like themselves often get along with others better and this often is further reflected in how they perform at school, work and in their relationships. Promoting your child’s self belief and confidence doesn’t mean creating an arrogant, egotistical or narcissistic person. Helping your child build self-confidence is vital, but it needs to be done with a realistic understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. Encouraging children to use their strengths, while working to improve the weaknesses or negative areas is a healthy approach to character building. **What can parents do?** Raising children is a tricky business. When it comes to instilling self-esteem in children you need to start with yourself. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, it is possible that you will pass that on to your child. Building your own self-esteem and confidence and being a positive role model for your child or adolescent can make a big difference. Seeing a psychologist can help you unlock the reasons for your low self-esteem. Showing respect to your child is vital. Simple things like the way you play with them and talk to them make a difference. Being realistic about your child and their abilities is also important. They might not be good at the things you were good at as a child, their genetics are a lottery for what has been passed on to them from their parents. Recognise what your child’s special talents are, help them build on these strengths and the whole person will flourish. One thing is for sure, your child can excel at being themselves if you let them. They need to know that your love does not depend on their performance. ### For help with these issues, call today to make an appointment with a Three Seas Psychologist. --- ### [Depression Quiz](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne-2-2/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/depression-quiz/) **Published:** April 10, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Only a physician or mental health expert can formally diagnose you with [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/), but the below quiz can help you determine whether you might benefit from professional help. A score of eight or higher indicates a high risk of depression, while a score of five or higher indicates a moderate risk. ## Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings For each question you answer “yes” to, give yourself four points: - Do you ever think suicide might be the best option? - Have you attempted suicide before? - Do you engage in self-harm, such as cutting or skin-picking? - Do you have a plan for your suicide? ## Physical Depression Symptoms Many people with depression experience symptoms associated with both physical and mental health. While health problems can be caused by a number of different factors, there are certain physical symptoms to watch out for that may indicate depression. Give yourself one point for each question to which you answer yes: - Do you have unexplained aches and pains, such as chronic headaches or back pain? - Do you have trouble sleeping at night? - Are you suddenly gaining or losing weight? - Do you eat too much, or struggle to maintain your appetite? - Do you find yourself sleeping too much? - Do you suffer from unexplained gastrointestinal or stomach problems? - Do you get sick more frequently than you once did? - Do you use painkillers, alcohol, or illegal drugs to manage your symptoms? (only give yourself a point if you use these aids without the assistance of a physician). ## Psychological Depression Symptoms Emotional symptoms are the most common symptoms of depression. Assign yourself two points for each question to which you answer yes: - Do you feel angrier than usual, or frequently have angry outbursts during which you yell, become violent, or break things? - Do you feel hopeless about your life? - Are you sad more than usual? - Are you plagued by feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or shame? - Do you think your life can never be good? - Do you feel like there’s no point in trying any more? - Do you think everyone’s life is better than yours? - Are you frequently distracted? - Do you struggle with procrastination more than you used to? ## Relationship Symptoms While relationships can encounter difficulties for a number of reasons. Many people with depression allow it to affect their relationships. Some people may even experience depression because of troubled relations. Give yourself one point for each question you answer yes to: - Has someone you loved suggested you might be depressed? - Do you find that the people in your life don’t offer you enough support? - Do you often get angry at loved ones? - Have you recently suffered the loss of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship? - Do you struggle to feel close to others? If you think you might have [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/), don’t hesitate to seek help. Depression tends to get worse over time, so seeking treatment now is the very best thing you can to ensure your long-term well-being.Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) for therapy. --- ### [Psychodynamic Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychodynamic-therapy/) **Published:** April 6, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Feeling good about ourselves, having loving [relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) and satisfying work are goals that most of us aspire to. However, sometimes dealing constructively with painful or harmful events, and engaging within relationships in a meaningful and productive way can feel very difficult. Despite our best intentions and application of various psychological ‘strategies’ we can find ourselves in a rut, and although we want to change, we don’t seem to be able to. Psychodynamic therapy aims to uncover deep habitual patterns that we may not be aware of, and assists us to develop a deeper and more authentic understanding of ourselves. Uncovering these mental, emotional, instinctual, and relational patterns can be very challenging because over the years our coping mechanisms may have created unhelpful ways of thinking about issues or relating to others.[![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Screen-Shot-2018-03-15-at-11.18.27-am-720x478.png)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Screen-Shot-2018-03-15-at-11.18.27-am.png) Our coping mechanisms protect us from pain, but they can also prevent us accessing true feelings which can lead to chronic or acute symptoms of [anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/), [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/), or challenges and difficulties relating with one’s self or others. Developing a deeper understanding of ourselves and the way we relate with others can be a highly rewarding and empowering process. For example, a man who experiences depression may understand how high expectations undermine his capacity to relate authentically with himself and others. A woman who is anxious may discover how her compulsive habits cover over her need to feel secure. Or a woman who is lonely may discover that she create her own island by denying her need for others. In therapy, the patient is encouraged to explore any issues that come to mind, irrespective of how difficult, angry, painful or intense these thoughts or feelings may be. Psychodynamic therapists are trained to guide patients to explore their thoughts and emotions with patience, care, expertise and safety. The therapist supports the patient to understand and articulate conscious and unconscious aspects of their mind with depth, presence and clarity, resulting in a deeper understanding of one’s self and more healthy and rewarding ways of relating with others. --- ### [Psychoanalysis & Psychodynamic Therapy in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalysis-psychodynamic-therapy-in-melbourne/) **Published:** March 16, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Misconceptions about therapy often lead people to believe that only those labeled as crazy or with deep-seated issues seek help from mental health professionals. This belief is far from the truth. Understanding the intricacies of therapy can be challenging, but it’s important to realize that consulting with a psychodynamic therapist is not exclusive to those with a ‘disturbed’ or ‘disrupted self.’ It’s entirely normal to grapple with feelings of confusion, anxiety, or low moods and find challenges in areas like relationships, family dynamics, or career choices. Such difficulties are part of the human experience. Seeking help, such as Psychoanalysis & Psychodynamic Therapy in Melbourne, is a natural response to these challenges. There’s no specific criteria you must meet. Anyone can benefit from therapy by being open and respectful of the psychodynamic therapeutic process. [![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Screen-Shot-2018-03-16-at-12.33.28-pm-444x650.png)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Screen-Shot-2018-03-16-at-12.33.28-pm.png)With many different approaches to psychotherapy (counselling), Psychologists may choose to use the most effective treatment that suits the issue a client may present with, this may include those that cultivate insight (acquiring understanding and expanding awareness) in conjunction with, or as an aside to, cognitive approaches such as [Cognitive Behavioural Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/). Within the scope of insight therapies, there are two prominent approaches: humanistic, focusing on self-actualization and positive belief, and psychodynamic therapies, in addition to person-centered therapies. ## What is Psychodynamic Therapy? ### **A sub-branch of Psychoanalysis** Psychodynamic therapy owes legacy to Sigmund Freud through the development of a psychological medicine he called, *Psychoanalysis,* which was one of the first psychotherapeutic approaches. Freud believed that by uncovering the original source of our neurosis (troubled minds), which most often occurs during childhood, we could achieve insight into our unconscious mind, and likewise, by uncovering the unconscious mind, the source of our neurosis may be revealed. Think of it like peeling back the layers of an onion, and with each layer the causes and significance of our symptoms become more and more evident and may eventually disappear as the client learns how to sit with and manage their internal world. ### **Psychoanalysis** Freud attempted to come up with treatment for our many neuroses, within society and the self. Freud believed analyzing the unconscious mind could help people understand and adapt to reality’s challenges. In psychoanalysis sessions, dreams, fantasies, avoided thoughts, and the therapist-client relationship are explored through free association—speaking freely without censorship. The analyst may identify slips of the tongue or ‘accidents’ revealing unconscious behavior, resistance, or unrealistic expectations. Recognizing these hints, clients collaborate with therapists to address conflicts and unhealthy behavior patterns. Freud’s work centers on adult relationships shaped by the initial bonds formed with parents. The love learned from parents influences how we navigate sex, love, attachment, and dependence in adulthood. Freud metaphorically likened intimacy issues to the congress between two hedgehogs, expressing the desire for closeness but unable to get too close due to potential prickliness. ## **Psychodynamic Therapy** Psychodynamic therapy is a modern variation of Freud’s Psychoanalysis. Freud’s original work, with themes of sexuality and aggression for understanding relational dynamics, has evolved in modern mental health therapies. Contemporary approaches prioritize scientific evidence, focusing on personality, future goals, past experiences, cultural and interpersonal influences (including friendships and peers), and behavioral patterns across one’s lifespan. Psychoanalytic themes retained include examining the client-therapist relationship for clues about the client’s unconscious mind, evaluating unrealistic expectations, and considering foundations for attachment, intimacy, avoidance of confrontation, and the ability to speak openly. ## Psychodynamic Therapy in Melbourne ![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Purple_I-650x650.jpg) Psychodynamic therapy is cost-effective in comparison to psychoanalysis, as it typically won’t require more than 1-2 sessions per week. It is, however, still classed as a long-term therapeutic approach due to the nature of the therapy (recall — “peeling back the layers one by one”) Psychodynamic therapies effectively address substance abuse, depression, eating disorders, and trauma or adverse childhood experiences. Research has suggested that the effects of psychoanalysis and psychodynamic therapies may outweigh others types of psychotherapy and antidepressant drugs. At The Three Seas, we have a number of Psychologists who practice as psychodynamic analysts. If psychodynamic therapy specifically interests you, reach out to our Client Connect Team (CCT). They can schedule an appointment with a suitable clinician for you. The CCT operates Monday to Friday from 8:30 am to 8:30 pm and Saturdays from 9 am to 5 pm. You can contact them at (03) 9809 1000 or via email at . --- ### [Psychiatrists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychiatrists/) **Published:** July 8, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Psychiatrists are mental health specialists who offer medical treatment for a variety of mental disorders. Three Seas provides both psychiatric and psychological services to meet all of your counselling needs. If you’re considering psychiatric care, here is what you need to know. ### **Please note that, William Soo, our resident psychiatrist is not accepting any new clients at the moment.** ## What is a Psychiatrist? A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with specialised training in mental health care. A generation or two ago, many psychiatrists offered mental health counselling. Most psychiatrists of today primarily offer medical consultations, which means that if you need therapy and medication, you might find yourself working with both a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) and a psychiatrist. Some psychiatrists, though, do still offer counselling, so if you pursue psychiatric care, be sure to ask your therapist what you can expect. Some other things psychiatrists can do include: - Refer you for additional medical testing. - Make recommendations based on your overall health. For example, a person with diabetes might do better with a different medication than an individual who has high blood pressure or no medical issues at all. - Recommend lifestyle changes that could improve the efficacy of your treatment. - Talk to you about how diet and exercise might affect your medication. - Offer you solutions for better managing any side effects associated with your medication. - Help you understand the biological underpinnings of your mental health; many people feel guilty about mental illness, but a psychiatrist can help you understand that it’s your biochemistry, not your self-control, that is the problem. ## What Does a Psychiatrist Do? Psychiatrists are medical doctors with specialised training in mental health. They can assess a patient’s mental and physical health, in addition to prescribing psychiatric medications. Some examples of the responsibilities of a psychiatrist include: - Diagnosing mental health conditions. - Determining whether and which medication is appropriate and prescribing that drug. - Monitoring medication side effects and making both medical and lifestyle recommendations to reduce the severity of those side effects. - Monitoring for symptoms of disorders that might contribute to mental health symptoms. - Assessing and reassessing the safety of a treatment plan. - Working with a psychologist, therapist, or another care provider to craft a treatment plan that includes both therapy and medication. - Recommending psychiatric hospitalisation when necessary. ## Do I Need a Psychiatrist? Mental health issues are medical issues no different from heart disease or diabetes. They’re not something you can think away and are certainly not a sign that you lack self-control or social skills. Medical issues demand care, so almost anyone who struggles with mental health concerns can benefit from a consultation with a psychiatrist. Some people attend therapy for months without experiencing a change. A psychiatric consultation could be particularly beneficial since medication may improves the effectiveness of treatment and address underlying brain chemistry issues. Some other signs that you could benefit from psychiatric care include: - You are experiencing intense mental health symptoms, such as suicidal thoughts or the inability to sleep. - You have a previous history of mental illness or have previously taken medication. - You’re currently on medication, but it is no longer working. - You have mental health symptoms accompanied by other issues, such as high blood pressure or nausea. - You have a family history of severe mental illness. - Your mental health symptoms have undermined your relationships with others, or others have expressed concerns that you might be mentally ill. - You see or hear things that aren’t there. ## When to See a Psychiatrist The above symptoms warrant a trip to a psychiatrist, but when on your mental health journey should you see a therapist? There’s no right time. Many people pursue psychiatric care alongside therapy. In fact, treatment can significantly improve the effectiveness of psychiatric care. If you’d prefer to avoid medication, consider trying 2-3 months of treatment. If therapy has not produced significant improvements in that time, this suggests the problem may be a brain chemistry imbalance issue that is best resolved by medication. At Three Seas, our team works together to craft a comprehensive treatment plan. No matter where you pursue treatment, though, ensure that your psychiatrist is willing and able to collaborate with other treatment providers. ## How to Find a Good Psychiatrist Becoming a psychiatrist takes 11 years, but every therapist varies in his or her competence, dedication, and field of expertise. When choosing a therapist, you should interview them just like you would require a job applicant; after all, this person is applying for the job of being your mental health partner. Some questions to ask include: - Have you treated patients like me in the past? - Do you offer counselling in addition to medication? - What is your speciality? - How long have you been practising? - How long do you think I will need treatment? - Are there any side effects associated with the treatment you recommend? - What if I don’t like the treatment you recommend? Are there alternatives? - If treatment doesn’t work, what will you do? - Can you work with my other treatment providers? - What steps do you take to protect my privacy? ## Why choose The Three Seas private psychiatry services? ### Local Psychiatrists That Accept Medicare Medicare has helped equalised psychiatric care for Australians, and a range of mental health professionals accept Medicare. At Three Seas, we gladly welcome Medicare patients and are happy to discuss your benefits with you in clear, simple terms that you can understand. ### Psychiatrists Specialising in Anxiety and Depression Anxiety and depression are complex medical disorders involving both brain chemistry issues, lifestyle concerns, and problematic thoughts and behaviours. Therapists who specialise in the treatment of these disorders work with you to address all three components of good health. At Three Seas, we partner with you to craft an individualised treatment plan that addresses your needs. We: - Talk to you about medication options, listen to your concerns about side effects, and work with you to find the right drug or drug combination. - Offer comprehensive counselling to help you better understand your thoughts and feelings and behaviours - Suggestions about how lifestyle can affect your mental health. For example, some research suggests that diet and exercise can help regulate symptoms of depression and anxiety. If you struggle with mental health concerns, there is no reason to be ashamed. We can help you navigate a path back to an improved quality of life. Our services can be conducted face-to-face as well as [online via Telehealth](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) and phone consultations. --- ### [Prenatal Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/prenatal-depression/) **Published:** April 9, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Pregnancy is supposed to be a happy, even thrilling, time. In a world where[ one in four women](http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/depression-during-pregnancy/) experience depression at some point during their lives, though, it should come as no surprise that some women experience the pain of depression during pregnancy. Depression and stress can increase the risk of complications during pregnancy, and no woman wants unnecessary stress as she prepares to be a mother. The good news is, there are strategies that can help ease the rocky waters of depression! A [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can lead you in the right direction and get to the other side in one piece. ## Is Prenatal Depression Different from Other Forms of Depression? In the popular imagination, all forms of prenatal depression are due to pregnancy-related hormonal shifts. In reality, of course, the picture is much more complex. Myriad factors can lead to prenatal depression. In some cases, a person who already has depression simply continues to have it during their pregnancy. In others, specific life factors, changes in health or hormones, or the concerns endemic to being pregnant can trigger depression. Thus prenatal depression, just like other forms of depression, can be caused by a complex interaction between genes, biology, environment, personality, and lifestyle. ## What Causes Prenatal Depression? Prenatal depression is not a monolith, and the factors that contribute to its development can vary wildly from one person to the next. It may be impossible to determine why you have depression, or the reason might be quite apparent. Most people with prenatal depression have at least one risk factor, but it’s possible to develop prenatal depression without having any risk factors at all. Some factors that put you at risk include: - A family history of depression; both genetic and early learning factors can make you - vulnerable. - A prior history of depression; the physiological changes of pregnancy may trigger depression - even in people whose depression is well-controlled. - The challenges of pregnancy itself. Women whose pregnancies are unwanted or unplanned, - who are worried about finances, who suffer from pregnancy-related health complications, or - who have unsupportive partners are more vulnerable to depression. - Lifestyle factors; Women with unhealthy lifestyles are more vulnerable to depression. - Drugs; Many women quit smoking, drinking, or using drugs during pregnancy. If you’re already - vulnerable to depression, this sudden change can trigger a depressive episode. - Inadequate medical care. If you feel uncared for by your doctor or do not receive supportive - behavioral health services during your pregnancy, it can cause or worsen depression. ## Prenatal Depression and Medication Medication for depression is a controversial topic, since some people don’t want to feel like their brains are being “controlled” by “drugs.” For pregnant women, the prospect can be even more troubling, since most antidepressants cross the placental barrier, with unknown effects for the developing fetus. The good news is that some antidepressants have been proven safe during pregnancy. Even more important is the fact that depression itself is bad for your baby. If you’re unable to manage your symptoms without medication, odds are good that medication will be less harmful to your baby than being exposed to the complex cocktail of hormones depression can yield. ## Treatment Options If you’re concerned about medication, remember that newer, safer antidepressants are constantly being developed. We can help you talk to a doctor about the best medication for your needs, but if you’re opposed to medication during pregnancy, it’s far from your only option. Therapy can help you untangle the complex array of factors that led to your depression. Not only does counselling offer a supportive listener who can help you manage the trials and tribulations of pregnant life; it also affords you the chance to explore and practice new ways of coping with long-standing challenges. Treatment can also help you and your partner prepare for having a baby. Many women report that inadequate assistance from their partners figure prominently in feelings of depression. Others simply need help feeling like they’re ready to be parents. And many women simply need reassurance that they have what it takes to be good parents. Lifestyle factors can play a role, too. Whether it’s eating right, exercising safely, making friends, or finding ways to get the support you need, Three Seas can help you make decisions that make it easier to live with depression, and that even boost the odds of depression remission. You can do it, and we can help! --- ### [Pre and postnatal depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/pre-and-postnatal-depression/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ![Pre and postnatal depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Pre-Postnatal-depression-248x143.jpg) Pre and postnatal depression occurs most commonly in mothers, but 3 to 10 per cent of fathers also suffer with this type of depression. The causes in women include the dramatic shift in hormone levels and the effects on the mother’s body during childbirth. But many of the other factors that contribute are the same for both men and women. The shock of the situation can act as a trigger. Sometimes birth or [health](http://www.health.gov.au/) complications can produce an emotional roller-coaster. Not everyone adapts to these emotional changes easily. ## Depression before (pre-natal) and after (post-natal) the birth of a child is very common in Australia. The idea of being a parent and caring exclusively for the baby’s life can be daunting. The constant demands of a newborn baby are unlike anything else you can encounter. There are also multiple stresses and demands from the extended family and society and these expectations can seem overwhelming. For mothers it is sometimes thought that if they don’t bond with their baby within a certain timeframe, it won’t happen at all. This is untrue. Once the depression is treated and lifts, the baby will be there and the relationship and bond will begin as normal with the full range of emotions. Friends and family supporting the mother during this phase can make all the difference. Relationships can suffer due to pre or postnatal depression. It is often thought that the father’s depression is a result of the mother’s depression, but this is not always the case. Fathers can become depressed well before birth and this often lasts much of the first year. There can be increased pressure on the man to be the provider and unfortunately often there are much fewer support mechanisms or networks available. Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) for therapy. **Pre-natal and postnatal depression are real issues, and it needn’t be suffered alone. Call today and make an appointment to see a psychologist.** --- ### [Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ptsd-melbourne/) **Published:** April 8, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Though many mental health conditions are triggered or exacerbated by life events, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is one of only a few that can only occur when its sufferers experience a trauma. Trauma doesn’t just affect your emotions. It also changes your brain and body chemistry, altering the way you react to future stress, how you behave in your relationships, and how you feel about yourself. Most people experience trauma at some point during their lives, but only a small percentage will develop PTSD. Research into this phenomenon is still in its infancy, with experts unsure precisely why some people develop post-traumatic stress and others don’t. No matter how or why you developed PTSD, Three Seas can help you begin putting the pieces of your life back together. ## What is PTSD? Post-traumatic stress disorder is a complex set of reactions to a traumatic event. Most people experience acute short-lived symptoms in the wake of a trauma. They might have nightmares for a few days, worry about their safety, or be overwhelmed with sadness or anger, for example. PTSD, however, is a longer-lived reaction. Long after the trauma has passed, and even after its after-effects—such as physical injuries or a trial—have disappeared, people with PTSD continue to relive their experience. PTSD is as variable as the people who experience it, and the exact symptoms often depend on the type of trauma. A war veteran might develop symptoms of anger, or respond to an apparent threat—such as a loud noise—with an immediate rage outburst. He or she might also “snap” in response to threats, getting into dangerous fights and altercations. For other trauma sufferers, PTSD primarily triggers crippling fear or sadness. And of course, it’s possible for a trauma survivor to vacillate between several reactions. A rape survivor might be overwhelmed by rage one day, only to be debilitated by fear and guilt the next. ## What Causes PTSD? Although not everyone who experiences a traumatic event develops PTSD, PTSD is extraordinarily common among trauma survivors. Indeed, some treatment provides have labelled it as an ordinary reaction to extraordinary circumstances. We don’t fully understand what happens in the brain and bodies of people with PTSD, but most research suggests that trauma changes biochemistry. Thus people who have survived trauma might be “stuck” in the traumatic experience, perpetually living and reliving a fight-or-flight reaction that kept them safe at the time of the trauma, but which offers no benefits now. Some of the most common causes of PTSD include: - Participating in military combat. - Witnessing or being harmed by military combat, such as when civilians’ homes are bombed. - Being the victim of physical abuse in either childhood or adulthood. - Sexual abuse, rape, and sexual assault. - Surviving a natural disaster. - Living through a catastrophic medical diagnosis. Mental health experts also increasingly recognise the role that witnessing another person’s trauma can play in the development of PTSD. Children who see their parents abused or who witnessed the death of a loved one, for example, may exhibit symptoms of PTSD. Any trauma can trigger symptoms of PTSD, but most studies suggest that deliberate traumas are more frequent culprits. Rape victims suffer PTSD at much higher rates than natural disasters or cancer survivors. The aftermath of the trauma can also play a role, and survivors of natural disasters rarely face the sort of traumatic aftermath or blame that those who have been attacked face. This form of secondary trauma can include: - Having to testify against an assailant in court. - Facing financial problems as a result of a trauma. - Being dishonourably discharged from the military. - Facing loved ones who did not take the trauma seriously, or who do not believe that it happened at all. - Facing ongoing threats from an assailant. ## Who is at Risk for PTSD? The single most important predictor of PTSD is trauma, with between 10-25% of trauma survivors experiencing symptoms of PTSD in the aftermath of their trauma. The more serious the trauma, the longer it lasted, and the more often it is repeated, the more likely a person is to develop PTSD. That’s why a childhood sexual abuse survivor who was abused over many years is typically more likely to develop PTSD than a person who was attacked just once. The following risk factors further increase the likelihood that a trauma survivor will develop PTSD: - Being female; women face more traumatic events than men do, and the types of traumas women more typically face often produce stronger symptoms of PTSD. - A family history of mental illness, particularly of PTSD. - A previous history of trauma. - A previous history of depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems. - Experiencing other stressful life events at the time of the trauma. - Lack of good support at the time of the trauma. - Experiencing physiological side effects, such as headaches or an amputated limb, as a result of the trauma. ## Symptoms of PTSD Symptoms of PTSD generally fall into three distinct, yet broad, categories: 1) reliving the trauma; 2) avoiding reminders of the trauma; 3) physical and mental health symptoms associated with the trauma. Most PTSD sufferers experience symptoms in all three domains, but few experience every symptom of PTSD. The more specific symptoms of PTSD include: - Intrusive memories known as flashbacks. During intense flashbacks, the person might feel as though he or she is actually reliving the trauma, and may behave as such. Stimuli that reminds the survivor of the trauma, such as sights and sounds, may trigger flashbacks. - Depression, thoughts of suicide, feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness. - Guilt or shame about surviving the trauma. - Anger about the trauma. - An enhanced startle response. - A strong fight-or-flight response. - Difficulty concentrating. - Changes in mood or personality. - Persistent avoidance of people, places, or things that serve as reminders of the trauma. Some people with PTSD may also struggle to remember portions of the traumatic event. - Nightmares about the trauma. - Changes in overall health; some trauma survivors suffer chronic pain, unexplained illnesses, and poor overall health. Gastrointestinal distress is also common. - Changes in fertility. Research increasingly points to the ability of PTSD to disrupt the endocrine system. One study even found that women with PTSD who had survived rape were more likely than other groups to experience slowed labour during childbirth. ## Post-traumatic stress disorder: Not Just in the Mind PTSD is not all in the heads of sufferers. Indeed, a mounting body of research suggests that trauma is stored in the brain and body, disrupting the endocrine system and changing the way the body functions. The good news is that, just as trauma can change the body, therapy can help steadily reverse those changes. Some of the most common physiological effects of PTSD include: - Headaches - Muscle aches - Disruptions in the menstrual cycle - Autoimmune issues - Unexplained chronic pain - High levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the blood - Fertility issues - Insomnia and other sleep disturbances - Frequent diarrhoea - Difficulties with sexual arousal, functioning, or orgasm ## Treatment for PTSD Though a number of medications are available to treat PTSD, no single medication works for everyone. Instead, doctors adopt a piecemeal approach, targeting medications to specific symptoms. They might prescribe sleeping medications for insomnia, antidepressants for depression, and anti-anxiety medication to cope with a heightened startle reflex. Ultimately, though, the goal of treatment is to reduce or even eliminate the need for medication. Although symptoms of PTSD are often dramatic and life-altering, the disease is highly treatable. At Three Seas, we partner with clients to develop a customised, workable solution for their PTSD symptoms. Some strategies include: - Therapy to identify the source of the trauma and to develop coping skills. Approaches such as prolonged exposure therapy and eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) are especially beneficial. - Lifestyle changes designed to help you better manage your trauma. For instance, a rape survivor might benefit from moving, installing an alarm system, or even something as simple as remodelling her bedroom so that it no longer reminds her of the attack. - Nutritional changes. Caffeine and sugar can make you more anxious. Some research also points to the value of certain foods, notably antioxidants such as blueberries, for combating PTSD. And of course, caring for your body is a great way to care for your mind. - Regular exercise is one of the very best things you can do for your body and mind. Study after study has documented its effectiveness for combating both depression and anxiety. - Family counselling and support groups can help you discuss your struggles with others, educate them about how best to help you, and help you feel less alone on your journey to recovery. If you have a concern and would like to speak with a private psychologist in Melbourne, call us today, and our Client Connect Team can answer any questions you might have. You can also Meet our [Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) via the link to find out more about the right therapist for you. At The Three Seas, we also offer a variety of online therapy options including [telephone counselling services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) as well as telehealth counselling and more! --- ### [Phobia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/phobia/) **Published:** November 5, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Fear is a rational response to potentially dangerous situations. When fear becomes irrational, extreme and begins to control certain aspects of a person’s life, however, that fear has become a phobia. In Australia, phobias are surprisingly common, affecting about 10 to 20 per cent of the population during their lifetime. People may have specific phobias to any number of things they encounter. Some have a phobia of flying, while others have a phobia of cats. Often phobias are out of proportion to the actual threat or they may be irrational due to a lack of any threat. For some, an image on a screen is enough to induce fear, while for others the mere thought of a phobia can induce feelings of fear. People suffering from phobias know that their fear is irrational or exaggerated but are unable to control their reaction none-the-less. The symptoms of a phobia are: - Feelings of fear, terror or panic - Panic attacks - Heart palpation or chest pain - Faintness or dizziness - Perspiration - Choking or dry throat - Nausea - Hot or cold flushes Some of the most common phobias include: - Fear of certain environments – agoraphobia - Fear of flying - Fear of social situations – social phobia - Fear of the dark - Fear of heights - Fear of the dentist - Fear of animals such as spiders or snakes - Fear of enclosed spaces or being trapped – claustrophobia - Fear of blood or injury - Fear of water - Fear of vomiting Treatment is possible and a psychologist can help you control your phobia using a range of techniques. These include cognitive behavioural therapy, graded exposure therapy, relaxation techniques and sometimes hypnotherapy. ### Call today and talk to a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/ "Melbourne Psychologists") to begin controlling your fear. --- ### [Personality Disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/borderline-personality-disorder/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** There are different types of personality disorders and Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of them.![personality disorders image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Borderline-personality-disorder.jpg) ## What is BPD? BPD is characterised by a difficulty relating to other people and the world around them, frequent distressing emotional states and self-harming behaviours. Approximately two per cent of all Australians will experience borderline personality disorder in their lifetime. It is three times more common in women than men. The causes of BPD are widely debated but there is some agreement that it may be caused by genetic and environmental factors. Often its symptoms appear in the teens or early adulthood. *BPD* sufferers have an increased risk of suicide. The symptoms of this personality disorder include: - Intense feelings of insecurity - Idealising or devaluing other people - Excessive reassurance seeking behaviour - Difficulty compromising - Feelings of abandonment and loss - Self-harm - Impulsive and potentially harmful behavior such as excessive spending, unsafe sex or substance abuse - Intense outbursts of anger - Anxiety and depression It is a complex disorder and those suffering from it often show symptoms of other mental illnesses such as anxiety disorders, depression, eating disorders and drug and substance abuse. People with the disorder are often perceived by others to lead chaotic lives acting impulsively and sometimes irrationally. Getting the right help can significantly increase a person’s life quality. Treatments for *BPD* include medical (drug) treatment and psychological counselling. If you experience the symptoms of *BPD*, it is important to seek help from a trained [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/). Speaking to a professional will help you to better understand your behaviours, the triggers for negative behaviours and thought patterns and to help you learn strategies for coping with its symptoms. **Call today for an appointment.** --- ### [Parental](https://thethreeseas.com.au/parental/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## The parent-child relationship, parental guidance and its progression into the parent-adolescent relationship is one of the most important factors in a person’s upbringing. The way a child attaches to his/her parents in early life will affect their behaviour in other relationships – often for the rest of their lives. Children who know that they can depend on their parent(s) are more likely to be well adjusted and interact easily. They are also more likely to be uninhibited with other children their age and be more open to their parental role as the rule maker and provider. If a parent is consistent and reliable, lovingly and caring, fair and honest with their children it builds a trusting relationship with them as well as other people in their lives like teachers. Enjoying each other’s company and expressing those feelings is important. Over time, a securely attached child will learn that they have people they can rely on and this will increase self-esteem and reduce the likelihood of anxiety and depression. Of course, relationships between children, adolescents and their parents are often fraught with drama. These relationships can be volatile even when they are strong and well intentioned. Sometimes even well adjusted teens can go off the rails and parents who used to think they knew what they were doing, can be at a loss to know how to parent their own children. Getting help with the relationship(s) you have with your child or adolescent is not giving in or giving up, quite the opposite. [Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) are the most highly trained professionals in the area of behaviour and human development. Counselling from a psychologist can help. ### Call today for an appointment. --- ### [Panic Attacks In Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks-in-children/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Children can suffer from panic attacks just the same way adults do. ## [![Panic attacks in children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Panic-Attacks-Child-720x480.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Panic-Attacks-Child-720x480.jpg) This is when the ‘flight-or-fight’ response, normally triggered by imminent danger, happens due to intense anxiety. This can happen with absolutely no obvious trigger, the brain tricking the autonomic nervous system to activate the ‘flight-or-fight’ response. The body is flooded with adrenaline and other hormones that cause physiological changes. These can include an increased heart rate or palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, trembling and muscle tension. The panic attack can last from a few minutes to half an hour. However, the physical and emotional effects of the attack may last for much longer. Approximately 35 per cent of people will experience a panic attack at some time in their lives. Without help, regular panic attacks can be severely disabling causing avoidance a wide range of situations for fear of experiencing an attack. Symptoms of panic attacks in children include: Feelings: - Anxious and irrational thinking including being hyper-vigilant and expecting danger - Dread, danger or foreboding - Fear of going mad, losing control or dying Physical sensations: - Fight/flight/freeze response - Heart palpitations; - Hyperventilation, shortness of breath, or breath holding; - Dry mouth, choking or being unable to talk; - Lightheadedness and dizziness - Pins and needles in the limbs - Trembling or shaking, sweating - Hot and cold flushes - Accelerated heart rate - Tightness in the chest - Nausea or abdominal distress - Tense muscles - Muscle tension; The cause of panic attacks are often hard to pin point but some things are known to increase the likelihood of an attack: - Stress hormones including adrenalin experienced for prolonged periods of time or due to a traumatic event. - Excessive caffeine intake from coffee or energy drinks. - Other stimulants including amphetamines that raise the heart rate. - Hyperventilation causing over oxygenated blood. - Intense physical exercise. - Sudden changes of environment e.g. overcrowded, hot or stuffy. Children need not suffer alone. A psychologist can help the child develop the skills to navigate around anxiety and panic to prevent future attacks. We have specialist child [Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) who can help children of any age. Our client Connect Team will match you up with a suitable Psychologist based on your needs. Call today (03) 9809 1000 - [40+ Team of Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) - 4 Melbourne Locations — [Northcote](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/northcote/) | [KNOX](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/westfield-knox/) | [RICHMOND](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/richmond/) | CBD - [Family Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) - [Couples/Relationship Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/) - Fully Registered with AHPRA - [Medicare Rebates available](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-and-bulk-billing/) - Open Late / After Hours --- ### [Panic Attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## A panic attack – also called an anxiety attack – is a short period of intense anxiety or fear that can last from just a few minutes to half an hour. Panic attacks are very common in Australia where over a third of all people will experience at least one in their lifetime. A panic attack is caused when the [‘flight-or-fight’](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) response is activated inappropriately. Often, no immediate danger is present. The brain floods with chemicals, including adrenaline, which trigger physical symptoms. When a person has a panic attack, they may experience the following physical symptoms: [![obsessive compulsive disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Obessive-Compulsive.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Obessive-Compulsive.jpg) - Dry mouth - Perspiration - Racing heartbeat or chest pain - Shortness of breath - Dizziness or faintness - Trembling - Muscle tension The psychological symptoms of a panic attack are: - Overwhelming feelings of fear - Anxious and irrational thinking - A strong feeling of dread or danger - Feelings of unreality or detachment - Fear of going mad - Fear of losing control Panic attacks may occur frequently and sometimes occur for no apparent reason. It may take several hours to recover from a panic attack emotionally as well as physically. Often a person suffering from panic attacks will change their behaviour to avoid the risk of experiencing an attack. Avoidance behaviour can begin to control a person’s life and be distressing and disabling to the sufferer. Untreated, panic attacks may occur more frequently and increase in duration. If you are experiencing panic attacks, it is important to seek treatment. A range of options can help including medical (drug) and psychological treatments including [cognitive behavioural therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/), stress management, relaxation and mindfulness techniques. A [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help you learn to manage your panic attacks today. Panic attacks are scary; some people may feel as though they are having a heart attack or dying. Talking to a psychologist will help you obtain the skills to prevent this feeling from happening to you again in the future. We have 3 clinics across Melbourne with supportive psychologists ready to help. Our client Connect Team will match you up with a suitable Psychologist based on your needs. Call today (03) 9809 1000. - [30+ Team of Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) - 4 Melbourne Locations —[KNOX](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/westfield-knox/) | [RICHMOND](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/richmond/) | [CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) - [Family Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) - [Couples/Relationship Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) - Fully Registered with AHPRA - [Medicare Rebates available](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq-and-rebates/) - Open Late / After Hours --- ### [Oversleeping Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/oversleeping/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Oversleeping can be harmful to your health. The same goes with sleep. The amount of sleep we need differs from person to person and changes over the course of a lifetime, but experts recommend between 7 and 9 hours a night. If you are sleeping too much, it is important to examine the underlying causes for this behaviour, even to have an oversleeping treatment. Speaking to a psychologist will help you understand the roots of this behaviour and guide you to taking steps to recover. There may be a range of medical, psychological or environmental causes for oversleeping. These include sleep apnoea, stress, depression, and drug or alcohol addiction. Oversleeping may lead to fatigue, headache and depression. Studies have linked oversleeping with an increased risk for diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. We all oversleep from time to time, and when we do, the entire day can be a miserable undertaking. From missed meetings and lost time with family to the stress of trying to plod through the day exhausted, oversleeping is no laughing matter. Three Seas Counselling can help you determine why you’re oversleeping then offer you practical skills to get your sleep back on a healthier cycle. ## What is Oversleeping? Oversleeping every now and again is normal, especially when you stay up late, are sick, or just don’t want to face the chaos and stress of the day. For some people, though, sleeping too long crosses the line from a periodic inconvenience to a daily occurrence. Some symptoms of oversleeping include: - Sleeping longer than 10 hours on many or most nights. - Taking frequent naps throughout the day. - Feeling tired no matter how much sleep you’ve gotten. - Using sleep to avoid emotional pain. - Sleeping poorly when you do sleep, or sleeping so deeply that you don’t dream or don’t remember sleeping. You don’t have to suffer with oversleeping forever. You’re not lazy and this is not your fault. But the problem is unlikely to get better without treatment. Oversleeping is a type of sleep disorder, making it no different from other health conditions such as diabetes or chronic pain. Just as these conditions demand treatment, so too does chronic oversleeping. ## What Causes You to Sleep Too Much? ### Poor Sleep Habits There’s no single cause of oversleeping. In some cases, it’s a simple matter of poor sleep habits. If you don’t maintain a regular sleeping schedule, rely on naps to get enough sleep, or are so chronically stressed that you can never feel well-rested, oversleeping may be the result. ### Mental Health Depression is notorious for its ability to turn normal people into virtual zombies. If you suffer from depression, you may find yourself chronically tired, probably because your emotions are so overwhelming that they exhaust you. Some people with depression also rely on sleep as a coping mechanism. Life is too painful to stay awake for, so they just sleep through it. Some other mental illnesses can produce similar barriers to healthy sleep. ### Physical Illnesses In some cases, oversleeping may be caused by physical illnesses. For this reason, Three Seas always consults with a physician before making a diagnosis or entering into a treatment plan. Illnesses such as hypothyroidism, some adrenal system disorders, and a handful of autoimmune diseases can all disrupt your sleep cycle, leaving you feeling chronically exhausted. If you suffer from a physical ailment or a mental illness, your oversleeping is unlikely to improve without treatment. ## How Can I Treat Oversleeping? The path to a good night’s sleep that doesn’t overtake your entire day is heavily dependent on the reasons for your oversleeping. When you seek counselling at Three Seas, we’ll gather all the information we can about your symptoms. We’ll explore when they began, what makes them better or worse, how you eat, and how you live. This information helps us develop a well-informed hypothesis about why you sleep so much. From there, we’ll work with you to establish a healthier lifestyle that can help you feel well-rested, productive, and healthy. Our regimen may include therapy, lifestyle changes, or medication, depending on your needs. Ultimately, though, treatment is in your hands. We offer protocols that respect your values and desires, and if you’d like to try to avoid medication, we can certainly accommodate that request. Don’t struggle with oversleeping any longer than you have to. We can help! Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) for therapy. ### Call today to talk to a Three Seas Psychologist. --- ### [Oversleeping In Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/oversleeping-in-children/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Sleep is important, but oversleeping in children and adolescent is not a good thing When it comes to children and adolescents’ sleeping habits, there can be too much of a good thing. The research shows that between seven and eight hours is the optimum amount of sleep to adequately rest the body and mind. If your child or teenager is sleeping much more than 9 hours per night then this oversleeping in itself can be a problem, but it may also indicate other problems. Some people do actually suffer from a medical condition called hypersomnia this is relatively uncommon and your [GP](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_practitioner) would need to diagnose this condition. Health issues or environmental factors cause most cases of oversleeping. Stress can cause oversleeping in children and adolescent, along with other general health and lifestyle habits. Obviously not every child or teenager who oversleeps has a sleep disorder. Other possible causes of oversleeping include: Mental health conditions: - Stress - Anxiety - Depression - Bullying Physical issues: - Sleep apnoea - Obesity - Pain Environmental factors: - Substances abuse including prescription medication - Alcohol - Caffeine ### If you or your child or adolescent are having oversleeping issues contact The Three Seas Psychology Group and make an appointment to speak with a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) today. --- ### [Obsessive compulsive disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ![ocd treatment service image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/iStock_000019248590_Large-cp-248x143.jpg)Almost three per cent of all Australians suffer from a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) during their lifetime. It is found in children, adolescents and adults. The obsessions are recurrent and persistent thoughts, and are often exaggerated concerns or worries. The compulsions are behaviours such as rituals, patterns or rules that the sufferer is unable to resist performing. Some suffer from both obsessions and compulsions, while others may experience just one. Having an obsessive compulsive disorder is time-consuming, distressing and often exhausting. These span from mild to severe. A person suffering from a mild form of the disorder may feel the need to avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, while a person suffering extreme OCD may not be able to leave their house for all the rituals required. In its most severe form, It can entirely take over a person’s life. It is often shameful to the person and hidden when possible. Some of the most common issues of OCD sufferers include: - fear of germs - compulsive cleaning - exaggerated worrying about health - hoarding - hand washing - safety checking - repeatedly counting items or objects ## Obsessive compulsive disorder is an anxiety condition and Early OCD treatment can reduce its symptoms. It is a type of anxiety disorder where children and adolescents become acutely focussed on negative thinking, such as whether something could be dangerous, wrong, harmful or dirty. Obsessions and worry overtake a child’s focus and they may use rituals or compulsions as a way of making the thoughts go away. The child or adolescent has no control over these thoughts – they can’t try to not think in this way. Just like any physical disorder, like being asthmatic or diabetic – this is something happening to them that they can’t control. It is not something that the child or parents have caused. Science is yet to tie down the exact cause of Obsessive Compulsive behaviours but research is pointing to inaccurate interpretations in the brain of levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin. This creates false alarm danger signals which the mind then can’t turn-off. It seems likely that there is a genetic component to OCD, but sometimes the stress of a major event or illness may trigger the condition. Most children and adolescents with this disorder realise that repeating rituals over and over again won’t fix their problem, but the anxiety they feel overpowers their logical brain. They need the behaviour to neutralise the uncomfortable feeling. OCD treatment include behavioural therapy and sometimes medical treatment. Talking with a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can get you started on the road to recovery. **Call today for an appointment.** --- ### [Obesity in children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obesity-in-children/) **Published:** November 6, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Obesity in Children is a global problem with weight levels of children and adolescents in many countries including Australia seemingly out of control. In Australia, one in five children and adolescents are overweight or obese. From 1985 to 1995 the numbers of obese children more than tripled. At the current rate, it is predicted that 65 per cent of young Australians will be overweight or obese by 2020. Generally, a child or teen is not considered obese until they weigh more than 10 per cent over their recommended weight. Obesity used to occur at a much older age, but unfortunately, it is now often seen starting between the ages of 5 and 6, or during adolescence. Statistically, a child who is obese between the ages of 10 and 13 has an 80 per cent chance of becoming an obese adult. Child and adolescent obesity often occurs in tandem with other mental health problems. Teenagers with obesity tend to have: lowered self-esteem, anxiety, depression and even acute conditions like obsessive compulsive disorder. Causes of obesity in children and adolescents include: - Poor eating habits – larger energy intake than energy output - Overeating or binge eating - Little or no exercise – inactive lifestyle - Low self-esteem - Depression - Stress - Family history of obesity - Family and peer driven problems - Illness (endocrine, neurological problems) - Medications (steroids, some psychiatric medications) Overcoming obesity in children and adolescents requires a multi-faceted approach and improvements need to be made in eating habits and activities. The first step to recovery is to get to the root of the problem and any underlying issues causing the behaviour. Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) for therapy. ### Call today and make an appointment with a trained psychologist. --- ### [Obesity](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obesity/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Obesity is on the rise and in Australia it is climbing faster than anywhere else, with approximately 60 per cent of all Australians either overweight or obese. That’s just over 12 million people. Obesity can lead to a wide range of other mental and physical health issues such as: diabetes, depression, cardiovascular diseases, muscular and skeletal abnormalities, hypertension, sleep apnoea, negative body/self-image, [social isolation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-anxiety/), and even some forms of cancer. If you are obese, it is important to seek professional help. A range of factors can contribute to obesity including your genetics, your eating and exercise habits and psychological factors. Speaking to a trained [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help you to understand the psychological reasons for your obesity and guide you through realistic weight management plans. Losing weight brings a range of important mental and physical health benefits. ### If you are struggling with obesity call today, talk to a psychologist and start your recovery. --- ### [Mental Health Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/) **Published:** February 18, 2016 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** The Three Seas Psychology Group’s mental health services are effective and focus on providing real help to people experiencing mental disorders. ![Male at mental health services clinic](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Mental-illness.jpg) Maintaining your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Most of us will experience mental illness as some point – the earlier this is recognised and treated, the better! No one’s immune to mental health difficulties, and our psychologists welcome clients of all backgrounds, genders, cultures, races, identities, ages and stages of life. While there are many risk factors – from genetics, to family history, and trauma, it’s important to remember that you are a human being, doing your best. We take a holistic view of mental health and assess a number of areas of your life in order to provide you with the best support. Who Gets Mentally Ill? Understanding Risk Factors for Mental Illness At Three Seas, we partner with people from all walks of life. One of the questions our clients often ask is why some people struggle with mental health, while others seem perfectly fine—even in the face of challenging life circumstances. The truth is that mental illness is not entirely understood, and research into its causes is still in its infancy. Nevertheless, we do know that some factors increase a person’s chances of developing a mental illness. Understanding these risk factors may help you feel less alone if you struggle with the mental disorder. #### Genetics No single gene can cause unhealthy mentality, and even people with a long genetic legacy of mental illness can overcome that legacy with proper treatment. But there is substantial evidence that certain mental illnesses are highly genetic—particularly schizophrenia and depression. If some people in your family have experienced mental disorders, you’re probably vulnerable, too. #### Family History The fact that mental problem runs in your family doesn’t always mean the illness is genetic. A family history of mental health issues can make you vulnerable even if the mental illness is not carried on a gene. People who grow up in families where mental illness was the norm learn a host of unhealthy coping skills. They may also be exposed to trauma that makes it more difficult for them to master basic developmental tasks, increasing their later odds of developing a mental illness. #### Previous Trauma A history of trauma, including abuse, exposure to neglect, and sexual assault, can fundamentally alter the way your brain manages stress. The result can be symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression. Because trauma can interfere with mastering social skills and basic developmental tasks, trauma during childhood is particularly likely to lead to unhealthy mental in adolescence and adulthood. #### Health Issues Your mind and body are not separate entities. What happens in your body fundamentally affects your brain. Not only can health problems change brain function; they can also cause stress that leads to issues such as depression and anxiety. Chronic illnesses, terminal illnesses, and diseases that result in persistent pain are particularly likely to trigger mental health problems. Interestingly, some mental issues may also manifest as physical health concerns. For instance, many people with depression experience unexplained headaches or chronic muscle tension. #### An Unhealthy Lifestyle You can’t expect to isolate yourself, think negative thoughts, pick fights with loved ones, and remain emotionally healthy. A healthy lifestyle matters for your overall psychological health. Some factors that can improve mental health include: - Getting enough sleep each night. - Maintaining close friendships and family relationships. - Finding healthy ways to manage stress, such as meditation. - Staying physically active by getting some exercise every day. - Eating a healthy, balanced diet. - Cultivating positive thoughts and avoiding ruminating on negative experiences. - Taking a proactive stance toward your health. Having some risk factors for mental illness can be scary, but mental health concerns are not your fault. At Three Seas, we can help you overcome mental illness no matter how long you’ve struggled or how many risk factors you have. Let us help you chart a path to a happier, more fulfilling existence. ## Three Seas Mental Disorders Treatment Services There’s no single treatment methodology that works for everyone, which is why it’s so important to work with a treatment provider whom you trust. At Three Seas, we work with you to customise a treatment plan that works with your needs, values, and lifestyles. The right treatment for you depends on what mental illness you have, how aggressively you want to treat it, and whether there are any treatments you prefer to avoid. You can expect a combination of the following: - Medication designed to ensure your brain operates at peak performance and to correct any brain chemistry imbalances. - Therapy to help you master new coping skills, develop healthier ways of thinking, and gain insight into why you struggle with it. - Lifestyle changes to maximise your chances of a prolonged and successful recovery. We may recommend exercise, nutritional changes, or even developing a new hobby. We know that life with it can feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Let the health professionals at The Three Seas Counselling Centre show you that you really can live well. ## Warning Signs of Mental Disorder ![mental help at mental health institutions image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Mental-illness-Corpoarte.jpg) Psychological issues are complex and can affect every facet of a person’s life –relationships, work-life and physical health. Sometimes psychological problems are unavoidable. Some evidence points it causes due to genetics, but there are common triggers: relationships; the stress of home or work; family separation; major events like the loss of a loved one; and drugs and alcohol abuse. You may be experiencing mental disorders if you are struggling with any of the following issues: - Anxiety - Sadness or depression - Distress - Excessive drinking - Compulsive behaviour or thoughts - Extreme eating or exercise habits - Uncontrollable anger If you can identify with any of the above, or any other negative emotions, there is no need to struggle alone. Speaking to a trained psychologist like Clinton Batty can help you to understand what you are feeling and help you on the road to recovery. ## How Mental Affect Your Physical Health If you’re trapped in a cycle of depression, anxiety, or unhealthy relationships, it’s easy to sweep your emotions under the rug. Indeed, this tendency to ignore your feelings is what lands many people in psychological trouble in the first place! If you think your psychological needs don’t matter, think again. Here are some of the surprising ways your mental can affect your physical well-being. #### Insomnia Stress, depression, relationship woes and chronic anxiety can all interfere with your ability to get some quality shut eye. Insomnia isn’t just an inconvenience, though, and research consistently demonstrates that it’s not possible to “make up for” lost sleep. Once the sleep is gone, it’s gone, and it can affect you for days, possibly even weeks. Inadequate sleep interferes with your body’s ability to fight off infections, can lead to chronic muscle tension, and may even make you slower or less attentive. #### Memory and Learning Depression isn’t just the product of changes in brain chemistry; it also changes your brain chemistry on its own. Chronic depression, as well as other issues such as anxiety and stress, can alter your brain chemistry so that mundane everyday tasks become highly challenging. People under stress struggle to learn and remember basic facts, and there’s even some evidence that chronic mental illness can cause permanent brain damage. #### Cardiovascular Disease Think exercise, a healthy diet, and a bit of genetic luck are all you need for a healthy heart, low blood pressure, and good circulation? Think again. Your heart health is directly tied to your mental health. Chronic stress releases a chemical called cortisol that can harm body tissue including your heart. Worse still, it elevates your blood pressure and circulation, stressing your cardiac muscles. While an occasional uptick in heart rate is harmless, the heart damage of chronic stress can contribute to blood clots, strokes, circulatory problems, heart attacks, and a host of other problems, even if you otherwise have no risk factors for cardiovascular disease. #### Chronic Inflammation When your mind is stressed, your body reacts the only way it knows how by preparing your body to fight, flee, or freeze. Of course, the stress of a looming deadline is entirely different from the fear of a saber-toothed tiger that our ancestors faced. It means that our bodies are simply ill-equipped to handle contemporary stresses, especially those that last for a long time or that don’t involve imminent risks to our life and health. The result? Your body may respond by developing inflamed tissues. Inflammation has been linked to diseases as varied as cancer, depression, and heart disease. Chronic inflammation resulting from stress may also lead to chronic pain. #### Gastrointestinal Distress We’ve all felt the sensation of butterflies in the stomach, or perhaps even a quick pang before a big presentation or other scary life events. But for people who struggle with mental health concerns, gastrointestinal problems are often a constant companion. From nausea and bloating to chronic diarrhoea and vomiting, gastrointestinal problems can leave you always worried about your health, and potentially even spur a fear of leaving your house. Many people find that, with the right mental health care, their gastrointestinal problems finally disappear. #### Chronic Pain When you struggle with your emotional health, you may find yourself constantly tensing your muscles, perhaps even without meaning to do so. It can lead to chronic pain conditions such as frequent headaches or low back pain. And once you’re trapped in a cycle of chronic pain, it can be tough to break this cycle. Pain can make exercise challenging, and lack of exercise contributes to pain. You might slouch, continue tensing your muscles, or adopt other strategies to cope with the pain, all of which make your pain worse. And when you’re in pain, it’s tough to maintain sound mental health, further eroding your overall quality of life. ## How Mental Health Difficulties Affect Children? ![mental health in a teen](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Social-Anxiety-Teens.jpg) Mental health in children is inextricably linked to their physical health and their happiness. Maintaining good mentality in children and adolescents can be difficult, they need love and attention to build a strong foundation on which to base their lives. Mentally healthy children and teens will be more resistant to stress and develop positive coping skills for dealing with life’s ups and downs. No child is going to have a life without stresses and strains, but it is how well equipped your child is to deal with these events that will make the difference between a happy, well-rounded person or someone who has mental difficulties. Such difficulties can be loosely classified into two categories: #### Internalised Behaviours These are inhibited and over-controlled behaviours. These are mostly displayed as a nervous or anxious temperament. Children internalising are often worried, fearful and/or withdrawn. They may excessively worry and be pessimistic about their situation or future, and their peer relationship may prove difficult and isolate them further. #### Externalised Behaviours These are under controlled behaviours. These children have a more challenging temperament, often being impulsive or reactive, leading to difficulties with attention, aggression or confrontational behaviour. Externalising behaviours in children can cause difficulties for friends, family and teachers. These children often suffer from reduced problem-solving skills, attention difficulties and sometimes hyperactivity. There are many differences between the treatment in children and adolescents versus that of adults, and a psychologist must be specifically trained to understand and work with this group. When suffering from depression children and adolescents might not understand what they’re feeling nor be able to articulate those feelings. ## What Causes Mental Illness? Unfortunately, we live in a society that still holds stigma against mental illness. However, we want to challenge this at The Three Seas. It is by no will of your own if you experience issues with your mental health, and you aren’t alone. Various factors can contribute – biological factors, like genes; environmental factors, like early learning; and lifestyle factors, like social isolation. As a result, our psychologists will assess your situation from a biopsychosocial approach – in order to understand potential origins of your mental health. If you’re facing psychological issues, you’re certainly not alone, although it can be a profoundly isolating experience. Three Seas Counselling can help get you back on track, give you the tools and skills you need to combat your illness and offer you hope for a happy, normal life. **Call today to make an appointment with A Three Seas psychologist to discuss our available mental health services and treatment options.** --- ### [Issues conceiving and IVF](https://thethreeseas.com.au/issues-conceiving-and-ivf/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Having issues conceiving and IVF can affect your relationship If you have issues conceiving and IVF or continue to be unsuccessful in getting pregnant, however, this can be one of the most trying experiences of your relationship. Issues conceiving are quite common in Australia where approximately 20 per cent of all couples have trouble conceiving. Struggling with fertility is one of the biggest issues a couple can face, regardless of whether it is male or female infertility that is causing the issue. Coping with unwanted infertility can place a lot of stress on a relationship, which can lead to arguments and conflict. Ironically this increased stress often makes it even trickier to conceive. Deciding to get pregnant via in vitro fertilisation (IVF) is a difficult decision for many [couples](https://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/families-and-children/programmes-services/stronger-relationships-trial/information-for-couples). The stress of trying, the time commitment and the financial pressures often associated with Issues conceiving and IVF can place great strains on a relationship. Speaking to a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) as a couple can help you to clarify how you are feeling and ways to deal with your emotions. If you are experiencing trouble conceiving, speaking to a psychologist can arm you with the tools you need to cope with the associated stress and pressure. ### Call today and make an appointment with a Three Seas psychologist. --- ### [Intimacy issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/intimacy-issues/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Many Australians suffer from some form of intimacy issues. Intimacy issues often stem from an inability or reluctance to trust others. Sometimes this mistrust occurs as a result of a person’s previous experiences witnessing or being in a relationship – experiences which may even go back to their childhood. A person who is fearful of hurt or rejection, may find themselves sabotaging their relationships. Intimacy and emotional closeness is crucial for any healthy relationship to develop and endure. For some people, intimacy can invoke feelings of fear or confusion. These feelings can be overwhelming and lead to other problems in the relationship like fighting or even [separation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/divorce-and-separation/). Working with a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help you to understand the root cause of why you have issues with intimacy or commitment. The causes for your fear of intimacy may be complex, confusing or painful and working through them may require a professional psychologist’s insights. If you have trouble maintaining close and deep relationships with people, speaking to a psychologist can help you to untangle the reasons behind it. ### Call The Three Seas Psychology Group today and make a booking today to speak to an experienced psychologist about your intimacy issues. --- ### [Insomnia in Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-in-children/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Insomnia in children is common and It also affect an enormous number of adolescents If they have been taught good habits, most kids have perfectly healthy sleeping patterns (sleep hygiene) until the age of 12. Then during adolescence, the body’s circadian rhythm (internal clock) is reset. Metabolic changes create a sleep phase delay in the body, telling the adolescent to stay up longer and wake up later in the morning. This change happens because a teen’s brain makes the hormone melatonin later at night than the brains of kids and adults. (Melatonin and another hormone, serotonin, help regulate a person’s sleep-wake cycles.) The most common cause of insomnia is stress, but all sorts of things can lead to insomnia, including - Stress – e.g. school, university or home - Physical pain or discomfort – e.g. headaches - Emotional upsets – e.g. relationship issues - Poor sleeping conditions (a room that’s too hot, cold, bright, or noisy). - Exposing your eyes to excessive light at night — throughmobile devices, for instance — also makes it harder to sleep. - Caffeinated drinks - Online social media and other activities - Mobile phone use and computer game playing Insomnia in teenagers is often a symptom of a mood disorder, and adolescents with depression are often insomniacs. However, modern lifestyle pressures often encourage the choice to take less sleep. Either way, the most appropriate course of action as a parent is to make an appointment for your adolescent to see a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) and help get them back on track before studies and relationships start to break down. ### Call now for an appointment. We also provide [insomnia treatment for adults](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia/). Contact Us today for more information. --- ### [Insomnia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Insomnia is a very common concern for many Australians. It is estimated that up to a third of all Australians regularly experience difficulty either falling asleep or insomnia. Some may find it difficult to fall asleep, while others may be able to get to sleep but wake hours later. A lack of sleep can lead to feeling tired or lethargic during the day and impact concentration. People suffering from insomnia have an increased risk of also suffering from a range of other mental and physical health issues including [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) and hypertension. There can be many different medical, psychological and environmental causes for insomnia. If there are underlying causes for insomnia, they need to be addressed. Depression, anxiety, chronic pain and [stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/home-stress/) may contribute to troubled sleep patterns.Your bedding may also be the reason for discomfort resulting into sleeplessness. Sometimes, however, there are no apparent reasons for the sleeplessness. There is a range of different treatment options available if you’re experiencing insomnia including [cognitive behaviour therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-cbt/) and mindfulness. A [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can help you find the techniques that can help you. ## What Causes Insomnia? Everyone suffers from periodic insomnia due to too much alcohol, caffeine, or stress. For [as much as a third of the Aussie population](https://www.mja.com.au/journal/2013/199/8/insomnia-prevalence-consequences-and-effective-treatment), though, insomnia is a recurring, almost-nightly problem. For most people, stress plays a key role in insomnia, but health issues, untreated mental illness, unhealthy sleeping habits, and a host of other issues can also figure prominently. ## How is Insomnia Treated? At Three Seas, we take insomnia seriously. First, we’ll work with you to help you master healthy sleep hygiene by going to bed at the same time each night, using your bed only for sleep and sex, ensuring your sleeping space is comfortable and avoiding lying in bed tossing and turning. We’ll also explore lifestyle factors, such as excessive caffeine consumption, that may play a role in your insomnia. If lifestyle changes don’t work, we invite you to explore how psychological factors could play a role. Depression, anxiety, a recent divorce, and everyday stress can all lead to insomnia. While you can’t eliminate these stressors, you can find healthier ways to cope. We’ll show you the path. For some insomnia sufferers, symptoms persist even in the face of stellar treatment. If you don’t respond well to therapy or lifestyle changes, a number of medications can help you get some shuteye at long last. ### Call today and start the recovery. --- ### [Infertility Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/infertility-counselling/) **Published:** February 28, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** [![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/SalusApproachCouples-720x480.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/SalusApproachCouples-720x480.jpg)One in four couples face infertility problems, according to the [World Health Organisation’s statistics](http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/burden/en/). Those who have been dealing with infertility know all too well that there are a multitude of variables that influence ones ability to conceive. Aspects ranging from sperm count, to ovulation disorders among other physical factors can determine whether a couple is able to reproduce. Infertility elicits strong [emotional responses](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3525527/) such as depression, anger, anxiety and grief. It can lead to feelings of disconnection from others and a deep sense of personal distress. Infertility can become the focus of a couple’s life and sometimes results in feelings of failure and ineptitude. Intellectually, those struggling with infertility understand that it isn’t about personal failure, it is strictly a physiological issue, but with a subject as important and personal as reproduction, the emotional mind follows its own course. Pain leads the thought process in these situations. As the couple continues to strive toward creating a family, feelings of resentment can emerge as friends and acquaintances seem to become pregnant with minimal effort. News stories about the multitude of unwanted pregnancies and commercials relating to birth control and pregnancy tests become devastating, everyday reminders of the injustice of this condition. ### **What Is Infertility Counselling?** Infertility counselling can be a useful tool for individuals and couples. While the biological aspects of infertility may be the root cause of the problem, infertility counselling can help to navigate emotional aspects of the struggle. In addition to offering a safe place to process feelings, services offered through infertility counselling Melbourne can help develop coping strategies for managing the array of feelings that naturally stem from challenges with conception. Infertility counselling isn’t a cookie cutter approach; it takes into consideration your individual thoughts, feelings and needs. It is focused on your personal circumstances, your hopes, dreams and the emotions that inevitably surface as a result of ongoing fertility issues. One of the most valuable aspects of participating in Infertility Counselling is the freedom to express a variety of feelings about it with an objective, compassionate and professionally trained therapist. Well-intentioned friends and loved ones offer care and support, but often miss the mark by trying to make the infertile couple feel better. Platitudes and trite, upbeat comments are offered in hopes of healing a deep wound that cannot be hugged or cheered away. While these loving gestures are treasured, it often fosters a deeper sense of separation that can lead to further isolation and feelings of despair. Grief is another important element of infertility for which counseling can be helpful. Often we pigeon-hole grief as a reaction to the death of a loved one, but grief comes in many forms. Throughout our lives we hold onto and nurture ideas about what we want our futures to look like. Often many envision a future in which a family is central, alongside career, friendships and other aspirations. When faced with the possibility that a central part of that dream has been stolen due to fertility challenges, it is natural to grieve that loss and all of the hopes and feelings that were attached to it. The words “mother” and “father” are emotionally laden and hold so many deeper meanings than the biological factors they represent. The values that lie under the surface of those monikers reach deep within our individual experiences as well as our cultural tapestry. They speak to wisdom, tradition, love and legacy. When robbed of those crucial aspects of ones personal journey, is it any wonder that profound grief would ensue? Infertility counselling can be a useful method of exploring a variety of emotional factors that arise when our basic right to reproduce is being suspended by biological causes. It is important to recognise the emotional toll that infertility takes and to honour those feelings by giving them a voice. ### **Who Benefits From Infertility Counselling?** Infertility counselling is beneficial to any individual or couple who has had challenges with conception. The technical [definition](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/165748.php) of infertility is the inability to conceive after twelve consecutive months of unprotected sexual intercourse. Infertility can, however, include those who have had several miscarriages and are unable to carry a pregnancy to term. In spite of these definitions, those struggling with conception may benefit from supportive counselling even without these associated timeframes and events. There is so much emotion involved in the monthly roller coaster that couples face as they try to conceive; it is a constant battle between hope and disappointment. The pressures that stem from this ongoing battle often contribute to [relationship challenges](http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02646838708403497). At the time the couple needs one another the most, feelings of frustration, sadness and grief that arise from infertility can drive a wedge between them. Additionally, infertility counselling can be a safe place to talk openly about the variance of emotional reactions that men and women experience. Often in situations like this, women tend to feel and express emotions about infertility more openly, and become disheartened when their partner does not seem to be as distressed. Infertility counselling can help couples better understand one another’s thoughts and feelings; it can be a good resource for exploring the difficult subjects that couples may not otherwise feel inclined to openly discuss. It can be a safe haven for couples to be angry, sad or process feelings of numbness and detachment. It is important to remember that infertility does not need to be a life sentence that defines a couple. A myriad of feelings may arise during counselling, and this is a natural part of the healing process. Counselling offers an opportunity to move beyond feeling stuck and transition toward peace. Allowing oneself to be vulnerable enough to talk about these feelings with a stranger may feel quite risky. While not an easy journey, it is one that is well worth the time, effort and vulnerability. If you have a concern and would like to speak with a private [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) in Melbourne, call us today, and our Client Connect Team can answer any questions you might have. You can also Meet our Psychologists via the link to find out more about the right therapist for you. --- ### [How to Help Someone with Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-to-help-someone-with-depression/) **Published:** November 28, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Supporting a Loved One Through Depression** Depression is a complex mental health condition that affects many people across Australia. If someone you care about is struggling with depression, your support can play a vital role in their recovery. Understanding how to help someone with depression with empathy and compassion, while also encouraging the right treatment, is key to making a difference. ## Recognising the Signs of Depression Knowing the signs of depression can help you take the first step in providing meaningful support. Common symptoms include: - A persistent low mood or sadness. - A loss of interest in hobbies or activities they used to enjoy. - Noticeable changes in sleep patterns or appetite. - Difficulty concentrating or making decisions. - Feelings of hopelessness or guilt. If you’ve noticed these signs, your support and understanding can make a significant difference to their mental health. ### Practical Steps to Help Someone with Depression 1. **Start an Honest Conversation** - Approach the topic gently, showing you care and are willing to listen. - Avoid judgemental comments and instead use phrases such as, “I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready to talk.” - Encourage them to express how they feel without fear of being judged. 2. **Encourage Professional Support** - Recommend reaching out to a GP, therapist, or mental health professional. - Offer to assist with finding local resources or even accompany them to appointments. - Reassure them that seeking help is a courageous step towards better mental health. 3. **Be Patient and Supportive** - Recovery from depression takes time. Avoid pushing them to “feel better” quickly. - Offer encouragement and celebrate small milestones along their journey. - Let them know that their progress, no matter how small, matters to you. 4. **Learn About Depression** - Educate yourself about depression and the treatments available. - Understanding what they’re going through can help you provide more informed and compassionate support. 5. **Offer Practical Help** - Assist with day-to-day tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or shopping. - Gently encourage healthy habits like regular exercise, balanced meals, and spending time outdoors. ### What to Avoid When Supporting Someone with Depression When helping someone with depression, it’s important to avoid actions that might inadvertently cause harm. Be mindful of the following: - **Minimising their feelings:** Avoid saying things like “It’s not that bad” or “Just think positive.” - **Imposing solutions:** Rather than offering unsolicited advice, focus on listening and understanding. - **Being impatient:** Recovery is a process; avoid pressuring them to get better quickly. ### Why Self-Care Is Essential for Supporters Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally taxing, so it’s crucial to take care of yourself too. - **Set healthy boundaries:** Ensure you don’t overextend yourself. - **Seek your own support:** Talk to friends, family, or even a professional about your feelings. - **Recharge regularly:** Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. ### When to Seek Emergency Help for Someone with Depression If your loved one mentions self-harm or expresses suicidal thoughts, take immediate action. Do not leave them alone and seek professional support straight away. Below are crisis resources in Australia: - **Lifeline Australia**: Call **13 11 14** or visit [www.lifeline.org.au](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) for 24/7 crisis support. - **Suicide Call Back Service**: Call **1300 659 467** or visit [www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au](https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/) for free professional counselling. - **Kids Helpline (for young people aged 5-25)**: Call **1800 55 1800** or visit [www.kidshelpline.com.au](https://www.kidshelpline.com.au/). For immediate danger or life-threatening situations, dial **000** (Australia’s emergency services). ### **You Can Make a Difference** Helping someone with depression may feel overwhelming, but your care and support can have a lasting positive impact. Remember, professional help is always available to guide both you and your loved one through this journey. --- ### [Home stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/home-stress/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Although a person’s home should be a safe haven, People also can feel home stress sometimes Often, however, people experience Home stress. Family stress, financial pressures, conflicts with a partner or housemate all contribute to feeling stressed at home. Understanding the reasons for why you feel stressed in your home environment is the first step toward changing the situation. Talking to a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can assist in understanding the reasons behind your stress and can give you techniques for dealing with stressful situations. ## Raising children isn’t always easy. [Home life](https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/families) can be stressful at times for all family members. Parents can pass on the stresses in their lives: work related stress, stress about health and fertility, money stress and the pressure of running a household. As children grow into individuals and develop their own personalities, opinions and styles of communication, their individualities may jar with other family members. This can lead to stressful arguments and clashes, leaving lasting impressions and exacerbating the situation. Talking with a fully trained psychologist is a great way to learn how to change the behaviours creating the stress in the family context. The characters involved in the drama won’t change, but the way they behave can. Once the triggers for the stress have been removed and children, adolescents and their parents are communicating in a more positive and understanding way, the issues can be resolved. Recognising these factors is often too difficult for family members themselves because they are often locked in to repetitive cycles of behaviour. ### CALL TODAY AND MAKE YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH A THREE SEAS PSYCHOLOGIST AND TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO A LESS STRESSFUL HOME LIFE. --- ### [Generalised Anxiety Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/generalised-anxiety-disorder/) **Published:** February 28, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## What is Generalised Anxiety Disorder? Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), sometimes called generalised anxiety or just anxiety, is a leading mental illness. More than 15% of Australians experience generalised anxiety every year, and the results can be catastrophic. Anxiety not only interferes with your sense of well-being but can also make it difficult to work, sustain healthy relationships, sleep, eat and perform other daily tasks. We all get anxious from time to time. Indeed, without anxiety, we wouldn’t be able to protect ourselves in dangerous situations. The adrenaline-induced fight-or-flight reaction is what enables you to run from a predator, take swift action to protect your family, and set goals designed to reduce health stress. In some people, though, this natural reaction escalates out of control. Generalised anxiety disorder causes you to experience chronic anxiety for no specific reason. Of course, life is full of anxiety, so it’s always easy to find something on which to blame your anxiety. When one source of anxiety – such as seeing the dentist, or awaiting results of a medical test – disappears, your brain moves on to finding another source. With generalised anxiety disorder, the anxiety never lifts. ### What Are the Symptoms of Generalised Anxiety? So how can you tell the difference between “normal” anxiety and an anxiety disorder? Symptoms of a normal anxiety disorder include: - Feeling anxious for no reason, or experiencing intense anxiety in response to relatively minor stressors. - Waking up anxious. - Being unable to sleep because of anxiety. - Nightmares and disturbing dreams. - Experiencing physical nervousness, such as a pit in your stomach, sweating, or panic attacks. - Difficulty functioning in frightening situations. You might, for example, be unable to carry on a conversation when you’re feeling anxious. - Avoidance of sources of anxiety. Rather than trying to get over the anxiety, most people with anxiety disorders engage in perpetual avoidance. ### What Causes Generalised Anxiety? Like most mental health conditions, generalised anxiety disorder doesn’t have a single cause. Instead, the disorder is likely caused by a complex interaction between several different risk factors. Some people, though, will get anxiety despite having no risk factors; others fail to develop the condition even when they have every risk factor: - An insecure environment; people living in abusive or dangerous situations may become chronically anxious. - Genetic and biological factors. - A family history of anxiety; when a parent or sibling repeatedly behaves anxiously, it’s easy to learn this behaviour such that it feels natural and normal. - Experiencing a traumatic event, such as a rape or child abuse. - An introverted personality. - A history of other forms of mental illness. ### How Can Help — Its Time To Overcome Generalised Anxiety At The Three Seas, we know that the prospect of seeking counselling can be scary for those already struggling with anxiety. You may worry about whether what you say will be kept confidential, how effective therapy actually is, or how long therapy will take. We work with you to assuage these fears. Together we’ll develop a comprehensive treatment plan based on your values and needs. You might not realise it yet, but you think a number of thoughts that make you feel more anxious. Likewise, your anxiety causes you to behave in ways that actually make your fear worse. For instance, you might anxiously delay asking your boss for time off, thereby eliminating your chance at a much-needed vacation. Three Seas works with you to determine how your thoughts affect your behaviour and how your behaviour affects your anxiety. Anxiety is not your fault, but you may be surprised to learn how quickly things can get better if you’re willing to make a few small changes. The symptoms and commonly associated mental health issues of anxiety can be debilitating for the sufferer. The effects on the person caring for the sufferer can also be extreme and are often overlooked. If you have a concern and would like to speak with a private [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) in Melbourne, call us today, and our Client Connect Team can answer any questions you might have. You can also Meet our Psychologists via the link to find out more about the right therapist for you. --- ### [Gambling addiction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/gambling-addiction/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Many Australians enjoy gambling as a social activity, but when it is gambling addiction then it becomes a problem, it’s time to seek help from a professional. Problem gambling is common in Australia with estimates that one per cent of the population suffer from the condition. Gambling addiction problem is defined as when a person has difficulty limiting the amount of money and time spent on gambling, and which leads to negative consequences for the gambler, as well as their family and friends. Some of the signs and symptoms of problem gambling are: - Spending more time gambling than doing other normally enjoyable activities - Increased debt levels - Difficulty paying bills on time - Increased moodiness, irritability or anger - Deceitful behaviour towards family and friends - Believing that more gambling will solve financial problems - Using apps and online gambling to gamble all the time If you have a problem with gambling, it may be affecting not just yourself, but those closest to you. An addiction to gambling can be destructive to your relationships with family and friends. You may even find yourself selling items or borrowing money in order to gamble. Guilt and shame are common emotions of a gambling addict. Our Client Connect Team is warm and always ready to help you in the search for the right psychologists for therapy. Choose The Three Seas and find a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) near you! ### A psychologist can help you to regain control of your life. If you have a gambling problem, call today and start getting the treatment you need. --- ### [Financial stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/financial-stress/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## Financial stress can severely impact on a person’s mental health Sometimes financial worries can seem overwhelming and can cause extreme stress and anxiety. In a relationship, financial stress and hardship can place extra pressure on the relationship and cause arguments. The following signs are often found in connection with financial stress: - Headaches - Stomach aches and/or butterflies - Difficulty sleeping - Worrying about money - Arguing with a partner over money - Being anxious about reading mail or emails that may be bills - Hiding bills from your partner - Feeling guilty spending money on non-essentials If you can identify with the above signs, you may be suffering from financial stress and will benefit from counselling to manage the stress and discuss your financial habits. If your money worries are causing issues in your relationship, speaking to a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can often help. Talking to a trained psychologist can provide a safe environment to explore how financial stress is impacting on your life and relationships. In a counselling session, you can learn ways to talk to your partner about money issues without causing an argument. ### If you feel that financial worries are impacting your relationship, call now and make an appointment today to speak to a Three Seas psychologist. At The Three Seas, we also offer a variety of [online therapy services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) including phone counselling, telehealth counselling, and more! --- ### [Family Relationship Counselling Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Friendships, strong relations with friends and healthy family relationship can really help in having good mental health. Friends and family relationships pass vital life skills throughout person’s lifespan. The Three Seas helps people build better relationships with family and friends. ### How to maintain a healthy relationship with friends and family? Humans start their entire learning process based around their interactions with family and friends and these relationships pass on vital life skills throughout a person’s lifespan.[![mental health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Mental-illness.jpg)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Mental-illness.jpg) Loneliness and a lack of human interaction can be a trigger for mental health problems such as [low self-esteem](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-esteem-counselling/) and [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/). We are social creatures and evolved in groups. For our communities to exist in the first place, friendships had to be formed. As such, relationships can be thought of as forming the very fabric of society itself. Without family and friends, it is unlikely we would have altruism such as charity outside of these groups. People tend to gravitate to others who are similar to them. These people may be experiencing similar life events, like having babies or putting their kids through the same school, or following the same religion. Sometimes it can require effort to diversify a friendship group. Like all relationships, those with friends and family relationship don’t always go smoothly and when they go wrong, because of their very closeness, they can hurt all the more. We need friends, but cultivating the right friendship groups and navigating the complex relationships of a family is difficult. **If you are struggling in your relationships with your friends or family and need to talk to an expert, call and make an appointment with a psychologist today.** We have 3 clinics across Melbourne with supportive [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) ready to help. Our client Connect Team will match you up with a suitable Psychologist based on your needs. Call today (03) 9809 1000 - [30+ Team of Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) - 3 Melbourne Locations — [KNOX](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/westfield-knox/) | [RICHMOND](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/richmond/) | [CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) - [Family Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) - [Couples/Relationship Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling/) - Fully Registered with AHPRA - [Medicare Rebates available](https://thethreeseas.com.au/faq-and-rebates/) - Open Late / After Hours --- ### [Erectile dysfunction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/erectile-dysfunction/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## If a couple is trying for a family and the man have erectile dysfunction or problem maintaining an erection then it is likely that having a baby is no longer the only problem at hand. The couple may feel emotional issues, have communication problems and the man can often feel confidence issues and guilt. Male infertility isn’t uncommon – for about one in five infertile couples, the issue lies with the man. Most commonly this is related to the sperm themselves. In rare cases there is a hormonal problem from the pituitary gland, but in the majority of cases it is either: a blockage in the tubes, low numbers of sperm or antibodies which stop the sperm binding to the egg. In the case of erectile dysfunction your GP might recommend a drug treatment or counselling. The emotional rollercoaster that is the journey to being a parent produces some of the most challenging issues for a couple to deal with. If you are going through this at the moment you don’t need to go through it alone. Speaking with a Three Seas [qualified psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) can provide really valuable insights into you, your partner and each others’ feelings. This can lead to more support for each other and less stress hormones in your body, which can make things worse. ### Call today and make an appointment for a professional counselling session with a qualified psychologist. --- ### [Understanding the Role of a Relationship Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-the-role-of-a-relationship-psychologist/) **Published:** November 7, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## **Understanding the Role of a Relationship Psychologist** In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining healthy relationships can be challenging. Whether it’s with a partner, family member, or friend, relationships require effort and understanding. This is where a relationship psychologist can play a significant role. By offering guidance and support, these professionals help individuals and couples navigate the complexities of their relationships. ## **What is a Relationship Psychologist?** A relationship psychologist is a trained professional who specialises in understanding and improving interpersonal relationships. They often hold advanced degrees in psychology and have extensive training in relationship dynamics. Their goal is to help clients develop healthier and more fulfilling relationships by identifying and addressing underlying issues. ### **Distinction from Other Relationship Professionals** While terms like “relationship coaching” and “couples counseling” are often used interchangeably with relationship psychology, there are distinct differences. Relationship coaches may focus on current issues and work towards future goals, often without needing formal psychological training. In contrast, relationship psychologists delve deeper into the psychological aspects and often work with more complex issues. ## **The Importance of Relationship Psychology** Healthy relationships are crucial for overall well-being. Research shows that strong relationships can lead to better mental health, increased longevity, and greater life satisfaction. A relationship psychologist can provide the tools and insights needed to build and maintain these vital connections. ### **Addressing Common Relationship Issues** Relationship psychologists deal with a variety of issues, such as: - Communication Problems: Misunderstandings and lack of effective communication are common in relationships. Psychologists can teach techniques to improve dialogue and understanding between partners. - Trust Issues: Past betrayals or insecurities can lead to trust issues. A psychologist helps rebuild trust through therapeutic exercises and open discussions. - Conflict Resolution: Disagreements are natural, but how they are handled can make or break a relationship. Psychologists provide strategies for resolving conflicts healthily and constructively. ### Benefits of Seeking Professional Help Seeking help from a relationship psychologist can lead to several benefits, including: - Improved communication skills. - Enhanced emotional connection. - Better conflict resolution abilities. - Increased self-awareness and personal growth. ## What to Expect in a Session When visiting a relationship psychologist, it’s normal to feel a bit anxious about what to expect. Here’s a general overview of what typically happens during sessions. ### Initial Assessment The first session usually involves an assessment where the psychologist will ask questions to understand the dynamics of the relationship and the issues at hand. This helps in creating a tailored approach that suits the unique needs of the individuals involved. ### Setting Goals Together, the psychologist and the clients will set specific goals to work towards. These goals might include improving communication, rebuilding trust, or resolving specific conflicts. ### Therapeutic Techniques Relationship psychologists use various techniques and therapies depending on the issues and goals. Some common methods include: - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ([CBT](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne/ "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne")): Helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns. - Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Focuses on building stronger emotional bonds and improving attachment. - Narrative Therapy: Encourages individuals to reframe their personal narratives in a more positive light. ## The Role of a Relationship Psychologist in Couples Counselling Couples counseling is a major aspect of relationship psychology. It focuses on helping couples understand and resolve issues to improve their relationship. ### Enhancing Relationship Satisfaction Couples counseling aims to increase relationship satisfaction by addressing issues like lack of intimacy, frequent arguments, or differing life goals. Through guided conversations and exercises, couples can reconnect and strengthen their bond. ### Coping with Major Life Changes Life changes, such as having a baby, moving, or changing jobs, can put a strain on relationships. A relationship psychologist can help couples navigate these transitions smoothly. ## When to Seek Help from a Relationship Psychologist It can be difficult to know when it’s time to seek professional help for your relationship. However, some signs indicate it’s time to consult a relationship psychologist: - Persistent communication issues. - Loss of emotional or physical connection. - Repeated arguments about the same issues. - Considering separation or divorce. - Feeling stuck or unhappy in the relationship. ## How to Find a Qualified Relationship Psychologist Finding the right relationship psychologist can make a significant difference in the success of your therapy. Here are some tips to find a qualified professional: ### Research and Referrals Start by researching online and asking for referrals from friends or family who have had positive experiences with a psychologist. Websites that list certified professionals can also be a good resource. ### Check Credentials Ensure the psychologist has the necessary [qualifications](https://www.ahpra.gov.au) and certifications. They should hold a degree in psychology and have specialised training in relationship counselling. ### Initial Consultation with a Relationship Psychologist Before committing, consider scheduling an initial consultation to see if the psychologist is the right fit. This meeting can help you gauge their approach and determine if you feel comfortable working with them. ## Conclusion Relationship psychologists play a vital role in helping individuals and couples foster healthier, happier relationships. Whether you’re dealing with communication problems, trust issues, or any other relationship challenges, these professionals provide the guidance and tools necessary for improvement. By seeking the help of a relationship psychologist, you can gain valuable insights into your relationship dynamics and work towards building stronger connections with your loved ones. --- ### [Finding the Right Psychologist in Your Area](https://thethreeseas.com.au/finding-the-right-psychologist-in-your-area/) **Published:** November 26, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** Finding the right psychologist in your area can be a daunting task. It’s a crucial step towards mental wellness, yet it often feels overwhelming. This guide aims to simplify the process. It provides comprehensive guidance to help you find a [registered psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Meet Our Psychologists") that fits your needs. We’ll explore the steps to take when starting your search. We’ll also discuss the importance of checking a psychologist’s credentials and understanding their specialties. Online directories, reviews, and recommendations can be invaluable resources. We’ll delve into how to use these tools effectively. Logistics such as location, availability, and costs are also key considerations. We’ll guide you through these aspects to ensure you make an informed decision. By the end of this guide, you’ll be equipped with the knowledge and resources to find the right psychologist in your area. Your journey towards mental wellness starts here. ## Understanding the Role of a Psychologist Psychologists play a vital role in mental health care. They are trained to assess, diagnose, and treat emotional or behavioural issues. Unlike psychiatrists, who may prescribe medication, psychologists focus primarily on psychotherapy and counselling. Registered psychologists use evidence-based techniques to help individuals cope with mental health challenges. They work with clients to set therapy goals, monitor progress, and adjust treatment plans as needed. Their expertise spans various specialties, including cognitive-behavioural therapy, child psychology, and more. Understanding a psychologist’s role can help you gauge what to expect from the therapy process. ## Steps to Start Your Search Finding the right psychologist involves several crucial steps. Begin by identifying your specific needs or the type of support you seek. Determine whether you need individual therapy, family counseling, or another type of psychological service. Next, create a shortlist of potential psychologists. You can do this by: - Asking for referrals from friends, family, or healthcare providers. - Using online directories and search engines. - Checking psychological association websites for registered professionals. Take time to investigate each psychologist on your list. Look into their specialties, experience, and approach to therapy. This research will help you narrow down your choices, ensuring you select a psychologist who aligns with your needs. ## Credentials and Qualifications When choosing a psychologist, it’s vital to consider their credentials. Make sure they are a registered psychologist with the appropriate licensing board. This confirms that they have met all necessary educational and professional standards. In addition, evaluate their qualifications and expertise. Pay attention to their degrees, certifications, and ongoing education. A psychologist’s continuous learning can indicate their commitment to staying updated with the latest practices. Prioritising a well-qualified professional enhances the chances of successful therapy. ## Specialties and Therapeutic Approaches Psychologists often specialise in specific areas of mental health. Some focus on conditions like anxiety or depression, while others may work with children or specialize in couples therapy. Identifying a psychologist whose specialty aligns with your needs can greatly enhance your therapy experience. Different psychologists also utilise various therapeutic approaches. Whether it’s cognitive-behavioural therapy, psychodynamic therapy, or another method, understanding these approaches helps in finding one that resonates with you. Consider what types of therapy you feel most comfortable with to ensure a productive relationship. ## Utilising Online Directories and Search Engines Online directories and search engines are valuable tools in your quest to find a psychologist. These platforms allow you to filter professionals based on specialties, location, and even fees. This can save you significant time and effort in the search process. To effectively use these resources, consider the following: - Use specific keywords like “psychologist near me” or “registered psychologist.” - Look for directories maintained by recognised psychological associations. - Prioritise listings with comprehensive profiles and verified credentials. These steps can help you gather essential information to make an informed decision. ## Reading Reviews and Getting Recommendations Reviews and recommendations are crucial for finding a psychologist who fits your needs. Reading reviews provides insight into others’ experiences and the quality of care they received. This feedback can guide your decision-making and help you avoid pitfalls. Recommendations from friends or family can be equally valuable. They might have first-hand experiences with mental health professionals in your area. By combining reviews and personal recommendations, you can narrow down your options to trusted psychologists. ## Logistics: Location, Availability, and Costs When searching for a “psychologist near me,” consider the practical aspects of location and convenience. A nearby psychologist can reduce travel time, making appointments easier to fit into your schedule. Location plays an important role in maintaining consistency with therapy sessions. Availability is another crucial factor. Ensure the psychologist’s schedule aligns with your own to prevent conflicts. Lastly, understand the costs involved, as therapy can be expensive. Check whether your insurance covers sessions and any out-of-pocket expenses. Budgeting effectively ensures consistent access to mental health care without financial strain. ## Initial Consultation and Assessing Compatibility The initial consultation is a vital step in finding the right psychologist. It’s an opportunity to evaluate whether you and the psychologist are a good fit. This first meeting is often a low-pressure session to explore your needs and expectations. During the consultation, pay attention to your comfort level with the psychologist. Consider asking the following questions: - What is their therapeutic approach? - How do they handle confidentiality? - Do they have experience with your specific mental health concerns? Choosing someone you trust and feel understood by can enhance the effectiveness of the therapy process. ## Teletherapy and Modern Psychological Practices [Teletherapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/ "Online Counselling: Telehealth and Telephone Counselling") is becoming a popular option for many seeking psychological help. It provides flexibility and convenience, allowing therapy to fit better into your busy life. With teletherapy, you can connect with a psychologist from the comfort of your home. Modern technology has expanded the reach of psychological services. This makes it easier to find a psychologist specializing in your needs, even if they’re not local. Many psychologists now offer video or phone sessions, which can be just as effective as in-person meetings. It’s important to ensure your chosen psychologist is skilled in providing remote therapy. ## When to Consider Changing Psychologists Sometimes, you may feel your current psychologist isn’t the right fit. It’s important to trust your instincts if therapy doesn’t feel effective or comfortable. Misalignment in approach or difficulty in communication could signal a need for change. Evaluate how you feel after each session. If you’re not seeing progress or if there’s a lack of connection, it might be time to explore other options. Open communication with your psychologist about your concerns can also provide clarity. Remember, finding the right support is crucial for effective therapy and personal growth. --- ### [Sitemap](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sitemap/) **Published:** November 10, 2023 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ### Posts - [(no title)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?p=40217) - [1 in 12 Australians Affected by Acquired Brain Injury (ABI).](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/1-in-12-australians-affected-by-acquired-brain-injury-abi/) - [10 NEW Mental Health Tips for a Better Workplace](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/10-mental-health-tips-for-a-better-workplace/) - [20 Topics to Discuss With Your Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/20-topics-to-discuss-with-your-children/) - [3 Tips for Managing Hyperfocus](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/3-tips-for-managing-hyperfocus/) - [4 Key Benefits of Christian Marriage Counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/christian-marriage-counselling-in-melbourne/) - [4 Simple Tips for Breaking the Cycle of Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/4-simple-tips-for-breaking-the-cycle-of-depression/) - [5 ‘Homework’ Exercises to Get the Most Out of Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-homework-exercises-to-get-the-most-out-of-therapy/) - [5 Common Parenting Practices That Hurt Kids](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-common-parenting-practices-that-hurt-kids/) - [5 Home Remedies for Insomnia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-home-remedies-for-insomnia/) - [5 Lifestyle Strategies for Better Sleep: Tips from Melbourne Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-lifestyle-strategies-for-better-sleep-tips-from-melbourne-psychologists/) - [5 Myths About Domestic Violence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-myths-about-domestic-violence/) - [5 Physical Symptoms That Could Be Due to Mental Health Issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-physical-symptoms-due-mental-health-issues/) - [5 Psychological Benefits of Spending Time Outside](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-psychological-benefits-spending-time-outside/) - [5 Relationship Skills to Master for a Better Marriage](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-relationship-skills-to-master-for-a-better-marriage/) - [5 Signs You Need a New Counsellor or Therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-signs-you-need-a-new-counsellor-or-therapist/) - [5 Signs You Need Couples Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-signs-you-need-couples-counselling/) - [5 Signs You’re Not Ready for Couples Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-signs-youre-not-ready-for-couples-therapy/) - [5 Strategies for Dealing With Stress at Work](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-strategies-dealing-stress-work/) - [5 Strategies for Managing Your Child’s ADHD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-strategies-for-managing-your-childs-adhd/) - [5 Strategies That Can Improve Your Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-strategies-that-can-improve-your-relationship-from-a-therapist/) - [5 Things Good Marriage Counsellors Do](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-things-good-marriage-counsellors-do/) - [5 Tips for Alleviating Stress Right Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-tips-alleviating-stress-right-now/) - [5 Ways Counselling Can Help You Lose Weight](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-ways-counselling-can-help-you-lose-weight/) - [5 Ways You Can Support a Depressed Loved One](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/5-ways-can-support-depressed-loved-one/) - [6 Rules for Better Communication](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/6-rules-for-better-communication-with-loved-ones/) - [6 Steps to Increasing your Motivation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/6-steps-to-increasing-your-motivation/) - [A Guide to Mental Health Care Plans in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/a-guide-to-understanding-mental-health-care-plans-in-australia/) - [Abusive Relationship Warning Signs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/abusive-relationship-warning-signs/) - [Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – Life on life’s terms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-life-on-lifes-terms/) - [ADHD in Adults: Signs, Diagnosis, and How to Get Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/adhd-in-adults-signs-diagnosis-and-how-to-get-support/) - [AI Psychotherapy: A Promising Development or a Doomed Future?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/ai-psychotherapy-a-promising-development-or-a-doomed-future/) - [Analyzing Masculine Psychology Through the Lens of “Barbie”](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/analyzing-masculine-psychology-through-the-lens-of-barbie/) - [Are Mental Illnesses Disabilities?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/are-mental-illnesses-disabilities/) - [Are You Thinking About Suicide?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/are-you-thinking-about-suicide/) - [Australia’s New Porn Website Laws, What They Mean & When Porn Use Becomes Unhealthy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/porn-laws-australia-porn-addiction-help/) - [Australian Cosmetic Surgery: Psychologist Safety Assessment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/new-cosmetic-surgery-guidelines-in-australia-doctor-referral-and-psychologist-assessment-for-patient-safety/) - [Autism Assessments for Adults & Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/autism-assessments-for-adults-children/) - [Autism Spectrum Disorder Assessments at The Three Seas](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/autism-spectrum-disorder-assessments-at-the-three-seas/) - [Being Assertive: How to Express your Desire](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/being-assertive-how-to-express-your-desire/) - [Can You Treat Mental Illness Without Medication?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/can-you-treat-mental-illness-without-medication/) - [Children diagnosed with depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/childrendiagnosedwithdepression/) - [Christian Marriage Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/christian-marriage-counselling/) - [Christmas and families don’t always mix well.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/xmas-and-families-dont-always-mix/) - [Codependency](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/codependency/) - [Coping Tips for Trauma](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/coping-tips-for-trauma/) - [Coping with lockdowns during the pandemic](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/coping-with-lockdowns-during-the-pandemic/) - [Coping with social anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/coping-with-social-anxiety/) - [Cost of Living Crisis in Mental Health Care](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/cost-of-living-crisis-in-mental-health-care/) - [Counselling for Grief: Five Things You Need to Understand About Grief](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/counselling-for-grief-five-things-you-need-to-understand-about-grief/) - [Couples Counseling for Rebuilding Relationships with Expert Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?p=40214) - [Couples Counselling & Marriage Counselling, the Difference](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-difference-between-couples-counselling-marriage-counselling/) - [Couples Counselling Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/couples-counselling-melbourne/) - [Couples Counselling: Does it Work or Just End in Divorce?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/couples-counselling-does-it-work-or-just-end-in-a-more-expensive-divorce/) - [Couples Counselling: Inside Celebrity Marriages](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/couples-counselling-inside-celebrity-marriages/) - [Daily Mindfulness Practices You Can Use Everyday](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/daily-mindfulness-practices-you-can-use-everyday/) - [Dealing With Animal Phobias](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/dealing-animal-phobias/) - [Dealing with Grief and Loss](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/dealing-with-grief-and-loss/) - [Decoding the Enneagram: A Map to Self-Discovery](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/decoding-the-enneagram-a-map-to-self-discovery/) - [Dialectical Behaviour Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/dialectical-behaviour-therapy/) - [Do Counsellors Take Sides](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/counsellors-take-sides/) - [Do I Have Depression?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/do-i-have-depression/) - [Do I Need Counselling?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/do-i-need-counselling/) - [Does Therapy Work? Psychologists Explain What Makes Therapy Effective](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/does-therapy-work-psychologists-explain-what-makes-therapy-effective/) - [Early Childhood Experiences – Shaping Worldviews](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-early-childhood-experiences-can-shape-our-worldview-as-adults/) - [Essential tips for having a good night sleep! (8 tips for an 8-hour sleep)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/essential-tips-for-having-a-good-night-sleep-8-tips-for-an-8-hour-sleep/) - [Ethics in Psychology: A Guide for Clients in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/ethics-in-psychology-a-guide-for-clients-in-melbourne/) - [Exploring Sensory AI: Transforming the Future of Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/exploring-sensory-ai-transforming-the-future-of-psychology/) - [Exploring the Impact of Pet Ownership on Dating Preferences](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/exploring-the-impact-of-pet-ownership-on-dating-preferences/) - [Finding the Right Psychotherapist in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/finding-the-right-psychotherapist-in-melbourne/) - [Five New Rules for Parenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-new-rules-for-parenting/) - [Five Reasons Not to Yell at Your Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-reasons-not-to-yell-at-your-children/) - [Five Reasons to Get Moving](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-reasons-to-get-moving/) - [Five Rules for Protecting Your Children Through a Divorce](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-rules-for-protecting-your-children-through-a-divorce/) - [Five Things Counselling Can Offer You](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-things-counselling-can-offer-you/) - [Five Things You Can Do Now to Reduce Your Risk of Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-things-you-can-do-now-to-reduce-your-risk-of-alzheimers-and-other-dementias/) - [Five Things You Need to Know About Antidepressants](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-things-need-know-antidepressants/) - [Five Tips for Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-tips-for-keeping-your-new-years-resolutions/) - [Five Tips for Quitting Smoking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/five-tips-for-quitting-smoking/) - [Forgiveness and the Importance of Forgiving](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/forgiveness-and-the-importance-of-forgiving/) - [Four Things You Can Do to Improve Body Image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/four-things-can-improve-body-image/) - [Gender and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/now-those-people-are-crazy/) - [GLP-1s and Mental Health: Body Image, Weight Loss and Psychological Wellbeing](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/glp-1s-and-mental-health-body-image-weight-loss-and-psychological-wellbeing/) - [Grounding Mats and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/grounding-mats-and-mental-health/) - [Grounding Techniques to Calm Your Mind](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/grounding-techniques-to-calm-your-mind/) - [Help! My Antidepressants Are Not Working](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/help-antidepressants-not-working/) - [Here’s one for chocoholics to chew on…](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/chocolate-effect-on-memory/) - [How Body Image Affects Your Relationship and the Role Men Play.](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-body-image-affects-your-relationship-and-the-role-men-play/) - [How can counselling help a broken relationship?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-can-counselling-help-a-broken-relationship/) - [How do I get help without my parents knowing?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-do-i-get-help-without-my-parents-knowing/) - [How Long Does Therapy Take?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-long-does-therapy-take/) - [How Parental Conflict Affects Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/parental-conflict-affects-children/) - [How Retirement Can Affect Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/retirement-can-affect-mental-health/) - [How therapy or psychology can work with you to lose weight](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/trying-to-lose-weight-this-year-five-ways-to-stick-to-your-goals/) - [How to Access Affordable Mental Health Services in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-access-affordable-mental-health-services-in-australia/) - [How to Break Destructive Relationship Patterns Once and for All](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/break-destructive-relationship-patterns/) - [How to Choose a Psychiatrist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-choose-a-psychiatrist/) - [How to Cope When Your Relationship or Marriage is In Trouble](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/cope-relationship-marriage-trouble/) - [How to Encourage a Loved One to Seek Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-encourage-a-loved-one-to-seek-therapy/) - [How to Help Someone Who Is Struggling with Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-help-someone-who-is-struggling-with-depression/) - [How to Make the Most of Enhanced Walking for Mental & Physical Well-being](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-make-the-most-of-enhanced-walking-for-mental-physical-well-being/) - [How to Manage Panic Attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-manage-panic-attacks/) - [How to Manage Your Post-Holiday Blues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-manage-your-post-holiday-blues/) - [How to Set Clear Boundaries at the Holidays](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/how-to-set-clear-boundaries-at-the-holidays/) - [How Traumatic Events Affect the Brain and Body](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/traumatic-events-affect-brain-body/) - [If I Have a Mental Illness, Do I Have to Take Medication?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/if-i-have-a-mental-illness-do-i-have-to-take-medication/) - [Improve Your Mental Health With Exercise](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/improve-your-mental-health-with-exercise/) - [Improving Your Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/improving-your-relationship/) - [Is Artificial Intelligence Dangerous for People with OCD?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/is-artificial-intelligence-dangerous-for-people-with-ocd/) - [Is Social Media Bad for Your Mental Health?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/social-media-bad-mental-health/) - [Is your relationship in decline?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/is-your-relationship-in-decline/) - [It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas Stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/its-beginning-to-feel-a-lot-like-christmas-stress/) - [Little Reminders to Self-Care](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/little-reminders-to-self-care/) - [Living and Dealing with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/living-with-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/) - [Loneliness & the impact on your mental & physical health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/loneliness-and-mental-health/) - [Low Libido? Five Strategies for Getting it Back](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/low-libido-five-strategies-for-getting-it-back/) - [Managing Anxiety in Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/managing-anxiety-in-chidlren/) - [Managing Anxiety: Study Suggests Trauma More Prevalent Than You Might Think](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/managing-anxiety-study-suggests-trauma-more-prevalent-than-you-might-think/) - [Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Private Psychology: What’s the Difference?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/medicare-mental-health-check-in-vs-private-psychology-whats-the-difference/) - [Mental Health First Aid: 5 Things to Do When You Need to Feel Better Right Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/mental-health-first-aid-5-things-to-do-when-you-need-to-feel-better-right-now/) - [Money and Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/money-and-psychology/) - [More Sex Won’t Increase Your Happiness, But Marriage Counselling Could](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/more-sex-wont-increase-your-happiness-but-marriage-counselling-could/) - [Navigating Perimenopause — Mental Health, Mood Swings and What You Can Do](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/navigating-perimenopause-mental-health-mood-swings-and-what-you-can-do/) - [Nervous About Trying Counselling? Here’s What to Expect](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/nervous-about-trying-counselling-heres-what-to-expect/) - [New Funding for Eating Disorder Treatment in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/new-funding-for-eating-disorder-treatment-in-australia/) - [New Year’s Resolutions and Loosening the ‘Shoulds’](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/new-years-resolutions-and-loosening-the-shoulds/) - [Nick Bonner on Schema Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/nick-bonner-on-schema-therapy/) - [Olympic Games Paris 2024 and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/olympic-games-paris-2024-and-mental-health/) - [Openness: How can I become a more open person?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/openness-how-can-i-become-a-more-open-person/) - [Overcoming your fear of the unknown](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/overcoming-your-fear-of-the-unknown/) - [Parenting Tips & How to Make Parenting Easier?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/make-parenting-easier/) - [Passive or passive- aggressive?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/passive-or-passive-aggressive/) - [Personal boundaries – simple but not easy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/personal-boundaries-simple-but-not-easy/) - [Personal Resilience](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/personal-resilience/) - [Personality Disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/personality-disorders/) - [Pregnancy and Mental Health: Understanding Prenatal and Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, and Other Issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/pregnancy-mental-health-understanding-prenatal-postpartum-depression-anxiety-issues/) - [Preventing Anxiety and Phobias in Children: 5 Things Parents Can Do](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/preventing-anxiety-and-phobias-in-children-5-things-parents-can-do/) - [Psychiatrist vs Psychologist vs Counsellor?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-are-the-differences-between-psychologists-counsellors-psychiatrists/) - [Psychological Strategies for New Year’s Resolutions Success](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychological-strategies-for-new-years-resolutions-success/) - [Psychological Treatment for Anorexia Nervosa: A Comprehensive Guide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychological-treatment-for-anorexia-nervosa-a-comprehensive-guide/) - [Psychologists & Psychiatrists, What’s the Difference?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/psychologists-and-psychiatrists-whats-the-difference/) - [Psychology and Money: Understanding Your Financial Behaviour](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/unlocking-the-mind-exploring-the-psychology-of-money/) - [Quitting Medication? Here’s How to Make the Transition Easier](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/quitting-medication-heres-how-to-make-the-transition-easier/) - [R U not OK being not OK? Because that’s OK!](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/r-u-not-ok-being-not-ok-because-thats-ok/) - [R U OK? Every Day](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/r-u-ok-every-day/) - [Redefining Feminism: The Barbie Movie and Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/redefining-feminism-the-barbie-movie-and-mental-health/) - [Relationship Struggles: When Love and Culture Clash](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/relationship-struggles-when-love-and-culture-clash/) - [Relationship Traps](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/relationship-traps/) - [SCHOOLIES WEEK SAFETY](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/schoolies/) - [Self Compassion Part 1](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/self-compassion-part-1/) - [Self Compassion Part 2](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/increasing-self-compassion/) - [September is Suicide Awareness Month: 5 Things You Need to Know About Suicide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/september-is-suicide-awareness-month-5-things-you-need-to-know-about-suicide/) - [Signs You May Be Stuck in a Trauma Response, According to Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-you-may-be-stuck-in-a-trauma-response-according-to-psychologists/) - [Signs You Might Need Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-you-might-need-therapy/) - [Signs Your Child May Need to See a Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-your-child-may-need-to-see-a-psychologist/) - [Signs Your Child Might Have an Anxiety Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/signs-your-child-might-have-an-anxiety-disorder/) - [Social Anxiety is normal after self-isolation!](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/social-anxiety-is-normal-after-self-isolation/) - [Statement Regarding Recent Media Coverage](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/statement-regarding-recent-media-coverage/) - [Striving for happiness could be making you unhappy!](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/striving-for-happiness-could-be-making-you-unhappy/) - [SUPPORT MOVEMBER](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/movember/) - [Taming your Temper](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/taming-your-temper/) - [Teen Eating Disorders: What Parents Can Do to Help](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/teen-eating-disorders-parents-can-help/) - [The Australian Psychological Society](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/australian-psychological-society/) - [The Impact of the 2023 Federal Budget on Psychology in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-impact-of-australias-2023-federal-budget-on-psychology-in-melbourne/) - [The Physical Symptoms of Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-physical-symptoms-of-depression/) - [The Psychology of Infidelity](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-psychology-of-infidelity/) - [The Role of a Relationship Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?p=40292) - [The role of a therapist or psychologist. What Do Therapists Do, Anyway?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/the-role-of-a-therapist-or-psychologist/) - [The Three Seas Mind, Heart, and Body Couples Retreat](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/three-seas-mind-heart-body-couples-retreat/) - [Tips for Disclosing Your Mental Illness to Loved Ones](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tips-for-disclosing-your-mental-illness-to-loved-ones/) - [Top Predictors of Relationship Satisfaction – Advice from Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/top-predictors-of-relationship-satisfaction-advice-from-psychologists/) - [Transforming ADHD Support Services in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/adhd-assessment-melbourne/) - [Trauma and PTSD: When trauma leaves its mark](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/trauma-and-ptsd-when-trauma-leaves-its-mark/) - [Twenty Ways Therapy or Psychology Can Improve Your Life](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/twenty-ways-therapy-or-psychology-can-improve-your-life/) - [Understanding Anxiety: What’s Normal, and When to Seek Help](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-anxiety-whats-normal-and-when-to-seek-help/) - [Understanding Anxiety. Symptoms, Causes and Evidence‑Based Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-anxiety-symptoms-causes-and-evidence%e2%80%91based-support/) - [Understanding Childhood Trauma](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-childhood-trauma/) - [Understanding Dermatillomania](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-dermatillomania/) - [Understanding Panic Attacks and Anxiety Attacks in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-panic-attacks-and-anxiety-attacks-in-melbourne/) - [Understanding Psychological Abuse in Marriage](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-psychological-abuse-marriage/) - [Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-seasonal-affective-disorder/) - [Understanding Suicide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-suicide/) - [UNIVERSAL CHILDREN’S DAY](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/universalchildrensday/) - [Unlock Your Child’s Potential: Psychology in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/understanding-child-psychology-melbourne/) - [Valentine’s Day: Finding Connection in your Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/valentines-day-finding-connection-in-your-relationship/) - [Want Your Best Valentine’s Day Ever? Try These Tips](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/want-your-best-valentines-day-ever-try-these-tips/) - [What Grief Can Feel Like and When to Seek Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-grief-can-feel-like-and-when-to-seek-support/) - [What Happens in a Psychology Session?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-happens-in-therapy-session/) - [What if Therapy Doesn’t Work](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/therapy-doesnt-work/) - [What is a Behavioural Addiction and Could You Have One?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-a-behavioural-addiction-and-could-you-have-one/) - [What is a Mental Fitness Gym?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-a-mental-fitness-gym/) - [What is Mental Health: A Holistic Approach](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-mental-health-a-holistic-approach/) - [What is the Gottman Method?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-is-the-gottman-method/) - [What Makes a Great Counsellor? 5 Signs You’ve Chosen a Winner](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-makes-a-great-counsellor-5-signs-youve-chosen-a-winner/) - [What Makes a Happy Marriage?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-makes-happy-marriage/) - [What Mental Health Services are available in Victoria?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-mental-health-services-are-available-in-victoria/) - [What Predicts Relationship Satisfaction?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-predicts-relationship-satisfaction/) - [What Predicts Relationship Satisfaction?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-predicts-relationship-satisfaction-2/) - [What Psychologists Mean by Personality](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-psychologists-mean-by-personality/) - [What to Do if Someone You Love is in an Abusive Relationship](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/someone-love-abusive-relationship/) - [What to Do if You Feel Suicidal](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-to-do-if-you-feel-suicidal/) - [What to do in a Mental Health Emergency](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/what-to-do-in-a-mental-health-emergency/) - [What to Do When Your Kids Won’t Sleep in Their Own Rooms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/night-time-fights-with-kids-what-to-do-when-your-kids-wont-sleep-in-their-own-rooms/) - [When ADHD Significantly Impacts Your Life](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/adhd-when-inattentiveness-hyperactivity-and-impulsivity-significantly-impact-your-life/) - [When Does Anger Need Counselling?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/when-does-anger-need-counselling/) - [When I Asked ChatGPT to Be My Therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/when-i-asked-chatgpt-to-be-my-therapist/) - [When is Mental Illness Awareness Month/Week](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/when-is-mental-illness-awareness-month-week/) - [Why Do Stalkers Stalk?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/why-do-stalkers-stalk/) - [Why Parents Seek Counselling for Their Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/reasons-parents-seek-counselling-children/) - [Why People Self Harm and How to Get Help](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/why-people-self-harm-and-how-to-get-help/) - [Will My Therapist Judge Me](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/will-therapist-judge/) - [Workplace Stress: What You Need to Know](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/workplace-stress-need-know-mental-health/) - [YouTube: What Parents of Adolescents Should Know](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/youtube-what-parents-of-adolescents-should-know/) ### Pages - [Alcoholism and Binge Drinking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/alcoholism-and-binge-drinking/) - [Anger Management](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management/) - [Anger Management Course Melbourne | Join Waitlist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management-course-melbourne/) - [Anger Management Group Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anger-management-groups/) - [Anxiety & Anxiety Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=128) - [Anxiety in Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-in-children/) - [Anxiety Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-treatment/) - [Anxiety Treatment & Therapy in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-clinic/) - [Assessment: YSQ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=4091) - [Assessment: YSQ](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ysq/) - [Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1844) - [Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/adhd-melbourne/) - [Autism (ASD) Assessments Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-assessments-melbourne/) - [Autism (ASD) Support and Understanding](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-asd-support-and-understanding/) - [Bipolar Disorder Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=146) - [Bipolar Disorder Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bipolar-disorder-treatment/) - [Blog](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/) - [Body Image Issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=477) - [Body Image Issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/body-image-issues/) - [Bulimia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=150) - [Bulimia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bulimia/) - [Bullying Behaviours and Being Bullied](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=422) - [Bullying Behaviours and Being Bullied](https://thethreeseas.com.au/bullying-behaviours-and-being-bullied/) - [Business Coaching](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1725) - [Business Coaching](https://thethreeseas.com.au/business-coaching/) - [Call Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=3565) - [Call Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-existing-customer/) - [Call Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-bulk-billed/) - [Careers With Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1393) - [Careers With Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/careers-with-us/) - [Carers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/carers/) - [Child Psychologists in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/child-psychologists/) - [Child Psychologists in Melbourne old](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1164) - [Choose Your Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choose-your-psychologist/) - [Choosing a Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=621) - [Choosing a Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/choosing-a-psychologist/) - [Client Registration Form & DASS 21](https://thethreeseas.com.au/client-registration-form-dass-21/) - [Codependency Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=3304) - [Codependency Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/codependency-counselling/) - [Cognitive Assessments](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/) - [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=3221) - [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-behaviour-therapy-melbourne-2/) - [Communication issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=156) - [Communication issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/communication-issues/) - [Confidentiality and Disclosure of Personal Information](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=11096) - [Confidentiality and Disclosure of Personal Information](https://thethreeseas.com.au/confidentiality-and-disclosure-of-personal-information/) - [Conflict — Arguing and Fighting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=525) - [Conflict — Arguing and Fighting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/arguing-and-fighting/) - [Contact Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=271) - [Brighton](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=3353) - [Psychology Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=39970) - [Psychology Melbourne City](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1972) - [Psychology Northcote](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=25902) - [Psychology Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1241) - [Psychology Westfield Knox](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1246) - [Psychology Westfield Knox](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us-2/psychology-westfield-knox/) - [Contact Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) - [Psychology Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-fitzroy-north/) - [Psychology Melbourne City](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-melbourne-city/) - [Psychology Northcote](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-northcote/) - [Psychology Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/psychology-richmond/) - [Coparenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=154) - [Coparenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/coparenting/) - [Counselling FAQs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=623) - [Counselling FAQs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/counselling-faqs/) - [Couples Counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-counselling-melbourne/) - [Couples Retreat](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=699) - [Couples Retreat](https://thethreeseas.com.au/couples-retreat/) - [COVID-19 Update : Psychological Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=11116) - [COVID-19 Update : Psychological Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/covid-19-update-psychological-services/) - [DASS 21](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=4080) - [DASS 21](https://thethreeseas.com.au/dass-21-2/) - [DBT Group Skills Training](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=30175) - [DBT Group Skills Training](https://thethreeseas.com.au/dbt-group-skills-training/) - [Depression Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1160) - [Depression Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/depression-treatment/) - [Divorce and Separation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=153) - [Divorce and Separation](https://thethreeseas.com.au/divorce-and-separation/) - [Domestic Violence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=1172) - [Domestic Violence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/domestic-violence/) - [Drug addiction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=131) - [Drug Addiction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/drug-addiction/) - [Drug use](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=411) - [Drug use](https://thethreeseas.com.au/drug-use-2/) - [EAP — Information for Employers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=2992) - [EAP — Information for Employers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program-eap-information-employers/) - [Eating Disorder Treatment Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anorexia/) - [Elementor #39814](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=39814) - [Elementor #42302](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=42302) - [Elementor #42861](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=42861) - [Elementor #42885](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=42885) - [Elementor #43340](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=43340) - [Employee Assistance Program](https://thethreeseas.com.au/employee-assistance-program/) - [Entitled Partnerships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/entitled-partnerships/) - [Erectile dysfunction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/erectile-dysfunction/) - [Family Relationship Counselling Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/family-counselling/) - [Fees, Medicare Rebates & Private Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/fees-medicare-rebates-private-health/) - [Financial stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/financial-stress/) - [Finding the Right Psychologist in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/finding-the-right-psychologist-in-melbourne/) - [Finding the Right Psychologist in Your Area](https://thethreeseas.com.au/finding-the-right-psychologist-in-your-area/) - [Forensic Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/forensic-psychology/) - [Free Mental Health Resources](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=38582) - [Free Mental Health Resources](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources/) - [Psychology Workshops & Programs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources/psychology-workshops-programs/) - [Free Mental Health Resources - Content](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources-content/) - [Gambling addiction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/gambling-addiction/) - [General FAQs](https://thethreeseas.com.au/general-faqs/) - [Generalised Anxiety Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/generalised-anxiety-disorder/) - [Grief and loss](https://thethreeseas.com.au/grief-and-loss/) - [Home](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=50) - [Home](https://thethreeseas.com.au/) - [LGBTQAI+ Affirming Psychologists in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-three-seas-psychology-group/lgbtqai-affirming-psychologists-in-melbourne-safe-inclusive-therapy/) - [Home stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/home-stress/) - [How to Help Someone with Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/how-to-help-someone-with-depression/) - [Individual Therapy in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/individual-therapy-in-melbourne/) - [Infertility Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/infertility-counselling/) - [Insomnia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-treatment/) - [Insomnia in Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/insomnia-in-children/) - [Intimacy issues](https://thethreeseas.com.au/intimacy-issues/) - [IPTA Mental Health Support Service](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ipta-mental-health-support-service/) - [Issues conceiving and IVF](https://thethreeseas.com.au/issues-conceiving-and-ivf/) - [Life Coaching](https://thethreeseas.com.au/life-coaching/) - [Low Cost Counselling Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/low-cost-counselling-melbourne/) - [Maintenance In Progress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/maintenance-in-progress/) - [Marriage Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=152) - [Match with a Psychologist at The Three Seas Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/match-with-a-psychologist-at-the-three-seas-psychology/) - [Medicare and Bulk Billing](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-and-bulk-billing/) - [Medicare Mental Health Check-In vs Ongoing Psychology Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/medicare-mental-health-check-in-vs-ongoing-psychology-support/) - [Meet Our Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) - [Meet Our Psychologists draft](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=4433) - [Meet the Client Connect Team](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-the-client-connect-team/) - [Mental Health Care Plan Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-care-plan-melbourne/) - [Mental Health Services](https://thethreeseas.com.au/mental-health-services/) - [New Page (ID #39723)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=39723) - [New Page (ID #43338)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=43338) - [Obesity](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obesity/) - [Obesity in children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obesity-in-children/) - [Obsessive compulsive disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/) - [Our Approach & Values](https://thethreeseas.com.au/our-approach-values/) - [OUR TEAM](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=6330) - [Oversleeping In Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/oversleeping-in-children/) - [Oversleeping Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/oversleeping/) - [Panic Attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks/) - [Panic Attacks In Children](https://thethreeseas.com.au/panic-attacks-in-children/) - [Parental](https://thethreeseas.com.au/parental/) - [Parenting Challenges](https://thethreeseas.com.au/parenting-challenges/) - [Perinatal Mental Health Support in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/perinatal-mental-health-support-in-melbourne/) - [Personality Disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/borderline-personality-disorder/) - [Phobia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/phobia/) - [Porn Addiction Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/porn-addiction/) - [Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/ptsd-melbourne/) - [Postnatal Support Group in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/postnatal-support-group-in-melbourne/) - [Pre and postnatal depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/pre-and-postnatal-depression/) - [Prenatal Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/prenatal-depression/) - [Privacy Policy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/privacy-policy/) - [Proven EMDR Therapy for Trauma Healing in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/emdr-therapy-melbourne/) - [Psychiatrists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychiatrists/) - [Psychoanalysis & Psychodynamic Therapy in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychoanalysis-psychodynamic-therapy-in-melbourne/) - [Psychodynamic Therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychodynamic-therapy/) - [Psychologist Melbourne | Trusted Mental Health Support - The Three Seas Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=42341) - [Psychologist Profiling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/pp/) - [Psychology Services Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=39467) - [Understanding Depression and Treatment Options](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne-2-2/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/) - [Depression Quiz](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne-2-2/understanding-depression-and-treatment-options/depression-quiz/) - [Psychology Services Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychology-services-melbourne/) - [Recommended Books and Podcasts](https://thethreeseas.com.au/recommended-books-and-podcasts/) - [REDI Couples Counselling Page](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=36552) - [Refer A GP](https://thethreeseas.com.au/refer-a-gp/) - [Relationship eBook](https://thethreeseas.com.au/relationship-ebook/) - [Relationship eBook Thank You](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=36167) - [Resources](https://thethreeseas.com.au/resources/) - [School and university stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/school-and-university-stress/) - [Search Form Entries](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=4237) - [SeedProd - ThreeSeas](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=39250) - [SeedProd - ThreeSeas](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=41311) - [Self belief and confidence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-belief-and-confidence/) - [Self-esteem counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-esteem-counselling/) - [Self-harm](https://thethreeseas.com.au/self-harm/) - [Sex Addiction Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-addiction-counselling/) - [Sex Addiction Counselling in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-addiction-counselling-in-melbourne/) - [Sex Therapy & Intimacy Support in Melbourne](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sex-therapy-intimacy-support-in-melbourne/) - [Sitemap](https://thethreeseas.com.au/sitemap/) - [Social Anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-anxiety/) - [Social media and gaming addiction](https://thethreeseas.com.au/social-media-and-gaming-addiction/) - [Suicide](https://thethreeseas.com.au/suicide/) - [Teen Mental Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/teen-mental-health/) - [Telehealth and Telephone Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/telehealth-online-and-phone-consultations/) - [Terms and Conditions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/terms-and-condition/) - [Test Home](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=2276) - [Thank You](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?page_id=936) - [Thank You](https://thethreeseas.com.au/thank-you/) - [Thank You for Booking](https://thethreeseas.com.au/thank-you-for-booking/) - [The GP Referral Hub](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-gp-referral-hub/) - [The Three Seas Group Fee Structures](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-three-seas-group-fee-structures/) - [The Three Seas Latest News](https://thethreeseas.com.au/the-three-seas-latest-news/) - [Understanding Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-depression/) - [Understanding Mental Health Care Plan in Australia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-mental-health-care-plan-in-australia/) - [Understanding the Difference Between a Psychologist and Psychiatrist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-the-difference-between-a-psychologist-and-psychiatrist/) - [Understanding the Role of a Relationship Psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/understanding-the-role-of-a-relationship-psychologist/) - [VCAT Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/vcat-support/) - [What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-is-dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt/) - [What is the difference between Counsellors and Psychologists?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/what-is-the-difference-between-counsellors-and-psychologists/) ### FAQs - [Am I eligible for a Medicare rebate?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2969) - [Are there Private Health Insurance Rebates?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=231) - [Are your services confidential?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=230) - [Can I access the Medicare rebate?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=242) - [Can I claim through Private Health Insurance as well as claiming through Medicare?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2973) - [Do you administer psychological tests for children?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=245) - [Does my private health insurance cover therapy?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2974) - [Does the Three Seas offer bulk billing?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=36384) - [Does The Three Seas offer third-party billings?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=36385) - [Does The Three Seas Psychology Group write reports?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=243) - [Fees, Medicare and Private Health Insurance](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/faq/fees-medicare-and-private-health-insurance/) - [General FAQ’s](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/faq/general-faqs/) - [How can I pay for my sessions?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=233) - [How do I choose the right psychologist for me to see?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=36380) - [How do I get a Mental Health Care Plan?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2967) - [How does confidentiality with a psychologist work?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2977) - [How does Medicare EasyClaim help?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=237) - [How long does each session go for?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2976) - [How long is each session?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=235) - [How many appointments will I/we require?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=232) - [How many sessions can I have if referred under a Mental](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=228) - [How many sessions will I need to commit to?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2975) - [How much is a therapy session at Three Seas?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=36375) - [How much is the rebate, and what is my out of pocket expense?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2970) - [How will I benefit from counselling?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=227) - [Is therapy covered by Medicare?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2968) - [What can I expect from counselling for my child or](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=241) - [What is a Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP), exactly?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=2966) - [What is the cost of a session?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=238) - [What is the Medicare rebate?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=240) - [What is your cancellation policy?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=36383) - [What type of counselling is offered at The Three Seas Psychology Group?](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?post_type=faq&p=239) --- ### [Anxiety Treatment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/anxiety-treatment/) **Published:** January 5, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Do you want to be free from the anxiety trap? Do you want to take control of yourself and your life again? Seeing a professional who is trained to treat anxiety can really help. Medication is also an option if you find your anxiety is taking over life in a debilitating way. ## How to Deal with Anxiety? [![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/depression.png)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/depression.png) Excessive worry about future events, about past interactions, and about the endless number of possible outcomes to current situations activates our body’s natural physiological response to a threat. When we perceive a threat our body naturally prepares to fight or flight. Our body increases the ability to react quicker and with more power by increasing the heart rate, releasing adrenaline and other hormones, increasing our awareness via our senses, along with a number of other intricate physical responses. Evolutionarily, the fight or flight response meant that our primitive ancestors instinctively prepared to fight or flee when they sensed a nearby threat to their survival. We continue to use this fight or flight response today in varying circumstances. In modern times, survival not only refers to our physical survival, but it also includes social survival or survival of the ego. A threat to our social standing, relationships, or personal success can activate the same fight or flight response that our ancestors would have experienced in the face of a sabre-toothed tiger. It is a natural, protective response system. However, this system can become a problem when we activate the fight or flight response based on our thoughts rather than the reality of a situation. ## Anxiety Symptoms And Treatment — ### Treatment for General Anxiety At The Three Seas, we know that the prospect of seeking counselling can be scary for those already struggling with anxiety. You may worry about whether what you say will be kept confidential, how effective therapy actually is, or how long therapy will take. We work with you to assuage these fears. Together we’ll develop a comprehensive treatment plan based on your values and needs. You might not realise it yet, but your thoughts processes may be making you feel more anxious. Likewise, your anxiety causes you to behave in ways that actually make your fear worse. For instance, you might anxiously delay asking your boss for time off, thereby eliminating your chance at a much-needed vacation. Three Seas works with you to determine how your thoughts affect your behaviour and how your behaviour affects your anxiety. Anxiety is not your fault, but you may be surprised to learn how quickly things can get better if you’re willing to make a few small changes. The symptoms and commonly associated mental health issues of anxiety can be debilitating for the sufferer. The effects on the person caring for the sufferer can also be extreme and are often overlooked. Anxiety disorders have a range of symptoms, all of which may vary in severity. These include: - Feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness - Problems sleeping - Shortness of breath - Increased heart rate or heart palpitations - An inability to be still and calm - Cold or sweaty hands or feet - Muscle tension - Vomiting or nausea - Dry mouth and inability to talk - Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet - Difficulty concentrating ### Treatment for Social Anxiety As with other anxiety disorders, social anxiety is often found in connection with other mental health issues such as depression, low self-esteem and alcohol and drug abuse. It is important to seek help if you are experiencing stress and anxiety in social contexts. Social anxiety can be treated using medical (drug) or psychological approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy. Three Seas offers intensive counselling that can help you: - Understand why you are anxious - Dissect choices that may be contributing to your anxiety - Offer you coping mechanisms - Help you master new social skills - Offer you a path out of anxiety Our counsellors work with you to develop a tailored plan that will treat your anxiety in a way that feels safe and comfortable. We offer confidential, judgment-free settings where you can safely explore your emotions. We know it’s not easy to seek counselling when you struggle with social anxiety, but we use the therapeutic relationship as a testing ground for working beyond anxiety. You can get better, but you won’t without treatment. Let The Three Seas do the heavy lifting to pull you out of a life of anxiety and into a life of engaged social commitments. ## Eliminate Anxiety with A More Peaceful Mind Our minds can have a powerful and convincing influence over our ability to judge whether a certain situation, interaction, or impending circumstance is actually a threat to us or not. When our minds trick us into believing a threat is real and present, it can cause an uncomfortable physiological reaction. But what are these threats? What is it that our mind is tricking us into believing? Understanding this is one of the first steps to taking control over your anxiety. Provoking thoughts can come in all shapes and sizes but the central factor in the symptomatology of anxiety is worrisome thoughts that just grow bigger and more real, rather than go away. Some people are threatened by the idea that our significant others will abandon them; leaving them rejected and unloved. For others, constant worry about an imminent catastrophe paralyses their ability to judge the likelihood of such an event occurring. We can become anxious about our health, public speaking, feeling like an imposture, not being good enough, being unlovable, how untrustworthy other people are, rejection, our safety, the safety of others… the list goes on. The common theme here is that we tend to feel trapped by this uncomfortable thought and, no matter how illogical our panic may be, the thought can be so convincingly real that our body has to react. Living with it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable and there are many ways in which we can try to take control over the incessant mind traps we fall into. At The Three Seas Psychology Group, our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) are highly qualified and experienced in helping people to overcome and develop a more peaceful and less reactive mind. ### Call to speak to our Client Connect team who will match you up with a suitable psychologist (03) 9809 1000 \[wpdevart\_like\_box profile\_id=”thethreeseaspsychology” stream=”hide” connections=”hide” width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”small” cover\_photo=”show” locale=”en\_US”\] --- ### [Call Us](https://thethreeseas.com.au/call-us-existing-customer/) **Published:** May 24, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Please call us on 9809 1000 and our Client Connect Team will be able to assist you with making a booking. --- ### [Free Mental Health Resources - Content](https://thethreeseas.com.au/free-mental-health-resources-content/) **Published:** May 4, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ``` ``` ``` ``` ``` ``` # Thank you! You’re all set. We hope you find this Free Mental Health Resource useful! We understand that people may not be in the right space to make changes or adopt these habits, or it may not be possible given your circumstances. Alternatively, If you want to learn how to modify these ideas to suit your lifestyle you can book a session with one of our psychologists. [Download Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/the-three-seas-journal-prompts.zip) --- ### [Client Registration Form & DASS 21](https://thethreeseas.com.au/client-registration-form-dass-21/) **Published:** May 7, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** --- ### [Entitled Partnerships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/entitled-partnerships/) **Published:** September 24, 2019 **Author:** Robert **Content:** [![](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/DCSS-Aus-Logo-Design-2-JPEG.jpg)](https://www.dcssaustralia.org/) --- ### [Carers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/carers/) **Published:** September 30, 2014 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## If you are the carers for a partner with depression, you are doing one of the most important jobs in the world – and the most important job in their world. But it is vitally important when you are going to do this job, that you don’t get so worn down that you can’t do it at all. Depressed people are not themselves. They have a mental problem that will make them act, say and do things that can be very upsetting and hurtful to those around them. They can be volatile, angry and even abusive, when all you are doing is trying to give them support and encouragement. When your relationship is in jeopardy and your love life might have faded, you are most likely also hurting. Your partner isn’t the person you thought you knew. You may be suffering feelings of pain, stress and anger. You may think of leaving and then feel guilt and remorse, even shame. How do you take care of yourself while you care for your loved one? - Firstly, you need to pace yourself. Depression isn’t something that just gets ‘fixed’ overnight. You are going to need stamina to partner your loved one in this race. - Learn all that you can about depression. This will arm you with the knowledge to be able to recognise their behaviours for what they are. - Be honest. Obviously be aware you are dealing with a sensitive person, but don’t be a walk over and explain to them if you feel mistreated. - Language is important so try not to use inflammatory phrases. They aren’t going to ‘snap out of it’, so don’t ask them to. - Keep it real. You can only care so much in a day. If you burn out, you will need the care yourself. - Don’t be obsessive. Maintain other interests and social interactions, and remember to keep living. - Share the load if you can. Are there others who care? There normally are and it’s fine to involve them to improve the situation. Depression is a serious condition and requires professional help. One of the most important roles as carer is for you to help your depressed partner, friend or relative stay the course of their treatment, be that medical (drug) and/or psychological. ### Call today and make an appointment with a [psychologist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) for yourself or your loved one. --- ### [Maintenance In Progress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/maintenance-in-progress/) **Published:** May 31, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** We’re sorry for the inconvenience. Please try again in a little while --- ## Psychologists ### [JENNY KLIMOVSKI](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/jenny-klimovski/) **Published:** July 30, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Jenny is a registered psychologist (AHPRA) with a Masters degree in Counselling Psychology. She has worked within a number of settings, including community and education sectors as well as private practice. She has experience working with children, adolescents and adults with varied presentations, including mood and anxiety issues, relationship concerns, stress and burnout, personality difficulties, emotional regulation and adjustment issues. Jenny has experience in the perinatal field and has supported women and their families across a broad range of concerns, such as fertility issues, pregnancy loss (including miscarriage and stillbirth), unplanned pregnancy options and Postnatal Depression (PND). She has a particular interest in the area of PND and its impact on both women and men. She completed her Masters thesis in men’s experiences of depression following childbirth. This research informed her particular interest in working with men more broadly and understanding how traditional masculinity norms may result in limited recognition and barriers to treatment of mood and anxiety issues in men. Although evolving, she acknowledges that these cultural norms may make it difficult to “open up” and process difficult emotions, so she ensures to create a safe and non-judgmental space for these clients to feel heard and supported. Jenny takes a client-centered approach to counselling which recognises her role as assisting people to gain the personal strengths and strategies required to make positive changes in their lives. Jenny values genuine connection with her clients and tailors therapy to best meet the unique needs of the individual. With this aim, she draws upon a range of evidence-based therapeutic techniques, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Interpersonal Psychotherapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Mindfulness and Strength based approaches. Jenny is currently on maternity leave, returning on 1st September 2026 for Telehealth only appointments. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Couple, Family **Claim Types:** Health Care Card Holders, Medicare **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Other Information:** Court report required **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), Adjustment, Antenatal anxiety/depression, Attachment disorder, Dissociative Disorders, General wellbeing, Infertility, LGBTQIA+, Phobias, Acquired Brain Injury, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Gender Dysphoria, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Couples Counselling, Family Counselling (2+ people), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss, Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Telehealth, Melbourne City, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [ROBERT VAN DE BERG - Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/robert-van-de-berg/) **Published:** January 15, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Robert has an Hon (Melb) and Masters Degree in Psychology. He is a specialist marriage and relationship counsellor with many years of experience. He has developed a unique approach for helping couples work together on their problems. His approach is tailored to your situation and it is built on mutual respect, responsibility, and commitment. Robert has helped many couples on the brink of separation/divorce to improve their understanding of the normal challenges people face in their relationships and to cope better when these challenges arise. Many couples find that they feel closer and more connected and intimate with each as they go through the couples counselling process with Robert. His clients describe him as caring and empathetic as well as patient and committed to helping them. Sometimes, couples decide to end their relationship. The work they do with Robert greatly improves how they cope during the separation process. It also helps them to maintain workable parenting relationships with each other and their families which in turn limits the potential negative impact on their children of ongoing conflict and hurt. Robert also works as a family therapist and helps families in conflict or distress. He helps family members improve their relationship with each other and he helps parents develop effective skills to promote positive behaviours in children and adolescents. Robert also works together with many GP’s helping people manage depression, anxiety, eating disorders, sexual disfunction, and many more mental health problems. Robert works at our Fitzroy North practice. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Gender:** Male **Patient Types:** Adult, Couple, Family **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Other Information:** Court report required **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, Attachment disorder, Dissociative Disorders, General wellbeing, Insomnia, LGBTQIA+, Acquired Brain Injury, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Gender Dysphoria, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Couples Counselling, Family Counselling (2+ people), Schizophrenia, Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss, Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+) --- ### [KATARINA SIMURINA - Wantirna South](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/katarina-simurina/) **Published:** January 11, 2022 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Katarina –Psychologist | Wantirna South Katarina is a skilled and dedicated psychologist based at our Wantirna South clinic, offering compassionate, client-centred mental health support to individuals aged 18 and over. Katarina works with her clients to help them navigate life’s challenges, focusing on fostering resilience, self-confidence, and authentic decision-making. She prides herself on empowering her clients by prioritising their independence, while ensuring that they feel heard, understood, and supported throughout their therapeutic journey. With extensive experience in addressing a wide range of mental health challenges, Katarina works with clients experiencing: - Anxiety disorders and chronic stress - Perfectionism, self-criticism, and overachievement - Low self-esteem and confidence concerns - Interpersonal issues and relationship difficulties - OCD - Disordered eating - Depression and mood-related difficulties - Trauma - Grief and loss Katarina integrates a variety of evidence-based therapies, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy, Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT). Each session is tailored to the unique needs of the client, using emotional attunement to strike a balance between offering guidance and empowering clients to tap into their inner strength and resilience. Katarina’s therapeutic style is grounded in the belief that every person is the expert of their own life. She works collaboratively with her clients to help them develop self-trust, increase their emotional awareness, and build confidence in their ability to manage life’s challenges. Her sessions offer a safe, non-judgemental space to explore difficulties and move toward meaningful, lasting change. For those considering therapy for the first time, Katarina encourages a flexible mindset: “You don’t need to have it all figured out before you start. Therapy is a space to explore—and if the first fit isn’t right, that’s okay too. Katarina looks forward to supporting you on your journey to healing and personal growth. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), Adjustment, General wellbeing, LGBTQIA+, Phobias, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Sexuality, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Telehealth, Knox **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [DR. NARISA VORMWALD - Richmond & Telehealth](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/narisa-vormwald/) **Published:** January 15, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Dr Narisa Vormwald is a registered Clinical Psychologist with a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. She is a Medicare-registered provider and a member of the Australian Psychological Society (APS) and the APS College of Clinical Psychologists. Narisa provides a client-centred, evidence-based approach to help individuals and couples improve their mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. She is known for her warm, compassionate, and collaborative style, creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for clients to explore challenges and work toward meaningful change. ### Areas of Experience Narisa supports clients with a broad range of concerns, including: - Anxiety, depression, and mood disorders - Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) - Eating disorders and body-image concerns - [ASD assessments](https://thethreeseas.com.au/autism-assessments-melbourne/ "Autism (ASD) Assessments Melbourne") and related support - Grief, loss, and adjustment difficulties - Health-related stress and chronic illness - Self-esteem, identity, and perfectionism - Personality and relationship difficulties ### Therapeutic Approaches Narisa is trained in a range of evidence-based therapies, including: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Mindfulness-based interventions. She has a particular professional interest in perfectionism, eating-related issues, and neurodiversity, helping clients understand themselves better and develop practical strategies for emotional regulation and well-being. Narisa offers sessions at The Three Seas Psychology – Richmond and via Telehealth for clients throughout Australia. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Couple **Claim Types:** EAP, Medicare, Private Health **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Other Information:** Court report required **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, LGBTQIA+, Perfectionism, Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Life Coaching, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Couples Counselling, Self-esteem, Self Harm, Stress, Weight loss **Locations:** Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [OLIVIA GRACE - CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/olivia-grace/) **Published:** September 23, 2015 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Olivia is a registered clinical psychologist and holds a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology. Over the past decade, she has worked in both the public mental health sector and private practice providing psychological therapy to adults and adolescents presenting with a broad range of issues including; depression, anxiety disorders, life transition issues, grief and loss, psychotic disorders and drug and alcohol related issues. Olivia has a keen interest and experience in treating trauma reactions, including post-traumatic stress disorder and dissociative disorders. Olivia is trained in a range of evidence based therapeutic approaches including: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), Trauma Model Therapy and insight-oriented approaches. Olivia is a compassionate therapist who aims to equip her clients with the necessary skills and techniques to reduce psychological distress and symptoms, whilst balancing this with a deeper exploration of long-standing patterns or habits, which may drive unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Olivia also endeavours to incorporate positive psychology approaches that aim to enhance client well-being, happiness and satisfaction with life. Olivia practices from our CBD location. Please note that Olivia is not currently offering EMDR to new clients. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** Dissociative Disorders, General wellbeing, Infertility, LGBTQIA+, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Personality Disorder, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Stress, Transition **Locations:** Telehealth, Melbourne City **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [CHRISTINE KERRIGAN - Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/christine-kerrigan/) **Published:** August 7, 2023 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Christine is an attentive, warm, and accepting psychologist. Her approach focuses on developing insight and building self-confidence in her clients through helping them to discover the strengths within themselves. Christine gently and supportively encourages the exploration of challenging feelings, thoughts, relationships, and environments. By creating a safe and authentic space, she helps each person to evolve and adopt ways that support healthy functioning. Christine appreciates that everyone is unique, and she uses a variety of therapeutic techniques to aid them on their journey. She has worked in private practice with children, adolescents, adults, and families. Christine has experience in working with people who experience depression, anxiety, stress, relationship issues, and neurodivergent challenges. Christine is an AHPRA registered general psychologist and works at our Fitzroy North practice. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Family **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, Dissociative Disorders, General wellbeing, Infertility, LGBTQIA+, Perfectionism, Phobias, ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Bipolar, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Gender Dysphoria, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Relationships (Individuals), Family Counselling (2+ people), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [DR QUSAI HUSSAIN - CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/dr-qusai-hussain-cbd/) **Published:** December 9, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Dr. Qusai Hussain – Clinical & Forensic Psychologist The Three Seas Psychology is delighted to welcome Dr. Qusai Hussain, a board-endorsed Clinical and Forensic Psychologist, to our team. With over 20 years of experience in mental healthcare, Dr. Hussain now consults at The Three Seas three days per week, focusing on therapy and treatment for individuals seeking support with mental health challenges, personal development, and workplace stress. Dr. Hussain brings a unique perspective to psychological treatment, having begun his career as a criminal defence lawyer before transitioning into forensic psychology. He holds a Master’s in Forensic Psychology from John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York City and a Doctorate in Psychology from the University of Melbourne. His diverse career has spanned prisons, hospitals, community organisations, private practice, and corporate settings, equipping him with a broad understanding of mental health and human behaviour. ### Areas of Interest & Expertise Dr. Hussain has extensive experience working with high-performing professionals, including lawyers, executives, and other corporate leaders, helping them manage workplace performance stress, prevent burnout, and build resilience. However, he is equally committed to supporting anyone experiencing anxiety, depression, and general mental health concerns, recognising that mental well-being is essential for individuals from all walks of life. At The Three Seas, his key areas of focus include: ✔ Workplace performance stress & burnout ✔ Personal development & resilience building ✔ Managing anxiety, depression, and general mental health concerns Additionally, Dr. Hussain has expertise in treating individuals struggling with problematic sexual behaviours, including pornography addiction, internet addiction, and issues related to child exploitation material. With a compassionate and evidence-based approach, he helps clients address the underlying psychological factors contributing to these behaviours, supporting them in developing healthier coping strategies and making meaningful changes. He is committed to providing a non-judgemental and professional therapeutic space, ensuring clients receive the support they need to navigate complex and sensitive challenges while prioritising mental well-being and personal growth. ### Therapeutic Approach Dr. Hussain adopts a goal-directed, solution-focused approach, blending Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness-Based Interventions. His style is both reflective and directive, helping clients gain self-awareness, confidence, and clarity while working towards meaningful change. ### Professional Insights Dr. Hussain believes that a strong therapeutic relationship is the foundation of successful treatment. He encourages clients to approach therapy with openness, emphasising the importance of trust, collaboration, and clear goal setting. In addition to his clinical work, Dr. Hussain is currently writing a book exploring mental health in entrepreneurship, recognising the unique psychological challenges founders face. He is also the founder of Cyber Clinic, an AI-driven platform designed to improve access to mental health support by matching clients with the right therapist. Dr. Hussain is now accepting new clients at The Three Seas Psychology. Whether you are a high-performing professional managing workplace stress, someone seeking support for anxiety and depression, or dealing with complex behavioural concerns, he is here to help. For more about Dr. Hussain’s background, visit his [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-qusai-hussain/) or learn more about his work at [Psylegal](https://psylegal.com.au/our-team/). ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Patient Types:** Adult, Couple **Claim Types:** DVA, EAP, Medicare, Private Health, TAC, Workcover Claim **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), Adjustment, Attachment disorder, General wellbeing, Perfectionism, Phobias, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Bipolar, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Life Coaching, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Couples Counselling, Self-esteem, Sexual Abuse, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Telehealth, Melbourne City **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [KATE MERCKEL - CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/kate-merckel/) **Published:** May 15, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Kate is a Registered Clinical Psychologist and over eight years’ experience working in private and community settings. She works exclusively with adults across the lifespan at our CBD clinic, including professionals and high-functioning individuals who may appear “fine” on the outside but feel overwhelmed internally. Kate is particularly experienced in working with trauma, PTSD and complex PTSD, as well as anxiety, depression, low self-confidence and self-worth. Her clinical interest in trauma developed organically through long-term therapeutic work with clients, especially in understanding how the brain and body respond to stress and adversity. ## What does Kate help with? Kate frequently supports adults with: - Trauma, PTSD and complex PTSD - Anxiety and chronic worry - Depression and low mood - Self-confidence and self-worth difficulties - The long-term impact of childhood experiences - Emotional regulation challenges - Sleep difficulties - Grief and loss - Personality vulnerabilities and longstanding relational patterns She has a particular interest in helping clients “piece things together” understanding how past experiences, core beliefs, and nervous system responses shape current patterns in work, relationships and self-perception. ## Kate’s Therapeutic Approach Kate describes her style as warm, gentle and encouraging, while also appropriately challenging when needed. Clients often come to Kate wanting not just symptom relief, but deeper understanding. She integrates: - **Schema Therapy:** to explore and shift long-standing patterns and core beliefs - **Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT):** to develop practical strategies and cognitive tools - **Psychoeducation:** helping clients understand how their brain and body respond to stress and trauma Kate believes therapy should feel collaborative. She takes time to understand how each person’s mind works, what they’ve already tried, and what naturally resonates with them. Rather than applying a one-size-fits-all model, she works alongside clients to clarify goals that align with their values and strengths. ## What is Kate like in session? Clients often describe Kate as someone who: - Listens carefully and helps organise scattered or overwhelming thoughts - Creates a calm, grounded space - Encourages reflection without judgement - Offers gentle but meaningful challenge - Helps connect emotional experiences to physiological responses She believes one of the most important aspects of therapy is ensuring the therapeutic fit feels right. While it’s important to give therapy enough time, many people sense early on whether they feel heard and understood, and Kate prioritises building that safety from the outset. ## Who does Kate work with? Kate works with adults across all stages of adulthood. She frequently supports professionals and high-achieving individuals who: - Function well externally but struggle internally - Experience burnout or chronic stress - Carry unresolved trauma - Feel stuck in patterns despite insight Her work often focuses on helping clients better understand themselves, not just “coping better,” but developing clarity about why they respond the way they do. ## What can you expect from working with Kate? Kate hopes clients leave sessions feeling: - Lighter - Clearer in their thinking - More hopeful - Equipped with practical tools - Deeper understanding of what’s happening internally Many clients find that simply understanding how their brain and body respond to stress or trauma can be profoundly relieving. From there, therapy becomes about building new patterns, with greater self-awareness and self-compassion. ## Feeling unsure about starting therapy? Kate understands that booking the first session is often the hardest step. Her advice is simple: If you’re considering therapy, you likely don’t have much to lose by trying. The first appointment is about getting a sense of whether it feels like a good fit. It often becomes easier from there. Choosing someone who feels approachable and safe is a helpful place to start. ### Book an appointment with Kate (CBD) Kate consults from our CBD clinic and works with adults seeking evidence-based, insight-oriented and collaborative therapy. If you’re looking for support with trauma, anxiety, depression or longstanding emotional patterns, Kate offers a thoughtful and compassionate space to begin that work. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adult **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, General wellbeing, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Depression, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Stress, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Telehealth, Melbourne City **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+) --- ### [ANNEKA RICHMOND - Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/anneka-richmond-fitzroy-north/) **Published:** October 14, 2025 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Anneka is a registered psychologist with over three years of experience working across private practice and hospital-based research settings. She brings a warm, collaborative, and values-driven approach to therapy, helping clients navigate challenges such as anxiety, depression, grief and loss, trauma, workplace stress, and perinatal transitions. Her background in community psychology shapes the way she connects with clients, with an emphasis on empowerment, advocacy, inclusion, and diversity. Anneka believes that every person’s story deserves to be met with respect and genuine curiosity, and she creates a safe space where clients feel heard, understood, and supported. Anneka works with clients aged 16 and over and has particular expertise in the parenting and perinatal space, supporting mothers, fathers, and families as they adjust to the early years of parenthood. She also works with clients managing workplace stressors and life transitions, helping them build resilience and rediscover their sense of purpose and balance. Her therapeutic style is gentle yet purposeful, blending Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Narrative Therapy, and mindfulness-based techniques. Anneka is also developing her interest in Schema Therapy, continuing her commitment to ongoing professional growth and evidence-based practice. At the heart of Anneka’s work is a deep belief in meeting clients where they are. She sees therapy as a partnership, a place to explore, challenge, and make sense of experiences in a way that feels safe and empowering. While transformation can sometimes come in small steps rather than big light-bulb moments, Anneka values each shift as meaningful progress toward growth and healing. Above all, Anneka feels it’s a privilege to walk alongside her clients as they find new ways to understand themselves, build on their strengths, and create lasting change in their lives. Anneka practices from our North Fitzroy office. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult **Claim Types:** Medicare, NDIS, Private Health, Workcover Claim **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, Antenatal anxiety/depression, Attachment disorder, General wellbeing, LGBTQIA+, Phobias, ADHD (Adult), Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Bipolar, Career Counselling, Depression, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss, Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [SUE CHANDRA - Richmond & Wantirna South](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/sue-chandra-wantirna-south/) **Published:** February 1, 2023 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Sue is a registered psychologist at The Three Seas Psychology’s Wantirna South practice. With a Master of Professional Psychology and a professional journey that began in engineering, she brings a unique blend of analytical thinking, compassion and lived experience to her clinical work. She was drawn to The Three Seas for its client-centred culture and strong alignment with her own therapeutic values. **Areas of Focus** Sue works with clients across the lifespan and has developed deep experience in several key areas, including: - Women’s mental health across all stages of life, informed by extensive volunteering with PANDA and the Birth Trauma Association, as well as her own lived experience. - Trauma, complex trauma and family violence, supporting individuals, children, families and couples. - Anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder and co-occurring physical and mental health concerns. - Child and adolescent mental health (from age 8+), including neurodiversity support for both young people and their family systems. - Chronic pain and chronic health conditions, helping clients build sustainable coping strategies. - Couples counselling and relationship difficulties. - NDIS clients, including navigating complex needs and supporting functional and emotional wellbeing. Sue works fluently in both English and Tamil, offering accessible care for clients who prefer therapy in their first language. **Therapeutic Approach** Sue’s therapeutic style is warm, collaborative and grounded in respect. She believes every client is the expert in their own life, and she views her role as providing scaffolding, supporting clients as they make sense of their experiences and move toward meaningful change. Her approach integrates several evidence-based modalities, including: - Schema Therapy - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - Trauma-informed practice - Mindfulness - Family Systems Therapy - Strengths-based and person-centred frameworks Sue adapts her work to each individual’s history, current needs, insight, resources and goals. She can be gently directive when needed, while also allowing space for clients to find their voice and confidence. **Working With Children & Families** Sue is passionate about supporting children from age 8 onwards. She loves the authenticity they bring into the room and uses play therapy and art-based techniques to help young clients express themselves in ways that feel safe and natural. Her work with families often involves navigating trauma, neurodiversity, communication difficulties and major emotional or behavioural challenges. She finds this work deeply rewarding and notes the mutual learning that takes place when families discover strengths they may not have recognised in themselves. **Trauma-Informed Support** A significant part of Sue’s practice involves working with people who have experienced trauma—both recent and historical. She is guided by the belief that strength can emerge from struggle, and she prides herself on offering a steady, validating and safe environment where clients can heal at their own pace. **What Clients Can Expect** Clients working with Sue can expect: - A respectful, non-judgemental therapeutic space - A collaborative approach that honours their lived experience - Consideration of their past, present circumstances and future goals - Support that extends to the broader family system when needed - A therapist who genuinely values connection, insight and growth Above all, she hopes clients leave each session feeling less alone, more supported, and aware that there are people in their corner who want something better for them. **A Note for Anyone Considering Therapy** Sue understands that taking the first step into therapy can feel overwhelming. Her advice is simple: Listen to the part of you that wants something better, everything else will follow. Sue is available for appointments at our Richmond and Wantirna South offices. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child **Claim Types:** EAP, Medicare, NDIS, Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, Children & Adolescent Health, General wellbeing, Infertility, Perfectionism, ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Grief/ Loss, Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Parenting, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Telehealth, Knox, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [JAIMEE KRAWITZ - Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/jaimee-krawitz/) **Published:** April 30, 2021 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Jaimee Krawitz Counsellor Focused on Eating Disorders, Young People & Relationship Support Jaimee Krawitz is a counsellor at The Three Seas Psychology, where she supports individuals, adolescents, couples, and families navigating a wide range of mental health challenges. With a strong background in mental-health research through her internship at the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute and a Bachelor in Counselling, Jaimee brings both lived experience and clinical expertise to her therapeutic work. ### Areas of Focus Jaimee works extensively with clients experiencing: - Eating disorders and body-image concerns (including CBT-E and FBT approaches) - Anxiety and depression - Relationship difficulties and Gottman-informed couples counselling - Family therapy - Life transitions, grief, and loss Her passion for eating-disorder treatment is grounded in lived experience, which allows her to offer deep empathy, insight, and a practical, recovery-focused approach for individuals and caregivers. ### Therapeutic Approach Jaimee’s style is warm, reflective, interactive, and grounded in evidence-based modalities. She works collaboratively with clients, ensuring they feel safe, understood, and supported throughout the therapeutic process. She draws on: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) - Gottman Method Couples Therapy - Narrative Therapy - Solution-Focused Therapy - CBT-E for eating disorders - Family-Based Therapy (FBT) for anorexia nervosa - Person-Centred and mindfulness-based approaches Across all age groups and backgrounds, Jaimee tailors her approach to each client’s pace, goals, and unique personal journey. Her clients often describe her as non-judgemental, empathetic, patient, and deeply committed to building a strong therapeutic relationship. ### Working With Clients Jaimee supports a diverse range of clients, including adolescents, adults, couples, and families. She is particularly passionate about helping young people and their caregivers better understand mental health concerns and develop practical, sustainable strategies for wellbeing. Her sessions offer a space of hope, openness, and honest reflection, somewhere clients can speak freely, explore what they’re going through, and begin creating meaningful change in their lives. ### Founder of Hide N Seek Foundation Alongside her clinical work, Jaimee is the founder of [Hide N Seek](https://www.hidenseekfoundation.org/), a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to empowering caregivers of individuals with eating disorders. The foundation focuses on improving mental-health literacy, reducing stigma, and making evidence-based resources accessible to families. If you sign up to [www.hidenseekfoundation.org](http://www.hidenseekfoundation.org/), you will be able to receive the resource book, as well as access to podcasts and interviews featuring Jaimee. Hide N Seek has gained national attention, featuring in podcasts, newsletters, and winning [Shark Tank 2024](https://fb.watch/xdh5hwL4sI/) for its innovative approach to caregiver education. Jaimee has also authored The Language of Seeking Help, endorsed by Professor Harriet Hiscock at the Royal Children’s Hospital. ### What Jaimee Hopes Clients Take Away Above all, Jaimee wants her clients to leave therapy knowing they have a safe, reliable, and non-judgemental space to return to, one where their voice matters, where their experiences are understood, and where hope can grow. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child, Family **Claim Types:** Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, Antenatal anxiety/depression, Attachment disorder, Dissociative Disorders, General wellbeing, LGBTQIA+, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Family Counselling (2+ people), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss **Locations:** Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Early Childhood (4 - 8 yrs), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [MICHELLE (MISHA) KARIPIDIS - CBD, Fitzroy North & Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/michelle-misha-karipidis/) **Published:** April 14, 2022 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** **Misha (she/her) | Psychologist** Life can be complicated, and sometimes even our own thoughts can turn against us. Misha helps people untangle these patterns, rebuild confidence, and find calm that lasts. With master’s degrees in both communications and professional psychology, she brings a practical yet deeply human approach to therapy. Her work is grounded, conversational, and tailored to you. Misha supports adults, adolescents, children and families experiencing anxiety, panic, OCD, depression (including long-term low mood), trauma, addiction, disordered eating, insomnia, relationship difficulties (including couples), and neurodivergence such as Autism and ADHD. She draws on evidence-based modalities including **Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Schema Therapy, Motivational Interviewing** and **Psychodynamic frameworks**. The first few sessions are spent understanding your story and identifying what’s getting in the way of change- together building a plan that fits your goals and pace. Misha provides psychological assessments and written reports in specific circumstances only. She is committed to inclusive and respectful care, and continues to deepen her professional development in sexuality, cultural sensitivity, and ethical digital practice. Regular supervision and ongoing education form a core part of her work to ensure high-quality, ethical care. She consults from Richmond, Fitzroy North, Melbourne CBD and Telehealth. Outside the therapy room, Misha can usually be found reading multiple psychology books at once, at the gym, or searching for the next great Melbourne event or restaurant, usually with an oat latte in hand. [![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child, Couple **Claim Types:** DVA, EAP, Health Care Card Holders, Medicare, NDIS, Private Health, TAC, VOCAT, Workcover Claim **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), Adjustment, Attachment disorder, Children & Adolescent Health, Dissociative Disorders, Eating Disorders & Body Image, General wellbeing, Infertility, LGBTQIA+, Perfectionism, Phobias, Acquired Brain Injury, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Gender Dysphoria, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Couples Counselling, Schizophrenia, Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss, Migrants/Refugees, Behavioural Problems (Child), Toileting (child) **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth, Melbourne City, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Early Childhood (4 - 8 yrs), Infant (0 - 3 years), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [SARAH KING - Richmond & Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/sarah-king-richmond-fitzroy-north/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Sarah (she/her) takes a client-centered approach, providing clients with a safe and non-judgmental space. Sarah believes that each client has the innate ability to lead a healthy and happy life, and that her role is to support clients with a space to be heard and learn skills which can make life a little bit easier. Sarah is an AHPRA-registered provisional psychologist and a member of the Australian Psychology Society (APS), with a master’s degree in professional psychology. Sarah has experience working with clients of all ages and different backgrounds. She holds areas of interest in relationship challenges, anxiety, depression, periods of change/transition, trauma, chronic illness, as well as cognitive assessment. Sarah supports her clients through evidence-based practices, drawing from modalities including cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), mindfulness and meditation. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup)[](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child **Claim Types:** Health Care Card Holders, NDIS **Areas of Interest:** Antenatal anxiety/depression, General wellbeing, Infertility, LGBTQIA+, Perfectionism, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Career Counselling, Depression, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Sexuality, Sleep, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [ARTI RAGHUVANSHI - Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/arti-raghuvanshi/) **Published:** April 7, 2017 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Arti Raghuvanshi is a registered psychologist and an associate member with Australian Psychological Society. She has a Bachelor (Honours) degree in Psychology and Masters in Clinical Psychology. She has been a medalist and a rank holder in her universities. Arti has worked in multiple settings for 12 years including hospital, private practice and schools. She has had extensive experience working with a vast age group of clients presenting with various issues like depression, anxiety, relationship issues, life transitions, personality difficulties. Arti also works immensely with parents and children and addressed issues like ADHD, Learning Difficulties, Aspergers, Autism, Oppositional Defiant Behaviour. She conducts psychological screening for personality, Autism screening and ADHD and cognitive assessment. Her approach to therapy is eclectic and flexible which primarily depends on the clients needs and goals. She uses evidence based practice like Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Emotion Focused Therapies and Psychotherapy. Arti strongly believes that counselling is a collaborative approach which aims for the clients to gain insight and together help achieve their goals. Arti practices from our Richmond location. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Perfectionism, Phobias, ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Bipolar, Depression, Grief/ Loss, Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Postnatal Depression, Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Stress, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Early Childhood (4 - 8 yrs), Infant (0 - 3 years), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [REEVA ASHTON - Wantirna South](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/reeva-ashton/) **Published:** September 13, 2021 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Reeva is a registered general psychologist and a member of the Australian Association of Psychologists. Reeva has worked in a variety of settings including the not-for-profit sector and within the community. She enjoys working with clients across the lifespan, including children, adolescents, and adults. Reeva has supported clients presenting with a broad range of difficulties including depression, anxiety, stress, autism, and ADHD. She has supported clients working through interpersonal relationship problems, developing social skills, and adapting to life transitions. Reeva has a strong interest in working with clients experiencing low mood and anxiety-related concerns including but not limited to major depressive disorder, generalised anxiety disorder, illness anxiety disorder, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, separation anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. She approaches her clients with a genuine, empathetic, and non-judgemental demeanour. A collaborative client-centred approach to therapy is Reeva’s aim, in order to promote the long-term outcomes for her clients. Reeva is passionate about developing her clients’ skills with strategies to assist in the reduction of psychological distress. In addition, she supports a client to build self-awareness and understanding which allows them to challenge limiting beliefs or patterns in thinking, to ultimately improve their quality of life. Reeva draws on various evidence-based therapeutic modalities within her practice, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness. Her approach is individualised to the client’s specific needs and goals, in order to provide a collaborative space. Reeva practices from our Wantirna South office. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child **Claim Types:** Medicare, NDIS, Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, Antenatal anxiety/depression, General wellbeing, LGBTQIA+, Perfectionism, Phobias, ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Body Dysmorphia, Depression, Gender Dysphoria, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Postnatal Depression, Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexuality, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss **Locations:** Telehealth, Knox **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [PAUL MALONE - Telehealth Only](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/paul-malone/) **Published:** February 13, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Paul has a four year undergraduate degree in psychology, plus a masters degree where he researched self-esteem and its impact on vocational success. After teaching psychology at university level for 20 years, he became a consultant psychologist and worked for clients across the private and public sectors, including within the AFL. As a result of developing an interest and expertise in conflict resolution, he now practises in relationship counselling, with a focus on helping clients to identify and reduce the barriers that impede relationship success. He also helps clients deal with life and work stress. Clients find that Paul has excellent listening skills, high levels of sensitivity and empathy, and the consistent ability to develop high trust relationships. His focus in working with clients is wherever possible to help them find practical solutions suitable to their problems or concerns. Paul provides appointments via Telehealth. He offers **low cost appointments**. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Male **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Couple, Family **Claim Types:** EAP, Health Care Card Holders, Medicare, NDIS, Private Health **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** General wellbeing, Perfectionism, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Career Counselling, Depression, Relationships (Individuals), Couples Counselling, Self-esteem **Locations:** Telehealth **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [NICK BONNER - Fitzroy North & Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/nick-bonner/) **Published:** July 4, 2017 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Nick aims to establish a warm, safe, and genuine therapeutic relationship at the onset of therapy. He is a registered Psychologist with a BA in Psychology (Hons), a Masters degree in Counselling Psychology, and is a member of the Australian Psychological Society. Nick adopts a tailored approach to therapy focused upon understanding the unique treatment needs of each client. He values regular client collaboration and feedback, and always endeavours to align therapy to client preferences. Nick aims to assist people to better understand their distress and to foster more helpful and compassionate interpretations of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. He is change-focused, and will work to both support and challenge clients to meet their own personal goals for therapy. Nick’s interests include trauma in childhood, anxiety and depression, anger management, relationship disputes, life transition issues, and vocational / career counselling. Nick also has experience in child and adolescent mental health from his work with families in the community. He utilises various creative interventions within a cognitive-behavioural framework to assist children and adolescents to understand their emotions, process past experiences, and to develop new coping and problem solving skills. Nick always endeavours to work closely with parents to help them support child or adolescent mental health. Nick utilises various evidence-based therapeutic approaches in his work, including CBT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Schema Therapy, Directive Play Therapy (children), Mindfulness, and Motivational Interviewing. Nick practices from our Fitzroy North and Richmond locations. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Male **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult **Claim Types:** EAP, Medicare, Private Health **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), General wellbeing, Perfectionism, Phobias, Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexuality, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [SAMANTHA MORDECH - Fitzroy North & Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/samantha-mordech/) **Published:** February 13, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Meet Samantha Mordeck – Psychologist at The Three Seas Samantha is a Melbourne psychologist and supervisor who brings warmth, creativity, and depth to her work with clients. With over a decade of diverse experience, she helps adults navigate life transitions, trauma, anxiety, relationship issues, and identity challenges. Samantha began her career in organisational psychology, working with leadership and workplace culture. While the experience gave her valuable insights into people and organisations, she realised her passion lay more broadly in social impact. This led her to complete a Master’s in Community Psychology, where she focused on collective trauma, cultural diversity, and humanitarian systems. From supporting communities and survivors of natural disasters to working with NGOs, social enterprises and emergency services, Samantha experienced first-hand that inner healing is essential for outer change. Since joining The Three Seas Psychology in 2018, Samantha has focused on supporting individuals through the complexities of their lives and helping them create meaningful change, inside and out. Therapeutic Approach Samantha describes herself as an integrative psychologist in Melbourne, drawing from a range of evidence-based and trauma-informed therapies to suit each client’s unique needs. Her practice supports adults seeking help for anxiety, trauma, relationship challenges and periods of transition, and is influenced by: - Attachment theory – exploring how early experiences shape current relationships - Interpersonal neurobiology – understanding how our brain and bodies interact in healing - Trauma therapy and integration methods - Somatic therapy – incorporating the body in processing stress, distress and trauma, including somatic approaches used in trauma-informed therapy - Parts work – gently working with the different “parts” of ourselves, influenced by schema, gestalt and IFS approaches Mindfulness-based therapies and contemplative practices Samantha’s style is warm, responsive and person-centred. She believes therapy is not about following a rigid formula but about creating an optimal space for clients to reflect, reconnect, and feel supported, whether they are seeking therapy for anxiety, processing trauma, or navigating complex life and relationship changes. Samantha works with adults aged 25 and over. Many of her clients identify as high-functioning people who may appear successful or capable on the outside, yet struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, or identity questions on the inside. Some may also notice that past experiences are now intruding into the present. She has a special interest in supporting women through expected or unexpected life transitions, such as motherhood, career change, and grief and loss. If you’re looking for a psychologist in Melbourne who can help you build self-understanding, process trauma, and navigate change with compassion, Samantha offers a thoughtful and tailored approach. What Clients Can Expect - Samantha’s goal is for every client to leave sessions feeling: - Understood – truly seen and heard - More confident in trusting themselves and others - Better equipped to navigate life and relationships - Clearer about their past, present and future For those feeling hesitant about starting therapy, Samantha encourages beginning gently, asking psychologists questions, and trusting your instincts. She believes the right therapeutic relationship should feel respectful and encouraging. She supports clients to make choices that honour their readiness and pace. Samantha works at our Fitzroy North and Richmond locations. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adult **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** LGBTQIA+, Perfectionism, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Bipolar, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Life Coaching, Personality Disorder, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (21+) --- ### [BARBARA ZAVROS - CBD & Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/barbara-zavros/) **Published:** January 29, 2025 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** ## Compassionate Support for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, Grief and Relationship Challenges. Barbara (she/her) is a registered provisional psychologist with a Master of Professional Psychology from The University of Melbourne and membership in the Australian Association of Psychologists. Barbara provides a warm, non-judgmental space where clients feel heard, valued, and supported in their personal growth. Barbara works with clients experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, life transitions, emotional regulation difficulties, and relationship challenges. Barbara is also able to support individuals in navigating performance-related anxiety, public speaking fears, and high-pressure situations. Barbara conducts cognitive assessments, including the WISC-V, to support children and adolescents with learning, behavioural, or developmental concerns. Therapeutic Approach & Evidence-Based Techniques Barbara’s therapy sessions are client-centered and collaborative, ensuring that each individual’s unique needs and goals shape the treatment process. She integrates several evidence-based approaches, including: - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Addressing unhelpful thought patterns and developing practical coping strategies. - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Encouraging psychological flexibility and mindfulness-based skills. - Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy – Exploring and integrating different aspects of self to enhance emotional well-being. - Schema Therapy – Identifying and transforming deeply rooted patterns and beliefs (schemas) developed early in life that can impact relationships, self-esteem, and emotional health. - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – Supporting emotional regulation and distress tolerance. Above all, Barbara prioritises trust, safety, and empathy in her work, creating a space where clients can build self-awareness, resilience, and confidence. Who Barbara Works With Barbara works with clients across the lifespan, providing tailored support to help them overcome challenges and improve their well-being. Whether clients are struggling with everyday stress, mental health concerns, or performance-related pressures, Barbara helps them uncover their strengths and live with greater authenticity. Why Work With Barbara? Many people feel hesitant about starting therapy, but Barbara encourages those considering it to take that first step. Through compassionate guidance, she helps clients: - Gain deeper self-understanding and self-acceptance. - Develop practical strategies for managing anxiety, depression, and life stressors. - Overcome public speaking and performance anxiety to perform at their best. - Express themselves with confidence and clarity in their personal and professional lives. Barbara is based at The Three Seas Psychology Fitzroy North and CBD clinics and welcomes new clients seeking support in a safe, professional, and understanding environment. ![Book Now Correct](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-27-2025-at-07_32_07-PM-248x143.png) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child **Claim Types:** Health Care Card Holders, NDIS **Areas of Interest:** Adjustment, Antenatal anxiety/depression, General wellbeing, LGBTQIA+, Perfectionism, Phobias, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Career Counselling, Depression, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Life Coaching, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss, Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth, Melbourne City **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Early Childhood (4 - 8 yrs), Infant (0 - 3 years), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [KERRY SHORT - Fitzroy North & Wantirna South](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/kerry-short/) **Published:** January 15, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Kerry is a registered psychologist with a Masters degree in Psychology. She is a member of the Australian Psychological Society (APS) and Chairs the Outer Eastern Melbourne Branch for the APS. Registered with Medicare and private health insurers, Kerry works primarily with adults. Visiting a psychologist is a major step and Kerry respects the courage and resolve that this decision requires. So, her main aim when working with clients is to create a safe and supportive environment where issues and difficulties can be explored. By working with each person’s unique story and experiences, Kerry aims to foster personal growth and meaning through greater insights, new perspectives and strategies for change. Her approach is humanistic, solution focused when required and at all times tailored to the needs of each individual. With a strong background in community mental health and organisational psychology, Kerry has experience in a range of psychological disorders as well as workplace issues, including stress, bullying and job/role dissatisfaction. Kerry also has experience in working with clients with eating disorders and has worked with a range of presentations. Part of this work is helping clients re-set their relationship with food, eating and their bodies, so they can move forward in their lives with more self-acceptance, less struggle and a greater sense of agency. Neurodivergence is also a keen interest for Kerry, in particular those adults experiencing ADHD. Other key areas of therapeutic expertise include depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol issues, gambling addiction, self-esteem and shame issues, assertiveness and boundary setting, anger management, relationship difficulties, parenting and family issues and grief and loss. Another key interest is working with women as they navigate the changes experienced as part of menopause. This can be a time of major transition and adjustment and, with help, it is possible for women to create a new positive way of being in the world as part of this often challenging process. Kerry works in a range of therapeutic modalities, including CBT, ACT and Interpersonal Therapy, and is particularly interested in the potential for change through the use of Schema Therapy and emotion-focused techniques. As a member of the APS, she is a part of the *ADHD Interest Group*, the *Performing Arts and Entertainment Industry and Psychology Interest Group* and the *Psychology and Substance Use Interest Group*. Clients would describe Kerry as warm, insightful and engaging with an open, friendly and accepting manner. Kerry works at our North Fitzroy and Wantirna South practices. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adult **Claim Types:** DVA, EAP, Medicare, Private Health, TAC, Workcover Claim **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** Perfectionism, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Bipolar, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Parenting, Personality Disorder, Pregnancy Support, Psychosis, Relationships (Individuals), Schizophrenia, Self-esteem, Self Harm, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth, Knox **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+) --- ### [CHLOE CHAMBERLIN - Richmond & Wantirna South](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/chloe-chamberlin-northcote/) **Published:** January 20, 2023 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Chloe is a highly skilled and compassionate psychologist, focusing on supporting individuals and couples through a wide range of challenges. As a registered General Psychologist (AHPRA) and a member of the Australian Psychological Society (APS), Chloe provides expert psychological care tailored to each client’s needs. With extensive experience across various therapeutic modalities, Chloe works with anxiety, depression, ADHD, relationship issues, PTSD, cognitive assessments and screenings, and self-esteem concerns. She has a particular passion for working in neurodivergent (or “spicy”) spaces and supporting women’s health. Chloe takes an empathetic, open, and collaborative approach, drawing from evidence-based therapies to create a safe and supportive space where clients of all backgrounds and identities feel understood. She is dedicated to helping individuals build essential skills and resources to enhance their well-being beyond therapy. Chloe is available for psychology services at our Richmond and Wantirna South clinics. If you’re looking for a compassionate and experienced psychologist in Richmond or Wantirna South, contact us today to book an appointment. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult, Child **Claim Types:** Medicare, Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), Adjustment, General wellbeing, LGBTQIA+, Phobias, ADHD (child), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Eating Disorder, Gender Dysphoria, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss **Locations:** Telehealth, Knox, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs), Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs) --- ### [BELINDA FREAKE - Not Offering Appointments](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/belinda-freake/) **Published:** January 14, 2015 **Author:** Robert **Content:** Belinda is a board registered Clinical psychologist with a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology. She uses a mixed style of therapy to meet the individual needs of her clients. She bases her work within a psychodynamic framework which stresses the importance of understanding that an individual is unique, that each person’s past shapes the present, and a person’s thoughts, feelings and experiences are not always within their awareness but may still influence their thoughts and actions. She also uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), interpersonal, systemic approaches, mindfulness and schema based approaches. Belinda has experience providing treatment for adjustment disorders, anger, depression, anxiety, eating disorders and grief and loss. In addition she has lots of experience working within the field of perinatal and infant mental health including antenatal/postnatal depression, anxiety and psychosis, and improving the parent-infant relationship. Belinda’s empathetic, caring yet challenging and engaging style has been particularly successful with clients who have a history of trauma including sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, bullying, natural disasters, and living in war-torn countries. Belinda works at our Richmond location. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult **Claim Types:** Medicare, NDIS, Private Health, TAC, VOCAT, Workcover Claim **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** Antenatal anxiety/depression, Attachment disorder, General wellbeing, Infertility, LGBTQIA+, Phobias, Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Postnatal Depression, Pregnancy Support, Psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Schizophrenia, Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (21+) --- ### [WILLIAM SOO - CBD & Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/william/) **Published:** September 13, 2016 **Author:** Robert **Content:** ## **\*Please note that our psychiatrist is currently not accepting new clients.** William is a Consultant Psychiatrist with The Three Seas Psychology Group. He works with clients and their general practitioners towards achieving mental well-being through a comprehensive and holistic treatment approach. William is available to provide psychiatric assessments for clients aged 21-65 years old. He is also able to provide one-time comprehensive assessments and management plans for general practitioners. William practices from our CBD and Richmond locations. **Gender:** Male **Patient Types:** Adult **Claim Types:** Medicare **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** Psychiatry **Locations:** Melbourne City, Richmond --- ### [ALEX FLUKER-SMITH - Telehealth Only](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/alex-fluker-smith/) **Published:** May 15, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Alex is a registered Psychologist who has completed a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology in Canada and a Master’s degree in Forensic Psychology in Australia. Alex has experience working in Canada and Australia across a variety of settings. Her training in Forensic Psychology has provided her with skills and experience in working with anger issues, interpersonal violence, and trauma work with victims of crime. In addition, Alex has extensive experience working with anxiety, phobias, depression, trauma, relationship/interpersonal difficulties, transition/adjustment, workplace stress and Employee Assistance Programs. Alex’s approach is collaborative, empathic, non-judgemental and open-minded. She assists clients according to their individual needs and draws upon several therapeutic approaches including: Emotion-Focused Therapy, Client-Centered Therapy, Schema Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Alex offers Telehealth appointments. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adult **Claim Types:** EAP, Medicare, Private Health, VOCAT **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** LGBTQIA+, Phobias, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Bipolar, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Grief/ Loss, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Personality Disorder, Psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Schizophrenia, Self-esteem, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Telehealth **Client Age Groups:** Adult (21+) --- ### [JOHANNA HART - Fitzroy North & Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/johanna-hart/) **Published:** June 4, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Warm, empathic, insightful and strong, Johanna’s approach helps people to develop a deeper and more authentic understanding of themselves by exploring their present difficulties, no matter how ‘crazy’, intense, painful, or difficult they may seem. Through warm containment, careful listening, and gentle challenge, Johanna supports people to slowly and safely uncover the mechanisms which support healthy functioning and more rewarding relationships with self and others. Johanna is a registered psychologist with a Master of psychology (clinical), and Graduate diploma in Christian counselling studies. Her mature and compassionate nature enables her to work across the lifespan with children and parents, adults and the elderly. Over the past 15 years of counselling people and completing her own training, Johanna has worked intensively with trauma, abuse, schizophrenia, personality difficulties, eating disorders, grief and loss, treatment resistant anxiety and depressive disorders, and a variety of relationship difficulties. Johanna generally works over the medium to long term with people, supporting them to relate with themselves and others in more authentic and genuine ways. Johanna works at our Fitzroy North and Richmond locations. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Gender:** Female **Patient Types:** Adult, Family **Claim Types:** Medicare, NDIS, Private Health, VOCAT **Filters:** Claim Type, Gender, Other Information, Patient Type, Presenting Issue **Areas of Interest:** General wellbeing, LGBTQIA+, Phobias, Addiction (Alcohol), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Personality Disorder, Psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Couples Counselling, Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Sleep, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+) --- ### [MATT WATSON - Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/matt-watson-richmond/) **Published:** February 26, 2024 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Matt is a provisional Counsellor from Deakin University. His interest is in working with clients of all ages on a range of concerns including anxiety, depression, relationships, trauma and stress, among others. Matt brings a client-centred approach to his practice, where sessions are tailored towards the client’s needs and wants. He prioritises building the therapeutic relationship by creating a non-judgemental and empathetic environment. In his practice, Matt draws upon a variety of therapeutic approaches including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Solution-focused Therapy, as well as various mindfulness techniques. Matt practices from our Richmond location. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adult **Claim Types:** Health Care Card Holders **Areas of Interest:** General wellbeing, Phobias, Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Depression, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Personality Disorder, Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Sports, Stress, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience) **Locations:** Telehealth, Richmond **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+) --- ### [GEMMA BROWN - Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/gemma-brown-northcote/) **Published:** February 3, 2023 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Gemma is a registered Psychologist, MProfPsych, GradDipPsych, BA-Psych (Hons) and a member of the Australian Psychological Society (APS). Gemma has worked in private and community mental health settings with adults and adolescents and has gained experience working with addiction, depression, psychosis, and anxiety disorders. Gemma is an experienced Zen meditation practitioner and is interested in applying mindfulness to psychological practice to cultivate self-compassion and present-moment awareness. Gemma seeks to explore creative, adaptive ways to analyse psychological issues and to help individuals build a deeper understanding of themselves, find their voice and develop personal agency in resolving personal issues. Gemma’s approach is strengths-based/client-centred and brings a warm, conscientious style to the therapeutic space. She is interested in collaborating alongside her clients using a range of evidence-based modalities, such as cognitive behaviour therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, motivational interviewing, and mindfulness-based practices. Gemma has a special interest in depression, low self-esteem, grief and loss, adjustment to life events, relationship issues, anxiety, and addiction. Gemma also has a special interest in seeking joy in difficult times. Gemma works at our Fitzroy North office. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult **Claim Types:** DVA, Medicare, NDIS, Private Health **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), Adjustment, General wellbeing, Phobias, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Parenting, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Self Harm, Sleep, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Fitzroy North, Telehealth **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ### [GABRIEL RAE - Wantirna South](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/gabriel-rae/) **Published:** February 16, 2022 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** Gabriel is an AHPRA registered provisional psychologist and a member of the Australian Psychological Society (APS). He has a Bachelors and Honours degree in Psychology from Monash University. Gabriel has lived experience of disability and is interested to help others who face similar problems. Another area of particular concern is the prevalence in our society of addiction. He wishes to assist people facing this particular issue. He sees anxiety as a major and complex issue for so many of us and, having also experienced this himself, is keen to assist with some tools to help manage anxiety’s impact. Recently, Gabriel has been part of a research team at the Turner Institute for Brain and Mental Health working on a game based program designed to improve attention in children. He has also been active across a range of programs at the Royal Children’s Hospital’s MCRI division spanning young adult psychosocial outcomes of children with traumatic brain injury and risk factors for poor outcomes to the effects of Victoria’s COVID lockdowns on school aged children with learning difficulties. Gabriel hopes that through shared time together, he can help you find personally suitable approaches to the difficult paths of life. Gabriel works at our Wantirna South office. [![Book Now](https://thethreeseas.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/5a8302f3abc3d121aba71220.png)](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) **Patient Types:** Adolescent, Adult **Claim Types:** Health Care Card Holders, NDIS **Areas of Interest:** Addiction (Gaming / Computer), Adjustment, Attachment disorder, Eating Disorders & Body Image, General wellbeing, Phobias, Addiction (Alcohol), Addiction (Drugs), Addiction (Gambling), Addiction (Porn), Addiction (Sex), ADHD (Adult), Anger, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Assertiveness, Autism/ Aspegers, Body Dysmorphia, Career Counselling, Depression, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorder, Grief/ Loss, Health (general), Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc), Life Coaching, Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), Relationships (Individuals), Self-esteem, Sexual Abuse, Sports, Stress, Transition, Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience), Weight loss, Migrants/Refugees **Locations:** Telehealth, Knox **Client Age Groups:** Adult (18+), Adult (21+), Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs) --- ## Jobs ### [General and Clinical Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/jobs/general-and-clinical-psychologists/) **Published:** November 7, 2018 **Author:** Kimberly **Content:** *The Three Seas Group is recruiting psychologists (Clinical and General) seeking to further develop their career in private practice.* ***Contract positions available in our Richmond, CBD, Wantirna South, Northcote practice.*** The Three Seas Group is a well established private practice of Psychologists, Psychiatrists and Counsellors. We provide therapy to clients across the lifespan. Our well designed and integrated administrative processes support our practitioners to deliver client centred care and to maintain a strong therapeutic focus. The positions offer a strong referral base, with a reliable caseload of clients, full-time administrative support, a collegiate and experienced group of peers, supervision and peer review, subsidised professional development, and attractive, spacious and acoustically managed consulting rooms. The positions will suit experienced Psychologists who value a supportive, efficient, and well organised environment. The roles available are between 2 to 5 days a week, with flexibility in work hours, days, and location. Availability after hours and on Saturdays is valued. Psychologists with experience working with children, couples, and/or adults in a private practice setting will be highly regarded in the selection process as will Psychologists with specific areas of interest. Early career Psychologists with a passion for private practice work are also encouraged to apply. Core competencies (or a willingness to develop); - An individual therapeutic style or area(s) of interest - Experience engaging with clients with a broad range of presenting issues or in a specialised area of practice (for example, couples, children, trauma) - Ability to manage a caseload with a variety of presenting difficulties - Dedication to delivering high quality evidence-based services - Experience with ethical, legal, and professional issues in a private practice setting - Commitment to ongoing professional development Your skills will be rewarded with; - Attractive remuneration, commensurate with experience, skills and qualifications - An established reliable referral base and support to develop relationships with key referrers - Highly supportive administration team and a friendly and engaging multidisciplinary team, including support in booking, scheduling, and billing - Ongoing collegial support and challenging subsidised professional development opportunities - Opportunity for career progression within the organisation, through stepped career pathways Essential - Full registration as a General or Clinical Psychologist with AHPRA - Eligible for registration as a Medicare provider - Professional Indemnity Insurance - Australian Business Number (ABN) - Willingness to work outside business hours or Saturdays (note: these hours are remunerated in excess of ordinary sessional rates) *Please note, we are able to provide support for psychologists completing their clinical endorsement and are open to applications from registrars.* If you are interested in joining our team please send through a brief cover letter outlining your experience, interest in private practice, your preference for location, and your CV to careers@thethreeseas.com.au. If you would like to discuss the above positions in more detail please contact Robert van de Berg (9809 1000). --- ## FAQs ### [Fees, Medicare and Private Health Insurance](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/faq/fees-medicare-and-private-health-insurance/) **Published:** January 19, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## FAQ’s about Fees, Medicare and Private Health Insurance - ## How much is a therapy session at Three Seas? ## Our fees are as follows: - **General Psychologists**: - Individual appointments: $240 – $295 ($143.35 – $198.35 out of pocket) - Couples / family appointments: $265 – $320 - **Clinical Psychologists**: - Individual appointments: $285 – $340 ($143.35 – $198.35 out of pocket) - Couples / family appointments: $310 – $365 Please note: A few psychologists do not offer rebates for couples or family sessions. - **Counsellors**: - Individual appointments: $135 – $205 - Couples appointments: $160 – $230 (lowest couples rate not currently available) - **Provisional Psychologists**: - Individual appointments: $85 – $170 - Couples appointments: $110 – $195 (lowest couples rate not currently available) Some psychologists may offer discounts on the above fees, typically around 30%. If you have a health care or pension card, you may be eligible for a further discounted rate. - ## Is therapy covered by Medicare? Yes and no. Medicare will offer a rebate for 10 sessions per calendar year (January through to December) with a Mental Health Care Plan. Once you receive a Mental Health Care Plan you will be eligible for a Medicare rebate of $141.85 for a clinical psychologist and $96.65 for a general registered psychologist. - ## Does my private health insurance cover therapy? If you have private health insurance, you may be covered for psychological services. More than 40 health funds will offer a rebate for psychological services; however, this will be dependent on the type of cover you have. Please contact your health fund to confirm if you are unsure of your cover. - ## Am I eligible for a Medicare rebate? The Medicare rebate is dependent on receiving a Mental Health Care plan. If you want to be eligible for the Medicare rebate you will need to make an appointment with your GP who will assess your eligibility for a Mental Health Care plan. You can also make an appointment to get a MHCP from a psychiatrist or a paediatrician. Please note that if you don’t need a Medicare rebate or a Mental Health Care Plan, you can book directly with The Three Seas & do not need a referral. - ## How much do psychological tests / assessments cost? The Three Seas offer comprehensive cognitive assessments for children & adolescents, specifically the WISC-V & WPPSI-IV (read more about these [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/cognitive-assessments/)). The total fee for this assessment is $1000. This includes the fee for three sessions, including assessment & report. - ## Does the Three Seas offer bulk billing? The Three Seas **will** be accepting a limited number of new bulk billing clients. See Psychologists: [Stephanie Nemaric](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/stephanie-nemaric-cbd/) or [Paul Malone](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologist/paul-malone/). - ## Does The Three Seas offer third-party billings? The Three Seas accepts NDIS (self- or plan-managed), TAC, Worksafe, VOCAT and DVA clients. We also have EAP agreements in place for several Melbourne companies. Please note that a gap payment may be required for NDIS, Worksafe and VOCAT clients. - ### What is your cancellation policy? Your appointment time is reserved for you. If for some reason you need to cancel or postpone your appointment, we require at least 48 hours (to the hour) notice. Appointments cancelled or rescheduled less than 24 – 48 hours will incur 50% of the appointment fee. Appointments cancelled or rescheduled within less than 24 hours will incur 100% of the appointment fee. An appointment reminder is sent out via text, 72 hours prior to your appointment. This is a courtesy text message, and you should not solely rely on this due to it being sent through an automatic system. All appointment changes are to be made via phone or email. A voicemail can be left on our system after hours or over the weekend. - ### How do I book? Bookings can be made online through our booking portal here. Alternatively, you can call the client connect team on 03 9809 1000 or pop us an [e-mail](https://thethreeseas.com.au/contact-us/) by filing in the form. You can also follow us on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/TheThreeSeasPsychology/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/thethreeseaspsychology/). --- ### [General FAQ's](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/faq/general-faqs/) **Published:** January 19, 2023 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ### General FAQ’s related to Therapy - #### How many sessions will I need to commit to? Every person has a unique therapeutic journey. The number of sessions is largely dependent on the individual’s needs, the nature of why they are seeking therapy & what they ultimately want to achieve through therapy. Some people require only six (or fewer) sessions while others may require significantly more. This matter will be discussed with your psychologist after the first session & will be tailored to the unique needs of the individual. The Three Seas offers short-, mid- and long-term therapy sessions; however, our focus is less on how long the process will take and rather on ensuring that our clients effectively resolve their issues and achieve their desired outcomes. - #### How do I choose the right psychologist for me to see? Our highly experienced & trained Client Connect Team has thorough knowledge of our Melbourne psychologists and counsellors’ strengths and therapeutic approaches. They have been trained to make sure that you are paired with a psychologist or couples counsellor that suits your needs. Finding the right psychologist for you can be tricky. All psychologists bring their own methods, values, and personality to their care, so it’s important to find one that you click with. Similarly, it’s important that the therapist you choose is equipped with the skills to help you. Treatment approaches vary widely, from cognitive behavioural therapy to acceptance and commitment therapy. If the first psychologist you see doesn’t feel right, don’t give up! Trial and error will help you to find a psychologist that allows you to feel seen and heard. Our reception team is happy to discuss the best therapist options for you. You can always provide your psychologist with honest feedback and feel able to ask them about their credentials and registration. - #### Locations & Opening Hours The Three Seas is conveniently located in four locations across Melbourne. We have practices in the CBD, Richmond, Fitzroy North & Wantirna South. We additionally offer telehealth counselling which caters to patients across Australia and globally. Addresses for each practice can be found [here](https://thethreeseas.com.au/). Opening Client Connect team hours are Mon – Fri: 8am – 8pm and Sat: 8:30am – 4:30pm Our [psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/psychologists/) offer appointments from 8am-9pm Monday to Friday and 9am-5pm on a Saturday. - How are we minimising COVID risks for our clients and team? The Three Seas Group takes its responsibility seriously to ensure the health and safety of its staff and clients. Our spaces are being cleaned regularly and frequently touched surfaces such as door handles will be cleaned with disinfectant wipes. We will provide hand sanitiser for you to use, although it’s important to note that thorough and frequent handwashing is the most effective way to reduce the spread of COVID-19. If your therapist is unwell or has been in contact with someone who is unwell, even if they’re not sure if the symptoms relate to COVID-19, they will move their sessions to Telehealth and will discontinue face to face sessions until they have confirmation of a clear COVID-19 test. - #### How does the Client Connect team ascertain which psychologist will be appropriate? Our highly experienced & trained Client Connect Team has thorough knowledge of our Melbourne psychologists and counsellors’ strengths and therapeutic approaches. They have been trained to make sure that you are paired with a psychologist or couples counsellor that suits your needs. In addition to this, they will assess the availability of the psychologists to ensure that you get an appointment as soon as possible in line with your needs & availability. - #### How does confidentiality with a psychologist work? All matters discussed with the Psychologist remain absolutely private and confidential. Information will remain confidential to all parties unless you give written consent to release information. --- ## Locations ### [Psychology Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-richmond/) **Published:** May 13, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Psychologists in Richmond, Victoria Our Richmond clinic is located in a beautiful heritage building on Bridge Road, directly opposite a tram stop and surrounded by cafes and shops. We offer a range of services including ASD and ADHD assessments, EMDR, couples therapy, child psychology, and low-cost services with provisional psychologists. ## About Our Richmond Clinic [Book Your Appointment Now](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) 637–639 Bridge Rd Richmond VIC 3121 Australia ## Psychology Services Available - **Adult ASD assessments** – Comprehensive diagnostic support. - **Adult ADHD assessments** – Evidence-based assessment and strategies. - **WISC / WPPSI assessments** – Cognitive assessments for children. - **Child psychology** – Emotional and developmental support for children and teens. - **Couples therapy** – Improve communication and intimacy. - **EMDR therapy** – Treatment for trauma and distress. - **Provisional psychologists** – Affordable options for mental health support. ## Contact Information Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Mon–Fri: 8:00 am to 8:00 pm Sat: 8:30 am to 4:30 pm ## Parking & Accessibility Metered parking on Bridge Road. Free parking on Palmer Street. One step at entrance; ramp available. Multiple consulting rooms and bathrooms on the ground floor. Some consulting rooms upstairs. Toilets are not wheelchair accessible. ## Credentials All practitioners are registered. Medicare rebates available. ## [Meet Our Richmond Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) --- ### [Psychology Wantirna South](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-wantirna-south/) **Published:** May 13, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Psychologists in Wantirna South (Knox), Victoria Our Knox clinic is located in the Westfield Knox Shopping Centre office tower. Surrounded by retail, cafes, a cinema and sports facilities, this is a convenient location for families, professionals and students alike. Services include support for ADHD, EMDR, child psychology (ages 4+), and couples therapy. ## About Our Knox Clinic [Book Your Appointment Now](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) Level 5, Suite 503 425 Burwood Hwy Wantirna South VIC 3152 Australia ## Psychology Services Available - **Child psychology (4+)** – Support for emotional, behavioural, and developmental issues. - **Couples therapy** – Enhance relationship dynamics and resolve conflict. - **ADHD support** – Strategies and assessments tailored to ADHD presentation. - **EMDR therapy** – Trauma-informed treatment for PTSD and related conditions. ## Contact Information Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Mon–Fri: 8:00 am to 8:00 pm Sat: 8:30 am to 4:30 pm ## Parking & Accessibility Westfield Knox Shopping Centre parking – use Entry 2 or 3 on Burwood Highway. Best parking is level 2 in the Black car park. Wheelchair accessible with elevator. Accessible toilets are in the shopping centre. ## Credentials All practitioners are AHPRA registered. Medicare rebates available. Limited bulk billing options. ## [Meet Our Knox Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) --- ### [Psychology Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-fitzroy-north/) **Published:** August 30, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Meet our Psychologists in Fitzroy North, Victoria Looking for compassionate, evidence-based mental health care in Melbourne’s inner north? The Three Seas Psychology’s Fitzroy North clinic offers support for individuals, couples, families, and children. Conveniently located on St Georges Road, our team provides a broad range of services, including low-cost appointments and specialised therapy. ## About Our Fitzroy North Clinic [Book Your Appointment Now](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) 393 – 395 St Georges Road, Fitzroy North, VIC 3068 Australia ## Psychology Services Available - **Child psychology** – Emotional and behavioural support for children and teens. - **Couples and family therapy** – Rebuild connection and communication. - **Eating disorder therapy** – Recovery-focused treatment plans. - **Provisional psychologists** – Affordable care under supervision. - **WISC / WPPSI assessments** – Cognitive assessments for children. ## Contact Information Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Email: ## Opening Hours Mon–Fri: 8am to 8:00 pm Sat: 8:30am to 4:30 pm ## Parking & Accessibility Street parking available on Clauscen Street. *Please note: This building is not fully wheelchair accessible. Entry requires navigating one step, and access to most consulting rooms and the restroom involves stairs. However, there is one consulting room available on the ground level, accessible with a single step, which can be used if suitable for the client.* Next to a health clinic and yoga studio. ## [Meet Our Psychologists in Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/ "Fitzroy North Psychologists") **Locations:** Fitzroy North --- ### [Psychology Melbourne CBD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/location/psychology-melbourne-cbd/) **Published:** March 6, 2024 **Author:** Monique Jones **Content:** ## Psychologists in Melbourne CBD, Victoria Our Melbourne CBD psychology clinic offers expert support for individuals, couples, families, and children. Located on Queen Street, just moments from shops, cafes, restaurants, and public transport, this clinic provides a range of services including child psychology, couples therapy, and forensic psychology. ## About Our Melbourne CBD Clinic [Book Your Appointment Now](https://portal.coreplus.com.au/thethreeseaspsychologygroup) Level 11, 118 Queen Street Melbourne VIC 3000, Australia ## Psychology Services Available - **Child psychology** – Support for emotional, social, and behavioural concerns. - **Couples therapy** – Communication and relationship support for partners. - **Forensic psychology** – Specialist assessment and support services. ## Contact Information Phone: [03 9809 1000](tel:0398091000) Fax: 03 9809 1003 Email: ## Opening Hours Mon–Fri: 8:00 am to 8:00 pm Sat: 8:30 am to 4:30 pm ## Parking & Accessibility Metered parking available opposite the practice on Queen Street. The clinic is wheelchair accessible with an elevator. Toilets are not accessible. ## Credentials All practitioners fully registered with AHPRA, including two clinical psychologists. Medicare rebates available. ## [Meet Our Melbourne CBD Psychologists](https://thethreeseas.com.au/meet-our-psychologists/) **Locations:** Melbourne City --- ## Categories ### [General Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/general-health/) --- ### [Individual](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/individual/) --- ### [Anger Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/individual/anger-counselling/) **Description:** Anger Counselling and Anger Management --- ### [Couples and Families](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/couples/) --- ### [Sexuality](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/couples/sexuality/) --- ### [Childrens and adolescents](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/children-and-adolescents/) --- ### [Sports Psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/children-and-adolescents/sports-psychology/) --- ### [Corporate & Eap](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/corporate-eap/) --- ### [Anxiety in Relationships](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/corporate-eap/anxiety/) --- ### [Groups](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/groups/) --- ### [Addictions](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/individual/addictions/) --- ### [Eating Disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/couples/eating-disorders/) --- ### [Couples Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/couples-counselling/) **Description:** Couples Counselling in Melbourne --- ### [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/depression/) --- ### [Trauma](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/trauma/) --- ### [Parenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/children-and-adolescents/parenting/) --- ### [Blog](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/category/blog/) --- ## Tags ### [psychologist near me](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/psychologist-near-me/) --- ### [couples counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/couples-counselling/) --- ### [relationship counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/relationship-counselling/) --- ### [marriage counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/marriage-counselling/) --- ### [couples retreat](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/couples-retreat/) --- ### [depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/depression/) --- ### [clinical depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/clinical-depression/) --- ### [depression symptoms](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/depression-symptoms/) --- ### [parenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/parenting/) --- ### [psychology](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/psychology/) --- ### [parenting tips](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/parenting-tips/) --- ### [therapy](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/therapy/) --- ### [therapist](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/therapist/) --- ### [counsellor](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/counsellor/) --- ### [counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/counselling/) --- ### [ADHD](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/adhd/) --- ### [family counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/family-counselling/) --- ### [Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/) --- ### [Dementia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/dementia/) --- ### [Alzheimers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/tag/alzheimers/) --- ## Patient Types ### [Adult](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/patient_type/individual_adult/) --- ### [Couple](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/patient_type/couple/) --- ### [Adolescent](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/patient_type/individual-adolescent/) --- ### [Family](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/patient_type/family/) --- ### [Child](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/patient_type/individual-child/) --- ## Claim Types ### [Medicare](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/medicare/) --- ### [DVA](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/dva/) --- ### [Health Care Card Holders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/health-care-card-holders/) --- ### [Private Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/private-health-2/) --- ### [VOCAT](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/vocat/) --- ### [Workcover Claim](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/workcover-claim-2/) --- ### [TAC](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/tac/) --- ### [EAP](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/eap/) --- ### [NDIS](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/claim_type/ndis/) --- ## Filters ### [Claim Type](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/filters/claim-type/) --- ### [Gender](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/filters/gender/) --- ### [Other Information](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/filters/other-information/) --- ### [Patient Type](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/filters/patient-type/) --- ### [Presenting Issue](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/filters/presenting-issue/) --- ## Other Information ### [Court report required](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/other_information/court-report-required/) --- ## Areas of Interest ### [Acquired Brain Injury](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/acquired-brain-injury/) --- ### [Addiction (Alcohol)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/addiction-alcohol/) --- ### [Addiction (Drugs)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/addiction-drugs/) --- ### [Addiction (Gambling)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/addiction-gambling/) --- ### [Addiction (Porn)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/addiction-porn/) --- ### [Addiction (Sex)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/addiction-sex/) --- ### [ADHD (child)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/adhd-child/) --- ### [ADHD (Adult)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/adhd-adult/) --- ### [Anger](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/anger/) --- ### [Anxiety](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/anxiety/) --- ### [Panic attacks](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/panic-attacks/) --- ### [Autism/ Aspegers](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/autism-aspegers/) --- ### [Bipolar](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/bipolar/) --- ### [Body Dysmorphia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/body-dysmorphia/) --- ### [Career Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/career-counselling/) --- ### [Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/depression/) --- ### [Domestic Violence](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/domestic-violence/) --- ### [Eating Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/eating-disorder/) --- ### [Grief/ Loss](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/grief-loss/) --- ### [Health (general)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/health-general/) --- ### [Health (chronic, such as Diabetes, MS, etc)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/health-chronic-such-as-diabetes-ms-etc/) --- ### [Life Coaching](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/life-coaching/) **Description:** Find life coaching psychologists in Melbourne to support goals, confidence and life transitions. Browse clinicians at The Three Seas Psychology. --- ### [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/) **Description:** Find psychologists in Melbourne who support obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), including intrusive thoughts, compulsions and anxiety. --- ### [Parenting](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/parenting/) **Description:** Find parenting psychologists in Melbourne who support family dynamics, child behaviour and parental stress. Browse The Three Seas Psychology team. --- ### [Personality Disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/personality-disorder/) **Description:** Find psychologists in Melbourne who support personality disorders, including emotional regulation, relationships and identity concerns. --- ### [Postnatal Depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/postnatal-depression/) **Description:** Find psychologists in Melbourne who support postnatal depression, anxiety and adjustment to parenthood. Browse The Three Seas Psychology team. --- ### [Pregnancy Support](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/pregnancy-support/) **Description:** Find psychologists in Melbourne who offer pregnancy support, including anxiety, adjustment, birth concerns and emotional wellbeing. --- ### [Psychosis](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/psychosis/) **Description:** Find psychologists who support people experiencing psychosis, including changes in perception, thinking or reality testing, at The Three Seas Psychology. --- ### [Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/post-traumatic-stress-ptsd/) --- ### [Relationships (Individuals)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/relationships-individuals/) --- ### [Couples Counselling](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/couples-relationships/) --- ### [Family Counselling (2+ people)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/family-counselling-2-people/) --- ### [Schizophrenia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/schizophrenia/) --- ### [Self-esteem](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/self-esteem/) --- ### [Self Harm](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/self-harm/) --- ### [Sexual Abuse](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/sexual-abuse/) --- ### [Sexuality](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/sexuality/) --- ### [Sleep](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/sleep/) --- ### [Sports](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/sports/) --- ### [Stress](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/stress/) --- ### [Transition](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/transition/) --- ### [Trauma (mild-moderate, traumatic experience)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/trauma-mild-moderate-traumatic-experience/) --- ### [Weight loss](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/weight-loss/) --- ### [Gender Dysphoria](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/gender-dysphoria/) --- ### [Assertiveness](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/assertiveness/) --- ### [Migrants/Refugees](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/migrants-refugees/) --- ### [Learning Disability](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/learning-disability/) --- ### [Behavioural Problems (Child)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/behavioural-problems-child/) --- ### [Toileting (child)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/toileting-child/) --- ### [Psychiatry](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/psychiatry/) --- ### [Dissociative Disorders](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/dissociative-disorders/) --- ### [Adjustment](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/adjustment/) --- ### [LGBTQIA+](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/lgbtqia/) --- ### [Children & Adolescent Health](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/children-adolescent-health/) --- ### [Eating Disorders & Body Image](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/eating-disorders-body-image/) --- ### [Insomnia](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/insomnia/) --- ### [Addiction (Gaming / Computer)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/addiction-gaming-computer/) --- ### [Antenatal anxiety/depression](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/antenatal-anxiety-depression/) --- ### [Attachment disorder](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/attachment-disorder/) --- ### [General wellbeing](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/general-wellbeing/) --- ### [Infertility](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/infertility/) --- ### [Phobias](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/phobias/) --- ### [Perfectionism](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/speciality/perfectionism/) --- ## Locations ### [Melbourne City](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?location=melbourne_city) --- ### [Knox](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?location=knox) --- ### [Richmond](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?location=richmond) --- ### [Telehealth](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?location=telehealth) --- ### [Fitzroy North](https://thethreeseas.com.au/?location=fitzroy-north) --- ## Client Age Groups ### [Infant (0 - 3 years)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/client_age_group/infant-0-3-years/) --- ### [Early Childhood (4 - 8 yrs)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/client_age_group/early-childhood-4-8-yrs/) --- ### [Late Childhood (9 - 12 yrs)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/client_age_group/late-childhood-9-12-yrs/) --- ### [Early Adolescent (13 - 15 yrs)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/client_age_group/early-adolescent-13-15-yrs/) --- ### [Late Adolescent (16 - 18 yrs)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/client_age_group/late-adolescent-16-18-yrs/) --- ### [Adult (18+)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/client_age_group/adult-18/) --- ### [Adult (21+)](https://thethreeseas.com.au/blog/client_age_group/adult-21/) ---